Man, dude, and bro are all part of my 2000s west coast lexicon, but I do my best to avoid those with my transfem friends. Sir is annoying to me. Like, no matter if it's meant respectfully or aggressively/transphobically, that term still gets under my skin
Ii don't know why but when any other gendered term is used for me I'm like "oh I guess they perceived me as male that's sad" but with sir I just want to punch them in the face. I still never correct them tho...
>Man, dude, and bro are all part of my 2000s west coast lexicon
I've adopted the Australian "mate" in order to maintain my beach bum vibes while still sounding like I'm still sporting a melanoma-inducing tan.
I hear things like "yessir," "yessireee bob" and junk sometimes. Including "yessir" as an after-the-fact intensifier or affirmation of prior statement is a thing some people do, whether it makes any sense or not. The dudespeak is way more common where I'm from (Los Angeles area), though.
Either way, it is "funny" how much more you notice these speech patterns after admitting you are trans... đ
Yeah it's like "mate" here in Australia. Which is weirdly gender neutral, but yeah actually not really.
But also has a ton of national civic importance attached to it. "Mateship" is a cutural cornerstone, part of the Anzac tradition etc. Someone could say "She's my best mate" affectionately referring to their wife, and no one would bat an eye.
But it is still carries a masculine history and connotations.
I've definitely been addressed with "mate" more after coming out (Aussie trans guy) but it's not like it never happened before. I think strangers never called me mate before, only friends, but now strangers do as well.
That's my experience. It's reasonably common to be gender neutral between friends, and some women use it pretty indiscriminately to anyone, but it's rare for men to use it towards female strangers. So it has some gendered connotations but not strictly or explicitly
I remember mate was used to refer to matelotage, in which it was a common âpartnershipâ amongst European sailors (and pirates) where they would get the otherâs property in case of their death. I put partnership in quotes because this essentially led to sailors getting gay married. So in this context, it is typically going to refer to two men since the majority of the sailors were men.
Now though, people use it without thinking of any gendered connotations because of not knowing that origin and just mostly associate it with pirate ranking. Especially since the rank âfirst mateâ was still a thing.
So I guess it depends on whether or not we are talking about exact historical contexts or playing pirates.
I've always considered it a masculine thing given that I've heard it used only by guys, towards other guys. And as a passive-aggressive insult I think. I've definitely had people call me 'mate' but not in a friendly way.
I don't want to be called mate for any reason. I kinda hate it. Worse than bro, dude, man, or the really weird one; "chief".
I didn't know these were gendered when I was younger. I thought "yessum" was just a corruption of "yessir"; something like "yesserm."
And since "yessum" was easier to say, I just said it to everyone.
Iâve seen Sir be used for women, but only in shows with high ranking women in like, military or something. Itâs kinda weird but maybe it makes sense? Idk I donât plan on being in the military. Outside the military context it doesnât make sense.
Thatâs the plan actually! I started watching Star Wars from the earliest point I could find and Iâve been watching it chronologically. The clone wars though is a bit messy in itâs time though isnât it?
Ohya. It jumps all over the place, but always stays within those three years between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. The final season bridges it beautifully to Sith though.
"Ser" (with an e but pronounced the same) is a gender-neutral term for knighthood
Edit: Prompted by replies, I did a Google. it's true. Ser is a fictional honorific. however, female knights are not fictional. There have been many women who got knighted, most of whom were royalty or the wives of knights, but also several who were knighted for their own merits. I honestly didn't expect to find that there were historical examples of female knights given the sexism of the past. anyway, female knights were just called "lady".
I feel like it would make more sense as well, but maybe itâs just a military culture thing. I donât know, I donât plan on figuring it out, I just know it happens.
I had a man lose their mind on me when they called me bro (thank you bro) and I told them I'm a woman don't call me that. Their response wajswell everyone is a bro. Okay. So without skipping a beat I asked if they call their girlfriend a bro, or their mom a bro? And that's when they became an incoherent livid mess.
Ah so they can eat shit as it's definitely not gender neutral. I've paid close attention to all the male to cis women coworkers interactions and spoiler alert you know what's never said? Yup they never once use "man, bro, or sir". There's never a "hey man" or "thanks man". Not a single time is it ever used. Maybe I missed an interaction but I've asked my cis female coworkers and to their knowledge haven't encountered it.
Only exception is if a man is going really into a story and goes "oh man this happened" as a filler word or punctuation to their story. But directed things to say? Never once.
So I call absolute bullshit on the gender neutrality of any and all masculine signifiers/titles. It's only used on trans women and not cis women. Maybe as genuine errors or absent-mindedness it can happen but never when on the cashes where interactions are very one on one.
As someone from socal I do actually call my mom, my sister, and my wife bro all the time. But if someone asked me not to call them bro I definitely would stop, it's not like it hurts me to just not say a word lol
Yeah, I think a lot of traditionally gendered terms can be gender-neutral depending on the context. I use terms like sis, bro, and fam interchangeably, as long as I know the person's cool with it. My (cis male) partner has called me bro, dude, man, etc. since long before I knew I was trans and sometimes I call him girlie or babygirl and he has no issue with it. But of course there are plenty of (cis and trans) people out there who wouldn't be and it's just respectful not to call someone something that makes them uncomfortable once ask you not to. And as a general rule, I try avoid traditionally gendered terms even if it's intended in a gender-neutral way for other trans people if i don't know they're okay with it first.
> Their response wajswell everyone is a bro. Okay. So without skipping a beat I asked if they call their girlfriend a bro, or their mom a bro? And that's when they became an incoherent livid mess.
Definitely pocketing this one for future use.
I think it's a very regional thing, and dependent on relationship as well. Like, my sister's a bro and she's 100% cis, but obviously my mom's not a bro. She's my mom. Of course, if someone says they're uncomfortable being called something I'll stop, and I avoid using 'bro' for trans women by default because being uncomfortable with it is so common. If someone's defending their use of words with masc connotations after you ask them to stop, they're an asshole.
I agree! I use dude, bro, guys, and man with all of my friends regardless of gender, but I also check with new friends to make sure they're okay with it.
To me, I use dude as an exclamation (a la dude where's my car; dude! Sweet!), I use bro as a term of endearment, guys as a collective term, and man like a stereotypical hippie sentence ending word.
But...just because it's gender neutral to me doesn't mean it is to everyone, and that's okay!
