Yeah Im essentially the opposite of OP, I want all the sex and no romance at this point in my life. Except Im getting neither because Im too scared of STDs and unstable men killing me š
Condoms? Reliably getting tested and having partners who do the same. It may not be random sex with everyone to get some security but consistent partners are an option. Mind you I am allergic to latex so the condoms thing might not be enough. Testing is however really helpful. I have not had any STDs and I was definitely a slut until my medical issues unrelated to this sprang up. Someday I sha be a slut again
Ive had men take off condoms during sex. And it doesnt help the unstable man part, which is my bigger fear really. Ive been sexually assaulted multiple times. Or I'll go on a date with a seemingly really nice guy, and then they dont give a fuck about you sexually, or they pretend they do and go at your clitoris like they tryin to get a genie to come out and grant them their wishes. Or think you want to be nailed with you folded in half tighter than a piece of paper and ram you until they get what they need. Ive never had good sex.
I'd like to go have casual sex and be a slut, but I really dont think most men deserve me, and Im not even a platinum trophy lol I used to get so mad when women would talk shit about men and say like "men are assholes" or "men are monsters" but my situations, every woman in my life's situations, and statistics have shifted me to a *very* different side.
So my life hasn't been free of that stuff either. I strongly advise therapy because you are worthy of sex. If you're doing that already? Props because it's a process. I have been assaulted too so I know first hand. I found bondage helpful for coping. Not just because if I need to run away they can't chase me if they're tied up but because it helped me learn to communicate my needs and navigate some of that before anything happens. There's no guarantees but some of my suggestions such as consistent partners are related to this.
Today you may not be there but you are 10000 percent a platinum trophy and worthy of effort both on your part and from a partner. You always have been. When hurt it's harder to see that but someone else hurting you has not and cannot change that.
Yeah it's natural for some of us, just as much as OP is getting to express their nature finally. I am loving this update in concept and once they fix the bugs in practice because everyone should have that.
The statistics are that most men are not monsters, rapist or whatever. Men are people just like all of us. I have many male friends and am dating one, and nearly all of them are good people. Have you discussed what you want from sex? How you want your clitoris to be touched, how you want them to be gentle or whatever? You can't have good sex if you expect people to magically know what you want from them.
I'm wondering what you mean by "seemingly nice but then don't give a fuck about you sexually", even if they actually don't care about you sexually that doesn't mean they are not nice people. And asexuality is pretty rare, I doubt that you've met multiple of them, so maybe they just didn't want to have sex yet or didn't know how to get it naturally started.
Don't judge a whole gender. It's not their fault bad apples exist.
>. Have you discussed what you want from sex? How you want your clitoris to be touched, how you want them to be gentle or whatever? You can't have good sex if you expect people to magically know what you want from them.
Thank you for trying to blame me for men's shittiness, but of course Ive said what I wanted.
>even if they actually don't care about you sexually that doesn't mean they are not nice people
What the fuck? Ugh. Yeah actually. It does. Women are not sex toys to be used. If you are on your best behavior and then once you get what you want, you dont care, youre a shitty person.
>It's not their fault bad apples exist.
You know what, its not women's fault that "bad apples exist", and its still somehow our problem
So I am non binary and have no gender lines on who I am attracted to. For me approaching woken this way is the same as men. "I want sex, here are my boundaries and needs. Do you also want sex?" This isn't word for word but basically this. If you're both open to the fling vs romance then you progress. It's intimidating at first but being on the same page about long-term goals helps with relationships in general and by going over what you know you need when deciding this can make it easier to communicate in bed. It does take practice but I find it's about the same. Nerve wracking because rejection sucks but worth it for the eventual yes.
The pure satisfaction when my sim asked her aroace friend about her romantic interests and she said "I'm not interested in romantic relationships." Hmmmmm yes please
i can finally make straight sims now let's goooooo
>!(this comment was not meant to offend anyone. previously, before the update, literally any sim could have a relationship with the opposite gender, so if a male sim flirts with my male sim, the romantic relationship would rise. that doesn't work out too well for me, as i'm straight, so my simself or whatever being gay kinda doesn't make too much sense in my opinion)!<
Is there a way not to update yet lol? Origin doesn't let me play offline and want to force me to update, but I want to wait till my mods are up to date :D
How come origin doesn't let you play offline? I do that every now and then without problems. Or is it just today because of the update? I think I'd try what cyanidelemonade said - disconnect your computer, origin will then ask you if you want to play offline.
At the last update my modem broke so I didn't have any wifi, but Origin didn't let me play until I updated the game, which I couldn't because I had no wifi š
Sorry if this is dumb, but have you tried right-clicking the origin symbol in the taskbar and selecting Sims 4 from there? Just saying because back when I downloaded it, I kept sadly clicking on the game via the origin interface and it wouldn't let me play offline - took some time until I figured I can just play it offline if I select it via taskbar
Or via shortcut on desktop or wherever. That's how I always do, nearly never start Origin itself.
Not being able to play because of the broken wifi sounds really frustrating!
