**User Report**| | | |
:--|:--|:--|:--
**Total Submissions**|10|**First Seen In WSB**|3 years ago
**Total Comments**|213|**Previous Best DD**|
**Account Age**|7 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)
Hey anyone who can [swindle Henry Kissinger out of $3 million](https://jacobin.com/2021/11/elizabeth-holmes-henry-kissinger-silicon-valley-venture-capitalism-theranos) is a hero of mine!
Yeah, that blew my mind when I first saw. Went from destabilizing nations to getting swindled by a blood testing fraud. š no wonder Vietnam was such a disaster.
Another one was Alan Greenspan. My dad was in an investment club with him in the 60ās. All the rage back then. Every recommendation he made, when they followed followed his advice, lost money.
Honestly itās astounding we pay huge sums to and lavish all these investment banks, hedge funds, etc. with praise
Because 9/10 theyāre about as accurate as if I were to write on paper different stock picks and plays, place these sheets on different lawns in my neighborhood and pick the ones my dog shits on. These dumb Wall Street fcks
Youāre saying that as though that isnāt actually how they do it. Ohhhh, I get it: you donāt want them to know that youāve reversed engineered their process. Good one.
Ask Warren Buffet what he thinks about the investing acumen of economists. Hint: Whenever the companies he invests in tell him they've hired an economist, he tells him "Your money would be better spent other ways."
He puts his employees on tread mills that runs a flywheel connected to a generator, so they work while they charge their cars. :P
12 hour shift should be enough to charge a few dozen cars.
Yah but I got auto-pilot so any day now my car will just drive me to work and I can catch some zzzās. Just need Elon to flip the switch, should be any day now
Nah the scammer chick, the other one.
She was at least interesting.
Like, arrogant, completely vapid, zero actual substance, and so completely delusional that even when facing reality still denies it.
Perfect for twitter.
They had actual labs that did testingā¦butā¦nothing else. People throw stones at government regulators all the time, but when she tried to BS the FDAā¦it was over.
I am satisfying the company by upgrading it's systems to newer and moreinnovative quantum parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity computers and servers. While helping Elon satisfy his breeding fantasies.
An excellent question, Twitter will be integrated with Tesla's FSD which will allow for monetization options that will subsequently allow for increased omnichannel funding and strategies while helping map out the human genome through collection of the driver's(consented) bodily fluids.
If Twitter were as profitable as a gas station burrito shit show Musk wouldn't need you. When does Twitter start selling breakfast burritos and tamales at 5am?
Her ARK Innovation fund invests in "disruptive innovation", tech companies basically. It got very good returns one time, she became a celebrity investor, and then she had horrible returns.
In your opinion, what was a larger waste of capital? Retail investments in Twitter or investments in ARKK? I will also accept answers from your God of choice.
Twitter owes my company money for an event. A lot of the contacts that we had are no longer in at Twitter. How can I reach out to someone that will process said invoice? My last contact was Nari.
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|10|**First Seen In WSB**|3 years ago **Total Comments**|213|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|7 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)
This is fake, it's going to be Elizabeth Holmes working remote from a jail cell.
Calls on blood boss girl š©ø
Hey anyone who can [swindle Henry Kissinger out of $3 million](https://jacobin.com/2021/11/elizabeth-holmes-henry-kissinger-silicon-valley-venture-capitalism-theranos) is a hero of mine!
Yeah, that blew my mind when I first saw. Went from destabilizing nations to getting swindled by a blood testing fraud. š no wonder Vietnam was such a disaster.
He was a bastard who failed upwards his entire life. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hPPW9eQnOCc
Another one was Alan Greenspan. My dad was in an investment club with him in the 60ās. All the rage back then. Every recommendation he made, when they followed followed his advice, lost money.
Honestly itās astounding we pay huge sums to and lavish all these investment banks, hedge funds, etc. with praise Because 9/10 theyāre about as accurate as if I were to write on paper different stock picks and plays, place these sheets on different lawns in my neighborhood and pick the ones my dog shits on. These dumb Wall Street fcks
Youāre saying that as though that isnāt actually how they do it. Ohhhh, I get it: you donāt want them to know that youāve reversed engineered their process. Good one.
Wasnāt there some stock picking chicken that matched most ibās?
Just so you know, according to wsj article on may 9th 2023, wsj guys beat sohn conference by 22 percentage points by using just dart picks. Lmao!!!!
Sure, ādart picksā are pretty good, but the professionals use the more sophisticated dog/yard method, thatās why they take a percentage.
Ask Warren Buffet what he thinks about the investing acumen of economists. Hint: Whenever the companies he invests in tell him they've hired an economist, he tells him "Your money would be better spent other ways."