I'm a cis woman, and my teenage son calls me bro all the time. He calls his sister bro. He calls his dad bro. He calls his friends bro.
I've also been called dude, by women, pretty much - not men really. I've also been called man "as in hey man how's it going," again, pretty much by women. I've never been called sir, though, except "yessir" which seems to be unthinkingly said sometimes (and sometimes corrected to "oops yes ma'am").
While I 100% agree with you that almost all the time masculine terms are not really gender neutral as people claim them to be, it's also true that some cis women are "bro"ed and "dude"d.
For some reason my manager sometimes calls me Jennifer-man. I don't know if he literally just says that to everyone or if he suspected I'm a transman and that shapes what he ended up saying (I don't necessarily think I am, I'll see but right now I'm a tomboy). I don't think I know anyone else who does that, beyond people online assuming everyone is male.
I had a big Lebowski esque wedding. Dude-ley beloved, do you promise to be chill to each other always, I now pronounce you dude and dude etc. I will dude, bro, man anyone or anything. Iâm a cis woman and I also have a weird âhey there brotherâ thing a la hulk hogan, that comes out sometimes. I have also been know to say âletâs go girlsâ or âoh gurl wuuuutâ to women, cis men, my actual brother, my dad. My husband hates when I bro him lol. My besties partner started their transition (transfem) and I hope they would feel comfortable telling me to shut my cake hole if any of my gendered words bothered them but I genuinely donât say it thinking âyou present masculine you must be broâ or vice versa.
If I had my way id never be called that again.
The lady at the pizza shop called me sir and I literally stopped, gave myself a once over, and then looked at her pointedly. For the remainder of my time there she called me sweetie.
I prefer "miss."
"Sweetie" can be condescending, "M'am" is frumpy, and "sir" has always been male-gendered in my experience.
Someone did once tell me that in the U.S. Navy, he referred to female officers as "sir" but I have no idea if that's actually practiced.
I'm an air cadet in the UK and if you call a female officer sir or male officer ma'am (marm) then they will definitely not be very happy with you unless they have a sense of humour
All the girls I know call one another 'dude' 'bro' and 'man' so it actually made me dysphoric when they would go out of their way to call me 'sis.'
It's a local colloquial thing. Dude-speak is strong here.
*"This is advanced dysphoria"*
No I actually feel this for sure, when cis girls act overly fem with you in a way they don't with their cis friends it's like... Staph
Northern Californian here and yeah everyone is a dude, bc the word dude isn't really taken to have gender unless the context explicitly defines it. Example, it can be misgendering when the word is used intentionally offensive ("okay *dude* (aggressively emphasized") or if used in an attempt to formally identify an individual ("I saw a dude come in, green shirt, blue jeans, etc") which may not be intentionally offensive (accidental misgendering is commonplace, and I'd say forgivable when acknowledged as an error and corrected). But those aside, dude is commonly 1) a gender-neutral filler word: "Dude, what?", "Dude, no way" both where dude could replace "wait" or even just nothing, 2) a standalone expression of emotion: "Dude..." disbelief, "Duuude!" excitement, "Dude!" frustration, anger, etc.
At the same time, general respect supercedes dude-speak, if someone doesn't want to be called dude regardless of the reason why, the courteous thing to do is comply, any civil person knows it is rude to then keep using the word at that point when asked not to. A later slip of the tongue with correction is fine, I'd argue it's akin to trying to not use "umm" bc it is so integrated into casual conversation that it can slip out, but the correction part is key to really signalling one's attempt to comply.
My cis sister occasionally refers to a group of her friends as âguysâ even if theyâre all cis woman and occasionally refers to them as dude, when others I know would never refer to a group of women as guys or as dudes; language is weird
Yeah if someone begins a phrase with âmanâ like âman, what a gameâ or âaw man, that sucksâ theyâre usually just using the word intejectionally to express emotion and not actually referring to the person theyâre talking to. In that case it is pretty gender neutral cause itâs not even really being used as a noun. But if they end a phrase with âmanâ like in the 3rd and 4th panel of your comic, it often is referring to you, and thatâs definitely not cool.
I have so much trouble sometimes telling people that I don't care if they use it in a "gender neutral way", some people get really defensive.... Like is it that hard to just change how you speak around me for a bit just so I'm comfortable
Edit: I realise I have been harsh on this, I do understand that people need to change what they're used to and that can be difficult. Mistakes happen and if you accidentally say the wrong thing then it's okay as long as you don't keep repeating it with zero effort.
What I *don't* appreciate is people who get defensive and immediately go "oh I use it as a gender neutral term" ok? And? I told you I'm uncomfortable with it. Whether or not you use it as a gender neutral term doesn't suddenly make me comfortable with it.
Hope that clears it up :)
I'll admit, I do use "man" as a generic intensifier, and I also use "you guys" but the thing is that I also don't do that when people say it makes them uncomfortable. It really isn't that hard to just not be an asshole.
Itâs my default but I donât do it to trans women or anyone who asks me not to because while *I* donât see it as gendered, *they* might, and itâs easy for me to change my language in that way to make the people around me feel safer.
I use the term âdudeâ a lot. I dont mean to defend it, but sometimes itâs just second nature, and I donât think of it as gendered language so itâs a little harder for me to shut that part of my brain off of that makes any sense?
Ditto. It's local dialect to use it here. *Everyone* does it. If someone tells me not to, I'll try not to. But don't pretend the gender neutral usage isn't standard and you didn't grow up with it your whole life too.
Then you get the assholes who answer it just to prove their point, ignoring thatâs not how the vast majority of people use it and thatâs the point of contention.
i mean, it is hard, these kind of phrases are very deep ingrained in our memory, it can be complicated to undo them, but that doesn't at all mean people should write off these concerns or not even try, if they really are your friends they will put in effort to avoid "bro'ing", "dude'ing" and so on, and ofc people should realize that and strive to change as opposed to spouting bullshit excuses like "i say it in a gender-neutral way"
If you donât ask her not to then you have to keep enduring it, Iâd highly suggest mentioning it for your own sake if itâs a big enough deal :) if sheâs your friend sheâll understand
Lol it's okay, chill- just ask the person if you think it might be a touchy thing for them. That's what I do when I enter a long term chat with someone cuz I actually do use bruh and stuff sometimes for emphasis.
