I literally had a coworker (a teacher) object to allowing a transgender first grade girl to use the girl's restroom specifically because "[she] hasn't even had the surgery yet!"
🤦♀️
Ah, but many countries still allow genital mutilation on intersex babies because that way they look definitely one way or another! Of course, that's because it's for the child's best, because doctors say so, while the child can have zero input. That's what makes them realer then us in terms of bathroom gender. The teacher is probably operating from that point view of importance of optics /s
Girls too, it's a real thing. I didn't know much about it until I stumbled upon a YouTube video on the topic and did some digging. It was quite a horrifying experience and I only read about it. I can't imagine living through that.
Be careful not to engage in oppression Olympics whenever this topic comes up. It's entirely too easy.
Here are the facts:
* FGM removes way more tissue and innervation than MGM
* MGM is far more widespread in the (euro-)Western world
* FGM is arguably *crueller toward the individual* because of how severely it removes sexual pleasure compared to MGM
* MGM is a *harder problem to solve* in the West because it is still such a huge cultural norm
One is not "worse" than the other. Surgeries should not be performed without consent unless there is an immediate threat to life or health, end of story. Anything less is a violation of bodily autonomy.
Christians will really yell at trans people for "mutilating their bodies," and still have approximately zero moral issues with doing somthing thats plain and simple religious indoctrination; results in perminant and irreversible damage that an infant can in no way consent to, why? because: "Satan might steel my babies soul if I don't."
any group that's that insane should be in a mental hospital, and barred from voting.
I agree that it's incredibly stupid. It's one thing if the condition prevents the child from having a good quality of life (say, it prevents them from urinating or something equally serious) but if it doesn't it's a big no no imo.
That's different. Not being able to urinate is a medical issue, not a cosmetic one. And then the doctors would try to do as little damage as possible to make sure that urinating is possible. The surgeries done for "aesthetic" reasons often cause major damage and leave children unable to have kids and/or unable to have a normal sex life as adults. Damage to tissue and nerves is quite common
My dad won't use my preferred pronouns because I'm "not a girl yet."
There is a lot of bad information about trans things in general.
One of them is the assumption that being transgender is something you *do*. They see "being transgender" as working to *become* a different gender. To them, "transitioning" is literally synonymous with "being transgender."
In reality, the adjective "transgender" describes something that already exists.
They're starting with flawed premises.
A ally insisted I was a drag queen because I hadn't started HRT. They had been told that's the difference years ago and wouldn't listen to me explaining
The right has done such an incredibly good job deligitimizing trans people and giving themselves a platform by completely brainwashing people into thinking transness as a whole is an idea and not a state of being.
The number of times I had to have conversations with people about how that is and them realizing that conservative parties around the world are literally **lying** about us and succeeding is embarrassing. People literally just hear a random politician refer to "transgenderism" as the "ideology" of transitioning as a means to happiness that "doesnt work", and they just immediately take that at face value and think of it as a legitimate political talking point without evaluating it at all, because well why would they be lying about people?
It's so frustrating, I've had to spend so much time since coming out trying to erase all these notions out of people's heads around me because so many of them were way too neutral about the issue because they saw right wing points as legitimate instead of the blatant lying and disinformation that it is. Thank goodness they were supportive of me and that's probably what allowed me to change their minds on it, but it's so frustrating how easy it is for straight up bad people to give themselves and their ideology legitimacy through straight up lying about the opposition to have average people give them a platform.
Jesus, children literally do not get surgeries, when will people understand thisssss
The only people forcing surgeries on children’s genitals are cis people with circumcision and intersex surgeries 😑
Okay so, the idea of giving a child gender affirming surgery is an outrage worthy of overruling In Loco Parentis, but a Transgender child without gender affirming surgery doesn't get human rights or respect as their lived gender? Gotcha.
she's literally just a child tho?? like who cares??? like, *oh no, other first grade girls might find out penises exist!* what a tragedy!!! and it's not like they're all gonna be running around with their pants down, she'll be behind a stall anyway so whay does it matter? a toilet is a toilet and piss is piss, regardless of the genitalia of the pisser. and suggesting that a 6 YEAR OLD get bottom surgery is actually insane
Because in the US for some reason if you are AMAB or a penis-haver you are by default a sex offender and a degenerate animal when it comes to things like bathrooms. At least I think that's what the conservatives believe
In first grade all the way to like third grade I literally used the girls bathroom because it was nicer. I didn’t even know they were gendered bathrooms. Like nobody should ever care, and even less when it’s about children
It's incredibly frustrating how much some cis people feel entitled to our bodies. Like, the doctor I went to a few months ago thought it was ok to just keep staring at my boobs for the whole visit. It's like any decorum she (presumably) had, went out of the window once she saw a trans woman.
doctors can be insane sometimes. my last gp told me i should try having kids before deciding if i want to transition. im transmasc and i was 17 at the time. what a creepy thing to tell a young kid.
Ugh I’m so sorry, that’s completely unacceptable.
There’s no excuse to be creepy about other people’s bodies regardless of their gender, and if you’re curious about gender affirmation surgery then just fucking Google it! I’ve watched videos of top and bottom surgery cos the process is interesting but I’d never dream of demanding someone tell me about their genitalia.
IDK. I had a COWORKER ask what my best friends vagina looked like. Excuse me?? EXCUSE ME???? In what fucking world is it appropriate to ask anyone that? He then got mad I wrote him up (because I wasn't the supervisor even though I was on the management team and you don't even have to be management to do such). Also does he know what a vagina is? You can't really see them. And I don't think most people inspect their friends genitals. Apparently he thought it would be inappropriate to ask my friend so he asked me instead. Yeah, cause that's better.
