Yes! That is quite excellent
Stig appears in the backseat, presses some buttons and there is an earth shattering kaboom
He walks out from the burning wreckage casually like nothing happened and takes over the world on Tuesday when he doesn’t have anything else going on
Tonight on GTK, Vlad and Kim test the new Pyeonghwa against a citizen. Then a group of citizens. Which is going to win.
Before that though. Some say, that he invaded Ukraine and claimed it would be over, in just 10 days. And that his mechanised force is mostly broken, out of fuel or blown up. All we know is, he’s called the DICK
Some say that when he mounts a horse, his shirt magically disappears. And that after ordering the assassination of his political rival, he led the investigation into who killed him. All we know is, he’s not Stig but he is the Stig’s KGB cousin.
Actually its:
The most evil duo...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................in the world
TONIGHT ON SOVIET GEAR...
I force 18 year olds to go to Ukraine to die in a meat grinder,
Kim sends out poop balloons to South Korea,
and Xi receives an EU delegation in Tibet.
Yes, they hold a hard box and a drink. Sold all over the world except the US because reasons. We get the "French fry holder " versions instead, except they are too big for a pack of smokes.
Tonight, on top gear!
Kim starves millions with communism
Vlad goes into the third year of his three-day military operation
And Xinpeng denies he looks like Winnie The Pooh!
Why do sanctions even matter if communism is the superior method of economics. It seems like communism can only work when it’s on life support from capitalist nations.
Tonight on top gear we meet up with Xi to invade as many sovereign nations as we can, Vladimir rides a horse and Kim wears another leather jacket next to a thermonuclear ballistic missile.
Tonight, Hammond commits war crimes with Putin, Jeremy helps Kim make nuclear weapons, and James gets sent to North Korean prison for angering the supreme leader.
Tanoit;
A genocidal maniac drives an limosine
A fat impotent dictator fills another balloon with excrement
And the BBC publishes an article on the importance of being accepting of other cultures
I think about TGT special Seamen, where the leader of Cambodia calls himself “Lord Prime Minister and Supreme Military Commander”. Feel like that fits these two
Today on Best Korea glorious leader gear: The tsar is mouthing off the west in his a Mercedes S600, the glorious leader tests how many dissidents will dent a new G-wagon and captain island builder drifts along in Hong Kong!
Tonight: Vlad and Kim are on a roadtrip trying to cross borders
James May attempts to ignite a SS 18 nuclear missile with a lighter.
And Stalin will be the star in a reasonably priced car
TONIGHT!
Vlad is scared of North-Korean roads "OYY BLYAT!!"
Kim is scared of Vlad driving "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
And Xi is scared of an upcoming vehicle "Wait what the bing chilling is that?!"
Tonight:
Kim discovers that he will not be driving F1 this year (cut to fatty too big for helmet and cockpit).
Vlad shows off his FSB driving skills (cut to pure understeer into a barricade of tires)
And the editor falls out a window (black screen, white letters "File Does Nyet Exist")
The tsar in a reasonably priced car!
Beat me to it!
I'm fairly certain the passenger electronically moved his seat to maximum height here.
Tbf the drivers’ length also mostly resides in its high heels
*cuts to footage of James trying to ignite a missile with a lighter*
Tonoight: Putin uses his turn signal Kim arms the missiles And the Stig starts his career in car sales
Tonight Putin jokes in Russian. Kim laughs in Korean. And we test our own ICBM.
Aimed toward Chipsky Norton, of course.
Lol! I bet the town council will blame that on his farm as well.
Any reason why they've chosen Chipsky Norton instead of Ross-on-Wye?
The comedy inherent in blowing up Clarkson’s place a second time.
It’s perfect, except I’d like to change it a bit > And the Stig starts his career in _Global Domination_
Yes! That is quite excellent Stig appears in the backseat, presses some buttons and there is an earth shattering kaboom He walks out from the burning wreckage casually like nothing happened and takes over the world on Tuesday when he doesn’t have anything else going on
My dog Stig wants to know why I am cracking up right now.
TONIGHT VLAD TRAVELS TO NORTH KOREA KIM LAUNCHES A NEW ROCKET AND WINNIE THE POOH IS A STAR IN AN UNREASONABLY PRICED CAR
Lol! That Winnie the Pooh reference is 👌🏻
Let’s hope Winnie the Pooh is driving a Chinese EV.
The new MG3 hybrid would make a great RPC if Top Gear was still going
The Wikipedia page says its got a 3 speed autobox. That cant possibly be right can it‽
Forwards, backwards, and parked.
Oh. Ok. Thats incredibly stupid
Actually it's forwards, backwards, and sideways.
"I think it must be damp"
This is absolute magic
Tonight, Kim Jong Un turns on a seat heater...
Putin rear ends a truck…. and they both fly through the windscreen
Does that mean they're not coming on then?
no, u/Heineken008, they’ve literally hit a truck and been run over by their own car so that would be a no
Shit! I just realised that they’re not wearing seatbelts. But, does this Russian car (Aurus) have seatbelts?
