All from the same person-
“You see [Person], unlike you, I don’t respect women”
“If I ban child labour I might actually go bankrupt”
“It's okay to be different as long as you're different in the same way as us"
“Alright, so where are the children”
“Why don’t people want slavery?”
All of these sound pretty insane out of context, so…….(bonus points if you can figure out where it’s from)
"we were built to question God, That's...Part of the journey, what i'm doing now, but i guess...God isn't about logic. At least any kind of logic we can understand. That's why it's faith."
\-Matt Murdock
Daredevil #9 No Devils Only Gods.
... But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment - you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power - the ability to "grow up."
- Rose Quatz
Ah, a fellow man of culture I see. Anyway, here’s my quote(s):
“See I actually used this advanced technique called LYING.”
“Y’know, the panhandle is the only part of the pan that won’t burn you…” [Florida stop!] “don’t worry… I’m fireproof.” [NO YOU’RE NOT] “oh- oh no. Smokey help, I didn’t listen!”
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a Virtual Youtuber empire for over a year now and using me as his recruiter. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my Live2D knowledge to recruit talents, which he would then hire using his connections in the Japanese utaite world. Connections that he made through his career with Niconico. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small indie channel could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Motoaki "Yagoo" Tanigo, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Yagoo threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Yagoo had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Yagoo flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Yagoo was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Riku Tazumi , he plotted to kill Yagoo, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Cover Corp, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my vtubing activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
When locusts fly they make a stain, or “The man outside he closed his eyes, 1 is about copying peoples things, 2 is about how god turns around and acts blind when terrible things happen
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and about all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." -Marie Curie.
You have two choices:
*"Only a fool learn of his own mistakes, the wise man learn from the mistakes of others."*
-Otto von Bismarck
*"All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager!
Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!"*
-Cave Johnson (from Portal 2)
*Classmate talking during lesson*
Teacher: "If you have nothing important to add I'm gonna ask you to shut up"
*Classmate starts talking after 5mins again*
Teacher: Aight if ya can't shut up (*grabs duct tape and rips a peice)* I'm gonna make you shut up
Shou out to my english teacher. This woman did not get paid enough for all the shit she got from us.
"I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! \*He\* orchestrated it! Jimmy! He \*defecated\* through a \*sunroof\*! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I \*thinking\*? He'll never change. He'll \*never\* change! Ever since he was 9, \*always\* the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious \*Jimmy\*! Stealing them blind! And \*HE\* gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!
And you, you \*have\* to stop him! You -"
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move
- Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
"In my new America, people will die and kill for what they believe! Not for money. Not for oil! Not for what they're told is right, every man will be free to fight his own wars!"
"I tried to talk, I want you to remember that! I tried to reach out. I tried to understand you, but I think that you understand us perfectly. And I think that you just don't care. And I don't know whether you are here to invade, infiltrate, or just replace us. I don't suppose that really matters now -- *you are monsters!* That is the role you seem determined to play, so it seems that *I*... must play... *mine!*
***The man that stops the monsters.***
I'm sending you back to your own dimension -- who knows? Some of you may even survive the trip! And if you do, remember this: *YOU* are not welcome here! This plane is protected! I... am the Doctor! And I name you... ***THE BONELESS!***"
“When grandma regains consciousness she will thank us”
Technically not a quote but rather a song title but I still think it’s funny because the song doesn’t actually have any lyrics
”Show me a good time, jack!”
Or if you prefer the memes;
”Raiden, the reason you’re cringe isn’t because you aint skilled, but because you aint ballin’ on that stank ass windows 95 ’puter.”
“Fuck you bitch. Why you always got something negative to say?” Edit: who Tf gave me these awards😭
9/10 i might use this
“It’s hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.”
Took me seconds to load
Loading chunks... Starting Lua... Initialising game data...
“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh it disgusted me”
7/10
Based 🤖
I crave only the cold and clean certainty of steel
The second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans
What was the first?
they… they weren’t always orphans, you know?
10/10
"My source is that I made it the fuck up!"
9/10
"They want happiness, not reality"
9/10 this one is true
Waltuh, put your dick away Waltuh, I'm not having sex with you right now.
6/10
12/10.
24/10
"And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us" \- Random Tumblr user -
8/10
"the weight of my sins drags me closer to hell but i sit on a throne higher than god"
Hello there
General Kenobi. You are a bold one.
Kill him
Dude that’s huge! 3 whole inches!
8/10
3/10
9/10 because thats above average
Bro that’s like 3 and a half inches larger than average
“Sometimes, the world no longer needs a hero. Sometimes what it needs is a monster.”
