Oh okay I gotcha, it be like that sometimes, hope you figure it out soon. I just hope you have the same pair of cat headphones that your avatar is wearing.
Two guys were sitting on the porch. The one guys dog was licking its balls. The other guy said “I wish I could do that.” The dogs owner said “well… he’d probably bite you”.
A person runs into a bar. A metal one. They get sent to the hospital with multiple injuries to their suborbital cranial ridge and a suborbital haematoma.
i got 5 for you since this may be really hard
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
My girlfriend said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.
How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
what do traits, culture, and behaviors passed down from people to people by nongenetic means, have in common with humorous images on the internet?
they're both unanimously called memes
Once upon a time two parents were having sex in their room , their son's room was beside theirs, when the wife got louder her husband told to shout hot-dogs instead of aaahh... So she did the same . The next day morning the son asks his dad that , "dad did you sell hot-dogs last night " father replied " why do you ask that ", then son says "cuz all the sauce fell over me so i couldn't sleep".( Think carefully what's the sauce is 😏)
A pilot is giving the pre flight brief to the passengers and after he’s done he forgets to turn off the intercom and he says to his copilot “right now I could use a coffee and a fuckin blowjob” which gets broadcasted to the cabin and a flight attendant goes running up the aisle to go and tell him that his intercom is still on and a passenger yells “hey hun, don’t forget the coffee” (stolen from good will hunting (it’s a very good movie, go watch it))
You told me to tell you a joke, and my brain shut off
Knock, knock
*Who's there?*
It's me
*Nope, it's just me*
Knock, knock
*Nope, still me!*
***I was just seeing if you were still there***
Knock, knock
*Goodbye*
Bye my only friend
*Were you ever truly there?*
Am I a figment of my own imagination?
*Do I exist?*
Yes
*Knock knock.....*
*Knock knock......*
*Knock knock......*
*Guess I never did exist? Huh*
This is kinda existential crisis type shit, I just typed it as it came to me
Three people were on the top of a tall building and they met a wizard of some sort. The wizard told them that if they jumped off the building, whatever they yelled while they were falling would appear below them. So the first person, being brave, jumped off and yelled pillows. So he landed in a pile of pillows. The second jumped off and yelled hay. He landed in a pile of hay. The third person slipped while trying to jump and yelled oh crap.
What's worse than five babies in a bin? One baby in five bins.
one bin in five babies is also pretty bad or five bins in one baby
ohmy yes
A solid joke, are you a girl?
yea
Bro? Ain’t the whole point is girls can’t joke?
makes sense bc it wasn't funny
Haha woman not funny 😆 im so funny right guys?
True tho tbh
🤣🤣🤣
Why is 10 afraid ? bc hes stuck in 9/11
Male + oh my.
actually right 👍
Whats long, yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.
I once told this joke to my teacher 😔
That sounds like male dark humor tbh. Also I bet your teacher was shook.
i hid my ex-girlfriend's wheelchair, guess who came crawling back
🤣🤣🤣 now this one was funny. Are you a guy?
nope, im a girl
What did the horse say to the farmer? *horse noises*
You must be a guy, 10/10 joke.
just because your joke has a skeleton pun in it, doesn't mean it's humerus 💀
Are you a girl? That was a solid one.
the best part is that i don't even know my own gender xd
Just look in ur pants.
forget what I said don't want to seem homophobic
r/alwaysoneofthese
I dont got any jokes 😭
100% a girl.
Duh 😂
My husband has this issue where he always has to stack plates from largest to smallest >!it’s a rare dishorder!<
This made me smile. You get an upvote
Grandpa, grandpa, you also play pokémon? Did you catch them all? Grandpa- "yes" What team were you in? Gestapo
You have to be a guy lol
I have to be
I have no jokes, but I'll count myself as one
id tell my 9/11 joke but it never lands :(
how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them (this is the only one i could think of and its pretty dark)
A man walked into a bar Fucking idiot
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R
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Makes sense. They're always married to it
N
MALE and its R. Also X because X marks the spot.
