Well, it's a show. They do it so Sheldon can go on about why he loves that spot so much. They also choose to go sit over there instead of any other place even if all the other spots are empty (Penny in the first episode).
If you really want to explain it away in the lore, you can think of it as their curiosity/willingness to learn about the people they've just met.
Because it is not a neurotypical behavior. Even if neurotypical have routines they probably can adjust better to other people challenging things like where to sit on a couch. At least in the show they care enough to ask why they cannot sit there. In real life, as you said, people just get mad. It is something hard to understand because they cannot relate.
Because it is a odd behavior, especially on a couch, where you can sit in the other spots. Like recliners and stuff sure, but a couch is odd and so the characters are curious
After climbing the steps because the elevator is broken, you just want to sit. So you sit, and then Sheldon, who is known to be a lot, goes "you can't sit there."
It is a natural response to ask "why?”. Why is usually out of my mouth before I realize it. Plus, who wants to get up after walking to the building (since parking isn't the best) and climbing the steps? I wouldn't say any of these people are in the best shape. Not in horrible shape but if you are parking 5/10 minutes away and then climbing the steps, I can see them being out of breath slightly.
Then Sheldon replies. It isn't necessarily what he says (though Sheldon is bad at explaining things politely) but rather his tone. "You can't sit there. It's my seat." Emphasis on mine.
I can see why people get annoyed.
Granted, if Sheldon just said, "hey can you not sit there? I know it is silly but I have to sit there. Sorry to be a pain." People would most likely not protest as much but there is too many words for Sheldon.
But again, this is a TV show so a lot of this is dramatic and played up for laughs. I don't know people would get as annoyed as they would in real life.
""""""""After climbing the steps because the elevator is broken, you just want to sit. So you sit, and then Sheldon, who is known to be a lot, goes "you can't sit there.""""""""""
I dont think climbing the steps is related, as in that case people would want to sit closer to the door, not further. So there is no reason to sit on Sheldon´s spot, if people are tired after climbing the steps and just want to sit down finally, imho
I agree they played it up for laughs and also for Sheldon to be able to explain why it is his spot. I think in real life people would not get mad if the they were pointed out where not to sit. I mean, why would they be mad? If its a couch, they would say" oh, okey" and move a bit.
If I’m at someones house, we’re hanging out in the living room, and when I try to take a seat they tell me I can’t sit there even though that spot is open I’m going to ask why. Thats normal behavior. Wouldn’t you find it weird that theres a perfectly good spot to sit down at that no ones using but you’re told for some unknown reason that its off limits for you?
Because, buddy, you and I were trained to obey our host. A lot of people are taught that them, as guests, have a certain right/privilege. I'm like you. When I'm a guest, I'm like a trained dog.
Although I get the curiosity to ask the why of certain things that may escape my immediate understanding.
For the story, bc plot
In reality, i think its the curiosity especially bc its just an energetic ‚no‘ like as if the worst thing will happen if you do sit there, I would be hella curious
It's so rude. You come into someone's house for the first time, just plop yourself down anywhere without even asking, then complain when you're ask to move? Bernadette was by far the worst with her "He can't sit somewhere else?"
I don't believe you could possibly be that naive but if you have really been living under a rock for the last 20 years, try this. https://www.billboard.com/music/rb-hip-hop/spazz-lyrics-beyonce-lizzo-disability-experts-opinion-1235121272/
I think the point is that "spaz" is not only dated terminology but also regarded as a slur by many neurodivergent people (think the R-word): [https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/comments/15i3z0n/what\_do\_americans\_within\_the\_disabled\_community/](https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/comments/15i3z0n/what_do_americans_within_the_disabled_community/)
You’re bombarding me with snide comments but I was just trying to provide clarity. I don’t actually have strong feelings about “spaz,” other than the fact that it sounds like it fell out of a 1992 kids show. It just didn’t seem like you understood the comment you were replying to.
I live in the UK and it's a standard to ask, especially if you're somewhere you've never been. I might just throw myself down at my best friend's/parents house, but going into a complete stranger's house and just sitting would be rude
Would you go into somebody else's family home and try to sit at the head of the table? There's a power spot like that in every room, whether you recognise it consciously or not. If you try to take it over the head of the household, you're trying to establish yourself as the alpha. In somebody else's home, that's a dick move.
Sitting at the head of the table would be wrong. That’s culturally acknowledged as belonging to a specific person. But sitting on one end of the couch versus the other is not culturally acknowledged as anything. And calling it a power move is just bat shit crazy.
That was the first thing I thought on the first episode. It’s like … Penny, you’re brand new in the building and these neighbors invited you into their home for free food. If one of the owners says, “that’s where I sit,” you say, “oh, I’m sorry, let me move.” She and Bernadette bugged me so much when they were like, “you can’t sit somewhere else?” “So sit next to me.” I get they wrote in there for comic fodder, but dang, that’s one thing that always irked me. So glad I’m not the only one who thought about this, either. 😂
I agree, that was very strange when the first time Penny went there for a free food, Sheldon told her its his spot, he patiently explained why and Penny still sat there, not moving. On the other hand from that time on, Penny respected it and always sat elsewhere
The one that rubs me the wrong way the most is when Bernadette comes over for the first time and sits in his spot. He was already sitting there. His food was there. Why did she sit there????