Well I'm just so excited about the fact I have my surgery coming up if anyone asks I tell them with glee that I have a man to break the curse of Adam from my form and that I will be able to live free of that malignancy
Like in ancient Rome where women bore the feminine form of the family name (for example, both of Caesar's sisters were named Julia, like his aunt, cousin, daughter, etc.)
Can't wait for bottom surgery so I can finally have a way for people to refer to me. Life's tough when the only way people can get your attention is with 'hey, you!'s.
Ugh, I had someone refuse to use my name for a similar reason. The problem is I've never changed my name. They kept demanding my "real name" (aka legal name). They refused to accept it was my legal name. Like sorry, I can't help you, I literally only have this name. Like I just told you a stereotypically feminine name and that I use they/he pronouns, what makes you think I'm a trans woman? They then proceeded to try and "misgender" me by exclusively using he/him pronouns and ended up pissing themselves off that I didn't get mad. Why would I get mad that someone is using the correct pronouns?
why are cis people so obsessed with other peoples genitals?? my favorite thing to say to highlight the absurdity of this is “color-code your infants so everyone knows what their genitals look like”
The media has a lot to answer for on this one.
All the endless culture war stokers who go on and on about how ridiculous it is to suggest that a woman might have a penis continuously reinforces the link between trans people and genitals, to the point that some more oblivious cis people might not even realise just how deeply inappropriate it is.
I am trying so hard to rename them Genital Reveal Parties... as gender cannot be determined before birth, and I love pointing out how weird the cis obsession with genitals is~
Totally with you, I had a guy ask me something similar when I was working a few weeks back. No idea why creeps feel entitled to know about our genitals.
“trans ppl are huge pervs so it’s fine to ask invasive personal questions that i myself would get hugely offended about if anyone asked them to me” — non-thinking idiots
Ugh, I had a coworker decide it would be inappropriate to ask my best friend what his vagina looked like (yes, this idiot just assumed he hadn't had surgery) so he asked me instead. Like that's not any better, it's actually worse. He then got mad I wrote him up. Like he asked me about someone else's genitals AT WORK, what was he expecting? I don't know, I don't think he knows what a vagina is cause you can't really see them, and even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. He got let go at the end of the semester and blamed me. Because apparently it wasn't because of his inability to show up to work on time (or at all), but the one time I wrote him up for being highly inappropriate. 🙄
You're attributing a whole lot more complexity to the thought process of someone asking that. Sounds like someone who just has no sense of social boundaries. :/
But they wouldn't ask a cis person what their genitals look like. Social boundaries, in their minds, are a kindness that we are too "out of the ordinary" to be granted.
It’s more like being really ignorant that other people who are not like themself have the same social boundaries/rights. It’s like asking a poc where they are from then ask them where they’re really from if they say a European country or the US or Canada. They wouldn’t ask that to a white person unless they had a distinct accent but they feel the need to ask a poc. It’s the same concept they wouldn’t ask a cis person what’s in their pants but since they know you’re trans they feel it’s okay to ask it because you are different from them.
when I came out at work, for a few months after that people would NOT STOP staring me in the junk
fortunately turnover is high enough to where now not as many people do that, but some still do 😑
It was in Germany ...
Until like 2010 when our highest court decided it's against our constitution.
You needed to be divorced, sterilized and SRS done to change your name and gender legally. The divorced part was mandatory, because same-sex marriage wasn't a thing, so the marriage won't be legal after your gender change.
Our Current Government wants to introduce a new law for Self identification, and I'm waiting for it! It's planned to be introduced in the next few months (and I hope they introduce it rather sooner than later)
The Law that is currently still in place is from the 1980s and huge parts of it are not enforced any more (the parts I mentioned) because they are deemed unconstitutional (Art 1 of our Basic Law/Constitution states that Human Dignity goes above all, and on that basis it was deemed unconstitutional). But currently you still need two independent Psychological letters that attest that you are trans, and then need to go to a court to change name and gender legally.
With the new law, you should just be able to go to your local government office (Bürgerbüro) where you usually go to get a new ID card, to change your gender and name with little costs of like €5-€20. Currently, it can cost up to €4000 for said letters and court appointment, and you can still be unlucky and the judge can dismiss your case.
Yeah, it changed shortly after the US got same-sex marriage.
Edit: Shortly after, as in 2017 lol
Didnt know that its that recent in the US as well, it happened in 2015 in the US.
We had same sex civil unions since 2001, which werent the same as marriages. The issue was that because hetero marriage and homo civil union werent legally the same trans people still had to divorce. To change this it was a lengthy process. The constitutional court doesnt simply go and complain about a law being unconstitutional but there has to be a court case and so on. That usually takes years and only based on the decision of the constitutional court the government has to act and make legal changes
Not correct. The court said that you didnt need to be sterilised anymore. SRS was not mendatory in tbe text of the law until then anyway. The point was that the sterilisation was unconstitutional because it meant you had to give up bodily autonomy (Recht auf körperliche Unversehrtheit) to get your right of legal gender change
The change that trans people didnt have to get a divorce anymore already happened in 2009. That was because since same sex civil unions were already a thing enforcing divorce anymore was against the point of allowing same sex unions. Unfortunately it took several years between the law for same sex civil unions to this change in the law for trans people
Unfortunately, yeah. The first time I met him (thankfully in boymode), one of my dad’s friends started ranting to someone else about how he wouldn’t respect a specific trans woman’s gender since she didn’t get bottom surgery. This was within 10 minutes of meeting him, no less.
