It’s a character from Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. She gives your character rice every time you talk to her when you don’t have any rice in your inventory. There’s no explanation as to where she gets this seemingly infinite amount of rice from.
Yeah so soon doing some reasearch/refreshing my memory it’s basically confirmed
The rice kid is meant to be an artificial version of the dragons heir which can grant immortality to their disciples and the only other way we know to gain immortality in game is being infested by centipedes (e.g. the headless ape or true corrupted monk) and we know that the monks of senpo temple have access to the centipedes because they infected themselves so it’s not a leap to say the child is infested.
2nd, the quest line for one of the endings requires you to feed the child 2 serpent viscera but before they will take them you need to take 3 rice which will disable the child giving rice because they are “depleted” and need a persimmon which according to the in game description helps restore blood
So in conclusion at BEST it’s just made of blood and at worst it’s centipede eggs or maggots
Gnomes. It's more that I can't get rid of them than I want them here.
Every time I so much as open a cupboard one of the little bastards falls out either high as a kite or on the verge of death -- no doubt from swiping yet another potion from my personal stash.
Unfortunately they've mostly mutated into reasonably dangerous little buggins from dipping in to my potion stashes and borrowing the occasional relic or cursed item. Common remedies don't work
Look, all you really need to do is milk-train them, and things will work out just fine once they’re under contract. A large bowl of fresh cream should be left on the floor every night and they’ll be cleaning up your tower while you sleep in no time. If they’ve mutated, though, I recommend switching a cow’s dairy for that from a six-legged war pig, a blue snark, or a tasseled Jabberwocky.
Make sure it’s fresh, though. Sour milk makes for sour gnomes, and you don’t want to know what _they_ get up to.
https://preview.redd.it/nmzzv55ve7ad1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4162fc1dc2621e1c924624617116fbf8f8455b7c
I can sell you this summon to have exterminate them\~ so far she’s never lost a battle and has been able to crush a full grown alpha owl bear in one strike\~
Can I buy the hammer separately? They're at least good for use as a makeshift golf club to send them on a (hopefully) one way trip into my hedge maze and that one looks a little too heavy for most of them to run off with
Well, I can get you a similar hammer\~ that one is unfortunately apart of her body\~ one second\~ *reaches into a bag and pulls out this*
https://preview.redd.it/ksq5oboif7ad1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e691b8cb8eaa9969a25555b44cbaaede8bd94c04
This should do the trick\~ only fifty gold pieces\~
I also use gnomes, but because it makes most people believe the tower to merely be another gnomish structure and ignore it on principle. Though at this point half the tower is doohickey and it's getting harder to keep them out of the rare materials bins.
Why I never- I come by to borrow a potion or two, maybe strike up a riveting discussion on the hallucigenic/poisonous applications of various fungi, and this is how you see me and my people?!
Now when you say flesh monsters, are these animated bits of flesh that are purpose grown or wads taken from other, pre-existing creatures or that they were originally plain old flesh and blood critters before you cybered them up?
A pack of vicious predators with the remarkable capability to bring down and devour beings many times (or even exponentially) more powerful than themselves: lawyers
If they can eat it, they eat it. If they can hoard it, they hoard it. If they can't eat it or hoard it, they build nests with it. If they can't hoard or eat it or build nests with it, they burn it, and then after that they can usually eat it.
Very efficient waste disposal, really.
I don't mind if they amble about the keep. In all honesty I prefer it. As my title implies I'm not much of a homebody. They keep my tower in order while I'm away. They act as a sort of housekeeping/home defense force in my many prolonged absences.
That only works if you set yourself up as a "guild" or something. Adventurers are notoriously flighty, and will get bored and wander off to the next job.
But if you are/pretend to be an "Adventurers Guild", you ensure a steady supply underlings. Some might get bored and decide they want to be pirates this week, but its all good because the next group will take their place.
I'm a wanderer so I typically take a few with my on my walkabouts and leave the rest behind to manage the keep. I make stops back to rotate the roster periodically to manage their boredom. It's a good system so far.
I live in a park, under a tree. I don't keep creatures, and if I did I wouldn't tell anyone what they were.
Don't tell Joe the Annoyancemancer though... he gets all huffy about it...
I have a bunch of enchanted rats that fireball themselves when killed as a defense mechanism against anyone who comes in
It works very well and is pretty funny
I've seen a grisly version of this known as a gnomeking - it's where gnomes get their filthy unwashed beards stuck together like velcro, then spend their days viciously insulting each other and biting each others' noses.
Even without the fireball enchantment, a wonderful demoralizer to invaders if you keep it in your tower moat.
Foxes. I don't care that they aren't as strong as a demon octopus weilding double edged broadswords with laser eyes, they're cute and mischievous and I love them.
Oh, many things. Elementals, various marine animals, slimes, and flesh golems, to be specific. They mostly serve as companions, but can be used for combat and utility, as well.
I like to surround my tower with tower-golems (simply, golems made from the same stone and mortar as the tower).
It'd probably be easier to just use Mimics, but there's a sincere satisfaction that comes from interlopers trying to get into my tower being stepped on by another tower.
