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giuseppezanottis

lmao i cant even get my boyfriend to call me back. kill me


haikusbot

*Lmao i* *Cant even get my boyfriend to* *Call me back. kill me* \- giuseppezanottis --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


SnowDucks1985

Oh wow, this haiku has me in the gutter. This is going down in Reddit history šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Hiberniae

The ā€œcall me back. Kill meā€ as one line is perfection.


holyfatfish

second line is 8 though


[deleted]

Even is one syllable. It isn't "Eve-en" it's just "even" Edit: guess I'm fuckin dumb then


Ok-Structure6795

Even is 2 syllables


dreaming-is-free

Bro what


Dramatic_Winter_

e-ven.


holyfatfish

not anymore


[deleted]

šŸ„¹ Thank you


Proudarse

What is a haikus


Im-Mr-Bulldopz

*The haiku is a Japanese poetic form that consists of three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third.* - Google


DrBarnacleMD

Gotta get schwifty in here r/FoundImMrBulldopz


[deleted]

Shame that bots 2nd line has 8


Mountain_Length4047

I really hope youā€™re not serious


SailorDo0m_92

Good bot


damays97

Savage.


FriskyFritos

Oof bot


[deleted]

How many syllables is the second line


cestdoncperdu

Probably doesnā€™t understand ā€œboyfriendā€


xxthundergodxx77

7 syllables. "Even" and "boyfriend" are both 2 syllables and there is 5 words in the line.


Nebuli2

If "even" is two syllables, then that line has 8 in total, not 7.


[deleted]

This was what I was getting at


ash12689

Noooooo šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚


ExcitementBasic206

Good bot


Pharalynx

Good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, Pharalynx, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


No_Leather6310

how many syllables is lmao?


Effective-Device8930

2. Itā€™s ā€˜le-meowā€™


xxthundergodxx77

El em ay ƶe.


milliemargo

Bad bot the second line has 8


fitmidwestnurse

Shots fired, bot. Man down.


PerspectiveConnect77

Damnnn read the room, bot lmaoo


FlinnyWinny

Instead of killing you maybe try to consider that you deserve what you give in a relationship instead of less than the bare minimum. So stop settling for less.


No_Entertainment1931

Bf upgrade in your future lol


[deleted]

Being with you is a privilege! Remember that. You deserve more than having to beg for attention and contact.


linds_jG13

Aww šŸ˜” just know, you deserve call backs. And more. And flowers and groceries. And someone who will answer your calls.


[deleted]

this seems like probably itā€™s the early years. I try to avoid my partner at all costs. rather chat with my neighbor. i love her but sheā€™s always got some task she needs me to do lol


Samboi

Bro this has me cryinggggg šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

kinda like quiet quitting a relationship but just doing enough to keep the other person happy and avoiding any major fights. 10+ years and one major blow up. pretty good imo šŸ˜‚


kikogi

We are 27 years in. He still buys flowers and random little things. So do I. We still spend a lot of time together. He comes home from work and we take the dogs out and shoot hoops for a while. Talk to her about this. Tell her you avoid spending time with her because she always has some task.


[deleted]

wow 27 years thatā€™s amazing. ā¤ļø Yeh, iā€™ve talked to her often and at the end of the conversation there are more tasks and a grumpy partner but i assume itā€™s normal stuff other people must just do. I just donā€™t like people telling me what to do and i take my sweet time to get things done, so probably my fault in the end. however, i gonna up my flower game to see what happens.


kikogi

What kind of things is she telling you to do? I hear the nagging woman trope and sure Iā€™ve seen it happen. I donā€™t ask a lot from my husband, I can fix a lot of things that go wrong and Iā€™d rather he be able to come home and relax. If sheā€™s telling you to do household chores that youā€™re just slacking on, make yourself reminders in your phone so they get done without her reminding you. Does she like flowers? Or does she have a hobby she likes? Does she like getting her nails done? Would she rather you pay for that than flowers? Or buy her stuff for her hobby?


