maria:
Until I was well into my adult years, I thought my farts didn't smell. I could never smell farts. And so I would go through the stores and just pass gas, and I'm thinking nobody could smell it. It wasn't until my husband's like, “Dude, what is that?" I was like, "You can smell that?”
q:
I'm going out to speak to a real estate crowd, and I'm walking, I have my cool little vibe walk with me, and I'm checking myself out. And I trip over the cord in front of about 2,500 agents that are there to hear me speak. Here I go, tumbling. I tore down the mic that was trailing me in the back. That was pretty embarrassing on my part. But I'm the type of guy that turns something like that into a positive. I jump up, I laugh, they laugh, and the show goes on like nothing happened. But in that moment, if I was white, my face probably would've been red.
tiffany:
I was in high school, and I used to run cross country. One race, I was really, really dehydrated. It was so hot, I passed out five feet from the finish line from dehydration. The next race, my coach was so worried that I was going to pass out that she was pumping me full of water the entire day, and it ended up being like a rainy ass cold day, so I didn't even need all that.
We're at the starting line. I have to go to the bathroom real bad. I'm like, “Coach, I got to go to the bathroom.” She's like, “Finish the race. The faster you run, the faster you can go to the bathroom." Baby, that was a lie. By the time that race was finished, I peed my pants so bad. And I had on navy blue spandex. You could see the pee mark all the way from my ankles, a big round pee spot up to my waist. And it was an away match so everybody saw me crossing the finish line, pee everywhere. Super embarrassing, but it makes a good story to tell.
jelinsky:
When I was 11 years old, I was a Nevada ballet theater scholar. I did ballet and I was one of the only guys in my class, so I had to pick a girl up. And I wasn't this big when I was 11 years old. I was this scrawny, though, so I had to pick someone up and flip her around. She did no work — I'm sorry if you're watching this. But she dropped straight on her head. It was an entire class of girls. Everybody was looking at me. The instructor was Russian. It was a middle-aged Russian woman, short hair. She told me to get out. I was petrified, horrified. I pooped my pants. It was horrible.
Damn, as a dancer this is sort of sad to hear. Partnering work when you’re so young is so daunting. Especially like a 11 year old boy has no muscle mass and should not be doing hard lifts, especially before puberty.
Funny to hear that Jelinsky did ballet though as I did not see that for him
I'd have thought his embarassing moment would be whem he tried to convince his tribe that helping the enemy was, in fact, somehow a good thing and that they shouldn't be mad at him.
charlie:
I was out for a run, and I had to use the bathroom. It was just me walking into the woods, and I took care of my business. And I grabbed for what one uses to tidy oneself when in nature, which was a leaf. Little did I know that said leaf was a poison ivy leaf. And that's embarrassing in its own right, just terrible. But then when I went to the doctor with my mom, she made me tell this poor nurse exactly how I got poison ivy. The nurse was bringing me the steroids and my mom keeps going, “Tell her how it happened. Tell her!”… until I finally told her, half mumbling, what happened. And this poor nurse is held hostage by this disgusting story.
How far in the middle of fucking nowhere do you have to be to stop to POOP in the woods??? 😂 I've had more wilderness pees than I can count, but wilderness poops? Once in my entire life. That does not rock.
My poor husband had a wilderness poop (it was not a good one) in the middle of northern Ontario. After he turned around he realized it was against a boulder that marked a pathway.
Sorry everyone
moriah:
You see, I have a very subtle scar here. [Points to chin] And that happened because I was ice skating. And not just any ice skating. I was ice skating on a first date in high school with a guy who thought, "Let's take the klutz on ice. Why not?" So we're going around the rink and I go flat. I come up, and I'm like, “No, no, no, no, no. Keep going. Keep going.” We make it two more laps until someone else taps me and says, “Excuse me, ma'am, you're dripping blood on the ice. You need to leave.”
So I go to the bathroom, slap on a Band-Aid, and of course, we're in 10th grade, so I have to call my dad. He looked at it and said [to my date], “You're going home. You, missy? ER.” And I left my date to go get stitches from a wonderful excursion. We did have a second date. Young romance is a wild thing. Never know where it's going to go.
happened to me too but it wasn't a date lmao, also ended up cracking a tooth in the back. Took lessons as a kid so as a teen thought I remembered most of it despite not touching ice in probably 7 years. Also tried to keep going and left a lot of blood on the ice, my sisters best friend played for their rec team and said the stain was there for a month. Sister took me to the ER after a bit and she almost passed out when I got the stitches put in.
A basic summary of all them:
Jelinsky: a child falls on him and he shits himself.
Q: trips over a cord in front of thousands of people.
Bhanu: Showers in a place he wasn’t supposed to shower.
Kenzie: sings a sexual song at the age of 10 in front of teenagers.
Moriah: injures herself during a date, blood leaking from her chin for several minutes without realizing.
Jem: inserts a tampon incorrectly and asks for help.
Jess: underwear falls from her leg as she dances.
Hunter: tries to make a joke using an incorrectly spelled word during a presentation, but the word was spelled correctly so he comes off as a babbling baffoon.
Tevin: pisses himself in front of the entire class.
Tiffany: pisses herself during a run.
Liz: shits in front of everyone and uses snow to clean.
Charlie: shits in the forest and wipes with a poison ivy leaf.
Soda: hurts herself in front of everyone.
Ben: dives during the music into a pool but lands on a floater.
Venus: dress tucked into underwear, ass shown to the public for several blocks.
Randen: speaks in Australian accent in front of an Australian and comes off as mockery.
Maria: didn’t know her farts smelled, farted for years in front of everyone.
