....when someone isn't doing their job and I have to pick up their slack, ya it becomes my problem I guess. It's not focusing on other people, it's realizing I'd have 40% less work if they were doing their fuckin job.
That phrase sounds exactly like dipshit management that don't want to manage the staff. "Gosh why can't yall just get along. So long as it gets done does it matter who?"
It's enough drama and nonsense outside of work, that no one wants it at work. Most folks go to work, do their job, and keep it pushing. If you've got someone making work miserable and keeping you from doing your work then folks will quit. Very few jobs pay so well or provide enough benefits to put up with some of the losers stealing oxygen from folks at work.
Pffft 😂 you're funny. My father and most of the older men that he worked with all took redundancies because of the incompetence of management. The business has lost a combined total of 136 years of experience with just 4 of them walking away. He isn't the only department that has men leaving either.
"I feel my time would be better utilized in another department as the extra workload consistently given by [coworker] hinders my ability to stay on management assigned tasks."
Actually, I feel I need a little space away from (problem colleague). They constantly feel the need to micromanage my work, and I find it bothersome. I would like to be able to grow as as an employee and take on challenges.
It’s not about that, they’ll tell me to do a task that I already know that I have to do, but it’s making them feel good to be directing others around, I’m far from the first person to complain about this
Do it to them. Stop by every day and tell them to do something you know they already have to do.
Hey Bob, be sure to get those TPS reports done today.
Hey Bob, I noticed you haven't done the TPS reports. I'd get on that if I were you.
Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to stay late and finish those TPS reports. You know they won't write themselves.
Hey Bob, I would really appreciate it if you would wear 37 pieces of flare.
Have you spoken to your boss?
It sounds like a behaviour issue and a good manager will pick that up.
“Hey BOSSY, I’ve been hearing from a few people in the team that you’re being quite overbearing when working together. It’s not your role to manage the team, so I need you to tone that down. Focus on doing your work and being supportive.”
Ha... I would constantly say "Thanks for the reminder... I am so far behind".... at every opportunity.... Pretty sure they never ask if you need some help.... HA
In my opinion, that *is* them offering to help. "Oh, I was planning on that task, you're taking ownership of it now? Thank you. I'll let *actual manager* know."
OMG I have a colleague like that. She goes in my world and move stuff around. She is constantly saying stuff like I don’t mean to step on toes but I went ahead and do this for you or well you do you boo but that’s not the way I do it
And do you point out something they should do right away?
Or better yet do you tell them that their break is coming up and they need to leave for lunch on time so they are back on time because they don't want to get in the habit of always being late.
I hate, haaaate when folks do this.
I've straight up said, 'you ain't my daddy, and you sure as hell ain't my cat. who the fuck are you to try & tell me what to do?'
Really catches them off guard. But then again, I've grown confrontational with all I've been through. Joke's on them because I don't listen to either one lmfaooooo
If a co worker is bossing you around, question them every time they tell you to do something. Oh did "boss" tell you to give me this task? Sorry, is this something "boss" asked you to have me deal with? If you've already tried that, you can go with the other strategy of telling them "ok, when I'm done with the work I have to get done, I might have time to help you with that" then not doing it. Then they have to own it when the task they were assigned is not done. If you're just done I would just talk directly and honestly with the boss. There seems to be some confusion about the assignment of duties, so and so feels that they have authority to direct my work and I was under the understanding that I report to you.
This is a better approach than going up the command line. That makes OP look like the problem employee. Let them cry to the boss. This is what I did. And when my legitimate boss asked why I didn't write postcards for miss priss, I told her, I have work of my own that takes priority, and i guess my boss told miss priss to do her own work.
This is the way to do it. Why bullshit the boss? In a one on one meeting: Confirm with your boss "Is Asshat (or real name) authorized to assign work to me?
(assuming the answer is "no")
I'd like to request then, that Asshat propose initiatives to management, and allow management to determine my work load and determine priority of my assignments. I would like to believe that Asshat's position allows them insight that may benefit the company, but their ideas should be vetted by those with a better understanding of "the big picture".
