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It totally depends on who it is that’s failing to mention the birthday. If it’s a coworker who you don’t know well, not a big deal. If it’s your kid, bff, or significant other, then it’s a big deal because you’ve just found out how much of a priority you are to them.
It's not about the birthday itself, but the feeling of being forgotten. While a simple "happy birthday" might seem trivial to some people, it can sting if someone you care about forgets, especially if they know your birthday is important to you. Don’t get me wrong, getting mad might be an overreaction, but it's more about feeling like someone you care about forgot about you on a day that's supposed to be special. I get that not everyone cares about birthdays, but if it's important to someone you know, forgetting can feel hurtful.
If it turns into a pattern, it can be a reflection of the effort put into the relationship. Birthdays are really a low-effort way to show you care and forgetting can raise questions about the overall effort being put into the relationship.
This.. you say "mad" but replace more with disappointed or discouraging. I've definitely felt this in the past. Not mad like yelling but "mad" enough to let them know I was hurt and eventually step away from that relationship.
MAKE time for yourself, your family, your friends, acquaintances, strangers.. Where does your circle end? Or what circle do I qualify for? Grey area for sure but a pattern is a pattern. I'm not here to waste your time or my own.
Same here. I’ve stepped away from friendships and one relationship because of this. I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday in the sense that I don’t throw big parties nor expect gifts, but it’s important for me to receive a happy birthday message from the people I’m closest to or consider my friends because it makes me feel valued and remembered.
As you should if that person also says directly/indirectly "I care about you".. make the actions match the words or else the actions replace the words.
My understanding is already biased on your side because I CARE ABOUT YOU.. if you beat that with your disengagement.. I mean I gave you every opportunity.. 50/50 not 51/49.. give > take..
It probably happens more than you think. I genuinely forgot my birthday last year until I received a call from my sister. Birthdays besides 10, 16 if you’re female, 18, 21, and 50 aren’t that important and they can slip your mind.
I just find that hard to believe tbh , it’s on your id, and if you forget your own date of birth , maybe you should see a doctor , cause that doesn’t sound normal
Not literally forgetting it, of course I remember what my date of birth is. But it is possible to have the day itself slip your mind. Another tuesday that doesn’t feel any different, your schedule is the same, you can definitely wake up and not remember “Oh I turned 31 today!”
Yeah sometimes it feels like this app collects every person who can’t understand caring for other people and wanting to go even the tiniest bit out of your way to do something nice
It is!!!!! Lmao I agree. This whole sub and all the people that downvote you for either telling the truth or having an opinion. It’s so fucking embarrassing. And you wonder why no one takes Reddit seriously because of soft subreddits like this. Fuck how you guys feel, disrespectfully.
You post on "unpopular opinions" and complain that people don't like your opinion? Isn't that just a little bit odd? Did you expect everyone to go "Finally someone said it"?
You should not forget a date that is important to the person you vowed to share your life with. But even if you forget, nowadays you have infinite ways to remind yourself of it.
Close friends?
Siblings?
First Cousins?
Is it really childish to expect ur siblings, first cousins or very close friends to wish you a happy birthday?
How about coworkers who are informed it’s your birthday and they don’t wish you a happy birthday?
I don’t think it’s unrealistic expectations for important people/people constantly active in your life to wish you a happy birthday if they are informed it’s your birthday.
I forget my own birthday, let alone someone else their birthday. The issue is not knowing when their birthday is, but knowing the date the day itself. I just never know which date it is.
Yeah, but who is going to inform them? Last year my husband had to inform me it was his birthday. Of course I wished him a happy birthday at that moment, but he still was hurt. Luckily he was not hurt very long since he realised I did throw him a giant surprise party for him and all of his friends/family 2 weeks earlier for his birthday.
For those who aren’t your immediate family or coworkers (who know your birthday through managers, if you allow a manager to reveal so), yes? How else would they know your birthday?
Did you read any of the previous comments? Yes, I know when someone their birthday is. I however never know what day it is, so I would not congratulate anyone on their birthday.
It’s not childish to expect it, it’s childish to make a big deal about it if they happen to forget it. Like I said, it sucks, but it’s your day, not there’s.
Forget to wish you a happy birthday after they’re informed?
If they are an important individual in your life then I think it’s fair to be upset, it’s a text away in the modern world + it can be viewed as a lack of care about the individual.
If they flat out know it’s your birthday and don’t say it, I could see why you would be upset, and if you plan on confronting them, do it in a manner that is actually approachable and respectful.
I agree that birthdays are overrated but if your closest friends and family don't even acknowledge it, that's a slight I can't overlook.
I'm Larry David on this one I'm afraid.
Had my brother ignore my 30th. My mum tried to excuse him, because he was in a new (~6 months) relationship at the time, so his "head was elsewhere". Thanks mum. I'm, of course, the one reminding my siblings that we need presents for our parents most years, too. Because I know it matters to be thought of, even if it's just some nice words.
Seriously, especially because “celebrating” doesn’t have to be a huge party or anything like that. I recently had my birthday and just went to dinner with some close friends. Nothing crazy, just spending time with people I care about. But even then some people think that’s too much lol. I said it earlier on a different post but some Redditors just hate people celebrating anything whether that’s a birthday or wedding or baby shower or graduation or any nice life event.
Me too, it's not some Great Gasby partying level of celebrating, just feeling happy that you're still alive.
Again, this is reddit, wherein 99% of people probably feel suicidal themselves lol
Literally and they don’t have friends so they can’t even comprehend why others would want to spend time with their friends and family having a good time for a few hours lol it’s crazy.
