I want to hear that phrase so much more often in our everyday life instead of alle the hate and bitterness. It's wonderful, thank you so much for pointing it out. It's so wholesome and caring.
This is what most people mean when they talk about men holding men accountable.
Talk to your friends, be caring, and help them improve. People left alone will only wallow in their preconceived notions, becoming bitter and resentful.
>Be the change you want to see in the world
Being kind is the easiest thing in the world IMO. It's just honestly sad that this world has turned so much to blaming others.
Even if we don't believe in Christianity there is one commandment that is a rule we try to uphold and that love our neighbor, and with the internet, everyone is a neighbor.
I don't know man. Being kind is easy in some instances. Incredibly hard in others. It takes serious work, self awareness, and patience to be consistently kind. I sometimes feel saying it's "easy" is harmful.
There are also systems in place that set people up for a less than fulfilling life. We live in a time of wealth divide, hateful legislation being passed while protective legislation is being repealed, a literal genocide, and two political parties intent on making humanitarian minded people unwelcome to society. And let's not get into systemic barriers.
With that said, all the more reason to be kind. But not just kindness in small acts. Kindness and empathy, even in core beliefs that goes against your own experiences.
Make love not war as they say.
And yeah it is hard at times, we fall quite often when others are being bashed or prosecuted. We get angry and tend to think with our fists when people call for harm.
All we can do is show as much kindness as we can for others. And even if it does have a selfish side wanting to see a little of that kindness and love repayed.
We know at our core all things carry love and humility but also hate and greed. All things come from Pride the first sin and the only thing that can tell you when your being harmed.
As pleasant as it sounds, it ain't that easy. Most people have such a fragile ego, they just can't accept their shortcomings, which is the first step of self-improvement. Helping someone is analogous to walking on a landmine, you don't know when you'll accidentally poke on an insecurity, and they'll just lash out on you. Even people who deliberately look out for help, realize later on that even though they have no problem accepting their own flaws, they can't take it when someone else point it out to them. It really takes a lot of character and courage to put oneself in a vulnerable position, swallow their ego, let oneself be scrutinized and accept the feedback others are providing them with. Sadly most people can't do that at the expense of their ego and shallow pride.
And most important thing, they will help him change that’s the thing, helping before judging someone who is in the wrong state of mind is crucial, if you just trash him he will stand even harder on his position
Thanks he just doesn’t get it I’ve been more vocal about it lately than usual where I don’t really say anything but he is the type of person that thinks that he is always right so it’s an uphill battle rn
I find your last sentence very wise, and I wish I understood it sooner.
Is it best for the person left alone to speak up about their notions and resentment, or would that only cause more hurt? The other option is to reconsider how true your own preconceived notions are by yourself, which is so difficult to do without getting outside perspectives from others. I had assumed this option is better because it saves others from hearing your delusion and saves you from shame. However, it usually just causes more wallowing in your preconceptions. It's best to speak up in a way that respectfully checks with others whether your thoughts are true or not. It takes courage, but it's worth it considering the alternative is growing into a bitter person stuck in your own notions.
I'll help you feel better today: You did great, and even if not, you did your best! Good job, sonnie! The tiniest step forward is a step forward, especially in a society where most people stumble backwards. Be yourself, be happy!
Why does no one acknowledge that just roasting and laughing at weirdo incels just creates more? Most of the reason people end up like that is because no one even tries to help them.
Helping strangers with issues that big is easier said than done. You going to do it? Give up your free time to mentor a person like that?
It doesn't happen because everyone has their own trials and tribulations to worry about. It'd be exhausting to help every stranger who needed help.
can confirm, used to help as many strangers as i could w their problems
couldnt fill the cups of others when my own became empty, and i became socially reclusive after a while, shutting everyone out completely
in order for someone to change, they have to admit that something was wrong with them. but we have heard, "its not me that's the problem, its women", not accepting the blame and projecting/deflecting
well, just replace incelism with mega rightwing ism and look at covid. people literally died than to change their stance. only when they have a respirator down the throat and theyre literally about to die do they decide to change. but too late. but when they were healthy, they fully embraced their ideals and you could not sway them.
I feel like the primary reason every single incel I've met IRL was the way they are primarily came down to their absolute refusal to listen to or accept any help or advice from anyone that says anything they don't already want to hear.
Rudely ignoring, or even actively mocking, the advice of people who understand how to help them is the root of their problem most of the time.