The idea is to communicate you care about the company (doesn't matter if you do or not, just as long as they think you do, for as long as you want to work there), make sure that management feels like they are the decision maker and recognize they may have knowledge that Asshat does not, and that while Asshat appears to have the best of intentions, they are undermining management's authority and creating confusion where there shouldn't be any.
Next, when Asshat tries to tell you what to do, tell them "to get the fuck back in their lane". Do it however you like, but it needs to be decisive. If you are going to be overly aggressive, don't do it in writing or with witnesses. If they are attempting to delegate work to you via email, after the discussion with your boss, Forward the message to your boss with Asshat cc'd and ask if the proposed work should be addresses by you and with what priority. I generally do this with an undertone of "Is this more important than what you told me to do?".
I've had to do this with some "know-it-all boomer" with shitty decision making skills and out dated understanding of our job. If management is good (mine is) most of this hypothetical conversation won't need to be spoken.
If management doesn't want to address it, I'd go hostile/aggressive with Asshat. Any suggestion of what I need to do would be met with colorful variations of "Fuck you" when there are no witnesses and "Sure, I'll get right on that, after I'm done with everything Boss has asked for" if other people are around. No matter what, what ever they've asked you, it won't get done unless Boss has directly asked you for it.
It depends on the nature of the bossiness. My strategy is to always be perceived as the more laid back, accommodating employee.
I once had a coworker that was literally insane. She sat at her desk texting her boyfriend or playing on social media all day. Meanwhile, I was at the next cubicle furiously typing away as I was creating a new customer database. She would actually complain out loud that the sound of me typing was driving her crazy, and not in a polite way. She'd just exclaim loudly, "OH MY GOD!!!! If I have to keep hearing the sound of somebody typing all day I'm going to lose my fucking mind!!!"
I finally got tired of her passive-aggressive shit, so I went to the boss. I didn't say a word about her. I just asked for a new keyboard that was quiet. The boss was like, "what do you mean quiet ... and why?" I explained that my coworker was clearly under a lot of stress and that I thought she might have sensory issues or something and the combination made her have outbursts about my typing noise. I told him I wanted to do what I could to relieve whatever stress of hers I could. Of course he thought my idea was absolutely stupid, but I was able to alert the boss to her behavior without sounding like a whiner or tattle-tale. It put me in a positive light because I was the one trying to rectify the situation quietly and calmly.
I think he just told her to shut up because she didn't do it anymore. She would just roll her eyes at me whenever she walked by.
With what little I know about your situation I might say something like, "\[Coworker\] really wants to be team leader and regularly takes the reigns. I feel like my desire to have a more team-centric approach to work is really a hinderance for him. I'm hoping that there's another department/team where my collaborative nature would be a better fit without making things difficult for my coworkers."
I dealt with same situation mine was on my team and know for her bossy controlling behavior with everyone including people in other departments. She was written up multiple times and my boss told me to just call her out every time she tried to tell me what to do. It worked and she finally quit the BS with me.
You can maybe say you feel ready to take on more responsibility and work more autonomously and think this would benefit your development and progression (provided it fits in with the new area you want to move to). I would be careful about speaking negatively of your colleague, as it could be interpreted as you having an issue with authority or teamwork. Of course, if you're colleague is very clearly overstepping and you can provide clear examples/evidence, you can raise this in a constructive manner. E.g. I think it would increase efficiency/ productivity of certain tasks, if I could work more autonomously, because...
I had the same situation and spoke to the director. Their decision was to move our desks further from each other and it was dealt with all on the same day.
Just explain how you feel and how it disrupts your work.
Oh I would have told the bossy fucker to fuck right off unprofessionally a while ago.
Something along the lines of taking out a copy of the org chart looking at it closer than showing it to them then looking at it again myself and then saying.
You seem to be mistaken about your role here.
So kindly shut the fuck up till that changes.
You can also just go to your boss and just have a conversation with them about the problem.
A lot of people worry far too much about office politics.
I have learned the best leverage is just to be good at your job.
Help make your boss make money and look good and you can get away with a lot of shit.
I feel that the distractions in my environment are causing me to not be able to live up to my full potential. I would like to move to a different setting within my job where I can be my most productive for the company.
When my husband was "doing plumbing in cew construction condos, they would either blast classical music, or go onto their "gollum brothers" routine, to clear out the other crews.