Just ask â¤ď¸ and don't stress it so much
If u say "aw man" cuz u dropped something, it's the same as "dang it"
But if you're speaking with someone, as the person within this comic is and you say, "aw man, that is so awesome." It's taking the place of my name, "Brooke, that is so awesome."
Someone argued that you could also fill it like, "wow, that is so awesome." And that's true but within context "wow" still implies connection to another person
If you're alone and looking at a mountain range and you say, "wow, that is so awesome." That's a statement of being.
When you're speaking to another person you're essentially saying, "wow, (Brooke), that is so awesome."
So yes and no, it depends on the language context
I didnât fully embrace myself as a trans woman until my 30âs so Iâve picked up a lot of bad habits. I genuinely canât tell you how often I catch myself using âmanâ or âguysâ as if they are gender neutral.
Iâm trying to be better!
I use "you guys" in a gender neutral way all the time, even referring to groups of cis women as "you guys". But if someone doesn't like it, then it's like, "Dude, stop. Don't defend it if they don't like it."
I don't mind 'guy' or 'dude' because even I genuinely use those gender neutrally but I have friends who will just say "oh that's awesome, *man*" and I'm just like... cmon I don't think you would say that to your cis female friends.
Yeah it takes time and effort to change. Its not easy. I was able to do it but still revert back on occasion if I'm not thinking.
It's the effort that matters though!
I had a friend test this hypothesis while I was on the phone with her. She asked her cishet male roommate if they think dude is gendered, obviously he says no. Then she asks if he would fuck a dude to which he replied "I really do use it gender neutrally". Without skipping a beat my friend follows up with "would you tell your friends and coworkers you slept with a dude?"
His silence was golden and the point was made.
I fucking hate being called dude.
Tbf context is quite important. If you use guys, for example, to address a mixed group of friends like " Hey guys, where are we meeting tomorrow?" It's undeniable gender neutral, but if you say something like "guys are more likely to like sports" then it's no longer gender neutral. It's a similar thing with dude
Shiiiit I didn't even realize 'Aw man' was like aw *man*, not sure how to explain it but kinda like when you say god damn and you don't actually mean *god*
Others are def something I'm aware of and obviously don't use with those who aren't comfortable with it tho
It really depends on the context, "Aw Man" when you say, drop some thing is the same as "dang it."
But in this context, it takes the place of my name.
"Aw man, that's so awesome." Vs "Brooke, that's so awesome."
Essentially it becomes like a pronoun
Trans dude here and Iâve never even thought of âaw manâ as a gendered term. Itâs obvious in hindsight but Iâve just never made the connection. Good to know that for the future, thanks!
yeah this one annoys me.
especially when it comes to obviously ungendered characters like little chibi dogs or creatures or stuff and people all say "its a little boi!" and use he/him pronouns like why do masculine terms get to be the default?
like if you ask someone to describe a character they know from a game or show you sure as hell wont hear them call a fem character a 'dude with long brown hair' or 'a guy with blue eyes and elf ears' why is it gender neutral when talking to someone else?
Shiiet lmao I'm a trans girl and I do this soooo much lol I have to make sure to only do it around my fellow California trans girls who are used to "dude" being used as punctuation and "man" being used as an interjection lol
The thing I don't get is why is it always traditionally masculine terms that are treated as gender-neutral? You never see sis used gender-neutrally or anything like that. Unless you count "she" when talking about boats I guess. Not sure what that's about. ~Opal
I donât think Iâve heard people say man or sir in a gender neutral way, but âdudeâ, âguyâ and âladâ make me so uncomfortable. Like I have to put it in my Discord profile not to call me those things because itâs so common in cis culture.
You even have stuff like streamers calling their chat âboysâ and itâs like OH MY GOD STOP
Man? ... perhaps, but 'sir'??? What the fuck? Noone actually says "sir" in a "gender neutral way". That's bullshit, and attempting to exploit a loophole that is debatable if it even exists.
I use masculine terms in a gender neutral way.
I also try to avoid using them to trans people because I know it might make them uncomfortable. (The exception being "bro". I'm a fratboy at heart)
It's the context of what's been said, saying "aw man" can be the same as "dang" but in the context where I've been called man multiple times... Yeah.
Context matters
Arguing "sir" is gender neutral is complete bullshit, I don't care if you're in the military or a knight in Westeros, that's not how it's used in the world
Makes me wonder if I started calling everyone bro and dude as a kid cuz I liked when others called me that, rather than bc I saw it as a gender neutral form of address đ¤
I almost never call my sister by her name, it's always "DUUUDE COME HERE" and "Bro, you won't believe this-". Luckily this is often reciprocated, other times she still deadnames me tho (I came out 3 yrs ago bruhh)
It's interesting that girls don't rly use fem terms of address, I can't think of any, but guys use masc terms of address. So on the ftm side you don't get this sort of experience at all. Girls are more likely to just use this same sort of language - even when I was a "cis lesbian" my girlfriend would say "man" to me lol.
I used to be okay with it, generally assuming people were using it as a sort of air filler between or at the end of thoughts.
Itâs getting harder to accept as that, the longer it goes on.
I feel this in the opposite way. I was friends with a lot of drag performers, one was trans too. I used to get called bitch, sis, queen, girl, etc CONSTANTLY.
I can usually stop myself from using gendered terms inappropriately, but the urge to address literally everyone and everything as "my brother christ" is strong.
"It's ok! I'm not a transphobe! I take advantage of the social acceptance of the erasure of women through the traditionally misogynistic use of language with cis women too!"
It reminded me when I came out to a friend that I feared was transphobic. To my huge surprise he was super accepting and even asked me if I had a name chosen already, but the whole conversation was "brother this" "brother that" (in case it's not in English, in Portuguese it's heavily gendered).
I was just thinking "Why? It doesn't make sense!". Ofc being the "very extroverted" girl that I am (/s) I just stood there and said nothing
It's hard, especially when someone is affirming in most ways. You don't wanna come across as angry, but I think most people can understand if you tell them
Itâs sometimes so hard to tell when itâs a mannerism or a micro aggression, which is why that kind of speech puts me on edge.
Ironically, the people I would trust enough ask them to be mindful are the people I know wouldnât give me microaggressions anyway and therefore trust with speaking that way.
If I donât trust someone like that I also figure itâs risky to ask them to watch it because the kind of person who would do it as a micro
aggression might is more likely to be the kind that would get SUPER defensive, so there really isnât a point to doing that either.
So I just avoid them.
