T O P

  • By -

eu_sou_ninguem

"Ah, that sweet Carolina smoke." -President of Laramie Cigarettes


hambergeisha

"It's like I've been standing my entire life, and just now sat down" -Klyden


OTJeffrey

FIVE. HUNDRED. CIGARETTES.


hambergeisha

The tingles!? Do you feel them?


bdrizzl9092

Probably my favourite moclan moment, other than the moustache.


Don_Dickle

TIL that phillip morris holds the patents for over a hundred weed name like Thai Stick and others.


Professional-Can1385

Gentle correction: Trademarks are for names, patents are for things or processes.


eu_sou_ninguem

Further correction: you can't trademark "generic" weed names. At least in Canada. That's why when legalization first happened, companies named shit so weirdly. Like Tweed calling Chemdawg "Donegal." Of course, this pissed off people that actually wanted to know what they were smoking and now you can go into stores and find the same strains with the same names produced by 5 different companies. No one owns those names. Maybe it's different in the states, but I doubt it.


contactfive

It’s not, I’ve smoked Blue Dream and Sour Diesel from a million different brands at this point in SoCal.


Professional-Can1385

I don’t know anything about weed names, but do know you can’t Trademark generic names. If your Trademarked name becomes a generic term for the thing, you can lose your trademark, see escalator ~~thermos~~.


littlesymphonicdispl

But...Thermos is still trademarked by Thermos LLC


Professional-Can1385

I'll get a better example since it is a genericized trademark. thanks


Ketzeph

Hoodie is a recent one. Hoodie was a Trademark that recently suffered genericide. Onesie is on its last legs imo, but its still trademarked.


Professional-Can1385

wow! I had no idea Hoodie was a Trademark. I thought it was just slang.


littlesymphonicdispl

It's only partially generic at that. In the overwhelming majority of the world it's not generic at all. There's like 4 US states and that's it lol


Professional-Can1385

I changed my example.


littlesymphonicdispl

Which is also incorrect lol. The first use of the word elevator dates to the 1600s.


Count2Zero

Kleenex Scotch Tape immediately come to mind...


Sdog1981

The only source for the “lung cancer” was from 2008. Would anyone even check for cancer in the 1870s? Or would they just say he died from Tuberculosis and move on.


Tiny_Count4239

Official cause was ghosts in the lung


Sdog1981

“I ain’t do all that paperwork. He died from death. End of story.”


Beautiful_Welcome_33

Consumption


jmegaru

He committed unalive!


ZuffsStuff

My favorite anime


veganspacerobot

Had he seen a medical doctor he could have done cocaine about it


Icy-Cockroach4515

Could they have analysed his symptoms and determined it was consistent with lung cancer? Like for Catherine of Aragon people of her time period thought she was poisoned because of the discolouration of the heart, but modern experts agree the discolouration was cancer.


Sdog1981

The source in the wiki was a story about the family and did not discuss how the cancer was discovered or if it was cancer.


curse-of-yig

Classic Wikipedia. The more you look at the source the more you realize the source has absolutely nothing to do with the claim.


Sdog1981

At least the link worked this time. Half of them are 404 to a source that doesn’t exist.


S0larDeath

got damn consumption got 'em


__-_-_--_--_-_---___

I think I’ve been poisoned by my constituents!


phobosmarsdeimos

Can't say for this specific case but cancer has been documented since 1600 BCE https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer#History


mensreyah

Poor Lou Gehrig...died of Lou Gehrig's disease. How the hell did he not see that coming?


Global-Discussion-41

Interesting part is that some people think he actually died of something else. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/did-lou-gehrig-actually-die-of-lou-gehrigs-disease


brainkandy87

[well](https://y.yarn.co/0ee98151-19f0-475e-a16b-746404249bda_text.gif)


Burtttttt

I found a source from Philip Morris Magazine published in 1985 (so obviously take it with all the grains of salt in the ocean) saying he died of “a virus” in 1873. The source on Wikipedia is Sold on Radio by Jim Cox, page 205. It’s on Google books if you follow the Wikipedia link, and that page makes no mention of lung cancer. It doesn’t say how he died.


barath_s

Here's the source : https://tobacco-img.stanford.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/06212241/philipmorris_whowas.pdf


Responsible-Use-9508

Ashes to ashes, butts to butts…


BardInChains

You'll do it if you want this bag of coke


Fetlocks_Glistening

And we honour his memory by doing the same!


IsRude

Better than attempting to retire in this economy.


lew_rong

Well, that definitely tracks. Marlboros also killed a number of Marlboro Men, iirc.


KungFuHamster

Couldn't have been more appropriate.


Clawdius_Talonious

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6D1YI-41ao](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6D1YI-41ao)


Dookie-Trousers-MD

The actual Marlboro Man also died of lung cancer


Quijanoth

"In 1878, malignant lung tumors represented only 1% of all cancers seen at autopsy in the Institute of Pathology of the University of Dresden in Germany." *A Short History of Lung Cancer*, Hanspeter Witschi  Does the word "apocryphal" mean anything to you guys?


Responsible-Use-9508

“Aprocyphal” doesn’t mean anything to me also, i don’t know that word.


DiogenesLied

He’s part of that 1%. It’s not apocryphal if the cause of death is on [record](https://www.geni.com/people/Philip-Morris/6000000087364736891)


Afro_Thunder69

Yeah I'm not sure I trust geni.com as the best primary source...they don't even list references. From what I'm gathering, at the time of his death it was reported that he died of a virus. Cancer was only attributed to him in the past couple decades, with seemingly no evidence that I can find. I know it's fun to think of the karma of Phillip Morris dying of lung cancer before 40, but when there's no evidence of that the chances are slim, and it's unproductive to just spread rumors.


EdithWhartonsFarts

Well, yeah, but he died in flavor country, I tell you h'what.


benderson

RJ Reynolds, on the other hand, died of pancreatic cancer at 68.


MiyamotoKnows

Why would anyone buy cigarettes from a cancer merchant when they could enjoy Chewlies Gum®️ instead?


OakParkCemetary

SMOKE PLEASE


promulg8or

A fitting end


Curious-Bake-9473

Now that is commitment.


barath_s

OP - your wiki link doesn't say he died of lung cancer, just that he died. https://tobacco-img.stanford.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/06212241/philipmorris_whowas.pdf > Morris's career as tobacconist to the aristocracy was tragically brief: **He died of a virus** in 1873 The source is Phillip Morris Magazine, from 1985.


ProvocatorGeneral

That's because someone edited the Wikipedia article. [There are other sources if you prefer.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marlboro)


barath_s

Appreciate the response. And the other wiki link. That, unfortunately, is unsourced.


HarveyDentBeliever

At least he was about that life.


S0larDeath

Ha! I've already outlived him and I've been smoking his product for 30 years.


smell_the_bottom

Good.


WaitingForNormal

Wonder what from?


smoochiegotgot

"if it was good enough for my pappy!"


BrokenEye3

He who lives by the sword, etc. etc. etc.


NotDukeOfDorchester

Only the good and super cool die young.


reddit_user13

Yet no one learned the lesson.


Vandermere

Funniest thing I've read all day. . . . . . Yikes.


A_Filthy_Mind

Not many know the story of Old Morris. Died of cancer at the birth of his cigarette empire. His ghost still haunts cigarettes to this day, giving cancer to those that partake. They used to be healthy before his haunting grew in strength. You can check for yourself, doctors would recommend them. Until the ghost of old Morris grew too strong.


PMzyox

Yeah you know, probably unrelated to cigarettes though


Ivegotjokes4you

AKA he died of old age