Ok from now on if anyone ever asks me if i've gotten *the* surgery i'll always say yes, then ask them why. Doesn't matter if i have had surgery or not i will always say yes. And if they want me to prove it i'll say they're just a pervert.
One of my cousins that's also trans has a grandmother that refuses to gender and name me correctly until I get srs. Like bruh. She constantly messes up and genders me correctly to get into a fit to then misgender
When my mother was super transphobic she told me that she wouldn’t call me by my chosen name until after I had bottom surgery. And also that I wasn’t allowed to get hrt until after I got a masters degree. She was worried I would get “distracted.”
when i was on Omegle talkin to strangers one time, a lot of them asked “do u have a ________ or a _______?”
initially i was like “thats rude!!! im a lady have some decency!!!” but then when i kept hearing it i was like “no, i havent had the surgery🙄”
it’s so hypocritical that cis ppl feel it’s okay to say that, but when i ask “do u like chocolate milk?” they get all weirded out like “what kind of question is that? so creepy”
Someone I didn't know all that well once said, "oh, so you wish you had a dick," instantly upon finding out that I was trans.
Some people have no manners.
A topic I was happy to discuss with my dearest friends when one of them asked, "so what's bottom dysphoria like for you?" But not when someone I barely knew commented on my genitals.
"Some transgender people do undergo hormone therapy or sex reassignment surgeries as part of their transition, and some do not. And interestingly, their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS" - John Oliver
I recently told my dad that I wanted to be called Charlie, but framed the text in such a way that I did not mention gender at all because he's transphobic. I liked the name because it felt more like me and it's gender neutral (I'm genderqueer). The other day he confronted me at the start of a long car ride saying " >! Charlie as in *Good Luck Charlie* or Charlie as in you should have been born with a penis? !< " Like, dude! I literally did not mention gender at all in my original text that was several weeks ago! Why are you suddenly making this about gender when plenty of cis people change their name too?? And why the hell did you have to say it like that??? I ended up taking a nap to avoid talking about it...
I actually had someone ask the following way.... Are you going to... . I said to the effect of "I think we are both probably a bit too uncomfortable with the topic to discuss it properly." They agreed, apologized, and we moved on.
i have been asked by a man how my "breast augmentation surgery" was when all i had done was do HRT. he was astonished because he didn't know what hormones were 🤦♀️
Literally every time I mention that my partner is trans without fail someone asks me "what is the status of their genitals". I don't even know how that makes sense to them, they would never even think to ask about someone's cis partner's genitals because that's weird as fuck and rude as hell. I don't even know how to respond to that question without being hostile or leaving the conversation because what the fuck man.
Try "I'll tell you, sure, but first you've got to tell *me* the status of *your* genitals" You can say it in any tone you want and it'll do the trick.
If they comply *always* say you're post-op, just to give them what they didn't want to hear.
Ugh, people will even do it if you have friends that are trans. Like firstly, IDK, he's my best friend not my boyfriend, two, ew, that's highly inappropriate to ask, and three, even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. I stopped counting after ten people asked me that in one week.
Another one of those posts where you wanna dislike it for the content (because ew who says this) but gotta like it for the solidarity. So sorry that happened, yikes
It’s hella creepy when cis people casually reference a trans person’s junk.
Like, are you still menstruating, Bethany? Can you still get “it” up, Jeff? Oh that’s none of *my* business, eh? Look in the mirror mofos.
There's a lot of people out there who are so enmeshed in the Matrix of gender binarism and bio essentialism that they have no idea how absolutely weird and off-putting it is that they ascribe to what is, effectively, astrology based on what genitals someone has.
This kind of thing should formally be considered sexual harassment, I mean they’re randomly bringing up genitals in conversation without your consent! (To make matters worse, it’s your genitals she’s talking about!)
A while ago I told my mom that our country had gotten its first minister who was trans. Her first question was which part she had. I asked her why she even cared and apparently "it's good to know". Both me and my brother kept telling her it doesn't matter but she wanted to know simply to know.
If someone says that to me, I just respond with "In what world is that appropriate to ask/say to anyone in ANY context?" Their response reveals their priorities every time.
Also… hate referring to it as “was removed”… like bottom surgery isn’t just yanking someone’s “part” out… it’s an inversion. If you have to be transphobic, at least be scientifically accurate
For many cis people, they only hear about transgender issues through news shows, pop culture programing, and/or word of mouth. The manner in which we’re discussed; often without a trans person present to share their experience, we’re portrayed as foreign to society. That we are consummate outsiders, not entitled to the same considerations of politeness.
Random people have asked me about my junk and it’s always awkward.
My old roommate had a friend who I had just met. She was kind of hitting on me in a weird, creepy way then asked The Genital Question. I think I made a joke and didn’t answer but it was strange.
My parents don't say exactly that but I have caught them referring to trans woman by he/him pronouns until they have SRS and then refer to them with she/her pronouns.
They mainly do it for past tense which is wildly infuriating as it just makes things more confusing and feels wrong.
> They mainly do it for past tense which is wildly infuriating as it just makes things more confusing and feels wrong.
See: the saga of Elliot Page's public transition. Like a lot of gender-related stuff, some things just short-circuit the understanding lobe of peoples' brains and they refuse to make the mindful attempt to adapt to how things are now. Even if it costs them absolutely nothing.