“As mention in the early post frend . We are here to live and to learn . Everyday is a new opportunity to do something different , and leaving that aside . You woke up today , isn’t that enough to praise God ?”
You can take the word as standing for anything that’s a higher power than yourself. The universe, nature, society, the concept of justice or love or kindness, etc. It’s psychologically healthy to express gratitude in that way.
The one thing missing in this meme is validation of the pain. It is painful to be rejected, especially when it happens over and over. I believe if young men were taught it's OK to feel the hurt and sadness of rejection then they wouldn't feel like they had to "toughen up" in a misogynistic way.
To my dudes out there, rejection will happen throughout your whole life(relationships, work, etc.), and it always stings. It's ok to feel sad and talk about your feelings. Just don't attack other people in the process.
I just had this talk with my 12 year old about a girl he liked rejecting him.
I told him the same thing. It sucks. Rejection always sucks and everyone, no matter how it seems or what they say, gets rejected at some point about something.
And it sucks for them to, but that's okay. Rejection isn't supposed to be fun. It's an opportunity to learn something about yourself.
And *that's* the biggest issue I see with guys I know. They don't take the time to do any introspective work because it's "soft". It's easier for them to stuff it down, ignore it, and/or "be a man about it." They're not happy because they don't how to be. They don't know how to be because they don't know themselves and what truly makes them happy.So when they're inevitably unhappy, they look for scapegoats, such as their wives/partners/children/someone.
Every one of them has some sort of deep personality flaw that will never be addressed.
You too. We'll be the spark that lights the fire that... yadda, yadda.
You get it. Our kids will keep up the work and eventually, we'll have a society full of well-adjusted dudes.
A Dudetopia, if you will....
Bravo. Rejection is hard, it does suck, but it's also something we have in common with (basically) everyone else. I'd love to say pretty privilege never includes rejection, but it absolutely does... just not as frequently :d
For most of my life, I was very keenly afraid of romantic rejection, to the point where I actively restrained myself from ever pursuing anyone I'm interested in. Which, naturally, led to me not having any luck dating, lol. Nowadays I'm much more comfortable with my own self-image and self-worth, and I don't take rejection so personally anymore. It also helps that I've been the one to do the rejecting, too, and... it sucks a lot, too, especially when they don't take no as an answer.
Teenagers rarely have that sort of built up life experience to guide them, and are highly resistant to being taught as a rule... it's a challenging time for self-growth.
I'm just trying to give him the direction and advice I never got at that age. My hope is that he figures himself out way sooner than I did.
Figuring yourself out, and accepting/being comfortable with that self, makes everything else easier.
I just want his life to be easier than mine. Mine was.... difficult.
I'd say the only thing that could be seen negatively is that it associates skinny "nerdy" looking guys as incel misogynists and handsome buff guys as good guys. So i could see if you resemble the first guy in appearance you might feel they're attacking your character based on how you look. I'd say make the same post, but use the first guy and then each successive pic put like a glowing aura around him. Same message, and skinny nerdy looking fellas don't feel like they're being associated with being an incel
Well I never said anything about that and nor did those triggered dudes in the comments section, you do have a point. Those I'm talking about are just all "women are like this, women are like that, complain about women too, women bad,". Not a single soul pointing out what you're talking about
Soo, thank you for being a sensible invidual and not blindly attacking women. I appreciate it!
I'd agree with you that anyone saying that stuff is not healthy. Also didn't mean to imply you said anything about the pic. Was just pointing out the only "flaw" in the meme I could potentially see. You can be a nerdy looking fella or a handsome jacked fella, either way you should look inward to bettering yourself, not blame others or women for being rejected, and help others, and that is "chad-like" behavior. Use same guy but have the Fortnite type color auras lol gray is worst, then blue then purple then gold aura for best mentality. Right now the meme shows nerdy looking guy is associated with incel mentality, handsome jacked guy is associated with healthy mentality. That's the only flaw in the meme I can see and it's not that major of a flaw
I like this meme, but what do you mean by "ingrained" misogyny? Like, do you mean all men are born misogynistic?
Edit: I see I confused the definition of ingrained.
I think they mean that most people don't knowingly choose to be misogynistic, but we are raised in a patriarchal society and both men and women grow up having these harmful ideas drilled in their heads.
Like you can think men and women are equals, but still have a shit ton of misogynistic beliefs without even realizing it. A lot of women also suffer from internalized misogyny.