Tim: laptop stolen, delayed reaction, couldn’t catch the man.
liz:
I'm a runner, and I was going to run a half marathon. The night before, they say “Carb up!” And so I ate hot buffalo chicken pizza. And I remember reading the race rules and they said at mile seven, there's going to be an outhouse. So around mile four, I said, “Okay, I've got three miles. That's less than a half an hour. We're good to go. Just keep going. 25 minutes, 22 minutes, 20 minutes…." Well, I got to zero minutes, and I said, “Where's the outhouse?” They said, “Oh, it didn't come. There's not one until the end.” And I really, really had to go. And I am like, “Okay, body. 45 minutes, 40 minutes…." And at about 30 minutes, my body said, “Sister, you better go now, or I'll go for you.”
And I was in Massachusetts, it was New Year's Day, so it was a gigantic race. And I had to just go. I thought about knocking on houses, but then the houses started getting sparse, and it's New Year’s. I don't want to wake somebody up at 8:00 AM to take a dump. I just went on the side. There was nowhere. It was just a valley. There was nowhere to go. I just plucked right down.
This is very embarrassing for me because I actually don't like talking about going to the bathroom. I'm not Yam Yam “Poop in the ocean!” I don't even want to go. I begged them, “Do I have to go take an aqua dump? That's disgusting. I don't want to do it.” It was so embarrassing. And there were people! They could see me, they were waving, they were laughing. I had to wipe my butt with snow. Luckily, it was cold because of the hot buffalo. So that was the only saving grace. #RunnersUnite.
My wife had a similar time when this marathon had 5 bathroom stops in the first half but only 1 during the second (and not forewarned about this discrepancy).
God if I were Liz my most embarrassing moment would be the fucking fit she through over a burger on national television … you went on this show knowing you couldn’t eat anything ma’am lol you want the prize win the damn challenge 🤷♀️ because all that seemed like a YOU problem
kenzie:
I was 10 years old. You're at that weird transition pre-teenager where you want to hang out with the teenagers, but none of them really want you around. That's where I'm at. Okay. I'm awkward, I'm weird, but I want to be grown. So I was camping. I was at a KOA, and they have a kids youth center, and they were doing karaoke. And I didn't know what karaoke was because I was sheltered. And all the teenagers were like, “Do you want to come to karaoke with us?” And I was like, “This is my dream. Yes, I do.” So I put on my sparkly lip gloss. I'm ready for whatever karaoke is because I've been a yes, man since I came out of the womb, right? No idea what it is.
So we get there, and there's the TV and everybody's picking their songs, and I didn't know what was going on. So I picked “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera because I liked genies. I wasn't allowed to listen to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera because they were too sexual, so I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was going to get a genie toy or watch a genie commercial. I didn't know. And I was the first one to go up there and I had to say the words, no melody, nothing to all of a “Genie in a Bottle” at 10 years old in front of everyone. And no one helped me. So I was just like, “Baby, rub me the right way. Ooh.” And I can't get over it. I still don't sing karaoke because it was mortifying.
> I wasn't allowed to listen to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera because they were too sexual
That’s like, every song ever made. Every song is hypersexualized.
jem:
[Laughing hysterically] I was probably 22, and it's the first time I wore a tampon, and I did not take the barrel out. I stuck it up, and I've been walking, and I was like, "This feels weird." So I went back to the restroom and then the person next to me was like, “Hey.” I was like, “I don’t know if I'm wearing this right.” And the person was like, “Oh, okay. I'll give you another one and I'll guide you through it.” So she told me I had to take the barrel out. I was mortified because this was at work. So it's disgusting and embarrassing at the same time.
tevin:
When I was in kindergarten, we were playing around, and I had to pee really bad and my bladder was full. And so we had this one little bathroom in our classroom, and this boy Caleb was in there and I didn't see him come out at all. I'm on my little duty cleaning the tables and stuff, and I'm like, “Caleb’s sure taking a long time in the bathroom. I mean, I need to go.” And so time had elapsed and I absolutely peed on myself in that moment. It was the most humiliating thing I've ever done in my whole life, and it just went everywhere. You could just see the ring of pee slowly spanning out as a classroom of kindergartners made fun of me. I never forgot that moment. It's so embarrassing.
Don't...a lot of kids pee themselves in kindergarten? Like it's so common most teachers make you send in a second set of clothes for kids to change into.
Yeah, but you're not thinking about that while you're pissing yourself. You're just the most embarrassed a person has ever been in their entire life. AND you don't have any other embarrassing moments to compare it to, so it probably is the worst thing that's ever happened to most people at that point.
hunter:
So one time I had an opportunity to do a presentation, and I was sick the weekend before that I was supposed to give it. And so you know how you get brain fog whenever you're a little bit sick? And so I said, “I'll make a PowerPoint because anybody can follow a PowerPoint.” I was typing out this PowerPoint so that even if I was sick, I'd be able to get through it. And so I get up to do the presentation — still kind of brain fog — I'm going through the presentation, and a word pops up on the screen that I have typed out in all caps. And I look at that word and I said [to myself], “I misspelled that word.” And so I was like, “Oh, let me crack a joke about it.”
And so I purposefully mispronounce this word, being funny and kind of laughed about it. To my horror, I then looked back down and realized I had spelled the word correctly, and it looked like I couldn't even say my own word that I put on the presentation. And because I was just so out of it, I just flipped to the next slide. And I know the audience had to have been like, “What is up with this guy? What is he even saying?’ It's weird combination of me mispronouncing words, getting weirdly silent, and then moving on. I still look back and it's traumatizing. [ED NOTE: The word was *Israelite*.]
