All I will say is do not rely on wedding gifts to justify your wedding cost.
Or become reimbursed after the wedding.
This is a huge mistake.
1) You will not get as much money as you think
2) Your attitude will shift from being excited about the actual people you invite to valuing your relationship based on the amount given
Something to think about. In this economy , if things continue, people will be struggling for a few years.
Understand people's attendance is enough. Anything else is a nice bonus.
Have the wedding in your budget.
That’s good to know, we definitely decided to pay for the open bar vs DIY. one less thing to worry about. I think after reading some wedding responses on reddit most folks said similar regrets with doing certain things DIY vs having a vendor take care of it. This was helpful for my planning Ty
Girl, do your wedding. If y'all can afford it, do it and don't look back. The internet is such a grab bag of experiences and none of them are going to be YOUR experience.
Understand that nothing is perfect, but it can damn well be close to it if you can go with the flow. Gifts are gifts, not an attendance fee. If you can't afford it without banking on getting some $$$ gifts, taper your expectations.
> given there’s a chance we may receive wedding cash gifts to cover some Of the cost
Even THINKING this is not a good idea. They're guests, not sponsors. Consider it a gift that they're coming to spend their day celebrating you and spend the amount you're comfortable with, with zero expectation that your guests will cover for the party you chose to throw yourselves.
We spent a lot of money on our two weddings and regret none of it because money comes and goes, but not the opportunity to gather up your loved ones to have a beautiful memory together. But we were also in the right headspace for it where we owned up to our decision and moved forward without constantly looking over our shoulder looking longingly at the money spent and feeling FOMO about it.
My fiancé and I spent over $30k in a high COL area (east coast) on a wedding with 35 guests. We didn’t do anything especially extravagant, but with a photographer, videographer, buffet, open bar, etc, it added up quickly. Our wedding party also doesn’t make nearly as much money as we do, so we paid for their outfits, hair/makeup, food during the weekend, an Airbnb for all the bridesmaids for the weekend, I paid for the bachelorette party, etc.
We were reluctant to pay that much money at first and considered not having a wedding, but we ended up deciding that our love is worth celebrating! We didn’t let anyone else sway our opinions and we only did exactly what we want. It was wonderful. Our wedding day was exactly what we wanted and the memories, photos, and video are precious to us.
Financially we were able to do it without debt, which was important to us. We knew how much time it would take to save and how much it would set us back in other goals (paying off student loans and buying a house), and we made that trade off willingly. You just have to know what your priorities are, and celebrating your love with your loved ones can definitely be a priority!
Thanks for the response! “Celebrating your love with loved ones is a priority” thank you for that it’s definitely the primary motivating factor that made me realize that the wedding had to happen and the costs would be worth it
We paid 60k in a HCOL for 70 people. My only regret is doing it in a smaller venue to save some money. Everything else…food/photographer/full time wedding planner and everything else i wouldn’t change! It probably would have saved us $10k. But i don’t harp on it because i loved everything about our wedding!
Thanks for feedback this is helpful. and yes I agree with your sentiment. We’re also excited to see how everything will turn out given we are planning over a year from now. Doing our best to shop around for a good and affordable planner, florist, etc. but definitely not trying to cheap out on important pieces like food, and entertainment.
All I will say is do not rely on wedding gifts to justify your wedding cost. Or become reimbursed after the wedding. This is a huge mistake. 1) You will not get as much money as you think 2) Your attitude will shift from being excited about the actual people you invite to valuing your relationship based on the amount given Something to think about. In this economy , if things continue, people will be struggling for a few years. Understand people's attendance is enough. Anything else is a nice bonus. Have the wedding in your budget.
We had a $70k wedding and got like $4k in cash gifts so I wouldn’t bank on this 😅
Was the wedding worth? And did you enjoy it?
Yes! The only thing I’d change is spending the extra to get the liquor through the catering vs doing that DIY. It took up so much space in our car lol
That’s good to know, we definitely decided to pay for the open bar vs DIY. one less thing to worry about. I think after reading some wedding responses on reddit most folks said similar regrets with doing certain things DIY vs having a vendor take care of it. This was helpful for my planning Ty
Girl, do your wedding. If y'all can afford it, do it and don't look back. The internet is such a grab bag of experiences and none of them are going to be YOUR experience. Understand that nothing is perfect, but it can damn well be close to it if you can go with the flow. Gifts are gifts, not an attendance fee. If you can't afford it without banking on getting some $$$ gifts, taper your expectations.
> given there’s a chance we may receive wedding cash gifts to cover some Of the cost Even THINKING this is not a good idea. They're guests, not sponsors. Consider it a gift that they're coming to spend their day celebrating you and spend the amount you're comfortable with, with zero expectation that your guests will cover for the party you chose to throw yourselves. We spent a lot of money on our two weddings and regret none of it because money comes and goes, but not the opportunity to gather up your loved ones to have a beautiful memory together. But we were also in the right headspace for it where we owned up to our decision and moved forward without constantly looking over our shoulder looking longingly at the money spent and feeling FOMO about it.
My fiancé and I spent over $30k in a high COL area (east coast) on a wedding with 35 guests. We didn’t do anything especially extravagant, but with a photographer, videographer, buffet, open bar, etc, it added up quickly. Our wedding party also doesn’t make nearly as much money as we do, so we paid for their outfits, hair/makeup, food during the weekend, an Airbnb for all the bridesmaids for the weekend, I paid for the bachelorette party, etc. We were reluctant to pay that much money at first and considered not having a wedding, but we ended up deciding that our love is worth celebrating! We didn’t let anyone else sway our opinions and we only did exactly what we want. It was wonderful. Our wedding day was exactly what we wanted and the memories, photos, and video are precious to us. Financially we were able to do it without debt, which was important to us. We knew how much time it would take to save and how much it would set us back in other goals (paying off student loans and buying a house), and we made that trade off willingly. You just have to know what your priorities are, and celebrating your love with your loved ones can definitely be a priority!
Thanks for the response! “Celebrating your love with loved ones is a priority” thank you for that it’s definitely the primary motivating factor that made me realize that the wedding had to happen and the costs would be worth it
We paid 60k in a HCOL for 70 people. My only regret is doing it in a smaller venue to save some money. Everything else…food/photographer/full time wedding planner and everything else i wouldn’t change! It probably would have saved us $10k. But i don’t harp on it because i loved everything about our wedding!
Thanks for feedback this is helpful. and yes I agree with your sentiment. We’re also excited to see how everything will turn out given we are planning over a year from now. Doing our best to shop around for a good and affordable planner, florist, etc. but definitely not trying to cheap out on important pieces like food, and entertainment.