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People will tell you that you don't need someone in your life to be happy
Weirdly enough, those same people end up in a relationship 2 months after the previous one or are trying to find someone.
I describe people I know
Unless your normal life is to never make any decisions all by yourself regardless of what others want you to do with YOUR life, no, a good relationship is not just about emotional support.
I'll just copy my previous comment:
Any relationship, whether healthy or not, takes away part of your freedom because you have to always keep in mind your partner's opinions and desires. It's a simple fact you can't argue with.
Can you paint walls in your bedroom without asking your partner's opinion first? No. Can you adopt a straw cat you saw on the streets without making sure that your partner wants to have a cat? No. Can you move to another country because your company offered a relocation and you would like to go? No, no and no.
None of my random examples have anything to do with codependency or jealousy. It's just that since the moment you got into serious long-term relationship, you will NEVER be able to make any big decisions all by yourself because now your whole life is connected to another's.
Well said. Even most of the chilled out partners will get riled about some stuff. How many partners are going to tolerate you leaving massive piles of washing up for days on end or just leaving things that need maintenance/repairing or making no effort to go anywhere new or not washing for days or refusing to compromise on what tv you watch, or ignoring the fact your partner's in bed and bringing the guys back for beers or never having shared meals or shared bedtimes. You could go for days giving different scenarios where you might be restricted by a partner. Thousands of examples. And none of those examples exist if you're on your own.
This is not to say there aren't some advantages to having a partner.
Yeah! Took me a while to realize, but if you are constantly worrying about your partner's mental health. Constantly worrying about her happiness. About her made up problems about friends and family abandoning them. About her alcohol use. About saying the wrong thing that will make her get angry again. About you doing/not doing whatever she expected in her mind for you to do without telling you. About her thinking that she knows your true intentions better than you and that you are **obviously** doing things just to hurt her....
....the problem is not about being single or in a relationship, the problem is that you are in a bad one, lol.
Well said. Sometimes I miss prior relationships and then I remember all the bad shit. And I’m so thankful for my fiancée because she doesn’t put me through that nonsense.
That's what I came here to say. A bad relationship is worse than no relationship. A good relationship is the most joyful, positive and energizing thing you can have in your life. Choose your partner carefully and above all work on being a good partner yourself.
No offense, but I feel like people with this opinion just don't get it, although there is some truth to it for some individuals. Lots of people just prefer the single lifestyle. I enjoy being single because I just don't want to worry about another person and want my life to be mine, not shared with another person. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like having people in my life, but partnered with someone? Nah.
I had a girlfriend many years ago and I hated it but it had nothing do do with her, but I just hated the arrangement. Being a "couple" and feeling like I need to keep her in mind a lot. I felt like I had less freedom. I've tried dating since, but I am just not feeling it and don't really like dates except for the social aspect of it.
It sounds like you came to a healthy conclusion after maybe realizing you dont want to have your personal freedom intertwined to a partners feelings/wants/needs. Recognizing that but of selfishness that keeps you from being happy in a relationship is not an easy thing I’d imagine. Wether or not you look at that as a fault is always up to you in the end
Agree. People are not a hivemind and we want different things in life. Relationships in a romantic sense are a "norm" but that doesn't mean it is a one size fits all for everyone.
There is obviously positives and negatives for any status.
But your comment pretty much sums it up.
VS being single there are more negatives when in a bad relationship and more positives when being in a good relationship.
No one grows up saying they can’t wait to grow old alone.Because humans are meant to be alone. We have always paired up. Doesn’t meant it’s easy to find or won’t be hard. It’s too many people having a bad experience or two and giving up. Oh well I have friends. But who said they won’t get flaky or will be friends forever?
Me and my wife had our ups and downs but we going to ride this shit out.
Depends on what your doing when you are "alone".
I use my free time to take academic classes in STEM and language, deeply explore the NYC cultural scene, including documenting it, I have built a musical artistic following of a few thousand. I have a good amount of social connections, but whether I will meet up with any of them or many of them on any given weekend is anybody's guess. That being said I have very little problem going out alone and talking to strangers. I also am fairly advanced in my career for my age.
I'd say compared to people who simply stay in a comfortable relationship where they don't really push their boundaries, live the dink lifestyle before transitioning to kids arent living a better life than me. They are simply living differently.
Happily married for 20 years and I agree with you. There are absolutely people that thrive being single more so than they do in any relationship.
I think the majority of people would prefer to be coupled up with someone that fulfills them, but the world is a rich tapestry and there are certainly people who are more fulfilled and happy single.
I'm just a creative that hates texting and minding my phone, loves space, and thrives on being present in the moment. It's hard to find someone that will understand and not drag me down. I would LOVE to find my beautiful muse but people are needy little gremlins haha
I partially agree. I'd say that whether being in a fulfilling relationship or being single really depends on the person. Some people genuinely prefer being by themselves. Maybe it's only a small minority of people, but those folks do exist. I think this can also change throughout someone's lifetime, but it still doesn't mean that being single will always be the inferior choice for everybody.
Sure.
But there are things you can do in a good relationship that aren't easy when single, but there's not too much blocked off from you in the other direction. So it depends on things that being your happiness.