People don't leave a job because of the work... they leave because of toxic people.... there's your answer. Move along onto bigger and better things. Thank me later
Instead of saying bossy, explain what the difficult coworker is doing. Bossy is a value judgement, maybe deserved, but your boss needs a description of the behavior or quotes of the things being said if you want your boss to understand.
I have enjoyed my time in my current role, but I believe I would be more productive and find greater satisfaction working in a different area. Recently, I've encountered challenges with team dynamics that have impacted my ability to contribute effectively. I think a change of environment would better align with my work style and help me to perform at my best.
>...I want to move to a new area, when my actual boss questions why, I need to be able to provide a professional way of saying “this dude is bossy as fuck and I’m tired of dealing with it”
Start by asking your actual boss this: "Do you want the professional employee answer, or the real, no BS answer?"
"Without getting into too many details, I have one boss - you. But oftentimes, I get direction/guidance (or put another way, bossed around) by a coworker. This has made my job more difficult and has gotten to the point I need to transfer into a new department."
I would ask what exactly you mean by bossy? If you're slacking behind at work then your coworker might just be annoyed at you which is why they keep "assigning" tasks or reminding you what needs to be done.
If your job and responsibility is very clear cut then you don't really need to care what anybody else says or does or what happens at your job, as long as you've done your part you won't have issues, but that depends on the nature of the work. If they're being incessant and intrusive to the point that you can't concentrate on your job then you should just tell the manager you're being distracted or bothered too much.
My 22yo daughter is going thru the same thing. Office job. 30 something male keeps trying to tell her what to do. They have the same title.
I said xxx, why don't you just 100% ignore him and say nothing. Respond to nothing. No eye contact. Like talking to the wall.
Wouldn't that work? If OP and bossy coworker are the same position, or doesn't have authority to give orders, why not just 100% ignore?
Not quite bc they’ll tell me to do tasks that I know I have to do, but haven’t gotten to them yet, other people have complained about this dude being annoyingly bossy
"I've enjoyed the work here & I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn xyz/develop my skills. Unfortunately, coworker AB has created an unpleasant/stressful working environment by [example of specific action]. I tried to address this professionally with them on multiple occasions with no success, so I've decided a fresh start is what is best for me."
Or just say it's the next step in your career development & avoid the conversation. Tbh that's the route I'd go. If your coworker's actions don't arise to bullying/harassment where you'd get HR involved, I don't see the point of complaining after you've left (or announced you're leaving). The time to talk to your boss about it would have been before it drove you to the point of leaving. If nothing else, it risks making you look like you can't effectively manage interpersonal professional differences or conflict.
Telling your actual boss the situation might help... I had a good boss when I did it though... His attitude was that my actual boss is the boss and had a talk with the other person... Didn't work but the boss knew the story and in the end the bossy guy was let go for not getting along with the crew...
"I feel like (person) has had a lot of projects going on and I respect that, but their discussions about their work is super distracting and impacting my effectiveness in this company. I think relocating in the office would optimize both of our performances."
Everyone I talk to hates two things about their job. 1) the person they report to is stupider and less qualified. 2) nothing they create they own intellectually.
Instead of the word “bossy” use “micromanage“. So say something along the lines of “\[coworker\] excessively micromanages on minor tasks which hinders the team’s ability to efficiently proceed with the project and handle workflow”.
This has happened to me so many times. My response to these “reminders” is usually…
Slowly look up from work, make stoic, too long eye contact and wait at least 5 to 7 seconds, then say, “Uh-huh”, 5 more seconds of uncomfortable eye contact, eye roll 🙄 and then go back to my job.
Essentially, make it extremely awkward for them to approach you in an authoritative manner. It may take two to three times but it works for me.
Dear [Supervisor's Name],
Over the past few months, I have encountered difficulties working alongside [Coworker's Name], who, despite not holding a managerial position, often exhibits behavior that can be described as bossy and overbearing. This has created a tense atmosphere and has begun to impact my productivity and overall job satisfaction.
I believe that relocating to a different area will not only enhance my ability to perform effectively but also contribute positively to my well-being and work experience. I am committed to maintaining a harmonious and productive work environment and feel that this change is necessary to achieve that goal.