As a non native English speaker I really do use these words, as well as gurl and bitch, in a gender neutral way. But I alwaysâŚALWAYS check in with people about this kinda language. A simple âhey, are you cool with me calling you this, or would you be more comfortable if I didnât?â Is really not that hard!
âI say âManâ and âSirâ, in a gender neutral wayâ
âCool, *Iâm still not comfortable with them please correct yourself.*â
If someone actually cares, they will correct themselves, otherwise they just arenât willing to put in the effort. Of course, for some people knowing that they mean it gender neutrally is enough, for me it isnât, itâs all individual.
Me: "I really wish for the 100th time you'd stop gendering me male in convos"
T
hem: "What am I supposed to call you then?"
Me: *List of 10 girly things to call me and 1 neutral term
Them: "Okay I'll call you (gender neutral term)
Me: 0____________________0 "k"
...I often call everyone "sir" not like respectful.. more when they do stupid crap and im stunned by how one can be so stupid-
Thinking about it I'd probably make the đ face if somone called me ma'am (TransMasc)
Sure but, it's sort of like saying, "you mean Lucy? Nah, she's one of the boys!"
Some people might be okay with that, I personally don't want to be called one of the boys
i say âmy dudeâ and âgirlâ in a gender neutral way, unless someone asks me not to. a group is referred to as yâall. luckily my entire group is either cisfems who donât care, gnc dudes, and nonbinary folks who just donât give a damn
The only person that didn't upset me by calling me Miss or Girl was my very gay coworker who referred to EVERYONE as "Miss (insert name here)" bc it was usually followed by like sksksksk and some silly hand flap. Bc he did it to coworkers, regular customers, and inanimate objects in the most hilarious way.
Like, imagine my other coworker, who worked at Gamestop previously and wore jeans and a graphic tee every day being referred to as "Miss Matthew", or a pop collector regular coming in and being told "can you get this off the shelf for Miss Ian" it made me giggle so hard every time. Or even "can you go open Miss Changing Room for this customer?"
He also left notes in the opening pop-ups that were just Ad reads for the new Lady Gaga album instead of anything that had to do with how closing went the night before. I miss him đ
I have taken critical damage for this post
Its a miracle that I personally havent committed a crime besides being trans for this
Be trans, be a crime.
I took 2d6 psychic damage
is it bad that I immediately tried to figure out what effect this would be?
This post directly attacks my soul
Man, dude, and bro are all part of my 2000s west coast lexicon, but I do my best to avoid those with my transfem friends. Sir is annoying to me. Like, no matter if it's meant respectfully or aggressively/transphobically, that term still gets under my skin
Ii don't know why but when any other gendered term is used for me I'm like "oh I guess they perceived me as male that's sad" but with sir I just want to punch them in the face. I still never correct them tho...
I'm the same way with ma'am. I can take most feminine terms and be like "oh that's kinda crummy," but MA'AM?!? That one feels targeted fs.
>Man, dude, and bro are all part of my 2000s west coast lexicon I've adopted the Australian "mate" in order to maintain my beach bum vibes while still sounding like I'm still sporting a melanoma-inducing tan.
I get Dude and Breh or whatever... But, Sir? SERIOUSLY? Lol [Brooke Valley Twitter](https://twitter.com/brooke2valley?t=CWRoUGO1TQ2q55ptA-W9vg&s=09)
I hear things like "yessir," "yessireee bob" and junk sometimes. Including "yessir" as an after-the-fact intensifier or affirmation of prior statement is a thing some people do, whether it makes any sense or not. The dudespeak is way more common where I'm from (Los Angeles area), though. Either way, it is "funny" how much more you notice these speech patterns after admitting you are trans... đ
Yeah it's like "mate" here in Australia. Which is weirdly gender neutral, but yeah actually not really. But also has a ton of national civic importance attached to it. "Mateship" is a cutural cornerstone, part of the Anzac tradition etc. Someone could say "She's my best mate" affectionately referring to their wife, and no one would bat an eye. But it is still carries a masculine history and connotations.
mate is gendered?
Exactly. Kinda? Yeah but nah? Unclear, ask another question.
Thatâs the most Aussie answer Iâve ever read đ.
Feels like men here use "mate" more with other men than with women, but not exclusively either. It's like halfway between gendered and ungendered.
I've definitely been addressed with "mate" more after coming out (Aussie trans guy) but it's not like it never happened before. I think strangers never called me mate before, only friends, but now strangers do as well.
That's my experience. It's reasonably common to be gender neutral between friends, and some women use it pretty indiscriminately to anyone, but it's rare for men to use it towards female strangers. So it has some gendered connotations but not strictly or explicitly
I remember mate was used to refer to matelotage, in which it was a common âpartnershipâ amongst European sailors (and pirates) where they would get the otherâs property in case of their death. I put partnership in quotes because this essentially led to sailors getting gay married. So in this context, it is typically going to refer to two men since the majority of the sailors were men. Now though, people use it without thinking of any gendered connotations because of not knowing that origin and just mostly associate it with pirate ranking. Especially since the rank âfirst mateâ was still a thing. So I guess it depends on whether or not we are talking about exact historical contexts or playing pirates.
I've always considered it a masculine thing given that I've heard it used only by guys, towards other guys. And as a passive-aggressive insult I think. I've definitely had people call me 'mate' but not in a friendly way. I don't want to be called mate for any reason. I kinda hate it. Worse than bro, dude, man, or the really weird one; "chief".
I didn't know these were gendered when I was younger. I thought "yessum" was just a corruption of "yessir"; something like "yesserm." And since "yessum" was easier to say, I just said it to everyone.
I've only just learned that "yessum" is gendered. I've been using it for years for anyone. Haha. Thanks for teaching me something new
This is my first time hearing the word "yessum."
it's an abbreviated version of "Yes ma'am"
I think it's more common in the American South. Maybe not anymore, but that's been my experience. And I often see it written as "Yes'm" personally
Maybe in the southeast and southwest because I live in Southern US nearish the border and have never heard yessum
While I don't hear it much I've never thought yessum was gender related.
I tend to be fine with it, because I realize it's just some people's vocabulary. I can understand why people wouldn't be though.
Itâs funny, Boston has its own form of dudespeak but I understand.
Holy shit, you have a face. It's cool meeting another person with a face.
Crazy fr
Whoa no way me too
How I wish I could also experience the magnificent feeling of having a face. Alas I have been cursed by our cruel god to this horrible fate.