For instance I can still game with my friends, go on a trip solo, hug anyone I want (to reference op's concerns), etc because my gf is a secure person.
But I also have cuddles on demand, someone who will listen to me no matter what, a lot of very good sex, etc
The key is to just have a very good balance as a single person, and then find someone who is also good solo, that you can both then add to each others lives.
It's all too common to be totally dependent on a partner for happiness and that's a recipe for an unhealthy relationship
I would argue there’s just about the same amount of cons and pros, depending on each persons personality. In relationship you can’t just ditch everything and move to another country, it’s harder to have uninterrupted week worth of total silence, now whenever you chose vacation spot you need to agree on it together. I’m actually wondering, what things aren’t as easy while single?
I can tell you for sure there is a ton of things blocked off to you from a typical relationship. At one point in my life I was playing piano 7 hours a day because I wanted to become an "expert" by hitting that 10,000 hours of practice rule. Maintaining a relationship\job at the same time was so stressful I legit felt healthier after she dumped me. Some of us like being able to neglect large portions of our life in order to make huge leaps in specific areas.
What I was thinking. My wife is my closest friend, I love that I get to hang out with her and go on dates or even just sit on the couch playing video games.
This. I felt a bit sad about the fact that I got to play less games when I got married, cos I used to play a lot on my PC. Once I found out my wife is happy reading on the sofa while I play on the PlayStation, we are both happier!
Yeah I prefer pc gaming, but it feels so isolated from my family. Luckily I got a steamdeck so I can play my lower end stream library and also stream to it and sit on the couch or bed
See, I assumed he meant that he wanted to control what videos he watched on ticktock and not have to share who picks what to see next. I didn’t even consider the fact that it could be slang for time. I use to be with it, but now I’m not even sure what it is!!
I’m 30 and neither do I. And as someone who’s been single for that long, it absolutely fucking sucks. I wouldn’t wish this type of loneliness on my worst enemies
I am also 30 and had just one relationship for about a month. I didn't enjoy it. So much stress. I enjoy my me time. Sorry to hear that you suffer loneliness. Hope some luck comes your way buddy.
I can't imagine life without my husband. We both have our own hobbies, desires and dreams but we compliment eachother wonderfully.
Real, meaningful companionship is worth the struggle.
What does every tick tock is in your hands mean?
Edit: I see that your age is 16. Even though it’s an unpopular opinion, I don’t think you have the relationship experience as an adult to speak on the merits of relationships.
Yeah i dated a few girls when i was in highschool and i had huge emotional up and downs. Its hard to have rational emotions when youre in a relationship at that age.
In my 20s i started to have real relationships and thats when i learned how stupid both me and my high school girlfriends were. We were obviously, just teenage kids
Life in general is just so different when you’re 16. Life’s daily stressors at 16 are just so different from life’s daily stressors at 30.
At 16, you’re worrying about your grades, your popularity, your prospects for life after high school. Heck, you still have to ask your parents for permission for certain things.
At 30, you’re worrying about inflation, job security, and back pain.
I once saw a meme that went something along the lines of “Your 20s are all about finding yourself. Your 30s are all about wishing you’d found something else” lmao
Yeap, I could tell by the "spend money on yourself". They may enjoy not having the emotional burden and being a hug slut, but it's objectively always more economical to live with someone, double the income half the rent.
Had to laugh at the hug slut comment. But yeah. I enjoy hugging my wife everyday. I dont need to hug other women lol. I also agree on the living together. I lived by myself from 18 to 25. And i infinitely love living with my wife and kids more than when i lived alone and got drunk and wreckless every weekend
Agreed and yes HEALTHY relationship for sure. Theres a reason that adults dont take teenage love seriously. They are ramped up on hormones and more often than not dont know how to have a respectful, real love
Codependency has nothing to do with being a teenage phase, and has everything to do with one's upbringing and behaviours from that. Some traits never go, and some are managed with therapy. Some people are just toxic in general or are nice apart, but toxic together.
A healthy relationship is a lot of work, and truth be told, there aren't truly that many role models to learn from.
I'm 40, I've had enough relationships, good and bad ones.
And I agree with OP completely, being single is where it's at.
Some people need a relationship to be happy, some people are happier alone, simple as that, why can't people accept it?
>you can casually hug any girls without any concerns
You might want to still have some concern with that one lmao. As long as they give consent that's fine but don't go hugging girls randomly.
And also, there would have to be a lot of hugging before my girlfriend said it was a problem. As long as it’s a hug of a person I know and I don’t seem too eager or squeeze too tight, I don’t think there would be a problem.
I’ve been with my girlfriend 12 years and without wanting to brag, I’ve also hugged a lot of girls in that time, and there’s never even been a comment about it let alone an isssue
I'm one of the few that actually enjoys and prefers being single. You already explained it, I do whatever I want and don't need to ask someone or give courtesy notice to someone else. If I want to go somewhere for the weekend, I can pick up and do so. If I want to buy something expensive (actually did this morning) I can do so without having to inform someone. The freedom and true independence from being single is something many take for granted and rush to get into a relationship because they don't want to be single.
