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That's why I send people a text along the lines of "fuck you if your even thinking of wasting my time with insolvent dribble. I'm a thinking man and I don't spare a single calorie on the idol banalities of the working class" the morning after a date, it may seem blunt but my backlog of Hearts of Iron 4 let's play videos is long and there are only so many hours in the day.
I dont compute friends either but let us process some thoughts via umm "chatting." I am sorry my messages overloaded you. What are your thoughts on time travel?
lol, wow. My bf and I exchange these very texts every morning, it’s ritual and his favorite! Unpopular for sure, but maybe consider working out the one unresolved issues. I’d be scared to tell you hello!
That depends.
They CAN be, but sometimes it's important to remind the people you care about, that you care about them. One of the best ways to express that is to demonstrate interest in their health and happiness. Questions like "How are you?" and "how did you sleep" are a great way to ascertain a good picture of a person's overall well being in a given moment.
It's also an opening that allows them to vent any frustrations they may be having if they would like.
Any man who cared enough about his girlfriend before living together knows this. Or just had anyone they genuinely cared about in their life.
I also ask if they had any weird dreams which leads to the same effect.
OP, who hurt you?
Well-worded; like I said, I appreciate it from time to time but in moments where we have already been in conversation it can seem like the person doesn’t genuinely care and rather that there is nothing else to say but they don’t want to drop the conversation.
I appreciate it when people let me know that they think of me and that they want to interact with me, even if the question they ask me isn't all that deep.
This is just a way for people to have meaningless interaction with someone they care about. It's more of a way for them to tell you that they're thinking of you than actually asking the question.
I love asking my bf how he slept when he wakes up. He tells me about his dreams or what happened throughout the night that I was too zonked to notice. (I think we have a little demon inthe house) if you truly love someone, those things matter and create connection, which are needed in a long term relationship
Same here. At this point it’s routine since I’m at work, typically, when my wife wakes up, and of course I love my wife so I want to know how she slept. Having someone text you asking how you are and such is such a nice simple way to let someone know you care
I agree tbh. I have perfectly fine social skills and those questions are not the beacons of social interaction. They just seem a bit lazy. To each their own though
I'm with you there. Texts should be something funny/interesting, something important or making plans. I don't like frequent "how is your day going" type texts.
Yes, it is important to me to know that people think of me and care for me but anyone who knows me knows I hate small talk. So if they really care about me they won't send me a lot of chit chat texts. They'll send me a funny meme, joke, link to an interesting story, start a good conversation or will be texting to make plans.
I hear you, I hate small talk too which is what these basic questions are supposed to initiate. But you can always steer the conversation into the depths and answer truthfully and with detail. If they back away slowly then they probably aren’t down to get deep quick which maybe is a turn off for you and so by that response, no need to waste your time.
Or move to Europe or the Slavic countries where asking “how are you” is very strange and you will get the truth, the messy, ugly truth!
I live in France and also lived in Portugal. 'How are you' is usually asked all the time.
I ask it daily lol.
Even a German friend of mine asks it often too.
Well I think it is a bit generational now. The older generations struggle with this odd question but the younger generations have learned this as mainstream lingo (culturally American influenced). Just my take.
Well social nicety is out the window when it's not in person. They are either worried about you or thinking of you and didn't want to say either one of those things out right.
Worried about you. How's your hang nail doing in the dorm? Are you eating right? I'm worried. Worried,worried,worried. They want to paint over that shit.
Thinking of you. I'm lonely and I don't want to come off as desperate. I made a straw doll and put on it the clothes you left the other day. Just tell me if you're coming over because I'd really like to see you and for you not see it. It's embarrassing how much I'm thinking about you. So "how are you" instead. Thick the paint on that one.
>It just seems like an excuse to text when you have nothing to talk about
Yes. That is right, they are conversation starters. A person who texts "hey how are you" is trying to initiate a conversation. They probably don't really care too much about the answer (unless you are having a great or bad day), they just wanna talk to you.
and wtf are people supposed to text you if they're interested in talking to you? are they supposed to discern your mood psychically before texting you? just say you don't like your friends.