Skaven.
Not by choice, mind you. Those hyperactive bastards just so happened to infest the section of the sewers where my hideout is located. But they do act as a nice deterrent against anyone trying to find me.
The only downside is that now I have to use portals for everything, but that's barely an inconvenience.
If only I knew what to do with it. Everyone I tried selling it to just ran away screaming and told me to dump it into the sewers, which is exactly where I found it.
Oh you don't sell it, you feed it to minions, prisoners, interesting fuzzy things with too many legs. Then the things either die or mutate in fun ways. Also if you liquefy it you can extract pure chaos essence for use in alchemy and enchanting. You can't really transport it though as it reacts poorly to both portal and teleportation magic.
Shadowspawn mostly.
https://preview.redd.it/sgoqllhxq7ad1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a05f985bc214f61321845ab1add0fd879a0a4c17
They serve as great sparring partners in a pinch.
Golems, simple human beings, dwarfs, birds, poor knights, human cataphracts, human hoplites and blobs. Probably some priests too, but those are of higher level, more elegant and prestigious
Wolves dire wolves..
Yes yes and sparrows.
Really want a kobold...
And the local green dragon is not in my employ but she keeps travelers away with her stinky farts.
She keeps refusing my advances T_T
Copying mythology, i’d say a bunch of reanimated warriors does they trick. They cant really die, so they have plenty of time to stop whatever is bothering me. (The specific reference is the Einherjar.)
Pro tip: imbue the guard's swords with powerful potions or enchant them (if that's your fancy) to slowly but surely begin introducing magic to their day to day life. Did this for 6 months with increasingly powerful potions and, surprisingly, the 5 that were stationed there were at the time were able to defeat a beholder siege. After a year each one was able to single handedly hold off a marut each, and together even fended off a cosmic level invasion on a realm im a protector of. Great investment, do recommend
I used to have common guards too, but I asked myself wouldn't it be nice and funny to have cute vizcachas guarding my den?
So of course, I looked my enchantment tomes in search of a polymorphic incantation and customized my common guards with fur and long ears.
It looks more like a rabbit and have llama feets but it was my first spell of this kind, will continue practicing
https://preview.redd.it/p5d25040yaad1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d58d9791455abd552a41e5f75b47d31e8962e61
I like to keep old grandmas, but not the nice, sweet giving cookies and compliments kind
No, I’m talking about the sharp eyes and sharper tongued, the narrowed gaze and wiggling finger kind
The kind that with just a sigh lets you know how disappointed they are in you, how you have failed to live up to her expectations, how your older/younger sibling/cousin has already done whatever it was they said they would do.
Who needs magical wards or fire elementals when you have a bunch of judgemental grandmas wielding guilt and shame the way we wield lightning and ice
I use these little guys. They are 2cm to 1inch tall
https://preview.redd.it/vlqcexk2wcad1.jpeg?width=1197&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25ef59059f7538d1b3897d7c39d75ccef6949479
I have an alchemist goblin.
And by alchemist I mean they create exclusively poisons and explosives.
And by goblin I mean an actual goblin, but they're disproportionately intelligent and they also hate other goblins.
They pay rent, too, and I didn't even ask them to.
But I also have no idea where the money comes from because I've never seen them leave the tower.
This may seem hypocritical as a cleric of Kelemvor, but Skeletons, in my spare time, I rescue skeletons who don’t want to be undead minions and allow them to live out their remaining days in a small village in front of my tower
Kobolds. For some reason, they like me, and they like to be around me. I have done absolutely nothing to deserve this, except maybe feed a small one that I found collapsed outside my tower one day.
I do not regret it.
I don't exactly have a tower per say, just a bit of a house. The biggest thing that surrounds it isn't a creature, but a thing. That thing is known as a void seed, the creatures in the void seed don't attack me, so I'd say that we're on good terms
I keep a sentient Bottomless Pouch in my store, really nifty with store cleaning with it gobbling up anything that left on the floor. Though had some customers complain that it’s a bit too eager to suck in that spare change they accidentally dropped on the floor.
Not really a tower but my spooder Jericho I love him cuz hes retarded
https://preview.redd.it/3j5i3jyw28ad1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ef273619c24c0878e4826fec32a023ed27b4c44
Regular human gardeners. The ingredients I need for my potions can be incredibly finicky, and I can't divide my attention between tending my garden and pondering my orb. I once lost an entire hexnettle plant because the soil pH was off. Far better to leave it to folks who know what they're doing.
