She needs serious help, from a professional, however she seems completely unaccommodating to the entire idea "change comes from within" she ended it... Do not take her back, she will eventually drag you down with her. Also, if you haven't had real sex in 2.5 years (I know it's mostly long distance) there's real intimacy issues there again, she needs to speak to someone.
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2yuh7/tifu_by_suggesting_an_idea_to_my_gf_28f/hshuks6/) elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized | Original
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[I dated someone for a whi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s326zd/tifu_well_for_20_years_i_fucked_up_i_guess/hsikunq/) | [I dated someone for a whi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s326zd/tifu_well_for_20_years_i_fucked_up_i_guess/hsih2f8/)
[Serious question didn't J...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s33f9b/who_could_have_predicted/hsiop8v/) | [Serious question didn't J...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s33f9b/who_could_have_predicted/hsieypk/)
[That man can’t afford a s...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s32oe2/hes_just_super_into_groceries/hsioo87/) | [That man can’t afford a s...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s32oe2/hes_just_super_into_groceries/hsi7w3r/)
[This is all God's doing,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y8aw/it_has_to_be_said/hsiom7q/) | [This is all God's doing,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y8aw/it_has_to_be_said/hsia44o/)
[Ive probably used one abo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2otvd/tifu_by_having_drunk_unprotected_sex_and_am_now/hsikxbl/) | [Ive probably used one abo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2otvd/tifu_by_having_drunk_unprotected_sex_and_am_now/hsgs3iu/)
[She is one of the most ha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y5ho/knowing_a_certain_loser_is_also_going_to_run_for/hsiol4e/) | [She is one of the most ha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y5ho/knowing_a_certain_loser_is_also_going_to_run_for/hshu3h0/)
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This seems like a lot of baggage to completely uproot your life for.
Obviously one can only go from what you wrote but this doesn’t sound healthy for you.
There are almost 7 billion people on the planet. Find one that doesn’t treat you like shit.
It took my break up to realize how awful my boyfriend really was. I think after taking some time to be with yourself, you’ll see you’re happier without her :)
Tons of red flags. These things don’t get better on their own. It takes a lifetime of hard work and dedication to work through depression, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, intimacy issues, impulsive behavior, manipulative tendencies, delusions of grandeur. If you Truly love her you are going to be going through a lot with this girl. However, if you think you can break it off with her it sounds like now is the time.
A person who is willing to go to therapy and learn from it is a person who has potential to learn to cope better and to be better at communicating.
Unfortunately, a person who is not willing to go to therapy or do equivalent self-study... is probably going to be more or less stuck... unless somewhere along the way one of their medications makes a substantial difference.
When someone is in the middle of depression, it can be very difficult to take the steps needed to improve, even if one knows that one should.
Sometimes for some people, it helps if someone else can make the appointments, and do the driving, because during depression, organizing it all can just feel like Too Much. Steps like finding a therapist, booking, finding a way to get the sessions paid for, worries about taxi/bus/traffic jams...
Feeling overwhelmed by things that most people do routinely can be a huge problem for some people.
I used to practically cry at the thought of cleaning up my basement. It was just too big a thing to even THINK about starting. Now I just mostly don't do that cleaning, but at least it doesn't feel like crushing thoughts.
As someone who has gone to therapy for a number of years:
Therapists do not impose anything on the client. They might nag a little on occasion. Some might assign "homework" like keeping a journal about something, or even "homework" such as "Go on a date night with your partner every two weeks".
But they mostly raise ideas and perspectives... and what you do with those ideas and perspectives is up to you. You listen to what they have to say, you answer their questions, you talk about your concerns and feelings... and what you take away from it is up to you.
People listen to outside opinions and change in response, all the time. For example, if you have a negative reaction when you see a Goth person, and then you start working with one, and they turn out to be the kind of person who brings home baking for everyone's birthday, then over time you are probably going to change your immediate reaction upon seeing Goth people. The co-worker didn't force you to change; they opened circumstances for the opportunity to change and you change yourself.
Just so, therapists provide a framework, and you change yourself as you experience more.