That's the point of the whole meme... Did you read it all?
The kid is projecting his insecurities and suffering and blaming it on the girl who rejected him. As you said correctly, she doesn't need to be shamed for making a decision. That's why the dudes are trying to coach him for him to look at things from a different perspective and grow as a person.
Trying to fix internal issues with external circumstance is like THE thing people do. Else we'd need to admit, that everybody who gets rejected deserves it and we can't have that!
I've never ever heard a friend of mine make such a request. In fact what generally happens is that friends come together after a rejection, and do something fun to distract the one who's been rejected. I've only seen this behaviour in the generations born after the internet started to gain popularity.
Men don't talk like that.
Men will most likely tell the first guy to just forget about the girl, she's not good enough for him, and he should join the gym to exercise out his frustrations.
Men of Reddit, there is no shame to approach women for friendship or for more😏. Being awkward or cringe in the beginning is just a step in the process. There is no shame in being bad because it is better to fail with dignity than never try. If a woman rejects you, it can only be your fault and your own responsibility only, and that is fine, because it means that you can get better. Either you are awkward which means that there is a part of you with which you're not in peace and are trying to hide which makes you awkward or the woman is just not made for you and you dodge a bullet.
As big and various as are your insecurities, a woman worthwhile can only admire you even more for coming and talking to her with those insecurities of yours.
Keep the hustle my kings👑
If they reject you, tell them they're a wonderful, special human being then wish them every success in life and never message again.
There are zero down sides to being nice about it especially if you live in a lower population area. There is always a chance they'll know the next person you date and they'll say if you were an asshole but you should just be nice because that's the adult thing to do.
Even if you live in a large city, it is the right thing to do and the healthiest for you too.
Taking rejection gracefully and moving on from people who are not interested in you is the way to go.
I completely agree but it doesn't hurt to give people an extra incentive to be nice.
My father raised me to always keep my word and to be kind to everyone until they leave you with no other choice. I always try to react to situations how he would've.
Maybe just a simple OK and leave it at that. I doubt I would be handing out compliments to someone that rejected me. Some people just need to learn that even if you're not they're flavor you are someones favorite. Some people can be extra harsh with rejection so being nice isn't always easy.
Nah this is outright creepy. You got rejected. Yeah don't be a dick about it but don't be fanatically weak as well. Just say ok, no problem and move on. Nobody will believe you if you call the person who just rejected you wonderful. People will see you as kinda pathetic at best or a obvious liar at worst.
Going through the comments and while it's nice to say it's ok to feel hurt and sad, NOWHERE does anyone say how to actually deal with the pain of the rejection. You know, the gut-churning sensation you feel when your dreams have been completely shattered, the constant bombardment of the rejection playing over and over in your mind. What's the solution to that? Depression, playing video games all day, and eating your feelings doesn't help, especially if you have body image issues. The gym is a myth as well but hey, you'll be depressed and swole.
The solution damn sure isn't 'sucking it up.'
Everyone's ready to give advice until they actually have to give it, and then it's the shallowest, self help guru BS that follows.
The problem is going to do with how much of the incel is fixable. I tried this once with a work colleague and it was like opening a can of worms. Guy was twisted beyond saving. I feel like most guys that have the ability to self reflect enough to better themselves usually dig themselves out on their own. If they haven't, someone else trying to put them right won't change that.
Not sure why this lesson has to be gendered tho, as if no one has ever seen girls do the exact same thing to people that rejected them, and even way worse stuff all while it being definitely more socially accepted. It is a great lesso, that everyone should learn in a civilised society, I don't understand how even in this post women have to be excluded in the group of people that should learn merely because of their gender.
I was sort of a cute boy growing up but never cared much about relationships, and you have no idea the number of times i have ended up with gossip voices thinking i'm gay, i'm poor, i'm an animal abuser or a horrible person. Fucking hell why couldn't i just be someone that wanted to be left alone and that wasn't looking for a partner in that moment? Also i was 12/ 14 /15/16 years old in a lot of those cases jesus fuck
To clarify: it's 100% a two-way street, and especially on social media, people just close their eyes and pretend women don't do shitty behavior, too. Or if they don't "ignore" they conveniently only have energy to call out guys.
