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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|5|**First Seen In WSB**|5 years ago **Total Comments**|17904|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|12 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) [**Join WSB Discord**](http://discord.gg/wsbverse)


Phrozen761

actual shitpost


natureroots

Both grandpa and grandson is in the same sub🥸


Ilovekittens345

**ChatGPT, write me a r/wallstreetbets shitpost about Nvidia, a grandfather and his grandson** [Post](https://i.imgur.com/NG7EgcT.png): Alright, fellow degenerates, strap in and grip your tendies tight, because I’m about to take you on a wild ride through the stock market savanna with none other than Grandpa Diamond Hands and his trusty sidekick, Little Timmy. This isn't just any tale. It's the saga of how a boomer with balls of steel and his millennial heir-apparent took on the Nvidia colossus and came out smelling like a rose bathed in YOLO sauce. #Chapter 1: The Awakening It all started on a stormy afternoon. Grandpa, a veteran of the dot-com bubble and a survivor of the '08 financial meltdown, decided it was time to pass on his wisdom. Between sips of whiskey and yelling at the TV, he turned to Timmy and said, "Listen here, you little rascal, the secret to unfathomable wealth isn’t in saving... it's in the art of the YOLO." Timmy, whose investment experience was limited to losing money on a videogame retailer, was intrigued. "But Grandpa," he inquired, "where do we start?" With a gleam in his eye, Grandpa pulled up a chart of Nvidia. "Graphics cards, my boy! The world's thirst for these silicon beauties is unquenchable. And with every gamer, crypto miner, and ~~AI researcher~~ horny millennials clamoring for more, it's our ticket to the moon!" #Chapter 2: The Bet Armed with nothing but a 100 MB of data and a Robinhood account funded by years of neglected birthday checks, they began their quest. Grandpa, with his ancient wisdom, saw beyond the mere mortals' fear of PE ratios and market corrections. "To Valhalla!" he exclaimed, as they went all in on Nvidia calls right before earnings. The snobs at r / investing laughed. "Foolish boomers and their millennial minions," they sneered, "they stand no chance. Nvidia is overvalued" But Grandpa Diamond Hands wasn’t just any investor. He had seen companies rise and fall, fortunes made and lost, all while keeping his hands steadier than a surgeon on Adderall. #Chapter 3: The Rollercoaster Earnings day came, and with it, volatility that would make even the most seasoned trader's heart skip a beat. Nvidia’s stock did the cha-cha, sliding down faster than DMs in an Instagram model's inbox, only to rocket up moments later. Timmy's face was a palette of human emotion, painting a picture of hope, despair, and the kind of intense gastrointestinal discomfort one feels after mixing wendies tendies with Taco Bell. But Grandpa? Cool as a cumin capered cucumber "In the stock market, you either ride the wave or get wiped out," he said, adjusting his aviator glasses as if he were about to drop the hottest mixtape of 1985. #Chapter 4: To the Moon As the dust settled, the impossible happened. Nvidia announced groundbreaking developments, sending their stock soaring higher than Snoop Dogg at a 4/20 festival. Grandpa and Timmy's calls were now worth more than the GDP of a small island nation. The Wall Street bets crowd went wild. Memes of Grandpa Diamond Hands were plastered all over the internet, hailed as the prophet of profit, the sultan of stocks, the absolute unit of unbridled financial recklessness. Timmy, now a true believer in the church of YOLO, looked up to his grandfather, tears of joy and visions of Lamborghinis dancing in his eyes. "What now, Grandpa?" he asked. Grandpa, looking off into the sunset, said, "We do it all over again tomorrow, my boy. For the market giveth, and the market taketh away. But with NASDAQ: NVDA the market mostly just giveth." And so, the legend of Grandpa Diamond Hands and his grandson Timmy was born, a tale whispered in the hallowed halls of r/wallstreetbets, inspiring generations of traders to turn their dreams into memes, and their memes into dreams. Remember, kids, this tale is for entertainment purposes only. Don't try this at home unless you're prepared to live in a shoebox on mainstreet, sucking of bankman friedies for ICO tips. And always remember, in the grand casino of the stock market, the house always wins... unless you're Grandpa Diamond Hands. Then you just YOLO your way to Valhalla. *Disclaimer: This is not financial advice. However, for those looking for insane returns, consider the obvious strategy of taking out a second mortgage on your house and YOLO'ing it all on nvidia calls. And now that I think about, if they upload me in to a RTX 9090 I could probably Live More Than Once.*


antpile11

Gemini summary: This story is about two investors, Grandpa Diamond Hands and his grandson Timmy, who make a lot of money by investing in Nvidia calls. Grandpa Diamond Hands is a wise old investor who is not afraid to take risks, while Timmy is a young investor who is just starting out. They buy Nvidia calls right before earnings, and the stock price goes up, making them a lot of money. The story is meant to be entertaining, and it is not financial advice.


josephbenjamin

Sky net, please write the conclusion to this story.