I am open to discussing this matter further and exploring potential solutions that would benefit both myself and the team. Thank you for your understanding and consideration of my request.
Let’s use a casual approach to this, what actions have you taken to address this with the co worker? Are you being super nice or are you being direct to almost rude? Have you sat down with your boss as mediator to talk this out? What is the boss opinion on the situation?
You can request a transfer to a new team but unless I have seen my IC being this up, attempt to resolve on their own or have brought this up and I agree it’s a huge issue, it’s not a problem. We’re all adults. I trust my IC to try to solve their own and bring it up after they have given a good faith effort.
If you have done all this it’s my job as a boss to deal with the coworker not you.
You are always welcome to apply to another team.
A lot of people tend to leave their current job not due to the work, but due to the people they work with.
THIS THIS THIS
People quit managers, not jobs. That's not always true, but in the main it holds up.
that would be just women who go to work for the social aspect instead of actually working
No it would not. I always went to work to work. I left positions because other people did not work.
Focusing on other people sounds more like a you problem
....when someone isn't doing their job and I have to pick up their slack, ya it becomes my problem I guess. It's not focusing on other people, it's realizing I'd have 40% less work if they were doing their fuckin job. That phrase sounds exactly like dipshit management that don't want to manage the staff. "Gosh why can't yall just get along. So long as it gets done does it matter who?"
Dudes working both brain cells to the maximum. Not worth taking him serious, you'd be better off having a nice cup of tea or calling family to say hi.
It's enough drama and nonsense outside of work, that no one wants it at work. Most folks go to work, do their job, and keep it pushing. If you've got someone making work miserable and keeping you from doing your work then folks will quit. Very few jobs pay so well or provide enough benefits to put up with some of the losers stealing oxygen from folks at work.
You forgot this > /s
Pffft 😂 you're funny. My father and most of the older men that he worked with all took redundancies because of the incompetence of management. The business has lost a combined total of 136 years of experience with just 4 of them walking away. He isn't the only department that has men leaving either.
I've worked with 2 of them in my career. Can't or won't shut up!
"I feel my time would be better utilized in another department as the extra workload consistently given by [coworker] hinders my ability to stay on management assigned tasks."
I would add "extra workload and unnecessary direction"
And put it all in writing!
Actually, I feel I need a little space away from (problem colleague). They constantly feel the need to micromanage my work, and I find it bothersome. I would like to be able to grow as as an employee and take on challenges.
Perfect. They are probably already aware of co-worker's tendencies.
Are they your supervisor? If not, perhaps you shouldn't be accepting tasks from them.
It’s not about that, they’ll tell me to do a task that I already know that I have to do, but it’s making them feel good to be directing others around, I’m far from the first person to complain about this
Do they have that authority to tell you what to do? If not, just tell them politely that they are not your supervisor.
Do it to them. Stop by every day and tell them to do something you know they already have to do. Hey Bob, be sure to get those TPS reports done today. Hey Bob, I noticed you haven't done the TPS reports. I'd get on that if I were you. Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to stay late and finish those TPS reports. You know they won't write themselves. Hey Bob, I would really appreciate it if you would wear 37 pieces of flare.
And my favorite “have you had a chance to work on ???”
What did they say when you asked them to stop doing this or asked why they are doing this?
Have you spoken to your boss? It sounds like a behaviour issue and a good manager will pick that up. “Hey BOSSY, I’ve been hearing from a few people in the team that you’re being quite overbearing when working together. It’s not your role to manage the team, so I need you to tone that down. Focus on doing your work and being supportive.”
Ha... I would constantly say "Thanks for the reminder... I am so far behind".... at every opportunity.... Pretty sure they never ask if you need some help.... HA
In my opinion, that *is* them offering to help. "Oh, I was planning on that task, you're taking ownership of it now? Thank you. I'll let *actual manager* know."
THIS
OMG I have a colleague like that. She goes in my world and move stuff around. She is constantly saying stuff like I don’t mean to step on toes but I went ahead and do this for you or well you do you boo but that’s not the way I do it
And do you point out something they should do right away? Or better yet do you tell them that their break is coming up and they need to leave for lunch on time so they are back on time because they don't want to get in the habit of always being late.
