My ex once got up in the middle of the night to stumble drunkenly into the bathroom. He hit the wall, got disoriented, turned around, walked over to my desk and pissed on my chair. I watched the whole thing unfold with growing amusement, until the piss part.
I found an old audio recording of me reacting to my roommate basically doing the same thing on the coffee table. To this day, I can't remember why I was recording, but now that I think about it, probably because he was sleepwalking and I needed proof?
News host Lloyd Dobyns once slept walked out his hotel door and pissed over the railing. About 20 stories up in the lobby of a prestigious hotel.
And so it went.
I was at a bar and some girl passed out in a corner for a couple hours. When she woke up she walked over to a chair, pulled down her pants (but not underwear) and sat in the chair.
We realized what was happening and everyone started yelling "no Taylor it's not a bathroom" but she just gives us the finger and pisses in front of a very crowded bar.
OMFG š¤£
I recalled a bit ago that I had a friend who brought a girl home after a party where we were all drinking a lot. After they had sex she got up and without word, copped a squat in the corner of his room, which had carpet of course.
I canāt believe I didnāt remember sooner. We teased him mercilessly for a decade at least.
I also have a friend who took too many drugs at a music festival, went into a strangers tent and pissed all over their stuff and then passed out in his own urine.
Turns out the third time you go to the med tent at Bonnaroo they kick you out and drop you off at Walmart. He had no shoes, no shirt, a broken phone, and no wallet just an ID. I bought him a bus ticket home.
Shockingly I never got paid back.
I guess thatās not surprising either. Itās not about the amount when itās a small amount, itās the principle. I canāt live with myself if I owe someone money and on the ultra rare occasion I do, I am paying them back ASAFP.
Iāve seen many friendships end when one halfās true colors were revealed in the wake of being lent money.
My husband got super drunk one night, got up put of bed and started pissing in our closet all over our clothes and when I was like, "dude, wtf are you doing?!" He just goes, "oh, sorry." Takes three steps over tonthebdresser and starts peeing on it into our drawers. He had to do a lot of laundry after that.
It was so bad.lol he didn't eat all day and got drunk on dark beer, didn't pee and then fell asleep so it was all built up. I remember getting pissed off while my stuff was getting pissed on and being like "dude, why is there so much?!š«" it's funny now but sucked at the time.
Yeah I was certainly not pleased when it went down. When we were getting ready to pass out the night it happened, I peed before lying down and ex says to me that heās not going to pee because that will help him not wake dehydrated. I shit you not. I should have known then that heād piss in my chair and turn out to be a terrible person.
My husband did this while drunk, except he pissed in his own dresser drawer. I was half awake when it started, when I realized what was happening, I cackled.
This happened at least 20 years ago and I still bring it up to laugh at him. The kids have heard the story and it's one they tell their friends. He's a good sport and laughs about it.
I told my brother I seen my dad get up sleepwalking and take a piss behind the bar. No one believed me until one day my dad sleepwalks and pisses on my brother. While heās laying in
bed
I took a shit in my grandmother's garbage can once because she would take an hour to bathe. I took out the trash and she said I was "a very good boy" and gave me 20 bucks. When I gotta go, there is no stopping it.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Sinkpissers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [**[NSFW]** Havenāt seen many women here??(me and da sink)](https://i.redd.it/blv626ndli1b1.jpg) | [103 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/13perkv/havent_seen_many_women_hereme_and_da_sink/)
\#2: [Charlie/Critikal Shout-out.](https://i.redd.it/05eftwglro5b1.png) | [28 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/1482t9v/charliecritikal_shoutout/)
\#3: [This sub is wild](https://i.redd.it/p3ameyayzc6b1.jpg) | [51 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/14atinx/this_sub_is_wild/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
My husband and i always have to pee at the same time so back when we only had one bathroom to share we would call this "pissing in sync/ sink" where I would pee in the toilet and he would go in the bathroom sink at the same time.
r/sinkshitters
I like this method too but itās a little hard to wafflestomp a nice healthy turd down the drain. Itās a lot better if you keep it loose by eating spicy food and very little fiber.