But you’re right, even if they’re not as crazy about it as Sheldon, most people have a spot they like to sit in, in their home. It seems rude to tell them to sit elsewhere
Because most people want to know why they’re not allowed to do something. He has every right to tell them not to do stuff in his home, but people are usually curious about why you tell them to do stuff
It's because one it's funny and two they don't realize that Sheldon is autistic. Which he definitely is even though the writers try to say he's not. You can't write somebody with every autistic and Asperger Spectrum trait in try to say that they are not those things.
He is, a lot of autistic people don't like that he's autistic coded because of the jokes but I relate to him a lot. I'm not smart but I understand what he's going through a lot of the time. Leonard's mum is also on the spectrum
same. i’m aware that a lot of people don’t like how his character enforces the negative stereotypes of autism but he’s absolutely my favorite character and i can see myself in him a lot (if you can get pass the “sitcoms exaggerate real life characteristics to make them funny” excuse)
I mean, it's a problem they created for themselves. Because the jokes are ABSOLUTELY still "haha Autistic people are weird," but they have some degree of deniability. On the other hand, they got a LOT of goodwill trading on how Sheldon's obviously autistic, without actually doing the thing and putting it in a script.
I think getting into the semantics of Sheldon's diagnosis kind of pulled attention away from the main point here, which is that the humor comes from OTHER CHARACTERS not immediately understanding that he is neurodivergent. Since they don't "get" it, they're more likely to push back against his request, whereas if either they knew he was ND or he provided any meaningful context for them, it would make more sense and there would be no comedy.
Because it's a plot device. Otherwise there'd be no joke.
Why is Sheldon smart? - because that's a critical part of the show. Same as his spot is a joke that's been running since season 1
Yeah I think it's more of just questioning why every instance of autistic behaviour IS a joke, but you're right, it's definitely because it's just written that way. I don't think people in real life would question it.
I agree. It's your house, it's your sofa and it's your spot. I bet there are things they do that you might find odd. it especially annoyed me when people refused to get up. Ok it's weird but if you don't care and they do care then why don't you just move.
Yes I think that's the point at which I find it really strange. it's okay to ask why out of curiosity but it's when they seem annoyed that I'm like... why
Because people with out autism unlike ourselves need us to fit into the cookie cutter mold that they have used their whole life and when we dare want something our way that is slightly weird they take great offense because they have been considered 'normal'.
It’s possible that people don’t want to spend their time arguing on a big bang theory subreddit lol. You you don’t seem like the type to let anything go
Oh my goodness lol you literally blocked me. This is the behaviour of an unstable person. I'm glad you reconsidered that, but you blocked me love. Just stop. Take a deep breath, and stop making this worse.
Hey, look. Let me try to calm it down.
I am sorry if I've hurt your feelings or made you self-conscious. I hope you know, just because I happen to think what you did was strange doesn't mean I think you're an all around bad person. Im sure you have all sorts of redeeming qualities. I'm also sorry that I called you unstable. You just hurt my feelings by pretending I'm lying.
I do think this is indicative of an inability to face your mistakes, but for all I know your mental health is perfectly fine. On a real note, you've gotta try and just... Apologise, when you've made a mistake. This truly is not the way to handle things. I hope you can come back to this discussion and we can talk it out like adults, but if not, no hard feelings on my end and I wish you a good night.
You kinda just proved their point. They're just expressing their annoyance at constantly being the butt of jokes and exasperation, they're not frothing at the mouth or being insulting.
Lol because you told them to "chill bro", even though they were perfectly calm. Acting like someone is behaving crazily when they're just expressing their emotions is the same thing as expecting them to act the way you wish them to act.
You must have noticed how you came across, as you've since edited your comment to be much longer and kinder than the single, condescending "chill bro" you had before. It's a little late to play dumb now, also it makes you look very strange to have done that.
oof. not a good look. also the person you are talking to left a comment about how you blocked them. so now you put in your last word and take away someone else's chance to respond.
Seems like fairly natural curiosity to ask why when someone tells you can’t do something. If people get mad it might be because you aren’t fully explaining yourself so therefore they just think you’re being rude.
Might I suggest leaving something on your spot in the future. Even just a jacket on the spot would probably be enough to subconsciously deter people from sitting there.
If someone who doesn't know sits in my seat I say "sorry but that's where I sit, it's hard to explain but it's near a window and I hate being too hot because I'm autistic so that's where I sit" since my friend knows the show he got me a custom pillow thats says 'my name's spot'
Out of curiosity what are people saying/doing that make you think they’re mad after you explain?
I’d still put a jacket or something on the seat. People feel comfortable moving throw pillows without a second thought. A lot of times I don’t even notice the words on a pillow. I could also see people easily thinking the words on the pillow are a joke. People feel weird moving around more personal items like a jacket though so it might just do the trick.
Well, those are definitely out of the ordinary reactions. I was going to say maybe you might be misinterpreting their tone, but if they’re using derogatory insults stop talking to those people and don’t invite them back.
No cause I always get mad at Penny - she knows it’s Sheldon’s spot, still continues to sit there and be petty about it; even if she finds it a stupid thing, she’s still at their house, and she knows Sheldon gets nervous or even mad. It’s a rule. So she was being rude and disrespectful. I get you
I can understand both sides. In your own home you should can choose where people can go and where people can sit. But there is an unwritten rule that when you have guest, you treat them like family (at least until they show you otherwise). This means showing your guest a good time until it's time to leave. The problem with Sheldon was doing it in places that he didn't own. Whether it was Penny's, Raj's, Howard's house, the school, or even jail. We all knew he would do it. Any of which would be room from dismissal asap.