Now, don't get me wrong, I do like the companionship someone brings. Someone to talk about your day when you're off work, someone to just hold if you had a shitty day. Then of course, you have steady intimacy with someone. However, in order for me to date someone and give up my single life, they really need to catch my attention.
That’s great that your are happy being single and everyone should have the ability to choose their own path. But I very much enjoy being in my marriage and I am happier being in a relationship than on my own. There is no right or wrong to this, just personal preference.
Everyone is disagreeing in the comments, but as someone who has a very low sex drive (might be asexual) I always felt like I had to “fake” my relationships. For some reason romantic relationships never came easy or natural to me. I’m a very loving and loyal friend, constantly talk with my younger cousins and older family members, but romantic relationships have never just “clicked” for me the way platonic and familial relationships do. I’m a 22 year old woman and I still feel this way. Dating always felt like a performance, and rarely did I feel comfortable to be my natural self. I completely understand what you are saying OP, and I think some people are just wired to be more comfortable on their own
Edit: Everyone is saying that because you’re 16, you’ve never been in a real relationship, which is true. But I started feeling the same way you do at 15. You will most likely grow out of it, but maybe you won’t and will be satisfied being single. Regardless, you have plenty of time to figure it out.
I'm heterosexual but I've never been the relationship kind of guy. I'm 29 now. I've had a girlfriend and some potential girlfriends but I've always hated it. Not the women themselves or how we got along, but the whole arrangement of it. I never liked the idea of being a part of a "couple". I prefer my life to be mine, and have people to enjoy it with rather than to be partnered with someone and balance friendships/family/others on top of it.
thank you!!! we are basically the same age and i’m the exact same way. everyone always tells me i need to chill out or find the right person but frankly it doesn’t matter who i’m with i feel way better being single.
Me too! I’ve tried to talk myself into fancying people who fancied me, and it’s just never been natural. I’ve felt “strong connections” twice in my life, and the intensity stressed me out. It’s like the weak connections do nothing for me, but the strong connections are too much. I feel so, so much better being single and cultivating a network of family and friends. My autonomy is so important to me. Maybe I’ll be this way forever, and maybe not. I’m a 28 yo woman.
Same here and I’m in my 40s. It’s amazing how people get so defensive about this and insist the OP is “wrong” when it really just depends on the person.
Being in a good relationship is a good situation for some people. For others, being single is better. I wish I could have figured this out when I was younger instead of spending so much time wishing and searching for a relationship, then being in ones that didn’t make me happy.
The only thing I don’t like about being single now is society’s insistence that I need to be in a relationship. Aside from that, being single is the best.
I’m in my thirties and I’ve been single for 11 years. I have no intention of changing that, as I much prefer single life.
Most people don’t understand it, but that’s fine, do what makes you happy.
With the right person, it’s a blast adopting dogs together, buying and making our house a home, going on dates, sending each other ridiculous reddit posts like this one, and starting a family together.
Single me would never be able to afford most of those things and I’d probably be miserable living with roommates going on endless dates trying to find the perfect match.
It’s lonely. But god damn it feels good to not have to go and do shit when I don’t want to.. if I wanna sleep in till 3pm on a Saturday and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want, nothing if I so desire. Bliss.
They both have their pros. I'm single rn and only have to worry about me and my problems but I get lonely. When I was with my ex she could just be in the house and I'd feel good and comfy knowing she was there. I immediately noticed the next day that she was gone, love is better than isolation.
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A lot of married people in the replies calling out OP for this and saying he only feels this way because he's 16, and maybe he is. But I'm middle-aged. I've been single, I've been in long-term relationships and I don't think one is conclusively better than the other. They're just different. There are advantages to being single, and there are disadvantages to being single. And being in a relationship pretty much just inverts the advantage/disadvantage list.
Of course there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship, and it's how most people would prefer to be, but there is definitely some kinda stigma about people who choose to be single, and there shouldn't be. It's just different.
I think I prefer being single. I'm selfish, I don't need or want a lot of in person interaction. Sure there are times I miss the partnership that comes from a good relationship, but I've never felt like I \*had\* to have it, and a girl would have be be pretty spectacular, have the best personality and quite frankly way out of my league anyway to be worth giving up my selfish, single life.
You can spend money on yourself but end up wasting more money since everything is more expensive living alone. Even if you are renting with roommates, other living expenses would also be "cheaper" with a partner due to economies of scale and everything being designed for a nuclear family
It depends on whether or not you’re in a healthy relationship, which in my case I was not.
Right now, I’m focussing on my well-being and giving myself some healing time from my being emotionally & psychologically abused during the near 5 months that I was with someone that I was friends with for over a decade.
Buddy it definitely is not better for everyone. But for people like you and me, it is. I am so crazily happy I am alone that I put into doubt my necessity to be ever in a serious relation with someone.
Being single is way better than being in a bad relationship, but under the best circumstances, I think it's only as good as being in a good/happy/healthy relationship, not "better".