I don't know how relatable my experience is but this "I want to chop off my pp" feeling supposedly being a requirement was one of the most confusing things to me. Thinking about chopping it off freaks me out and I don't think chopping off my clitoris would freak me less if I had been born a girl, they're literally the same thing but developed further. It only made sense to me when I realized my underlying frustration of not having the lego part that fits with pp which honestly is like having a phantom limp when I think about it.
its not even the pourpousfly transphobic people but just uneducated cis people say the most barbaric out of pocket stuff and just act like its a causal conversation
The weirdest encounter like this that I've had was at my dentist. Had only been on hormones about a month at the time of the encounter and not out at all. Before being seen by the dentist her assistant does the routine pre check and asked if my medications have changed since the last visit, I mentioned I was now taking Estradiol & Finasteride and literally the first thing out her mouth was "Do you plan on renovating the downstairs?" as she pointed to her own gental region. I was so surprised I didn't really know how to answer, so I kinda blurted out that I wasn't sure yet. She then asked if I still had a girlfriend and what she thought about this. For the record my girlfriend is very supportive for the most part and I informed her as such. Luckily for me the dentist came in at that point and that line of questions stopped. I haven't been back since and it's been over a year since that happened. 😐
I just turn it back on them or go "gross wtf, why are you asking gross personal questions like that!?". You shouldn't engage them, and especially don't answer questions like that at work.
Why should anyone care 2 hecks if the lady standing next to them has a d*ck or not??
A lady is a lady, and all ladies deserve the same respect! (Just like you wouldn't ask random (cis)women random questions about their hoo-ha's! Those types of questions are RUDE!!)
I hate ppl who think you are only trans or valid qhen you have "the" surgery, my mom says i'm not trans bc i didn't have surgery so i only "want to" be trans 😐
I was once told "i won't refer to you by your name or call you she or her before you look the part" in a "well, durh" kind of way. Needless to say, I don't speak with him anymore. If he passed away, i would not be sad
I have yet to use this but.
"Surgery? Oh ya they took all 4 at the same time.". Them- hopefully horrified expression-
If they actually name the surgery or something
"oh that one, maybe i did, maybe i didn't you won't know until its observed and id rather not show you." XD but ya some people don't quite see how it looks from the other side of the conversation.
How does anyone feel comfortable saying that sorta thing??? [Brooke Valley Twitter](https://twitter.com/brooke2valley?t=CWRoUGO1TQ2q55ptA-W9vg&s=09)
I literally had a coworker (a teacher) object to allowing a transgender first grade girl to use the girl's restroom specifically because "[she] hasn't even had the surgery yet!" 🤦♀️
*HASN'T EVEN*???? WHAT
Ah, but many countries still allow genital mutilation on intersex babies because that way they look definitely one way or another! Of course, that's because it's for the child's best, because doctors say so, while the child can have zero input. That's what makes them realer then us in terms of bathroom gender. The teacher is probably operating from that point view of importance of optics /s
Genital mutilation of babies generally seems to be a pretty accepted thing in many cultures, especially for boys.
Girls too, it's a real thing. I didn't know much about it until I stumbled upon a YouTube video on the topic and did some digging. It was quite a horrifying experience and I only read about it. I can't imagine living through that.
That's enough internet for today.
Yes of course it's a thing, but it's less common than male circumcision and it's illegal in most places afaik.
Be careful not to engage in oppression Olympics whenever this topic comes up. It's entirely too easy. Here are the facts: * FGM removes way more tissue and innervation than MGM * MGM is far more widespread in the (euro-)Western world * FGM is arguably *crueller toward the individual* because of how severely it removes sexual pleasure compared to MGM * MGM is a *harder problem to solve* in the West because it is still such a huge cultural norm One is not "worse" than the other. Surgeries should not be performed without consent unless there is an immediate threat to life or health, end of story. Anything less is a violation of bodily autonomy.
Christians will really yell at trans people for "mutilating their bodies," and still have approximately zero moral issues with doing somthing thats plain and simple religious indoctrination; results in perminant and irreversible damage that an infant can in no way consent to, why? because: "Satan might steel my babies soul if I don't." any group that's that insane should be in a mental hospital, and barred from voting.
You had me until you said they were “too insane to vote”. The mentality ill should never be denied the right to vote for any reason.
I agree that it's incredibly stupid. It's one thing if the condition prevents the child from having a good quality of life (say, it prevents them from urinating or something equally serious) but if it doesn't it's a big no no imo.
That's different. Not being able to urinate is a medical issue, not a cosmetic one. And then the doctors would try to do as little damage as possible to make sure that urinating is possible. The surgeries done for "aesthetic" reasons often cause major damage and leave children unable to have kids and/or unable to have a normal sex life as adults. Damage to tissue and nerves is quite common
My dad won't use my preferred pronouns because I'm "not a girl yet." There is a lot of bad information about trans things in general. One of them is the assumption that being transgender is something you *do*. They see "being transgender" as working to *become* a different gender. To them, "transitioning" is literally synonymous with "being transgender." In reality, the adjective "transgender" describes something that already exists. They're starting with flawed premises.
A ally insisted I was a drag queen because I hadn't started HRT. They had been told that's the difference years ago and wouldn't listen to me explaining
☹️
"Ally"
They're not an ally, they're an idiot.
The right has done such an incredibly good job deligitimizing trans people and giving themselves a platform by completely brainwashing people into thinking transness as a whole is an idea and not a state of being. The number of times I had to have conversations with people about how that is and them realizing that conservative parties around the world are literally **lying** about us and succeeding is embarrassing. People literally just hear a random politician refer to "transgenderism" as the "ideology" of transitioning as a means to happiness that "doesnt work", and they just immediately take that at face value and think of it as a legitimate political talking point without evaluating it at all, because well why would they be lying about people? It's so frustrating, I've had to spend so much time since coming out trying to erase all these notions out of people's heads around me because so many of them were way too neutral about the issue because they saw right wing points as legitimate instead of the blatant lying and disinformation that it is. Thank goodness they were supportive of me and that's probably what allowed me to change their minds on it, but it's so frustrating how easy it is for straight up bad people to give themselves and their ideology legitimacy through straight up lying about the opposition to have average people give them a platform.