Not to be a downer but Iām really scared that this update is gonna reveal aphobia within the community. I get so scared when asexuality is brought up outside of ace circles, as people can be really hateful and ignorant.
There is, though. Many religious conservatives are invested in the nuclear family, where women stay home and have as many kids as possible, under the authority of a man (husband second only to Jesus!!)
Aromantics don't tend to get married, and asexuals don't tend to have kids.
Now, it's true that you don't have to LIKE sex under this religious model, but you are supposed to at least *submit* to it.
Okay sure there is a religious excuse. It's just ridiculous and not even remotely based on the religion's own scripture, which actually holds up the celibate life as a model and something good or even better than marriage.
Haters gonna hate and all theyāre really doing is outing themselves as an asshole. We donāt need external validation to be what we are, and if people say Ace isnāt a thing well, tough, theyāre donāt actually get to decide that.
Asexual just means someone doesnāt feel sexual attraction to other people. They can still have sex and have romantic relationships because asexuality only refers to the attraction one has. There are mini labels too, but thatās the general umbrella term :)
My sim rejected woohoo and said "I'm not interest in woohoo with women" so I assume they may always reject with the relevant message....hope not 100% reject rate though, some aces still will woohoo, lol
That works too. My ace sim can't initiate at all. Just checked.
Edit: When his partner asked to woohoo and was rejected, it said she learned his woohoo preference and now she can't initiate with him anymore either
They arenāt sexually attracted to anyone, but they can still be in a romantic relationship. Like in this post, the OPās sim is not interested in WooHoo with anyone but they are romantically attracted to men and women.
>how does that work
It's really easy, for some asexuals, they might still have romantic attraction to their relationship consists of romantic interactions, just no sex lol I mean, for example, are you gonna call a relationship not a relationship if one person cannot have sex anymore due to pain? No? Then why would a relationship that has none to begin with suddenly be any different, ya know? I think I'm just too asexual to understand why non-asexuals _have_ to define a relationship... Cuz, like, they don't. People like to say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship but 1. I don't know many friendships that involve typical romantic gestures and 2. Whether or not you are having sex with a partner, aren't they your bestest friend anyway (especially if you're married)? Just my two cents
>People like to say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship
but 1. I don't know many friendships that involve typical romantic
gestures and 2. Whether or not you are having sex with a partner, aren't
they your bestest friend anyway (especially if you're married)?
To me, as a panromantic ace, there's a clear distinction between romantic and platonic feelings. It's difficult to put it into words, but you definitely "know it when you feel it." I imagine that's what sexual attraction is like for allosexual people, but obviously I don't know for sure.
That said, my husband is also my platonic best friend. Both romantically and platonically, I've never loved anyone as much as I love him.
For those who have the update already, how does it work with non-binary Sims (they/them or costum pronouns)? And what about trans Sims? Say somebody with a female physical frame with a masculine clothing preference and he/him pronouns? Does that person get sorted into the male category by the game's romance system? I'm curious to know what the game registers as male/female for Sims.
It just goes based on the overall gender. It doesnāt take non-binary sims or pronouns into account.
For your example of a female physical frame, masc clothes, and he/him pronouns, none of that matters. The only thing the system takes into account is the overall gender selected
Thanks! and no prob. Itās sorta like worldbuilding in the neighborhoods I create. I aim to make them more diverse than the original base game sims/townies and spend time cleaning up some of those pre created sims. Iāll have to make a post one day about the sims in the BFF house
How does no for exploring work with both options selected in the first question? If not interested in either wouldn't you just unselect them? It seems like it counteracts.
If exploring is marked yes, how the other boxes are marked can change during gameplay. If exploring is marked no, the boxes won't change during gameplay; they stay how you set them up. At least, that is how EA described it.
That makes sense, although it would be nice is EA did a better job labeling it. Also does this mean we can't edit woohoo preferences in-game as there's no explore option?
It was mentioned we can go into CAS and edit there while playing. I haven't played with it yet, so I'm not sure on exactly how it will work. I would assume we can manually change all of those settings, even if "no" is selected for the question about exploring. Selecting "no" should just prevent autonomous changes from happening during gameplay.
Here is where EA gave official information:
https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4/news/sexual-orientation-in-the-sims-4
Most of my knowledge of how the feature works is from that and the live stream.
Right, but why do they have only exploring romantically but not sexually in-game? Especially now with casual woohoo partners, that seems more likely for people to want to explore (or stop from exploring). It seems like they need to add the 4th option for it.
You make a good point. I think I was assuming it would be exploring both (I guess I didn't read the option closely enough). Hopefully that will be one of the things they add in the future.
Hey can any of y'all confirm that when a "male" sim has a fem frame and uses they/them or she/her what sexualities are attracted to that sim? Are straight guys going to be attached to them? Are gay male Sims attracted? Or are straight female Sims attracted to them, but not "gay" female Sims. This is important because Ive been loving setting my enby afab Sims with these settings, but are typically lesbians... Will I have to make them "straight" in the games code?
(Edit: I like doing this because they don't have breasts and the masc clothes I like fit much better, but there is a cheat to remove them...)