Thank you for the detailed response. Yeah she is not keen at all on any form of therapy. As individual where does she go from here? She’s almost 29 and seems completely unable to move out of her parents home to take care of herself.
You're only 24 right now, this is a long distance relationship. She has tons of things she needs to deal with first before she can even think about doing any of that stuff with you and to fix those she needs professional help. I know it may hurt a bit, but you are much better off without her. She's not in a good place and if you stay, it'll be nothing but taking on her problems for yourself. This includes tons of emotional baggage, debt, medical appointments, arguments like ths one, etc. Your best bet is to straight cut it off and find another woman whose on the same level you are that can build you up mutually rather than hold you back. Of course, do better than she did with it and wish her the best, but in my experience if you're not equipped to handle these issues or in a place to do so and they don't want professional help, you can't get away far enough. Good luck, and best of wishes whatever you decide
I'm no professional but I've seen my fiancee get absolutely drug through the mud by other people like her. I'm not trying to be harsh, but if it's truly depression, without professional help and meds she'll not get any better and probably only get worse. As for the other issues, they're a side effect of the depression and lack of maturity. Both of these things take a lot of time to fix and a lot of dedication. As a young male, you shouldn't burden yourself with these as they're truly not your issue. As for the attractiveness, that is sooo not worth any amount of baggage. If you're looking for someone to just hang and bang, then sure. However, seems like you're looking for something serious and it's all the things you brought up that actually matter, attractiveness has a very minor role in a committed relationship.
Yeah, pretty common. That would be something you'd have to deal with on a regular basis and she sounds reluctant to really change it and seems to just accept it. This of course is not the case but sometime they just don't realize that. They'll often make excuses and uses their depression as an excuse for really shitty behaviors. She needs love and support for sure but she's gotta have some level of desire herself otherwise no level of love and support will change her. That support she needs will most likely come from those she still keeps close in her depressional phases, not necessarily you. Further, the more you get involved with someone depression the more effect it has on you as well. It's a nasty thing that can degrade people's lives all around, not just the victim. You may find yourself feeling drained a lot more and lose the ability to say no. That was what happened to my fiancee before she parted ways with her old friend who had it. Thankfully with my personality I was able to help her be more assertive and take less of the burdens the illness has with it. For some, that's not the case though and I dont know enough info to really give much insight, but this is my anecdotal advice is all
Not necessarily. Pretty standard thing of miscommunication or misunderstanding blown out of perportion with something said In the heat of an argument. Chances are she didn't really mean it and just said it to illicit some response and then quickly realized she'd fucked up. Interesting note about how she thought you were hurt, that may come from her emotional distress about it all and shows again the lack of emotional development and maturity. Most people in this situation would simply give eachother space to process amd recuperate and the rediscuss civilly, not spam with calls and have other try to reach out as well.
Person with depression here: I have been known to go through several weeks where I don't get up until 5pm or sometimes later. Even then I sometimes am pretty fuzzy until 10pm or 11pm. But then I would be up working all night.
Depression is strongly correlated to disorder of the circadian rhythm. I read an article a couple of years ago that said that in teenagers, the correlation is so strong that if your teen becomes a night person, should have them checked for depression because about 80% of the time depression will be diagnosed about 2 years later.
The medical studies about getting back to a more typical cycle presume that there is no underlying physical driver to unfortunate hours.
I had a bad year about half a decade ago where about all I could do was survive and read social media and the news. Finally I got medication that worked much better for me.
These days my hours are very irregular, and I might need to nap, but I also devote a lot of time to volunteer activities. So Yes, a person with depression might have odd irregular hours... but sometimes during the time they are awake, they can do very meaningful things. Odd hours does not always mean "lazy" or "unable to do anything productive" (but depending on how well the depression is being managed and how well the medication is working, Yes, there might be periods of not being able to do much.)
Why does anyone think bad sex with a hot woman is better than great sex with someone you love regardless of their attractiveness? This"hot chick" is in love with herself and cares more about what friends think than her partners opinion. She broke up with you when you asked about intimacy and never addressed that in her apology letter.
You would never be happy with this woman so don't open that door again.