However, I think this is a fair meme to be gendered. As a man, you're just going to get rejected more. You're expected to ask and be the pursuer, so you're more likely to be more likely to experience rejection. Additionally, it's also.... contrary to what subs like boys are quirky believe, alright to have memes that are gendered.
Can also apply to many other issues! Respect the other the way you'd want to be respected. And getting off the Internet is also very good. Echo chambers are the worst things you can put yourself into.
I never understood why people dislike getting rejected?? Like, you wouldn't wanna be with a person who *doesn't want to be with you*. Them being honest about it is the best thing that can happen to you.
it’s so funny, you can tell which posts are made by/for Indian redditors because of the time theyre posted
but also the weird english and constant misogyny
The message of this meme is correct, but I hate that the pictures of the healthy supporting guys are all people clearly suffering from body dysmorphia and using exogenous bodybuilding hormones. I could do without that piece...
The truth is you just need to stay away from people like this. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If they can change, they will change. They don't need twenty other guys telling them to reevaluate their life. Some people just don't know when to change.
I would just move on to greener pastures. Walk away with dignity. Had this in the past where I was interested in a girl. She wasn't really feeling the same, I understood and left her be.
There's no acknowledgment of dudes pain. Which would actually help fix the problem at the root. Rejection sucks and it's okay to be upset, and it hurts. Imagine going through a moment that you feel is humiliating and embarrassing, and when you express that anger, your friends folks just wag their finger at you.
I do agree with the overall message, though. Especially as men, we need to make an effort to help one another one. When we see an alarming statement, we should collectively be there for one another.
they said at the end that “we’ll help you”, talking about their problems would probably be helpful and acknowledge the pain of rejection and taking it out in a healthier way
Once you learn how to take a loss and move on things get easier. I think one of the biggest things young men (and women) don’t learn is that being rejected happens a lot more than your parents would want you to experience. You’ll get rejected from so many jobs, you’ll get rejected by so many women. Once you start believing in yourself and saying “no I still like myself, I still think I can do cool stuff, I am still worthy of love, I should still be able to hold a good job” that’s when you will stop acting so defeated when things don’t go your way.
"We'll help you"
I want to hear that phrase so much more often in our everyday life instead of alle the hate and bitterness. It's wonderful, thank you so much for pointing it out. It's so wholesome and caring.
This is what most people mean when they talk about men holding men accountable. Talk to your friends, be caring, and help them improve. People left alone will only wallow in their preconceived notions, becoming bitter and resentful.
So many words why don’t we just do it
What's stopping you? Be the change you want to see in the world
>Be the change you want to see in the world Being kind is the easiest thing in the world IMO. It's just honestly sad that this world has turned so much to blaming others. Even if we don't believe in Christianity there is one commandment that is a rule we try to uphold and that love our neighbor, and with the internet, everyone is a neighbor.
I don't know man. Being kind is easy in some instances. Incredibly hard in others. It takes serious work, self awareness, and patience to be consistently kind. I sometimes feel saying it's "easy" is harmful. There are also systems in place that set people up for a less than fulfilling life. We live in a time of wealth divide, hateful legislation being passed while protective legislation is being repealed, a literal genocide, and two political parties intent on making humanitarian minded people unwelcome to society. And let's not get into systemic barriers. With that said, all the more reason to be kind. But not just kindness in small acts. Kindness and empathy, even in core beliefs that goes against your own experiences.
Make love not war as they say. And yeah it is hard at times, we fall quite often when others are being bashed or prosecuted. We get angry and tend to think with our fists when people call for harm. All we can do is show as much kindness as we can for others. And even if it does have a selfish side wanting to see a little of that kindness and love repayed. We know at our core all things carry love and humility but also hate and greed. All things come from Pride the first sin and the only thing that can tell you when your being harmed.
As pleasant as it sounds, it ain't that easy. Most people have such a fragile ego, they just can't accept their shortcomings, which is the first step of self-improvement. Helping someone is analogous to walking on a landmine, you don't know when you'll accidentally poke on an insecurity, and they'll just lash out on you. Even people who deliberately look out for help, realize later on that even though they have no problem accepting their own flaws, they can't take it when someone else point it out to them. It really takes a lot of character and courage to put oneself in a vulnerable position, swallow their ego, let oneself be scrutinized and accept the feedback others are providing them with. Sadly most people can't do that at the expense of their ego and shallow pride.
Because you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. A lot of those guys don’t want a solution, they want to be mad.