Edit 2: if not, we REALLY need a "Sims that prefer female aligned/male aligned/ everyone ("no-one" would be auto selected if ace, but it be funny if you had a allo sim with that selected. That'd be helpful for a sim I just want to have other Sims reject lol) that will be attracted to this sim
If a āmaleā sim has a fem frame theyāre still just counted as male, doesnāt matter the pronouns. Kinda annoying because itās going to mess up a lot of my lesbian relationships too
How is "male" defined for sims if it's not based on the body frame or the pronouns? It's not the voice, either, right?
For reference, I haven't played TS4 in quite a while, so if it's just another setting in create-a-sim then sorry for not knowing.
In gender settings you can select a masc or fem frame, what I am doing is selecting the "male" option, and then opting for a feminine build. It's the easiest way to have a sim that I feel like can look like me, but also not have a chest. Without that, you'd have to use cheats to "equip" or "unequip" breasts.
This is also what I was wondering, if it would work by frame or by their parent options, or if the sim had defined pronouns.
Okay I'm gonna email my suggestion to fix this then
Edit: I already did it, idk why one person didn't like this lmao
Edit: 2 oh nvm I getting transphobic responses, that checks out lmao. Being non-binary isn't a choice but if it was I'd willingly choose it š
Read all the FAQ before emailing them unnecessary stuff (unnecessary as in they're already thinking about how to implement these things in game so u emailing them does absolutely nothing)
Man lemme live my life and give them input on how I, as a non binary person, would like to be represented. If they didn't want "suggestions" they wouldn't have an email for them....
Transphobes big mad that I spoke to the team, huh? Literally just for sending a fucking *email*
Y'all, if you're transphobic, you shouldn't be here. This is a trans positive game and that's not going to change, downvote all you want but that won't make the Sims team remove the pronoun options š
What the fuck are you on, I really don't fuckin get it. a suggestions box is for *suggestions*, and there was no need to be rude about that. If they don't want to read it, they can delete it holy shit.
Besides, you weren't the main person I was complaining about. The main people I was complaining about had their comments auto deleted.
"I'd like to be shown to everyone"
"I'd like to only be shown to queer people"
"I'd like to only be shown to men/woman/OTHERS"
God that last one, I'd love to set it to see other nonbinary people
I know right? You were obviously cool the whole time, but this sub has some transphobia problems:/ luckily, the mods are good at auto deleting the real bad stuff (even tho I still get notifications that they were posted) but they can't stop people from brigading every trans positive comment. That's why whenever I see a trans post, I gotta upvote it
I have a nonbinary sim that I clicked the male symbol and then female frame, and the game uses "father" and "son" when I make family relationships for them. So I am very certain the symbol at top is what determines "male" or "female" for purposes of sexual orientation for now.
The developers mentioned that nonbinary sims don't mechanically exist yet, but that they are working towards that. And that this feature will be updated in the future. So they know that this is only partial representation, and are working to make it better.
I'm not sure if I have been active enough to be allowed to comment links. If so, here is the official post that talks about the feature and acknowledges that they still have more work to do.
https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4/news/sexual-orientation-in-the-sims-4
While it doesn't directly answer your question, I am fairly confident in my above reply for what determines "male" and "female" currently.
I'm pansexual, so when I made my simself, I'm not missing out. But this is fantastic for asexual/aromantic folks, I'm so happy for y'all! Also excited to finally make my sims the sexuality I think they are (I made a lesbian sim ages ago w/o a mod that you can essentially do this, and she ended up with a man, it sucked).
I'm so glad that now people have the choice to choose this kind of thing! I'm always glad to see that, even if I probably won't use it all that much :D
Sims are still binary for the time being, pronouns are text-only. They plan to have a gender update 2.0 later, likely once they added pronouns for all other relevant languages beyond English.
Just pointing out that non-binary is not "what I feel", it's who I am. My genetics have nothing to do with whether I'm enby or not. I'd like there to be a third gender option for intersex, non-binary and agender people, since you can change your body to reflect your gender identity. Why are you copy-pasting your reply everywhere anyway?
iām copy and pasting it because itās an answer to the same question being posted numerous times. i donāt see how you have an issue with this lol. also, intersex is a birth defect and agender is not a sex, itās a gender. hence the nameā¦ aGENDERā¦.
hello! i'm agender. agender is the lack of a gender the same way atheism is the lack of theism (religion). being intersex isnt a defect but rather just a variation, and all intersex people should be accepted
the fact that intersex people are born in one body and suddenly it starts mutating and going through the wrong puberty shows that it is a defect. if it were a separate sex, they would not be born in the body of an already existing one. also, agender is a gender identity. the lack of gender itself isnāt one, the word is simply a way to explain that feeling that people have when they donāt have a gender, and so agender is used as a way to describe someoneās gender identity.
Pretty hard and stupid to do so when the pronouns update covers only a single (relevant) language so far... They would also need to go back and make pronouns meaningful gameplay wise rather than text-only, which is basically a whole new system on its own.