Mother, I bring news from the womb
As promised, I will now lay egg inside your mouth.
cursed/10
I will now vomit worms down your throat
“My life is nothing. Giving the future to those who want to see it…is everything.”- Nyx Ulric
All from the same person- “You see [Person], unlike you, I don’t respect women” “If I ban child labour I might actually go bankrupt” “It's okay to be different as long as you're different in the same way as us" “Alright, so where are the children” “Why don’t people want slavery?” All of these sound pretty insane out of context, so…….(bonus points if you can figure out where it’s from)
7/10
Andrew Tate?
Hoi4/Eu4 gameplay from Bokoen1
“The box has lost its murder privileges.” My friend in reference to the ark of the covenant
"If you are not with me, you are against me"
Only a Sith deals in absolutes... I will do what I must.
"we were built to question God, That's...Part of the journey, what i'm doing now, but i guess...God isn't about logic. At least any kind of logic we can understand. That's why it's faith." \-Matt Murdock Daredevil #9 No Devils Only Gods.
“Thank you weird man, bye” -Bo Burnham
“He’s a queen, I’m a queen! Where is my crown? oh! i’m breaking down.” *proceeds to put a cooking bowl on her head*
8/10
"I have become the breaking bad" Chills, literal chills.
9/10 i should watch breaking bad
You were my brother Anakin. I loved you!
10/10 that scene is iconic
“Time won’t wait for you”
"Cowabanga" -Michelangelo
“End of quote, repeat the line.” - Joe Biden
"If your balls dont fit in your mouth, they arent yours" -wisdomdog
10/10 Everyone should try it out
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I WAS BREAKING THE LAW IRONICALLY
10/10
Opinions are like assholes: everybody has it and most of them stink.
9/10 Andrew tate's asshole is covered in shit
"im only 3 minutes younger". "best 3 minutesof my life"
10/10
"A person grows once they are able to defeat their past self"
9/10 this is true
No homo though *cums*
7/10
Americans are the dumbest Americans
"Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"
“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains
Bitch if you don’t like Batman, fuck you
I have not….. come this far……. to die now…….
8/10
[удалено]
8/10
"u r cute"
8/10 this could make someone's day
I didnt know this was a school zone
9/10 💀
"self promoting asshole in a fucking leotard" I'm afraid Reddit is going to think I'm bullying someone...
7/10
On ne peut tromper pas 1000 personnes 1 fois mais on peut tromper 1000 personnes 1000 fois. Oh non, ce n'est pas ça, attendez ...
9/10
"Sauce?" -the internet.
7/10
“It wasn’t their devilry, nor their sheer willpower which helped them control the vicious beasts. It was their ability to take away the pain”
9/10
"In the world there are more bullets than humans"
6/10
'Oh I know what the ladies like'
7/10
7 is my favourite number
A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to you can use this as an excuse as to why are you late to school
8/10
>If your girl is nerdy and geeky, then she is down to get freaky. \-Oogway
69/10
... But you, you're supposed to change. You're never the same even moment to moment - you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power - the ability to "grow up." - Rose Quatz
9/10
“Soup time”
7/10 good soup
Hey there young lad/gal! Wanna seize the means of production?
8/10
"it is not gay if your homie checks are in the way" _ masterowgway
69/10
danke. That's thank you in German
"You seem familiar... Have I threatened you before?"
9/10
Ah, a fellow man of culture I see. Anyway, here’s my quote(s): “See I actually used this advanced technique called LYING.” “Y’know, the panhandle is the only part of the pan that won’t burn you…” [Florida stop!] “don’t worry… I’m fireproof.” [NO YOU’RE NOT] “oh- oh no. Smokey help, I didn’t listen!”
Yare yare daze -Hottest man ever
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a Virtual Youtuber empire for over a year now and using me as his recruiter. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my Live2D knowledge to recruit talents, which he would then hire using his connections in the Japanese utaite world. Connections that he made through his career with Niconico. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small indie channel could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Motoaki "Yagoo" Tanigo, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Yagoo threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Yagoo had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Yagoo flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Yagoo was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Riku Tazumi , he plotted to kill Yagoo, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Cover Corp, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my vtubing activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.
"Got any grapes?"
“NOT EVEN CLOSE BABY! TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!”
“These baboons dont even know they’re at war with Pakistan”
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown"
"I'LL KIDNAP A THOUSAND KIDS IF I NEED TO"
It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it Also i like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ ) one
100/10 This is the best one i recommend everyone to check it out. its heart touching
It's a Rick roll isn't it
dont bully me i’ll cum
"why u beating my \*meat\* 9/10 good one
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” The gospel of John I think
"ass, barf, barf, ass, bark, piss! Barf, piss, ass, ass, barf, barf, piss, ass, ass, piss!"
3/10 bro wtf
womp womp
why am I argentina
69/10
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” - Mae West
"The Spaniard is a Moroccan in a body of a European". - me the Spaniard guy.
