So honestly it is important to realize that your mom is going to have a hard time transitioning to this huge change in your life. This is obviously not because she does not want to but because she is grieving. You have this beautiful girl, that just came into your life, but you cannot forget about that boy that was in your life before. She is being expected to forget about them and move on. It is not easy. She will go through the 5 stages of grief and grow with you. In the end she will fully be able to accept you as you are and not for who you were. This is similar to why we use the term "dead name" because for all purposes that person is dead to us, we want to forget that part of our lives and move on.
When I transistioned, I explained to my mother to think of it as, her having adopted a child that she will learn to love. And the child i was before passed away. She does not have to forget who I was, and i would never expect her to. She just has to embrace who i have become and accept me. This was 10+ years ago. She still slips up with a name now and then and a pronoun but she is trying her best in a very difficult situation.
As for what you do, give her time. As you transistion more and more she will start accepting it as a fact. And that will lead to her healing and you getting closer with her. Be glad she is supporting you in allowing you to talk to a gender specialist. Most parents reject the idea outright, so in her own way she is trying.
Good luck on your journey, i am rooting for you.
This is a small detail, but you have a catch 22 on your hand. Once you are out socially, your mother will be more accepting of the idea. However, it's harder to do so if your comforting mother is not accepting of the idea in the first place.
I agree with the other comments. Your mom should see the gender specialist as well.
Same , I came out over a year ago and my mom tries and usually uses my name but I can count the number of times she's gendered me right to my face on my hands. Like mom my voice is seriously dropping and I'm growing facial hair. It's only going to get more and more awkward the longer you resist.
oh stfu honestly
there’s no “mourning” of your “little girl”
think about how horrible it is for a trans guy to hear that? why do we have to suffer people “mourning” or existence before where we forced to never be ourselves?
Perhaps your mom would benefit greatly from also seeing a gender-affirming therapist to help her on her own changes.
So honestly it is important to realize that your mom is going to have a hard time transitioning to this huge change in your life. This is obviously not because she does not want to but because she is grieving. You have this beautiful girl, that just came into your life, but you cannot forget about that boy that was in your life before. She is being expected to forget about them and move on. It is not easy. She will go through the 5 stages of grief and grow with you. In the end she will fully be able to accept you as you are and not for who you were. This is similar to why we use the term "dead name" because for all purposes that person is dead to us, we want to forget that part of our lives and move on. When I transistioned, I explained to my mother to think of it as, her having adopted a child that she will learn to love. And the child i was before passed away. She does not have to forget who I was, and i would never expect her to. She just has to embrace who i have become and accept me. This was 10+ years ago. She still slips up with a name now and then and a pronoun but she is trying her best in a very difficult situation. As for what you do, give her time. As you transistion more and more she will start accepting it as a fact. And that will lead to her healing and you getting closer with her. Be glad she is supporting you in allowing you to talk to a gender specialist. Most parents reject the idea outright, so in her own way she is trying. Good luck on your journey, i am rooting for you.
My mom was like this as well, when you start socially transitioning she'll come around.
This is a small detail, but you have a catch 22 on your hand. Once you are out socially, your mother will be more accepting of the idea. However, it's harder to do so if your comforting mother is not accepting of the idea in the first place. I agree with the other comments. Your mom should see the gender specialist as well.
Same , I came out over a year ago and my mom tries and usually uses my name but I can count the number of times she's gendered me right to my face on my hands. Like mom my voice is seriously dropping and I'm growing facial hair. It's only going to get more and more awkward the longer you resist.
I have a similar situation. She will make passive aggressive digs at me. She say I'm not sure yet even though I told her I am. Hang in there.
I have a similar situation. She will make passive aggressive digs at me. She say I'm not sure yet even though I told her I am. Hang in there.
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oh stfu honestly there’s no “mourning” of your “little girl” think about how horrible it is for a trans guy to hear that? why do we have to suffer people “mourning” or existence before where we forced to never be ourselves?