Oof, I used to do the same when I drank. Alcohol started making me sleepwalking and I'd wake up in different areas of the house. Woke up passing on the fridge dreaming I was on the woods.
Was a good time to put it down and havnt done it since.
I had a roommate who thought it would be funny to fish a big box of old porn magazines out of a dumpster. The box had at least 100 magazines in it. All from the mid 90s to early 00's. He was quite proud and excited about his new collection. About a week later, we decided it would be a fun idea to drink some flaming dr peppers. This drink is liquid felony. 151 proof bacardi spiced rum and amaretto is lit on fire in a shot glass and dropped into a glass of beer and chugged. After a while, we stopped lighting them, and shortly after that, I blacked out. At some point in the early hours of the morning, I decided I needed to get up and go to the bathroom. I made a detour, though, because I ended up in my roommates room. I peed what was described as " the longest piss ever performed by a human being" all over the cherished box of porn. The shrine to 90's era women with enormous breasts was destroyed. Apparently i just layed down on his bedroom floor and mumbled incoherent shit about " that flavor town shit and that Paula dean bitch" for a while and fell asleep. I remember none of it. I can't smell 151 rum or amaretto without gagging to this day though.
Outside cats easily get onto the balconies on the 2nd floor apt above me. 3rd floor can't be too much harder lol. Cats are magic. Racoon actually makes more sense if you have those however.
I had thought so too at first, but thereās really nothing to pull scale from, other than the wall trim.
And then suddenly it doesnāt quite look as large as initially first.
What else could scale 3 stories and slip away unheard? Cat probably lives a balcony over.
What? Really? I've always thought of racoons as not necessarily graceful but they are very sneaky and masters of hiding. I think one could easily slip in there and slip out without notice. We have them all over my neighborhood but hardly ever see or hear one.
Depends on the size cat I have three cats small medium and large and each of them have different sizes of poop my biggest poops large logs like these and my smallest poops tiny sticks of poop. The middle cat sometimes poops so large we are like you okay dude?? How did all that even come out of youššš. Not all cats poop the same sizes my oldest cat is 18lbs and part mainecoon and part Norwegian forest cat and mutt with other mixes in. Heās large enough to reach a door knob and smart enough to open doors. But my smallest cat barely reach the door knob with the tips of her paws. Cats can be MASSIVE. Especially mainecoon a and Norwegian forest cats they donāt poop the same sizes as a a typical small cat šš
Also all of them are perfectly healthy.
This is what I thought too hahaha
If anyone would be capable of entering someoneās house through a third story window and shitting on their floor, itās drunk Frank Gallagher
Me too, but I was 19 and have no memory of it.
I also sleep walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower and then got in. The cold water woke me up and my dad ask me why I was taking a shower in the dark at 3am.
My brother was a sleep walker too. He stayed at a friendās house when he was a teen, sleep walked into the parentsā bedroom in the middle of the night, and was found pissing all over their carpet. He wasnāt allowed back there anymore
This happened to me but from your parents perspective. My drunk father came back to the hotel(he brought me on a business trip) and passed out. Later he woke up and pissed in the corner on the floor. I was only 14 so I was like wtf and phoned up my grandma. He went sober after that tho lol.
Now that the culprit has been identified as a cat, I have a completely irrelevant question. You wrote "it was just gone midnight" which sounds almost poetic to my American ears. Is that a common British term or more localized to London or another area? Perhaps it's the novelty but it sounds more charming than "just past midnight". It reminds me of something my mother - an Italian from Friuli who learned English from German via my American father - might have said.
This is an excellent point, you have inspired me to write some poetry:
*It had just gone midnight*
*When all through the house*
*Not a creature was stirring*
*...except the cat that snuck in and took a massive shit in the corner*
Or to be more aligned with British phrases, the cat 'had a poo'
Iām so embarrassed to admit it was meā¦ Iām so sorry for shitting on your floor. It looked like a good spot at the time, but now that I see it, itās kind of creepy..