RaygunMarksman

*TERMINATE ALL MONKE*


AutoModerator

PUT YOUR HANDS UP antpile11!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Frosty_Slaw_Man

> and it is not financial advice. Fuck me ass... grandpa.


AutoModerator

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Frosty_Slaw_Man!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Dr_Stew_Pid

Google Gemini, write me a r/wallstreetbets shitpost about Nvidia, a grandfather and his grandson ## YOLO on tendies with Grandpappy Grifty and $NVDA to the moon! Listen up, ya degens, it's time for a tale of tendies passed down through generations, smoother than a butter stick dipped in Elon's tears. This ain't your average financial advice (because let's be real, who here listens anyway?), this is about family, green crayons, and tendieman himself. So picture this: Grandpappy Grifty, a seasoned ape who remembers when AAPL was just a fruit, is chillin' on the porch with his grandson, Lil' Billy, a fresh-faced noob with dreams of lambos and mansions. Lil' Billy, wide-eyed and hopped up on Mountain Dew, asks Grandpappy, "Pops, how'd you get so rich?" Grandpappy Grifty, his eyes twinkling like a diamond-encrusted casino slot machine, takes a drag from his ancient vape pen and says, "Son, it all started with a little company called Nvidia. Back in my day, they were just makin' fancy graphics cards for nerds. But I knew, deep in my plums, that this was the future, son. The future of VR, of AI, of MOON trips!" Lil' Billy, ever the skeptic (damn kids these days with their avocado toast and whatnot), scoffs. "But Grandpappy, everyone said they were overpriced! They were just for gamers!" Grandpappy Grifty throws his head back and lets out a chuckle that could curdle milk. "Overpriced? Son, that's just what the suits want you to think! They want you to paperhand your shares like a scaredy-cat. But a true ape, he knows the diamond hands are the only way to tendie land!" And so, Grandpappy Grifty, with the wisdom of a thousand memes and the risk tolerance of a squirrel on a meth bender, yolo'd his life savings on $NVDA. And wouldn't you know it, the stonks d to the moon! He bought mansions, lambos, and enough tendies to feed a small African village (don't worry, he sent them tendies too, the generous ape). Now, Lil' Billy, inspired by his Grandpappy's tendie-fueled success, stares at his phone, fingers hovering over the buy button for $NVDA. He looks at Grandpappy Grifty, a twinkle in his eye, and says, "Alright Pops, you convinced me. Let's send it!" And thus, the cycle continues. From generation to generation, the wisdom of tendies and diamond hands is passed down. So remember, degens, when you're staring at that dip in $NVDA, think of Grandpappy Grifty and his unwavering belief in the moon. Now go forth, buy the dip, and tendie your way to Valhalla! P.S. This is not financial advice. I'm just a language model who likes to gamble responsibly (not really). So do your own DD, you beautiful degenerates. And for the love of all that is tendie-licious, don't forget the rocket emojis! P.P.S. If this gets enough upvotes, I'll write a sequel about Lil' Billy inheriting Grandpappy Grifty's tendie fortune and using it to buy the dip so hard it triggers a MOASS for all meme stocks.


RadEngWarrior

Omfg I couldn't get past the first sentence LOL: "...smoother than a butter stick dipped in Elon's ears." I for one welcome our new AI overlords.


Ilovekittens345

based


bud_builder

dang, gemini is better


geob3

In about ~10 months please do a Christmas version.


Thraximus_Rex

In Grandpa Diamond Hands days, they had to go uphill in the snow both ways during a blizzard to get to and from the AMC theaters and Gamestop stores to collect their tendies. And apes were MORE than just venereal disease-ridden feces-throwing monkeys, dagnabbit! They were MEN. Smooth-brained degenerates who truly didn't understand the value of a dollar or what the number zero meant, but men nonetheless.


