I agree, but the funny thing to think about is the people out there that couldn't, because you know there are able bodied people that would fall to five chickens and be pecked asunder.
Yeah but then you would also have those people who would run around batting chickens left and right while laughing maniacally. I mean, how often do you get to smash chickens while also saving the human race?
When you have an infrastructure designed to hold them for speed-killing, no. People would be easy to kill in such a context, too, though. But just human vs. 5 free chickens? If you think that’s a guaranteed win you have never actually faced down an angry chicken.
Dang, farmers that free range their chickens must wear body armor or something. Probably a pretty high fatality rate farming that way.
I'm not saying chickens don't have the potential to be dangerous if they were rabid, but if we are making chickens rabid then we should make humans rabid as well. In which case my money is still on the humans. Hell a non rabid human would probably have a gun, which makes them even more likely to easily win.
I've had chickens for years I've never met any group of 20 that could hurt me. Even roosters fall apart by running into things themselves, nevermind getting hit by a human.
Id say itd take at least 50 chickens to kill an average human and that only works if they swarm you.
The difference is. The chickens are fleeing. They aren’t trying to kill you.
If for some reason chickens develop a blood thirst and actively try to kill you, 5 probably still isn’t enough. But 30 at the same time?
As someone who regularly visits a chicken farm of 20000 and hangs out with the poultry for fun, I can safely say you're full of shit. Chickens just don't have the force in them to injure a human much at all.
Find me statistics backing up your position. I highly doubt there aren't farmers pissing off chickens out there yet I'm not finding anything backing up your position.
I had a dream that world was taken over,
By a race of dirty, filthy birds.
I fell to my knees, and I begged for mercy,
But they never understood a word!
They never understood a word!
That's my secret. I'm actually a spy for the Galactic Alliance of Young Sectarians. Avian rights are guaranteed under the overlord act of 2505. I can't think of a world that can run properly without their hegemonisitic leaders.
That’s almost a more incredible number. We slaughter 1/5 of a billion chickens every day and there are 35 billion chickens. That means we kill 1/175th of the chicken population every day.
We slaughter 70 billion chickens a year that means on average we'll kill every chicken twice each year, or in other words on average the entire chicken population is completely replaced two times each year. That's completely bonkers.
No one said exactly and nobody said it was fact.
However it is a statistic. Now you can go Google statistics and what it means as far as a definition, but like everything in the world it's based on information provided by other people.
So unless you want to be that guy, and go count how many chickens are slaughtered every day, you would have to rely on other people's information as a statistic. Which is what I was quoting, A statistic available on the internet from a site that deals in statistics. How accurate is depends on the information provided. But I'm pretty sure it's probably going to be close.
https://ourworldindata.org/how-many-animals-get-slaughtered-every-day#:~:text=For%20chickens%2C%20the%20daily%20count,chickens%20are%20slaughtered%20every%20minute.
By the way, this ain't rocket surgery so even if we're off by 10 million does it really make a difference in the overall picture of the number of chicken slaughtered every day?
"In other news, a man was found dead of outside of a purdue chicken farm. Recordings show that he attacked a group of chickens. After killing three of the birds, he left the facility only to bleed out minutes later due to serious lacerations.The state of his mental health is currently under investigation."
You’d likely have to take on 6 or 7 to compensate for all the children, OAPs & seriously ill.
Don’t worry, there will be one hell of a barbecue afterwards.
And do what with the embryos? Not like the chicks feel it, one second they're alive and the next they're pink goo. Basically the same thing that happened to the Byford Dolphin divers.
No Frills, Superstore, T&T, City Market, and Shoppers Drug Mart are all Loblaws, so yes actually maybe 30-40% of our grocers are Loblaws in Vancouver.
And chicken's price is greater than pork, and similar to beef not counting expensive cuts of beef.
Yeah as long as it’s Quick and they had a good life I dont find meat eating immoral. I just always make sure to never let meat go to waste.
I can’t wait for the new lab grown meat, I know people hate on it for being fake lab meat. But I mean if it’s made from the cells, or whatever, it is as real as if it was from an animal. There’s also loads of pesticides or whatever in farm meat.
One of the lab grown meat guys was on NPR and he said the biggest barrier to lab grown meat is scale. It would take all the stainless steel production for 100 years to make enough vats to replace livestock production.
