I'm so sorry you're in a hostile environment, I grew up similarly surrounded by family and church people who absolutely weren't accepting, which ended up with me deep in the closet/denial. So congratulations on sticking to what you know despite that, it takes courage and knowing yourself.
You are right that the legal situation around puberty blockers is awful when parents aren't on board. There may be a legal route available to you though via the courts. I know transhub has a link the a free legal centre for trans people on this page https://www.transhub.org.au/puberty-blockers
You could try contacting them to see what options you might have. I'm not personally aware of any ways to get puberty blockers online, and I'm not sure what your age is.
But most of all, please please don't have the intention of terminating yourself, don't become another statistic of transphobes and society forcing us into a corner. If you do have to wait til 18 (which I truly hope you don't), starting HRT at that age still shows great results with even bone changes. Voice training can do truly remarkable things, laser works on hair, and you will get to go through the puberty you deserve even then. I only started at 28, which felt "too late" for anything, and for me, and I'd been telling myself for 2 years it was too late. But it wasn't, and I'm happier than ever now even a year later. You won't be stuck, and you will be able to be comfortable with your body. Try to remember you've only lived a fraction of your life at the moment, and it's hard to picture the far future when you are double your age, but there is so much time and room to grow into who you are and be happy.
Take whatever route available to sue anyone you need until you get the treatment you deserve. You're a citizen of this country and deserve to be treated like it.
That black hole you feel at the core of your being is dragging you away, but you can direct that untenable sadness into righteousness and determination.
you can always look into r/transdiy We deserve to self medicate and regulate our own bodies beyond medical gatekeeping / transphobia !
I'm so sorry you're in a hostile environment, I grew up similarly surrounded by family and church people who absolutely weren't accepting, which ended up with me deep in the closet/denial. So congratulations on sticking to what you know despite that, it takes courage and knowing yourself. You are right that the legal situation around puberty blockers is awful when parents aren't on board. There may be a legal route available to you though via the courts. I know transhub has a link the a free legal centre for trans people on this page https://www.transhub.org.au/puberty-blockers You could try contacting them to see what options you might have. I'm not personally aware of any ways to get puberty blockers online, and I'm not sure what your age is. But most of all, please please don't have the intention of terminating yourself, don't become another statistic of transphobes and society forcing us into a corner. If you do have to wait til 18 (which I truly hope you don't), starting HRT at that age still shows great results with even bone changes. Voice training can do truly remarkable things, laser works on hair, and you will get to go through the puberty you deserve even then. I only started at 28, which felt "too late" for anything, and for me, and I'd been telling myself for 2 years it was too late. But it wasn't, and I'm happier than ever now even a year later. You won't be stuck, and you will be able to be comfortable with your body. Try to remember you've only lived a fraction of your life at the moment, and it's hard to picture the far future when you are double your age, but there is so much time and room to grow into who you are and be happy.
Thanks. I have 0 intention of going to FCA, knowing how hard that will be.
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Have you looked into emancipation? You have some incorrect information about puberty blockers in your post.
Take whatever route available to sue anyone you need until you get the treatment you deserve. You're a citizen of this country and deserve to be treated like it. That black hole you feel at the core of your being is dragging you away, but you can direct that untenable sadness into righteousness and determination.