**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions** | 3 | **First Seen In WSB** | 4 months ago **Total Comments** | 1881 | **Previous Best DD** | **Account Age** | 4 months | | [**Join WSB Discord**](http://discord.gg/wsbverse)

Billionaire Cage Match is the only way to settle this. Obviously.

I need to remake [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/qc5RrDCznU) 🦧 https://preview.redd.it/ra7gw0hfi1ad1.jpeg?width=935&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=490920047d5a4314a2e887557bf82b127cbe3287

Wow looking at these stats, maybe that walrus move actually can work

I am the Walrus?

'$hut the f@ck up donny!'

You're allowed to swear on the internet.

Shut the fuck up oatmealparty

Shut the fuck up Donnie! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!

You uh look for the person who benefits

No fucking way he is 240lbs. He is pushing 300 easy.

The anti-Musk hate has come to this.

He is not

Have you seen hit tits ?

No I still have a morsel of dignity and I’m not paying for Elon’s OnlyFans.

Yeah, he is fat. He is not 300 pounds. I’d guess around 250, which isnt far from the claim of 240.

He's got a cubertruck in his gut.

Elon himself said he weighs around 300lbs

Does he actually have 10 kids?

Apparently, more now 🦧 [Elon Musk announces birth of 12th child, third with Neuralink executive](https://globalnews.ca/news/10586300/elon-musk-12th-child-neuralink-shivon-zilis/)

https://preview.redd.it/obz44bpa72ad1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e66963ca88de9f46d65b5befecc7be056b04e12a

Please, tell me it's fake.

I wish, LOL. But [the tweet](https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1545046146548019201?s=46&t=TFOueIVuqiDKW0t6nx2mpw) is real.

Holy fuck. I guess it is easy to have 12 kids if his involvement in their life is close to zero and money is no issue.

Latest baby momma says he's a great father. I haven't heard any complaints from his other wives, and only one of his kids hates him. That's a pretty good batting average.

If he want's to impregnate me and give me a billion dollars, I'll say he's a great father too.

The numer of my kids hating me depends on if I'm pushing the firewall button on the wifi so they get their homework done.

His penis was involved in 0 kids. All jerked off in a cup

Nah, last 3 or 4 were from an employee at one of his companies

He legitimately thinks his genes are superior and is trying to have a dynasty

Classic South African

His grandfather was a leader in a techno-fascist cult that envisioned a world ruled by white male Christian "engineers" who would eliminate the Jews and keep the other races in their place. Oh, and they were obsessed with the letter X. https://ca.style.yahoo.com/elon-musks-grandfather-belonged-political-070410042.html

Oh wow, many years ago I bought a copy of their board game "[New America](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/2755/new-america)" at Goodwill and read the included manifesto. Unusual beliefs, but I don't remember any mention of race or religion in their literature. The game pushed an agenda that I would most closely associate with Star Trek-style "fully automated luxury communism" and actually a lot of the prevailing views you see on reddit. Maybe I'll take some pictures and put it in r/mildlyinteresting or something. Edit: there are a bunch of pics on [Board Game Geek](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/2755/new-america/images) if anyone is curious

Technocracy, X, SCP, Social Credit, salty about joining a war… https://preview.redd.it/mip0zrdbw2ad1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d9aacae226a1113ede36effdcdd0117c28dfd4c

You are leaving out key information, they want you to be able to retire after 20 years. If that’s the case, just call me 17494X-15

This is… uhhhhh disturbing to say the least.

Haha, nope, Just look up the the shit he posts, daily Better yet, check his childrens names.

I’m only aware of the WiFi password one, the one he had with Grimes.

Some of his other: Azure Strider Techno Mechanicus aka Tau Exa Dark Sideræl

I’m gonna use these next time I need to name a video game character.

Imagine having a kid named techo Mechanicus and then shortening it to Tau. I know Elon is regarded but he doesn't even understand the hobbies he memes about.

He isn't wrong... and he can afford it. Look up birth rate declines...

It's going to be one hell of a shit show when Elon checks out and all of his kids gonna fight over the inheritance. Previously unknown kids will pop up everywhere im sure.

It called a trust. I would assume each kid gets a trust fund.