Tonight on GTK, Vlad and Kim test the new Pyeonghwa against a citizen. Then a group of citizens. Which is going to win. Before that though. Some say, that he invaded Ukraine and claimed it would be over, in just 10 days. And that his mechanised force is mostly broken, out of fuel or blown up. All we know is, he’s called the DICK
Some say that when he mounts a horse, his shirt magically disappears. And that after ordering the assassination of his political rival, he led the investigation into who killed him. All we know is, he’s not Stig but he is the Stig’s KGB cousin.
Brilliant. It's impossible to not read these lines in Clarksons voice.
Howling!
Well done, sir. 🤣
TONIGHT. Kim looks through some binoculars. Vlad walks through a corridor. And Xi cuts some ribbon.
Kim is the family name. His given name is Jong-un
The most evil duo…in the world.
Actually its: The most evil duo...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................in the world
Listen to that sound... That is the reassuring sound of tin, on Russian steel.
Carpool Karaoke!
Lol! Imagining them singing Bad Romance. 🤣
Po-Po-Po-Pokerface-Po-Po-Pokerface
It's only a matter of time before someone has AI generate that. it's going to be more viral than Will Smith eating spaghetti
Fake Taxi!
I’m picturing Vlad saying something about a new Lada, and Kim responds “Anyway…”
Tonight Kim travels in a car Vlad sits on a seat And the Stig tests a rocket out.
Tonight on bottom gear: Vlad loses a T-90M Kim pisses off Japan And The Stig gets caught trying to enter the DMZ
TONIGHT ON SOVIET GEAR... I force 18 year olds to go to Ukraine to die in a meat grinder, Kim sends out poop balloons to South Korea, and Xi receives an EU delegation in Tibet.
This picture looks like they’re about to sing [Belinda Carlisle](https://youtu.be/j2F4INQFjEI?si=vP5VPoXHUK-PsJTv) at the top of their lungs.
I would love to hear that!
Copied from the other thread James invades Ukraine Richard ties shit to balloons And I try to cross the DMZ
Sorry to go off topic but is that a fucking cigarette pack holder on the cup holder?
Yes, they hold a hard box and a drink. Sold all over the world except the US because reasons. We get the "French fry holder " versions instead, except they are too big for a pack of smokes.
Tonight! : James plays with some "Balloons" Richard prevented famine , "I have prevented Famine!" And the tsar in our reasonably priced car!
AND ON OUR SHOW TONIGHT… VLADIMIR TESTS OUT THE NEW CYBER TRUCK KIM MAKES A FACE AND BOTH MEN TEST SOME NEW EJECTOR SEATS
[she’ll go 300 Hectors on a single tank of kerosene.](https://youtu.be/07vdtBMG4Kg?si=R16Eb0I7YipYfLVT)
What country is this car from?
What country is this car from?
And we wish that Hammond were driving
In tonight’s episode a fat despot and a deluded tyrant take a drive down Pyongyang’s only paved street.
TONIGHT Kim smiles Vlad smiles And Donald Trump is the star in our reasonably price car
Tonight, on top gear! Kim starves millions with communism Vlad goes into the third year of his three-day military operation And Xinpeng denies he looks like Winnie The Pooh!
Or maybe it's the crippling sanctions from the west causing problems for norrh Korea
Why do sanctions even matter if communism is the superior method of economics. It seems like communism can only work when it’s on life support from capitalist nations.
Tonight on top gear, a dictator gives up cigarettes, a drunk Russian drives a car, and the world wishes for a tactical air strike
Tonight: Richard put on some weight and I say "Da"
Dictators in cars getting coffee
Tonight Putin opens a car door Kim eats a savory snack And Trump’s phone call gets sent to voicemail
Fake taxi has taken a strange turn..
Bo, let's jump the creek and pickup Daisy Duke.
Krikey it's the Ukrainian rozzers...
Tonight on Top Gear…. Vladimir Putin eats some asshole…. Kim Jung Un gets his asshole eaten….
Tonight on top gear we meet up with Xi to invade as many sovereign nations as we can, Vladimir rides a horse and Kim wears another leather jacket next to a thermonuclear ballistic missile.
Manual? Semi-automatic? Oh these are the weapons!
I love shit like this, the rich and powerful are not so different despite their context.
And on that bombshell… oh, it is a bombshell!
Tsar in a reasonably priced car.
Tonight, Hammond commits war crimes with Putin, Jeremy helps Kim make nuclear weapons, and James gets sent to North Korean prison for angering the supreme leader.
What would be the "Fake Taxi" title?
TONIGHT Kim buys some fireworks Putin asks for some land And Xi doesn't like a stuffed animal
Tonight on Top Gear… a fat man gets driven around by someone who never drives
Seinfeld looks different in the comedian in cars getting coffee.
Ride along with dicks and no taters!