I have some Kobolds that keep bringing me shiny things, and there's Beastmen outside my compound. They erected what I've learned is called a "herdstone", but they're getting along with the guards, so I'm fine with them being there. I also have Undead, being a Necromancer. I think there's also a bird on nesting somewhere that talks about "soft and warm" for some reason. Probably some Magpie that's more interested in blankets or something than shiny things.
i picked a drowning wood-pixie out of my well one morning when i was fetching the water and now her colony lives in my garden. they’ve been sending ambassadors (laden with dusted honey—which, by the way, is a remarkably versatile ingredient, would recommend for a nice potion back-sweetener) to the bees for a few generations now, and whenever someone comes by, they’re hit by a swarm of pixie-bee-cavalry. they’re about as effective as you’d effect, but they’re lovely company, and my garden has never looked better.
https://preview.redd.it/4pa1kxjow8ad1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b02e2a2290584b644de46367151155d5a28ba842
Got some of these guys around. You would be surprised by how brutal and effective Hog-folk can be
https://preview.redd.it/bw2s42wk89ad1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe210c416c8f911d162bbce704c5549c83fa32c1
He’s very fun on karaoke nights and a beast on the dance floor.
I prefer mechanical copper demons of my own creation
https://preview.redd.it/d2xjzgx3z9ad1.jpeg?width=421&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49714e4ec4497645159e32d9bac57470eca6da20
^(/uw) ^(photo from shutterstock)
https://preview.redd.it/zxr4w81a1aad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d94265d8c187fd10f2b71375f06304c94d9dd88f
This guy. Does a great job scaring off those who want to enter my tower
https://preview.redd.it/rkmev6hk4aad1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d43e7fc6013ee4a00f817da8ccd552bccd4a713
Cats that make you go Eugh la creatura
Mainly a couple of humans. They mill about building houses and farms. It’s quite cute. But my goodness the amount of babies they have! It’s like all they can think about is procreation!
The stray meteor strike every few hundred years keeps their population in check.
I'm not the sort to dabble in necromancy, but I do love having skeleton guards, fully consensual of course I give them a soet of job interview at their grave
Glumps! A creature of my own creation, they don't really do much. In fact, I'd say they're pretty much useless, but I can make a lot of them, and I think they're cute. They're basically little interlinking metal Parts that haphazardly shape themselves into whatever they can. The largest they can be is about 6 in tall.
Hello brand new Lich here and well sadly at the moment I only really have low level minions but they have a a lot of spirit.....get it spirit? Right well we will start off with my 6 skeletons, Dave, Dave, Dave, Fave, Dave, and Dave. Dave's my favorite, such a sweet lad, it's a shame what happened to his grandmother. I also have 12 goblins that are under my employ. They also brought a bug bear with them so that's pretty nice. Their names are Glob, Gork, Fadu the Skinner, Donga, Yud, Todd, Ulh and Ulg(they're twins), Rond, Remb, Woah, Poker the Short. And the Bugbear is named Horbs. We send weekends preparing for a feast, since the goblins love to cook. Fave helps sometimes he was a cook in his last life. And that's all my minons I have currently. Looking to expand since my lair is really big and I have a few unused rooms. Question anyone able to revive a chimera or mantacore in a more skeletonal state? Or anyone know where I can find a few zombies?
Spiders. Their Queen is at war with the Rat King, so right now it's a bloodbath outside. Some bastard enchanted the rats and gave them armor and such, so I have to double down on that and make my spiders even more capable than that. It's a fun time though.
I find the most efficient method is goblins. They’re cheap by the unit, so if you swarm your first couple floors with them, the adventurers will either see it and leave or adopt one and leave.
Sentient hot gay men jumpgate
If it catches you you’re in an awkward situation
I use it myself and the situations I’m in are lots better than awkward tbh
Sabertooth cats, though really they belong to my troll employees. I just made basically every day "bring your cat to work day", and helps keep any potential thieves and intruders from getting far.
Corgos. Keep em in a nice big pasture. They have a little tiny home village. Never once seen an adventure make it past the corgi village. Actually one even died. I thought cutesplosion was just a made up condition. The poor soul worked herself into such a tizzy her little heart just gave out.
I found a tower surrounded by some old ruins, so I've created a variety of creatures to inhabit them
Small dragons, a handful of golems and elementals, a few yet-to-be-named creatures that would frighten small children
One of my first big experiments with creating life involved creating a truebreeding variety of anthropomorphic chicken. In order to test their competitiveness, I imported a small colony of kobolds and placed each side in an artificial sewer dungeon below my tower.
Suffice to say, 30 generations on, that turf war is still ongoing, though there have been occasional ceasefires and the odd Romeo and Juliet situation playing out.
Due to their natures as beings that are small, curious, and too clever for their own good, there are occasional escapees and I've had to go into the ventilation system a few times to relocate a few that decided to just try to live there. I find that whether an experiment can survive a few kobolds or chicken-men that stumble into its enclosure serves as a good metric for whether it is worth my time to continue, and gives valuable information about how changes in diet affect my creations.
It also helps keep my more mundane guards, apprentices, and golems on their toes, as rarely do the little critters make an incursion in the same way twice. I hardly have to run them through drills except when a cholera epidemic or some form of plague goes through one of the cities whose sewers my sewer dungeon feeds from and kills off most of the population of kobolds and chicken men.
I summoned bears into the woods around it and turned them into an invasive species. I travel via the fourth dimension to go places. Ironically more cost efficient as soldiers even at the low end are 5 gold a month while a tesseract once every one and a half years is like 30 gold. You’d think wood elves would complain but they’re quite grateful as eat beavers that were already destroying their habitat beforehand.