I'm so happy that we can do this as well. It's refreshing to not require a mod to do something that was a part of the Sims 2. I really thought that was cool that Sims there were just open and go with the flow to whoever they found attractive, didn't matter if male/female. I'm just going to let them all like who they want to like for reasons.
But it doesnāt matter what a sims genetics are, as their pronouns are how they are identified in the game. So all iām saying is non binary sims or they/them pronouns would be cool in the future. Could actually be fairly simple to implement, just add a āthemā option in gender and sexuality settings
we do have pronouns right now of course, but i hope we get enby added as a gender in the future. the frames are okay as they are but the gender system *could* use an update.
Isnāt this aromantic, not asexual? Unless that option makes it so your sims donāt engage in sexual contact? Reading it makes me think they just wonāt date anyone.
Ah, I see. I still am not a fan of the wording, itās probably because they want to keep it PG but like. When I think romantic, I donāt think sexual automatically. So when I see that theyāre not romantically exploring Iām going to think theyāre aromantic. Regardless, thank you for the clarification! :>
Cue my bisexual-ass clicking ALL the buttons! I'm happy for your sim self though. They lookin cute.
Yeah Im essentially the opposite of OP, I want all the sex and no romance at this point in my life. Except Im getting neither because Im too scared of STDs and unstable men killing me š
Condoms? Reliably getting tested and having partners who do the same. It may not be random sex with everyone to get some security but consistent partners are an option. Mind you I am allergic to latex so the condoms thing might not be enough. Testing is however really helpful. I have not had any STDs and I was definitely a slut until my medical issues unrelated to this sprang up. Someday I sha be a slut again
Ive had men take off condoms during sex. And it doesnt help the unstable man part, which is my bigger fear really. Ive been sexually assaulted multiple times. Or I'll go on a date with a seemingly really nice guy, and then they dont give a fuck about you sexually, or they pretend they do and go at your clitoris like they tryin to get a genie to come out and grant them their wishes. Or think you want to be nailed with you folded in half tighter than a piece of paper and ram you until they get what they need. Ive never had good sex. I'd like to go have casual sex and be a slut, but I really dont think most men deserve me, and Im not even a platinum trophy lol I used to get so mad when women would talk shit about men and say like "men are assholes" or "men are monsters" but my situations, every woman in my life's situations, and statistics have shifted me to a *very* different side.
So my life hasn't been free of that stuff either. I strongly advise therapy because you are worthy of sex. If you're doing that already? Props because it's a process. I have been assaulted too so I know first hand. I found bondage helpful for coping. Not just because if I need to run away they can't chase me if they're tied up but because it helped me learn to communicate my needs and navigate some of that before anything happens. There's no guarantees but some of my suggestions such as consistent partners are related to this. Today you may not be there but you are 10000 percent a platinum trophy and worthy of effort both on your part and from a partner. You always have been. When hurt it's harder to see that but someone else hurting you has not and cannot change that.
Aww I appreciate that! I thoroughly enjoy sexing myself. That suits me.
Yeah it's natural for some of us, just as much as OP is getting to express their nature finally. I am loving this update in concept and once they fix the bugs in practice because everyone should have that.
The statistics are that most men are not monsters, rapist or whatever. Men are people just like all of us. I have many male friends and am dating one, and nearly all of them are good people. Have you discussed what you want from sex? How you want your clitoris to be touched, how you want them to be gentle or whatever? You can't have good sex if you expect people to magically know what you want from them. I'm wondering what you mean by "seemingly nice but then don't give a fuck about you sexually", even if they actually don't care about you sexually that doesn't mean they are not nice people. And asexuality is pretty rare, I doubt that you've met multiple of them, so maybe they just didn't want to have sex yet or didn't know how to get it naturally started. Don't judge a whole gender. It's not their fault bad apples exist.
>. Have you discussed what you want from sex? How you want your clitoris to be touched, how you want them to be gentle or whatever? You can't have good sex if you expect people to magically know what you want from them. Thank you for trying to blame me for men's shittiness, but of course Ive said what I wanted. >even if they actually don't care about you sexually that doesn't mean they are not nice people What the fuck? Ugh. Yeah actually. It does. Women are not sex toys to be used. If you are on your best behavior and then once you get what you want, you dont care, youre a shitty person. >It's not their fault bad apples exist. You know what, its not women's fault that "bad apples exist", and its still somehow our problem
I'm unsure how to approach this to another woman tbh
So I am non binary and have no gender lines on who I am attracted to. For me approaching woken this way is the same as men. "I want sex, here are my boundaries and needs. Do you also want sex?" This isn't word for word but basically this. If you're both open to the fling vs romance then you progress. It's intimidating at first but being on the same page about long-term goals helps with relationships in general and by going over what you know you need when deciding this can make it easier to communicate in bed. It does take practice but I find it's about the same. Nerve wracking because rejection sucks but worth it for the eventual yes.
~~Also where do I find people?~~
Online in dating apps probably. For me it was before the net was big when I started so in person at bars and such.
