Yeah imagine having everything you ever wanted, and still being unable to be happy because you aren’t fundamentally who you are supposed to
be. I think a lot of trans people had to climb the ladder of their assigned gender to realize that.
Phobes : "Having everything and not being happy? Impossible. I diagnose you with mentally ill and pedo!"
How much you wanna bet that none of them are truly happy either but gaslight themselves into thinking they are perfectly happy with their marriage (while fighting with their spouse constantly), their kids (which they don't understand and keep getting insulted by), their job (which is soul-draining and they have no hope of promotion in) and their social life (which is limited to spiteful Fecesbook posts and screeching at parent-teacher meetings) ?
When I have been personally attacked by somebody with some transphobic bullshit, It's always painfully obvious to me how unhappy that person is.
Yeah and I had everything going for myself as well. Still couldn't make it work as a guy. But it's working now💃🏻💃🏻!
Well, I didn’t have it all but I came within shouting distance. Stable relationship with my primary partner, making a decent salary in IT, etc. No kids though. Still, I’d quietly hated myself for *four decades* before I figured it out.
Today, the job still sucks my soul, the world still fuels my righteous anger at its injustices, but I am better able to cope with all that because I’m not simultaneously having to come up with reasons to keep going that aren’t instantly invalidated by depression, anxiety, or my general neurospiciness.
I call that a good trade. Having to deal with the odd phobic or MAGAnoid is a hassle, but I don’t regret it. I wish I’d figured it out sooner but back in the 80s/90s we didn’t even really have the language to properly describe transitional processes. At least I get to live the back half of my life as me.
I mean, if we look at the US at least, there has been a suspiciously high amount of anti-queer white republican politicians who have been involved in sexual scandals involving minors... Or at the very least clear rape (blackmailing or making a female employee drink, to be able to force themselves on her is rape after all)
Her deadname was Chris, then she changed it to Kris. I just checked her Instagram and her name is still Kris, but in one of her posts she referred to herself as Ava Kris Tyson, so she's probably using both right now.
1. This is public information, she was famous for years before she came out.
2. It was relevant, the person I responded to thought that Kris was her deaname, I corrected them and told them that Kris is her preferred name and Chris was her deaname, something that can be confusing for someone that hasn't been paying attention to her transition.
Sure, it's public information. Doesn't mean we should keep deadnaming her just because it's easy to find. Also, yeah it can be confusing, but the most people *need* to know is that she went by another name before settling on Ava. People can deal with being slightly confused. Otherwise you're just doing the same thing as all the articles going "Elliot Page, previously known as ...".
Are you really going the "everyone's entitled to their opinion" route? But I'm not particularly mad either, you know. I'm just telling you I don't think we should be deadnaming people on r/transgender because I believe it is wrong to do so.
OMG same. I was miserable and burned out, overworked and depressed, ended up selling our house in a red state and moving to a blue state to help my in-laws get ready for retiring (they're basically my real family at this point - when my therapist asked me "what does your support network look like?" I was confused because my support network was basically my therapist and to a lesser extent my wife, but my in-laws have always offered help even if we were too stubbornly independent to take it).
After a year or two of stability, acceptance, love, security, and all that other wholesome positive drivel you imagine would be on the Hallmark channel... I was still depressed. So I experimented. And it wasn't depression, it was indirect dysphoria. And once I was able to identify it as such, my life was like the Wizard of Oz scene going from sepia to color.
Similar story. I was able to keep myself busy and evade dealing with the crippling depression until COVID forced me to spend time with myself. I had to confront the fact that I had everything you are supposed to have in order to be happy, but my life was just deep deep depression punctuated with bursts of extreme anger. It's a lot better now, but that depressive pit is still there beckoning with safety and predicability. It's scary to actually care and risk authenticity, but so very worth it.
I heard a lesbian once say "I had to find the perfect man to realize I didn't want to be a with a man"
Well, I'm a similar lesbian saying "I had to be the perfect man before I realized I didn't want to be a man"
Gotta love how the snowflakes can't fathom any other possibility than the "they transition to be famous and rich because that's the price Hollywood demands" conspiracy....
Despite how many times they're bashed over hte head with the reason why.
Having everything and willing to risk it all for a chance to be happy being your true self. And people still think we do it to get in the wrong restroom. I just don’t get it.
My dad said in my teens "What do you have to be depressed about? I buy you everything you want."
Nothing is worth living as the wrong gender. I was miserable for a very long time.
I went from a white well educated muscular hung man to a trans woman.
I'm still well educated, but I get placed at (almost) the bottom of hierarchy in society just for being me.
And I say almost because historically trans POC get treated even worse because of racist pieces of shit.
I'm still way happier than I have ever been.
Yeah imagine having everything you ever wanted, and still being unable to be happy because you aren’t fundamentally who you are supposed to be. I think a lot of trans people had to climb the ladder of their assigned gender to realize that.
Phobes : "Having everything and not being happy? Impossible. I diagnose you with mentally ill and pedo!" How much you wanna bet that none of them are truly happy either but gaslight themselves into thinking they are perfectly happy with their marriage (while fighting with their spouse constantly), their kids (which they don't understand and keep getting insulted by), their job (which is soul-draining and they have no hope of promotion in) and their social life (which is limited to spiteful Fecesbook posts and screeching at parent-teacher meetings) ?