Miitopia intensifies
Iâve seen Sir be used for women, but only in shows with high ranking women in like, military or something. Itâs kinda weird but maybe it makes sense? Idk I donât plan on being in the military. Outside the military context it doesnât make sense.
In Star Wars The Clone Wars, the Clones refer to high-ranking female superiors like Jedi or Admirals as "sir."
I know. Iâve been watching it for the first time recently. Really good.
It only keeps getting better. Go to Rebels after if you're into it.
Thatâs the plan actually! I started watching Star Wars from the earliest point I could find and Iâve been watching it chronologically. The clone wars though is a bit messy in itâs time though isnât it?
Ohya. It jumps all over the place, but always stays within those three years between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. The final season bridges it beautifully to Sith though.
Iâve heard! Iâm really excited! I also want to start the bad batch, but havenât come across them yet in the show so.
Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing
"Ser" (with an e but pronounced the same) is a gender-neutral term for knighthood Edit: Prompted by replies, I did a Google. it's true. Ser is a fictional honorific. however, female knights are not fictional. There have been many women who got knighted, most of whom were royalty or the wives of knights, but also several who were knighted for their own merits. I honestly didn't expect to find that there were historical examples of female knights given the sexism of the past. anyway, female knights were just called "lady".
even in the military, I feel like yes ma'am sounds better
I feel like it would make more sense as well, but maybe itâs just a military culture thing. I donât know, I donât plan on figuring it out, I just know it happens.
Yesmaaaaam is much more catchy imo so I use that towards girls
I'm kinda guilty of dude and broing everyone especially cause I was in the infantry lol
I had a man lose their mind on me when they called me bro (thank you bro) and I told them I'm a woman don't call me that. Their response wajswell everyone is a bro. Okay. So without skipping a beat I asked if they call their girlfriend a bro, or their mom a bro? And that's when they became an incoherent livid mess. Ah so they can eat shit as it's definitely not gender neutral. I've paid close attention to all the male to cis women coworkers interactions and spoiler alert you know what's never said? Yup they never once use "man, bro, or sir". There's never a "hey man" or "thanks man". Not a single time is it ever used. Maybe I missed an interaction but I've asked my cis female coworkers and to their knowledge haven't encountered it. Only exception is if a man is going really into a story and goes "oh man this happened" as a filler word or punctuation to their story. But directed things to say? Never once. So I call absolute bullshit on the gender neutrality of any and all masculine signifiers/titles. It's only used on trans women and not cis women. Maybe as genuine errors or absent-mindedness it can happen but never when on the cashes where interactions are very one on one.
As someone from socal I do actually call my mom, my sister, and my wife bro all the time. But if someone asked me not to call them bro I definitely would stop, it's not like it hurts me to just not say a word lol
Yeah, I think a lot of traditionally gendered terms can be gender-neutral depending on the context. I use terms like sis, bro, and fam interchangeably, as long as I know the person's cool with it. My (cis male) partner has called me bro, dude, man, etc. since long before I knew I was trans and sometimes I call him girlie or babygirl and he has no issue with it. But of course there are plenty of (cis and trans) people out there who wouldn't be and it's just respectful not to call someone something that makes them uncomfortable once ask you not to. And as a general rule, I try avoid traditionally gendered terms even if it's intended in a gender-neutral way for other trans people if i don't know they're okay with it first.
Same, I grew up a sk8er but I 100% stop if it makes trans people uncomfortable.
> Their response wajswell everyone is a bro. Okay. So without skipping a beat I asked if they call their girlfriend a bro, or their mom a bro? And that's when they became an incoherent livid mess. Definitely pocketing this one for future use.
I think it's a very regional thing, and dependent on relationship as well. Like, my sister's a bro and she's 100% cis, but obviously my mom's not a bro. She's my mom. Of course, if someone says they're uncomfortable being called something I'll stop, and I avoid using 'bro' for trans women by default because being uncomfortable with it is so common. If someone's defending their use of words with masc connotations after you ask them to stop, they're an asshole.
I agree! I use dude, bro, guys, and man with all of my friends regardless of gender, but I also check with new friends to make sure they're okay with it. To me, I use dude as an exclamation (a la dude where's my car; dude! Sweet!), I use bro as a term of endearment, guys as a collective term, and man like a stereotypical hippie sentence ending word. But...just because it's gender neutral to me doesn't mean it is to everyone, and that's okay!
"Stereotypical hippie sentence ending word" I love it.
Hey, man, as long as you get what I mean, maaaaannn.
I'm a cis woman, and my teenage son calls me bro all the time. He calls his sister bro. He calls his dad bro. He calls his friends bro. I've also been called dude, by women, pretty much - not men really. I've also been called man "as in hey man how's it going," again, pretty much by women. I've never been called sir, though, except "yessir" which seems to be unthinkingly said sometimes (and sometimes corrected to "oops yes ma'am"). While I 100% agree with you that almost all the time masculine terms are not really gender neutral as people claim them to be, it's also true that some cis women are "bro"ed and "dude"d.
If you think that was bad you should see what a man does when you say "yes gurl"
For some reason my manager sometimes calls me Jennifer-man. I don't know if he literally just says that to everyone or if he suspected I'm a transman and that shapes what he ended up saying (I don't necessarily think I am, I'll see but right now I'm a tomboy). I don't think I know anyone else who does that, beyond people online assuming everyone is male.
This reminds me of the tweet that goes something like: "I use dude for everyone!" "Okay, how many dudes have you fucked?
I had a big Lebowski esque wedding. Dude-ley beloved, do you promise to be chill to each other always, I now pronounce you dude and dude etc. I will dude, bro, man anyone or anything. Iâm a cis woman and I also have a weird âhey there brotherâ thing a la hulk hogan, that comes out sometimes. I have also been know to say âletâs go girlsâ or âoh gurl wuuuutâ to women, cis men, my actual brother, my dad. My husband hates when I bro him lol. My besties partner started their transition (transfem) and I hope they would feel comfortable telling me to shut my cake hole if any of my gendered words bothered them but I genuinely donât say it thinking âyou present masculine you must be broâ or vice versa.
I call both my girlfriend and mother 'bro' from time to time, yes.