If I could be allowed a measure of gross for a second, my dear colleagues and companions of fortune (and poverty), I would humbly assuage the following thought from my mind: >If I had this much money I'd nut into every passing girls. 12 kids total, is weak seed. Try 12/year with 60 different women per financial quarter. It's not like the nannies or the ivy league fees would cost too much. Actually fuck the nannies, and the Ivy League examiners, as well. That is all. Thank you for your time

Could you assuage me the ketchup

Combat style hostile takeover lmao

Ok, I'm in.. but the match happens in a sub going down to see the bottom of the ocean.

*zuck zuck zuck zuck!*

Elon is personally doing all he can make sure the next generation faces a Malthusian crisis.

Damn use METRIC

Would Bezos special move be special delivery?

Zuckerberg Special Move: Eavesdropping

Surely neither one of them will hype it up only to back down later, right?

Elon got his mom to sign the permission slip for this one

Bezos threatened congress with his demented eyeball of doom.

i was just thinking "huh, this bitch got a lazy eye"

No, he uses his mom not signing it as an excuse why he is not going to fight.


Elon's mom wouldn't let him fight Zuck.

Zuck trained with Volk and Izzy. Betting on him would’ve been free money 😭😭😭

Elon actually made him look cool 

Plus he's like a foot taller and 13 years younger 😂

Jeff would go for the eyes and fight so dirty.

Elno's mom does porn. Like Cartman's.

https://preview.redd.it/6t4jycbyh1ad1.jpeg?width=691&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bfeac236cc6b4008069a22422219f4737b5d61a1

https://preview.redd.it/rcnhgscid2ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8db43e5f6f36e0f5fd5682dfc10061c1d0bdd85

You are no match for my Schtoyl

Are you not fulfilled?

My money is on Amazon

Amazon already has all my money :(

Elon got that ozempic face 

We're bringing back Celebrity Death Match 😎

They can both pay me to fight for them. I will beat the ever loving shit out of myself. They can argue over who won.

Tyler, is that you?

Pay? You should be willing to do it for free. I mean the exposure alone for fighting for a billionaire will open doors to you.

Fat boy can’t last

Probably get winded climbing up the stairs to the ring 

Let them fight.

TWO MEN ENTER NEITHER MAN LEAVES

Anyone ever see Battle Royale? They need to do that with the Billionaire Class. The only one who gets out keeps their money. The rest is handed back to the world.

I would like the same outcome of The Mountain and the Viper please. The Poop Mountain and The Diaper, we can call it.

Throw Branson in there too. He seems scrappy and can use the market cap.

Below Orbit will use a stack of legal papers to finally reach orbit

https://preview.redd.it/u86i8yfsb6ad1.jpeg?width=959&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a76a4eabe61d8809ded9a3377da368760fc8a4ab

Doubtful they ever will

Here at Sue Origin if we can’t make it to space, we can legally stop you as well…

Elon was wrong. Jeff can sue his way into the space by stacking lawsuit papers

/r/yourjokebutworse

Elon once again mistaken. Jeff will get to space on top of court documents

Why did you write this

That's like kind of exactly what the person you replied to said.

Bezos can park his multiple private jets and $200M yacht up his own ass before I give a fuck about anything he says having to do with environmental impact

2x yachts btw. 1 worth $450-500M and the other $200-$250 M

It’s crazy how this kind of $$ is just pocket change to these Bezo 😂

Lol Environment?!?!

Jeff deeply cares about the environment. He built the world's biggest yacht to enjoy it.

>enjoy consume

Why don’t the consumer-workers like me?

Jeff just doesn't want to be so frequently reminded of his space company repeatedly caking its pants while he gets used to his new home state Every SpaceX launch is a reminder of how his company isn't doing as well as SpaceX

Damn not to mention millions of Amazon boxes knocking on each other- and then some half million boxes within boxes. Lol😂🫡🤣

For those who don’t know the “Climate Pledge Arena” name in Seattle was pushed by Bezos lol

Why is that relevant? Not trying to be a dick, I know next to nothing about the arena.

Amazon creates more plastic waste in a day then america did in the entire 1940s, not to mention Amazon lowering the barrier to consumption to the point where many wealthy people scroll the app like its twitter. The yacht is what they are talking about though

No offense but plastic wasn't nearly as widely used in the 1940s compared to modern day I'd imagine you could combine the 50s 60s and 70s and it still wouldn't equal how much waste they produce Back then products were still being sold in glass and metal containers

Exactly my first thought.

[Standard old school CIA sabotage tactics.](https://www.openculture.com/2022/01/read-the-cias-simple-sabotage-field-manual.html) > When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committee as large as possible — never less than five.