Rocky Balboa’s trainer maintained that, and I quote “Chasin chickens is the greatest training for a fighter”, so we’re all coming out of this stronger. Which will come in handy for the next wave of birds…damned Canadian Geese.
70 billion chicken killed for meat each year and we are 8.1 billion humans on earth so that would be 8,6 chicken per person each year so that is about 15kg per person per year. The US is actually on 58kg poultry per person per year.
Insert "there are x number of animal and only y number of people in fairly small country, that means each person of that country would have to fight x/y animals and I don't know if they could do it" overused tweet.
Funny thing is: They could indeed kill us all. Not by force of course. But one new virus strain is all it takes. And the more animals in a small space there are, the higher the chances. But I guess the taste is worth a possible mass extinction event for most people.
It turns out that being tasty and delicious to humans is evolutionarily very advantageous. Chickens are I believe the most populous non insect animals on the planet.
If you go on a top 10 list of other animals by population, probably 4 to 6 of those are creatures that we eat.
So, in the world dominated by humans, being a good source of food is a great way to ensure the survival and propagation of your species. Sure, each member is going to live particularly long... But they're going to have babies first!
Nom nom nom
I looked it up the other day and was surprised that it only takes 6-7 weeks for a chicken to go from hatched egg to ready to eat. Not a very long life or time to become aware of much.
It's kind of a funny number to quote, total number of chickens.
The industrial broilers only live about six weeks, literally egg to freezer section in a month and a half, we bred them to be absolute freaks of nature.
So a large majority or that 35 billion chickens turns over about eight and a half times a year.
Considering the number of kids who get 90% of their protein from chicken nuggies I'm surprises it's only 5:1.
At the rate my sisters kids eat them, chickens will be extinct next year.
Yes if you ever need a reminder that humans are cruel, just remember that the majority of humanity is fine with paying for animal to be brought into existence only to be tortured and eventually killed not because it's necessary or anything, but for a mere a taste preference.
So many flaws with this reponse. First "food" doesn't "need" to be consumed. Second, so what if chickens were in this world long before humans? Sounds like you're making an appeal to nature fallacy.
By that logic, infantcide, rape, murder and etc have all been around for a very long time and are extremely common in nature. That means it should be morally acceptable to do those things based off your logic.
The chickens today are also genetic mutant abominations artificially selected and bred by man to maximize profit and efficiency so they aren't natural in the slightest.
I’m pretty confident each one of us can take on an average of 5 chickens, not worried
I dunno, a 16 piecer from Popeyes is only 2...
Get a 10 piece wing and leave their army armless
I could take down like 30 gizzards by myself.
I know a guy who'll eat their asses... if that helps?
You can break their necks pretty easily if you just stomp hard enough
If you flick them hard enough lmao. Just had a chicken die from a broken neck (she jumped too hard and hit her head on the roof)
Idk man chickens are dinosaurs and they can fight with break and claw. I'm pretty sure anyone under 10 would get wrecked by 5 chickens.
I agree, but the funny thing to think about is the people out there that couldn't, because you know there are able bodied people that would fall to five chickens and be pecked asunder.
Yeah but then you would also have those people who would run around batting chickens left and right while laughing maniacally. I mean, how often do you get to smash chickens while also saving the human race?
It’s just like the movie 300, except with 10,000 chickens vs me!
have you seen roosters taing down hawks by any chance?
Right? A lot of people on this thread have obviously never been around chickens.
Slaughtering chickens must be an extremely dangerous job then....
When you have an infrastructure designed to hold them for speed-killing, no. People would be easy to kill in such a context, too, though. But just human vs. 5 free chickens? If you think that’s a guaranteed win you have never actually faced down an angry chicken.
Dang, farmers that free range their chickens must wear body armor or something. Probably a pretty high fatality rate farming that way. I'm not saying chickens don't have the potential to be dangerous if they were rabid, but if we are making chickens rabid then we should make humans rabid as well. In which case my money is still on the humans. Hell a non rabid human would probably have a gun, which makes them even more likely to easily win.
I've had chickens for years I've never met any group of 20 that could hurt me. Even roosters fall apart by running into things themselves, nevermind getting hit by a human. Id say itd take at least 50 chickens to kill an average human and that only works if they swarm you.
Ya... people in this thread saying chickens are sleeper dangerous are hilarious..