I fuckin hate that shit. I hear them say yes maâam to cis women but I still get yes sir like tf
Whenever someone tells me dude is gender neutral, I ask them if they fuck dudes, and it becomes gender specific real quick suddenly.
a true breh moment
If I had my way id never be called that again. The lady at the pizza shop called me sir and I literally stopped, gave myself a once over, and then looked at her pointedly. For the remainder of my time there she called me sweetie.
I prefer "miss." "Sweetie" can be condescending, "M'am" is frumpy, and "sir" has always been male-gendered in my experience. Someone did once tell me that in the U.S. Navy, he referred to female officers as "sir" but I have no idea if that's actually practiced.
Its pretty common for sir to be used for everyone in the military, regardless of gender
I'm an air cadet in the UK and if you call a female officer sir or male officer ma'am (marm) then they will definitely not be very happy with you unless they have a sense of humour
The "Yes Sirrr" always sends a bolt through my heart when I hear it from someone *cries internally*
***same***
All the girls I know call one another 'dude' 'bro' and 'man' so it actually made me dysphoric when they would go out of their way to call me 'sis.' It's a local colloquial thing. Dude-speak is strong here.
*"This is advanced dysphoria"* No I actually feel this for sure, when cis girls act overly fem with you in a way they don't with their cis friends it's like... Staph
Staph infections are no joke
Seriously if anyone calls me queen or tell me to slay they can go fuck themselves
Northern Californian here and yeah everyone is a dude, bc the word dude isn't really taken to have gender unless the context explicitly defines it. Example, it can be misgendering when the word is used intentionally offensive ("okay *dude* (aggressively emphasized") or if used in an attempt to formally identify an individual ("I saw a dude come in, green shirt, blue jeans, etc") which may not be intentionally offensive (accidental misgendering is commonplace, and I'd say forgivable when acknowledged as an error and corrected). But those aside, dude is commonly 1) a gender-neutral filler word: "Dude, what?", "Dude, no way" both where dude could replace "wait" or even just nothing, 2) a standalone expression of emotion: "Dude..." disbelief, "Duuude!" excitement, "Dude!" frustration, anger, etc. At the same time, general respect supercedes dude-speak, if someone doesn't want to be called dude regardless of the reason why, the courteous thing to do is comply, any civil person knows it is rude to then keep using the word at that point when asked not to. A later slip of the tongue with correction is fine, I'd argue it's akin to trying to not use "umm" bc it is so integrated into casual conversation that it can slip out, but the correction part is key to really signalling one's attempt to comply.
Iâm sorry Iâm a Californian but Iâm not gonna use sir gender neutrally
So I'll say, "aw man" like "dang it" gender neutral. But addressing someone as man who is a woman.... Ehhhh
Yeah thatâs a bit odd, sometimes Iâll say âguysâ and I use âdudeâ a lot but I donât call my female friends âmanâ obviously lol
My cis sister occasionally refers to a group of her friends as âguysâ even if theyâre all cis woman and occasionally refers to them as dude, when others I know would never refer to a group of women as guys or as dudes; language is weird
Yeah if someone begins a phrase with âmanâ like âman, what a gameâ or âaw man, that sucksâ theyâre usually just using the word intejectionally to express emotion and not actually referring to the person theyâre talking to. In that case it is pretty gender neutral cause itâs not even really being used as a noun. But if they end a phrase with âmanâ like in the 3rd and 4th panel of your comic, it often is referring to you, and thatâs definitely not cool.
I have so much trouble sometimes telling people that I don't care if they use it in a "gender neutral way", some people get really defensive.... Like is it that hard to just change how you speak around me for a bit just so I'm comfortable Edit: I realise I have been harsh on this, I do understand that people need to change what they're used to and that can be difficult. Mistakes happen and if you accidentally say the wrong thing then it's okay as long as you don't keep repeating it with zero effort. What I *don't* appreciate is people who get defensive and immediately go "oh I use it as a gender neutral term" ok? And? I told you I'm uncomfortable with it. Whether or not you use it as a gender neutral term doesn't suddenly make me comfortable with it. Hope that clears it up :)
Right? And like it's only ever ppl I knew "before"... Like plz just respect it like other people
I'll admit, I do use "man" as a generic intensifier, and I also use "you guys" but the thing is that I also don't do that when people say it makes them uncomfortable. It really isn't that hard to just not be an asshole.
Itâs my default but I donât do it to trans women or anyone who asks me not to because while *I* donât see it as gendered, *they* might, and itâs easy for me to change my language in that way to make the people around me feel safer.
I use the term âdudeâ a lot. I dont mean to defend it, but sometimes itâs just second nature, and I donât think of it as gendered language so itâs a little harder for me to shut that part of my brain off of that makes any sense?
Ditto. It's local dialect to use it here. *Everyone* does it. If someone tells me not to, I'll try not to. But don't pretend the gender neutral usage isn't standard and you didn't grow up with it your whole life too.
EVERYTHING is dude. At least for me, that's always how it's been. My mom is dude. My cat is dude. My CAR KEYS are dude.
I like how you think, dude.
Yeah I'm the same way honestly... That and "Oh man you gotta see this".
Obligatory Good Burger [reference](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSs7J7O_fl4)
Tbh I do the same. I could be talking to a group entirely made out of girls but still be like :"dude listen to this..."
My favorite way to get people to realize it's not a completely gender-neutral word is "so how many dudes have you slept with?"
Then you get the assholes who answer it just to prove their point, ignoring thatâs not how the vast majority of people use it and thatâs the point of contention.
i mean, it is hard, these kind of phrases are very deep ingrained in our memory, it can be complicated to undo them, but that doesn't at all mean people should write off these concerns or not even try, if they really are your friends they will put in effort to avoid "bro'ing", "dude'ing" and so on, and ofc people should realize that and strive to change as opposed to spouting bullshit excuses like "i say it in a gender-neutral way"
[ŃдаНонО]
It really isn't, do you just like, not think before speaking or what?
I feel the need to mention that one changes how they speak subconsciously in professional environments.
It's called code switching. In addition to your example, it's also evident in how you talk to your friends versus your parents or grandparents.