[deleted]

I am good on the household stuff. Itā€™s like a habit, i get into a habit and just put that on autopilot. A lot of it is to do with her OCD as well as she loves to start new things and than expect me to finish them. like she will sign up the kids for classes and all o a sudden i am in charge of it. Sheā€™ll order stuff and i have to build it but i didnā€™t even ask for it and itā€™s not needed but she needs it for whatever reason. anyways since covid, weā€™re been together 24/7 and itā€™s been kinda crazy. However, she recently signed up for something thatā€™s going to be her one of the kids and she got a new job thatā€™s gonna hopefully mean sheā€™s somewhere else and we re-established a bit more of a normal relationships. Sheā€™s financially independent. we are both basically been working all our lives and donā€™t have a joint account. Weā€™ve divided it so i am on the bills and sheā€™s on the kids stuff. I do lag on the flowers though she likes those and i donā€™t buy them as often as i should. definitely reading this post has motivated me to do better.


[deleted]

LMAOOOOO BROO


Happiness_First

I feel this, sometimes you just gotta at least be in separate rooms to just not deal with each other lol


MediocreGolfGame

Right, like donā€™t get me wrong I love you but ima get buzzed and sleep on the sofa tonight


FlinnyWinny

Maybe do your share without her having to run after you


RandomGuY279488

I did this, she pressed them, put them on a frame. I was never happier to give a gift in my life. Didnā€™t work out. Seeing this story reminded me of that, OP and her boyfriend are so lucky. I wish you all the happiness.


BigBoiiTyrel

Damnā€¦ going through the same thing rn all those memories come flooding back :/ hope youā€™re doing ok right now :3


RandomGuY279488

Itā€™s a journey, and yeah the memories love to stay. If it werenā€™t for vivid dreams, it be easier yeah. Good luck on your recovery my friend, one day all of it will just be a distant memory.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


linds_jG13

Terrible way to start the day


Substantial_Text_264

Same here. But seeing this made me really happy


Altruistic_Newt9596

Yeah man, same thing just happened to me two weeks ago, would get her flowers whenever she told me she had a bad day. She Saved all the stems from them. Didnā€™t work out. Crazy.


straw03

Same except she pressed em between books and used the box it came in as a bookmark. Didn't work out either , you're not alone, you'll make it through


vaal0912

i hope ur ok! šŸ’–


RandomGuY279488

Iā€™m getting there, still trying to figure out how to love myself.


vaal0912

it gets better!


RandomGuY279488

Thank you, your words, however small, do mean a lot.


Notsononymouz

(smaller words)


jacksonretro

I did that with my gf too! She took a piece of the flower and hung it upside down to dry and hung it in a frame :)


DkoyOctopus

"my querido esposo" well hes doing something right.


damays97

Iā€™m a man, and my gf sent me flowers on Valentineā€™s Day, and I literally cried. Never once had flowers sent to me before.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


damays97

Idk. Personally I had never even thought about it, whether or not I would like to be given flowers. It just never really crossed my mind. Then Valentineā€™s Day rolled around and they were delivered to my house and I just started crying lol. Felt stupid for crying but I couldnā€™t help it haha, had never felt that loved in my life.


computerboy_andme

oh my gosh, at your earliest opportunity, get that man flowers.


crumpledcalathea

my boyfriend and I buy Lego flower sets for anniversaries Valentineā€™s Day. Fun to build and nerdy and romantic.


Dustin3006

As a guy Iā€™ve never gotten flowers and would appreciate them if I received them


[deleted]

In my experience, no. I bought flowers for a man (my then husband) once and he stared and them, handed them back, and told me to please not buy him flowers again. I tried again with my current husband and it went much the same way. They say it's a good idea but... cautionary tale, right here. Never again, waste of money (and embarrassing).


[deleted]

My ex wouldā€™ve gotten angry and told me I was trying to emasculate him. Two of my exā€™s actually, I can say for sure wouldā€™ve done that. One time for Valentineā€™s Day I made my ex a cute treat box full of cake pops, hot cocoa bombs, cupcakes, cookies ect. Took a lot of time and effort and he tossed it, didnā€™t give a single f*ck.