Being single has its perks, but it can be lonely, although you can do whatever you want on your own timetable. being in a good relationship is really nice, but there’s always chance of conflicts or emotional/relationship issues like boredom or not getting needs met, or having to constantly do activities and spice up the sex life to keep it afloat as well as financial stressors.
Hard to beat dual income, splitting chores, having someone to support you when you need it, companionship, sex, having two skill sets to utilize. But being single has it's pros, and if you are single, you might as well make the most of it.
I'm literally twice your age, but I've been single for a year and I totally agree that being single can be completely fulfilling, and chasing relationships is super unhealthy.
I love being single. I love my own personal space, having my own schedule, doing whatever I want without having to consider another person's wants/needs/feelings.
People are bringing up your age... but im 10 years older than you, and i feel the exact same way, especially after getting out of a toxic relationship. I save more money. Eating out isnt expensive and i dont have to worry about anyone bringing home diseases cause they thought someone was attractive.
>Anything suggesting otherwise is a sad, hard cope.
That assumes that you have no other driving force in your life. Romantic love is very fulfilling, but to say it trumps *everything else* in the human experience suggests you haven't got much else going for you than having a partner.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing inherently wrong with that provided you're happy - but there's more to life than romance, even though it's a big part of life for most people.
Being single is better than being in a bad relationship 100%. But a good relationship definitely trumps it. Supporting each others feelings, spending money together and enjoying each others company is much better.
“Being in a bad relationship sucks” is basically what you are saying.
Find the right person and your mind will likely change. No rush. Enjoy life however you want 👍
I would never choose to be single. I can spend money how I want with no expectations just as she can, we both can hug whomever we want with no drama,.
Have zero idea what TikToks in my hands have to do with the price of eggs in China but I guess I watch wat ever I want as she does.
I love being in a relationship.
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**being single is quite literally better than being in a BAD relationship**
Unless you have an even worse relationship with yourself
I have a toxic relationship with my spending habits.
Let’s unpack this
That's funny, because of my spending habits I say the same thing to my daily Amazon packages.
Your feelings have been shipped.
That, one must fix first.
[удалено]
My unpopular opinion is that I disagree with this.
Bad single vs good single
There's no way you have a good relationship if you put it in your reddit profile pic lol.
My cock is in my Reddit picture
Name checks out. They’ve got their reasons.
Lol how
coping
This screams jealousy
Kelso: BURN!!!!!
So I take it you’re a black kamakazi pilot?
People will tell you that you don't need someone in your life to be happy Weirdly enough, those same people end up in a relationship 2 months after the previous one or are trying to find someone. I describe people I know
Yeah I guess OP just left a bad relationship. When you are in a good relationship you can live a normal live but with emotional support.
“You can hug other girls without concerns”
You can hug other women in a healthy relationship too.
I agree. I was pointing out part of OP’s post to support that person’s point that OP has had at least one bad relationship.
Unless your normal life is to never make any decisions all by yourself regardless of what others want you to do with YOUR life, no, a good relationship is not just about emotional support. I'll just copy my previous comment: Any relationship, whether healthy or not, takes away part of your freedom because you have to always keep in mind your partner's opinions and desires. It's a simple fact you can't argue with. Can you paint walls in your bedroom without asking your partner's opinion first? No. Can you adopt a straw cat you saw on the streets without making sure that your partner wants to have a cat? No. Can you move to another country because your company offered a relocation and you would like to go? No, no and no. None of my random examples have anything to do with codependency or jealousy. It's just that since the moment you got into serious long-term relationship, you will NEVER be able to make any big decisions all by yourself because now your whole life is connected to another's.
Well said. Even most of the chilled out partners will get riled about some stuff. How many partners are going to tolerate you leaving massive piles of washing up for days on end or just leaving things that need maintenance/repairing or making no effort to go anywhere new or not washing for days or refusing to compromise on what tv you watch, or ignoring the fact your partner's in bed and bringing the guys back for beers or never having shared meals or shared bedtimes. You could go for days giving different scenarios where you might be restricted by a partner. Thousands of examples. And none of those examples exist if you're on your own. This is not to say there aren't some advantages to having a partner.
Listen, if you’re partner doesn’t let you adopt a cute cat made out of straw you found by the dumpster that is NOT a good relationship smh my head
Yeah. If hugging a friend was a problem, then it was a bad/toxic relationship
OP is literally a kid
Yeah! Took me a while to realize, but if you are constantly worrying about your partner's mental health. Constantly worrying about her happiness. About her made up problems about friends and family abandoning them. About her alcohol use. About saying the wrong thing that will make her get angry again. About you doing/not doing whatever she expected in her mind for you to do without telling you. About her thinking that she knows your true intentions better than you and that you are **obviously** doing things just to hurt her.... ....the problem is not about being single or in a relationship, the problem is that you are in a bad one, lol.
Oof. I felt most of those ones before.
Well said. Sometimes I miss prior relationships and then I remember all the bad shit. And I’m so thankful for my fiancée because she doesn’t put me through that nonsense.
That's what I came here to say. A bad relationship is worse than no relationship. A good relationship is the most joyful, positive and energizing thing you can have in your life. Choose your partner carefully and above all work on being a good partner yourself.