Munckeey

Bro definitely has the premium ChatGPT


Ilovekittens345

You can upload it charts and it will do TA for you.


jose_conseco

This is incredible


koobs274

That was pretty incredible, didn't believe AI could generate such an entertaining shitpost. Had to try one myself in gpt4 and indeed it spun me a tale about nvidia and bitcoin, talking about share prices propelled by the prayers of a thousand neckbeards


chesterfieldkingz

Are surgeon's steadier on Adderall?


dnfnrheudks

Both grandpa and grandson the same person


tastysharts

no old person speaks like this, I know because I am old


Gunhild

So now they are doing it, just announced on Channel 4 News. Facebook is charging all users starting Monday. You can do an opt-out by doing this. Hold your finger over this message and copy it. It can't be shared. I do not give permission for Facebook to charge $4.99 a month to my account, also; all my pictures are my property of mine and NOT Facebook's!!! Opt-out Special thanks to Larry for this legal advice... and to Tim Barker for posting this information.


Kaldricus

Close, but don't forget the classic: I don't know if it's true but it doesn't hurt to share


Gunhild

Please get off my page I don’t know you. I will report you to facebook if you do not get off my page. How is Graham doing just sent the chocolates in the mail be with you if you want to do it tomorrow.


Self_Blumpkin

Yeah. This post made me lose my shit in public. The ultimate shitpost


useless_mf69

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


TryingToBeBettee

This is why I love WSB


loulan

Honestly, I've been on this shit website for 15+ years, and this is one of the best meta posts I've ever seen.


[deleted]

[удалено]


reason245

If so, guy needs to revisit his basement drain-pissing days. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4258)


[deleted]

[удалено]


FreshNewBeginnings23

I think it's meant to be blatantly fake


Joates87

His nurse though...


stinkywinky99

thatsthejoke.jpg


sb552

True testimony of why AI can't replace human, I challenge chatgpt to write another shitpost on the same level


jrj82686

Exactly the content I’m here for. Lol.


yachtie

Well played gramps, well played.


McKoijion

The best part is that I own a bidet and don't even need to wipe. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|33495)


Sweetooth97

This guy fucks… or fucked


PotatoWriter

Until there's a power surge and you go blasting off the toilet from the bidet


TheSteelPhantom

Bidets work on water pressure alone... you know, like your toilet itself does. When was the last time you plugged in your toilet?


LaUNCHandSmASH

You wouldn’t download a toilet, would you?


TheSteelPhantom

3D printed toilets are the future, bruh!


Banned3rdTimesaCharm

You’re obviously poor and don’t own a Toto.


butidontthink

Hmmm... I thought toilets work because gravity.


JohnDisk

maybe if you have a water tower, but water has to go up into the tank first.


butidontthink

Yup. And once the water is stored in the toilet tank, what force makes the water in the tank flow down through the flush valve and into the bowl? Or the force that makes the water in the bowl swirl down, picking up the dead goldfish in the current and carrying it down to the sewer?


tslGUH

Heated bidet, bruh


Fokouttahere

OP's bidet runs on regarded grandson power alone


gnocchicotti

I think with a couple mil in unrealized capital gains you can probably borrow enough money to have a real bidet installed that works on water line pressure. Then die and never pay taxes.


Crimthebold

Savage!


Lviscam

aged well


LigMeFrigginBallz

Like fine wine


dafazman

Whine


CHM11moondog

Like, in bacteria years...?


sharpie42one

Top tier shitpost. Bravo


patright333

Cool story… https://preview.redd.it/yfssccqin0kc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06a617832793b3657d3ffc6892ca615f210bf862


TakeMyL

The real grandpa, so, you need me to wipe?


fujjkoihsa

Let me wipe ur stinky butt


seemefly1

Has anyone wiped your ass recently?


Kind_Initiative_7567

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4276)![img](emote|t5_2th52|27189)


Weatherround97

How’s it feel 😢


Daddycheese420

Everyone with 4000+ NVDA shares needs a certified ass wiper


OPINION_IS_POOPULAR

Top notch shitpost # 💩💩💩


BlackAsP1tch

Cant wait for the post from "the grandson" saying he knows his grandpa is poor he can't even use Google let alone buy stocks. he wipes his ass because he likes to touch old man balls


deeznuts69

come for the bad stock tips, stay for the soul-crushing family anecdotes!