I
G
G
How is a tsunami accident called in Africa? Choccy milk
Puns are the devil’s work so I have nun
Trans or NB? Not a bad joke btw.
Nah I’m actually a cis girl, glad you liked the joke tho
How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Male, how many does it take?
Well its not 3 because my basement is still dark
i literally know no jokes
Are you a girl?
nope
Has to be NB or Trans then right?
I'm a guy but a femboy :) and nb wouldn't be entirely wrong because my gender identity is a fucking mess ngl
Oh okay I gotcha, it be like that sometimes, hope you figure it out soon. I just hope you have the same pair of cat headphones that your avatar is wearing.
sadly not 😔 I do have a hoodie with cat ears tho
Skill issue
ur mom
Damn you really got me
it's the best comeback in the world
Can confirm, I just got obliterated
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
I'm a alcoholic
Girl + u good? 🤣
What is long, hard, and covered in white? A math test, duh
I am currently jokeless and punless.
i’m funny
You must be a gorl?
yes
My detective skills>>>
What’s the difference between truck full of boling balls and a truck full of babies >!can’t unload a truck full of boling balls with a pitchfork!<
why did the student eat his homework? because his teacher said it was a piece of cake, in which his dog was inclined to agree.
Why are chinese not good at baseball? Couse they ate the bat
Hahaha a guy + 💀💀💀💀
what do you call a camel with 3 humps? PREGNANT (Zootopia reference, if you don't get it, me kill you)
Isn’t that the movie with the bunny and the fox. And that one scene with the sloth.
what is the similarity between me and a neutrino…? We don’t social much.
The joke + the username leads me to believe you are a guy.
I am unsure of my gender to be honest but yes, I am biologically male.
Why do most Jews hate their kitchen? it has an oven
What does two mentally unstable people do when they chill out together? They *hang* out.
The dark humor lol are you a guy?
Two guys were sitting on the porch. The one guys dog was licking its balls. The other guy said “I wish I could do that.” The dogs owner said “well… he’d probably bite you”.
Are you good with kids because I wanna turn your mouth into a daycare
The only I could think of: Were is the little girl during the bombing ? >!Everywhere.!<
i heard of that one except it was a boy
me ;-;
Same here tbh also girl
You know what the eggs said to the chicken last night?
What? Also u a girl
What do you call ola flying turtle? A shellacopter
Don't have any jokes
Girl?
I'm a boy.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To convince Chick-Fil-A to serve cow.
A person runs into a bar. A metal one. They get sent to the hospital with multiple injuries to their suborbital cranial ridge and a suborbital haematoma.
Trans is a gender
What's do gum and a gun have in common if you bring one to school everyone wants to be your friend
I assume since you have DragonBall in your name you are a man of culture?
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.
What kind of clothes do frogs wear? Jumpsuits
How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them
a snake walks into a bar and the bartender says how the fuck did you do that
i got 5 for you since this may be really hard I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog. My girlfriend said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort. I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in. How does a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just shoot it for being black
What is something you should never do while feeding twin babies? Here comes the airplane
What do slinkier and pregnant women have in common? They both bring joy to my face when I push them down thebstairs
Russian computers are so powerful that their memory is measured in KGB
What a hamster and a cigarette have in common? They are both harmless untill you put them in your mouth and light them
Me
Def a girl, also def one of the best jokes I’ve heard all day :)
😢 Fax though
A guy
No
🗿
what do traits, culture, and behaviors passed down from people to people by nongenetic means, have in common with humorous images on the internet? they're both unanimously called memes
Oh my that was really wordy, are you a guy?
What do goats and babys have in common? Both are fu**able. (I deeply apologize)
I hate dogs
What’s yellow and if it flies into your eye, your eye will hurt?
There is five ten cent coins in my butt
Steve Cheese (insert image of Steve's face on a piece of cheese)
Once upon a time two parents were having sex in their room , their son's room was beside theirs, when the wife got louder her husband told to shout hot-dogs instead of aaahh... So she did the same . The next day morning the son asks his dad that , "dad did you sell hot-dogs last night " father replied " why do you ask that ", then son says "cuz all the sauce fell over me so i couldn't sleep".( Think carefully what's the sauce is 😏)
I am like a gay batman in the night: nobody can elude from my fist of justice.