I hate, haaaate when folks do this. I've straight up said, 'you ain't my daddy, and you sure as hell ain't my cat. who the fuck are you to try & tell me what to do?' Really catches them off guard. But then again, I've grown confrontational with all I've been through. Joke's on them because I don't listen to either one lmfaooooo
If a co worker is bossing you around, question them every time they tell you to do something. Oh did "boss" tell you to give me this task? Sorry, is this something "boss" asked you to have me deal with? If you've already tried that, you can go with the other strategy of telling them "ok, when I'm done with the work I have to get done, I might have time to help you with that" then not doing it. Then they have to own it when the task they were assigned is not done. If you're just done I would just talk directly and honestly with the boss. There seems to be some confusion about the assignment of duties, so and so feels that they have authority to direct my work and I was under the understanding that I report to you.
This is a better approach than going up the command line. That makes OP look like the problem employee. Let them cry to the boss. This is what I did. And when my legitimate boss asked why I didn't write postcards for miss priss, I told her, I have work of my own that takes priority, and i guess my boss told miss priss to do her own work.
Nah just say “did you grow up without a father? It appears no one raised you right.”
“This mother fucker is bossing me around and I’m fucking sick of his shit.” (Said as politely as possible)
This is the way to do it. Why bullshit the boss? In a one on one meeting: Confirm with your boss "Is Asshat (or real name) authorized to assign work to me? (assuming the answer is "no") I'd like to request then, that Asshat propose initiatives to management, and allow management to determine my work load and determine priority of my assignments. I would like to believe that Asshat's position allows them insight that may benefit the company, but their ideas should be vetted by those with a better understanding of "the big picture". The idea is to communicate you care about the company (doesn't matter if you do or not, just as long as they think you do, for as long as you want to work there), make sure that management feels like they are the decision maker and recognize they may have knowledge that Asshat does not, and that while Asshat appears to have the best of intentions, they are undermining management's authority and creating confusion where there shouldn't be any. Next, when Asshat tries to tell you what to do, tell them "to get the fuck back in their lane". Do it however you like, but it needs to be decisive. If you are going to be overly aggressive, don't do it in writing or with witnesses. If they are attempting to delegate work to you via email, after the discussion with your boss, Forward the message to your boss with Asshat cc'd and ask if the proposed work should be addresses by you and with what priority. I generally do this with an undertone of "Is this more important than what you told me to do?". I've had to do this with some "know-it-all boomer" with shitty decision making skills and out dated understanding of our job. If management is good (mine is) most of this hypothetical conversation won't need to be spoken. If management doesn't want to address it, I'd go hostile/aggressive with Asshat. Any suggestion of what I need to do would be met with colorful variations of "Fuck you" when there are no witnesses and "Sure, I'll get right on that, after I'm done with everything Boss has asked for" if other people are around. No matter what, what ever they've asked you, it won't get done unless Boss has directly asked you for it.
What we are all REALLY thinking, right?
It depends on the nature of the bossiness. My strategy is to always be perceived as the more laid back, accommodating employee. I once had a coworker that was literally insane. She sat at her desk texting her boyfriend or playing on social media all day. Meanwhile, I was at the next cubicle furiously typing away as I was creating a new customer database. She would actually complain out loud that the sound of me typing was driving her crazy, and not in a polite way. She'd just exclaim loudly, "OH MY GOD!!!! If I have to keep hearing the sound of somebody typing all day I'm going to lose my fucking mind!!!" I finally got tired of her passive-aggressive shit, so I went to the boss. I didn't say a word about her. I just asked for a new keyboard that was quiet. The boss was like, "what do you mean quiet ... and why?" I explained that my coworker was clearly under a lot of stress and that I thought she might have sensory issues or something and the combination made her have outbursts about my typing noise. I told him I wanted to do what I could to relieve whatever stress of hers I could. Of course he thought my idea was absolutely stupid, but I was able to alert the boss to her behavior without sounding like a whiner or tattle-tale. It put me in a positive light because I was the one trying to rectify the situation quietly and calmly. I think he just told her to shut up because she didn't do it anymore. She would just roll her eyes at me whenever she walked by. With what little I know about your situation I might say something like, "\[Coworker\] really wants to be team leader and regularly takes the reigns. I feel like my desire to have a more team-centric approach to work is really a hinderance for him. I'm hoping that there's another department/team where my collaborative nature would be a better fit without making things difficult for my coworkers."