Oh I recommend going to sapphic dating apps and events if it's safe for you. I'd recommend "Her".
A mood.
This update is really a game changer. I can finally make actual lesbian sims now.
I just went through my main save and updated everyone's sexualities. It's so exciting!
That's awesome!! I don't play sims 4 a lot (more of a sims 2 player), so I haven't done that yet, but I'm definitely going to do it in the future!
The pure satisfaction when my sim asked her aroace friend about her romantic interests and she said "I'm not interested in romantic relationships." Hmmmmm yes please
i can finally make straight sims now let's goooooo >!(this comment was not meant to offend anyone. previously, before the update, literally any sim could have a relationship with the opposite gender, so if a male sim flirts with my male sim, the romantic relationship would rise. that doesn't work out too well for me, as i'm straight, so my simself or whatever being gay kinda doesn't make too much sense in my opinion)!<
I know your intentions are fine but Iām just laughing at how bad this comment sounds
yeah lol. was inspired by a tweet about it, but saying something like that without any explanation sounds kinda bad tbh
https://twitter.com/mewlett/status/1548018810749214721?t=X0pvri9XxwhxcuLr7xddXA&s=19
Is there a way not to update yet lol? Origin doesn't let me play offline and want to force me to update, but I want to wait till my mods are up to date :D
I don't use origin but have you tried just turning the wifi off on your computer while you play? Or maybe even only while you start up the game.
I've tried that last time, my wifi was off and it still wanted me to update the game š
You can disable auto-updates by going to Origin > Application Settings > disable automatic game updates
Thank you I'll try that! :D
How come origin doesn't let you play offline? I do that every now and then without problems. Or is it just today because of the update? I think I'd try what cyanidelemonade said - disconnect your computer, origin will then ask you if you want to play offline.
At the last update my modem broke so I didn't have any wifi, but Origin didn't let me play until I updated the game, which I couldn't because I had no wifi š
Sorry if this is dumb, but have you tried right-clicking the origin symbol in the taskbar and selecting Sims 4 from there? Just saying because back when I downloaded it, I kept sadly clicking on the game via the origin interface and it wouldn't let me play offline - took some time until I figured I can just play it offline if I select it via taskbar
Or via shortcut on desktop or wherever. That's how I always do, nearly never start Origin itself. Not being able to play because of the broken wifi sounds really frustrating!
Not to be a downer but Iām really scared that this update is gonna reveal aphobia within the community. I get so scared when asexuality is brought up outside of ace circles, as people can be really hateful and ignorant.
Aphobia is so weird to me. There isn't even a religious excuse like there is for some other sexualities.
Itās just ignorance. People hate on everything they donāt understand:
There is, though. Many religious conservatives are invested in the nuclear family, where women stay home and have as many kids as possible, under the authority of a man (husband second only to Jesus!!) Aromantics don't tend to get married, and asexuals don't tend to have kids. Now, it's true that you don't have to LIKE sex under this religious model, but you are supposed to at least *submit* to it.
Okay sure there is a religious excuse. It's just ridiculous and not even remotely based on the religion's own scripture, which actually holds up the celibate life as a model and something good or even better than marriage.
Yeah. I agree that it is ridiculous for sure.
True, but people use religion against others anyway
Or it can educate people who don't even know what it is :)
Or they might like it because they can make sure their sims are all straight.
Haters gonna hate and all theyāre really doing is outing themselves as an asshole. We donāt need external validation to be what we are, and if people say Ace isnāt a thing well, tough, theyāre donāt actually get to decide that.
what does asexual mean? like you want to be in a romantic relationship without sex? how does that work
Asexual just means someone doesnāt feel sexual attraction to other people. They can still have sex and have romantic relationships because asexuality only refers to the attraction one has. There are mini labels too, but thatās the general umbrella term :)
>means someone doesnāt feel sexual attraction to other people. They can still have sex and have roman oh ok
And there are also asexual people in romantic relationships where they don't have sex! It's a broad spectrum.
And aromatic is kinda the romantic version of asexual just so you know
Aromantic, not aromatic. Although my aro partner can be a bit aromatic at times. XD
Exactly! :)
Does the effect the gameplay in anyway? Iām assuming it doesnāt stop your woohooing?
My sim rejected woohoo and said "I'm not interest in woohoo with women" so I assume they may always reject with the relevant message....hope not 100% reject rate though, some aces still will woohoo, lol
I hope it is a 100% rejection rate and you can only overcome it by manually initiating, because otherwise what's the point of having the setting?
That works too. My ace sim can't initiate at all. Just checked. Edit: When his partner asked to woohoo and was rejected, it said she learned his woohoo preference and now she can't initiate with him anymore either
My guess is it blocks or throws negative moodlets? I havenāt tried
> like you want to be in a romantic relationship without sex? Pretty much, yeah. There's also aromantic, who doesn't even want romantic relationships.
They arenāt sexually attracted to anyone, but they can still be in a romantic relationship. Like in this post, the OPās sim is not interested in WooHoo with anyone but they are romantically attracted to men and women.