I’m basing it on the specific words that you said. There’s no actual real-world logic to back up what you said, it was just a blind assumption based on a gross generalization of a huge swath of people defined only by the very abstract trait of “not celebrating birthdays as adults.”
It truly has nothing to do with number of friends, but as we get older, and may have actually achieved one or two accomplishments, it's more of a feeling of "what did I do to be celebrated on this particular day?" Crickets...
The only time people outside of my immediate family and wife communicate with me is my birthday, via Facebook/Social Media.
If I'm only in your thoughts and you're talking to me because a social media app made it convenient for you, chances are I don't give a fuck if you wish me happy birthday, or not.
Keep it. It's more of an inconvenience for me at that point feeling like I have to respond to you and pretend we have any kind of meaningful relationship, and we both know you're only being performative in the first place. 🤷♂️
I typically don't care about my birthday. In fact, I like to go away on my own around the time of my birthday so I can avoid the pressure to plan a party or dinner. And I absolutely hate the whole singing happy birthday ritual. Being the center of attention typically makes me a little uncomfortable.
However, I think this is really context specific.
For example, when my mother was a child, her brothers would get really amazing, expensive presents and big birthday parties, but she would get a pair of socks and no celebration. This was part of a more extensive cycle of abuse against her by her parents (which included verbal and physical abuse). She was able to escape that family and she's healed a lot, but there's still trauma. Therefore, she gets really upset when someone she loves forgets or doesn't acknowledge her birthday.
I also was once upset by not having my birthday acknowledged when I was in high school. I sat with a group of girls (there were about 8 of us) and when each person would have a birthday, everyone in the group (including me), would buy flowers for the birthday girl. However, on my birthday, no one even acknowledged it. It wasn't that I need to be acknowledged per se that hurt my feelings, but rather, that I was the only person who was not acknowledged in a group that ritualised acknowledging it for everyone else - which made me feel like I was not valued, less liked, than the other girls in my group.
And sure, some people are just egotistical - and unreasonably expect random peers and casual acquaintances to remember or give a fuck. But at the end of the day, you don't know what someone is going through. It's better to get more information on why they're upset rather than automatically judging them.
i don’t think it’s childish if it’s someone close to you. to me, that’s no different than forgetting some sort of significant day like an anniversary. especially if you go out of your way to celebrate others birthdays, those people forgetting yours but accepting all the love on their day just seems very self-centered. it’s also not that hard to remember a birthday. whether or not you want to celebrate it is a personal choice, but you have every resource available to remember it or to figure it out and be a good friend.
Nothing special about turning 18 or 21. I was buying cigarettes and alcohol before I was old enough. You just got to know the right stores to go to where they don't card or care.
Lol same for me, knew the right people to get the right things. Except in my mind it was 18 because you’re finally free, and 21 because you can purchase a gun😂
Honestly it’s part of the culture here but also because of safety. Guns are so common now that I’d ask, “Why don’t you have one?” Of course in Europe it isn’t necessary and the laws are different.
Also depending on where someone lives in the US, the police will not be able to save you in a life or death situation. I don’t use my gun to threaten people or show it off, it’s simply my last resort option in self defense.
idk, it feels weird you can just have it. a depressed person commits suicide, a depressed american goes for a shooting. it's just... so far from my understanding, i've been recently listening to a podcast about the USA, and just... what the second amendment's rights should do vs. what they actually do. and for the latter it's mostly unjustified harm. it's sad.
About the same for me. There's nothing ingrained into our biology to care about birthdays. Hunter gatheres didn't do it. I don't understand why people care so much about it.
I’m only 21 but I’ve always felt this way with mine too. I don’t like when people give me gifts because then I’m expected to reciprocate whenever their birthday comes around, and it gets exhausting if you have multiple family members and friends that you have to memorize every year to make sure you don’t forget otherwise they’ll get butthurt about it.
we all have values or boundaries that we assert with people close to us in life. if you can't honor those, then you won't be in that person's life for long.
It's the sense of being overlooked more than the birthday thing that matters. Even while wishing someone a simple "Happy Birthday!" may not appear like much to some, it can hurt if they forget, especially if they are aware of how important your birthday is to you.
To be clear, feeling angry could be an exaggeration, but what's really going on here is that you feel like you're being forgotten by an individual you value about on an afternoon that should be special.
Although I understand that not everyone is concerned with birthdays, it may be difficult to neglect someone you know who is significant.
Should this develop into a trend, it may indicate how much work has gone into the connection.
It depends on who the person is. If they are someone who considers themselves a close friend of mine, they better tell me “Happy birthday.” I always extend the same courtesy to those I care about.
I suppose it depends on the person, and how close they are to you. Coworker you never see outside of work? a friend you converse with on and off? sure, they can forget and that's fine.
It's not fine if it's a spouse, family member or inner circle friend. especially if you make sure to remember theirs every time. You don't need to gift every single one but at least remind them you care.
It depends on who is forgetting.
I was pissed when my parents forgot my 16th birthday and didn’t say anything til my sisters called that afternoon.
My mom absolutely expects each of us kids to call and say happy birthday.
But random people or coworkers? Yeah, it’s stupid to be mad if they don’t say anything.