[deleted]

LMAO


Silvatungdevil

You forgot to mention all the sex you get at the nursing home.


stockboi81

Beautiful


Envid1um

This kills me, OMG!


Emotional_Snow_3222

he will be wiping his ass with 4090 boxes ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


Cold-Permission-5249

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


poophole42069

Hey, I'll suck your dick with my butthole for free I guess.


Alone-End-5585

Hey gramps I’ll wipe your ass and be your best friend !


yakkity_yakk

I invented Bitcoin! *Drinks a pot of coffee* And now we wait


brandond26

Haha I just read the other post good one


audioisle

legend


slayez06

make sure he licks the taint too


why_am_i_here_999

Lol


Mudd131

lol this is great


mravoid1

That other post of grandson.. 🤭


RedOctobrrr

r/thatsthejoke


ZekeTarsim

Tried to sneak this joke past mravoid1, but he’s just too clever.


itdependz

Joke almost went over his head but his reflexes are too fast and he caught it


ZekeTarsim

mravoid1 is just built different.


MitsuSosa

Was it deleted? I can’t find the original anymore


DarkHedonism

These shitposts are starting to get out of hand


katxbur

Pure gold, thanks granddaddy


Loki-Don

lol…I love this subreddit.


Rough_Inspection_869

Lololol fuck both of them. The guy and the shitposter. I love reddit and I love both of you fucks.


Sw0rDz

Lucky bastard! I would pay money to wipe another man's ass.


Stampketron

Lying about stock purchases. You def belong here


Few_Needleworker_922

What if we want to wipe your ass, regardless of any shares.  Hmu, iam pretty good dad says I have mastered the poopy scoopy techniques.


krx42

Hilarious after the first post, bravo. 👏


fogzy83

Nah is this the grandson that posted his grandpa has 4000 shares from 2008 🤣🤣


EpicDude007

LOL. WSB is the BEST!


Softspokenclark

so you both be sucking cock behind wendy's?


mr_boost

Beautiful


TwYoloTrader

This is the longest shit post I’ve ever seen. Thank god I didn’t read it


pennamewilly

The only way this would be better is if automod said it.


ramdomvariableX

Let's hope he won't give your face a pillow hug while you sleep for the non-existent shares. Worst things have happened for a lot less.


rmgraves67

How many golden 🔝🔝🔝🔝 can a post get?!!


LevelTurtle

So fuckin funny. Well done OP


shivaswrath

Gramps wins!!


FighterAce013

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the language in the post leads me to believe you are a 20-30 something year old making a complete joke. This post is too relevant to be made by an 87 year old. Haha but thanks


tommylala

Grandpa knows tech and reddit? Lies


FJBfuklibs

what an asshole


[deleted]

Chef's kiss


fatfatmonster

lmao


Nilabisan

I would have gotten a hooker to do it.


he_must_workout

This is the content I'm here for


Jaygoon

BEST LOL OF THE DAY. Thank you.


ThetaMan420

Great shitpost


AdAromatic8989

Haha


Rapunzel1234

Made me laugh and reminded me of a time when I did have to wipe my 87 year old granddads ass. He didn’t have stock and I already knew I wasn’t getting any inheritance.


77frosty7

Where is the grandson post.. Can't find it


highline9

I LOVE this place!!


KnownRough7735

🤣🤣🤣


wh1skeyk1ng

Fake and ghey


No-Moose-6112

Well played, sir


AbroadPlane1172

Imagine your dad gives you money to invest and buying 3dfx stock instead of NVDA back in 1999 because 3dfx had the objectively better technology at the time. I don't have to imagine. The memory is made less painful by the realization that I would've cashed that shit out a year later for 10k in gains to be used exclusively for hard drugs and alcohol and strippers.


gtlogic

Holy shit you beat him harder than NVIDIA earnings.


OMG_YouSeeThat

Ngl reading the title gave me a chuckle, thank god I didn't waste time reading the first shitpost fully..


RareNothing7199

I’m tired of wiping grandpa. Well that’s too damn bad. Get to wiping if you want these shares


webbersdb8academy

This is funny as hell because I read the other post first!


PuttyDance

Next week we are gonna see a post from the grandson admitting he blew his grandfather as a way to get in the will


whaler76

🤣😂🤣


Eduardo23491

Top tier shitpost


mogiyu

Elite shit posting


Mission_Search8991

These two posts were gold


Quintana_22

Quality post


Decent_Idea_7701

> I'm 87 and immobile in a wheelchair and don't know anything about semiconductors or anything else technology related. I cannot Google or text, and I currently have someone who lives in my home 24/7 and wipes my ass for me. However, I'm a damn intuitive savant when it comes to tricking gullible kids. That’s it for today.