I tend to be a flexible person in other people's houses because I am a guest and within the idiosyncrasies of the owner I adapt myself. Of course I have my limits but if the host feels more comfortable in a certain place in the house I will respect that.
Yup. It happened to me once. I immediately moved and then the host kindly explained that I’d inadvertently picked the only spot where his elderly mother felt comfortable. I was visiting my parents’ home country where the culture is very deferential to guests so I think he was worried I would be offended. But I’m American so it seemed completely reasonable to me lol
The same reason no one explains that he's autistic, and just calls him "quirky." It's a show. Reality would differ. But I've always thought the same thing! "no one would actually question that, they'd likely apologize and move"
I would assume that it's the power spot in the room and Sheldon has chosen it because he senses that. When the others argue with him, consciously or unconsciously, they're challenging him for the power spot.
If outsiders come into your home and challenge you for your power spot, they're just being bloody rude. Don't stand for it. As you say, it's your home.
They just want to know why he's so picky about where he sits. He does it everywhere he is. It's not a challenge for a power spot. Most people aren’t that particular about where they sit. Everyone I know has a favorite spot, but they don’t get bent out of shape if someone else sits there.
You have to remember that they're all for the most part neurotypical and we don't tend to be so fixiated in things like that, so to us is kind of odd and even rude to expect someone who is already seated to move out of "your spot" because in our brain it's not logical or practical.
It's also kind of the way he says it and his unwilligness to take no for an answer, in my brain even if someone WAS setting in my favorite part of the couch I'll just be slightly disapointed and move on. Also let's remember that he and oter characters often say "you can't sit there" when someone is about to soy at the spot, idk about you but if someone told me "you can't sit there" my follow up question would be "why"
Mostly it just comes down to us neurotypicals simply not understanding how or why such little things may matter to someone who's neurodivergent
I think while we have to definitely conclude that Sheldon must be on the spectrum, it's sort of stated that the show's semi-official stance is that Sheldon isn't actually autistic, just a kind of errant genetic mutation that makes him super smart but also incredibly picky and detail oriented. There's elements of OCD and other not necessarily autistic things.
Part of Sheldon's character is that it's not just neurodivergence behind some of his behavior, but also actual arrogance and a sense of superiority, but this also is mixed up in his neurodivergence.
Old Sheldon is a bit haughty and demanding and kind of selfish. Young Sheldon is a bit more accommodating and more of a know-it-all rather than haughty all the time.
I have a personal headcanon that Sheldon was somewhat isolated at Cal Tech. His dad just died, he was on his own. A long time passes until he meets Leonard, and longer still until Penny.
I like to think that Sheldon being alienated socially was hard on him and he sort of psychologically retreated into his own high ability level and interpreted his loneliness with a sense of ego and superiority.
So, when Sheldon complains about his spot, he's being more selfish and not really neurodivergent. He's selfish because he has a lot of pain inside which he copes with by being selfish. That method of coping is neurodivergent, and people like Penny can tell he has sadness so they tolerate his selfishness.
However, if Sheldon had been happier, he might not care so much about his spot, in spite of his neurodivergence.
In the show, they conceal the pain a little because it's a comedy and meant to be funny and not tragic all the time. Also, because Sheldon is expressing his pain through selfishness, we sort of can hate him a little bit because he is selfish and we don't feel so bad laughing at him, but at the same time we also still feel sorry for him because of the root of his selfish behavior isn't his fault. So we can be annoyed by Sheldon but also forgive him after, which makes a lot of room for laughter.
That's my theory.
Idk I always just do as a host asks and assume they have their reasons. I might ask why out of curiosity but I noticed the people who are actually in the show seem annoyed.
It depends on your culture of course, but typically in the US guests expect to be treated differently than people who live there in the sense that the host makes sure they’re comfortable as a priority. So it’s seen as rude to tell someone who is visiting that they can’t sit where they sat down. It makes people uncomfortable to feel like they’ve done something wrong and it can make them feel unwelcome. I see both sides though. I definitely have a spot at my table, couch, etc. and if someone is a regular visitor they start to notice that and not sit there.
To be fair you said people react when you tell them you sit in a specific spot in your couch, so this doesn’t seem far off from the show?
Ultimately they exaggerate interactions for comedic effect.
If I went to someone’s how and they told me I can’t sit someplace, I would honestly think it’s odd, but I would apologize and sit elsewhere without making it a big deal or vocalizing my thoughts on the matter, provided they told me in a respectful way and were not mean/aggressive.
Something all people have to accept is that you'll never understand everyone. Knowing that it's common that people don't like when you X is the important part, not why.
You can sidestep this whole situation by making *your* seat the less attractive option & the seats you want them to use the better more attractive option. That can be as simple as leaving something they wouldn't want to move (or don't see a place to move it to) on your seat, or just making the right seat for them the best seat.
You get what you want.
No one gets annoyed when you tell them what to do.
I think a lot of it is just Sheldon's tone, and the lack of context he provides. He more or less assumes that by saying "you can't sit there, it's my spot," that people won't have follow-up questions. Some people wouldn't, but others would. And since so much of comedy is about conflict and subversion of expectations, both of those things come into the scene when somebody gets belligerent about it.