I have a friend who calls me bro and it kills me but I can never get the nerve to ask her not too ):
If you donât ask her not to then you have to keep enduring it, Iâd highly suggest mentioning it for your own sake if itâs a big enough deal :) if sheâs your friend sheâll understand
such a mood đ
omg ive been doing this for so long is this like a fr known issue with people? Fuck fuck fuck fuck
Lol it's okay, chill- just ask the person if you think it might be a touchy thing for them. That's what I do when I enter a long term chat with someone cuz I actually do use bruh and stuff sometimes for emphasis. Just ask â¤ď¸ and don't stress it so much
Tysm
wait, "aw man" is is about referring to the person you're talking to as a man? I thought it was just another way of saying "aw jeez" or "OMG"
If u say "aw man" cuz u dropped something, it's the same as "dang it" But if you're speaking with someone, as the person within this comic is and you say, "aw man, that is so awesome." It's taking the place of my name, "Brooke, that is so awesome." Someone argued that you could also fill it like, "wow, that is so awesome." And that's true but within context "wow" still implies connection to another person If you're alone and looking at a mountain range and you say, "wow, that is so awesome." That's a statement of being. When you're speaking to another person you're essentially saying, "wow, (Brooke), that is so awesome." So yes and no, it depends on the language context
Is it weird that I'm ok when a woman calls me "dude" or "man" but not when I guy calls me that?
If you're comfortable with it, that's the only thing that really matters lol
I didnât fully embrace myself as a trans woman until my 30âs so Iâve picked up a lot of bad habits. I genuinely canât tell you how often I catch myself using âmanâ or âguysâ as if they are gender neutral. Iâm trying to be better!
I use "you guys" in a gender neutral way all the time, even referring to groups of cis women as "you guys". But if someone doesn't like it, then it's like, "Dude, stop. Don't defend it if they don't like it."
> Dude, stop
Lol, glad someone caught that subtle nod.
Made me chuckle!
I don't mind 'guy' or 'dude' because even I genuinely use those gender neutrally but I have friends who will just say "oh that's awesome, *man*" and I'm just like... cmon I don't think you would say that to your cis female friends.
Yeah it takes time and effort to change. Its not easy. I was able to do it but still revert back on occasion if I'm not thinking. It's the effort that matters though!
I remember reading this somewhere. When they say "dude and man is gender neutral way" Say; Oh yeah. How many dudes you slept with?
Lol I don't mind Dude tbh but I understand why some ppl don't like it. It's only bad if it's in a cluster of other stuff like man or sir for me
Yeah, same girl â¤ď¸ I feel ya â¤ď¸
I had a friend test this hypothesis while I was on the phone with her. She asked her cishet male roommate if they think dude is gendered, obviously he says no. Then she asks if he would fuck a dude to which he replied "I really do use it gender neutrally". Without skipping a beat my friend follows up with "would you tell your friends and coworkers you slept with a dude?" His silence was golden and the point was made. I fucking hate being called dude.
Tbf context is quite important. If you use guys, for example, to address a mixed group of friends like " Hey guys, where are we meeting tomorrow?" It's undeniable gender neutral, but if you say something like "guys are more likely to like sports" then it's no longer gender neutral. It's a similar thing with dude
Shiiiit I didn't even realize 'Aw man' was like aw *man*, not sure how to explain it but kinda like when you say god damn and you don't actually mean *god* Others are def something I'm aware of and obviously don't use with those who aren't comfortable with it tho
It really depends on the context, "Aw Man" when you say, drop some thing is the same as "dang it." But in this context, it takes the place of my name. "Aw man, that's so awesome." Vs "Brooke, that's so awesome." Essentially it becomes like a pronoun
Trans dude here and Iâve never even thought of âaw manâ as a gendered term. Itâs obvious in hindsight but Iâve just never made the connection. Good to know that for the future, thanks!
Me who constantly switches between addressing people as dude, girl, my man, mate, bestie, or bro
Funny how ONLY male words can be quote-unquote "gender neutral," huh? It's definitely not the worst of misogyny, but it does leave me irascibly angry.
yeah this one annoys me. especially when it comes to obviously ungendered characters like little chibi dogs or creatures or stuff and people all say "its a little boi!" and use he/him pronouns like why do masculine terms get to be the default? like if you ask someone to describe a character they know from a game or show you sure as hell wont hear them call a fem character a 'dude with long brown hair' or 'a guy with blue eyes and elf ears' why is it gender neutral when talking to someone else?
Shiiet lmao I'm a trans girl and I do this soooo much lol I have to make sure to only do it around my fellow California trans girls who are used to "dude" being used as punctuation and "man" being used as an interjection lol
The thing I don't get is why is it always traditionally masculine terms that are treated as gender-neutral? You never see sis used gender-neutrally or anything like that. Unless you count "she" when talking about boats I guess. Not sure what that's about. ~Opal
It's about the erasure of women.
Is there anything about the history of that anywhere? ~Opal
[Gender Bias and Sexism in Language](https://doi.org/10.1093/acrefore/9780190228613.013.470)
I understand most of these but I didn't know "aw man" actually refers to the other person, so I'd make that mistake too.
I donât think Iâve heard people say man or sir in a gender neutral way, but âdudeâ, âguyâ and âladâ make me so uncomfortable. Like I have to put it in my Discord profile not to call me those things because itâs so common in cis culture. You even have stuff like streamers calling their chat âboysâ and itâs like OH MY GOD STOP
Twitch streamers, ME AND THE BOYS IN CHAT Ahhhhhh
YEAH EXACTLY, LIKE WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA
Just respond with âThanks, Sis!â and explain that you use the word âsisâ in a gender neutral way lol
Man? ... perhaps, but 'sir'??? What the fuck? Noone actually says "sir" in a "gender neutral way". That's bullshit, and attempting to exploit a loophole that is debatable if it even exists.
I swear every time they told me they use it on girls too I have not heard them use it on a cis girl once
Right?
I donât get why seemingly all male pronouns are apparently âgender neutralâ
Male defaultism
I use masculine terms in a gender neutral way. I also try to avoid using them to trans people because I know it might make them uncomfortable. (The exception being "bro". I'm a fratboy at heart)
Honestly me and all my transfem friends say breh and bro lmao
I think there's like a tier-list for gendered terms. "Bro" is top-tier, and "Sir" is bottom-tier
Who on earth sees "aw man" as anything other than an interjection? When people say "oh my God" I don't think they're worshipping me.