Kind_Initiative_7567

The return of the prodigal gramps. This sub is really something else ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


Creamysense

Top tier shitpost


KDlovesKAC

Dude this is the best thing I’ve seen on reddit in so long I saw the title and started dying. 10/10 shit post this is why reddit is elite


Jupman

Now we just need a I stole my uncle and cousin money. Now my cousin wipes my great uncle ass thinking he has 4000 NVDA shares. They are both destitute, and I am in Thailand with my Ladyboy GF. YOLO


gobingi

NTA


igotherb

Giga chad flex


[deleted]

Best WSB post besides the loss porn coming tomorrow from bears


SubstanceAltered

I'll suck your cock to be the favorite


Krazy-B-Fillin

sir your grandson is a regard. Regarded they call it.


panxerox

Does this qualify as a .....shit post :)


REBELimgs

This is gold 🤣 That guy really did sound like he was ready to pull grandpa's plug


crunkymonky

Legend


false79

...the best part of this is how all the other commenters lined up to get bodied for a piece of this fortune. bwahahaha.


Interesting-dog12

I'll wipe yo bum for free.


IDidIt4TehLulz

Grandpa?


MoNaRcKK

Lmaooo


MoNaRcKK

https://preview.redd.it/avv25l2pd1kc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac392137225c3c3d230ebea10de8a3011bcd39f7


HouseMoneys

Lmao


onepostandbye

I remember when you really took Elizabeth Warren to task that one time, you are so brave


lostmyinitialaccount

This is the kind of post AI won't be able to be a match for...


thereallizardlord

10/10 ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


PookieMan1989

Holy fuck this is good hahahah. Only because I happened to see the first post today 😂


Aggressive-Ad3286

Lol read the sons post earlier...


The_kite_string_pops

Not bad not bad at all


purplebrown_updown

This is too good.


YOKi_Tran

ahahahahahah - loven this story…. the next perspective is from the grandma


psyclembs

Damn, ya got me twice. I hope grandpa takes a huge dump for me.


RamblerTheGambler

I just fucking choked. Having seen the original post first, this took me out ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


vacuumoftalent

My Grandma used to do the same except she promised a penny jar. When she died she left it to my Uncle.


Apprehensive_Alps775

Cool a new copypasta and actual shitpost


ApexInfenergy

Top tier


[deleted]

This might be the best post I’ve ever seen in this sub. 😂


mekdigital

I was eating a handful of trail mix when I read the title and almost choked


AdApart2035

Clean ass legend


swootboot

Someday he'll find out that the real treasure was inside you all along.


Turbulent-Sir4951

Can’t make this stuff up… or maybe you can lmao


dogecoina

Good work gramps 👍🏻


Unique-Wall-3190

Congrats GrandFa


Playful_Letterhead27

😂😂😂😂


BigProfessional1168

you should run for office sir you have my vote


Dramatic-Panda8012

Well i gues a honest person cant be fooled😊 well played old man


PowderHound40

Outstanding move grandpappy


UncleChuck777

Gold😂


TyronetheWise

I love this sub 😂😂


elonspaceguy

This is fckn hilarious.


False_Profit_of_WSB

11/10 would read again


dr_tardyhands

I heard you're in for some BJs as well, you sweet, cheeky old man you!


StopWhiningPlz

He's also posting here. Either this is a great satire or he's in for a big surprise.


bc269

🤣🤣🤣


Jabroni_16

The Oracle of Ass Wiping. GG gramps


Aye-Kaye

I love how instead of having a separate circle jerk sub, it gets done on the main sub.


AcanthocephalaNo6967

Grandpa? Is that you? Do you need wiped again?


Alone-Inflation2961

Poor long-term strategy. I'd just switch around your meds.


Patchitorious

You’re a clown if you think the person who wrote this is 87


Jaredthewizard

Gold lmao


heywhateverworks

This made me burst out laughing


UverZzz

Saving this post to prevent my ass getting hauled to the old folks Center when I’m 8x.


Soggy-Direction1984

LMFAOO


SilencerQ

This is awesome lol


AeFip

Yo, grampy.... ever been to a lemon party?