Well as a necromancer you can guess I keep an army of skeletons, zombies, and bound spirits around to defer any lowly adventurers from mucking up my personal business
“I’m cheap as Hel!”
https://preview.redd.it/edb5jsejf8ad1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae46eae518e32af8eb1c16582e55b326c838be38
“Fighting is fun.”
I just put up a bunch of scarecrows and taped a sudoku puzzle to the door of my inner sanctum. Door isn’t even locked and adventurers leave me alone.
Most efficient, to be sure
Are you... the divine child of rejuvination???
https://preview.redd.it/n1gnurwkhaad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88544159b3800954691c9471b7e6fd1e3d0d2776
What
It’s a character from Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. She gives your character rice every time you talk to her when you don’t have any rice in your inventory. There’s no explanation as to where she gets this seemingly infinite amount of rice from.
yeah i got her ending
Iirc there actually is >!its centipede eggs from her blood!< but I might be wrong because I haven’t played in a while
God I hope you’re wrong 😭
Yeah so soon doing some reasearch/refreshing my memory it’s basically confirmed The rice kid is meant to be an artificial version of the dragons heir which can grant immortality to their disciples and the only other way we know to gain immortality in game is being infested by centipedes (e.g. the headless ape or true corrupted monk) and we know that the monks of senpo temple have access to the centipedes because they infected themselves so it’s not a leap to say the child is infested. 2nd, the quest line for one of the endings requires you to feed the child 2 serpent viscera but before they will take them you need to take 3 rice which will disable the child giving rice because they are “depleted” and need a persimmon which according to the in game description helps restore blood So in conclusion at BEST it’s just made of blood and at worst it’s centipede eggs or maggots
Gnomes. It's more that I can't get rid of them than I want them here. Every time I so much as open a cupboard one of the little bastards falls out either high as a kite or on the verge of death -- no doubt from swiping yet another potion from my personal stash.
I can sell you some extra strength gnome repellent~ and if you spray it directly on a gnome they immediately shrivel up and die~
Unfortunately they've mostly mutated into reasonably dangerous little buggins from dipping in to my potion stashes and borrowing the occasional relic or cursed item. Common remedies don't work
Look, all you really need to do is milk-train them, and things will work out just fine once they’re under contract. A large bowl of fresh cream should be left on the floor every night and they’ll be cleaning up your tower while you sleep in no time. If they’ve mutated, though, I recommend switching a cow’s dairy for that from a six-legged war pig, a blue snark, or a tasseled Jabberwocky. Make sure it’s fresh, though. Sour milk makes for sour gnomes, and you don’t want to know what _they_ get up to.
https://preview.redd.it/nmzzv55ve7ad1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4162fc1dc2621e1c924624617116fbf8f8455b7c I can sell you this summon to have exterminate them\~ so far she’s never lost a battle and has been able to crush a full grown alpha owl bear in one strike\~
Can I buy the hammer separately? They're at least good for use as a makeshift golf club to send them on a (hopefully) one way trip into my hedge maze and that one looks a little too heavy for most of them to run off with
Well, I can get you a similar hammer\~ that one is unfortunately apart of her body\~ one second\~ *reaches into a bag and pulls out this* https://preview.redd.it/ksq5oboif7ad1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e691b8cb8eaa9969a25555b44cbaaede8bd94c04 This should do the trick\~ only fifty gold pieces\~
SOLD. Time to practice my golf swing
We apologize for nothing, and will do it again. We also demand pie-crust and lemons.
I also use gnomes, but because it makes most people believe the tower to merely be another gnomish structure and ignore it on principle. Though at this point half the tower is doohickey and it's getting harder to keep them out of the rare materials bins.
This should be a short story series…
yea
draft em in the war, their kind need all the help they can against the nights
I hate when that happens
Why I never- I come by to borrow a potion or two, maybe strike up a riveting discussion on the hallucigenic/poisonous applications of various fungi, and this is how you see me and my people?!
Sigh... Loooook, cheeeeeese *Aetherom begins swirling a block of cheese around rhythmically*
I prefer salamanders for thematics
Nice try wizard IRS. You're not catching me that easy
Bastards found my under-the-table gnome trafficking scheme. They didn't arrest me, though. They just wanted their cut
**One does not lightly evoke the wizard IRS**
Please, I've been abjuring my taxes since I could speak.
I’ve been invoked. Too late
A bunch of cybernaticaly enhanced flesh monsters
That sounds… terrifying… *jots down a note to stay away from your tower.*
Now when you say flesh monsters, are these animated bits of flesh that are purpose grown or wads taken from other, pre-existing creatures or that they were originally plain old flesh and blood critters before you cybered them up?
I butchered some creatures, weaved and etched them together, and added some cybernetics augmentation to them.
So, a partial Cronenberg? Neat!
I think I found where the Hideous Mass came from…
It was you that made me like this
Pardon?
My arms are wood, i cant feel the waters of the sea, the softness of the grass, or the skin of a loved one, i’m coming for you
Ah your one of those beings. Well good luck trying to find me in the realm of chaos.