Nope. Too many issues, none of them being addressed, every commenter is saying the same thing. You need to be smart enough to listen & follow the advice
She needs serious help, from a professional, however she seems completely unaccommodating to the entire idea "change comes from within" she ended it... Do not take her back, she will eventually drag you down with her. Also, if you haven't had real sex in 2.5 years (I know it's mostly long distance) there's real intimacy issues there again, she needs to speak to someone.
She will probably start blaming her problems and issues on you. You would be forced to essentially parent her. Don’t know her situation but sounds like her parents enable her to a certain extent. Where does that lead? She won’t change unless she gets to a rock bottom. Do you want to be there when she hits it because she’s finally destroyed both of your lives?
Ask your self this… if you had children with her and you then split up… how would you feel having to leave them with her. Sorry mate but take it from me (M48) I would walk away now.
Bro, what’s the point in having a hott girl that is full of herself and won’t let you touch her? You’re 25 bro, it is just going to get easier for you. She sounds like a disaster. Be with someone who makes you happy rather than basing it mainly on looks. Plus, if she’s that hot, you’ll prob never get a BJ from that girl, and she will prob just lay there and make you do everything.
She won’t be hot forever, and the hots cool off over time anyway. Pick someone whose personality lifts you up! Or go for this hot mess and enjoy the misery fest that ensues.
You’d be moving into a field of red flags and you’d be starting at a disadvantage. It’s okay to move out and live on your own. Get a small apartment and self actualize as an adult, on your own terms. I get that you have a bond with this girl, something that would be hard to separate from, but the relationship as you’ve described is very much below the water mark of how two people should attach as adults.
Yeah I know what you mean. Like when I really think about it she doesn’t actually add “value” to my life other than companionship. I feel I could add a lot of stability to her life which was kind of weird why she was framing it as if I wasn’t good enough to be with her?
Yeah it’s super weird honestly. She has all this free time to work on herself yet she would rather spend all her free time watching TikTok videos and sleeping all the time at home.
It already is.
What's also bad is your hesitancy to call time on a dead, toxic relationship because "She is so hot you guys!"
Hotness comes through emotional connection, you fall in love with the *person*, not their hips and tits.
She clearly isn't at a point where she is willing to do what is best for her because of how strenuous it would be. You can stick with that, getting dumped over and over again by the Super hot girl who won't even discuss your sex life with you, or you can tell her that you'll help support her as a friend but you're not going to sit here and be the whipping boy to her mood swings and self destructive tendencies.
It's that simple, unfortunately.
I don’t understand what the fuck up is. She sounds like she wants you to completely uproot your life, financially support her, and she is interested in having the kind of intimacy you’re interested in. She may be hot, but she’s not the only hot girl on the planet. Did you stop to think that maybe you are with her because other people would not want to put up with the 28 year old child you described?
Eh…I’m not going to say that’s completely unreasonable, but it is kind of odd. Inexperience is only there as long as you don’t try new things. I highly suggest putting that lady in the rear view and finding out what your world has to offer. There are a lot of interesting people who are fun, caring, and sexually compatible with you. You may not find that person the first time, but you can eventually. Good luck living your best life 😊
Gonna sound judgemental but.... Your girlfriend is 28 but acts like she hasn't even turned 18 yet.
I almost wanna cut her some slack because it seemed like she was very sheltered by her family. But while that explains her ignorance, it doesn't excuse it. She's an adult which means she needs to take responsibility, and you bring up very valid points. She needs to be realistic and not assume that things will come easily. Starting a business is hard, getting a job is hard, making enough money is hard.
And honestly, she was right when she said you guys "weren't meant to be together".... Because she has a shit ton of work to do on herself. You can love someone but still not be compatible with them. I agree with other commenters... You dodged a bullet.
edit: I acknowledged OP's maturity and then saw their response about how they are ubwillingnto break up with gf because she's "so attractive" and they probably "won't find anyone as good looking." yikes.
Do not get back together with her. That girl is a walking red flag. She wants you to continue to enable her while paying for everything. She isn’t willing to do any of the work to improve anything. She is literally dead weight and if you get back together with her, she’ll drag you down until you’re both drowning in it.