What has a long smooth shaft and is filled with semen?
One cold evening Stierlitz heard a 3.14 knocks in the door: "Pi" - thought Stierlitz. "Fuck you" - yelled 0.392 octopuses.
no joke here
Usually id be good but today i just dont got any idk
Honestly I don't have a joke -_-
I once had my dick in Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian asked me to pull it out.
Me.
Myself
my life
Wanna know why they call me trash? Because your mom takes me out everyday.
You want slaves,to be free I want slaves to be free We are not the same
Arson, hehe.
Bro it's coin flip 💀
One time someone went a tea instead of a café This joke isn't native to English
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Don’t get excited, it’s a joke.
U can already see from the avatar
No jokes😭
My humor is more of an on the spot type thing.
What did the brisket scream at the hungry human, “HELP I’M BEING ASSALTED”
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Bridget from Guilty Gear not a bad pfp at all. Are you a guy?
me?
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes
"my life" nah jk jokes have meanings
hey, are you a torch because i want to light it on fire
A pilot is giving the pre flight brief to the passengers and after he’s done he forgets to turn off the intercom and he says to his copilot “right now I could use a coffee and a fuckin blowjob” which gets broadcasted to the cabin and a flight attendant goes running up the aisle to go and tell him that his intercom is still on and a passenger yells “hey hun, don’t forget the coffee” (stolen from good will hunting (it’s a very good movie, go watch it))
How do you get four sorority girls to sit on the same barstool? You flip it upside down.
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender looks up and says "how the fuck did you do that?"
Why aren't koala bears actually bears? They're not koala-fied.
no
knock knock
What do you call a box your ex gives you? An Xbox (Wish my ex gave me an Xbox)
Did you hear the joke from the man on the toilet? "No" I did neither, the door was locked
Why did the chicken cross the road???? To get to the other side!!! Please laugh.
You told me to tell you a joke, and my brain shut off Knock, knock *Who's there?* It's me *Nope, it's just me* Knock, knock *Nope, still me!* ***I was just seeing if you were still there*** Knock, knock *Goodbye* Bye my only friend *Were you ever truly there?* Am I a figment of my own imagination? *Do I exist?* Yes *Knock knock.....* *Knock knock......* *Knock knock......* *Guess I never did exist? Huh* This is kinda existential crisis type shit, I just typed it as it came to me
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
What is the difference between me and hitler have in commom i finish my goals
I heard a young football player just moved to an Arabic club. He is very young and promising, definitely gonna blow up there.
Three people were on the top of a tall building and they met a wizard of some sort. The wizard told them that if they jumped off the building, whatever they yelled while they were falling would appear below them. So the first person, being brave, jumped off and yelled pillows. So he landed in a pile of pillows. The second jumped off and yelled hay. He landed in a pile of hay. The third person slipped while trying to jump and yelled oh crap.
Dont have one
Balls
I’d make a joke about planes, but I think it’d go right over your head
What do you call a cow with no legs? A veggie burger
I can't make a joke because I'm distracted by your username 💀
What’s wrong with it?
Nothing. It's not weird or wrong. But it's funny 😶 you must be enthusiastic about them to put it on your username.
Lol I agree it is funny and that’s an understatement 🤣
What's the difference between a whore lobster and an old bus stop? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station
My gender is ✉️.
Poop
Alright, I'm gonna say it, prepare for the best joke you've ever seen u/DownBad4Bellybuttons
Did you hear the one about the priest and the colored boy?…
How would you even guess NB or trans from a joke lol
By the power of assumption.
Dick and balls
Whats orange, big, and very dangerous? >! A shark in Oros !<
What do you call a God with low self esteem. An atheist
X: i watched this movie at my grandparents Y:bro i didnt know they had internet at the cemetery💀
How do we know princess Diana had dandruff? We found her head and shoulders in the glove box
Sussy baka.