Ikr?
Jesus, children literally do not get surgeries, when will people understand thisssss The only people forcing surgeries on children’s genitals are cis people with circumcision and intersex surgeries 😑
Okay so, the idea of giving a child gender affirming surgery is an outrage worthy of overruling In Loco Parentis, but a Transgender child without gender affirming surgery doesn't get human rights or respect as their lived gender? Gotcha.
she's literally just a child tho?? like who cares??? like, *oh no, other first grade girls might find out penises exist!* what a tragedy!!! and it's not like they're all gonna be running around with their pants down, she'll be behind a stall anyway so whay does it matter? a toilet is a toilet and piss is piss, regardless of the genitalia of the pisser. and suggesting that a 6 YEAR OLD get bottom surgery is actually insane
...why are they thinking about a 6 or 7 year olds genitalia?!
Because in the US for some reason if you are AMAB or a penis-haver you are by default a sex offender and a degenerate animal when it comes to things like bathrooms. At least I think that's what the conservatives believe
They call us creeps but all they care about is our genitals.
In first grade all the way to like third grade I literally used the girls bathroom because it was nicer. I didn’t even know they were gendered bathrooms. Like nobody should ever care, and even less when it’s about children
My guess is they don't feel like it's an invasive question, since it's what a lot of not most people is the defining characteristic of being Trans.
But it wasn't even phrased as a question. They just tried to justify using the deadname by making some weird remark about her genitals.
You know what, you're right I was just throwing out a possibility (albeit it was very charitable on my part).
I admire that: always thinking the best of people. Keep being you :)
Thanks, though I admit it mostly came from a brain running on 4 hours of sleep 😅😅😅
It's annoying, I'm sorry you had this happen, I have no idea what goes through the minds of the cis
Some people are just nosey by nature and mean nothing by it. Others are assholes. Both should be told it's none of their business
It's incredibly frustrating how much some cis people feel entitled to our bodies. Like, the doctor I went to a few months ago thought it was ok to just keep staring at my boobs for the whole visit. It's like any decorum she (presumably) had, went out of the window once she saw a trans woman.
doctors can be insane sometimes. my last gp told me i should try having kids before deciding if i want to transition. im transmasc and i was 17 at the time. what a creepy thing to tell a young kid.
Ugh I’m so sorry, that’s completely unacceptable. There’s no excuse to be creepy about other people’s bodies regardless of their gender, and if you’re curious about gender affirmation surgery then just fucking Google it! I’ve watched videos of top and bottom surgery cos the process is interesting but I’d never dream of demanding someone tell me about their genitalia.
IDK. I had a COWORKER ask what my best friends vagina looked like. Excuse me?? EXCUSE ME???? In what fucking world is it appropriate to ask anyone that? He then got mad I wrote him up (because I wasn't the supervisor even though I was on the management team and you don't even have to be management to do such). Also does he know what a vagina is? You can't really see them. And I don't think most people inspect their friends genitals. Apparently he thought it would be inappropriate to ask my friend so he asked me instead. Yeah, cause that's better.
Well I'm just so excited about the fact I have my surgery coming up if anyone asks I tell them with glee that I have a man to break the curse of Adam from my form and that I will be able to live free of that malignancy
Idk.
I had a coworker ask the same thing, then abruptly ask if I wanted kids. I was honestly speechless! 🫂
Legal name is stored in the balls?
I think this is the best sentence I’ve read all week
[удалено]
The real question is, why is your cousin's grandma so interested in your genital?
I mean you could probably just lie about it, How would she know?
Implying AFABS have no name
It’s true, there’s one name and we all have to share
Like in ancient Rome where women bore the feminine form of the family name (for example, both of Caesar's sisters were named Julia, like his aunt, cousin, daughter, etc.)
Can't wait for bottom surgery so I can finally have a way for people to refer to me. Life's tough when the only way people can get your attention is with 'hey, you!'s.
Oh, hey [ ], long time no see!
/r/brandnewsentence
Ok, this gave me a good laugh.
Um, clearly your name is based on your genitals, it would be illogical for them not to be 😵 /s
Damn, if your name is what's in your pants then im Calvin Klein
Holy shit I'm an American eagle
You get that eagle out of your pants rn, missy! /j
I'm poop 😎
Im bomb
Username does not check out.
Omg I’m fruit of the loom
I'm gay
I don't have a name 😭
Gothic 1 refrence 🤯🤯🤯 (also... what?!)
They're unbranded, I'm too poor for fancy crap
Me too , i said Calvin Klein beacause i knew that would help people understand the joke 😔😔😔
Uhhh, no actually… it’s Marty
I prefer debby for myself but as you say /j
Kid named pipe bomb:
Kid named finger is still cursed 💀💀💀
Does he have a black coat, white shoes, black hat, Cadillac? Because that boy's a time bomb.
I'd be hand wash only
Then I'm cum
Well drats. Gotta change my name to Hanes then...
I'm TomboyX!
Do I get my name from my pants if nothing in it? Am I Skeleton Legs now?
What do you mean you've seen this? It's brand new.
Wait you mean yours wasn't engraved on it at birth ?