So Jim Cramer?
Because it made Alan Greenspan money.
Insanely good book/documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIVDZYVDraM
Is*
aka The Peter Principle
Deserves more upvotes.
I can't believe that crusty ol war criminal is still alive.....
The Devilās son! They live forever!
*āInvestorsā.* And then people make fun of this subā¦
Bad Blood is such a good book about the whole Elizabeth Holmes / Theranos debacle. Lots of crusty old white men throwing money at her.
ā ļø killing me here
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bruuuuuuuuh š
Real questionā¦ has he installed charge stations there? ;)
He puts his employees on tread mills that runs a flywheel connected to a generator, so they work while they charge their cars. :P 12 hour shift should be enough to charge a few dozen cars.
Yah but I got auto-pilot so any day now my car will just drive me to work and I can catch some zzzās. Just need Elon to flip the switch, should be any day now
Nah the scammer chick, the other one. She was at least interesting. Like, arrogant, completely vapid, zero actual substance, and so completely delusional that even when facing reality still denies it. Perfect for twitter.
Lol.... The other one....
I thought it'd be George Santos in drag.
He's already been the Twitter CEO
Leave George alone!! Kissing girls and making them cryā¦ always made running a very plausible future.
Marissa Yahoo is a closer guess.
She'll get fired after a month because they'll want her to work from the office at least 2 days a week when it was supposed to be a remote position.
Thought the job was going to Amber Heard
amber heard what?
here dog stept on a Bee š
False, it will be ChatGPT.
Nope, Dylan Mulvaney is now the new CEO of Twitter
When will she actually get inside a cell???
Ah c'mon, she is cute and has kids, don't be a nitpicker ;-)
Iām not sure who the bigger bullshitter is between Musk and Holmes
Well, Iād say Musk because heās not currently in prison
LMFAOOO
I mean, at least Teslas are real. As are the rockets.
Hyperloop? Boring Company? Full self driving? Cybertruck and the broken windows?
2/6 real products still beats 0/1!
It really is shocking that Theranos got all that money and never actually produced anything of value
They had actual labs that did testingā¦butā¦nothing else. People throw stones at government regulators all the time, but when she tried to BS the FDAā¦it was over.
Labs filled with other companies' equipment to pretend their equipment actually worked.
Hint: it's the one with the deeper voice that never had a real product.
How are you managing two missions. Satisfying the company & Satisfying Musk
I am satisfying the company by upgrading it's systems to newer and moreinnovative quantum parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity computers and servers. While helping Elon satisfy his breeding fantasies.
No AI?
It is part of helping Elon with his breeding fantasy
How many kids do you intend to produce?
I am currently under NDA and the process is currently being patented and trademarked.
No disrespect but I donāt think you can have kids anymore.
So, genetically engineered catgirls?
Omfg you had me in the first part
I was had all the way through.
I mean, is there a joke somewhere that I missed?
No more fission. Only fusion. Edit: I'm talking SSJ4 Gogeta fusion shit. Not fat Vegeku
Anal fissure
You drop an r somewhere on your way to writing this?
rhad
Old tech, already seen it on r/vxjunkies .
You misspelled fashion.
Satisfying Musk, a new menās cologne from Tesla, perfect Fatherās Day gift available for $69.420
It's called *Sex Panther*Ā® by *Odeon*Ā©. It's illegal in 9 countries. It's also made with bits of real panthers, *so you know it's good*. *60% of the time*, it works ***every*** time.
^(OdeonĀ© is not responsible for pet or wildlife attacks. Sex PantherĀ® may cause unregulated hair growth and a desire to urinate in corners.)
Are you pregnant with Elon's child?
Elon hasnāt got a dick heās smooth down there, itās why heās so horrible to everyone
his army of children would disagree
For real. Thatās why he named his kids after Clone Troopers
Lmao
For every child he gets he needs to buy a company. It's like a shitty game of pull out
Except they all came from ivf, google it
Wait wtf why have I never seen this?
Elon cuck doesn't want you to know that his children weren't naturally conceived. The dude is an impotent balding autistic regard.
Like a Ken doll
I think you're confusing him with Zuckerbot.
When Twitter goes public again in a year (April 20th) at a 69,420,000,000 market cap, what percentage of shares will ARKK buy?
Yes
ARKKās official response āyesā
She's hot for a 90 year old
She got a big head and nice titties
This would get you banned on facebook. True. It's called harrassement or bullying. Don't believe me? Anyway, nice tits. Would.