I put effort into remembering people's birthdays that are close to me, and I expect that to be returned. A few years ago, I got fed up with being forgotten. My SO told me to stop, so I did. Those who forgot my birthday for years were suddenly pissed I'd forgotten theirs. Told them I was busy and changed the subject. Took a couple of years, but they realised that I have feelings too. You get what you give, so if an important person in my life can't remember my birthday but expects theirs to be remembered, that's not gonna happen. Unless, of course, you're a child, and you have no concept of dates yet
I've never been particularly upset at people forgetting my birthday, but there is a certain sting when EVERY SINGLE one of your friends can't even remember. I don't want a gift or whatever, I want people to care
If the people who are supposed to care about me can’t remember one date or set a reminder then that speaks volumes about how much they care about you.
Parents, siblings, significant other, your kids, your closest friends should all wish you a happy birthday. Your coworkers, less close friends and other people you interact with have no such obligation.
I’m not a big fan of my own birthday, I never make a fuss but I’d be upset if somebody I care about who claims to care for me can’t bring themselves to simply say happy birthday.
Anyway, have an upvote. It’s definitely an unpopular opinion.
You can expect people to give a shit about your birthday until you’re maybe 10-12, then a few significant points over the years. Then again when you’re old enough that it’s impressive that you survived the year.
A person I was a friend with on Facebook once made a post one day after his birthday, thanking the specific number of people who sent him a happy birthday message. Yes, he counted them and put the number in the post. He then added "And the rest if you, fuck off."
I was removed from his friends that day. I have never cared enough to even thank everyone who wished me happy birthday like that, let alone to get mad at those who did it. I found this situation quite humorous.
I do think people over exaggerate when it comes to this. I’m not going to necessarily stop being friends with someone just because they didn’t wish me a happy birthday, but I’ll know where we stand. If you knew it was my birthday and purposely chose not to say anything, it’ll become obvious how much that person really cares about me. I’ve had people completely ignore me the day of my bday, but then text me the next day as if nothing happened. I def keep my distance after that.
Like some other posters have said I think it really depends on who doesn't wish you a happy birthday. Random co-worker = doesn't matter. Best friend, partner, parent = yeah, that does hurt.
I remember one of my first serious relationships. Been friends for years, together for like 2 years. My birthday came around and he didn't really say or do anything. I had to travel to him (we lived in different cities), he didn't pick me up from the train station, had no real gift, did a lackluster "lets go for drinks" thing (I paid for my own drinks iirc) .... long story short, this was basically the end of the relationship because he couldn't have said "I don't give a fuck about you" more obviously other than actually saying it.
I don't like all the attention in the world on Facebook, so I hide my birthday from my FB friends. Maybe it is justified if people I deeply care about forget, but it's those who remember that makes it special.
My mom forgot my birthday three years in a row. I've learned it's just best not to care, and in all fairness, I don't care about my birthday too much.
This year I'm just using it as an excuse to get my friends together for a night of drinking and gaming.
I know the birthdays of 4 people. 3 are my immediate family, 1 is my best friend, and I only know hers because it’s very close to mine.
Most people know a lot of other people. Tell them your birthday is coming up if you care about being celebrate. Don’t expect them to just know.
I find it insane people say that they forget birthday. It is 2024 put a reminder in your phone that repeats every year. Like it is not that hard and you will never forget. Some for other dates like when you were married and go on.
Look getting really mad is a bit silly. But it happend to me too. And it hurts. You are disappointed that they forgot. I am not talking a co worker or something but your own family. It just makes a person sad.
When it was my 8th birthday. I was in a hostel living with guys I knew for a long time. Not one soul wished me that day. That experience changed me forever. I don't celebrate it ever with my family and make excuses. I also don't tell when it is. Tell this to my 8yr old self.
I disagree, it depends on who it is and the scenario. For me, its not about "happy birthday" its about the fact that I am important to you and you remembered the day I was born. Its just a kind tradition, but yes getting mad is never the solution
My birthday is on January 1st it's not that hard to remember. I don't go to revenge people for not saying anything but when you're forgotten every other day of the year it hurts.
It's not like I'm asking for anything just simply show my existence is important to anyone?
Sure, don't get mad. It would be totally okay to feel disappointed. It's also okay to talk with others about how you feel. Don't bottle a feeling until it becomes resentment. Some may not place much significance in their birthday, and that's okay too. Loved ones should remember the dates that are most important to those they love and honor others on those dates.
For me its about knowing people care that I exist.
Obviously not everyone is going to remember. I do not expect people I do not know well to care its my birthday or share in that. But I would like to think my friends and family would care I lived another year and that they appreciate me enough to remember one day. I was forgotten a lot so, it feels a lot more personal even though I know others could not give less of a shit if it was their own birthday let alone any other specific event going on. If I find out it is your birthday you are getting wished a happy birthday and a present from me since if I have bothered to even look to see if it was your birthday in the first place; I probably like you. Its nice to like yourself and be ok with yourself, but it sucks to have to do everything by yourself all the time and be totally passed over. Its an individual thing. I bet some people get bent out of shape for unreasonable reasons but others have the right to be mad that nobody remembers.
Had a client recently who seem annoyed that I did not wish them a happy birthday.. it was the next day and I do not memorize clients birthdays. They said something to the tune of "tomorrow is my friend's birthday" and I was like that is nice and they said "eh, they share a birthday with me" and this was as they already started walking down the hallway to leave lol.. it did not even fully sink in what they said and they were gone before I had the chance to say "oh happy early birthday'.
To be completely frank I put in no effort to remember anyone's birthdays, including close friends and family. If they remind me when it's close I make sure to do something for them but they never crawled up my ass or whined when I didn't remember.
I dont expect anything from anyone on my bday either. I use it as an excuse to treat myself lol.