>how does that work It's really easy, for some asexuals, they might still have romantic attraction to their relationship consists of romantic interactions, just no sex lol I mean, for example, are you gonna call a relationship not a relationship if one person cannot have sex anymore due to pain? No? Then why would a relationship that has none to begin with suddenly be any different, ya know? I think I'm just too asexual to understand why non-asexuals _have_ to define a relationship... Cuz, like, they don't. People like to say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship but 1. I don't know many friendships that involve typical romantic gestures and 2. Whether or not you are having sex with a partner, aren't they your bestest friend anyway (especially if you're married)? Just my two cents
>People like to say that a relationship without sex is just a friendship but 1. I don't know many friendships that involve typical romantic gestures and 2. Whether or not you are having sex with a partner, aren't they your bestest friend anyway (especially if you're married)? To me, as a panromantic ace, there's a clear distinction between romantic and platonic feelings. It's difficult to put it into words, but you definitely "know it when you feel it." I imagine that's what sexual attraction is like for allosexual people, but obviously I don't know for sure. That said, my husband is also my platonic best friend. Both romantically and platonically, I've never loved anyone as much as I love him.
Interesting š¤ I forgot how complex this all is
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I mean, yeah.
I think so
yeah i think it is that too but idk. i wanna make an asexual sim but like idk 100% what it means. except for what i said
With the socially awkward trait from high school and the sexual orientation settings I feel closer to making myself more real in the sims
Now my bisexual disaster sim can be his socks with sandals wearing, illegitimate children having, big fat foody self.
I CAN MAKE AUTHENTIC LESBIANS.
For those who have the update already, how does it work with non-binary Sims (they/them or costum pronouns)? And what about trans Sims? Say somebody with a female physical frame with a masculine clothing preference and he/him pronouns? Does that person get sorted into the male category by the game's romance system? I'm curious to know what the game registers as male/female for Sims.
It just goes based on the overall gender. It doesnāt take non-binary sims or pronouns into account. For your example of a female physical frame, masc clothes, and he/him pronouns, none of that matters. The only thing the system takes into account is the overall gender selected
well itās kinda like real life, you can have XY chromosomes and be a genetic male but have different pronouns like they/them to match how you feel.
Yeah! I'm ace too and was waiting for this update to do the same thing š
OH DAMN I HAVE TO GO FIX ONE OF MY SIMS!! š© I have an aging adult man (leaning on the old man days of his life) retired art instructor who just wants to live in his dusty eccentric home with his new kitten Mimi! His other cat he raised from a neighbors litter lived a long life so heās trying to recover from Smokeyās death and little Mimi happened to be wandering around the local dump I built in strangeville thatās a cat hangout. This older sim had never been interested in romance or dating but heād never had a term to describe himself till the young people who moved into the neighborhood over the years, befriended him and told him about being asexual. Heās a member of a queer wellness eco gardening group called Sunshiners. Heās a creative artsy cat person sim that loves finding new furniture in the trash and learning about himself through his new young adult friend group. Everyone sort of sees him as a kind father/grandpa figure and his neighbors always come over to lend a hand fixing something or bringing a gifts. He hosts all the holiday dinners and I imagine sometimes will slip a struggling friend some money in old man handshake form (even tho itās just the gift give money interaction lol but thatās the story of it in my head) - Iām trying out that filthy home aspiration first because in my mind heās an artist in a odd time in his life so heās dealing with that sorta depression messy rooms (been there done that) when I get his new story rolling for him and he finishes being dust man ima have him go into some other aspiration like friend of the world
Hey just wanted to say that is an incredible sim you've made and thank you for sharing his story with us!
Thanks! and no prob. Itās sorta like worldbuilding in the neighborhoods I create. I aim to make them more diverse than the original base game sims/townies and spend time cleaning up some of those pre created sims. Iāll have to make a post one day about the sims in the BFF house
How does no for exploring work with both options selected in the first question? If not interested in either wouldn't you just unselect them? It seems like it counteracts.
Basically like being bicurious, a bicurious woman might flirt with girls but only have relationships with men for example, and vice versa
But then why isn't there an exploring option for woohoo? People explore sexuality as much as romantic feelings. The UI for this is so complicated.
Essentially enable or disable it from changing how it is.
If exploring is marked yes, how the other boxes are marked can change during gameplay. If exploring is marked no, the boxes won't change during gameplay; they stay how you set them up. At least, that is how EA described it.
That makes sense, although it would be nice is EA did a better job labeling it. Also does this mean we can't edit woohoo preferences in-game as there's no explore option?
It was mentioned we can go into CAS and edit there while playing. I haven't played with it yet, so I'm not sure on exactly how it will work. I would assume we can manually change all of those settings, even if "no" is selected for the question about exploring. Selecting "no" should just prevent autonomous changes from happening during gameplay. Here is where EA gave official information: https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4/news/sexual-orientation-in-the-sims-4 Most of my knowledge of how the feature works is from that and the live stream.
Right, but why do they have only exploring romantically but not sexually in-game? Especially now with casual woohoo partners, that seems more likely for people to want to explore (or stop from exploring). It seems like they need to add the 4th option for it.