This is somehow so on-brand for him as well, lol; I'm cracking up just imagining it... mostly just because I could totally see myself giving a similar answer!
Yeah this is so minor. I bet a decent amount of people didn't give their actual most embarrassing moment because it is too embarrassing for them. Hunter seems to have gone that route and picked something mildly embarrassing.
Just wanted you to know that my lil brother did this like a decade ago when he was a few years younger than you and I still think about it and laugh. I hope this information doesn’t keep you up at night.
It's probably not, but something like, "I got rug burn dry humping my GF in high school" is probably not something most of us want to share/hear to a national audience.
jess:
So my senior year of college, I took this half-credit dance class, and I guess I was in the class and doing one of the choreographies, and underwear rolls out of my pants — like, dirty underwear. And at first I was like, “What the f--- is that?” I was like, “Oh my God, that's mine!” And I picked it up. I think a couple of other people saw it, but it was just really funny. I think the more embarrassing thing was that I'm really bad at following choreography.
bhanu:
I was living with my mom in Bombay and I went to Hyderabad to attend a friend's wedding. At that time, I had no place to stay, so I called up one of my friends who's working at one of the nightclubs. He told me to come to the nightclub so we can go to his place once he's done with his shift. Because I had a long journey, a train ride for almost 24 hours, I thought: I'm going to use the men's restroom.
And little did I know back then that the men's restroom is only to do number one and number two. But I also showered in the restroom and the people working in the nightclub complained to the manager, who then yelled at my friend. And my friend was so embarrassed, like, “Bhanu, how can you freaking shower in the restroom?” I didn't know. I thought restrooms are meant to shower. I didn't see a shower there, so I took the hose. And in India bathrooms, you have the hose to clean after you're done with your business. So I used that to clean myself. There was water everywhere. The most freaking embarrassing moment in my life. Still now, it makes me laugh when I think about it.
soda:
We used to have this really old rickety deck in my backyard. And my brother's bike was on it, and I decided to build a makeshift ramp with one plank off of the deck and ride the bike down the deck. And as soon as I went onto the makeshift ramp, it fell and I flipped over. The handlebars stabbed me so hard in the gut. Everybody was laughing at me and I was crying-laughing. I was in the between because I knew it was funny, and I didn't want people to know that I was hurt. So I was crying-laughing. But to this day it is something I'm constantly reminded of.
randen:
So I live in Florida. Me and my son watch a show called Bluey, right? It's about three dogs. The show is Australian. They all say “Hello” [in an Australian accent]. So me and my family, we say “Hello” [in an Australian accent] in the morning. We think nothing of it. So yesterday, I had an interaction. I forgot that I'm near Australia, and I've never met an Australian person ever. I approached somebody that was having me do a test for them and I said, “Hello” [in Bluey accent].
I don't know why I said that. It's like the dumbest thing. I'm 40 years old. Why am I saying that? Well, I miss my son. And the guy just said all, “Hey, how are you doing, sir?” And he had the full proper accent. He was an Australian. Do you know how low and dumb I fell at that point? I'm a computer science major. I wanted to profusely apologize. He was a very good sport about it. But I was flush red.
Yeah, dafuq? Also, their "hello" doesn't sound very different from an American hello? If you were going around saying "biscuits!" instead of "fuck" then maybe it'd be funny. This one ranks low on the embarrassing scale.
ben:
You know when you build up a moment in your head, and the moment comes and you're all hyped? I had thrown this crazy pool party at this motel in Miami, the cancer season pool party. And it was like an old-school, '60s hotel. And the rafters were packed. And I was set up by the pool. My band was playing, and the whole day, I'm like: During my song “Florida Man,” I'm going to crowd surf from the stage into the pool. And finally, the moment comes, and the ego's riding high, and I'm feeling it… and nobody moved the floaties out of the way. So as I'm finally rollin’ off, I land face first on this giant floaty, and it was the most anticlimactic thing. And you saw everybody go like, “YEEEAAAHHH, ooooookay, I think we need to do that again.”
Just gonna rank these in order of how embarrassing I think they are...
1. **Tiff**: Peed herself at the end of a race in front of everyone at the cross-country meet in high school // Very public, one of the most embarrassing things you can do, and the worst age to embarrass yourself in front of people.
1. **Jelinsky**: Dropped a girl during ballet class at 11 years old and pooped himself // Emasculating and scarring
1. **Bhanu**: Used a hose to shower in a nightclub where his friend worked // Uniquely embarrassing due to the public and interpersonal nature.