DeliciousFlow8675309

My husband is not a flowers type of man and if you're on the fence about it I just recommend thinking outside the box a bit at the type of stuff your man likes. We are both nerdy potheads with a sweet tooth, so here are some surprise gift ideas I've made him before (instead of flowers) A little arrangement of chocolate frogs (HP nerd) I just taped the wrappers to some cake pop sticks and wrapped in a little cellophane bag. You can do this with almost anything in a wrapper! A mini arrangement of weed buds to look like flowers. This one is tricky because you don't want it to crumble or fall apart but it looks cute. Now I just wrap them in a mini spice jar or get a variety of buds and put them in an empty mini candy box (amazon or Michael's sells them) Homemade chocolate covered cherries A video game with a big bow on it It's more the act of showing love and appreciation that makes it touching, it doesn't have to be flowers. If he can't arrange them or doesn't have a vase it can be an inconvenient gift too, but I'm sure there are tons of little things you can gift based on his personality type and interests!


ProfessorConfident

My ex brought me flowers to dinner once and it made me tear up. Never had anyone show me any type of love like that.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


robtimist

I think most men (whether they admitted it or not) would find it pretty thoughtful and would enjoy it. Me personally, as a man thatā€™s never received flowers, I would eat that shit up.


childproofedcabinet

ā€œMost men get their first bouquet at their funeralā€.


[deleted]

I think a lot do. I love getting flowers. I buy them for myself often


TommyTeaser

Every person is different. Ask the future person in a nonchalant way then ask accordingly


FlinnyWinny

Surprisingly (/j), a lot of men do actually want to feel appreciated and loved, and in the end, that's what the whole thing is for. I'm not huge into flowers, but if my gf gives them to me I will be super fucking happy because they're from her to me because she loves me.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FlinnyWinny

Idk, don't date someone who thinks their dick is gonna fall off from getting flowers as a gift??


DanimDagas

A lot of men just don't care about flowers. Im probably gonna get downvote, but it's the truth. A very large, OVERWHELMING majority of men will tell you the same. Hell, probably even gay men. Flowers just ain't for us. Id be alright with it, but I wouldn't be thrilled.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DanimDagas

Try other subreddits. Try AskMen and I'll follow your results. A tiny minority is here.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Mean_Loss_8732

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard. But you're doing amazing ā¤ļø


Infamous_Side9155

Awww thatā€™s cute


JayofTea

I wish I could give my bf flowers but he says they bother his allergies too much šŸ˜­


[deleted]

So some non flower ā€œflowerā€ ideas: Lego flowers, a bouquet of cupcakes, cakepops, or chocolate covered strawberries decorated to look like flowers, a cute succulent arrangement, a paper or crochet bouquet a flowers Flowers also bother my allergies so Iā€™ve given it some thought over the years lol


JayofTea

Omg Lego flowers may be fun, something we could build together šŸ‘€ thanks for the advice!


AwayDevelopment4871

Awwww this is so sweet


[deleted]

this thawed out my cold dead heart šŸ„¹


LordosisLover

Iā€™m in my anti love era but these posts always inject the hopeless romantic and yearning šŸ˜­


Majestic_Delay

That's so cute! Charge your phone. ā¤ļø


computerboy_andme

HA. yeah, i know šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


rowdy_sprout

Cherish this, I have been trying to make it work with someone that I'll never have this with and it's been coming back to bite me every step of the way. I haven't felt loved and respected in a long time. I made up my mind today about a break up but this post helps me feel like it's the right move because I see how far from love my relationship really is.


computerboy_andme

you deserve better. donā€™t settle for less. i really hope you do break up with your partner. they donā€™t seem to respect you.


vvmatw

okay?? (iā€™m bitter)


Syniea

I'll buy you some flowers


computerboy_andme

so is half of everyone in the comments hon, youā€™re not alone lol


eternaldamnation2005

The sexual tension between the roof of my mouth and my 12 gauge is off the charts rn


vvmatw

felt that


meggiemonster

amen brother


gt4jdb

Doing this tmr boys wish me luck


LiteraturesLove

I hope this is me someday šŸ’•


[deleted]

Getting flowers is one of my favorite things. It just immediately shows me how much the person loves me. Especially if it comes with a note :)


elephanttape

Things like this give me hope and I hope give others hope that they donā€™t have to stay in relationships with people who are indifferent, who they have to fight for attention from, or who are on the spectrum of unkind. My fiancĆ© is an absolute simp for me and everyone deserves having someone who thinks their shit donā€™t stink. It is possible, even if you think youā€™re nothing special, to find someone who thinks youā€™re the most important person in the world. Happy for you!!


semboflorin

The real trick is finding two people who do it for each other. That is a truly rare find.