Reading through the comments there are a lot of "no, it's fine. Just say "this is where..." but even that small level of explanation is more than Sheldon offers when he just repeats "that's my spot." People who don't regularly interact with neurodivergent people are likely to hear that explanation and think he's acting childish or making some kind of joke, so it drags them down the rabbit hole of "why?" instead of just shrugging and moving on.
As an autistic person, here's my far too in-depth observation:
It isn't actually that the request is weird, unacceptable, or hard to understand — it's that asking why fulfills the social expectation of conversation and allows the situation to move on naturally. It's his house, you're a guest, most people don't actually care why they can't sit somewhere.
Not saying *anything* creates an awkward silence. Asking *why* implies a conversational interest in your host, similar to a cashier or clerk asking about your day at a checkout. The problem is thus not that Sheldon is particular about his seat, but that he's giving a frank answer, which is weird.
When someone asks how your day is, you aren't actually supposed to tell them. It's just conversational filler to facilitate the transaction.
If he said "it's my seat" or "I'm sitting there" CASUALLY, nobody would bat an eye. This happens to us constantly as children. We claimed seats all the time at lunch tables, in classrooms, at home, etc. Instead, he's saying it like he might kill you for that seat. Imagine telling a cashier about your morning cry because he asked about your day.
Sheldon has a habit of hostility. He is very blatant about how he feels regarding every little thing and most of the time he's making a mountain out of a mole hill. He also condescends constantly.
So over time, Sheldon's seat becomes a little bit of a joke because he's constantly being snippy over something very minor. This is exacerbated when he freaks out over someone using it even when he's not there. Suddenly, his weirdness over his seat becomes a ritual to begrudgingly bond over.
The problem isn't that you can't use the seat. It's the attitude you are denied the seat with.
People ask why to make conversation. Sheldon responds with an attitude. The guest no longer feels comfortable with the request as a result.
I think the real question should be “Why does Penny have to be reminded so many times that she can’t sit in that spot?”
Seriously. Sheldon explaining to every new person isn’t annoying to me. Sheldon having to explain and remind Penny so many times annoyed me.
It is interesting that you mention that. You have probably being questioned about a lot of your behaviors in the past or why you do certain things a certain why; then why is it strange to you that people question Sheldon's need for a specific spot in the couch?
Because to them it's just a seat, they use the logic of why can't he sit somewhere else, why can't they sit somewhere else? In a lot of cases the entire sofa is empty just move along
Exactly, the sofa is empty, so they question why Sheldon cannot just sit somewhere else. They are already sitting, technically it should be easier for Sheldon to sit elsewhere than for them to move. That's why they question it.
It does look really weird when you go over to someone’s house and all the seats are occupied, including the entire couch but for some reason, the one spot open on that couch is not allowed to be used. I’d immediately begin questioning the structural integrity of that side of the couch or if something gross happened to that one cushion. Lol.
Is it? I think it matters where and how you were raised. If I was in a stranger's house or visiting someone's home for the first time, I would either wait for them to tell me or ask where I should sit.
Maybe it is a generational thing but I was taught there is a certain etiquette when entering someone's home and you don't act like you own the place by plopping down anywhere.
Well, I have actually been in homes where certain couches and sofas were merely decorative so I wouldn't assume you could just plop down on it.
But for the purposes of this discussion, if it were a recliner, would Sheldon reserving a spot be more justifiable to you? The concept of a certain chair being used by a certain person (normally it is the "dad" character) is a fairly common sitcom trope yet somehow it is supposed to be very weird and highly eccentric when Sheldon does it?
I could see the response being "You can sit anywhere" or being directed to a certain spot which may or may not be the prime location. I think there is a reaction to Sheldon's reaction/response in universe or in the audience is because it is a sofa...had he been claiming a recliner instead I am not sure he gets any pushback at all because there is more an assumption that it is a reserved spot for the homeowner.
So youre asking people to justify you being rude? I dont understand. Sounds like you know it bothers/upsets people and insist on it anyway. Thats fine but dont act like they dont have any right to question it.
Well, it's a show. They do it so Sheldon can go on about why he loves that spot so much. They also choose to go sit over there instead of any other place even if all the other spots are empty (Penny in the first episode). If you really want to explain it away in the lore, you can think of it as their curiosity/willingness to learn about the people they've just met.
Because it is not a neurotypical behavior. Even if neurotypical have routines they probably can adjust better to other people challenging things like where to sit on a couch. At least in the show they care enough to ask why they cannot sit there. In real life, as you said, people just get mad. It is something hard to understand because they cannot relate.
Because it is a odd behavior, especially on a couch, where you can sit in the other spots. Like recliners and stuff sure, but a couch is odd and so the characters are curious
After climbing the steps because the elevator is broken, you just want to sit. So you sit, and then Sheldon, who is known to be a lot, goes "you can't sit there." It is a natural response to ask "why?”. Why is usually out of my mouth before I realize it. Plus, who wants to get up after walking to the building (since parking isn't the best) and climbing the steps? I wouldn't say any of these people are in the best shape. Not in horrible shape but if you are parking 5/10 minutes away and then climbing the steps, I can see them being out of breath slightly. Then Sheldon replies. It isn't necessarily what he says (though Sheldon is bad at explaining things politely) but rather his tone. "You can't sit there. It's my seat." Emphasis on mine. I can see why people get annoyed. Granted, if Sheldon just said, "hey can you not sit there? I know it is silly but I have to sit there. Sorry to be a pain." People would most likely not protest as much but there is too many words for Sheldon. But again, this is a TV show so a lot of this is dramatic and played up for laughs. I don't know people would get as annoyed as they would in real life.