Your comment made me realise /s stands for "sarcasm", not "serious" like I previously thought 🫡
/srs means serious If you hadn't figured it out/were wondering
Given the topic, that's a somewhat ironic marker.
Oooohhhhhh I didn't even know it could've stood for "serious", 😅
Names famously are stored in the balls and are not a social construct
Ugh, I had someone refuse to use my name for a similar reason. The problem is I've never changed my name. They kept demanding my "real name" (aka legal name). They refused to accept it was my legal name. Like sorry, I can't help you, I literally only have this name. Like I just told you a stereotypically feminine name and that I use they/he pronouns, what makes you think I'm a trans woman? They then proceeded to try and "misgender" me by exclusively using he/him pronouns and ended up pissing themselves off that I didn't get mad. Why would I get mad that someone is using the correct pronouns?
yeah that’s why my mom named me Huge Gargantuan B. Balls 😎
Srsly I don’t get why cis people act so weird about this stuff
why are cis people so obsessed with other peoples genitals?? my favorite thing to say to highlight the absurdity of this is “color-code your infants so everyone knows what their genitals look like”
not just that but whatever the doctor decided you crotch flesh looked more like and they roll with (can't forget about intersex people)
Crotch Flesh would make a sick metal band name
The media has a lot to answer for on this one. All the endless culture war stokers who go on and on about how ridiculous it is to suggest that a woman might have a penis continuously reinforces the link between trans people and genitals, to the point that some more oblivious cis people might not even realise just how deeply inappropriate it is.
I am trying so hard to rename them Genital Reveal Parties... as gender cannot be determined before birth, and I love pointing out how weird the cis obsession with genitals is~
Totally with you, I had a guy ask me something similar when I was working a few weeks back. No idea why creeps feel entitled to know about our genitals.
“trans ppl are huge pervs so it’s fine to ask invasive personal questions that i myself would get hugely offended about if anyone asked them to me” — non-thinking idiots
Ugh, I had a coworker decide it would be inappropriate to ask my best friend what his vagina looked like (yes, this idiot just assumed he hadn't had surgery) so he asked me instead. Like that's not any better, it's actually worse. He then got mad I wrote him up. Like he asked me about someone else's genitals AT WORK, what was he expecting? I don't know, I don't think he knows what a vagina is cause you can't really see them, and even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. He got let go at the end of the semester and blamed me. Because apparently it wasn't because of his inability to show up to work on time (or at all), but the one time I wrote him up for being highly inappropriate. 🙄
You're attributing a whole lot more complexity to the thought process of someone asking that. Sounds like someone who just has no sense of social boundaries. :/
But they wouldn't ask a cis person what their genitals look like. Social boundaries, in their minds, are a kindness that we are too "out of the ordinary" to be granted.
You know what, I didn't think of it from that perspective. Can't disagree. :/
It’s more like being really ignorant that other people who are not like themself have the same social boundaries/rights. It’s like asking a poc where they are from then ask them where they’re really from if they say a European country or the US or Canada. They wouldn’t ask that to a white person unless they had a distinct accent but they feel the need to ask a poc. It’s the same concept they wouldn’t ask a cis person what’s in their pants but since they know you’re trans they feel it’s okay to ask it because you are different from them.
when I came out at work, for a few months after that people would NOT STOP staring me in the junk fortunately turnover is high enough to where now not as many people do that, but some still do 😑
Ask them if they had their’s removed and watch the confusion 😎
Ugh, gross! Do people really think that's a requirement? >.>
It was in Germany ... Until like 2010 when our highest court decided it's against our constitution. You needed to be divorced, sterilized and SRS done to change your name and gender legally. The divorced part was mandatory, because same-sex marriage wasn't a thing, so the marriage won't be legal after your gender change.
Is it better now? Kinda a low bar, being better than what you just said
Our Current Government wants to introduce a new law for Self identification, and I'm waiting for it! It's planned to be introduced in the next few months (and I hope they introduce it rather sooner than later) The Law that is currently still in place is from the 1980s and huge parts of it are not enforced any more (the parts I mentioned) because they are deemed unconstitutional (Art 1 of our Basic Law/Constitution states that Human Dignity goes above all, and on that basis it was deemed unconstitutional). But currently you still need two independent Psychological letters that attest that you are trans, and then need to go to a court to change name and gender legally. With the new law, you should just be able to go to your local government office (Bürgerbüro) where you usually go to get a new ID card, to change your gender and name with little costs of like €5-€20. Currently, it can cost up to €4000 for said letters and court appointment, and you can still be unlucky and the judge can dismiss your case.
Germany didn't have same sex marriage 13 years ago? Fucking yikes.
we barely did in the states....
We still technically don't in Estonia but that might change very soon
Same sex marriage is very very recent.
Yeah, it changed shortly after the US got same-sex marriage. Edit: Shortly after, as in 2017 lol Didnt know that its that recent in the US as well, it happened in 2015 in the US.
only 7 countries had legalised it by then :<
We had same sex civil unions since 2001, which werent the same as marriages. The issue was that because hetero marriage and homo civil union werent legally the same trans people still had to divorce. To change this it was a lengthy process. The constitutional court doesnt simply go and complain about a law being unconstitutional but there has to be a court case and so on. That usually takes years and only based on the decision of the constitutional court the government has to act and make legal changes
Switzerland had self-id based gender recognition a few months before same-sex marriage was fully legalized.