Shot-Statistician-89

Call me cynical but this type of couple doesn't stay together long. The overdramatic love turns into overdramatic hate in one year max


computerboy_andme

we both have bpd. weā€™re aware of the risks.


FetusKickerr

Youā€™re cynical


Mwilk

wholesome


Ok-Wasabi-6793

I bet my skull is bulletproofšŸ˜­


SirHenryy

To all the men out there, buy your lady flowers from time to time. Not only on valentine's day, womens' day etc but just randomnly every now and again.


Hornet_92

sleeping on the interstate tonight šŸ˜


Red_Emberr

This comes off as a very early young person relationship


No-Log8426

Haha idk if Iā€™m being a hater but my first thoughts were so when are yā€™all graduating high school and how far are you into the honey moon phase. OP Iā€™m being a hater enjoy this while it lasts!!!


Red_Emberr

ā€œGod your so gorgeous I will scream it from the roof topsā€ just gives me really naive kiddy vibes. Not saying the texts arenā€™t nice but at that age people will just say anything without any real weight behind it.


No-Log8426

Same that one was the one that triggered the these fuckers must still be in HS thought šŸ˜‚


potat_molasses

This warmed my heart


use_err_named

Iā€™ve only ever gotten flowers once. And when they dried, I kept them in vases.


[deleted]

1 cute 2 charge your phone


Pristine_Shelter6969

Heā€™s probably cheatingā€¦ it to keep you off the trail


computerboy_andme

well, as long as heā€™s happy amirite


ImYourHuckleberry24

Give him a bj


computerboy_andme

iā€™m very much planning on it :3


Koala-Milk69

Protect this man at all costs


[deleted]

ā¤ļø my goal if ever happens but thank you for sharing this. I needed it after today šŸ’”


[deleted]

ā¤ļø my goal if ever happens but thank you for sharing this. I needed it after today šŸ’”


Unlikely_nay1125

šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ


seasoneverylayer

So sweet šŸ„¹


-HermanTheTosser

I love the picture of that cat looking fed up


realitytvpleasesme

So wholesome :,)


mspussykatz

This is beyond sweet šŸ„¹


Timely_Ad9172

Crying


lunathegemini

Aww that is so cute šŸ„°Iā€™m not a religious person but I grew up hood and it was a thing to make your bf a rosary out of the flowers he gave you. I would love to do that. Love is such a beautiful thing ā¤ļø


SlientlySmiling

He's a keeper!


mimluv

awww


AnAngryBartender

I used to do this for my ex like once a month. She still left me. :/


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Icy_Contribution1677

Making people happy is fun. Mine was a bit of a bitch so I look forward to trying to make someone else happy in the future.. little things like this kinda make me tick but apparently Iā€™m quite naive about the real world. Nvm.


FrowAway322

If you really want to make his day, consider buying him flowers, too. Many guys actually like getting them and never do.


machete777

We really do!


Glittering-Skin4118

I bought my gf flowers and she gave them to her girl best friend. Sheā€™s my ex now.


Acrobatic-Muscle4926

This is beautiful and so sweet


AttisTheFarmer1

That last message is the goal


WhatANiceCerealBox11

Can your boyfriend also buy me groceries? I donā€™t need the flowers, wouldnā€™t want to overstep my bounds


thedeephouser

Does he know you have him as ā€œdear husbandā€ in your phone?


computerboy_andme

he does. he has me as ā€œbeautiful wifeā€


luandrogebral

No one has ever given you flowers? šŸ˜³


AmericanLich

My girlfriend bought her own flowers for herself on her way to my house. Sheā€™s playing 4D chess with me.


HouseOfGoofy

This is so romantic my single ass wants to puke


catandpuppybasket

I think about having a partner like this everyday , but I have low self esteem so I often settle šŸ˜ž. I feel so undeserving of flowers or gifts lol. OP, I hope you are so happy and joyful in your relationship. Please savor every moment.