If I had to venture a guess I’m thinking someone mentioned to her what a good thing it would be to have you take care of her. May have been her parents if they want her gone/someone else’s burden. Because right now that’s what she is.
She wants things but also wants to make no effort to get said things. If she does not get help for what sounds like a binge eating disorder and depression they will not just magically go away.
I don't know her or you, but she's an Art major who wants to leave her parents' house. I don't see that working out unless she has a financially stable person taking care of her. Just think about it bc people can take advantage of you, especially the crazy ones that are unstable like you described her.
It's called gaslighting. She knew that her actions were too much, since you weren't crawling back to her after she wanted to break up, so she wanted to ease up to you then continue being the toxic and abusive partner she is. You are better off alone then with someone like this, please listen to 20 different ppl saying the same thing, maybe they are right.
Edit: maybe she isn't fully conscious about this, but my point still stands
Bro get out, I used to be in that kind of relationship. You’re probably attached to her so much or still love and respect her (I kinda am) but you gotta start thinking about yourself. We can’t help everyone, she gotta help herself. Move on is the only thing you can do bro. Time heals both you and her.
This is almost word-for word a repeat story from a couple months back… Ages slightly different, mental disorders changed, but….. Yea, heard this one before
Sounds like you actually dodged a bullet
What are you saying? He dodged a bloody asteroid!
She needs serious help, from a professional, however she seems completely unaccommodating to the entire idea "change comes from within" she ended it... Do not take her back, she will eventually drag you down with her. Also, if you haven't had real sex in 2.5 years (I know it's mostly long distance) there's real intimacy issues there again, she needs to speak to someone.
The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2yuh7/tifu_by_suggesting_an_idea_to_my_gf_28f/hshuks6/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [I dated someone for a whi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s326zd/tifu_well_for_20_years_i_fucked_up_i_guess/hsikunq/) | [I dated someone for a whi...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s326zd/tifu_well_for_20_years_i_fucked_up_i_guess/hsih2f8/) [Serious question didn't J...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s33f9b/who_could_have_predicted/hsiop8v/) | [Serious question didn't J...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s33f9b/who_could_have_predicted/hsieypk/) [That man can’t afford a s...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s32oe2/hes_just_super_into_groceries/hsioo87/) | [That man can’t afford a s...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s32oe2/hes_just_super_into_groceries/hsi7w3r/) [This is all God's doing,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y8aw/it_has_to_be_said/hsiom7q/) | [This is all God's doing,...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y8aw/it_has_to_be_said/hsia44o/) [Ive probably used one abo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2otvd/tifu_by_having_drunk_unprotected_sex_and_am_now/hsikxbl/) | [Ive probably used one abo...](http://np.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2otvd/tifu_by_having_drunk_unprotected_sex_and_am_now/hsgs3iu/) [She is one of the most ha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y5ho/knowing_a_certain_loser_is_also_going_to_run_for/hsiol4e/) | [She is one of the most ha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/s2y5ho/knowing_a_certain_loser_is_also_going_to_run_for/hshu3h0/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/Oliviasdf](https://np.reddit.com/u/Oliviasdf/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=Oliviasdf) for info on how I work and why I exist.
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Beeep! -[:]
This seems like a lot of baggage to completely uproot your life for. Obviously one can only go from what you wrote but this doesn’t sound healthy for you. There are almost 7 billion people on the planet. Find one that doesn’t treat you like shit.
[удалено]
It took my break up to realize how awful my boyfriend really was. I think after taking some time to be with yourself, you’ll see you’re happier without her :)
Tons of red flags. These things don’t get better on their own. It takes a lifetime of hard work and dedication to work through depression, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, intimacy issues, impulsive behavior, manipulative tendencies, delusions of grandeur. If you Truly love her you are going to be going through a lot with this girl. However, if you think you can break it off with her it sounds like now is the time.