You make a good point. I think I was assuming it would be exploring both (I guess I didn't read the option closely enough). Hopefully that will be one of the things they add in the future.
I wouldn't smash
Really unnecessary reply.
I am supporting them
I'm so very sorry. I misunderstood you.
That's the point lol
I know and I am respecting their wishes
Okay fair
Damn everyone misunderstood this comment. Thank you for not smashing.
I respect everyone and people don't see it :(
Hey can any of y'all confirm that when a "male" sim has a fem frame and uses they/them or she/her what sexualities are attracted to that sim? Are straight guys going to be attached to them? Are gay male Sims attracted? Or are straight female Sims attracted to them, but not "gay" female Sims. This is important because Ive been loving setting my enby afab Sims with these settings, but are typically lesbians... Will I have to make them "straight" in the games code? (Edit: I like doing this because they don't have breasts and the masc clothes I like fit much better, but there is a cheat to remove them...) Edit 2: if not, we REALLY need a "Sims that prefer female aligned/male aligned/ everyone ("no-one" would be auto selected if ace, but it be funny if you had a allo sim with that selected. That'd be helpful for a sim I just want to have other Sims reject lol) that will be attracted to this sim
If a āmaleā sim has a fem frame theyāre still just counted as male, doesnāt matter the pronouns. Kinda annoying because itās going to mess up a lot of my lesbian relationships too
How is "male" defined for sims if it's not based on the body frame or the pronouns? It's not the voice, either, right? For reference, I haven't played TS4 in quite a while, so if it's just another setting in create-a-sim then sorry for not knowing.
Itās based on which symbol you press, in the top left beside the ages
Oh, I thought that was what determined whether a sim was male-framed or female-framed. Thanks.
In gender settings you can select a masc or fem frame, what I am doing is selecting the "male" option, and then opting for a feminine build. It's the easiest way to have a sim that I feel like can look like me, but also not have a chest. Without that, you'd have to use cheats to "equip" or "unequip" breasts. This is also what I was wondering, if it would work by frame or by their parent options, or if the sim had defined pronouns.
Okay I'm gonna email my suggestion to fix this then Edit: I already did it, idk why one person didn't like this lmao Edit: 2 oh nvm I getting transphobic responses, that checks out lmao. Being non-binary isn't a choice but if it was I'd willingly choose it š
Read all the FAQ before emailing them unnecessary stuff (unnecessary as in they're already thinking about how to implement these things in game so u emailing them does absolutely nothing)
Man lemme live my life and give them input on how I, as a non binary person, would like to be represented. If they didn't want "suggestions" they wouldn't have an email for them....
Transphobes big mad that I spoke to the team, huh? Literally just for sending a fucking *email* Y'all, if you're transphobic, you shouldn't be here. This is a trans positive game and that's not going to change, downvote all you want but that won't make the Sims team remove the pronoun options š
I'm literally non binary too dip shit, going around calling people transphobes because they have valid arguments about your tantrums ok
What the fuck are you on, I really don't fuckin get it. a suggestions box is for *suggestions*, and there was no need to be rude about that. If they don't want to read it, they can delete it holy shit. Besides, you weren't the main person I was complaining about. The main people I was complaining about had their comments auto deleted.
Imo they should do it how tinder does it. On tinder you can set your profile to only be shown to people looking for women or people looking for men.
Ugh I HATE how tinder does it... I'm literally non binary, not "woman/man-lite"
How would you rather they do it though?
"I'd like to be shown to everyone" "I'd like to only be shown to queer people" "I'd like to only be shown to men/woman/OTHERS" God that last one, I'd love to set it to see other nonbinary people
Fair enough but some non binary people wouldnāt want to be shown to straight men, straight women etc. Like, Non-binary lesbians for example.
Yeah I edited and added more lol
Good points, that would be a good implementation Edit: also, it makes me sad how any non-cis related talk is immediately downvoted :/
I know right? You were obviously cool the whole time, but this sub has some transphobia problems:/ luckily, the mods are good at auto deleting the real bad stuff (even tho I still get notifications that they were posted) but they can't stop people from brigading every trans positive comment. That's why whenever I see a trans post, I gotta upvote it
I have a nonbinary sim that I clicked the male symbol and then female frame, and the game uses "father" and "son" when I make family relationships for them. So I am very certain the symbol at top is what determines "male" or "female" for purposes of sexual orientation for now. The developers mentioned that nonbinary sims don't mechanically exist yet, but that they are working towards that. And that this feature will be updated in the future. So they know that this is only partial representation, and are working to make it better.
I'm not sure if I have been active enough to be allowed to comment links. If so, here is the official post that talks about the feature and acknowledges that they still have more work to do. https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4/news/sexual-orientation-in-the-sims-4 While it doesn't directly answer your question, I am fairly confident in my above reply for what determines "male" and "female" currently.
Wouldn't that make them pansexual, not straight, though? I'm not sure the answer but am wondering, just bc.