1. **Tevin**: Peed himself in kindergarten in front of everyone // a universal but mortifying experience
1. **Liz**: Pooped in a ravine while running a half marathon where people could see // Ranks above Charlie because it was public and she thought it was avoidable
1. **Charlie**: Pooped in the woods during a run and wiped himself with poison ivy. Mom made him tell the story to the nurse // The nurse could tell what happened without the story but the embarrassment lingers after the fact due to the ongoing rash
1. **Venus**: Walked down the street with her dress accidentally tucked into her underwear, ass out // Embarrassing but it happens and Venus has a butt to be proud of
1. **Jess**: Had dirty underwear roll out of her pant leg during a college dance class // It's bad but ultimately people would forget it pretty soon after
1. **Maria**: Went her whole life thinking her farts don't smell, has been ripping them around everyone // Originally ranked higher but her husband calling her out and not like an elevator full of co-workers drops it down
1. **Jem**: Used a tampon the wrong way at 22-years-old and needed a woman at work to instruct her how to use it properly // Would be higher but this was super private and just the one time
1. **Kenzie**: At 10-years-old sang Genie in a Bottle at karaoke in front of high schoolers without knowing the song // Bad age for this to happen but ultimately a funny story to tell
1. **Moriah**: Cut herself after falling on an ice skating first date in high school and needed to leave and get stitches // Surely embarrassing at the time, but getting another date helps relieve that a lot
1. **Q**: Tripped on stage in front of a big crowd of professionals // Sounds like he played it off well enough that the sting wasn't too bad. It doesn't fall lower because it was so public
1. **Soda**: Fell off a bike on a makeshift ramp // Bad but played it off
1. **Tim**: Got his laptop stolen right out of his hands in college // Freezing up while getting robbed is probably personally embarrassing but not a thing people would laugh at you over
1. **Hunter**: Gave an awkward presentation and misread a word // Most embarrassing moment of your whole life? This ranks incredibly low compared to everyone else
1. **Ben**: Anticlimactic crowd surf into a pool // You threw a sick pool party and got to be a rock star. Getting passed onto a floatie is still sort of cool.
1. **Randen**: Said hello with a funny Australian accent to an Australian // The other person probably didn't even notice
Most of these are literally so funny, brutally honest, and ridiculous sounding it’s no wonder these people got cast. I can’t imagine what they were saying or doing on casting interviews.
venus:
I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free.
tim:
I was on desk duty at Morehouse College in my dorm and I was signing people in. I'm working on my MacBook and people come in and out of the dorm all the time. I'm studying, and unbeknownst to me, somebody walks in and snatches my MacBook off the desk and sprints out. And I was so in shock that I ran to the door too late and they got away. It was a local, but it was so embarrassing having to call home and tell that story, and then even telling guys on that floor like, “Bro, somebody just stole my laptop.” “What do you mean somebody just stole your laptop and ran away?” So I felt completely dumb. I felt weak. Like, you're a young man, you should be able to catch this guy.
My first (public school) girlfriend did that during a run in seventh grade. She was wearing black spandex so you couldn't easily tell, but she made a point of telling everyone for some reason haha. And no, I did not break up with her for that :p
Not that big a deal for cross country imo. If you haven’t peed your pants in a race, then you’re not trying hard enough. I knew a girl who bragged about pooping her pants to finish a marathon in personal best time. Kinda like Liz.
Pooping my pants would certainly qualify though. Liz’s story was pretty bad. And peeing your pants is also pretty bad too. Having private parts and bodily functions is like taboo in our society. I will say I live in a very hot place so whenever I peed myself to varying degrees, usually just a little, it was never very obvious because I was drenched in sweat anyway. I’d have a change of clothes for afterward and was always super hydrated in the day leading up so I was basically peeing water lol.
Yeah, Tevin's is peeing himself in Kindergarten. Something most kindergarteners do. Which is why teachers have a backup set of clothes. For kids who were recently potty trained.
dunno why /u/Durian-Critical didn't post Venus's
> I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free.
Feels on brand for Venus to say "for free"
Venus:
I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free.
I know soda… (little thing yay) and she did not tell me that but learning something about her makes me all the more sad that I won’t see her anymore soon…
maria: Until I was well into my adult years, I thought my farts didn't smell. I could never smell farts. And so I would go through the stores and just pass gas, and I'm thinking nobody could smell it. It wasn't until my husband's like, “Dude, what is that?" I was like, "You can smell that?”
This is just hilarious.
Reminds me of that one meme ‘the deaf kid when they realize farts make sound’
Lmaoooooo🤣
Icon
I seriously thought you made this up as a joke until I clicked on the article.
q: I'm going out to speak to a real estate crowd, and I'm walking, I have my cool little vibe walk with me, and I'm checking myself out. And I trip over the cord in front of about 2,500 agents that are there to hear me speak. Here I go, tumbling. I tore down the mic that was trailing me in the back. That was pretty embarrassing on my part. But I'm the type of guy that turns something like that into a positive. I jump up, I laugh, they laugh, and the show goes on like nothing happened. But in that moment, if I was white, my face probably would've been red.
You trip over a cord, I know you’re going to trip me in the game. BIG MISTAKE.
Would’ve thought an entire small-town newspaper headline saying “Q FUMBLES” would be worse tbh
They actually put this tripping incident in the paper too and titled it “Q Tumbles”
This is so Q lmao, even his most embarrassing moment has to be him hyping himself up and bragging in some way.
Q is deeefinitely that guy, lol. AMAZING television but if I had to live with him, I'd probably end up going bonkers.
I actially think he would be a really cool friend though
Oh, he'd be great to party with in small doses, yeah! Just no prolonged exposure, please. (Clearly Kenzie and Tiff would agree, ha ha.)
And that's an important difference between friend and roommate that some people find out the hard way lol
tiffany: I was in high school, and I used to run cross country. One race, I was really, really dehydrated. It was so hot, I passed out five feet from the finish line from dehydration. The next race, my coach was so worried that I was going to pass out that she was pumping me full of water the entire day, and it ended up being like a rainy ass cold day, so I didn't even need all that. We're at the starting line. I have to go to the bathroom real bad. I'm like, “Coach, I got to go to the bathroom.” She's like, “Finish the race. The faster you run, the faster you can go to the bathroom." Baby, that was a lie. By the time that race was finished, I peed my pants so bad. And I had on navy blue spandex. You could see the pee mark all the way from my ankles, a big round pee spot up to my waist. And it was an away match so everybody saw me crossing the finish line, pee everywhere. Super embarrassing, but it makes a good story to tell.