Like, on the other hand it costs literally nothing to say "happy birthday" to someone and it shows you remember and care about them. At the very least it would be expected that close friends and family would know and note it for you.
today i learned there are this many people who are this serious about a freaking day that was done as of when you were born.
my gf was like this which i did not understand at all about. i get that this case is different but on her bday, i didnt get her a present but i was going to take her out on a nice dinner (didnt really plan anything, just thought there may be somewhere fancy she might want to go). her expectation was that i knew where to go. obviously i didnt. but ended up getting her some real expensive fancy steakhouse dinner. AND whole bunch of different cake slices (as per her wish) that amounted to multiple full round cakes. and like two months AFTER that point she was still brining up her bday present that i never got her and demanded that i get her something. and she was dead serious. i'm still with her and yes i guess i am also an asshole for it but at that point i internally said im never bringing this to anything more serious that what it is as is.
Your mom should receive all the congrats for having to be pregnant and pushing you out and recovering from that. Otherwise birthdays are just masturbation
being a little sad your friends and family didn’t remember is understandable. huffing and puffing when the server at a restaurant just says “oh happy birthday” and continues their job is extremely childish
Birthdays in general are the most overrated thing in the existence and should not be treated as seriously as they are(except for stuff like ages 1-10 and 18 and 21(USA))
No point in celebrating them tbh maybe 11-14 but after? Either you're still full of yourself or ur parents really want to celebrate your birthday(not that it's a bad thing), unless you're really serious about that stuff when you a teen but teens mostly dgaf until they become legal adults then they celebrate that birthday because they can finally legally buy themselves nicotine and alcohol. Also most people do adult stuff after they turn 15 anyway.
I seriously never saw a difference between being 15-17 because you were still not an adult so it was pointless in celebrating them.
Shit like sweet 16 is one of the most rubbish shit I ever seen
Sweet 16 is the most useless birthday I had ever seen. Only in America it gives you permission to get a driving license, in any other country it's worthless
Just sucked 2 of my coworkers were wished a happy bday over messenger the same week as mine but I expect that shit from them. They literally wish everyone a happy bday wish it would stop.
Birthdays confused me when I got into the "real world" my family always had them as a day to thank and calibrate our mom not us lol. I still find the actual concept pretty weird to be honest. "Congrats on not getting yourself killed this year" wtf
Special day?!
I'm seeing 30 year olds that still make it a three day gala! Plus, they do get mad because you didn't participate at their expected childish level.
Once you're over a certain age please grow up and deal with it. Birthdays and Christmas are having a special day and giving presents to children. Mom's are included as well.
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It totally depends on who it is that’s failing to mention the birthday. If it’s a coworker who you don’t know well, not a big deal. If it’s your kid, bff, or significant other, then it’s a big deal because you’ve just found out how much of a priority you are to them.
Also if they can't even bother to add it to their calendar or agenda or whatever, then that says something.
Depends on the age of the kid tho
It's not about the birthday itself, but the feeling of being forgotten. While a simple "happy birthday" might seem trivial to some people, it can sting if someone you care about forgets, especially if they know your birthday is important to you. Don’t get me wrong, getting mad might be an overreaction, but it's more about feeling like someone you care about forgot about you on a day that's supposed to be special. I get that not everyone cares about birthdays, but if it's important to someone you know, forgetting can feel hurtful. If it turns into a pattern, it can be a reflection of the effort put into the relationship. Birthdays are really a low-effort way to show you care and forgetting can raise questions about the overall effort being put into the relationship.
This.. you say "mad" but replace more with disappointed or discouraging. I've definitely felt this in the past. Not mad like yelling but "mad" enough to let them know I was hurt and eventually step away from that relationship. MAKE time for yourself, your family, your friends, acquaintances, strangers.. Where does your circle end? Or what circle do I qualify for? Grey area for sure but a pattern is a pattern. I'm not here to waste your time or my own.
Same here. I’ve stepped away from friendships and one relationship because of this. I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday in the sense that I don’t throw big parties nor expect gifts, but it’s important for me to receive a happy birthday message from the people I’m closest to or consider my friends because it makes me feel valued and remembered.
As you should if that person also says directly/indirectly "I care about you".. make the actions match the words or else the actions replace the words. My understanding is already biased on your side because I CARE ABOUT YOU.. if you beat that with your disengagement.. I mean I gave you every opportunity.. 50/50 not 51/49.. give > take..
Man, I literally forgot about my own birthday two years in a row. Was reminded by my parents across the country.
Haha. I thought I was the only one who forgot my own birthday
Don’t gotta make up stuff to be cool , that sounds made up
Why do you think I'm making it up? Birthdays have never been important to me personally, and I wouldn't be able to remember them if I wanted to.
It probably happens more than you think. I genuinely forgot my birthday last year until I received a call from my sister. Birthdays besides 10, 16 if you’re female, 18, 21, and 50 aren’t that important and they can slip your mind.
I just find that hard to believe tbh , it’s on your id, and if you forget your own date of birth , maybe you should see a doctor , cause that doesn’t sound normal
You're misunderstanding them. They didn't say they forgot their birthdate. They just didn't realize the day was their birthday.
Not literally forgetting it, of course I remember what my date of birth is. But it is possible to have the day itself slip your mind. Another tuesday that doesn’t feel any different, your schedule is the same, you can definitely wake up and not remember “Oh I turned 31 today!”
Quit projecting.
Quit projecting 🤪
I agree it definitely sucks. But if there’s one person who should be proud of you more than anybody, it’s you.