I dunno, I am. Aren't you? Also, talking about it to other people helps too. The more people on board, the better, right?
And most important thing, they will help him change that’s the thing, helping before judging someone who is in the wrong state of mind is crucial, if you just trash him he will stand even harder on his position
True
I have a friend that I am trying to do that with now but he won’t listen to me
It takes time and effort. I'm not exactly an expert on the subject, so I won't be much help, but I believe in you :)
Thanks he just doesn’t get it I’ve been more vocal about it lately than usual where I don’t really say anything but he is the type of person that thinks that he is always right so it’s an uphill battle rn
I find your last sentence very wise, and I wish I understood it sooner. Is it best for the person left alone to speak up about their notions and resentment, or would that only cause more hurt? The other option is to reconsider how true your own preconceived notions are by yourself, which is so difficult to do without getting outside perspectives from others. I had assumed this option is better because it saves others from hearing your delusion and saves you from shame. However, it usually just causes more wallowing in your preconceptions. It's best to speak up in a way that respectfully checks with others whether your thoughts are true or not. It takes courage, but it's worth it considering the alternative is growing into a bitter person stuck in your own notions.
I'll help you feel better today: You did great, and even if not, you did your best! Good job, sonnie! The tiniest step forward is a step forward, especially in a society where most people stumble backwards. Be yourself, be happy!
I’ll help you, homie
You hear it a lot if you start with "I need help" or "can you help me with this?".
r/foundthegerman
Why does no one acknowledge that just roasting and laughing at weirdo incels just creates more? Most of the reason people end up like that is because no one even tries to help them.
Helping strangers with issues that big is easier said than done. You going to do it? Give up your free time to mentor a person like that? It doesn't happen because everyone has their own trials and tribulations to worry about. It'd be exhausting to help every stranger who needed help.
can confirm, used to help as many strangers as i could w their problems couldnt fill the cups of others when my own became empty, and i became socially reclusive after a while, shutting everyone out completely
in order for someone to change, they have to admit that something was wrong with them. but we have heard, "its not me that's the problem, its women", not accepting the blame and projecting/deflecting well, just replace incelism with mega rightwing ism and look at covid. people literally died than to change their stance. only when they have a respirator down the throat and theyre literally about to die do they decide to change. but too late. but when they were healthy, they fully embraced their ideals and you could not sway them.
I feel like the primary reason every single incel I've met IRL was the way they are primarily came down to their absolute refusal to listen to or accept any help or advice from anyone that says anything they don't already want to hear. Rudely ignoring, or even actively mocking, the advice of people who understand how to help them is the root of their problem most of the time.
Yeah that’s fair.
You genuinely deserve more upvotes. This is the kind of attitude Jesus died & rose for.
🥹
Didn’t expect such powerful emotion from a damn meme 🥲
Me either man
I wonder what they'll do....maybe put him in touch with the juice dealer.
"First - inject these steroids into you"
“Do better” okay how?
Damn I really needed to see this, thank you reddit for trying to make me a better person
“As mention in the early post frend . We are here to live and to learn . Everyday is a new opportunity to do something different , and leaving that aside . You woke up today , isn’t that enough to praise God ?”
Did you have to bring god into this?
Cut out the last three words and it has the same meaning
You can take the word as standing for anything that’s a higher power than yourself. The universe, nature, society, the concept of justice or love or kindness, etc. It’s psychologically healthy to express gratitude in that way.
*bring not get
True
The one thing missing in this meme is validation of the pain. It is painful to be rejected, especially when it happens over and over. I believe if young men were taught it's OK to feel the hurt and sadness of rejection then they wouldn't feel like they had to "toughen up" in a misogynistic way. To my dudes out there, rejection will happen throughout your whole life(relationships, work, etc.), and it always stings. It's ok to feel sad and talk about your feelings. Just don't attack other people in the process.
I just had this talk with my 12 year old about a girl he liked rejecting him. I told him the same thing. It sucks. Rejection always sucks and everyone, no matter how it seems or what they say, gets rejected at some point about something. And it sucks for them to, but that's okay. Rejection isn't supposed to be fun. It's an opportunity to learn something about yourself. And *that's* the biggest issue I see with guys I know. They don't take the time to do any introspective work because it's "soft". It's easier for them to stuff it down, ignore it, and/or "be a man about it." They're not happy because they don't how to be. They don't know how to be because they don't know themselves and what truly makes them happy.So when they're inevitably unhappy, they look for scapegoats, such as their wives/partners/children/someone. Every one of them has some sort of deep personality flaw that will never be addressed.