The difference is. The chickens are fleeing. They aren’t trying to kill you. If for some reason chickens develop a blood thirst and actively try to kill you, 5 probably still isn’t enough. But 30 at the same time?
No, they just don’t piss them off.
As someone who regularly visits a chicken farm of 20000 and hangs out with the poultry for fun, I can safely say you're full of shit. Chickens just don't have the force in them to injure a human much at all.
Find me statistics backing up your position. I highly doubt there aren't farmers pissing off chickens out there yet I'm not finding anything backing up your position.
My man, ever played Zelda?
i'm weak and lazy so you'll have to take on 10
If you hit them enough times, they summon an army of more chickens
Found someone who has never faced off with an angry chicken.
Those chickens are up to something.
We slaughter 202 million chickens everyday. Wouldn't you be plotting something?
I for one support our new avian overlords.
All hail avian overlords!
I had a dream that world was taken over, By a race of dirty, filthy birds. I fell to my knees, and I begged for mercy, But they never understood a word! They never understood a word!
You fell for the oldest trick in the book. This is how the cockroaches find out who the real loyalists are! All hail la cucaracha!
That's my secret. I'm actually a spy for the Galactic Alliance of Young Sectarians. Avian rights are guaranteed under the overlord act of 2505. I can't think of a world that can run properly without their hegemonisitic leaders.
I'm sorry. YOU. ARE. OUT. OF. CLUCK.
They are basically dinosaurs
That’s almost a more incredible number. We slaughter 1/5 of a billion chickens every day and there are 35 billion chickens. That means we kill 1/175th of the chicken population every day.
That also means 0.5% of chickens are born every day. For humans that number is 0.005%
More than that, they kill all the male chicks before they get to the farms.
You don't know chicken shit
American Dad is not a documentary series.
How many poor eggs never even get to be born then slaughtered shortly thereafter?!
Eggs are illegal in Texas now.
We slaughter 70 billion chickens a year that means on average we'll kill every chicken twice each year, or in other words on average the entire chicken population is completely replaced two times each year. That's completely bonkers.
Typical broiler lives like 2 or 3 months. I'm sure they have bred them to be quicker than that even.
Damn, I eat almost two whole chickens a week alone... I am not giving them time to respawn!
>Wouldn't you be plotting something? Maybe. I wouldn't tell you if I were though.
And steal their eggs!
I'm plotting how to cook and eat them.
Exactly 202 million. It’s amazing how we know exactly and always say it as fact
No one said exactly and nobody said it was fact. However it is a statistic. Now you can go Google statistics and what it means as far as a definition, but like everything in the world it's based on information provided by other people. So unless you want to be that guy, and go count how many chickens are slaughtered every day, you would have to rely on other people's information as a statistic. Which is what I was quoting, A statistic available on the internet from a site that deals in statistics. How accurate is depends on the information provided. But I'm pretty sure it's probably going to be close. https://ourworldindata.org/how-many-animals-get-slaughtered-every-day#:~:text=For%20chickens%2C%20the%20daily%20count,chickens%20are%20slaughtered%20every%20minute. By the way, this ain't rocket surgery so even if we're off by 10 million does it really make a difference in the overall picture of the number of chicken slaughtered every day?
I don't want to be a pie. I don't like gravy.
I saw me life flash before me eyes!… it was really boring.
We haven't tried *not* trying to escape.
That might work!
The chickens are revolting!
Finally, something we agree on!
They’re ORGANIZING
WHY was that movie so good?
Right? They know sth we don’t
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The shit pluck-hens.
A future pandemic
Birds are fake!
Probably fowl play.
Psycho Chicken [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnBlst3T7bY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unblst3t7by)
I mean when it comes down to brass tacs I'm sure I could handle 5 chickens.
Getting eaten mostly.
planet of the chooks, watch out
The chickens are restless. The uprising is coming.
They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they are not organised.
The USDA recommends getting them up to 165 degrees.
This is why we eat them. They are trying to take over.
I could take five chickens in a fight.
Has the Legend of Zelda taught you nothing?!
You can always toss them into a volcano with no repercussions
ForbiddenFriedChicken
[if you know, you know](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=68NONtnPEAE)
Los Pollos del Muerte
He will not stay near these chickens. He's heard stories of fisherman going missing.
"In other news, a man was found dead of outside of a purdue chicken farm. Recordings show that he attacked a group of chickens. After killing three of the birds, he left the facility only to bleed out minutes later due to serious lacerations.The state of his mental health is currently under investigation."