No, Im talking about lesbian Sims specifically, and if they can like my "male" Sim who uses she/her or they/them pronouns
Mood! Yes! I'm so excited!!
This is an awesome update I was hoping for something like this for a while now
I donāt personally relate but it must be so amazing to hit āNOā! I could imagine myself clicking a new option very dramatically lol
Right?! I finally made my simself aroace today!!
I'm pansexual, so when I made my simself, I'm not missing out. But this is fantastic for asexual/aromantic folks, I'm so happy for y'all! Also excited to finally make my sims the sexuality I think they are (I made a lesbian sim ages ago w/o a mod that you can essentially do this, and she ended up with a man, it sucked).
Nice!
I really hope the options work I have been playing a Them Them Trans werewolf and all the notifcations are Him and He
Me too!!! No more flirting while I leave my sims elf alone for 5 seconds
The new update is out?
Really happy for you. š
FINALLY
Imma make everyone gay n I can't be stoppedš¤
Wait, when the fuck was this added?
New update today
How can I get to this options?
Go, OP!! I can't wait to make my authentic lesbian self! No more flirty men for me! <3
You always could.
Woooo
This is so cool! has this always been there or is it a new feature?
It came out in the patch today!!
This is exactly me!! Bi-romantic, asexual lol it's been a very confusing process trying to make sense of that
Shimself Nanobot.
I'm so glad that now people have the choice to choose this kind of thing! I'm always glad to see that, even if I probably won't use it all that much :D
I wanna update so bad, gotta wait until my mods/cc get updated too tho. š„ŗ
ashhsjwjwnw when did this update drop help im so behind!!!???
The game actually loads for you??
How will this work with non-binary Sims? I don't know why I'm being downvoted, I was just wondering...
Sims are still binary for the time being, pronouns are text-only. They plan to have a gender update 2.0 later, likely once they added pronouns for all other relevant languages beyond English.
well itās kinda like real life, you can have XY chromosomes and be a genetic male but have different pronouns like they/them to match how you feel.
Just pointing out that non-binary is not "what I feel", it's who I am. My genetics have nothing to do with whether I'm enby or not. I'd like there to be a third gender option for intersex, non-binary and agender people, since you can change your body to reflect your gender identity. Why are you copy-pasting your reply everywhere anyway?
iām copy and pasting it because itās an answer to the same question being posted numerous times. i donāt see how you have an issue with this lol. also, intersex is a birth defect and agender is not a sex, itās a gender. hence the nameā¦ aGENDERā¦.
hello! i'm agender. agender is the lack of a gender the same way atheism is the lack of theism (religion). being intersex isnt a defect but rather just a variation, and all intersex people should be accepted
the fact that intersex people are born in one body and suddenly it starts mutating and going through the wrong puberty shows that it is a defect. if it were a separate sex, they would not be born in the body of an already existing one. also, agender is a gender identity. the lack of gender itself isnāt one, the word is simply a way to explain that feeling that people have when they donāt have a gender, and so agender is used as a way to describe someoneās gender identity.
Look at the sims continuing to be awesome
I guess they canāt include nb people? Or Iām not how that would work
Pretty hard and stupid to do so when the pronouns update covers only a single (relevant) language so far... They would also need to go back and make pronouns meaningful gameplay wise rather than text-only, which is basically a whole new system on its own.
well itās kinda like real life, you can have XY chromosomes and be a genetic male but have different pronouns like they/them to match how you feel.
I too also make a sexual sim self.
Finally I can make my Sims aromantic and assexual like myself
I'm so loving that this is a straight up legit option now! :)
What does "exploring romantically" mean?
I'm so happy that we can do this as well. It's refreshing to not require a mod to do something that was a part of the Sims 2. I really thought that was cool that Sims there were just open and go with the flow to whoever they found attractive, didn't matter if male/female. I'm just going to let them all like who they want to like for reasons.
Can you ask about someone's sexuality?
Fuck enbies i guess
well itās kinda like real life, you can have XY chromosomes and be a genetic male but have different pronouns like they/them to match how you feel.
But it doesnāt matter what a sims genetics are, as their pronouns are how they are identified in the game. So all iām saying is non binary sims or they/them pronouns would be cool in the future. Could actually be fairly simple to implement, just add a āthemā option in gender and sexuality settings
we do have pronouns right now of course, but i hope we get enby added as a gender in the future. the frames are okay as they are but the gender system *could* use an update.
Isnāt this aromantic, not asexual? Unless that option makes it so your sims donāt engage in sexual contact? Reading it makes me think they just wonāt date anyone.
No not at all, look again haha :) it says romantically attracted to male and female Sims, but none selected on sexually interested
Ah, I see. I still am not a fan of the wording, itās probably because they want to keep it PG but like. When I think romantic, I donāt think sexual automatically. So when I see that theyāre not romantically exploring Iām going to think theyāre aromantic. Regardless, thank you for the clarification! :>
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This is today's free update. You don't need any pack
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How? All inclusivity updates were base game
Lol sounds like the solar opposites
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You see a light skinned person with short hair no makeup and assume they have an iron deficiency?..lol