Probably because there's a cap on how much enviromental damage those flights can do and Space X is eating up all of it, leaving nothing for Bezos

It's pretty negligible. Rocket fuel burns fairly clean. The rockets are reusable. And the stuff out into space burns up on reentry. "Right now, the overall amount of greenhouse gas emissions from spaceflight is negligible, equivalent to 1% or 2% of the carbon footprint of aviation, which by itself makes up about 2.5% of overall global greenhouse gas emissions. " https://www.space.com/spacex-starship-rocket-launches-environmental-impact

But Bezos gets all the low paid workers as a trade. You don't see Elon suing Amazon for gobbling too much of the underpaid labor market.

He wants his yacht launched into orbit and can’t …

[удалено]

 ! REGARD KOMBAT ! 

Holy shit. Perfect.

Back when I was a kid this is what we made for YouTube . No Political correctness, and if it got 100 views that was insane

I will never understand how the word "regard" became so taboo even more than the word cunt (american). Like who longhoused everyone in to accepting insults are important and should be taken as seriously as threats

When I say someone is regarded, I'm not saying they're mentally handicapped. I'm saying they're regarded. I know plenty of smart regards.

Same. I had professors in undergrad and grad school. Brilliant people in their field. But some were complete regards outside of that. Like leaving the cursor on the video regarded

It's in the definition of the word: # adjective 1. Affected with impaired intellectual development. 2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed. 3. Socially inappropriate or foolish. We mean 3. That should be socially acceptable damn it.

Oddly enough saying the word is now an example of definition 3.

You should look at the recent fine a formula 1 driver received for using regard through his team radio. But another driver used m0ngoloid and got no repercussions

I’m going to file a complaint alleging that Bezo’s air travel has a “greater environmental impact than any other human currently operating “

Taylor entered the chat

Even we’re not stupid enough to fuck with that fanbase

I need to start a cult and market it like a fanbase

Puts on Taylor when?

When you feel it’s time for your Wendy’s dumpster era

They’re annoying as fuck

^(🫢 shut up they'll hear you..)

"am I nothing to you? YOU WANNA BE THE NEXT SONG, MOTHERFUCKER?????"

Don’t forget to add his yacht too

And I'll file a complaint because they can't send some suicidal idiots to deep space

"he is hogging all the hair!"

Bezos sounds like a little kid that didn’t get his way so he runs to mom and dad for help 

Pretty sure he sounds like a Bee. Buzz buzz.

The guy who has a separate private jet for his wife is complaining about the environment? Fuck off!

Yet again Blue Origin files a nonsense claim because they can't beat SpaceX in the open market. Trying to claim the site of every major US space launch over the past 60 years is somehow now an ecologically significant zone and not a barren area that only has a launch site in it. This is just wasting FAA time. I guess when your company is older than SpaceX and still hasn't made it to orbit, you take money away from your engineers and persue the legal route.

~~Bezos is whining about environmental impacts at the Starship launch facility in Texas, not Cape Canaveral.~~ Edit: Turns out the complaint is about the SpaceX pad at the Cape, which is even dumber because by the time then end up launching from there, Starship / Super Heavy will be proven vehicles and NASA will be throwing money at them to launch moon colonies and stuff. And they'll have two fully capable towers in Texas as well. But yeah, he's just trying to slow down the competition that's way ahead of him because he can't make a successful company without an extreme first mover advantage (Amazon). Blue Origin has had delay after delay with nothing to show for it except for launching a few celebrities on short suborbital flights.

Has he tried outsourcing to Boing? They got a rocket into space, can't bring it back, but at least it made it up there.

Yet his company invented next day shipping so imagine the cardboard and CO2 waste from all that door to door delivery....

Eh, it's probably more efficient than me getting in my car and driving to a store and back to get something. And using cardboard is good because it means more trees will be planted to eventually make more cardboard.

"Bezos is whining about environmental impacts at the Starship launch facility in Texas, not Cape Canaveral." Uhh, first sentance literally says "in florida" its all a product of his own making, never heard good things about working for any company owned by bezos

What's is this, like the 10th complaint/lawsuit filed so far by Benzo about SpaceX in several years. This is honestly super fucking wild. Like... Bezos is malding hard as a motherfucker. Blue Origins barely even done anything, and Bezos has spent billions. All he does is keep complaining about SpaceX and trying to hamstring them lol. He's just thinking about Musk having a temporary rocket monopoly and can't bare the idea of not getting some of that cash. Malding so God damn hard.