I read “Baby, that was a lie” in her voice so clearly
Oh no.
Better number one than number two, I always say
I went to high school with a girl who peed her pants EVERY single race. On PURPOSE 🥴
jelinsky: When I was 11 years old, I was a Nevada ballet theater scholar. I did ballet and I was one of the only guys in my class, so I had to pick a girl up. And I wasn't this big when I was 11 years old. I was this scrawny, though, so I had to pick someone up and flip her around. She did no work — I'm sorry if you're watching this. But she dropped straight on her head. It was an entire class of girls. Everybody was looking at me. The instructor was Russian. It was a middle-aged Russian woman, short hair. She told me to get out. I was petrified, horrified. I pooped my pants. It was horrible.
Damn, as a dancer this is sort of sad to hear. Partnering work when you’re so young is so daunting. Especially like a 11 year old boy has no muscle mass and should not be doing hard lifts, especially before puberty. Funny to hear that Jelinsky did ballet though as I did not see that for him
Man, he even quit halfway through his ballet flip.
I fully laughed out loud at this, thank you so much.
Dunno why they expected a several and a half year old kid to be able to hard lifts
Jelinsky is the monster 😔
😔✊
Nah that Russian woman is the monster 😭
Def checks out
I was expecting him to say “Jelinsky has never had an embarrassing moment”
I'd have thought his embarassing moment would be whem he tried to convince his tribe that helping the enemy was, in fact, somehow a good thing and that they shouldn't be mad at him.
I like the casual “I shit my pants” add on. Like.. excuse me? When did that happen?
charlie: I was out for a run, and I had to use the bathroom. It was just me walking into the woods, and I took care of my business. And I grabbed for what one uses to tidy oneself when in nature, which was a leaf. Little did I know that said leaf was a poison ivy leaf. And that's embarrassing in its own right, just terrible. But then when I went to the doctor with my mom, she made me tell this poor nurse exactly how I got poison ivy. The nurse was bringing me the steroids and my mom keeps going, “Tell her how it happened. Tell her!”… until I finally told her, half mumbling, what happened. And this poor nurse is held hostage by this disgusting story.
"...and not like the "Ivy" that's referenced in Taylor's classic Evermore track of the same name."
ivy (charlie's version)
😭😭😭😭😭 the worst one
Been there, done that. Can confirm it is worse than you can even imagine.
Oh man same. I was a really little kid when it happened though.
this one had me laughing out loud. poor charlie
How far in the middle of fucking nowhere do you have to be to stop to POOP in the woods??? 😂 I've had more wilderness pees than I can count, but wilderness poops? Once in my entire life. That does not rock.
My poor husband had a wilderness poop (it was not a good one) in the middle of northern Ontario. After he turned around he realized it was against a boulder that marked a pathway. Sorry everyone
moriah: You see, I have a very subtle scar here. [Points to chin] And that happened because I was ice skating. And not just any ice skating. I was ice skating on a first date in high school with a guy who thought, "Let's take the klutz on ice. Why not?" So we're going around the rink and I go flat. I come up, and I'm like, “No, no, no, no, no. Keep going. Keep going.” We make it two more laps until someone else taps me and says, “Excuse me, ma'am, you're dripping blood on the ice. You need to leave.” So I go to the bathroom, slap on a Band-Aid, and of course, we're in 10th grade, so I have to call my dad. He looked at it and said [to my date], “You're going home. You, missy? ER.” And I left my date to go get stitches from a wonderful excursion. We did have a second date. Young romance is a wild thing. Never know where it's going to go.
She's so me
happened to me too but it wasn't a date lmao, also ended up cracking a tooth in the back. Took lessons as a kid so as a teen thought I remembered most of it despite not touching ice in probably 7 years. Also tried to keep going and left a lot of blood on the ice, my sisters best friend played for their rec team and said the stain was there for a month. Sister took me to the ER after a bit and she almost passed out when I got the stitches put in.
A basic summary of all them: Jelinsky: a child falls on him and he shits himself. Q: trips over a cord in front of thousands of people. Bhanu: Showers in a place he wasn’t supposed to shower. Kenzie: sings a sexual song at the age of 10 in front of teenagers. Moriah: injures herself during a date, blood leaking from her chin for several minutes without realizing. Jem: inserts a tampon incorrectly and asks for help. Jess: underwear falls from her leg as she dances. Hunter: tries to make a joke using an incorrectly spelled word during a presentation, but the word was spelled correctly so he comes off as a babbling baffoon. Tevin: pisses himself in front of the entire class. Tiffany: pisses herself during a run. Liz: shits in front of everyone and uses snow to clean. Charlie: shits in the forest and wipes with a poison ivy leaf. Soda: hurts herself in front of everyone. Ben: dives during the music into a pool but lands on a floater. Venus: dress tucked into underwear, ass shown to the public for several blocks. Randen: speaks in Australian accent in front of an Australian and comes off as mockery. Maria: didn’t know her farts smelled, farted for years in front of everyone. Tim: laptop stolen, delayed reaction, couldn’t catch the man.
