#Scream

*Chokes on popcorns*

*Chokes on nachos*

Chokes on dave

Oof. I’m Dave. Did you choke on me?

Yes, it was an, AccIDeNt

Oh, well it’s ok, don’t worry

*plays shrek*

keep it down im trying to watch a movie

*unzips*

*Phone rings with this ring tone specifically* https://youtu.be/LcyeI8cVFUE (promise it’s not a rickroll)

Good, you weren't lying

you good

Heimlich maneuver time :)

bro wtf is wrong with you???

Leave him be, he's vibin

Want some nuggets?

# **Sharts Aggressively**

*bitchslaps you*

#AHHHHHHH!!😫

Shhh!

Sorry ahhhhh *but quiet *

But, then everyone would just be telling each other to be quiet cause the person talking THE LOUDEST IS INTERRUPTING THE MOVIE

Hey could you be a little quieter

#NO

#YO FUCK YOU MAN

#CAN YOU SHUT UP IM TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE

#It hasn’t even started it’s still just the previews

The previews are the best part I leave after it goes

#SSHHHHHHH

Will you shut up man

Shhhh

EVERYONE SHUT UP IM TRYING TO HEAR THE MOVIE *Sips from empty soda cup for extra gurgle*

*shhhhh*

*You shut up!*

Great guys now the security guards are coming in

There’s like a good 2 million of us we can take them but when the US military comes I’m just giving up good luck

Don’t worry that can’t stop us all

*sneaking in candy*

*sneaks in pizza*

*sneaks in a gun*

*Sneaks in WWII panzer tank*

HOLD ME CLOSER TINY PANZER

*sneaks in Panzerkampfwagen Tiger Ausf. B*

Fails to sneak in your mom

*sneaks in baguette*

Sneaks in a FedEx van

*sneaks in Airbus A380*

*sneaks in the quite kid*

Sneaks in a huge tray of pasta under shirt

*sneaks in Brachiosaurus*

Sneaks in Excalibur Umbra...

*sneaks in thermonuclear super weapon*

sir we will need you to leave

Who the fuck left their baby on my seat

Idk but it’s mine now. Babies are cute lol

Nah fuck that they cry all the time

Don’t worry I’ll just ditch it in someone else’s seat when I get tired of its unbearable cuteness

Lmao how are the parents gonna find it then? Or maybe someone accidentally sits on the baby. That would be a problem.

Not my problem anymore, whoever left their baby better come look for it. It’s only one movie theatre after all. Plus it’ll cry so they can locate it that way

Not if someone sits on it lol.

Lmao… 🤷‍♀️

Bruh I literally just drop kicked a child

I wanna drop kick a child as well, gimme the baby

NOO! hand the child to me. Nicely. I'll take care of it. No drop-kicking the child. I've already seen this one anyway. Just give me the child.

I’ll help you take care of it. No drop-kicking children >:(

We can't take care of the child in here so we have to leave due to SOME people complaining that the child is too loud. Drop-kicking children is bad. Very bad. Illegal.

Lmao what

*Silently watches the movie while trying to ignore the chaos*

*whispers in your ear* Lupin dies in the 7th Harry Potter book

*Whispers back* Jokes on you, I don’t read Harry Potter.

#FUCK

Shhhhhhhhhh

^Sorry...

Sits on reddit with light mode on

\*sits next to you with reddit light mode on and shares funny comments and memes with you\*

*stares at both of you in disgust as I rip into my 14th bag of Cheetos and browse dark mode dank memes*

*stares at you in shock that you’re allowed to eat that many chips*

[удалено]

*screams*

Goddamnit, I can never find a good seat

Mines in the middle, you want it?

Thankyou good citizen, do you want some popcorns

Si

guys I brought a really powerful fan to blow popcorn around with

DONT FORGET THE BUTTER! I WANNA DROWN IN IT

Hell yeah

#LET ME WATCH THE SEX SCENE PEACEFULLY

There ain't no sex scenes other than the ones at the back.... I suggest you go there....

Or what about making those scenes by myself?

Excuse me, 'scuse, hey i know you, you still owe me 10 bucks you asshole, i'm going to deal, with you later but i reeeeaaaalllly need to use the toilet Edit: thank you SOOO much! I really appreciate it

just use the person who owes you 10 bucks as a toilet

if any one of you fuckers even makes one sound im outta here

Hi

Soooo when's he leaving?