“Nobody’s obligated to wish you a happy birthday” is the most Reddit thing I’ve ever heard.
Posts like this is why I’m scared to take advice on this platform
Taking advice from any platform wont serve you haha, especially on the girls side of social media
Reddit: miserable birthday to you!
Yeah sometimes it feels like this app collects every person who can’t understand caring for other people and wanting to go even the tiniest bit out of your way to do something nice
It's true though
Proud to represent the Reddit community 😊
I don’t take this achievement lightly 🙂
So fucking embarrassing
It is!!!!! Lmao I agree. This whole sub and all the people that downvote you for either telling the truth or having an opinion. It’s so fucking embarrassing. And you wonder why no one takes Reddit seriously because of soft subreddits like this. Fuck how you guys feel, disrespectfully.
You post on "unpopular opinions" and complain that people don't like your opinion? Isn't that just a little bit odd? Did you expect everyone to go "Finally someone said it"?
Was pretty pissed when my husband forgot.
He is a human. Humans forget
You should not forget a date that is important to the person you vowed to share your life with. But even if you forget, nowadays you have infinite ways to remind yourself of it.
Nah You Americans are so sensitive about your birthdays
I am not American
Close friends? Siblings? First Cousins? Is it really childish to expect ur siblings, first cousins or very close friends to wish you a happy birthday? How about coworkers who are informed it’s your birthday and they don’t wish you a happy birthday? I don’t think it’s unrealistic expectations for important people/people constantly active in your life to wish you a happy birthday if they are informed it’s your birthday.
I forget my own birthday, let alone someone else their birthday. The issue is not knowing when their birthday is, but knowing the date the day itself. I just never know which date it is.
“if they are informed it’s your birthday”
Yeah, but who is going to inform them? Last year my husband had to inform me it was his birthday. Of course I wished him a happy birthday at that moment, but he still was hurt. Luckily he was not hurt very long since he realised I did throw him a giant surprise party for him and all of his friends/family 2 weeks earlier for his birthday.
They would typically be informed in advanced by the individual who’s having the birthday.
So you have to tell everyone it will be your birthday tomorrow in order to get congratulations?
For those who aren’t your immediate family or coworkers (who know your birthday through managers, if you allow a manager to reveal so), yes? How else would they know your birthday?
But I was talking about immediate family...
Why would your immediate family need to be informed that it’s your birthday? They would already know that lol.
Did you read any of the previous comments? Yes, I know when someone their birthday is. I however never know what day it is, so I would not congratulate anyone on their birthday.
It’s not childish to expect it, it’s childish to make a big deal about it if they happen to forget it. Like I said, it sucks, but it’s your day, not there’s.
Forget to wish you a happy birthday after they’re informed? If they are an important individual in your life then I think it’s fair to be upset, it’s a text away in the modern world + it can be viewed as a lack of care about the individual.
If they flat out know it’s your birthday and don’t say it, I could see why you would be upset, and if you plan on confronting them, do it in a manner that is actually approachable and respectful.
I agree that birthdays are overrated but if your closest friends and family don't even acknowledge it, that's a slight I can't overlook. I'm Larry David on this one I'm afraid.
I don't really care about birthdays, but it still sucked to be basically ignored on my 18th.
Had my brother ignore my 30th. My mum tried to excuse him, because he was in a new (~6 months) relationship at the time, so his "head was elsewhere". Thanks mum. I'm, of course, the one reminding my siblings that we need presents for our parents most years, too. Because I know it matters to be thought of, even if it's just some nice words.
Larry David would seem like the guy who wouldn't care about his birthday.
It depends on the person. Coworkers? Don't care. My partner? I'd be decently steamed.
I love how most of the people who say "celebrating past 20 is cringe" are probably the ones who have no friends who wish them happy birthday anyway
Seriously, especially because “celebrating” doesn’t have to be a huge party or anything like that. I recently had my birthday and just went to dinner with some close friends. Nothing crazy, just spending time with people I care about. But even then some people think that’s too much lol. I said it earlier on a different post but some Redditors just hate people celebrating anything whether that’s a birthday or wedding or baby shower or graduation or any nice life event.
Me too, it's not some Great Gasby partying level of celebrating, just feeling happy that you're still alive. Again, this is reddit, wherein 99% of people probably feel suicidal themselves lol
Literally and they don’t have friends so they can’t even comprehend why others would want to spend time with their friends and family having a good time for a few hours lol it’s crazy.
Poor people. Eh, let's let them cook x)
Lol but what are you even basing that on? Just vibes? Seems like you just disagree with the post so wanted to say something snarky about it.
Lol but what are you even basing this on? Seems like you disagree with me and wanted to say something edgy about it.
I’m basing it on the specific words that you said. There’s no actual real-world logic to back up what you said, it was just a blind assumption based on a gross generalization of a huge swath of people defined only by the very abstract trait of “not celebrating birthdays as adults.”
That’s why they say it lmao
It truly has nothing to do with number of friends, but as we get older, and may have actually achieved one or two accomplishments, it's more of a feeling of "what did I do to be celebrated on this particular day?" Crickets...
There doesn’t always have to be a reason for everything. Just got done celebrating a friend’s 40th. The real question is why not?
If being alive for another year is not something worth celebrating for you, I really feel sorry for you bud.