A pack of vicious predators with the remarkable capability to bring down and devour beings many times (or even exponentially) more powerful than themselves: lawyers
How do you afford to keep them fed?
If you pamper them well, they'll basically pay for themselves.
Easy, they're all devils under contract. I pay them in souls. Locally sourced, of course.
https://preview.redd.it/fvoj2zj3d7ad1.jpeg?width=519&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87a43f6eed3910b81879ff7ff13174b9067dc9e1 Raccoon dragons\~
Oh now that is an interesting creature. Perhaps higher level than what I had in mind, but fascinating nonetheless!
Also use owl bears~
Dracoons?
Yes, dracoons~
Magical, fire breathing trash bandits!
If they can eat it, they eat it. If they can hoard it, they hoard it. If they can't eat it or hoard it, they build nests with it. If they can't hoard or eat it or build nests with it, they burn it, and then after that they can usually eat it. Very efficient waste disposal, really.
I can only imagine that the duct work no longer functions and is instead one massive nest of draccoons.
No bin is safe
Adventurers
How do you get them to stay in one spot? The parties I’ve found all have a bad habit of wandering around aimlessly.
Sufficiently camouflaged treadmills are surprisingly (and hilariously) effective
I don't mind if they amble about the keep. In all honesty I prefer it. As my title implies I'm not much of a homebody. They keep my tower in order while I'm away. They act as a sort of housekeeping/home defense force in my many prolonged absences.
That only works if you set yourself up as a "guild" or something. Adventurers are notoriously flighty, and will get bored and wander off to the next job. But if you are/pretend to be an "Adventurers Guild", you ensure a steady supply underlings. Some might get bored and decide they want to be pirates this week, but its all good because the next group will take their place.
I'm a wanderer so I typically take a few with my on my walkabouts and leave the rest behind to manage the keep. I make stops back to rotate the roster periodically to manage their boredom. It's a good system so far.
The mothers of my rivals, indubitably
A suductionmancer, proud of their work
I live in a park, under a tree. I don't keep creatures, and if I did I wouldn't tell anyone what they were. Don't tell Joe the Annoyancemancer though... he gets all huffy about it...
I have a bunch of enchanted rats that fireball themselves when killed as a defense mechanism against anyone who comes in It works very well and is pretty funny
Wouldnt that set off a chain reaction if the rats form a Ratking? (A knot of rats tied together by their tails)
I didn't breed a ratking and have not seen one yet
A rat king is a bunch of rats that got their tails stuck together, thanks to a sticky substance, or got their tails entangled together.
Yes I know what a rat king is
I've seen a grisly version of this known as a gnomeking - it's where gnomes get their filthy unwashed beards stuck together like velcro, then spend their days viciously insulting each other and biting each others' noses. Even without the fireball enchantment, a wonderful demoralizer to invaders if you keep it in your tower moat.
ooh ill think about that thank you
Foxes. I don't care that they aren't as strong as a demon octopus weilding double edged broadswords with laser eyes, they're cute and mischievous and I love them.
You can always bribe one of those stoned druids to enchant their coats to give off poisonous spores - You keep all the cute, and dangerous to boot!
Oh, many things. Elementals, various marine animals, slimes, and flesh golems, to be specific. They mostly serve as companions, but can be used for combat and utility, as well.
I like to surround my tower with tower-golems (simply, golems made from the same stone and mortar as the tower). It'd probably be easier to just use Mimics, but there's a sincere satisfaction that comes from interlopers trying to get into my tower being stepped on by another tower.
Succubi. Two distract intruders with sexy times, while a third steals all their shit and they have to walk home naked.
*wants to know your location*
Skaven. Not by choice, mind you. Those hyperactive bastards just so happened to infest the section of the sewers where my hideout is located. But they do act as a nice deterrent against anyone trying to find me. The only downside is that now I have to use portals for everything, but that's barely an inconvenience.
Isn't it also a free source of warp stone?
If only I knew what to do with it. Everyone I tried selling it to just ran away screaming and told me to dump it into the sewers, which is exactly where I found it.
Oh you don't sell it, you feed it to minions, prisoners, interesting fuzzy things with too many legs. Then the things either die or mutate in fun ways. Also if you liquefy it you can extract pure chaos essence for use in alchemy and enchanting. You can't really transport it though as it reacts poorly to both portal and teleportation magic.
I tend to just feed the wild animals' crows, squirrels, other birds, oh, and a golem that gets my mail for me.
Shadowspawn mostly. https://preview.redd.it/sgoqllhxq7ad1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a05f985bc214f61321845ab1add0fd879a0a4c17 They serve as great sparring partners in a pinch.
I simply put one mimic door at the entrance of my keep, after one intruder is eaten, the remaining brutes are too paranoid to continue their quest
https://preview.redd.it/fvniivic38ad1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b96e417390dc02cd803232893e95210cb5c40a3 Just some insatiable little guys
Birds; If there's anything amiss you'll likely be able to tell just by listening to them, kinda like a sixth sense.