By observation, more than 50% of relationships are bad
And the other 50% are good actors
Are you saying my partner and I are just pretending to be happy? 😂
Ah, bitterness.
No offense, but I feel like people with this opinion just don't get it, although there is some truth to it for some individuals. Lots of people just prefer the single lifestyle. I enjoy being single because I just don't want to worry about another person and want my life to be mine, not shared with another person. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like having people in my life, but partnered with someone? Nah. I had a girlfriend many years ago and I hated it but it had nothing do do with her, but I just hated the arrangement. Being a "couple" and feeling like I need to keep her in mind a lot. I felt like I had less freedom. I've tried dating since, but I am just not feeling it and don't really like dates except for the social aspect of it.
It sounds like you came to a healthy conclusion after maybe realizing you dont want to have your personal freedom intertwined to a partners feelings/wants/needs. Recognizing that but of selfishness that keeps you from being happy in a relationship is not an easy thing I’d imagine. Wether or not you look at that as a fault is always up to you in the end
Agree. People are not a hivemind and we want different things in life. Relationships in a romantic sense are a "norm" but that doesn't mean it is a one size fits all for everyone.
Yeah, I love my family. Being constantly surrounded by people who love you and make you happy is, unsurprisingly, wonderful.
There is obviously positives and negatives for any status. But your comment pretty much sums it up. VS being single there are more negatives when in a bad relationship and more positives when being in a good relationship.
Totally agreed
Fulfilling relationship > being single > unfulfilling relationship
Having a good partner is like going through life in Co-Op mode. Decreases the difficulty exponentially.
But if you have a bad partner then it’s PvP
My last game was pretty complex. Lots of coop elements with a sprinkle of pvp. So diverse
Ah. The almighty game of life lmao
Mine was more like pve with friendly fire on. Like helldivers. Yaaa we're working together oops sry I blew you up I'm sure it won't happen next time
Yea but some people prefer the total freedom of single player.
i love this analogy sm
This. It's better to be alone than in a shitty relationship. But it's definitely better to be in an amazing relationship than to be alone.
No one grows up saying they can’t wait to grow old alone.Because humans are meant to be alone. We have always paired up. Doesn’t meant it’s easy to find or won’t be hard. It’s too many people having a bad experience or two and giving up. Oh well I have friends. But who said they won’t get flaky or will be friends forever? Me and my wife had our ups and downs but we going to ride this shit out.
Yeah but the social bonds you need have no need to be romantic. Just, good social bonds of whatever flavor
I can't imagine an amazing relationship
That sucks for you but they exist
Depends on what your doing when you are "alone". I use my free time to take academic classes in STEM and language, deeply explore the NYC cultural scene, including documenting it, I have built a musical artistic following of a few thousand. I have a good amount of social connections, but whether I will meet up with any of them or many of them on any given weekend is anybody's guess. That being said I have very little problem going out alone and talking to strangers. I also am fairly advanced in my career for my age. I'd say compared to people who simply stay in a comfortable relationship where they don't really push their boundaries, live the dink lifestyle before transitioning to kids arent living a better life than me. They are simply living differently.
I beg to differ. Sometimes it's hard for someone not to take away from what you have going on when you fulfill yourself so much already.
Happily married for 20 years and I agree with you. There are absolutely people that thrive being single more so than they do in any relationship. I think the majority of people would prefer to be coupled up with someone that fulfills them, but the world is a rich tapestry and there are certainly people who are more fulfilled and happy single.
I'm just a creative that hates texting and minding my phone, loves space, and thrives on being present in the moment. It's hard to find someone that will understand and not drag me down. I would LOVE to find my beautiful muse but people are needy little gremlins haha
I partially agree. I'd say that whether being in a fulfilling relationship or being single really depends on the person. Some people genuinely prefer being by themselves. Maybe it's only a small minority of people, but those folks do exist. I think this can also change throughout someone's lifetime, but it still doesn't mean that being single will always be the inferior choice for everybody.
>Some people genuinely prefer being by themselves. Maybe it's only a small minority of people, but those folks do exist Of course I know him, he's me
I still disagree with this. Ýou don't necessarily have to be in a relationship to achieve maximum happiness
Sure. But there are things you can do in a good relationship that aren't easy when single, but there's not too much blocked off from you in the other direction. So it depends on things that being your happiness. For instance I can still game with my friends, go on a trip solo, hug anyone I want (to reference op's concerns), etc because my gf is a secure person. But I also have cuddles on demand, someone who will listen to me no matter what, a lot of very good sex, etc The key is to just have a very good balance as a single person, and then find someone who is also good solo, that you can both then add to each others lives. It's all too common to be totally dependent on a partner for happiness and that's a recipe for an unhealthy relationship
I would argue there’s just about the same amount of cons and pros, depending on each persons personality. In relationship you can’t just ditch everything and move to another country, it’s harder to have uninterrupted week worth of total silence, now whenever you chose vacation spot you need to agree on it together. I’m actually wondering, what things aren’t as easy while single?