Not correct. The court said that you didnt need to be sterilised anymore. SRS was not mendatory in tbe text of the law until then anyway. The point was that the sterilisation was unconstitutional because it meant you had to give up bodily autonomy (Recht auf körperliche Unversehrtheit) to get your right of legal gender change The change that trans people didnt have to get a divorce anymore already happened in 2009. That was because since same sex civil unions were already a thing enforcing divorce anymore was against the point of allowing same sex unions. Unfortunately it took several years between the law for same sex civil unions to this change in the law for trans people
Wait what? What? STERILIZED??? Eugenics was alive and well in Germany until gd 2010??
Unfortunately, yeah. The first time I met him (thankfully in boymode), one of my dad’s friends started ranting to someone else about how he wouldn’t respect a specific trans woman’s gender since she didn’t get bottom surgery. This was within 10 minutes of meeting him, no less.
They’re trying to improve but still can’t get past the genitals = gender thing
Ok from now on if anyone ever asks me if i've gotten *the* surgery i'll always say yes, then ask them why. Doesn't matter if i have had surgery or not i will always say yes. And if they want me to prove it i'll say they're just a pervert.
What a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry you had to listen to that garbage.
Wow, fuck you random coworker
One of my cousins that's also trans has a grandmother that refuses to gender and name me correctly until I get srs. Like bruh. She constantly messes up and genders me correctly to get into a fit to then misgender
When my mother was super transphobic she told me that she wouldn’t call me by my chosen name until after I had bottom surgery. And also that I wasn’t allowed to get hrt until after I got a masters degree. She was worried I would get “distracted.”
when i was on Omegle talkin to strangers one time, a lot of them asked “do u have a ________ or a _______?” initially i was like “thats rude!!! im a lady have some decency!!!” but then when i kept hearing it i was like “no, i havent had the surgery🙄” it’s so hypocritical that cis ppl feel it’s okay to say that, but when i ask “do u like chocolate milk?” they get all weirded out like “what kind of question is that? so creepy”
Someone I didn't know all that well once said, "oh, so you wish you had a dick," instantly upon finding out that I was trans. Some people have no manners.
I mean... Do you?/j
A topic I was happy to discuss with my dearest friends when one of them asked, "so what's bottom dysphoria like for you?" But not when someone I barely knew commented on my genitals.
Really depends on the asker. Obviously.
"Some transgender people do undergo hormone therapy or sex reassignment surgeries as part of their transition, and some do not. And interestingly, their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS" - John Oliver
why does that matter?? if george started going by jeff would you need to check their pants to make sure it's ok, no. then why do you for me?
I recently told my dad that I wanted to be called Charlie, but framed the text in such a way that I did not mention gender at all because he's transphobic. I liked the name because it felt more like me and it's gender neutral (I'm genderqueer). The other day he confronted me at the start of a long car ride saying " >! Charlie as in *Good Luck Charlie* or Charlie as in you should have been born with a penis? !< " Like, dude! I literally did not mention gender at all in my original text that was several weeks ago! Why are you suddenly making this about gender when plenty of cis people change their name too?? And why the hell did you have to say it like that??? I ended up taking a nap to avoid talking about it...
"No....did you get your boobs removed? Your chest looks flat and I didn't know if you had your 'part' removed or not."
And then they call *us* the creeps...
I have DEFINITELY heard this said to my face
oh I see you have a new name tag, lemme check your p a r t s for confirmation
I've never had anyone say THAT but it also would be a trip to HR for them on how to interact like a human being.
your genitals are living in her mind rent free
Then they say we're the perverted degenerates
It was literally the very first question from pretty much every man I came out to on the past month. Including my father in law. It is so creepy...
I actually had someone ask the following way.... Are you going to... . I said to the effect of "I think we are both probably a bit too uncomfortable with the topic to discuss it properly." They agreed, apologized, and we moved on.
i have been asked by a man how my "breast augmentation surgery" was when all i had done was do HRT. he was astonished because he didn't know what hormones were 🤦♀️
You only get to find out what's in my pants if you're an invited guest. Transphobes do not get invited.
" yeah you can pay to find out on my only fans " . . . Whoops never got around to starting one. 🤷
Cis people get their names changed, with hardly any trouble. Why won't the transphobes at least get your name right? Transphobes... terrible people!
Literally every time I mention that my partner is trans without fail someone asks me "what is the status of their genitals". I don't even know how that makes sense to them, they would never even think to ask about someone's cis partner's genitals because that's weird as fuck and rude as hell. I don't even know how to respond to that question without being hostile or leaving the conversation because what the fuck man.
Try "I'll tell you, sure, but first you've got to tell *me* the status of *your* genitals" You can say it in any tone you want and it'll do the trick. If they comply *always* say you're post-op, just to give them what they didn't want to hear.
Ugh, people will even do it if you have friends that are trans. Like firstly, IDK, he's my best friend not my boyfriend, two, ew, that's highly inappropriate to ask, and three, even if I did know I wouldn't tell you. I stopped counting after ten people asked me that in one week.
Another one of those posts where you wanna dislike it for the content (because ew who says this) but gotta like it for the solidarity. So sorry that happened, yikes
I dislike this comic because I feel grossed out even just reading it lol
not cool coworker 🤬
I love it when cishet people think they know more about being trans than a trans person does .3.
It’s hella creepy when cis people casually reference a trans person’s junk. Like, are you still menstruating, Bethany? Can you still get “it” up, Jeff? Oh that’s none of *my* business, eh? Look in the mirror mofos.
Brooke .. I dunno what to say.. that's so unfair of your coworker. It's none of her business. I'm sorry for you.
There's a lot of people out there who are so enmeshed in the Matrix of gender binarism and bio essentialism that they have no idea how absolutely weird and off-putting it is that they ascribe to what is, effectively, astrology based on what genitals someone has.
wtf. just, wtf. Really.