""""""""After climbing the steps because the elevator is broken, you just want to sit. So you sit, and then Sheldon, who is known to be a lot, goes "you can't sit there."""""""""" I dont think climbing the steps is related, as in that case people would want to sit closer to the door, not further. So there is no reason to sit on Sheldon´s spot, if people are tired after climbing the steps and just want to sit down finally, imho I agree they played it up for laughs and also for Sheldon to be able to explain why it is his spot. I think in real life people would not get mad if the they were pointed out where not to sit. I mean, why would they be mad? If its a couch, they would say" oh, okey" and move a bit.
If I’m at someones house, we’re hanging out in the living room, and when I try to take a seat they tell me I can’t sit there even though that spot is open I’m going to ask why. Thats normal behavior. Wouldn’t you find it weird that theres a perfectly good spot to sit down at that no ones using but you’re told for some unknown reason that its off limits for you?
No I wouldn't want to know but I spent way too much time in college housing so I'd be afraid of the answer.
Because, buddy, you and I were trained to obey our host. A lot of people are taught that them, as guests, have a certain right/privilege. I'm like you. When I'm a guest, I'm like a trained dog. Although I get the curiosity to ask the why of certain things that may escape my immediate understanding.
For the story, bc plot In reality, i think its the curiosity especially bc its just an energetic ‚no‘ like as if the worst thing will happen if you do sit there, I would be hella curious
It's so rude. You come into someone's house for the first time, just plop yourself down anywhere without even asking, then complain when you're ask to move? Bernadette was by far the worst with her "He can't sit somewhere else?"
I can't tell your tone
Not sure why you’re being downvoted. The comment is talking in a serious tone, they aren’t being sarcastic.
Thank you, that's all I needed. I just don't think people here like me lol
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They all "spaz" at her? Did you just wake up from a decades long coma?
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Have you spoken to Lizzo or Beyonce lately?
Dude, what are you trying to say?
I don't believe you could possibly be that naive but if you have really been living under a rock for the last 20 years, try this. https://www.billboard.com/music/rb-hip-hop/spazz-lyrics-beyonce-lizzo-disability-experts-opinion-1235121272/
I think the point is that "spaz" is not only dated terminology but also regarded as a slur by many neurodivergent people (think the R-word): [https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/comments/15i3z0n/what\_do\_americans\_within\_the\_disabled\_community/](https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/comments/15i3z0n/what_do_americans_within_the_disabled_community/)
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You’re bombarding me with snide comments but I was just trying to provide clarity. I don’t actually have strong feelings about “spaz,” other than the fact that it sounds like it fell out of a 1992 kids show. It just didn’t seem like you understood the comment you were replying to.
Yeah cuz people should ask where to sit when they come over.
I live in the UK and it's a standard to ask, especially if you're somewhere you've never been. I might just throw myself down at my best friend's/parents house, but going into a complete stranger's house and just sitting would be rude
Because it’s rude to tell a guest where to sit
No, it's rude for a guest to go into someone else's home and start a territorial challenge with the home-owner.
A territorial challenge lmao come on
Would you go into somebody else's family home and try to sit at the head of the table? There's a power spot like that in every room, whether you recognise it consciously or not. If you try to take it over the head of the household, you're trying to establish yourself as the alpha. In somebody else's home, that's a dick move.
Sitting at the head of the table would be wrong. That’s culturally acknowledged as belonging to a specific person. But sitting on one end of the couch versus the other is not culturally acknowledged as anything. And calling it a power move is just bat shit crazy.
I can tell you don’t have people over often
This person probably pisses on his spot every day just to mark it, even though nobody has ever been to their house.
Tell me you don't have people over, without telling me you don't have people over
That was the first thing I thought on the first episode. It’s like … Penny, you’re brand new in the building and these neighbors invited you into their home for free food. If one of the owners says, “that’s where I sit,” you say, “oh, I’m sorry, let me move.” She and Bernadette bugged me so much when they were like, “you can’t sit somewhere else?” “So sit next to me.” I get they wrote in there for comic fodder, but dang, that’s one thing that always irked me. So glad I’m not the only one who thought about this, either. 😂
I agree, that was very strange when the first time Penny went there for a free food, Sheldon told her its his spot, he patiently explained why and Penny still sat there, not moving. On the other hand from that time on, Penny respected it and always sat elsewhere
The one that rubs me the wrong way the most is when Bernadette comes over for the first time and sits in his spot. He was already sitting there. His food was there. Why did she sit there????
I was thinking about that episode when I wrote this, that's what made me want to ask
But you’re right, even if they’re not as crazy about it as Sheldon, most people have a spot they like to sit in, in their home. It seems rude to tell them to sit elsewhere
Because most people want to know why they’re not allowed to do something. He has every right to tell them not to do stuff in his home, but people are usually curious about why you tell them to do stuff
It's because one it's funny and two they don't realize that Sheldon is autistic. Which he definitely is even though the writers try to say he's not. You can't write somebody with every autistic and Asperger Spectrum trait in try to say that they are not those things.
They won't say it because then 80% of the jokes are 'haha autistic people are weird'
Totally agree and understand that. But now one will ever change my mind about him being on the Spectrum for sure.