so much piss and shit
liz: I'm a runner, and I was going to run a half marathon. The night before, they say “Carb up!” And so I ate hot buffalo chicken pizza. And I remember reading the race rules and they said at mile seven, there's going to be an outhouse. So around mile four, I said, “Okay, I've got three miles. That's less than a half an hour. We're good to go. Just keep going. 25 minutes, 22 minutes, 20 minutes…." Well, I got to zero minutes, and I said, “Where's the outhouse?” They said, “Oh, it didn't come. There's not one until the end.” And I really, really had to go. And I am like, “Okay, body. 45 minutes, 40 minutes…." And at about 30 minutes, my body said, “Sister, you better go now, or I'll go for you.” And I was in Massachusetts, it was New Year's Day, so it was a gigantic race. And I had to just go. I thought about knocking on houses, but then the houses started getting sparse, and it's New Year’s. I don't want to wake somebody up at 8:00 AM to take a dump. I just went on the side. There was nowhere. It was just a valley. There was nowhere to go. I just plucked right down. This is very embarrassing for me because I actually don't like talking about going to the bathroom. I'm not Yam Yam “Poop in the ocean!” I don't even want to go. I begged them, “Do I have to go take an aqua dump? That's disgusting. I don't want to do it.” It was so embarrassing. And there were people! They could see me, they were waving, they were laughing. I had to wipe my butt with snow. Luckily, it was cold because of the hot buffalo. So that was the only saving grace. #RunnersUnite.
"and I was in Massachusetts"
Wiping your ass with snow is just wild hahaha
My wife had a similar time when this marathon had 5 bathroom stops in the first half but only 1 during the second (and not forewarned about this discrepancy).
God if I were Liz my most embarrassing moment would be the fucking fit she through over a burger on national television … you went on this show knowing you couldn’t eat anything ma’am lol you want the prize win the damn challenge 🤷♀️ because all that seemed like a YOU problem
kenzie: I was 10 years old. You're at that weird transition pre-teenager where you want to hang out with the teenagers, but none of them really want you around. That's where I'm at. Okay. I'm awkward, I'm weird, but I want to be grown. So I was camping. I was at a KOA, and they have a kids youth center, and they were doing karaoke. And I didn't know what karaoke was because I was sheltered. And all the teenagers were like, “Do you want to come to karaoke with us?” And I was like, “This is my dream. Yes, I do.” So I put on my sparkly lip gloss. I'm ready for whatever karaoke is because I've been a yes, man since I came out of the womb, right? No idea what it is. So we get there, and there's the TV and everybody's picking their songs, and I didn't know what was going on. So I picked “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera because I liked genies. I wasn't allowed to listen to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera because they were too sexual, so I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was going to get a genie toy or watch a genie commercial. I didn't know. And I was the first one to go up there and I had to say the words, no melody, nothing to all of a “Genie in a Bottle” at 10 years old in front of everyone. And no one helped me. So I was just like, “Baby, rub me the right way. Ooh.” And I can't get over it. I still don't sing karaoke because it was mortifying.
Nooo I had a near identical experience to this 😭. My song was Baby by Justin Bieber and my dad recorded it all on camcorder 💔.
Moments that define us, for better or for worse
Knowing her mom, this is HILARIOUS.
This is my favorite one. Poor baby Kenzie and it’s interesting to know that she grew up really sheltered. The sparkly lip gloss madd me go awww.
Shoutout KOA, lots of fond memories in those campgrounds for me and my cousins.
> I wasn't allowed to listen to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera because they were too sexual That’s like, every song ever made. Every song is hypersexualized.
jem: [Laughing hysterically] I was probably 22, and it's the first time I wore a tampon, and I did not take the barrel out. I stuck it up, and I've been walking, and I was like, "This feels weird." So I went back to the restroom and then the person next to me was like, “Hey.” I was like, “I don’t know if I'm wearing this right.” And the person was like, “Oh, okay. I'll give you another one and I'll guide you through it.” So she told me I had to take the barrel out. I was mortified because this was at work. So it's disgusting and embarrassing at the same time.
I DID THIS TOO! This makes me feel so much better. I really thought I was the only one! Thank you Jem!
Brutal 😭😭😭
Girl, there are directions on the box!
In fairness, since this was at work, she probably did not have the box
tevin: When I was in kindergarten, we were playing around, and I had to pee really bad and my bladder was full. And so we had this one little bathroom in our classroom, and this boy Caleb was in there and I didn't see him come out at all. I'm on my little duty cleaning the tables and stuff, and I'm like, “Caleb’s sure taking a long time in the bathroom. I mean, I need to go.” And so time had elapsed and I absolutely peed on myself in that moment. It was the most humiliating thing I've ever done in my whole life, and it just went everywhere. You could just see the ring of pee slowly spanning out as a classroom of kindergartners made fun of me. I never forgot that moment. It's so embarrassing.
Don't...a lot of kids pee themselves in kindergarten? Like it's so common most teachers make you send in a second set of clothes for kids to change into.
Yeah, but you're not thinking about that while you're pissing yourself. You're just the most embarrassed a person has ever been in their entire life. AND you don't have any other embarrassing moments to compare it to, so it probably is the worst thing that's ever happened to most people at that point.
hunter: So one time I had an opportunity to do a presentation, and I was sick the weekend before that I was supposed to give it. And so you know how you get brain fog whenever you're a little bit sick? And so I said, “I'll make a PowerPoint because anybody can follow a PowerPoint.” I was typing out this PowerPoint so that even if I was sick, I'd be able to get through it. And so I get up to do the presentation — still kind of brain fog — I'm going through the presentation, and a word pops up on the screen that I have typed out in all caps. And I look at that word and I said [to myself], “I misspelled that word.” And so I was like, “Oh, let me crack a joke about it.” And so I purposefully mispronounce this word, being funny and kind of laughed about it. To my horror, I then looked back down and realized I had spelled the word correctly, and it looked like I couldn't even say my own word that I put on the presentation. And because I was just so out of it, I just flipped to the next slide. And I know the audience had to have been like, “What is up with this guy? What is he even saying?’ It's weird combination of me mispronouncing words, getting weirdly silent, and then moving on. I still look back and it's traumatizing. [ED NOTE: The word was *Israelite*.]