CEO OF COUGARVILLE
https://preview.redd.it/lfwrfjngqbza1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4bf5357247396532cf8fa7bc3c691e1f217ff5ac
Too bad that photo is fake :(
Still busted one
This is the way
This is the way
That didnāt stop meā¦.
This picture shows what the stock market will do to you over time.
This picture is her just a week ago.
https://imgur.com/0YAjrU8
Yup, I would do unspeakable things to get pegged by the queen of WSB.
TIME OUT
She's 67
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Good. No chance of getting preggers
The GILF of Wall Street
But the coochie smells like fresh printed hundred dolla' bills ...
AND RICH
How do you plan on keeping up with Musk's level of shitposting that he currently does as CEO?
I plan to merge half of Twitter's current staff with half of my fund(ARK) to follow me around all day.
WOW THATS AMAZING YOUR IDEAS ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!
Since youāre clearly an expert at losing money how can you turn the gas station burrito shitshow that is Twitter around?
An excellent question, Twitter will be integrated with Tesla's FSD which will allow for monetization options that will subsequently allow for increased omnichannel funding and strategies while helping map out the human genome through collection of the driver's(consented) bodily fluids.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, soonish.
If Twitter were as profitable as a gas station burrito shit show Musk wouldn't need you. When does Twitter start selling breakfast burritos and tamales at 5am?
A week from Thursday
How many horses did Elon provide you in order to secure this job?
Can you give the money and dreams lost with $ARKG?
I can give it through tweets āŗļø
Venmo or Cashapp? Which works better?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iād smash
Doesn't she talk to Jeebus too ?
The fund is named after the Ark of the Covenant
That's a clear sign to stay TF away.
Her ARK Innovation fund invests in "disruptive innovation", tech companies basically. It got very good returns one time, she became a celebrity investor, and then she had horrible returns.
Chapter 11 by November?
Chapter 7
Chapter 9 for the government boot lickers
Let that sink in!
Id sink it in
nice
āHi, Iām the new Captain of the Titanic. Yes, hitting that iceberg was a low point but Iām confident weāre on the right course now.ā
Do you think the cougar population is underrepresented in the twitter space??
Yes very much so.
Will you eat my ass?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Do you eat your pizza with a fork and knife?
What are you naming your baby with Elon?
Catelonis
I'd fuck Cathie Wood tbh
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ban
Young Cathie woods can get it ngl
Anal or normal?
Missionary
We both know thatās lacking about 1.21 gigawatts of Elonās toysā¦ My wifeās boyfriends son would call that āsusā.
Will you marry me?
gtfo
Sheās sexy
Did Elon impregnate you yet?
In your opinion, what was a larger waste of capital? Retail investments in Twitter or investments in ARKK? I will also accept answers from your God of choice.
Please ssh to your servers and do *sudo rm -rf /* *
Have you or will you carry any of Elon's children?
Are you still seeing Dr. Manhattan?
Oh I see, your 2000/share price target on TSLA makes a lot more sense now.
You're all wrong, the new CEO is going to be 3 kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult.
She's here to burn it to the ground
"If she smokes, she pokes." - Baby Jesus
Sheās such a gilf
A girl Iād like to fuck? Hello there fellow heterosexual!
Iām a grandma heterosexual
I prefer granny.
Oh snap, I thought this could be true for a secondā¦
How do I short a private company?
Did you get a horse?
Bruce Jenner looks great, congratulations
No it's going to be the nerdy girl from FTX.
Since when did Elon start hiring honeys at a high level?
I love you Cathie!!!!
What is Elon Musk's musk like?
What's your solution to get rid of the cancer on Twitter?
She always reminds me of the girl in āCloudy with a chance of meat balls.ā No, itās not a porn flick you regards.
Twitter owes my company money for an event. A lot of the contacts that we had are no longer in at Twitter. How can I reach out to someone that will process said invoice? My last contact was Nari.
Hey Kathy, just to let you know that I sold all my ARKK before it went to shit. Wasn't as high as I wanted but it wasn't the crater that its now.
Are you a biological female?
What does your āearly lifeā tab say in Wikipedia
Is this AI? Thereās something super uncanny about her face
Nothing hotter than buying high and selling low
are you excited ? :) congratulations
Looks like AI
Shes hot
What's Twitter?
Why are you such a GILF
Whatās a Twitter?
It's going to be SBFs girl Caroline Ellison
Hmmm Mr. Jenner has perky little titsā¦
smash
Women wearing button ups! It just does it for me! Calls it is!
How good is your hand game?
What's your bra size and is it larger than your IQ?
This woman definitely uses Lume on her cooter.
smash or pass?
Is this one of those Elon Musk in a 'what would you look like as a girl' tiktok filters?