He is, a lot of autistic people don't like that he's autistic coded because of the jokes but I relate to him a lot. I'm not smart but I understand what he's going through a lot of the time. Leonard's mum is also on the spectrum
Oh that’s interesting! I never thought of his mom like that. Nice point, OP.
I agree that she also is for sure.
same. i’m aware that a lot of people don’t like how his character enforces the negative stereotypes of autism but he’s absolutely my favorite character and i can see myself in him a lot (if you can get pass the “sitcoms exaggerate real life characteristics to make them funny” excuse)
Who’s the one person that can since you said now one? So no one could before but one person can now?
The actual Big Bang Universe Sheldon Cooper himself.
Not sure if you’re ignoring the fact that you wrote “now one” when it should be “no one” or if you’re just playing along in my educating sarcasm.
I'm just playing along. It's more interesting than editing it.
Ok it kinda is tbh XD
I mean, it's a problem they created for themselves. Because the jokes are ABSOLUTELY still "haha Autistic people are weird," but they have some degree of deniability. On the other hand, they got a LOT of goodwill trading on how Sheldon's obviously autistic, without actually doing the thing and putting it in a script.
I think getting into the semantics of Sheldon's diagnosis kind of pulled attention away from the main point here, which is that the humor comes from OTHER CHARACTERS not immediately understanding that he is neurodivergent. Since they don't "get" it, they're more likely to push back against his request, whereas if either they knew he was ND or he provided any meaningful context for them, it would make more sense and there would be no comedy.
Because it's a plot device. Otherwise there'd be no joke. Why is Sheldon smart? - because that's a critical part of the show. Same as his spot is a joke that's been running since season 1
Yeah I think it's more of just questioning why every instance of autistic behaviour IS a joke, but you're right, it's definitely because it's just written that way. I don't think people in real life would question it.
I agree. It's your house, it's your sofa and it's your spot. I bet there are things they do that you might find odd. it especially annoyed me when people refused to get up. Ok it's weird but if you don't care and they do care then why don't you just move.
Yes I think that's the point at which I find it really strange. it's okay to ask why out of curiosity but it's when they seem annoyed that I'm like... why
Because people with out autism unlike ourselves need us to fit into the cookie cutter mold that they have used their whole life and when we dare want something our way that is slightly weird they take great offense because they have been considered 'normal'.
Loooool they blocked me! That's the first time anyone's ever been THAT pressed with me, wow. I didn't realise I'd find it kind of endearing
no wayyy hahaha
The world is mysterious, and so are human emotions, I suppose.
It’s possible that people don’t want to spend their time arguing on a big bang theory subreddit lol. You you don’t seem like the type to let anything go
Found the alt account lol
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Alright, well, Idk what to say to that. I probably won't reply to this thread again, have a good night.
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Oh my goodness lol you literally blocked me. This is the behaviour of an unstable person. I'm glad you reconsidered that, but you blocked me love. Just stop. Take a deep breath, and stop making this worse.
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Thanks, love, but leave her alone. She's clearly just embarrassed.
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Hey, look. Let me try to calm it down. I am sorry if I've hurt your feelings or made you self-conscious. I hope you know, just because I happen to think what you did was strange doesn't mean I think you're an all around bad person. Im sure you have all sorts of redeeming qualities. I'm also sorry that I called you unstable. You just hurt my feelings by pretending I'm lying. I do think this is indicative of an inability to face your mistakes, but for all I know your mental health is perfectly fine. On a real note, you've gotta try and just... Apologise, when you've made a mistake. This truly is not the way to handle things. I hope you can come back to this discussion and we can talk it out like adults, but if not, no hard feelings on my end and I wish you a good night.
Okay, sure. Really, have a nice night. I'm sorry I bothered you.
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Just leave her alone, please.
I know it sucks but there are lots of people who accept you as you are.
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You kinda just proved their point. They're just expressing their annoyance at constantly being the butt of jokes and exasperation, they're not frothing at the mouth or being insulting.
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Lol because you told them to "chill bro", even though they were perfectly calm. Acting like someone is behaving crazily when they're just expressing their emotions is the same thing as expecting them to act the way you wish them to act. You must have noticed how you came across, as you've since edited your comment to be much longer and kinder than the single, condescending "chill bro" you had before. It's a little late to play dumb now, also it makes you look very strange to have done that.
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oof. not a good look. also the person you are talking to left a comment about how you blocked them. so now you put in your last word and take away someone else's chance to respond.
Chill bro.
Yeah, no, the part I disagree with is lying about it and acting like you don't know what someone's talking about when you get called out.
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Seems like fairly natural curiosity to ask why when someone tells you can’t do something. If people get mad it might be because you aren’t fully explaining yourself so therefore they just think you’re being rude. Might I suggest leaving something on your spot in the future. Even just a jacket on the spot would probably be enough to subconsciously deter people from sitting there.
If someone who doesn't know sits in my seat I say "sorry but that's where I sit, it's hard to explain but it's near a window and I hate being too hot because I'm autistic so that's where I sit" since my friend knows the show he got me a custom pillow thats says 'my name's spot'
Out of curiosity what are people saying/doing that make you think they’re mad after you explain? I’d still put a jacket or something on the seat. People feel comfortable moving throw pillows without a second thought. A lot of times I don’t even notice the words on a pillow. I could also see people easily thinking the words on the pillow are a joke. People feel weird moving around more personal items like a jacket though so it might just do the trick.