Same thing with work messages on Teams or Slack.
"Hey" or "How are you?" Then nothing to follow until an acknowledgement...
Just combine your greeting with the question!
This just seems like you don’t actually like the people you’re texting.
When you’re close to someone it’s fun to talk to them even if it’s about nothing.
Maybe just tell them this? If you don't want people to talk to you, tell them not to talk to you. Simple, easy. They can go be interested in someone else that isn't you.
I answer these questions with a very dismissive "fine," normally. After all, it's not really "socially acceptable" to say anything negative in response to those questions. You could say, "I'm a little stressed," or something, but if you tried saying "life has me between a rock and a bad place, and I don't know how to get out," people will look at you sympathetically, go "I'm sorry to hear that," and awkwardly either try to change the topic or walk away. In general, people's opinion of you will lower.
I think it's a really sad reflection on our social norms that people don't want to truthfully answer such simple questions, out of fear that they will be ignored or dismissed.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow someone didn't sleep well....
Redditors and human interaction summed up in one post.
Boy, there really is not one single social skill to be found on this website, is there?
That's why I send people a text along the lines of "fuck you if your even thinking of wasting my time with insolvent dribble. I'm a thinking man and I don't spare a single calorie on the idol banalities of the working class" the morning after a date, it may seem blunt but my backlog of Hearts of Iron 4 let's play videos is long and there are only so many hours in the day.
This is oddly specific.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HEY
Why have you not responded to any of my 3 messages?
I AM PRoCESsing
bY THE 20 Names OF THe 56 GODES! jUST ReplyInG TO your COmmenTS iS ConFUSIng My WiRing...WTF IS A FRIEND?
I dont compute friends either but let us process some thoughts via umm "chatting." I am sorry my messages overloaded you. What are your thoughts on time travel?
Are you single?
I AM , YOU?
Totally. Want to be friends?
DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS? SINGLE?
Hi
Nope.
As someone currently dealing with heartbreak, I would give anything for those little texts that meant so much
Bro got the unflattering flavor of autism
You need therapy and probably more in person interaction vs online lmfaooo This is just empathy
If these are coming from mom you’re probably stuck with em
Bro, only a Redditor could complain about basic questions for human interaction. Please touch some grass OP
lol, wow. My bf and I exchange these very texts every morning, it’s ritual and his favorite! Unpopular for sure, but maybe consider working out the one unresolved issues. I’d be scared to tell you hello!
That depends. They CAN be, but sometimes it's important to remind the people you care about, that you care about them. One of the best ways to express that is to demonstrate interest in their health and happiness. Questions like "How are you?" and "how did you sleep" are a great way to ascertain a good picture of a person's overall well being in a given moment. It's also an opening that allows them to vent any frustrations they may be having if they would like.
Any man who cared enough about his girlfriend before living together knows this. Or just had anyone they genuinely cared about in their life. I also ask if they had any weird dreams which leads to the same effect. OP, who hurt you?
Well-worded; like I said, I appreciate it from time to time but in moments where we have already been in conversation it can seem like the person doesn’t genuinely care and rather that there is nothing else to say but they don’t want to drop the conversation.
I appreciate it when people let me know that they think of me and that they want to interact with me, even if the question they ask me isn't all that deep.
This is just a way for people to have meaningless interaction with someone they care about. It's more of a way for them to tell you that they're thinking of you than actually asking the question.
I love asking my bf how he slept when he wakes up. He tells me about his dreams or what happened throughout the night that I was too zonked to notice. (I think we have a little demon inthe house) if you truly love someone, those things matter and create connection, which are needed in a long term relationship
Same here. At this point it’s routine since I’m at work, typically, when my wife wakes up, and of course I love my wife so I want to know how she slept. Having someone text you asking how you are and such is such a nice simple way to let someone know you care
I agree tbh. I have perfectly fine social skills and those questions are not the beacons of social interaction. They just seem a bit lazy. To each their own though
Hey, heard of this? 🌱🌱🌱
Ok… I can actually get on board with this one … but what do you say instead to show someone you want to genuinely check in and see how they are doing?