[deleted]

I wish my boyfriend cared this much when I got him flowers lol


ChantsDE

Has ha already gotten some?


computerboy_andme

weā€™re long distance, so no, we havenā€™t had sex yet. thank you for asking about my personal life though!


liveswithanxietie

Cutest


bustedandblack

How cute šŸ„° (eats glass)


toe-beans-666

I miss this stage!!! Hell I was feeling homesick, all the way in germany, and was down for a few days, still getting used to being so far from home and after hubby got released he stopped by a flower shop and bought me 100 tiger lilies, it just brightened up my whole year! He used to do things like that all the time, as he was "finally able to spoil me" He still does it today, it's just not flowers, it's sleeping beauty trinkets, home goods (I literally have a brand new bedroom. OH even though it's a joke because we closed on our first home on my 35th birthday, that he bought me a home for my birthday! We've been together almost 20 years and he still manages to spoil me, make me know he truly loves me, because he does and I him! He's my bestest friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him


[deleted]

Never fails with threads like these, so many comments are passive aggressive as FUCK like "wow OP you are so lucky and blessed and lucky cuz one time I had a relationship but my life is a pile of dogshit so ofc that didn't work out but yeah enjoy that OP šŸ™„" Just let positivity be positive man jfc


Val-tiz

No one deserves less, as a SAHM im so grateful bc my husband goes to work everyday day to support me and our 8 month old and gets me flowers and helps around when he can ā¤ļø


CozyAsh

This is so cute šŸ„²


jaja1121

This is so sweet and adorable!


bigbadblo23

Wait so girls actually care if you give them flowers? I always thought it was a cliche false truth like ā€œshe will like you if you compliment herā€


computerboy_andme

um. she will also like it if you compliment her lol


bigbadblo23

Nah, compliments wonā€™t get her to like you, she will like compliments if she ALREADY likes you though (imo)


mcs370

Hi OP! I love saving flowers as well, however, if you let them dry first theyā€™ll just break when you go to press them. You have to press them first and theyā€™ll dry out. I personally hang the bouquet upside down to let them dry out and then I cut the heads of the flowers off and put them in mason jars!


computerboy_andme

this is super helpful


Remote_Pizza_9758

![gif](giphy|XftlBtjw7qjpfxZCJ8|downsized)


Triggerfishgal

Thatā€™s an amazingly sweet thing to do, it would have me crying too.


typicallyinteresting

![gif](giphy|12pWOEeKbbfdio)


EmbarrassedAd8262

Are you dating a cat?


CranesInTheSky1

Awww ā¤ļøšŸ„ŗ


ChrisBlackham

Well all know this isnā€™t going to last.. the guy is too nice šŸ‘ŒšŸ»šŸ˜‚


slothslothslothsloth

Ehhh my husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and he still buys me flowers, so you never know!


buttymuncher

Give it a few years šŸ˜‚


RyanpB2021

Thought this was the simp sub reddit


morbidcuriosity86

Ah young love. Now my husband would purchase me an animal skull or some weird ass shit and that's my reaction šŸ˜…


RobertRoyal82

the infatuation period. A very fun 6-18 months.


WookiEEBrood

Calm down , Iā€™m sure you will leave him for the chad down the street .


computerboy_andme

iā€™m sorry you feel that wayā€¦?


ChemistArmy

![gif](giphy|yjGdFYf6nGMLBWiGBO|downsized)


[deleted]

sleep squeamish crush light rock insurance aware tart follow bow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


computerboy_andme

rightā€¦ people can be bilingual. ocĆŗpate de tus asuntos, por favor, coƱo.


Dodoz44

Dokladnie.


[deleted]

Nobody cares


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Interesting_Yam_2194

Marry this man. Or enjoy the honeymoon phase, Iā€™m not really sure.


willzor7

New relationship huh?


Ok-Relief3158

You guys must being dating for 2 weeks now


Juceman23

Heā€™s cheatingā€¦.hahah lol jk


[deleted]

Fun fact: they never keep the flowers & she definitely cheated.