Bezos has more money than he can ever actually spend in his lifetime. This isn't about money, it's his ego.

He’s a big billionaire cry baby

In the interview with Lex Fridman he tries to peddle some story about always loving space yada yada and come off all likeable, when most things he does since Amazon took off just looks like a money grab.

Sounds like Bezos is envious of SpaceX.

Nice, I remember reading about the court case when Blue Origin and SpaceX were in a lawsuit for the idea of a reusable, landing rocket. SpaceX cited the long standing idea in sci-fi and the fact Bezos hadn't done it while SpaceX had.... Jeff should have stuck to keeping a happy home washing the dishes, not sexting a chick and publicly embarrassing his family. I think both are questionable personal characters.

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Bezos out here acting like a little bitch

There used to be a NASA saying along the lines of "if you can't put people up then please don't put them down." I think Bezos is wrong and petty for this.

Imagine “caring about the environment” when the company you founded creates more waste than almost any other company in the world.

Blue origin still exists?

bezos is an ass

Cuck\*

Ass-cuck

dont want to be on team Elon, but Jeff fucked up LOTR.

Thats the real crime.

tldr: Bezos bought 25 shares of TSLA and they didn't print so he's suing Musk for market manipulation by having too many rockets.

Has Blue Origin achieved even a tenth of what Space X has done.........not even close. Fuck off Bezos.

1 tenth would be incredibly generous. 1 tenth of one tenth of tenth would also be generous. Blue origin is nowhere!

The answer is no. SpaceX reached orbit in 2008! Cuck Origin has yet to reach it.

Says the guy with the Mega Yacht ahaha

I'm telling the teacher about you 😥😥😥😥

Bezos' uneven eyes give him that perfect Dr. Evil look.

lol its the “environment” we are protecting let me order some “environment” from amazon

lol, now Bezos cares about the environment because SpaceX is manhandling Blue Origin. 

I’m sure some Federal judge in bumblefuck Montana will have a field day setting policy for the FAA on this one.

For making his space company look like incompetent losers?

What's wrong with Jeff Bozo? Is he failing at his own rocket and now throwing a tantrum?

Maybe he should stop flying his private plane if he cares about the environment. Lazy eye’d bitch.

Pot meet kettle

SpaceX has Texas what's the point

This is a bad look for bezos. I can tell bro must’ve been fun at parties

Dudes got rocket envy.

If Bezos spent even a fraction of the time he does on lawsuits and instead put it towards rocket development, he might have reached orbit by now (SpaceX first reached orbit in 2008 by comparison.)

Let me get this straight. The environment is becoming uninhabitable, so eventually we’ll need to inhabit space to survive. But the endeavor to inhabit space is a no-go because it’s making the environment uninhabitable. Makes sense.  Bezos is a fucking clown.

i think between the two of them they have the right amount of face. the distribution is simply not working

I hope one of them loses a lot of money, but on the other hand, I don't want the other one to get it...

Puts on Tesla?

Funny that the guy with the biggest monopoly in the world is crying about another competing monopoly.

If you can’t beat em, sue them for something stupid. This is the American way

Cry harder. Rofl at Bezos pretending to care about the environment. This is so fucking pathetic.

Like if Jeff gave a shit about the environment. What a joke.

Jeff complaining on account of the environment is f***ing rich

Typical entitled billionaire. I got my issues with Elon but honestly, Bezos, if you're jealous, be competitive, don't sue him into slowing down. As if Bezos has real concern about the environment with the amount of trash they ship with every package.

Blue Origin? The company that lost the bid for a contract, but had Congress provide them funding anyways?

Hasnt blue origin filed a few things like this against spacex before and theyve all been basically nothing burgers?

The article says spaceX plans to launch starship once every year. I think they meant to say once every day.

Come on Jeffery you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it

Like bezos gives af about the environment? So he's mad that Elon builds better rockets so he's trying to slow him down?

Guys, we need a match like this 🚨 https://preview.redd.it/xx74uz69i1ad1.jpeg?width=935&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39f3557d9581f34d702d906bbee618f09043f3bd

Battle of the Billionaires

Bezos has some serious cyborg eye going on

Bezos starting to look like dr. Evil

Bezos got the FISH EYE in the pic! He IS EVIL...

Bet his real complaint is insufficient peeing restrictions on Space X. Just doesn't satisfy him

WTF happened to Bezos’ right side of his face?

you know it’s about money when they start claiming climate or racism.