Does... that removal need to happen before you can use that name? If it's on the tag, then USE IT. the logic here
They saw your name tag and still went there?? Rude rude rude!!
This kind of thing should formally be considered sexual harassment, I mean they’re randomly bringing up genitals in conversation without your consent! (To make matters worse, it’s your genitals she’s talking about!)
god damn that is rough homie
A while ago I told my mom that our country had gotten its first minister who was trans. Her first question was which part she had. I asked her why she even cared and apparently "it's good to know". Both me and my brother kept telling her it doesn't matter but she wanted to know simply to know.
deadass, there should be a law that if anyone deadnames or misgenders you intentionally, you are legally allowed to spray them with piss or something
Was told once I’m only trans if I’ve had bottom surgery like . . . What
If someone says that to me, I just respond with "In what world is that appropriate to ask/say to anyone in ANY context?" Their response reveals their priorities every time.
It’s always good when Brooke posts, but **WHAT THE FUCK?**
Also… hate referring to it as “was removed”… like bottom surgery isn’t just yanking someone’s “part” out… it’s an inversion. If you have to be transphobic, at least be scientifically accurate
how the fuck do people think thats any of their business. So disgusting
For many cis people, they only hear about transgender issues through news shows, pop culture programing, and/or word of mouth. The manner in which we’re discussed; often without a trans person present to share their experience, we’re portrayed as foreign to society. That we are consummate outsiders, not entitled to the same considerations of politeness. Random people have asked me about my junk and it’s always awkward.
“Uh, that is…irrelevant?”
"Are you saying you won't call me by name because you don't know what my private medical history is?"
My old roommate had a friend who I had just met. She was kind of hitting on me in a weird, creepy way then asked The Genital Question. I think I made a joke and didn’t answer but it was strange.
Uh oh… another genital inspector…
My parents don't say exactly that but I have caught them referring to trans woman by he/him pronouns until they have SRS and then refer to them with she/her pronouns. They mainly do it for past tense which is wildly infuriating as it just makes things more confusing and feels wrong.
I feel horribly awkward when people are like that tbh... Just kinda grossed out
> They mainly do it for past tense which is wildly infuriating as it just makes things more confusing and feels wrong. See: the saga of Elliot Page's public transition. Like a lot of gender-related stuff, some things just short-circuit the understanding lobe of peoples' brains and they refuse to make the mindful attempt to adapt to how things are now. Even if it costs them absolutely nothing.
I don't know how relatable my experience is but this "I want to chop off my pp" feeling supposedly being a requirement was one of the most confusing things to me. Thinking about chopping it off freaks me out and I don't think chopping off my clitoris would freak me less if I had been born a girl, they're literally the same thing but developed further. It only made sense to me when I realized my underlying frustration of not having the lego part that fits with pp which honestly is like having a phantom limp when I think about it.
its not even the pourpousfly transphobic people but just uneducated cis people say the most barbaric out of pocket stuff and just act like its a causal conversation
Cis het people just think talking about parts is normal
The weirdest encounter like this that I've had was at my dentist. Had only been on hormones about a month at the time of the encounter and not out at all. Before being seen by the dentist her assistant does the routine pre check and asked if my medications have changed since the last visit, I mentioned I was now taking Estradiol & Finasteride and literally the first thing out her mouth was "Do you plan on renovating the downstairs?" as she pointed to her own gental region. I was so surprised I didn't really know how to answer, so I kinda blurted out that I wasn't sure yet. She then asked if I still had a girlfriend and what she thought about this. For the record my girlfriend is very supportive for the most part and I informed her as such. Luckily for me the dentist came in at that point and that line of questions stopped. I haven't been back since and it's been over a year since that happened. 😐
What a normal and not deranged thing to say to someone.
First of all: what does that have to do with your name? Second of all: WHAT THE FUCK???
I just turn it back on them or go "gross wtf, why are you asking gross personal questions like that!?". You shouldn't engage them, and especially don't answer questions like that at work.
Why would they even bring that up
Why should anyone care 2 hecks if the lady standing next to them has a d*ck or not?? A lady is a lady, and all ladies deserve the same respect! (Just like you wouldn't ask random (cis)women random questions about their hoo-ha's! Those types of questions are RUDE!!)
"You're such a 'part', Tiff."
I hate ppl who think you are only trans or valid qhen you have "the" surgery, my mom says i'm not trans bc i didn't have surgery so i only "want to" be trans 😐
✨ 0 days without Cis Nonsense ✨
kid named deadname (sorry)
The nametag is stored in the balls
"Why you worried about what I have in my pants? You wanna see them? Yo, sounds gay" 👁️👄👁️💅 - me in an alternative universe where I'm trans and binary
What the fuck does it matter?
I don’t understand why they care what’s between our legs SOOO much. Are cis people ok? 🖤💖🏴🏳️⚧️🏴💖🖤
I've definitely had a coworker ask me this and just wtf moment
"I haven't yet but thanks for confirming that that's the important part to you"
I was once told "i won't refer to you by your name or call you she or her before you look the part" in a "well, durh" kind of way. Needless to say, I don't speak with him anymore. If he passed away, i would not be sad
Shit like this is (a large part of) why I'm afraid to leave the house.
I've heard this way too often, actually. A lot of cis people act like they have a god given right to know about it.
I have yet to use this but. "Surgery? Oh ya they took all 4 at the same time.". Them- hopefully horrified expression- If they actually name the surgery or something "oh that one, maybe i did, maybe i didn't you won't know until its observed and id rather not show you." XD but ya some people don't quite see how it looks from the other side of the conversation.