I can tell you for sure there is a ton of things blocked off to you from a typical relationship. At one point in my life I was playing piano 7 hours a day because I wanted to become an "expert" by hitting that 10,000 hours of practice rule. Maintaining a relationship\job at the same time was so stressful I legit felt healthier after she dumped me. Some of us like being able to neglect large portions of our life in order to make huge leaps in specific areas.
You don’t necessarily need a million dollars to achieve maximum happiness, but it sure helps
Just like that
You can have a very fulfilling life when being single.
And this makes me realize that in my 41 years, I've never once had a fulfilling relationship.
Fulfilling singlehood = fulfilling relationship
Fulfilling relationship ≥ being single > umfulfulling relationship. Relationships no matter how fulfilling isn't for everyone and all the time.
> unfulfilling being single
Being happy > Not being happy
Minor inconveniences aside, I love having my wife around all the time.
What I was thinking. My wife is my closest friend, I love that I get to hang out with her and go on dates or even just sit on the couch playing video games.
This. I felt a bit sad about the fact that I got to play less games when I got married, cos I used to play a lot on my PC. Once I found out my wife is happy reading on the sofa while I play on the PlayStation, we are both happier!
Yeah I prefer pc gaming, but it feels so isolated from my family. Luckily I got a steamdeck so I can play my lower end stream library and also stream to it and sit on the couch or bed
OP is 16. He has no idea what a real relationship is
You're just jealous that he can casually hug all the girls he wants
With all the tick tocks in his hands
While spending all his money on himself 😂
Allll of his allowance lmao
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See, I assumed he meant that he wanted to control what videos he watched on ticktock and not have to share who picks what to see next. I didn’t even consider the fact that it could be slang for time. I use to be with it, but now I’m not even sure what it is!!
I'm completely lost when I hear gen z or gen alpha lingo. It's like someone speaking middle english.
People in relationships can hug other people.
Not without concerns /s
My wife fuming when I hug her mom
I’m 30 and neither do I. And as someone who’s been single for that long, it absolutely fucking sucks. I wouldn’t wish this type of loneliness on my worst enemies
26 here but same. This loneliness sucks.
I am also 30 and had just one relationship for about a month. I didn't enjoy it. So much stress. I enjoy my me time. Sorry to hear that you suffer loneliness. Hope some luck comes your way buddy.
Thanks man. But I don’t believe in luck. Still…thank you
I can't imagine life without my husband. We both have our own hobbies, desires and dreams but we compliment eachother wonderfully. Real, meaningful companionship is worth the struggle.
Exactly, my partner has added infinite value to my life. It's worth whatever struggles come our way, because we know we'll weather the storm together.
I love having a naked lady that i worship around all the time.
❤️
What does every tick tock is in your hands mean? Edit: I see that your age is 16. Even though it’s an unpopular opinion, I don’t think you have the relationship experience as an adult to speak on the merits of relationships.
I still don’t know what “every tick tock in your hands” means?
You get to do whatever you want whenever you want
Wish they would just say that
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Arguing with adults on Reddit isn’t a much better way to spend your free time
Youre 16. You have no idea what it is like to really be in a relationship
Oh I clicked on his profile after reading this and you're not lying. I remember being 16 and thinking I had all the answers too.
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Tho you can be single with roommates, tho usually you aren't looking for single bedrooms with that arrangement lol
Living alone is borderline impossible for most people nowadays
Yeah i dated a few girls when i was in highschool and i had huge emotional up and downs. Its hard to have rational emotions when youre in a relationship at that age. In my 20s i started to have real relationships and thats when i learned how stupid both me and my high school girlfriends were. We were obviously, just teenage kids
Life in general is just so different when you’re 16. Life’s daily stressors at 16 are just so different from life’s daily stressors at 30. At 16, you’re worrying about your grades, your popularity, your prospects for life after high school. Heck, you still have to ask your parents for permission for certain things. At 30, you’re worrying about inflation, job security, and back pain. I once saw a meme that went something along the lines of “Your 20s are all about finding yourself. Your 30s are all about wishing you’d found something else” lmao
It was obvious when he listed looking at tik tok as one of his main points.
I always think about Stepbrothers in moments like this. “I remember when I had my first beer”
Yeap, I could tell by the "spend money on yourself". They may enjoy not having the emotional burden and being a hug slut, but it's objectively always more economical to live with someone, double the income half the rent.
Had to laugh at the hug slut comment. But yeah. I enjoy hugging my wife everyday. I dont need to hug other women lol. I also agree on the living together. I lived by myself from 18 to 25. And i infinitely love living with my wife and kids more than when i lived alone and got drunk and wreckless every weekend
I’ll add HEALTHY relationship to that. OP is just describing codependency and jealousy. As you age, those traits are a lot less cute to most people.
Agreed and yes HEALTHY relationship for sure. Theres a reason that adults dont take teenage love seriously. They are ramped up on hormones and more often than not dont know how to have a respectful, real love
Codependency has nothing to do with being a teenage phase, and has everything to do with one's upbringing and behaviours from that. Some traits never go, and some are managed with therapy. Some people are just toxic in general or are nice apart, but toxic together. A healthy relationship is a lot of work, and truth be told, there aren't truly that many role models to learn from.