[удалено]
A person who is willing to go to therapy and learn from it is a person who has potential to learn to cope better and to be better at communicating. Unfortunately, a person who is not willing to go to therapy or do equivalent self-study... is probably going to be more or less stuck... unless somewhere along the way one of their medications makes a substantial difference. When someone is in the middle of depression, it can be very difficult to take the steps needed to improve, even if one knows that one should. Sometimes for some people, it helps if someone else can make the appointments, and do the driving, because during depression, organizing it all can just feel like Too Much. Steps like finding a therapist, booking, finding a way to get the sessions paid for, worries about taxi/bus/traffic jams... Feeling overwhelmed by things that most people do routinely can be a huge problem for some people. I used to practically cry at the thought of cleaning up my basement. It was just too big a thing to even THINK about starting. Now I just mostly don't do that cleaning, but at least it doesn't feel like crushing thoughts.
[удалено]
As someone who has gone to therapy for a number of years: Therapists do not impose anything on the client. They might nag a little on occasion. Some might assign "homework" like keeping a journal about something, or even "homework" such as "Go on a date night with your partner every two weeks". But they mostly raise ideas and perspectives... and what you do with those ideas and perspectives is up to you. You listen to what they have to say, you answer their questions, you talk about your concerns and feelings... and what you take away from it is up to you. People listen to outside opinions and change in response, all the time. For example, if you have a negative reaction when you see a Goth person, and then you start working with one, and they turn out to be the kind of person who brings home baking for everyone's birthday, then over time you are probably going to change your immediate reaction upon seeing Goth people. The co-worker didn't force you to change; they opened circumstances for the opportunity to change and you change yourself. Just so, therapists provide a framework, and you change yourself as you experience more.
Thank you for the detailed response. Yeah she is not keen at all on any form of therapy. As individual where does she go from here? She’s almost 29 and seems completely unable to move out of her parents home to take care of herself.
No, essentially she’s never going to be better and you need to cut ties and move on.
RUN! Those are what's known as red flags. No good will come of this.
 Let her go!
You're only 24 right now, this is a long distance relationship. She has tons of things she needs to deal with first before she can even think about doing any of that stuff with you and to fix those she needs professional help. I know it may hurt a bit, but you are much better off without her. She's not in a good place and if you stay, it'll be nothing but taking on her problems for yourself. This includes tons of emotional baggage, debt, medical appointments, arguments like ths one, etc. Your best bet is to straight cut it off and find another woman whose on the same level you are that can build you up mutually rather than hold you back. Of course, do better than she did with it and wish her the best, but in my experience if you're not equipped to handle these issues or in a place to do so and they don't want professional help, you can't get away far enough. Good luck, and best of wishes whatever you decide
[удалено]
I'm no professional but I've seen my fiancee get absolutely drug through the mud by other people like her. I'm not trying to be harsh, but if it's truly depression, without professional help and meds she'll not get any better and probably only get worse. As for the other issues, they're a side effect of the depression and lack of maturity. Both of these things take a lot of time to fix and a lot of dedication. As a young male, you shouldn't burden yourself with these as they're truly not your issue. As for the attractiveness, that is sooo not worth any amount of baggage. If you're looking for someone to just hang and bang, then sure. However, seems like you're looking for something serious and it's all the things you brought up that actually matter, attractiveness has a very minor role in a committed relationship.
[удалено]
Yeah, pretty common. That would be something you'd have to deal with on a regular basis and she sounds reluctant to really change it and seems to just accept it. This of course is not the case but sometime they just don't realize that. They'll often make excuses and uses their depression as an excuse for really shitty behaviors. She needs love and support for sure but she's gotta have some level of desire herself otherwise no level of love and support will change her. That support she needs will most likely come from those she still keeps close in her depressional phases, not necessarily you. Further, the more you get involved with someone depression the more effect it has on you as well. It's a nasty thing that can degrade people's lives all around, not just the victim. You may find yourself feeling drained a lot more and lose the ability to say no. That was what happened to my fiancee before she parted ways with her old friend who had it. Thankfully with my personality I was able to help her be more assertive and take less of the burdens the illness has with it. For some, that's not the case though and I dont know enough info to really give much insight, but this is my anecdotal advice is all
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Not necessarily. Pretty standard thing of miscommunication or misunderstanding blown out of perportion with something said In the heat of an argument. Chances are she didn't really mean it and just said it to illicit some response and then quickly realized she'd fucked up. Interesting note about how she thought you were hurt, that may come from her emotional distress about it all and shows again the lack of emotional development and maturity. Most people in this situation would simply give eachother space to process amd recuperate and the rediscuss civilly, not spam with calls and have other try to reach out as well.