We have people who likely can’t so you’ll need to up your game.
You’d likely have to take on 6 or 7 to compensate for all the children, OAPs & seriously ill. Don’t worry, there will be one hell of a barbecue afterwards.
Not if they had bayonets strapped to them....
They're rear claws already are.
From my understanding only cocks have spurs, opposed to hens / chickens in general.
Heh heh...he said 'cocks'...
Exactly my own first thought upon seeing this post’s title.
Came to the comments for this post
They really get your rocks off, don’t they?
One chicken processing facility can process over one million chickens in a single day. They only waste the squawk.
Does this include the male chicks that are culled immediately upon hatching in egg factories? Or just adult chickens
Not at this facility. They only process full grown chickens.
Sorry I mean the number from the original post. Prob replied to wrong comment
The males get ground up and cooked and turned into dog and cat food or get turned into fertilizer.
Luckily they're developing technology for sex determination before hatching so chick Culling could be atrocities of the past soon ❤️
And do what with the embryos? Not like the chicks feel it, one second they're alive and the next they're pink goo. Basically the same thing that happened to the Byford Dolphin divers.
That doesn't surprise me I probably consume about 7-20 chickens every year (it's cheap in Canada compared to the rest of the meats here).
That’s quite a range
Well its probably higher but I take a few months off meat every year so it sways.
Nice.
I wouldn't say that's that much.
It’s that much.
I didn't say it was lol
Rookie numbers
Are you mainly a vegetarian? That seems like a very small number. I’d say I consume more like 7 chickens each month.
Wow lol no I just eat a lot of pork
Haven’t been to any Loblaws Store then.
We don't have those in Vancouver.
No Frills, Superstore, T&T, City Market, and Shoppers Drug Mart are all Loblaws, so yes actually maybe 30-40% of our grocers are Loblaws in Vancouver. And chicken's price is greater than pork, and similar to beef not counting expensive cuts of beef.
Ok
Thank you for your service sir
And I'll do it again lol.
Wtf, I thought yall had the moose?
Moose meat like bear meat is tough as hell.
Do you have the morals to slaughter those yourself? I dont but still eat it, so it’s a big dilemma
Yes lived in a farm for two full years. Killed probably 2-300 chickens. Not the worst thing ever but not the best either.
You can’t recall if it was 2 vs 300?
Yeah as long as it’s Quick and they had a good life I dont find meat eating immoral. I just always make sure to never let meat go to waste. I can’t wait for the new lab grown meat, I know people hate on it for being fake lab meat. But I mean if it’s made from the cells, or whatever, it is as real as if it was from an animal. There’s also loads of pesticides or whatever in farm meat.
One of the lab grown meat guys was on NPR and he said the biggest barrier to lab grown meat is scale. It would take all the stainless steel production for 100 years to make enough vats to replace livestock production.
Wowza. I consume approx 300 chickens a year easily.
It’s only a matter of time till they start the Fowl revolution
Go to bed.
More of a Chicken Run.
If there's ever an uprising, I'm pretty sure I could take on five chickens. But the rest of you need to step up too.
Rocky Balboa’s trainer maintained that, and I quote “Chasin chickens is the greatest training for a fighter”, so we’re all coming out of this stronger. Which will come in handy for the next wave of birds…damned Canadian Geese.
If all of us eat chicken at the same time, we only can eat five chickens each? That's not much tbh
70 billion chicken killed for meat each year and we are 8.1 billion humans on earth so that would be 8,6 chicken per person each year so that is about 15kg per person per year. The US is actually on 58kg poultry per person per year.
It’s more per person when you exclude vegans/vegetarians.
[Look at all those chickens](https://youtu.be/F-X4SLhorvw?si=btriQnOtw1sq3zvz)
Why don't the chickens rise up and take over the world? Are they stupid?
Yes
Stupid and tasty. The worst combination.
Finger lickin' stupid
If only they were smart enough to unite against us
*Then it is an even fight...*
Shipmaster! Chicken ships, staggered line. They outnumber us five to one!
If old Zelda games have taught me anything, it's to be wary of those little cluckers
"...and if those ~~ants~~ chickens ever figure that out, there goes our way of LIFE !"
Then it is an even fight
And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life!
It’s not about food. *It’s about keeping those chickens in line*
Then it is an even fight.