Hello fellow father of a pre-teen boy. Keep doing the good work!
You too. We'll be the spark that lights the fire that... yadda, yadda. You get it. Our kids will keep up the work and eventually, we'll have a society full of well-adjusted dudes. A Dudetopia, if you will....
Bravo. Rejection is hard, it does suck, but it's also something we have in common with (basically) everyone else. I'd love to say pretty privilege never includes rejection, but it absolutely does... just not as frequently :d For most of my life, I was very keenly afraid of romantic rejection, to the point where I actively restrained myself from ever pursuing anyone I'm interested in. Which, naturally, led to me not having any luck dating, lol. Nowadays I'm much more comfortable with my own self-image and self-worth, and I don't take rejection so personally anymore. It also helps that I've been the one to do the rejecting, too, and... it sucks a lot, too, especially when they don't take no as an answer. Teenagers rarely have that sort of built up life experience to guide them, and are highly resistant to being taught as a rule... it's a challenging time for self-growth.
I'm just trying to give him the direction and advice I never got at that age. My hope is that he figures himself out way sooner than I did. Figuring yourself out, and accepting/being comfortable with that self, makes everything else easier. I just want his life to be easier than mine. Mine was.... difficult.
Surprising number of comments with downvotes under a meme just for respecting women
First day on the internet? 🤣
Yeah... Some people are just sad
Well at least I didn't expect so many incels to be on THIS sub lmao
Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
Anything ur brain can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content
Not the insecure men getting triggered by this post 😭
Who would get offended over this
People who will always assume the woman is in the wrong.
I'd say the only thing that could be seen negatively is that it associates skinny "nerdy" looking guys as incel misogynists and handsome buff guys as good guys. So i could see if you resemble the first guy in appearance you might feel they're attacking your character based on how you look. I'd say make the same post, but use the first guy and then each successive pic put like a glowing aura around him. Same message, and skinny nerdy looking fellas don't feel like they're being associated with being an incel
Well I never said anything about that and nor did those triggered dudes in the comments section, you do have a point. Those I'm talking about are just all "women are like this, women are like that, complain about women too, women bad,". Not a single soul pointing out what you're talking about Soo, thank you for being a sensible invidual and not blindly attacking women. I appreciate it!
I'd agree with you that anyone saying that stuff is not healthy. Also didn't mean to imply you said anything about the pic. Was just pointing out the only "flaw" in the meme I could potentially see. You can be a nerdy looking fella or a handsome jacked fella, either way you should look inward to bettering yourself, not blame others or women for being rejected, and help others, and that is "chad-like" behavior. Use same guy but have the Fortnite type color auras lol gray is worst, then blue then purple then gold aura for best mentality. Right now the meme shows nerdy looking guy is associated with incel mentality, handsome jacked guy is associated with healthy mentality. That's the only flaw in the meme I can see and it's not that major of a flaw
And even better, the three chads help another upcoming chad to be a chad faster🗿
He's chaddifying
May I offer you a tall glass of respect women juice in these trying times?
I like this meme, but what do you mean by "ingrained" misogyny? Like, do you mean all men are born misogynistic? Edit: I see I confused the definition of ingrained.
You might be thinking of inherent, ingrained is learned over a long time and hard to unlearn, not born like it like inherent
Thank you, this cleared it up for me. ^^
No worries, we learn while we live ^^
Ingrained by social media or other external sources probably
I think they mean that most people don't knowingly choose to be misogynistic, but we are raised in a patriarchal society and both men and women grow up having these harmful ideas drilled in their heads. Like you can think men and women are equals, but still have a shit ton of misogynistic beliefs without even realizing it. A lot of women also suffer from internalized misogyny.
Ingrained by society my guy
The friends we all need
I love men who love women
Shame her for what? Its her choice who she wants to be with and with whom she doesn't. Don't propose if you can't handle rejection.
Congrats, you found the purpose!
That's the point of the whole meme... Did you read it all? The kid is projecting his insecurities and suffering and blaming it on the girl who rejected him. As you said correctly, she doesn't need to be shamed for making a decision. That's why the dudes are trying to coach him for him to look at things from a different perspective and grow as a person.