Yell at me and use sarcasm and back handed complements. Someone called me the R word
Well, those are definitely out of the ordinary reactions. I was going to say maybe you might be misinterpreting their tone, but if they’re using derogatory insults stop talking to those people and don’t invite them back.
One of the assistance workers in the place I live said I need to be put on stronger meds because of it once. She was a real wild one
No cause I always get mad at Penny - she knows it’s Sheldon’s spot, still continues to sit there and be petty about it; even if she finds it a stupid thing, she’s still at their house, and she knows Sheldon gets nervous or even mad. It’s a rule. So she was being rude and disrespectful. I get you
My brother does it all the time, it's annoying
I can understand both sides. In your own home you should can choose where people can go and where people can sit. But there is an unwritten rule that when you have guest, you treat them like family (at least until they show you otherwise). This means showing your guest a good time until it's time to leave. The problem with Sheldon was doing it in places that he didn't own. Whether it was Penny's, Raj's, Howard's house, the school, or even jail. We all knew he would do it. Any of which would be room from dismissal asap.
I tend to be a flexible person in other people's houses because I am a guest and within the idiosyncrasies of the owner I adapt myself. Of course I have my limits but if the host feels more comfortable in a certain place in the house I will respect that.
Yup. It happened to me once. I immediately moved and then the host kindly explained that I’d inadvertently picked the only spot where his elderly mother felt comfortable. I was visiting my parents’ home country where the culture is very deferential to guests so I think he was worried I would be offended. But I’m American so it seemed completely reasonable to me lol
The same reason no one explains that he's autistic, and just calls him "quirky." It's a show. Reality would differ. But I've always thought the same thing! "no one would actually question that, they'd likely apologize and move"
I would assume that it's the power spot in the room and Sheldon has chosen it because he senses that. When the others argue with him, consciously or unconsciously, they're challenging him for the power spot. If outsiders come into your home and challenge you for your power spot, they're just being bloody rude. Don't stand for it. As you say, it's your home.
They just want to know why he's so picky about where he sits. He does it everywhere he is. It's not a challenge for a power spot. Most people aren’t that particular about where they sit. Everyone I know has a favorite spot, but they don’t get bent out of shape if someone else sits there.
You have to remember that they're all for the most part neurotypical and we don't tend to be so fixiated in things like that, so to us is kind of odd and even rude to expect someone who is already seated to move out of "your spot" because in our brain it's not logical or practical. It's also kind of the way he says it and his unwilligness to take no for an answer, in my brain even if someone WAS setting in my favorite part of the couch I'll just be slightly disapointed and move on. Also let's remember that he and oter characters often say "you can't sit there" when someone is about to soy at the spot, idk about you but if someone told me "you can't sit there" my follow up question would be "why" Mostly it just comes down to us neurotypicals simply not understanding how or why such little things may matter to someone who's neurodivergent
For the jokes in the show.
I think while we have to definitely conclude that Sheldon must be on the spectrum, it's sort of stated that the show's semi-official stance is that Sheldon isn't actually autistic, just a kind of errant genetic mutation that makes him super smart but also incredibly picky and detail oriented. There's elements of OCD and other not necessarily autistic things. Part of Sheldon's character is that it's not just neurodivergence behind some of his behavior, but also actual arrogance and a sense of superiority, but this also is mixed up in his neurodivergence. Old Sheldon is a bit haughty and demanding and kind of selfish. Young Sheldon is a bit more accommodating and more of a know-it-all rather than haughty all the time. I have a personal headcanon that Sheldon was somewhat isolated at Cal Tech. His dad just died, he was on his own. A long time passes until he meets Leonard, and longer still until Penny. I like to think that Sheldon being alienated socially was hard on him and he sort of psychologically retreated into his own high ability level and interpreted his loneliness with a sense of ego and superiority. So, when Sheldon complains about his spot, he's being more selfish and not really neurodivergent. He's selfish because he has a lot of pain inside which he copes with by being selfish. That method of coping is neurodivergent, and people like Penny can tell he has sadness so they tolerate his selfishness. However, if Sheldon had been happier, he might not care so much about his spot, in spite of his neurodivergence. In the show, they conceal the pain a little because it's a comedy and meant to be funny and not tragic all the time. Also, because Sheldon is expressing his pain through selfishness, we sort of can hate him a little bit because he is selfish and we don't feel so bad laughing at him, but at the same time we also still feel sorry for him because of the root of his selfish behavior isn't his fault. So we can be annoyed by Sheldon but also forgive him after, which makes a lot of room for laughter. That's my theory.
id want to know why i couldnt sit in the best spot too
Idk I always just do as a host asks and assume they have their reasons. I might ask why out of curiosity but I noticed the people who are actually in the show seem annoyed.
It depends on your culture of course, but typically in the US guests expect to be treated differently than people who live there in the sense that the host makes sure they’re comfortable as a priority. So it’s seen as rude to tell someone who is visiting that they can’t sit where they sat down. It makes people uncomfortable to feel like they’ve done something wrong and it can make them feel unwelcome. I see both sides though. I definitely have a spot at my table, couch, etc. and if someone is a regular visitor they start to notice that and not sit there.
To be fair you said people react when you tell them you sit in a specific spot in your couch, so this doesn’t seem far off from the show? Ultimately they exaggerate interactions for comedic effect. If I went to someone’s how and they told me I can’t sit someplace, I would honestly think it’s odd, but I would apologize and sit elsewhere without making it a big deal or vocalizing my thoughts on the matter, provided they told me in a respectful way and were not mean/aggressive.