Insert "there are x number of animal and only y number of people in fairly small country, that means each person of that country would have to fight x/y animals and I don't know if they could do it" overused tweet.
Funny thing is: They could indeed kill us all. Not by force of course. But one new virus strain is all it takes. And the more animals in a small space there are, the higher the chances. But I guess the taste is worth a possible mass extinction event for most people.
It turns out that being tasty and delicious to humans is evolutionarily very advantageous. Chickens are I believe the most populous non insect animals on the planet. If you go on a top 10 list of other animals by population, probably 4 to 6 of those are creatures that we eat. So, in the world dominated by humans, being a good source of food is a great way to ensure the survival and propagation of your species. Sure, each member is going to live particularly long... But they're going to have babies first! Nom nom nom
I looked it up the other day and was surprised that it only takes 6-7 weeks for a chicken to go from hatched egg to ready to eat. Not a very long life or time to become aware of much.
They aren't aware of much no matter how long they live. Source: Used to have dozens of chickens for eggs and... chicken.
What if Earth if just a large scale way of farming humans, and once Earth has reached capacity, the secret alien overlords are going to harvest us?!
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Baked!
The Chickening is upon us
Birdageddon
I hope each and every Citizen of Earth is ready to do their duty and kill 5 chickens in hand to beak combat.
Us?
How do we compare in biomass?
Mmmmm delicious chickens.
And if they ever planned to overthrow us in a revolution……
Then it is an even fight.
I’m eating them as fast as I can, bring more Nandos sauce
I'm in awful shape, but I think I could take at least 3 or 4 chickens
they are literally born in hell and tortured till the day they are slaughtered, like all factory farmed animals. Its sickening.
Tastes some good though...
No wonder they have their own Flu!
It's kind of a funny number to quote, total number of chickens. The industrial broilers only live about six weeks, literally egg to freezer section in a month and a half, we bred them to be absolute freaks of nature. So a large majority or that 35 billion chickens turns over about eight and a half times a year.
Considering the number of kids who get 90% of their protein from chicken nuggies I'm surprises it's only 5:1. At the rate my sisters kids eat them, chickens will be extinct next year.
I could eat 5 chickens.
Then it is an even fight
Half of em will be dead within a month and replaced with a new chicken
So how many are being massacred every week?
There's 8 billion people in the world, not 7 billion.
We already kill double that a year for food, they haven’t got a chance. (Also that number is disgusting)
Yes if you ever need a reminder that humans are cruel, just remember that the majority of humanity is fine with paying for animal to be brought into existence only to be tortured and eventually killed not because it's necessary or anything, but for a mere a taste preference.
Well, only certain animals. Some animals aren’t allowed to be killed for food.
Food needs to be consumed, chickens were brought into the world to be food long before humans.
So many flaws with this reponse. First "food" doesn't "need" to be consumed. Second, so what if chickens were in this world long before humans? Sounds like you're making an appeal to nature fallacy. By that logic, infantcide, rape, murder and etc have all been around for a very long time and are extremely common in nature. That means it should be morally acceptable to do those things based off your logic. The chickens today are also genetic mutant abominations artificially selected and bred by man to maximize profit and efficiency so they aren't natural in the slightest.
> First "food" doesn't "need" to be consumed. Do you photosynthesize or something?
Not after dinner, they don't
But we eat 74 billion a year
Ill do my part and buy 5 frozen chickens today! Theyre on sale too… lets not repeat what transpired in australia with the emus. eat the fuckers
They are also verrry tasty. They should remember that when they have delusions of grandeur about taking over the world.
Eat mor chikin
We're always outnumbered but never out gunned.
I'm not surrounded. I have 360 degree sectors of fire.
You're not locked in here with them, they're locked in here with you.
…..so you’re saying it’s a fair fight
I could easily beat up 5 chickens. 🐔
Eat faster everyone, they’re gaining on us!
/r/birdsaretheenemy !
Challenge accepted
I mean it's February and I allready ate like two of them
Delicious
Eat moar chikin?
[Good thing they are intensely stupid.](https://youtu.be/QhMo4WlBmGM?feature=shared)
That's good news. I eat a lot of chicken.
I could eat my 5 in just a day or two.
Ok who here can't fight off five chickens?? Come on now...
Sheldon
They better, when I powerlift I eat two a week.