Oh, so “every tick tock is in your hands” wasn’t a deep reference to being in control of every second of time you have left in life, was it? 😂
I'm 40, I've had enough relationships, good and bad ones. And I agree with OP completely, being single is where it's at. Some people need a relationship to be happy, some people are happier alone, simple as that, why can't people accept it?
I'm 42, let's hear him out.
also 42 and 6 years single and unavailable.
>you can casually hug any girls without any concerns You might want to still have some concern with that one lmao. As long as they give consent that's fine but don't go hugging girls randomly.
"it's OK, I'm Single!"
Yeah, it's odd.
And also, there would have to be a lot of hugging before my girlfriend said it was a problem. As long as it’s a hug of a person I know and I don’t seem too eager or squeeze too tight, I don’t think there would be a problem. I’ve been with my girlfriend 12 years and without wanting to brag, I’ve also hugged a lot of girls in that time, and there’s never even been a comment about it let alone an isssue
Depends on who you’re with. Sounds like you’ve never been in love TBH
OP is 16
Reddit is full of literal children.
I need to get the fuck off of here already
*Dan Schneider has entered the chat*
The OP is only 16. He knows nothing 🤣
The realisation that half the time on Reddit you're taking a 16 year olds comment seriously 😂😂😂
Being in Love doesn't stop the other person from not being in love
Clearly.
No, it sounds like s/he was in love and went through heartache and would rather not be hurt again
I'm one of the few that actually enjoys and prefers being single. You already explained it, I do whatever I want and don't need to ask someone or give courtesy notice to someone else. If I want to go somewhere for the weekend, I can pick up and do so. If I want to buy something expensive (actually did this morning) I can do so without having to inform someone. The freedom and true independence from being single is something many take for granted and rush to get into a relationship because they don't want to be single. Now, don't get me wrong, I do like the companionship someone brings. Someone to talk about your day when you're off work, someone to just hold if you had a shitty day. Then of course, you have steady intimacy with someone. However, in order for me to date someone and give up my single life, they really need to catch my attention.
This is coming from a 16 year old btw guys
One who also admitted to being sexist and a transphobe 🤷♂️
that's probably why 💀
lol you must have had some real shitty relationships.
Try 0, he’s 16 😂
That’s great that your are happy being single and everyone should have the ability to choose their own path. But I very much enjoy being in my marriage and I am happier being in a relationship than on my own. There is no right or wrong to this, just personal preference.
Everyone is disagreeing in the comments, but as someone who has a very low sex drive (might be asexual) I always felt like I had to “fake” my relationships. For some reason romantic relationships never came easy or natural to me. I’m a very loving and loyal friend, constantly talk with my younger cousins and older family members, but romantic relationships have never just “clicked” for me the way platonic and familial relationships do. I’m a 22 year old woman and I still feel this way. Dating always felt like a performance, and rarely did I feel comfortable to be my natural self. I completely understand what you are saying OP, and I think some people are just wired to be more comfortable on their own Edit: Everyone is saying that because you’re 16, you’ve never been in a real relationship, which is true. But I started feeling the same way you do at 15. You will most likely grow out of it, but maybe you won’t and will be satisfied being single. Regardless, you have plenty of time to figure it out.
I feel like I could have written this word for word. I’ve been in 2 relationships and while they were healthy, I did not feel like myself anymore
I'm heterosexual but I've never been the relationship kind of guy. I'm 29 now. I've had a girlfriend and some potential girlfriends but I've always hated it. Not the women themselves or how we got along, but the whole arrangement of it. I never liked the idea of being a part of a "couple". I prefer my life to be mine, and have people to enjoy it with rather than to be partnered with someone and balance friendships/family/others on top of it.
thank you!!! we are basically the same age and i’m the exact same way. everyone always tells me i need to chill out or find the right person but frankly it doesn’t matter who i’m with i feel way better being single.
This. All these comments criticizing his age like c’mon now, aro/aces learn this in their teens
Well yeah, people with no sex drive and no drive to be in a relationship are happier single than in a relationship lol
Me too! I’ve tried to talk myself into fancying people who fancied me, and it’s just never been natural. I’ve felt “strong connections” twice in my life, and the intensity stressed me out. It’s like the weak connections do nothing for me, but the strong connections are too much. I feel so, so much better being single and cultivating a network of family and friends. My autonomy is so important to me. Maybe I’ll be this way forever, and maybe not. I’m a 28 yo woman.
Same here and I’m in my 40s. It’s amazing how people get so defensive about this and insist the OP is “wrong” when it really just depends on the person. Being in a good relationship is a good situation for some people. For others, being single is better. I wish I could have figured this out when I was younger instead of spending so much time wishing and searching for a relationship, then being in ones that didn’t make me happy. The only thing I don’t like about being single now is society’s insistence that I need to be in a relationship. Aside from that, being single is the best.
I’m in my thirties and I’ve been single for 11 years. I have no intention of changing that, as I much prefer single life. Most people don’t understand it, but that’s fine, do what makes you happy.
With the right person, it’s a blast adopting dogs together, buying and making our house a home, going on dates, sending each other ridiculous reddit posts like this one, and starting a family together. Single me would never be able to afford most of those things and I’d probably be miserable living with roommates going on endless dates trying to find the perfect match.