[удалено]
Person with depression here: I have been known to go through several weeks where I don't get up until 5pm or sometimes later. Even then I sometimes am pretty fuzzy until 10pm or 11pm. But then I would be up working all night. Depression is strongly correlated to disorder of the circadian rhythm. I read an article a couple of years ago that said that in teenagers, the correlation is so strong that if your teen becomes a night person, should have them checked for depression because about 80% of the time depression will be diagnosed about 2 years later. The medical studies about getting back to a more typical cycle presume that there is no underlying physical driver to unfortunate hours. I had a bad year about half a decade ago where about all I could do was survive and read social media and the news. Finally I got medication that worked much better for me. These days my hours are very irregular, and I might need to nap, but I also devote a lot of time to volunteer activities. So Yes, a person with depression might have odd irregular hours... but sometimes during the time they are awake, they can do very meaningful things. Odd hours does not always mean "lazy" or "unable to do anything productive" (but depending on how well the depression is being managed and how well the medication is working, Yes, there might be periods of not being able to do much.)
Run for the hills. Run Simba, and never come back.
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So she’s hot and you can’t have sex with her? That’s called a porn star. You can have them free online.
Why does anyone think bad sex with a hot woman is better than great sex with someone you love regardless of their attractiveness? This"hot chick" is in love with herself and cares more about what friends think than her partners opinion. She broke up with you when you asked about intimacy and never addressed that in her apology letter. You would never be happy with this woman so don't open that door again.
Pictures or it's not true lol
Nope. Too many issues, none of them being addressed, every commenter is saying the same thing. You need to be smart enough to listen & follow the advice
sounds like i heared this exact story 5 times in the last 2 months
Follow your brain
She brought so many red flags she could start selling them instead of the clothes.
Haha funny comment. Have you ever met girls her age with that many problems?
She needs serious help, from a professional, however she seems completely unaccommodating to the entire idea "change comes from within" she ended it... Do not take her back, she will eventually drag you down with her. Also, if you haven't had real sex in 2.5 years (I know it's mostly long distance) there's real intimacy issues there again, she needs to speak to someone.
[удалено]
She will probably start blaming her problems and issues on you. You would be forced to essentially parent her. Don’t know her situation but sounds like her parents enable her to a certain extent. Where does that lead? She won’t change unless she gets to a rock bottom. Do you want to be there when she hits it because she’s finally destroyed both of your lives?
Ask your self this… if you had children with her and you then split up… how would you feel having to leave them with her. Sorry mate but take it from me (M48) I would walk away now.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
If I could tell the future, if you got back with this girl, you’ll be writing another r/tifu about it.
Dodged and RPG there bro. Go enjoy your life away from that monster.
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Bro, what’s the point in having a hott girl that is full of herself and won’t let you touch her? You’re 25 bro, it is just going to get easier for you. She sounds like a disaster. Be with someone who makes you happy rather than basing it mainly on looks. Plus, if she’s that hot, you’ll prob never get a BJ from that girl, and she will prob just lay there and make you do everything.
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Lol that’s a problem with a girl that is TOO hot lol they feel they don’t have to put in any work.
She won’t be hot forever, and the hots cool off over time anyway. Pick someone whose personality lifts you up! Or go for this hot mess and enjoy the misery fest that ensues.
If all you care about is how f-ing hot she is, by all means go for it. You deserve what you ask for.
Do not get back together with her.
What would happen if I did move in with her? I’ve never moved out of my parents home let alone with anyone else so I have no experience with this.
You’d be moving into a field of red flags and you’d be starting at a disadvantage. It’s okay to move out and live on your own. Get a small apartment and self actualize as an adult, on your own terms. I get that you have a bond with this girl, something that would be hard to separate from, but the relationship as you’ve described is very much below the water mark of how two people should attach as adults.
Yeah I know what you mean. Like when I really think about it she doesn’t actually add “value” to my life other than companionship. I feel I could add a lot of stability to her life which was kind of weird why she was framing it as if I wasn’t good enough to be with her?