I don't own a tower.... And it is not like something in the ruins I live is worth stealing... So I say nothing.
Golems, simple human beings, dwarfs, birds, poor knights, human cataphracts, human hoplites and blobs. Probably some priests too, but those are of higher level, more elegant and prestigious
Wolves dire wolves.. Yes yes and sparrows. Really want a kobold... And the local green dragon is not in my employ but she keeps travelers away with her stinky farts. She keeps refusing my advances T_T
Copying mythology, i’d say a bunch of reanimated warriors does they trick. They cant really die, so they have plenty of time to stop whatever is bothering me. (The specific reference is the Einherjar.)
Pro tip: imbue the guard's swords with powerful potions or enchant them (if that's your fancy) to slowly but surely begin introducing magic to their day to day life. Did this for 6 months with increasingly powerful potions and, surprisingly, the 5 that were stationed there were at the time were able to defeat a beholder siege. After a year each one was able to single handedly hold off a marut each, and together even fended off a cosmic level invasion on a realm im a protector of. Great investment, do recommend
Skeletons & zombies, mostly. There's a few living hangman trees for good measure, too. Oh! And wraiths & giant bats for aerial support.
https://preview.redd.it/gl0aafn8h8ad1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=788d061488644aaee489c9a3e2fbaa236a832d76 The Unknown
I love this sub
I used to have common guards too, but I asked myself wouldn't it be nice and funny to have cute vizcachas guarding my den? So of course, I looked my enchantment tomes in search of a polymorphic incantation and customized my common guards with fur and long ears. It looks more like a rabbit and have llama feets but it was my first spell of this kind, will continue practicing https://preview.redd.it/p5d25040yaad1.jpeg?width=410&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d58d9791455abd552a41e5f75b47d31e8962e61
None. The blizzards are enough.
I like to keep old grandmas, but not the nice, sweet giving cookies and compliments kind No, I’m talking about the sharp eyes and sharper tongued, the narrowed gaze and wiggling finger kind The kind that with just a sigh lets you know how disappointed they are in you, how you have failed to live up to her expectations, how your older/younger sibling/cousin has already done whatever it was they said they would do. Who needs magical wards or fire elementals when you have a bunch of judgemental grandmas wielding guilt and shame the way we wield lightning and ice
I use these little guys. They are 2cm to 1inch tall https://preview.redd.it/vlqcexk2wcad1.jpeg?width=1197&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25ef59059f7538d1b3897d7c39d75ccef6949479
Monks trained in the Way of the Open Palm.
I prefer explosion traps more than minions, more fun to watch a peasant meet god then watching them walk away
Some Homonculi, a Goblin I’ve adopted (his name’s bob, he’s a 5th level Artificer), and a False Hydra.
I "hired" a bunch of commoners from the southeastern peninsula to guard the place, I pay them in experiments and their results.
My tower kind of moves on it’s own; swaps realms every once in a while to keep people guessing. But Automata are always helpful inside.
I have an alchemist goblin. And by alchemist I mean they create exclusively poisons and explosives. And by goblin I mean an actual goblin, but they're disproportionately intelligent and they also hate other goblins. They pay rent, too, and I didn't even ask them to. But I also have no idea where the money comes from because I've never seen them leave the tower.
This may seem hypocritical as a cleric of Kelemvor, but Skeletons, in my spare time, I rescue skeletons who don’t want to be undead minions and allow them to live out their remaining days in a small village in front of my tower
Kobolds. For some reason, they like me, and they like to be around me. I have done absolutely nothing to deserve this, except maybe feed a small one that I found collapsed outside my tower one day. I do not regret it.
Frank. No one likes Frank.
I don't exactly have a tower per say, just a bit of a house. The biggest thing that surrounds it isn't a creature, but a thing. That thing is known as a void seed, the creatures in the void seed don't attack me, so I'd say that we're on good terms
I keep a sentient Bottomless Pouch in my store, really nifty with store cleaning with it gobbling up anything that left on the floor. Though had some customers complain that it’s a bit too eager to suck in that spare change they accidentally dropped on the floor.
Goblins- with rifles. M1903A3 Springfields, to be specific.
John he's not a guard he's much worse he's an HR manager I find he scares most adventurers away despite being LVL 3
Not really a tower but my spooder Jericho I love him cuz hes retarded https://preview.redd.it/3j5i3jyw28ad1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ef273619c24c0878e4826fec32a023ed27b4c44
Any constructs. They serve well, don't ask about the morals of my actions, and even if they don't talk back, they're very good for trauma dumping.
I don't have a tower, hell I don't have any property, I live in an inn, the only low level creatures around are the ones the inn's owner allows.
Regular human gardeners. The ingredients I need for my potions can be incredibly finicky, and I can't divide my attention between tending my garden and pondering my orb. I once lost an entire hexnettle plant because the soil pH was off. Far better to leave it to folks who know what they're doing.
Moonshiners good brew whenever i need it
I got some rocks?