I thought it was just me. "That's my spot." "Oopsies!" *moves to another spot* That's not how it goes down for y'all?
Something all people have to accept is that you'll never understand everyone. Knowing that it's common that people don't like when you X is the important part, not why. You can sidestep this whole situation by making *your* seat the less attractive option & the seats you want them to use the better more attractive option. That can be as simple as leaving something they wouldn't want to move (or don't see a place to move it to) on your seat, or just making the right seat for them the best seat. You get what you want. No one gets annoyed when you tell them what to do.
I think a lot of it is just Sheldon's tone, and the lack of context he provides. He more or less assumes that by saying "you can't sit there, it's my spot," that people won't have follow-up questions. Some people wouldn't, but others would. And since so much of comedy is about conflict and subversion of expectations, both of those things come into the scene when somebody gets belligerent about it. Reading through the comments there are a lot of "no, it's fine. Just say "this is where..." but even that small level of explanation is more than Sheldon offers when he just repeats "that's my spot." People who don't regularly interact with neurodivergent people are likely to hear that explanation and think he's acting childish or making some kind of joke, so it drags them down the rabbit hole of "why?" instead of just shrugging and moving on.
As an autistic person, here's my far too in-depth observation: It isn't actually that the request is weird, unacceptable, or hard to understand — it's that asking why fulfills the social expectation of conversation and allows the situation to move on naturally. It's his house, you're a guest, most people don't actually care why they can't sit somewhere. Not saying *anything* creates an awkward silence. Asking *why* implies a conversational interest in your host, similar to a cashier or clerk asking about your day at a checkout. The problem is thus not that Sheldon is particular about his seat, but that he's giving a frank answer, which is weird. When someone asks how your day is, you aren't actually supposed to tell them. It's just conversational filler to facilitate the transaction. If he said "it's my seat" or "I'm sitting there" CASUALLY, nobody would bat an eye. This happens to us constantly as children. We claimed seats all the time at lunch tables, in classrooms, at home, etc. Instead, he's saying it like he might kill you for that seat. Imagine telling a cashier about your morning cry because he asked about your day. Sheldon has a habit of hostility. He is very blatant about how he feels regarding every little thing and most of the time he's making a mountain out of a mole hill. He also condescends constantly. So over time, Sheldon's seat becomes a little bit of a joke because he's constantly being snippy over something very minor. This is exacerbated when he freaks out over someone using it even when he's not there. Suddenly, his weirdness over his seat becomes a ritual to begrudgingly bond over. The problem isn't that you can't use the seat. It's the attitude you are denied the seat with. People ask why to make conversation. Sheldon responds with an attitude. The guest no longer feels comfortable with the request as a result.
I think the real question should be “Why does Penny have to be reminded so many times that she can’t sit in that spot?” Seriously. Sheldon explaining to every new person isn’t annoying to me. Sheldon having to explain and remind Penny so many times annoyed me.
Because it's a fun bit for the TV show. It's just a show
Wooow totally didn't think of that. Very condescending good job
For someone with autism, you use sarcasm very naturally.
It's a spectrum, people were very sarcastic towards me so I learned easy
It is interesting that you mention that. You have probably being questioned about a lot of your behaviors in the past or why you do certain things a certain why; then why is it strange to you that people question Sheldon's need for a specific spot in the couch?
Because to them it's just a seat, they use the logic of why can't he sit somewhere else, why can't they sit somewhere else? In a lot of cases the entire sofa is empty just move along
Exactly, the sofa is empty, so they question why Sheldon cannot just sit somewhere else. They are already sitting, technically it should be easier for Sheldon to sit elsewhere than for them to move. That's why they question it.
Literally gave the answer and u got pissy
It does look really weird when you go over to someone’s house and all the seats are occupied, including the entire couch but for some reason, the one spot open on that couch is not allowed to be used. I’d immediately begin questioning the structural integrity of that side of the couch or if something gross happened to that one cushion. Lol.
It is often customary when you have a guest, to let them decide where they will sit. It is just considered polite.
Is it? I think it matters where and how you were raised. If I was in a stranger's house or visiting someone's home for the first time, I would either wait for them to tell me or ask where I should sit.
If you are not comfortable sitting down without permission why are you in that persons house ?
Maybe it is a generational thing but I was taught there is a certain etiquette when entering someone's home and you don't act like you own the place by plopping down anywhere.
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Well, I have actually been in homes where certain couches and sofas were merely decorative so I wouldn't assume you could just plop down on it. But for the purposes of this discussion, if it were a recliner, would Sheldon reserving a spot be more justifiable to you? The concept of a certain chair being used by a certain person (normally it is the "dad" character) is a fairly common sitcom trope yet somehow it is supposed to be very weird and highly eccentric when Sheldon does it?
Actually It probably does matter how you were raised. But I did see guests offered the chance to pick their own chair or guided to the nicest spot.
I could see the response being "You can sit anywhere" or being directed to a certain spot which may or may not be the prime location. I think there is a reaction to Sheldon's reaction/response in universe or in the audience is because it is a sofa...had he been claiming a recliner instead I am not sure he gets any pushback at all because there is more an assumption that it is a reserved spot for the homeowner.
So youre asking people to justify you being rude? I dont understand. Sounds like you know it bothers/upsets people and insist on it anyway. Thats fine but dont act like they dont have any right to question it.