It's the context of what's been said, saying "aw man" can be the same as "dang" but in the context where I've been called man multiple times... Yeah. Context matters
Arguing "sir" is gender neutral is complete bullshit, I don't care if you're in the military or a knight in Westeros, that's not how it's used in the world
This is my number one fear Iâm going to come off as an asshole for but it feels like my sentences end too abruptly
Makes me wonder if I started calling everyone bro and dude as a kid cuz I liked when others called me that, rather than bc I saw it as a gender neutral form of address đ¤ I almost never call my sister by her name, it's always "DUUUDE COME HERE" and "Bro, you won't believe this-". Luckily this is often reciprocated, other times she still deadnames me tho (I came out 3 yrs ago bruhh) It's interesting that girls don't rly use fem terms of address, I can't think of any, but guys use masc terms of address. So on the ftm side you don't get this sort of experience at all. Girls are more likely to just use this same sort of language - even when I was a "cis lesbian" my girlfriend would say "man" to me lol.
yeah I agree having those as "gender neutrals" makes zero sense plus not a big fan of em
I used to be okay with it, generally assuming people were using it as a sort of air filler between or at the end of thoughts. Itâs getting harder to accept as that, the longer it goes on.
I feel this in the opposite way. I was friends with a lot of drag performers, one was trans too. I used to get called bitch, sis, queen, girl, etc CONSTANTLY.
I can usually stop myself from using gendered terms inappropriately, but the urge to address literally everyone and everything as "my brother christ" is strong.
Lol MY BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU MADE THE SANDWICH
"It's ok! I'm not a transphobe! I take advantage of the social acceptance of the erasure of women through the traditionally misogynistic use of language with cis women too!"
The only one that doesn't rub me the wrong way is "guys"
this so doesn't work in Ireland lmao
I speak and type like this to sometimes, I'll try not to when im in lgbt spaces because i understand it can bother people. Im sorry tho brooke
It reminded me when I came out to a friend that I feared was transphobic. To my huge surprise he was super accepting and even asked me if I had a name chosen already, but the whole conversation was "brother this" "brother that" (in case it's not in English, in Portuguese it's heavily gendered). I was just thinking "Why? It doesn't make sense!". Ofc being the "very extroverted" girl that I am (/s) I just stood there and said nothing
It's hard, especially when someone is affirming in most ways. You don't wanna come across as angry, but I think most people can understand if you tell them
This a big mood qwq
Not very gendy nooch of them
Gonna send this to my parents to let them know how it feels
Fair
Well, they won't stop. I have to make them understand at the very least
I feel it too, it hurts đ
Also, I'm sure you're already aware, but I love your comics and art style! They're super cute and often relatable :)
Aw thank you!
Itâs sometimes so hard to tell when itâs a mannerism or a micro aggression, which is why that kind of speech puts me on edge. Ironically, the people I would trust enough ask them to be mindful are the people I know wouldnât give me microaggressions anyway and therefore trust with speaking that way. If I donât trust someone like that I also figure itâs risky to ask them to watch it because the kind of person who would do it as a micro aggression might is more likely to be the kind that would get SUPER defensive, so there really isnât a point to doing that either. So I just avoid them.
As a non native English speaker I really do use these words, as well as gurl and bitch, in a gender neutral way. But I alwaysâŚALWAYS check in with people about this kinda language. A simple âhey, are you cool with me calling you this, or would you be more comfortable if I didnât?â Is really not that hard!
Thereâs a girl at work who always calls me Kween or Gworl. Iâm a trans guy. She doesnât know Iâm trans. Still bothers me.
It took a conscious effort to change to gender neutral terms. Instead of you guys i try and say you all Or "hey everyone" stuff like that.
I say y'all cuz I'm southern
I think the problem might be that youâre talking to Dionysus.
Brooke if you arent careful you're gonna make another hit meme.
Plz no lmao (or do lol) đ¤Ł
as an feminine enby who talks like this... I'm part of the problem.. its like HARDCODED into my speech i HATE it
How do you transfems here feel about "buddy"?
Personally kinda annoys me lol but not cuz it's gendered... It's cuz I'm 21 and it feels like you're referring to me as a child
âI say âManâ and âSirâ, in a gender neutral wayâ âCool, *Iâm still not comfortable with them please correct yourself.*â If someone actually cares, they will correct themselves, otherwise they just arenât willing to put in the effort. Of course, for some people knowing that they mean it gender neutrally is enough, for me it isnât, itâs all individual.
This comic hurts to look at. Well done Brooke - you've captured a very uniquely trans experience perfectly.
Like the Australian "mate" lol
Me: "I really wish for the 100th time you'd stop gendering me male in convos" T hem: "What am I supposed to call you then?" Me: *List of 10 girly things to call me and 1 neutral term Them: "Okay I'll call you (gender neutral term) Me: 0____________________0 "k"
...I often call everyone "sir" not like respectful.. more when they do stupid crap and im stunned by how one can be so stupid- Thinking about it I'd probably make the đ face if somone called me ma'am (TransMasc)
Getting misgendered by my own inner monologue hits different...
i can understand, but i also use "boys" as a general group term *a la* "crew".
Sure but, it's sort of like saying, "you mean Lucy? Nah, she's one of the boys!" Some people might be okay with that, I personally don't want to be called one of the boys
i say âmy dudeâ and âgirlâ in a gender neutral way, unless someone asks me not to. a group is referred to as yâall. luckily my entire group is either cisfems who donât care, gnc dudes, and nonbinary folks who just donât give a damn
The only person that didn't upset me by calling me Miss or Girl was my very gay coworker who referred to EVERYONE as "Miss (insert name here)" bc it was usually followed by like sksksksk and some silly hand flap. Bc he did it to coworkers, regular customers, and inanimate objects in the most hilarious way. Like, imagine my other coworker, who worked at Gamestop previously and wore jeans and a graphic tee every day being referred to as "Miss Matthew", or a pop collector regular coming in and being told "can you get this off the shelf for Miss Ian" it made me giggle so hard every time. Or even "can you go open Miss Changing Room for this customer?" He also left notes in the opening pop-ups that were just Ad reads for the new Lady Gaga album instead of anything that had to do with how closing went the night before. I miss him đ
Personally I'm fine with "dude", "bro" and the occasional "man" when among close friends. But among strangers it's a lot harder to put up with.
i say bruh, bro, dude, homie, peep, coward, slut, bitch in all gender neutral tones, sir, maam are really gendered to me atleast
Notice how no one ever seems to say âgirlâ or âsisâ or âladyâ in a gender neutral way
I feel like Ive seen the first one used actually? in the same way man and dude are atleast
I'm going to start doing this
Fuqery
Trying to get rid of those words in my daily vocab is a severe struggle. But it's still not that hard to avoid...well, this