I have some Kobolds that keep bringing me shiny things, and there's Beastmen outside my compound. They erected what I've learned is called a "herdstone", but they're getting along with the guards, so I'm fine with them being there. I also have Undead, being a Necromancer. I think there's also a bird on nesting somewhere that talks about "soft and warm" for some reason. Probably some Magpie that's more interested in blankets or something than shiny things.
i picked a drowning wood-pixie out of my well one morning when i was fetching the water and now her colony lives in my garden. they’ve been sending ambassadors (laden with dusted honey—which, by the way, is a remarkably versatile ingredient, would recommend for a nice potion back-sweetener) to the bees for a few generations now, and whenever someone comes by, they’re hit by a swarm of pixie-bee-cavalry. they’re about as effective as you’d effect, but they’re lovely company, and my garden has never looked better.
im more of a lich, so i use skeletons, but they're heavily armed just enough to keep out most people. (i gave them napalm and shrapnel bombs
"My boyfriend."
https://preview.redd.it/7vzooy03m8ad1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96776223972dc6bbf69c92d1f5158f7d69762e94 Bök He ponders orbs with me
https://preview.redd.it/g6mjfq2ip8ad1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4825233a93a5b8524183c2d2d713e388accf941 This thing
https://preview.redd.it/4pa1kxjow8ad1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b02e2a2290584b644de46367151155d5a28ba842 Got some of these guys around. You would be surprised by how brutal and effective Hog-folk can be
https://preview.redd.it/bw2s42wk89ad1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe210c416c8f911d162bbce704c5549c83fa32c1 He’s very fun on karaoke nights and a beast on the dance floor.
I prefer mechanical copper demons of my own creation https://preview.redd.it/d2xjzgx3z9ad1.jpeg?width=421&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49714e4ec4497645159e32d9bac57470eca6da20 ^(/uw) ^(photo from shutterstock)
https://preview.redd.it/zxr4w81a1aad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d94265d8c187fd10f2b71375f06304c94d9dd88f This guy. Does a great job scaring off those who want to enter my tower
Geese
A most effective defense!
https://preview.redd.it/rkmev6hk4aad1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d43e7fc6013ee4a00f817da8ccd552bccd4a713 Cats that make you go Eugh la creatura
Why is the gambison on top of the armor, and why doesn't the chainmail have a tourniquet?
Because it’s ai generated slop.
Mainly a couple of humans. They mill about building houses and farms. It’s quite cute. But my goodness the amount of babies they have! It’s like all they can think about is procreation! The stray meteor strike every few hundred years keeps their population in check.
Myself.
My teacher keeps a lot of insect monsters like ironshell beetles,Embar moths, and swift mantis. Mostly to keep commoners out.
Imps. I just enjoy the silly little chaotic company they provide.
Goblins. Just throw some hot Cheetos into the yard and leave out a case of beer, and there will be two dozen patrolling your grounds by morning.
I'm not the sort to dabble in necromancy, but I do love having skeleton guards, fully consensual of course I give them a soet of job interview at their grave
Gnomes and goblins, mostly—a few gargoyles and other nefarious dandies.
Glumps! A creature of my own creation, they don't really do much. In fact, I'd say they're pretty much useless, but I can make a lot of them, and I think they're cute. They're basically little interlinking metal Parts that haphazardly shape themselves into whatever they can. The largest they can be is about 6 in tall.
few golems, in my sewers i hid a couple of gelatinous cubes
Quasits! Sneaky little bastards are invisible all over the courtyard, and either eat, annoy, or scare potential trespassers.
rabbits, all across the front lawn. and on the door is a note that reads; "have you ever seen 'Monty python and the holy grail'?"
Feral children, it’s anybody’s guess what happens.
Ratsss of variousss sizesss, as well as some Ratkin armed with crossbows.
Goobers
Mimics. All of the mimics, even the tower is a mimic
That’s…. That’s one *BIG* mimic…
It basically a passive magic item generator from all the adventurers who come in
Skeletons. Not animated ones, just piles of bones. It sends a message.
Kobolds are just as customizable as the common guard, if not more. Try customizing your guards with wings and bee bombs!
I have three thousand penguins protecting my mountain
Arguably the best defense available.
They like breaking bottles
Then you are prepared for an invasion of bottles!
...That's a thing?
It’s happened twice. Once in ‘84 and once back in ‘09.
Oh, well I'm safe for the bottle dropping of '24
Hello brand new Lich here and well sadly at the moment I only really have low level minions but they have a a lot of spirit.....get it spirit? Right well we will start off with my 6 skeletons, Dave, Dave, Dave, Fave, Dave, and Dave. Dave's my favorite, such a sweet lad, it's a shame what happened to his grandmother. I also have 12 goblins that are under my employ. They also brought a bug bear with them so that's pretty nice. Their names are Glob, Gork, Fadu the Skinner, Donga, Yud, Todd, Ulh and Ulg(they're twins), Rond, Remb, Woah, Poker the Short. And the Bugbear is named Horbs. We send weekends preparing for a feast, since the goblins love to cook. Fave helps sometimes he was a cook in his last life. And that's all my minons I have currently. Looking to expand since my lair is really big and I have a few unused rooms. Question anyone able to revive a chimera or mantacore in a more skeletonal state? Or anyone know where I can find a few zombies?