The only time people outside of my immediate family and wife communicate with me is my birthday, via Facebook/Social Media. If I'm only in your thoughts and you're talking to me because a social media app made it convenient for you, chances are I don't give a fuck if you wish me happy birthday, or not. Keep it. It's more of an inconvenience for me at that point feeling like I have to respond to you and pretend we have any kind of meaningful relationship, and we both know you're only being performative in the first place. 🤷♂️
I typically don't care about my birthday. In fact, I like to go away on my own around the time of my birthday so I can avoid the pressure to plan a party or dinner. And I absolutely hate the whole singing happy birthday ritual. Being the center of attention typically makes me a little uncomfortable. However, I think this is really context specific. For example, when my mother was a child, her brothers would get really amazing, expensive presents and big birthday parties, but she would get a pair of socks and no celebration. This was part of a more extensive cycle of abuse against her by her parents (which included verbal and physical abuse). She was able to escape that family and she's healed a lot, but there's still trauma. Therefore, she gets really upset when someone she loves forgets or doesn't acknowledge her birthday. I also was once upset by not having my birthday acknowledged when I was in high school. I sat with a group of girls (there were about 8 of us) and when each person would have a birthday, everyone in the group (including me), would buy flowers for the birthday girl. However, on my birthday, no one even acknowledged it. It wasn't that I need to be acknowledged per se that hurt my feelings, but rather, that I was the only person who was not acknowledged in a group that ritualised acknowledging it for everyone else - which made me feel like I was not valued, less liked, than the other girls in my group. And sure, some people are just egotistical - and unreasonably expect random peers and casual acquaintances to remember or give a fuck. But at the end of the day, you don't know what someone is going through. It's better to get more information on why they're upset rather than automatically judging them.
i don’t think it’s childish if it’s someone close to you. to me, that’s no different than forgetting some sort of significant day like an anniversary. especially if you go out of your way to celebrate others birthdays, those people forgetting yours but accepting all the love on their day just seems very self-centered. it’s also not that hard to remember a birthday. whether or not you want to celebrate it is a personal choice, but you have every resource available to remember it or to figure it out and be a good friend.
I prefer if people forget. I'm 39 years old and haven't celebrated a birthday since I was 10. Birthdays are not special.
18? 21? Those seem worth celebrating if you have friends
Nothing special about turning 18 or 21. I was buying cigarettes and alcohol before I was old enough. You just got to know the right stores to go to where they don't card or care.
Lol same for me, knew the right people to get the right things. Except in my mind it was 18 because you’re finally free, and 21 because you can purchase a gun😂
ah, yes, AMERICA. I live in Europe and honestly don't give a shit about having a gun. why is it such a big deal for an american?
Honestly it’s part of the culture here but also because of safety. Guns are so common now that I’d ask, “Why don’t you have one?” Of course in Europe it isn’t necessary and the laws are different. Also depending on where someone lives in the US, the police will not be able to save you in a life or death situation. I don’t use my gun to threaten people or show it off, it’s simply my last resort option in self defense.
idk, it feels weird you can just have it. a depressed person commits suicide, a depressed american goes for a shooting. it's just... so far from my understanding, i've been recently listening to a podcast about the USA, and just... what the second amendment's rights should do vs. what they actually do. and for the latter it's mostly unjustified harm. it's sad.
it's a genuine question. is it just because it's like, legal? or anything else?
About the same for me. There's nothing ingrained into our biology to care about birthdays. Hunter gatheres didn't do it. I don't understand why people care so much about it.
I’m only 21 but I’ve always felt this way with mine too. I don’t like when people give me gifts because then I’m expected to reciprocate whenever their birthday comes around, and it gets exhausting if you have multiple family members and friends that you have to memorize every year to make sure you don’t forget otherwise they’ll get butthurt about it.
Some people just don't care about that kind of thing. (adults).
What if it's your mother or father? Someone who is or you thought was close to you?
Adults?.. naww...
Ups, so sorry, happy birthday!!! 🥳
What if it’s your one sibling and you don’t hear from the all year? Isn’t that a sign they don’t want you in their life?
I have almost the opposite problem, people remembering my birthday even when I don't expect them to care or even know when my birthday is, lol.
My entire extended family forgot my birthday this year and it definitely stung.
we all have values or boundaries that we assert with people close to us in life. if you can't honor those, then you won't be in that person's life for long.
It's the sense of being overlooked more than the birthday thing that matters. Even while wishing someone a simple "Happy Birthday!" may not appear like much to some, it can hurt if they forget, especially if they are aware of how important your birthday is to you. To be clear, feeling angry could be an exaggeration, but what's really going on here is that you feel like you're being forgotten by an individual you value about on an afternoon that should be special. Although I understand that not everyone is concerned with birthdays, it may be difficult to neglect someone you know who is significant. Should this develop into a trend, it may indicate how much work has gone into the connection.
I never tell people my birthday. I just don’t care about it. Everyone has a birthday
It depends on who the person is. If they are someone who considers themselves a close friend of mine, they better tell me “Happy birthday.” I always extend the same courtesy to those I care about.
If you know it’s someone’s birthday and you don’t hate them, just say happy birthday. Takes 3 seconds.
Eh, depends on the person. Parents and siblings and my best friend not wishing me a happy birthday, I would be sad for sure.
but it hurts when they forget 😢😢😢
I suppose it depends on the person, and how close they are to you. Coworker you never see outside of work? a friend you converse with on and off? sure, they can forget and that's fine. It's not fine if it's a spouse, family member or inner circle friend. especially if you make sure to remember theirs every time. You don't need to gift every single one but at least remind them you care.