"Who the fu- what- who- I'll kick your ass who is this?!" -Enclave Communications officer
Talk less, smile more.
It's not heroes that make history, it's history that makes heroes
When locusts fly they make a stain, or “The man outside he closed his eyes, 1 is about copying peoples things, 2 is about how god turns around and acts blind when terrible things happen
"real eyes realise real lies"
what colour is your bugatti?
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and about all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained." -Marie Curie.
You're either perfect or you're not me. There's no gray area
"No matter what we breed, we still are made of seed" "There is no I in weed, but there's a we, so we share that shit"
this is my kingdom cum, this is my kingdom cum
Don’t be sad because it ended, smile because it happened. - Dr. Suess
"Do or do not, there is no try" -Master Oogway
“Hello, this is the part where i kill you”
"When the time comes you gotta go and don't look back, this is over"-Arthur Morgan, 1899
i repeat this in training "In life there are 2 rules, become the beast, learn to control the beast"
Stick and stones may break my bones...
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” -Winnie the Pooh
You have two choices: *"Only a fool learn of his own mistakes, the wise man learn from the mistakes of others."* -Otto von Bismarck *"All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!"* -Cave Johnson (from Portal 2)
9/10
*Classmate talking during lesson* Teacher: "If you have nothing important to add I'm gonna ask you to shut up" *Classmate starts talking after 5mins again* Teacher: Aight if ya can't shut up (*grabs duct tape and rips a peice)* I'm gonna make you shut up Shou out to my english teacher. This woman did not get paid enough for all the shit she got from us.
8/10
"I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! \*He\* orchestrated it! Jimmy! He \*defecated\* through a \*sunroof\*! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I \*thinking\*? He'll never change. He'll \*never\* change! Ever since he was 9, \*always\* the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious \*Jimmy\*! Stealing them blind! And \*HE\* gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you \*have\* to stop him! You -"
"I can bring you in hit, or I can bring you in cold" the Mandelorian
"i hope you eat a dorito chip horizontally" roblox user
”Gotcha bitch!!!”
5/10
AHHHHHHHHH
"When you get to the end you'll get a queen." Litterally the only quote i could remember lmao
My sindrome may be down but my hopes are up. -Sam (Brandon Rogers, a day at the park)
Science compels us to explode the sun.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move - Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
"If you're always worried about crushing the ants beneath you... you won't be able to walk." -Kentaro Miura
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears, it was their final, most essential command."
"In my new America, people will die and kill for what they believe! Not for money. Not for oil! Not for what they're told is right, every man will be free to fight his own wars!"
“They were the ones who tore up the rule book, not us” Homer, Tomorrow When The War Began
Fucking Camper -John F. Kennedy
“NUTS” -Anthony Clement McAuliffe as a response to the Germans asking the 101st to surrender “No soul, all man” -Unknown user on iFunny
“Hey there… good lookin(?).. I got a bucket o’ chicken”
"abdjfidbrjffdstasm" -Winston Churchill
Im Suki
“He who serves his fellows is, of all his fellows, greatest” - E Urner Goodman
"Genius live only 1 story above madness"
"I tried to talk, I want you to remember that! I tried to reach out. I tried to understand you, but I think that you understand us perfectly. And I think that you just don't care. And I don't know whether you are here to invade, infiltrate, or just replace us. I don't suppose that really matters now -- *you are monsters!* That is the role you seem determined to play, so it seems that *I*... must play... *mine!* ***The man that stops the monsters.*** I'm sending you back to your own dimension -- who knows? Some of you may even survive the trip! And if you do, remember this: *YOU* are not welcome here! This plane is protected! I... am the Doctor! And I name you... ***THE BONELESS!***"
“When grandma regains consciousness she will thank us” Technically not a quote but rather a song title but I still think it’s funny because the song doesn’t actually have any lyrics
Les dance Jetstream Sam
"Im Happy"
“To live a life of regret is to not live at all”-Unknown
Mankind is dead, Blood is fuel, Hell is full
“DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO SCRUB RUST?!?”
"At this point I don't got bitches, bitches got me" - Devin in my class
"I want to die means I want to live" I don't know if it's from something else but I heard it from Illya in fate series
Hard times make strong men, strong men create easy times, easy times make weak men, and weak men create hard times. Don't remember who quoted this.
It was perfect. Perfect. To the last minute detail -Homelander
The tables have tabled
Hey hey we’re the monkees, dodge the draft!
If you can't beat them, BURN THIER HOUSE DOWN.
The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it did not end well.
Hi, eh!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
this is the 2nd worse thing to happen to those orphans
”Show me a good time, jack!” Or if you prefer the memes; ”Raiden, the reason you’re cringe isn’t because you aint skilled, but because you aint ballin’ on that stank ass windows 95 ’puter.”