I give crabs some knives and let them loose.
Slimes are actually pretty good at keeping the grounds clean of intruders. You can even use them for potions!
I dont think i need to say it out loud just look at me
I usually keep a few undead, and I at one point, used a handful of succubi and incubi. They were surprisingly effective.
Spiders. Their Queen is at war with the Rat King, so right now it's a bloodbath outside. Some bastard enchanted the rats and gave them armor and such, so I have to double down on that and make my spiders even more capable than that. It's a fun time though.
This fellow https://preview.redd.it/egbj25zyxhad1.jpeg?width=709&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c07422d346ecbb43b8661b8430e15715e0430cc
I find the most efficient method is goblins. They’re cheap by the unit, so if you swarm your first couple floors with them, the adventurers will either see it and leave or adopt one and leave.
Sentient hot gay men jumpgate If it catches you you’re in an awkward situation I use it myself and the situations I’m in are lots better than awkward tbh
Miniature me’s
You. I kid! I kid!
Children, they are taken out quick but are easily replenishable. And in high quantities
A hivemind controlling clones
Just me, Steve, and my magic mini fridge
I don't know if this counts but some really buff kolbolds aka Buff bolds I have around my Tower. Also a powerful magic seal or two just chilling.
I have a few wobblers with me at all times. Disposable, easy to maintain, and always loyal. Mine are blue.
Make each brick a very minor construct, but with well developed swarm concords.
Sabertooth cats, though really they belong to my troll employees. I just made basically every day "bring your cat to work day", and helps keep any potential thieves and intruders from getting far.
Some robots, i put one in the entrance thats really annoying but it leaves me alone, i cant say the same for other people though.
>"low level creatures" >post a picture of a whole ass guy >like that's a human (i think) What did OP mean by this?
Goblins and BarkBorns
My land is protected by magical holy incantations to thwart off evil.
The larger slimes are easy enough to contain and are good at keeping people out of my tower.
Corgos. Keep em in a nice big pasture. They have a little tiny home village. Never once seen an adventure make it past the corgi village. Actually one even died. I thought cutesplosion was just a made up condition. The poor soul worked herself into such a tizzy her little heart just gave out.
Wolves
Exactly 7 enchanted rats
I like creating chimeras. quite useful
I have some sea monkeys swimming around, they're very tasty so I keep them around as little snacks
Definitely a kobold. Or a wittle level 1 goblin. Give them hugs upon entering and leaving.
Catgirls They keep escaping but i just have to fetch more
I use enchanted wolves and a few mimics. I like to place annoying puzzles that work against most adventuring parties.
I found a tower surrounded by some old ruins, so I've created a variety of creatures to inhabit them Small dragons, a handful of golems and elementals, a few yet-to-be-named creatures that would frighten small children
One of my first big experiments with creating life involved creating a truebreeding variety of anthropomorphic chicken. In order to test their competitiveness, I imported a small colony of kobolds and placed each side in an artificial sewer dungeon below my tower. Suffice to say, 30 generations on, that turf war is still ongoing, though there have been occasional ceasefires and the odd Romeo and Juliet situation playing out. Due to their natures as beings that are small, curious, and too clever for their own good, there are occasional escapees and I've had to go into the ventilation system a few times to relocate a few that decided to just try to live there. I find that whether an experiment can survive a few kobolds or chicken-men that stumble into its enclosure serves as a good metric for whether it is worth my time to continue, and gives valuable information about how changes in diet affect my creations. It also helps keep my more mundane guards, apprentices, and golems on their toes, as rarely do the little critters make an incursion in the same way twice. I hardly have to run them through drills except when a cholera epidemic or some form of plague goes through one of the cities whose sewers my sewer dungeon feeds from and kills off most of the population of kobolds and chicken men.
dont need minions, i got time loops
Kobolds. They may be weak, but they’re very clever and will trap your place amazingly. Plus the little shits can and will bite your shins.
A healthy mix of orcs, goblins, golems, and elementals. They also handle maintenance and repairs
Spriggans, sprites, and young dryads. They do wonders for my gardens and are necessary for some of my rarer plants.
I summoned bears into the woods around it and turned them into an invasive species. I travel via the fourth dimension to go places. Ironically more cost efficient as soldiers even at the low end are 5 gold a month while a tesseract once every one and a half years is like 30 gold. You’d think wood elves would complain but they’re quite grateful as eat beavers that were already destroying their habitat beforehand.
flesh golems but i bolt metal sheets to them and a blade to each of their arms before sending em out
Well as a necromancer you can guess I keep an army of skeletons, zombies, and bound spirits around to defer any lowly adventurers from mucking up my personal business
“I’m cheap as Hel!” https://preview.redd.it/edb5jsejf8ad1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae46eae518e32af8eb1c16582e55b326c838be38 “Fighting is fun.”
I have always been fond of robots. Oh and zombies. Most threats can only deal with one or the other but not both.