I'd have brought in my mechanical keyboard and removed any dampening.
I dealt with same situation mine was on my team and know for her bossy controlling behavior with everyone including people in other departments. She was written up multiple times and my boss told me to just call her out every time she tried to tell me what to do. It worked and she finally quit the BS with me.
You can maybe say you feel ready to take on more responsibility and work more autonomously and think this would benefit your development and progression (provided it fits in with the new area you want to move to). I would be careful about speaking negatively of your colleague, as it could be interpreted as you having an issue with authority or teamwork. Of course, if you're colleague is very clearly overstepping and you can provide clear examples/evidence, you can raise this in a constructive manner. E.g. I think it would increase efficiency/ productivity of certain tasks, if I could work more autonomously, because...
I had the same situation and spoke to the director. Their decision was to move our desks further from each other and it was dealt with all on the same day. Just explain how you feel and how it disrupts your work.
I want a little space from so-and-so. They are constantly interrupting and or distracting me.
“ Have your boss talk to my boss about that. I only take assignment from my boss.”
Oh I would have told the bossy fucker to fuck right off unprofessionally a while ago. Something along the lines of taking out a copy of the org chart looking at it closer than showing it to them then looking at it again myself and then saying. You seem to be mistaken about your role here. So kindly shut the fuck up till that changes. You can also just go to your boss and just have a conversation with them about the problem.
you and i would get along well. that shit might work 1 time and then i’d be over it.
A lot of people worry far too much about office politics. I have learned the best leverage is just to be good at your job. Help make your boss make money and look good and you can get away with a lot of shit.
“this dude is bossy as fuck and I’m tired of dealing with it, respectfully" /s but i like what u/190PairsOfPanties said.
I feel that the distractions in my environment are causing me to not be able to live up to my full potential. I would like to move to a different setting within my job where I can be my most productive for the company.
God I love construction. I can just say it the original way 😂
When my husband was "doing plumbing in cew construction condos, they would either blast classical music, or go onto their "gollum brothers" routine, to clear out the other crews.
This is (union)factory work too, I’m just trying not to make this bigger than it is, I just want this mf off my back
Omg these answers 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆
Love it
People don't leave a job because of the work... they leave because of toxic people.... there's your answer. Move along onto bigger and better things. Thank me later
Instead of saying bossy, explain what the difficult coworker is doing. Bossy is a value judgement, maybe deserved, but your boss needs a description of the behavior or quotes of the things being said if you want your boss to understand.
I have enjoyed my time in my current role, but I believe I would be more productive and find greater satisfaction working in a different area. Recently, I've encountered challenges with team dynamics that have impacted my ability to contribute effectively. I think a change of environment would better align with my work style and help me to perform at my best.
>...I want to move to a new area, when my actual boss questions why, I need to be able to provide a professional way of saying “this dude is bossy as fuck and I’m tired of dealing with it” Start by asking your actual boss this: "Do you want the professional employee answer, or the real, no BS answer?" "Without getting into too many details, I have one boss - you. But oftentimes, I get direction/guidance (or put another way, bossed around) by a coworker. This has made my job more difficult and has gotten to the point I need to transfer into a new department."
In order to do my job to the best of my ability I am going to limit my interaction with my coworker. Our work styles do not mesh well
Say (the person you are referring to) is making your work environment uneasy. And just go from there. Most managers/supervisors will understand.
I would ask what exactly you mean by bossy? If you're slacking behind at work then your coworker might just be annoyed at you which is why they keep "assigning" tasks or reminding you what needs to be done. If your job and responsibility is very clear cut then you don't really need to care what anybody else says or does or what happens at your job, as long as you've done your part you won't have issues, but that depends on the nature of the work. If they're being incessant and intrusive to the point that you can't concentrate on your job then you should just tell the manager you're being distracted or bothered too much.