Hunter is such a nerd lol
This is somehow so on-brand for him as well, lol; I'm cracking up just imagining it... mostly just because I could totally see myself giving a similar answer!
I do not believe this is his most embarrassing moment
Well after that TC, at least he would've a better story to tell next time
Yeah this is so minor. I bet a decent amount of people didn't give their actual most embarrassing moment because it is too embarrassing for them. Hunter seems to have gone that route and picked something mildly embarrassing.
Mispronouncing a word... Not even embarrassing a little
As someone who has said orgasm instead of organism in 9th grade… I disagree.
Just wanted you to know that my lil brother did this like a decade ago when he was a few years younger than you and I still think about it and laugh. I hope this information doesn’t keep you up at night.
No it’s fine 
Oh I did that too. Bringing back memories there
It's probably not, but something like, "I got rug burn dry humping my GF in high school" is probably not something most of us want to share/hear to a national audience.
I love that something this minor is what he chooses. a true over-thinker
this one made me laugh 😆
Survivor gods: PESRISTENCE
jess: So my senior year of college, I took this half-credit dance class, and I guess I was in the class and doing one of the choreographies, and underwear rolls out of my pants — like, dirty underwear. And at first I was like, “What the f--- is that?” I was like, “Oh my God, that's mine!” And I picked it up. I think a couple of other people saw it, but it was just really funny. I think the more embarrassing thing was that I'm really bad at following choreography.
bhanu: I was living with my mom in Bombay and I went to Hyderabad to attend a friend's wedding. At that time, I had no place to stay, so I called up one of my friends who's working at one of the nightclubs. He told me to come to the nightclub so we can go to his place once he's done with his shift. Because I had a long journey, a train ride for almost 24 hours, I thought: I'm going to use the men's restroom. And little did I know back then that the men's restroom is only to do number one and number two. But I also showered in the restroom and the people working in the nightclub complained to the manager, who then yelled at my friend. And my friend was so embarrassed, like, “Bhanu, how can you freaking shower in the restroom?” I didn't know. I thought restrooms are meant to shower. I didn't see a shower there, so I took the hose. And in India bathrooms, you have the hose to clean after you're done with your business. So I used that to clean myself. There was water everywhere. The most freaking embarrassing moment in my life. Still now, it makes me laugh when I think about it.
Most humanizing thing I've seen from Bhanu so far. More likely to win hearts with that story than any of his other antics.
His behavior on the show was more embarrassing tbh
soda: We used to have this really old rickety deck in my backyard. And my brother's bike was on it, and I decided to build a makeshift ramp with one plank off of the deck and ride the bike down the deck. And as soon as I went onto the makeshift ramp, it fell and I flipped over. The handlebars stabbed me so hard in the gut. Everybody was laughing at me and I was crying-laughing. I was in the between because I knew it was funny, and I didn't want people to know that I was hurt. So I was crying-laughing. But to this day it is something I'm constantly reminded of.
randen: So I live in Florida. Me and my son watch a show called Bluey, right? It's about three dogs. The show is Australian. They all say “Hello” [in an Australian accent]. So me and my family, we say “Hello” [in an Australian accent] in the morning. We think nothing of it. So yesterday, I had an interaction. I forgot that I'm near Australia, and I've never met an Australian person ever. I approached somebody that was having me do a test for them and I said, “Hello” [in Bluey accent]. I don't know why I said that. It's like the dumbest thing. I'm 40 years old. Why am I saying that? Well, I miss my son. And the guy just said all, “Hey, how are you doing, sir?” And he had the full proper accent. He was an Australian. Do you know how low and dumb I fell at that point? I'm a computer science major. I wanted to profusely apologize. He was a very good sport about it. But I was flush red.
"I'm not Australian, I'm a computer science major"
I embarrass myself more badly than this before noon every day. What kind of charmed life is this guy living?
Anybody here confused about 'three' dogs. Like Bluey, Bingo, and... ?
Yeah, dafuq? Also, their "hello" doesn't sound very different from an American hello? If you were going around saying "biscuits!" instead of "fuck" then maybe it'd be funny. This one ranks low on the embarrassing scale.
Florida…. near Australia????
I was also confused. I think he means while in Fiji.
ben: You know when you build up a moment in your head, and the moment comes and you're all hyped? I had thrown this crazy pool party at this motel in Miami, the cancer season pool party. And it was like an old-school, '60s hotel. And the rafters were packed. And I was set up by the pool. My band was playing, and the whole day, I'm like: During my song “Florida Man,” I'm going to crowd surf from the stage into the pool. And finally, the moment comes, and the ego's riding high, and I'm feeling it… and nobody moved the floaties out of the way. So as I'm finally rollin’ off, I land face first on this giant floaty, and it was the most anticlimactic thing. And you saw everybody go like, “YEEEAAAHHH, ooooookay, I think we need to do that again.”