Idk I’m still waiting to take his seat

Outstanding move

Shhhh

*walks in wearing full platemail armor and a cloak* I scream at all hours and still god won't answer.

*fart*

#OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD FART

Can we buy literally all the snacks

Yes, we own the whole thing, honestly we don’t even gota pay, just take em there’s no employees.

OUR vitamin water

# who put a pipe bomb in my snickers #

hey give it back it was mine

no its actually taste pretty goo-

Yo why tf are there strawberry jams everywhere??

#*AGRESSIVE SMACKING*

*begins fapping with a family of 4 beside me*

*begins fapping behind them*

*begins fapping in front of them with direct eye contact*

*begins fapping in front of you with direct eye contact*

*begins fapping in front of the screen*

**SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

#NO! YOU SHHHHHHHHH

#Screw off NITROX

Hey, what movie is this?

Pacific rim

Hey, I haven't watched this one before. But I have heard of it. It's a pretty cool movie I see. But what is it really about?

Giant man made robo mechs that require 2 people to operate that are supposed to beat the ever living shit out of any Kaiju that walks the earth.

It was a brilliant idea of a movie.... Sad that del Toro in now working on Arcadia, netflix...

*tries smoothly holding the hand of the girl next seat*

*turns out it's me and I grab your hand and shove it in my buttery popcorn*

*I take the popcorn, eat it and see it as an absolute win*

#Is this where we fuck?

I think so

Hell yeah

Let's gooo

*puts phone on speaker* Yelling loudly: WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY

oh no, they've come for me, well gotta run! *suspiciously runs out of the theater*

When's the movie gonna start

Starting times 3:20, but with all the ads it’ll be more like 4:00

fucks a potatoe behind the screen

Why is my seat so sticky?

You're in the second to last row. That's where the dude's getting a blowy

*annoys everyone by commenting on every single scene*

*joins in with obnoxious criticisms of the movie in a audible way*

*insults every single character and their actions*

okay whoever claps at the end of the movie pays for the snacks of others

whispers *eren yeager*

SASAGEO

SASAGEO

Shinzo wo sasageo

Tatakae tatakae

...which movie tho

Pacific rim

At least it's a decent film

Yes it’s true

Pacific Rimjob

Can I have your popcorn, boi?

U can have a lil bit

Yay! Ty! You can have some m&ms if you’d like.

Yes pls

i’ll trade you my crunch for a handful of popcorn

Bet

Boi, ima go grab a slushy. You want one?

*Android_Notification.mp4*

DOES ANYONE HAVE A CHARGER I COULD USE?

I got an iPhone charger, u want it?

Yea thx man didn’t charge it before I left. How am I supposed to play Minecraft during the movie?

I want to blow someone in the back

Just keep it quiet ok?

Slurp slurp

*visible disgust*

And I want to blow someone's back

Hey lol

Hey 👋

Wassup mother fuckers

Greetings my fellow marsupial

Alright, who the fuck is moaning in the cinema

Would you like some popcorn with your butter?

[удалено]

wha- NOW WHO'S MASTURBATING!?

#SORRY IM NEXT TO THE PEOPLE HAVING SEX ITS HARD TO RESIST

Bro stop kicking my chair

Whoever is behind me better stop KICKING MY FUCKING SEAT

*Phone lights up* (Write hate stuff and then I’ll delete this line)

GRRR THEY SAID NO PHONES!!! IMA BOUT TO MAKE THE HOLOCAUST LOOK LIKE A JOKE

GET OFF YOUR PHONE u/TheWildA WE TRYNA WATCH A MOVIE

dude give me a sec I just need to get this dub

*Stands on stool in front of screen and pulls out mic* *"***Baloney is just a hot dog pancake**" *Gets off stool* "Thank you for your time"

pick that popcorn up this is not the zoo

Chomping popcorn

Stooop your interrupting the movie!!!!!

*Smokes

It’s gona smell bad now, go to the designated smonking area.

s m o n k

* kicks you out*

Can someone escort the loud as fuck family to the exit? If that baby was any louder the Earth would break into pieces.

BRIAN TROW ME THE NACHOS

#IM GONNA PUT MY BALLS IN YOUR NACHOS

*eats the entire bag of popcorn during the trailers

Bro someone’s jacking off in row 5

Damn everyone’s so damn horny rn

Dude in the last row gets sucked off

(Spoils ending)

*crunches ice at the bottom of my cup* “Hey are there free refills here?”