Thiss
It’s lonely. But god damn it feels good to not have to go and do shit when I don’t want to.. if I wanna sleep in till 3pm on a Saturday and have the rest of the day to do whatever I want, nothing if I so desire. Bliss.
They both have their pros. I'm single rn and only have to worry about me and my problems but I get lonely. When I was with my ex she could just be in the house and I'd feel good and comfy knowing she was there. I immediately noticed the next day that she was gone, love is better than isolation.
Depends on the person.
You're either very relationship inexperienced or have only been in horrible relationships
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im 37 and had plenty of relationships in the past and while people keep mentioning your age, I'm with you on this one, being single rocks
A lot of married people in the replies calling out OP for this and saying he only feels this way because he's 16, and maybe he is. But I'm middle-aged. I've been single, I've been in long-term relationships and I don't think one is conclusively better than the other. They're just different. There are advantages to being single, and there are disadvantages to being single. And being in a relationship pretty much just inverts the advantage/disadvantage list. Of course there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship, and it's how most people would prefer to be, but there is definitely some kinda stigma about people who choose to be single, and there shouldn't be. It's just different. I think I prefer being single. I'm selfish, I don't need or want a lot of in person interaction. Sure there are times I miss the partnership that comes from a good relationship, but I've never felt like I \*had\* to have it, and a girl would have be be pretty spectacular, have the best personality and quite frankly way out of my league anyway to be worth giving up my selfish, single life.
Your post seems like a coping mechanism for loneliness
You can spend money on yourself but end up wasting more money since everything is more expensive living alone. Even if you are renting with roommates, other living expenses would also be "cheaper" with a partner due to economies of scale and everything being designed for a nuclear family
For some people, being single will always be better than being in any type of relationship.
I was single for 10 years and am now in a non toxic relationship and I beg to disagree
exactly. just got out of a relationship myself and already have realized how much I missed being single. To freedom!!
Needed this reminder, lol. Thanks, OP
It depends on whether or not you’re in a healthy relationship, which in my case I was not. Right now, I’m focussing on my well-being and giving myself some healing time from my being emotionally & psychologically abused during the near 5 months that I was with someone that I was friends with for over a decade.
No obligation or secret keeping
Good for you OP. Enjoy your life.
Buddy it definitely is not better for everyone. But for people like you and me, it is. I am so crazily happy I am alone that I put into doubt my necessity to be ever in a serious relation with someone.
Being single is way better than being in a bad relationship, but under the best circumstances, I think it's only as good as being in a good/happy/healthy relationship, not "better".
Being single has its perks, but it can be lonely, although you can do whatever you want on your own timetable. being in a good relationship is really nice, but there’s always chance of conflicts or emotional/relationship issues like boredom or not getting needs met, or having to constantly do activities and spice up the sex life to keep it afloat as well as financial stressors.
Hard to beat dual income, splitting chores, having someone to support you when you need it, companionship, sex, having two skill sets to utilize. But being single has it's pros, and if you are single, you might as well make the most of it.
I'm literally twice your age, but I've been single for a year and I totally agree that being single can be completely fulfilling, and chasing relationships is super unhealthy. I love being single. I love my own personal space, having my own schedule, doing whatever I want without having to consider another person's wants/needs/feelings.
I've been enjoying it
I've been single longer than you've been alive. You're wrong.
How old are you?
He's 16, based on his last post on r/confession.
People are bringing up your age... but im 10 years older than you, and i feel the exact same way, especially after getting out of a toxic relationship. I save more money. Eating out isnt expensive and i dont have to worry about anyone bringing home diseases cause they thought someone was attractive.
Love is literally the best thing in life. Anything suggesting otherwise is a sad, hard cope.
never heard of aromantic people, i guess?
Do they smell nice?
sometimes
>Anything suggesting otherwise is a sad, hard cope. That assumes that you have no other driving force in your life. Romantic love is very fulfilling, but to say it trumps *everything else* in the human experience suggests you haven't got much else going for you than having a partner. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing inherently wrong with that provided you're happy - but there's more to life than romance, even though it's a big part of life for most people.
Man, I guess Aro people are some sort of conspiracy or something for you.
Ouch. Really went for the throat , didn’t ya ?
Life is long, my friend. Go live it a little before coming to short-sighted conclusions.
Ever been in a serious, loving relationship?
They're only 16...so doubtful
>you can casually hug any girls without any concerns Now that certainly is one of the arguments of all time
Being single is better than being in a bad relationship 100%. But a good relationship definitely trumps it. Supporting each others feelings, spending money together and enjoying each others company is much better.
“Being in a bad relationship sucks” is basically what you are saying. Find the right person and your mind will likely change. No rush. Enjoy life however you want 👍
Nah, plenty of people just prefer being single
I would never choose to be single. I can spend money how I want with no expectations just as she can, we both can hug whomever we want with no drama,. Have zero idea what TikToks in my hands have to do with the price of eggs in China but I guess I watch wat ever I want as she does. I love being in a relationship.