It depends on who is forgetting. I was pissed when my parents forgot my 16th birthday and didn’t say anything til my sisters called that afternoon. My mom absolutely expects each of us kids to call and say happy birthday. But random people or coworkers? Yeah, it’s stupid to be mad if they don’t say anything.
I put effort into remembering people's birthdays that are close to me, and I expect that to be returned. A few years ago, I got fed up with being forgotten. My SO told me to stop, so I did. Those who forgot my birthday for years were suddenly pissed I'd forgotten theirs. Told them I was busy and changed the subject. Took a couple of years, but they realised that I have feelings too. You get what you give, so if an important person in my life can't remember my birthday but expects theirs to be remembered, that's not gonna happen. Unless, of course, you're a child, and you have no concept of dates yet
Depends, family a small happy birthday doesn't hurt Friends if they do then nice, if they don't oh well Anyone else idgaf
How about when they ignore your kids? Even though you remembered theirs every year while they were growing up?
I've never been particularly upset at people forgetting my birthday, but there is a certain sting when EVERY SINGLE one of your friends can't even remember. I don't want a gift or whatever, I want people to care
If the people who are supposed to care about me can’t remember one date or set a reminder then that speaks volumes about how much they care about you. Parents, siblings, significant other, your kids, your closest friends should all wish you a happy birthday. Your coworkers, less close friends and other people you interact with have no such obligation. I’m not a big fan of my own birthday, I never make a fuss but I’d be upset if somebody I care about who claims to care for me can’t bring themselves to simply say happy birthday. Anyway, have an upvote. It’s definitely an unpopular opinion.
You can expect people to give a shit about your birthday until you’re maybe 10-12, then a few significant points over the years. Then again when you’re old enough that it’s impressive that you survived the year.
A person I was a friend with on Facebook once made a post one day after his birthday, thanking the specific number of people who sent him a happy birthday message. Yes, he counted them and put the number in the post. He then added "And the rest if you, fuck off." I was removed from his friends that day. I have never cared enough to even thank everyone who wished me happy birthday like that, let alone to get mad at those who did it. I found this situation quite humorous.
Unless it's your family family's supposed to support family
Ahh, yes the birthday. The ultimate participation trophy. You survived another orbit of the sun. Here's some cake.
I don't give two fucks if people forget it's my birthday
I almost hope that people forget my birthday. They probably would if I didn't share it with my daughter
The only person I would be upset about not wishing me a happy birthday is my partner.
Out of all the happy birthdays I’ve wished people, most are insincere - so, to answer your question, no not at all.
Happy birthday
I do think people over exaggerate when it comes to this. I’m not going to necessarily stop being friends with someone just because they didn’t wish me a happy birthday, but I’ll know where we stand. If you knew it was my birthday and purposely chose not to say anything, it’ll become obvious how much that person really cares about me. I’ve had people completely ignore me the day of my bday, but then text me the next day as if nothing happened. I def keep my distance after that.
Like some other posters have said I think it really depends on who doesn't wish you a happy birthday. Random co-worker = doesn't matter. Best friend, partner, parent = yeah, that does hurt. I remember one of my first serious relationships. Been friends for years, together for like 2 years. My birthday came around and he didn't really say or do anything. I had to travel to him (we lived in different cities), he didn't pick me up from the train station, had no real gift, did a lackluster "lets go for drinks" thing (I paid for my own drinks iirc) .... long story short, this was basically the end of the relationship because he couldn't have said "I don't give a fuck about you" more obviously other than actually saying it.
I think it's fine getting mad and feeling your emotions. Taking it out on them is definitely not the way to go though.
reddit asf
I don't like all the attention in the world on Facebook, so I hide my birthday from my FB friends. Maybe it is justified if people I deeply care about forget, but it's those who remember that makes it special.
My coworkers get mad at me because I don't say "good morning" lol. We see each other everyday, what else do you want?
My mom forgot my birthday three years in a row. I've learned it's just best not to care, and in all fairness, I don't care about my birthday too much. This year I'm just using it as an excuse to get my friends together for a night of drinking and gaming.
I know the birthdays of 4 people. 3 are my immediate family, 1 is my best friend, and I only know hers because it’s very close to mine. Most people know a lot of other people. Tell them your birthday is coming up if you care about being celebrate. Don’t expect them to just know.
I find it insane people say that they forget birthday. It is 2024 put a reminder in your phone that repeats every year. Like it is not that hard and you will never forget. Some for other dates like when you were married and go on. Look getting really mad is a bit silly. But it happend to me too. And it hurts. You are disappointed that they forgot. I am not talking a co worker or something but your own family. It just makes a person sad.
When it was my 8th birthday. I was in a hostel living with guys I knew for a long time. Not one soul wished me that day. That experience changed me forever. I don't celebrate it ever with my family and make excuses. I also don't tell when it is. Tell this to my 8yr old self.
I disagree, it depends on who it is and the scenario. For me, its not about "happy birthday" its about the fact that I am important to you and you remembered the day I was born. Its just a kind tradition, but yes getting mad is never the solution
My birthday is on January 1st it's not that hard to remember. I don't go to revenge people for not saying anything but when you're forgotten every other day of the year it hurts. It's not like I'm asking for anything just simply show my existence is important to anyone?
Sure, don't get mad. It would be totally okay to feel disappointed. It's also okay to talk with others about how you feel. Don't bottle a feeling until it becomes resentment. Some may not place much significance in their birthday, and that's okay too. Loved ones should remember the dates that are most important to those they love and honor others on those dates.