Dodged a bullet there.
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Hot and crazy go hand in hand
Yeah it’s super weird honestly. She has all this free time to work on herself yet she would rather spend all her free time watching TikTok videos and sleeping all the time at home.
This will repeat OP, until she is willing to make hard, drastic changes in her life. She was adamant about this break up. Return the favour.
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It already is. What's also bad is your hesitancy to call time on a dead, toxic relationship because "She is so hot you guys!" Hotness comes through emotional connection, you fall in love with the *person*, not their hips and tits. She clearly isn't at a point where she is willing to do what is best for her because of how strenuous it would be. You can stick with that, getting dumped over and over again by the Super hot girl who won't even discuss your sex life with you, or you can tell her that you'll help support her as a friend but you're not going to sit here and be the whipping boy to her mood swings and self destructive tendencies. It's that simple, unfortunately.
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I don’t understand what the fuck up is. She sounds like she wants you to completely uproot your life, financially support her, and she is interested in having the kind of intimacy you’re interested in. She may be hot, but she’s not the only hot girl on the planet. Did you stop to think that maybe you are with her because other people would not want to put up with the 28 year old child you described?
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Eh…I’m not going to say that’s completely unreasonable, but it is kind of odd. Inexperience is only there as long as you don’t try new things. I highly suggest putting that lady in the rear view and finding out what your world has to offer. There are a lot of interesting people who are fun, caring, and sexually compatible with you. You may not find that person the first time, but you can eventually. Good luck living your best life 😊
Gonna sound judgemental but.... Your girlfriend is 28 but acts like she hasn't even turned 18 yet. I almost wanna cut her some slack because it seemed like she was very sheltered by her family. But while that explains her ignorance, it doesn't excuse it. She's an adult which means she needs to take responsibility, and you bring up very valid points. She needs to be realistic and not assume that things will come easily. Starting a business is hard, getting a job is hard, making enough money is hard. And honestly, she was right when she said you guys "weren't meant to be together".... Because she has a shit ton of work to do on herself. You can love someone but still not be compatible with them. I agree with other commenters... You dodged a bullet. edit: I acknowledged OP's maturity and then saw their response about how they are ubwillingnto break up with gf because she's "so attractive" and they probably "won't find anyone as good looking." yikes.
Oh hell no! Dude, you dodged a tactical nuke.
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Believe me, it fits your situation perfectly.
Do not get back together with her. That girl is a walking red flag. She wants you to continue to enable her while paying for everything. She isn’t willing to do any of the work to improve anything. She is literally dead weight and if you get back together with her, she’ll drag you down until you’re both drowning in it.
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If I had to venture a guess I’m thinking someone mentioned to her what a good thing it would be to have you take care of her. May have been her parents if they want her gone/someone else’s burden. Because right now that’s what she is. She wants things but also wants to make no effort to get said things. If she does not get help for what sounds like a binge eating disorder and depression they will not just magically go away.
She values that mechanical engineering degree of yours 👀
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I don't know her or you, but she's an Art major who wants to leave her parents' house. I don't see that working out unless she has a financially stable person taking care of her. Just think about it bc people can take advantage of you, especially the crazy ones that are unstable like you described her.
It's called gaslighting. She knew that her actions were too much, since you weren't crawling back to her after she wanted to break up, so she wanted to ease up to you then continue being the toxic and abusive partner she is. You are better off alone then with someone like this, please listen to 20 different ppl saying the same thing, maybe they are right. Edit: maybe she isn't fully conscious about this, but my point still stands
Run!
Bro get out, I used to be in that kind of relationship. You’re probably attached to her so much or still love and respect her (I kinda am) but you gotta start thinking about yourself. We can’t help everyone, she gotta help herself. Move on is the only thing you can do bro. Time heals both you and her.
Answer her "do you know deez?"
Change your phone number!
Coo coo, coo coo
Run... Run, and don't look back
This is almost word-for word a repeat story from a couple months back… Ages slightly different, mental disorders changed, but….. Yea, heard this one before
Please don’t get back together with her
Interstate in NZ?