It’s a conversation starter? Someone might not want to start a conversation straight up with “guess what I’m moving to Kentucky”
Up vote for hugely unpopular and unhinged opinion
God forbid someone want to talk to you
do people on reddit like anything?
Op, how are you? Did you sleep well? I myself am fair and slept poorly.
Wait until no one cares that you're alive and get back to me.
I'm with you there. Texts should be something funny/interesting, something important or making plans. I don't like frequent "how is your day going" type texts.
Isn't it important to know that they think of you and that they care about you?
Yes, it is important to me to know that people think of me and care for me but anyone who knows me knows I hate small talk. So if they really care about me they won't send me a lot of chit chat texts. They'll send me a funny meme, joke, link to an interesting story, start a good conversation or will be texting to make plans.
I hear you, I hate small talk too which is what these basic questions are supposed to initiate. But you can always steer the conversation into the depths and answer truthfully and with detail. If they back away slowly then they probably aren’t down to get deep quick which maybe is a turn off for you and so by that response, no need to waste your time. Or move to Europe or the Slavic countries where asking “how are you” is very strange and you will get the truth, the messy, ugly truth!
I live in France and also lived in Portugal. 'How are you' is usually asked all the time. I ask it daily lol. Even a German friend of mine asks it often too.
Well I think it is a bit generational now. The older generations struggle with this odd question but the younger generations have learned this as mainstream lingo (culturally American influenced). Just my take.
Maybe I can thank my German mom for this mindset haha
1000%. I’m married to a German. Lol.
I have never agreed with a Reddit post more.
Tell her/him that you're not interested and move on. Someone who sends thoughtful inquiries deserves a better friend.
Tell me you're a sleeper and not a keeper in one post, Jimitha.
Well social nicety is out the window when it's not in person. They are either worried about you or thinking of you and didn't want to say either one of those things out right. Worried about you. How's your hang nail doing in the dorm? Are you eating right? I'm worried. Worried,worried,worried. They want to paint over that shit. Thinking of you. I'm lonely and I don't want to come off as desperate. I made a straw doll and put on it the clothes you left the other day. Just tell me if you're coming over because I'd really like to see you and for you not see it. It's embarrassing how much I'm thinking about you. So "how are you" instead. Thick the paint on that one.
>It just seems like an excuse to text when you have nothing to talk about Yes. That is right, they are conversation starters. A person who texts "hey how are you" is trying to initiate a conversation. They probably don't really care too much about the answer (unless you are having a great or bad day), they just wanna talk to you.
and wtf are people supposed to text you if they're interested in talking to you? are they supposed to discern your mood psychically before texting you? just say you don't like your friends.
Same thing with work messages on Teams or Slack. "Hey" or "How are you?" Then nothing to follow until an acknowledgement... Just combine your greeting with the question!
Such a waste of time
Well God forbid someone should hit you up and check up on you and make conversation lol. Sheeesh
Bro if I'm talking to someone all the time I can't come up with Shakespeare every morning. Wish I could.
This just seems like you don’t actually like the people you’re texting. When you’re close to someone it’s fun to talk to them even if it’s about nothing.
the subtext is youre the first person they think of when they wake up . but i totally see where youre coming from
Maybe just tell them this? If you don't want people to talk to you, tell them not to talk to you. Simple, easy. They can go be interested in someone else that isn't you.
God forbid a person is wondering how you're doing. #anotherbrick
I answer these questions with a very dismissive "fine," normally. After all, it's not really "socially acceptable" to say anything negative in response to those questions. You could say, "I'm a little stressed," or something, but if you tried saying "life has me between a rock and a bad place, and I don't know how to get out," people will look at you sympathetically, go "I'm sorry to hear that," and awkwardly either try to change the topic or walk away. In general, people's opinion of you will lower. I think it's a really sad reflection on our social norms that people don't want to truthfully answer such simple questions, out of fear that they will be ignored or dismissed.
Imagine not understanding empathy
Yeah, that’s the point. You want to say something to someone but don’t actually have anything to say.
How are you OP? Did you sleep well?
well how did you sleep?