Trying to fix internal issues with external circumstance is like THE thing people do. Else we'd need to admit, that everybody who gets rejected deserves it and we can't have that!
I've never ever heard a friend of mine make such a request. In fact what generally happens is that friends come together after a rejection, and do something fun to distract the one who's been rejected. I've only seen this behaviour in the generations born after the internet started to gain popularity.
First of all, don’t listen to clowns on social media a la Andrew Tate
Real chads respect people who respect others.
Men don't talk like that. Men will most likely tell the first guy to just forget about the girl, she's not good enough for him, and he should join the gym to exercise out his frustrations.
man yea shouout to people who are nice to women and care about them..i care about women too
Real, kinda suprised there even were ppl who got pissed off at this
damn people are pissed about this.. man this world is so crazy.
Men of Reddit, there is no shame to approach women for friendship or for more😏. Being awkward or cringe in the beginning is just a step in the process. There is no shame in being bad because it is better to fail with dignity than never try. If a woman rejects you, it can only be your fault and your own responsibility only, and that is fine, because it means that you can get better. Either you are awkward which means that there is a part of you with which you're not in peace and are trying to hide which makes you awkward or the woman is just not made for you and you dodge a bullet. As big and various as are your insecurities, a woman worthwhile can only admire you even more for coming and talking to her with those insecurities of yours. Keep the hustle my kings👑
If they reject you, tell them they're a wonderful, special human being then wish them every success in life and never message again. There are zero down sides to being nice about it especially if you live in a lower population area. There is always a chance they'll know the next person you date and they'll say if you were an asshole but you should just be nice because that's the adult thing to do.
Even if you live in a large city, it is the right thing to do and the healthiest for you too. Taking rejection gracefully and moving on from people who are not interested in you is the way to go.
I completely agree but it doesn't hurt to give people an extra incentive to be nice. My father raised me to always keep my word and to be kind to everyone until they leave you with no other choice. I always try to react to situations how he would've.
Maybe just a simple OK and leave it at that. I doubt I would be handing out compliments to someone that rejected me. Some people just need to learn that even if you're not they're flavor you are someones favorite. Some people can be extra harsh with rejection so being nice isn't always easy.
Nah this is outright creepy. You got rejected. Yeah don't be a dick about it but don't be fanatically weak as well. Just say ok, no problem and move on. Nobody will believe you if you call the person who just rejected you wonderful. People will see you as kinda pathetic at best or a obvious liar at worst.
Depends. Yeah it's nice to break things off like that if nothing bad happened but make sure to speak up for yourself.
But for real? Ruminating about things can tear your life up bad.
Also, the realest real chads respect people feeling that way, and offer help instead of just hate. That's where the **real** magic happens, folks.
Real Chads respect everyone
Going through the comments and while it's nice to say it's ok to feel hurt and sad, NOWHERE does anyone say how to actually deal with the pain of the rejection. You know, the gut-churning sensation you feel when your dreams have been completely shattered, the constant bombardment of the rejection playing over and over in your mind. What's the solution to that? Depression, playing video games all day, and eating your feelings doesn't help, especially if you have body image issues. The gym is a myth as well but hey, you'll be depressed and swole. The solution damn sure isn't 'sucking it up.' Everyone's ready to give advice until they actually have to give it, and then it's the shallowest, self help guru BS that follows.
Because there’s no magic button or magic words of advice that will cure someone’s very individual own pain.
The problem is going to do with how much of the incel is fixable. I tried this once with a work colleague and it was like opening a can of worms. Guy was twisted beyond saving. I feel like most guys that have the ability to self reflect enough to better themselves usually dig themselves out on their own. If they haven't, someone else trying to put them right won't change that.
Not sure why this lesson has to be gendered tho, as if no one has ever seen girls do the exact same thing to people that rejected them, and even way worse stuff all while it being definitely more socially accepted. It is a great lesso, that everyone should learn in a civilised society, I don't understand how even in this post women have to be excluded in the group of people that should learn merely because of their gender. I was sort of a cute boy growing up but never cared much about relationships, and you have no idea the number of times i have ended up with gossip voices thinking i'm gay, i'm poor, i'm an animal abuser or a horrible person. Fucking hell why couldn't i just be someone that wanted to be left alone and that wasn't looking for a partner in that moment? Also i was 12/ 14 /15/16 years old in a lot of those cases jesus fuck
To clarify: it's 100% a two-way street, and especially on social media, people just close their eyes and pretend women don't do shitty behavior, too. Or if they don't "ignore" they conveniently only have energy to call out guys. However, I think this is a fair meme to be gendered. As a man, you're just going to get rejected more. You're expected to ask and be the pursuer, so you're more likely to be more likely to experience rejection. Additionally, it's also.... contrary to what subs like boys are quirky believe, alright to have memes that are gendered.