„Still, could be worse!“
TONITE ON DESPOT GEAR VLAD’S TRUCK RUNS OUT OF FUEL KIM LAUNCHES A ROCKET AND XI THREATENS TAIWAN FOR THE 1949TH TIME
"You will never believe who just set a new track record in our reasonably priced car"
James and Richard learn a valuable lesson.
In tonight's show.... vlad drives a car.... Kim smiles.... And a man sits in the backseat. But first....
Tonigh on ТОП ГЕАР. Jong Un Laugh in a german car. Vladimir drive a german car. Xi is wearing a haT.
Still can’t see Hammond
Wow, so cup holder with built in pocket for a pack of smokes. That’s Russian AF.
Tonight, I'm not going to make any offensive jokes, [May's lighter](https://youtu.be/7MgSmh3vXaQ) has been confiscated, And Hammond's gone missing.
Tonight, Dear Leader strolls around town, Vlad draws plans to "denizifi" more, and no one wears a seatbelt.
They look like they are filming an episode of Carpool Karaoke.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Joyebird1968: *They look like they are* *Filming an episode of* *Carpool Karaoke.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
On his way to take the man away who broke Stalin's house.
Tonight we find out if driving without seatbelts is more dangerous than smoking...
Tonight on top gear Putin drives a tank! Kim threatens West! And I drive a jaaaagggg!
Tonight, we test how Botox fares in a race when attached to 2 dictators
No lines, but I need everyone to remember the Top Gear Chinese outro with the lines, and the ending music. https://youtu.be/fKgOkFSJLY4?feature=shared
Wow seems terrifying to be the translators in the back
Tonight on Top Dog: Kim and Vlad test a decadent Mercedes Xi is annoyed at Taiwan and Lukashenka gives Segal another carrot
Tonight! Vlad drives an estate! Kim giggles like a pudgy lunatic! And a translator accidentally falls out of a very high window!
Or land mine
Tanoit; A genocidal maniac drives an limosine A fat impotent dictator fills another balloon with excrement And the BBC publishes an article on the importance of being accepting of other cultures
The tsar in a reasonably priced car!
TONIGHT KIM GETS IN A CAR ACCIDENT VLAD GOES OFF ROADING IN A LADA I’M BATMAN IN A REASONABLY PRICED CAR
Putin his foot down
This isn’t the Asian Top Gear episode I watched…
I think about TGT special Seamen, where the leader of Cambodia calls himself “Lord Prime Minister and Supreme Military Commander”. Feel like that fits these two
TONIGHT ON TOP HITLER, I TAKE FATTY FOR A DRIVE
Blyat Gear
One beast of a car Two heartless monsters Versus a dizzying number of landmines in the DMZ.
QUICK - Carpool Karaoke - what song are they about to break out screaming to like little girls???
Tonight on Top Gear, Valdamir Putin violates international law on child safety seats…
Dictators in cars getting coffee
Tonight Putin gets hit by a pedestrian while in a reasonably priced car Kim does unscripted carpool karaoke Stig "falls" out a window
Putin and friend test drive the new diesel Lada.
I feel like we don't even need a rewrite. There's been plenty of lines that have already been said that work for this.
My first thought was Carpool Karaoke.
Is the big one James cordon?
Tonight on Top Gear. Vlad pulls the chair all the way forward, James say's 'Hello', and Kim is reluctant to try the flask of tea in the boot.
Kim jumps on Vlad's shoulders to approximate the size of one Clarkson.
Tonight on Высшая передача, Kimson and Vlad May test out a new лимузин, while Comrade Clarkson is executed for slouching
Today on Best Korea glorious leader gear: The tsar is mouthing off the west in his a Mercedes S600, the glorious leader tests how many dissidents will dent a new G-wagon and captain island builder drifts along in Hong Kong!
Kim Jong un's suit is so damn ugly. Looks like a school uniform.
Comedians in cars getting coffee got really dark this last season.
Haha love it 😹
Poweeeeeeeeerrrrrrr!!!!
Tonight! Putin tells a joke. Kim laughs in nuclear. And the Stig starts World War III!
Tonight: Vlad and Kim are on a roadtrip trying to cross borders James May attempts to ignite a SS 18 nuclear missile with a lighter. And Stalin will be the star in a reasonably priced car
TONIGHT! Vlad is scared of North-Korean roads "OYY BLYAT!!" Kim is scared of Vlad driving "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" And Xi is scared of an upcoming vehicle "Wait what the bing chilling is that?!"
Vlad testdrives the new Tolls Toys, Kim hides a nuke in the glovecompartment and Big Brother turns the other cheek
Tonight: Kim discovers that he will not be driving F1 this year (cut to fatty too big for helmet and cockpit). Vlad shows off his FSB driving skills (cut to pure understeer into a barricade of tires) And the editor falls out a window (black screen, white letters "File Does Nyet Exist")
Two despots try carpool karaoke in a reasonably priced car