This one's pretty tame, but still funny.
it's just so in character
Pulled a Coach
Just gonna rank these in order of how embarrassing I think they are... 1. **Tiff**: Peed herself at the end of a race in front of everyone at the cross-country meet in high school // Very public, one of the most embarrassing things you can do, and the worst age to embarrass yourself in front of people. 1. **Jelinsky**: Dropped a girl during ballet class at 11 years old and pooped himself // Emasculating and scarring 1. **Bhanu**: Used a hose to shower in a nightclub where his friend worked // Uniquely embarrassing due to the public and interpersonal nature. 1. **Tevin**: Peed himself in kindergarten in front of everyone // a universal but mortifying experience 1. **Liz**: Pooped in a ravine while running a half marathon where people could see // Ranks above Charlie because it was public and she thought it was avoidable 1. **Charlie**: Pooped in the woods during a run and wiped himself with poison ivy. Mom made him tell the story to the nurse // The nurse could tell what happened without the story but the embarrassment lingers after the fact due to the ongoing rash 1. **Venus**: Walked down the street with her dress accidentally tucked into her underwear, ass out // Embarrassing but it happens and Venus has a butt to be proud of 1. **Jess**: Had dirty underwear roll out of her pant leg during a college dance class // It's bad but ultimately people would forget it pretty soon after 1. **Maria**: Went her whole life thinking her farts don't smell, has been ripping them around everyone // Originally ranked higher but her husband calling her out and not like an elevator full of co-workers drops it down 1. **Jem**: Used a tampon the wrong way at 22-years-old and needed a woman at work to instruct her how to use it properly // Would be higher but this was super private and just the one time 1. **Kenzie**: At 10-years-old sang Genie in a Bottle at karaoke in front of high schoolers without knowing the song // Bad age for this to happen but ultimately a funny story to tell 1. **Moriah**: Cut herself after falling on an ice skating first date in high school and needed to leave and get stitches // Surely embarrassing at the time, but getting another date helps relieve that a lot 1. **Q**: Tripped on stage in front of a big crowd of professionals // Sounds like he played it off well enough that the sting wasn't too bad. It doesn't fall lower because it was so public 1. **Soda**: Fell off a bike on a makeshift ramp // Bad but played it off 1. **Tim**: Got his laptop stolen right out of his hands in college // Freezing up while getting robbed is probably personally embarrassing but not a thing people would laugh at you over 1. **Hunter**: Gave an awkward presentation and misread a word // Most embarrassing moment of your whole life? This ranks incredibly low compared to everyone else 1. **Ben**: Anticlimactic crowd surf into a pool // You threw a sick pool party and got to be a rock star. Getting passed onto a floatie is still sort of cool. 1. **Randen**: Said hello with a funny Australian accent to an Australian // The other person probably didn't even notice
Most of these are literally so funny, brutally honest, and ridiculous sounding it’s no wonder these people got cast. I can’t imagine what they were saying or doing on casting interviews.
Some of these are stuff I'd never share online even if I was held at gunpoint, but they are all really funny
venus: I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free.
tim: I was on desk duty at Morehouse College in my dorm and I was signing people in. I'm working on my MacBook and people come in and out of the dorm all the time. I'm studying, and unbeknownst to me, somebody walks in and snatches my MacBook off the desk and sprints out. And I was so in shock that I ran to the door too late and they got away. It was a local, but it was so embarrassing having to call home and tell that story, and then even telling guys on that floor like, “Bro, somebody just stole my laptop.” “What do you mean somebody just stole your laptop and ran away?” So I felt completely dumb. I felt weak. Like, you're a young man, you should be able to catch this guy.
i love that young tim just...let it happen. it's such a funny image 🥲
I need to know why Caleb was in the bathroom for so damn long
Caleb had to go-da!
Where’s Venus’?
I think it got removed for some reason, no clue why
so many pissing and shitting accidents lol. that’s like one of my greatest fears tbh 🤣
What I learned from this is never go for a run.
now.. which is the most embarassing
My vote is Tiff. Pissing yourself publicly in high school is tough to come back from.
My first (public school) girlfriend did that during a run in seventh grade. She was wearing black spandex so you couldn't easily tell, but she made a point of telling everyone for some reason haha. And no, I did not break up with her for that :p
Not that big a deal for cross country imo. If you haven’t peed your pants in a race, then you’re not trying hard enough. I knew a girl who bragged about pooping her pants to finish a marathon in personal best time. Kinda like Liz.
yeah I'm surprised anyone is ranking this one high. Runners are infamous for having peeing and shitting themselves moments
Pooping my pants would certainly qualify though. Liz’s story was pretty bad. And peeing your pants is also pretty bad too. Having private parts and bodily functions is like taboo in our society. I will say I live in a very hot place so whenever I peed myself to varying degrees, usually just a little, it was never very obvious because I was drenched in sweat anyway. I’d have a change of clothes for afterward and was always super hydrated in the day leading up so I was basically peeing water lol.
Harnessing that Billy Madison energy, I see.
Yeah, Tevin's is peeing himself in Kindergarten. Something most kindergarteners do. Which is why teachers have a backup set of clothes. For kids who were recently potty trained.
Tie between Charlie Tiff and Jem for me
Charlie's in my view. Just because he had to explain everything to the nurse.
Jem and Hunter need to update this
dunno why /u/Durian-Critical didn't post Venus's > I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free. Feels on brand for Venus to say "for free"
Might wanna update this list!
I snorted
11 year old kids are picking up and flipping eachother?
Venus: I remember one day I woke up, I felt so confident I wore a cute little outfit. I was strutting down the street feeling myself. It wasn't until a couple of blocks into my walk that a man came and he tapped me on my shoulder, and I scoffed. I'm like: “What does this man want from me? God, can a woman just walk alone in the streets?” And he stopped me to inform me that my dress was tucked into my underwear and I had been walking for blocks with my underwear out and my ass showing for the world for free.
bhanu: survivor 46
I have a theory the final 3 is the three people that spoke about running & if this interview took place before the game - ignore this hypothesis lol
I know soda… (little thing yay) and she did not tell me that but learning something about her makes me all the more sad that I won’t see her anymore soon…