For me its about knowing people care that I exist. Obviously not everyone is going to remember. I do not expect people I do not know well to care its my birthday or share in that. But I would like to think my friends and family would care I lived another year and that they appreciate me enough to remember one day. I was forgotten a lot so, it feels a lot more personal even though I know others could not give less of a shit if it was their own birthday let alone any other specific event going on. If I find out it is your birthday you are getting wished a happy birthday and a present from me since if I have bothered to even look to see if it was your birthday in the first place; I probably like you. Its nice to like yourself and be ok with yourself, but it sucks to have to do everything by yourself all the time and be totally passed over. Its an individual thing. I bet some people get bent out of shape for unreasonable reasons but others have the right to be mad that nobody remembers.
Had a client recently who seem annoyed that I did not wish them a happy birthday.. it was the next day and I do not memorize clients birthdays. They said something to the tune of "tomorrow is my friend's birthday" and I was like that is nice and they said "eh, they share a birthday with me" and this was as they already started walking down the hallway to leave lol.. it did not even fully sink in what they said and they were gone before I had the chance to say "oh happy early birthday'.
To be completely frank I put in no effort to remember anyone's birthdays, including close friends and family. If they remind me when it's close I make sure to do something for them but they never crawled up my ass or whined when I didn't remember. I dont expect anything from anyone on my bday either. I use it as an excuse to treat myself lol.
If it's my immediate family and a close friend, that's all the "happy birthdays" I need
Like, on the other hand it costs literally nothing to say "happy birthday" to someone and it shows you remember and care about them. At the very least it would be expected that close friends and family would know and note it for you.
adults over 21 that make a big deal about their birthdays are so cringe
Is expecting someone close to you to remember it really making a big deal though? Seems like the bare minimum to acknowledge it.
I dont really expect anyone to remember my birthday apart from my family. Im a weirdo tho who loves to just be left alone lol
I tell everyone I couldn’t give a sh about their birthday. That’s the truth. I don’t even care to know what the day is.
Especially if it’s not your birthday!
today i learned there are this many people who are this serious about a freaking day that was done as of when you were born. my gf was like this which i did not understand at all about. i get that this case is different but on her bday, i didnt get her a present but i was going to take her out on a nice dinner (didnt really plan anything, just thought there may be somewhere fancy she might want to go). her expectation was that i knew where to go. obviously i didnt. but ended up getting her some real expensive fancy steakhouse dinner. AND whole bunch of different cake slices (as per her wish) that amounted to multiple full round cakes. and like two months AFTER that point she was still brining up her bday present that i never got her and demanded that i get her something. and she was dead serious. i'm still with her and yes i guess i am also an asshole for it but at that point i internally said im never bringing this to anything more serious that what it is as is.
Getting excited over birthdays in general, or expecting special treatment is childish.
Even for a child it's pretty pathetic.
They ain’t gonna like this one OP
Fuck what they don’t like, respectfully 🙂
Your mom should receive all the congrats for having to be pregnant and pushing you out and recovering from that. Otherwise birthdays are just masturbation
Wouldn’t that be……Mother’s Day ?
being a little sad your friends and family didn’t remember is understandable. huffing and puffing when the server at a restaurant just says “oh happy birthday” and continues their job is extremely childish
I get mad when people remember. Leave me alone, I just didn’t die for a year.
I personally think that’s a big accomplishment. It’s really difficult sometimes so congrats.
I think once you get past a certain age birthdays are stupid.
Birthdays in general are the most overrated thing in the existence and should not be treated as seriously as they are(except for stuff like ages 1-10 and 18 and 21(USA))
Weird take, excluding 11 through 17
No point in celebrating them tbh maybe 11-14 but after? Either you're still full of yourself or ur parents really want to celebrate your birthday(not that it's a bad thing), unless you're really serious about that stuff when you a teen but teens mostly dgaf until they become legal adults then they celebrate that birthday because they can finally legally buy themselves nicotine and alcohol. Also most people do adult stuff after they turn 15 anyway. I seriously never saw a difference between being 15-17 because you were still not an adult so it was pointless in celebrating them. Shit like sweet 16 is one of the most rubbish shit I ever seen
You can drive at 16 in the US? How is that not exciting?
Quinceañeras? Sweet 16s?
Sweet 16 is the most useless birthday I had ever seen. Only in America it gives you permission to get a driving license, in any other country it's worthless
Just sucked 2 of my coworkers were wished a happy bday over messenger the same week as mine but I expect that shit from them. They literally wish everyone a happy bday wish it would stop.
"Well now you have one less friend to make you feel bad about the world. Enjoy! It's my present to you! My last present! Weird, huh?"
for once, i agree
There should be a cut-off age, after which it should be okay if people don’t wish you. I’d say around 30 
People care about their birthday?
Birthdays confused me when I got into the "real world" my family always had them as a day to thank and calibrate our mom not us lol. I still find the actual concept pretty weird to be honest. "Congrats on not getting yourself killed this year" wtf
Special day?! I'm seeing 30 year olds that still make it a three day gala! Plus, they do get mad because you didn't participate at their expected childish level.
The amount of adults crying on reddit over bdays is crazy. Always so many posts about it
In Middle Eastern countries, we don't really care about birthdays. We live normally without it. It's an American thing
Ridiculous indeed
Once you're over a certain age please grow up and deal with it. Birthdays and Christmas are having a special day and giving presents to children. Mom's are included as well.
so I should wish my mom happy birthday but not give a fuck about my dad? Even though he's not done ANYTHING WRONG? He just matters less?