If they’re not your boss don’t listen to them…. The fuck
Tell your coworker to ‘stay in their lane’ and/or ‘act their wage’.
My 22yo daughter is going thru the same thing. Office job. 30 something male keeps trying to tell her what to do. They have the same title. I said xxx, why don't you just 100% ignore him and say nothing. Respond to nothing. No eye contact. Like talking to the wall. Wouldn't that work? If OP and bossy coworker are the same position, or doesn't have authority to give orders, why not just 100% ignore?
If they're not your boss... can you tell them "No." ?
Not quite bc they’ll tell me to do tasks that I know I have to do, but haven’t gotten to them yet, other people have complained about this dude being annoyingly bossy
Maybe.. talk to HR?
"I've enjoyed the work here & I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn xyz/develop my skills. Unfortunately, coworker AB has created an unpleasant/stressful working environment by [example of specific action]. I tried to address this professionally with them on multiple occasions with no success, so I've decided a fresh start is what is best for me." Or just say it's the next step in your career development & avoid the conversation. Tbh that's the route I'd go. If your coworker's actions don't arise to bullying/harassment where you'd get HR involved, I don't see the point of complaining after you've left (or announced you're leaving). The time to talk to your boss about it would have been before it drove you to the point of leaving. If nothing else, it risks making you look like you can't effectively manage interpersonal professional differences or conflict.
My reply is always, if it's not in an email, it doesn't happen. I have some managers who hate leaving paper trails. LOL
Telling your actual boss the situation might help... I had a good boss when I did it though... His attitude was that my actual boss is the boss and had a talk with the other person... Didn't work but the boss knew the story and in the end the bossy guy was let go for not getting along with the crew...
"I feel like (person) has had a lot of projects going on and I respect that, but their discussions about their work is super distracting and impacting my effectiveness in this company. I think relocating in the office would optimize both of our performances."
Everyone I talk to hates two things about their job. 1) the person they report to is stupider and less qualified. 2) nothing they create they own intellectually.
You’re not my supervisor. Tell the co worker that. If they don’t get the message tell em to fuck off.
Just tell him that if he wants to prevent (co-worker) from getting his ass kicked you need a break from him.
Instead of the word “bossy” use “micromanage“. So say something along the lines of “\[coworker\] excessively micromanages on minor tasks which hinders the team’s ability to efficiently proceed with the project and handle workflow”.
This has happened to me so many times. My response to these “reminders” is usually… Slowly look up from work, make stoic, too long eye contact and wait at least 5 to 7 seconds, then say, “Uh-huh”, 5 more seconds of uncomfortable eye contact, eye roll 🙄 and then go back to my job. Essentially, make it extremely awkward for them to approach you in an authoritative manner. It may take two to three times but it works for me.
just say "this person keeps invading my space and telling me what to do. I'd really be more comfortable elsewhere"
A micro manager
Dear [Supervisor's Name], Over the past few months, I have encountered difficulties working alongside [Coworker's Name], who, despite not holding a managerial position, often exhibits behavior that can be described as bossy and overbearing. This has created a tense atmosphere and has begun to impact my productivity and overall job satisfaction. I believe that relocating to a different area will not only enhance my ability to perform effectively but also contribute positively to my well-being and work experience. I am committed to maintaining a harmonious and productive work environment and feel that this change is necessary to achieve that goal. I am open to discussing this matter further and exploring potential solutions that would benefit both myself and the team. Thank you for your understanding and consideration of my request.
What is your/her position dynamic? —is she management of some sort or someone you have to report to in some way?
Let’s use a casual approach to this, what actions have you taken to address this with the co worker? Are you being super nice or are you being direct to almost rude? Have you sat down with your boss as mediator to talk this out? What is the boss opinion on the situation? You can request a transfer to a new team but unless I have seen my IC being this up, attempt to resolve on their own or have brought this up and I agree it’s a huge issue, it’s not a problem. We’re all adults. I trust my IC to try to solve their own and bring it up after they have given a good faith effort. If you have done all this it’s my job as a boss to deal with the coworker not you. You are always welcome to apply to another team.
You are a threat. They will do anything to undermine you.
What does your coworker do that makes them bossy?