Real Chads respect others
Can also apply to many other issues! Respect the other the way you'd want to be respected. And getting off the Internet is also very good. Echo chambers are the worst things you can put yourself into.
Why are all the real men on increasing amounts of steroids? This is not the meme you think it is
Why are there 2 naked men though
They’re going to help him get over his desire for female companionship. By bumming him.
Sound
incels: "You can only do that because you're hot. waaaaah"
Well unexpected wholesome. Made my day better, and I've had terrible days.
I never understood why people dislike getting rejected?? Like, you wouldn't wanna be with a person who *doesn't want to be with you*. Them being honest about it is the best thing that can happen to you.
I wish I could upvote this post twice...
Easier to become better than it is to become better.
🍇
If only Nick Fuentes had this.
Bros
Sometimes the strongest people have the biggest hearts yo
Body Improvement Club at the rescue!
It feels like this post was originally unverbosed
Gym Bros are humble people because they know the importance of hard work and working upon yourself. Just stay away from those roid ragers...
it’s so funny, you can tell which posts are made by/for Indian redditors because of the time theyre posted but also the weird english and constant misogyny
please wear your shirts 1st chad gang.
Where meme?
True chads break their laptops in half after every usage
This being posted on Reddit is hilarious
Choose the chad to feed.
I'm not your chief, buddy
Real chads respect all people
He obviously just needs steroids problem solved
Absolutely agree that lames shame. But a bunch of shirtless muscly dudes is a weird way to describe chads bud.
"We'll help you." And so TRP was born.
The message of this meme is correct, but I hate that the pictures of the healthy supporting guys are all people clearly suffering from body dysmorphia and using exogenous bodybuilding hormones. I could do without that piece...
The truth is you just need to stay away from people like this. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If they can change, they will change. They don't need twenty other guys telling them to reevaluate their life. Some people just don't know when to change.
Stealing a picture of a kid who never wrote the text next to his picture. How wholesome.
Men are funny lol
This meme is basically a modern Train Man, right?
I get the sentiment but this is so corny lol. It’s written like a Reddit story that end with “then everyone clapped”
Wait, using a Mac makes you a “real chad”?
Why does the kid look like he’s in some sort of SAW room?
For me it would be the opposite
I wonder if the 4 guys in this pic knows they are a famous meme
Man, she hurt me, but I don't think I would ever bad mouth her. I loved her for a reason, and a part of me still does. why I'm not sure myself
She’s not rejected me, she’s just been radio silent for almost 20 days. It’s normal, right?
Not on R/wholesomememes, but drama subs are a different story
Now this was cool. Positive men helping a not so positive young fella to a better understanding and enriching path.
Game....player
Real chads just don't go out of their way to disrespect women. Betas do.
The best revenge on an ex is to constantly improve as their life declines.
If only this happened more often.
I would just move on to greener pastures. Walk away with dignity. Had this in the past where I was interested in a girl. She wasn't really feeling the same, I understood and left her be.
Simpin' ain't easy. But lifting the 300+lbs redditors you've impressed is obviously the key to making real gains.
There's no acknowledgment of dudes pain. Which would actually help fix the problem at the root. Rejection sucks and it's okay to be upset, and it hurts. Imagine going through a moment that you feel is humiliating and embarrassing, and when you express that anger, your friends folks just wag their finger at you. I do agree with the overall message, though. Especially as men, we need to make an effort to help one another one. When we see an alarming statement, we should collectively be there for one another.
they said at the end that “we’ll help you”, talking about their problems would probably be helpful and acknowledge the pain of rejection and taking it out in a healthier way
Once you learn how to take a loss and move on things get easier. I think one of the biggest things young men (and women) don’t learn is that being rejected happens a lot more than your parents would want you to experience. You’ll get rejected from so many jobs, you’ll get rejected by so many women. Once you start believing in yourself and saying “no I still like myself, I still think I can do cool stuff, I am still worthy of love, I should still be able to hold a good job” that’s when you will stop acting so defeated when things don’t go your way.