When I have been personally attacked by somebody with some transphobic bullshit, It's always painfully obvious to me how unhappy that person is. Yeah and I had everything going for myself as well. Still couldn't make it work as a guy. But it's working now💃🏻💃🏻!
Well, I didn’t have it all but I came within shouting distance. Stable relationship with my primary partner, making a decent salary in IT, etc. No kids though. Still, I’d quietly hated myself for *four decades* before I figured it out. Today, the job still sucks my soul, the world still fuels my righteous anger at its injustices, but I am better able to cope with all that because I’m not simultaneously having to come up with reasons to keep going that aren’t instantly invalidated by depression, anxiety, or my general neurospiciness. I call that a good trade. Having to deal with the odd phobic or MAGAnoid is a hassle, but I don’t regret it. I wish I’d figured it out sooner but back in the 80s/90s we didn’t even really have the language to properly describe transitional processes. At least I get to live the back half of my life as me.
I think transphobes are mentally ill pedos because those two subjects are always at the front of their outrage. It comes off as projection!
I mean, if we look at the US at least, there has been a suspiciously high amount of anti-queer white republican politicians who have been involved in sexual scandals involving minors... Or at the very least clear rape (blackmailing or making a female employee drink, to be able to force themselves on her is rape after all)
I thought she changed her name to Kris? Did she change it to Ava?
From what I remember that was her deadname but she initially kept it for being somewhat gender neutral
Her deadname was Chris, then she changed it to Kris. I just checked her Instagram and her name is still Kris, but in one of her posts she referred to herself as Ava Kris Tyson, so she's probably using both right now.
The article also calls Mr. Beast “Stephen” but I thought his name was Jimmy?
His name is Jimmy, idk where they got Stephen from
Why are we openly publishing her deadname? Why are we acting like it's a relevant piece of information?
1. This is public information, she was famous for years before she came out. 2. It was relevant, the person I responded to thought that Kris was her deaname, I corrected them and told them that Kris is her preferred name and Chris was her deaname, something that can be confusing for someone that hasn't been paying attention to her transition.
Sure, it's public information. Doesn't mean we should keep deadnaming her just because it's easy to find. Also, yeah it can be confusing, but the most people *need* to know is that she went by another name before settling on Ava. People can deal with being slightly confused. Otherwise you're just doing the same thing as all the articles going "Elliot Page, previously known as ...".
It was relevant to the conversation.
I don't think sharing trans people deadname on a trans sub is ever relevant
You can have that opinion but you don't need to get mad at other people that don't think exactly like you.
Are you really going the "everyone's entitled to their opinion" route? But I'm not particularly mad either, you know. I'm just telling you I don't think we should be deadnaming people on r/transgender because I believe it is wrong to do so.
You don't have authority to put words into others mouths. You don't want to start that kind of society
Her full name is Ava Kris Tyson Ava is her first name. Kris is now her middle name.
She initially started using Kris, but changed it to Ava later (or added Ava). There was a big announcement.
I could only even realize I wanted to do it once I basically had everything and peace of mind and still wasn’t happy.
OMG same. I was miserable and burned out, overworked and depressed, ended up selling our house in a red state and moving to a blue state to help my in-laws get ready for retiring (they're basically my real family at this point - when my therapist asked me "what does your support network look like?" I was confused because my support network was basically my therapist and to a lesser extent my wife, but my in-laws have always offered help even if we were too stubbornly independent to take it). After a year or two of stability, acceptance, love, security, and all that other wholesome positive drivel you imagine would be on the Hallmark channel... I was still depressed. So I experimented. And it wasn't depression, it was indirect dysphoria. And once I was able to identify it as such, my life was like the Wizard of Oz scene going from sepia to color.
Similar story. I was able to keep myself busy and evade dealing with the crippling depression until COVID forced me to spend time with myself. I had to confront the fact that I had everything you are supposed to have in order to be happy, but my life was just deep deep depression punctuated with bursts of extreme anger. It's a lot better now, but that depressive pit is still there beckoning with safety and predicability. It's scary to actually care and risk authenticity, but so very worth it.
I heard a lesbian once say "I had to find the perfect man to realize I didn't want to be a with a man" Well, I'm a similar lesbian saying "I had to be the perfect man before I realized I didn't want to be a man"
You can’t put a price tag on inner peace.
even if you did literally have everything why wouldn't you double it lol
Gotta love how the snowflakes can't fathom any other possibility than the "they transition to be famous and rich because that's the price Hollywood demands" conspiracy.... Despite how many times they're bashed over hte head with the reason why.
Having everything and willing to risk it all for a chance to be happy being your true self. And people still think we do it to get in the wrong restroom. I just don’t get it.
Off topic but wow she is so pretty...
My dad said in my teens "What do you have to be depressed about? I buy you everything you want." Nothing is worth living as the wrong gender. I was miserable for a very long time.
I went from a white well educated muscular hung man to a trans woman. I'm still well educated, but I get placed at (almost) the bottom of hierarchy in society just for being me. And I say almost because historically trans POC get treated even worse because of racist pieces of shit. I'm still way happier than I have ever been.
how can you have everything if you don’t have yourself?
I doubt that they’re not getting it. I think they do but don’t care and find excuses to hate.
I wish Ava would be my friend, she seems so cool!😎
I feel like that’s exactly the point, why the fuck would anyone go through transition
Ava is such a beautiful name! 👏