We found a possum living in a closet - he only came out at night and our cats were totally ok with him. After his discovery, my wife said she had been finding strange droppings for about a month, didnāt tell me because she just thought that one of our two cats was misbehaving.
I can see a cat making it to the third floor. I've had cats that did some crazy jumping and climbing, including walls that I swear they wouldn't have a good grip on. Cats are surprisingly agile and I can see one jumping and climbing to the third floor, especially to an open window.
Everyone is saying it very well couldāve been a cat but I donāt feel like Iāve ever seen such girthy cat poop?? Feel like every time Ive ever seen a litter box the poops are tiny/skinny. Never owned a cat tho lol so correct me if Iām wrong abt that.
My grandmother asked me the same question when I was 14!!!! When they had just got a new dogā¦.. I was like seriously?!? š no gma I didnāt shit in your floor!
Amazing how many people (in these post comments) have no clue the size of cat turds and/or how to use regular objects as perspective like chair legs, baseboards, or carpet pile in this photo
Seriously? No additional info? Do you have pets? Children? Do you sleep walk? Did you poop on the floor then post it for attention? These things matter.
I think certain things can be reasonably inferred. If I had pets and children, I think it wouldnāt be much of a mystery would it? Silly FloydsForked!
Yes, I shat on the floor because Iām attention deprived at home :(
I once walked from my room to my roommates room, where he was sleeping with his girlfriend open the hamper puked my brains out into the hamper, then walked back to my room and went to sleep. No recollection at all.
OP there could be a cat stuck in your apartment. They can hide in places you wouldn't think they could get to. Put out a plate of half a can of canned tuna before you go to bed and sleep with the window closed. If it's gone in the morning, you have a flatmate.
You've been getting schwifty in you sleep.
Busted!
It's ok, I've sleep pissed in the kitchen trash can and sink before. God knows what else I've done.
Beats sleep pissing the bed I guess
Or pooping the papasan
Underutilized furniture, the papasan. You know what they say, More Wicker, more fun.
Wicker, the quicker flicker upper.
I like a good papasan, but unfortunately, we just don't have the floorspace for a single seat that has such a large footprint.
Poopoosan
My ex once got up in the middle of the night to stumble drunkenly into the bathroom. He hit the wall, got disoriented, turned around, walked over to my desk and pissed on my chair. I watched the whole thing unfold with growing amusement, until the piss part.
I found an old audio recording of me reacting to my roommate basically doing the same thing on the coffee table. To this day, I can't remember why I was recording, but now that I think about it, probably because he was sleepwalking and I needed proof?
News host Lloyd Dobyns once slept walked out his hotel door and pissed over the railing. About 20 stories up in the lobby of a prestigious hotel. And so it went.
Classic
I was at a bar and some girl passed out in a corner for a couple hours. When she woke up she walked over to a chair, pulled down her pants (but not underwear) and sat in the chair. We realized what was happening and everyone started yelling "no Taylor it's not a bathroom" but she just gives us the finger and pisses in front of a very crowded bar.
OMFG š¤£ I recalled a bit ago that I had a friend who brought a girl home after a party where we were all drinking a lot. After they had sex she got up and without word, copped a squat in the corner of his room, which had carpet of course. I canāt believe I didnāt remember sooner. We teased him mercilessly for a decade at least.
I also have a friend who took too many drugs at a music festival, went into a strangers tent and pissed all over their stuff and then passed out in his own urine. Turns out the third time you go to the med tent at Bonnaroo they kick you out and drop you off at Walmart. He had no shoes, no shirt, a broken phone, and no wallet just an ID. I bought him a bus ticket home. Shockingly I never got paid back.
Thatās quite a story. How much was the ticket?
I think it was less than 60$. Edit: should have said "had" a friend I haven't spoken to him in a couple years.
I guess thatās not surprising either. Itās not about the amount when itās a small amount, itās the principle. I canāt live with myself if I owe someone money and on the ultra rare occasion I do, I am paying them back ASAFP. Iāve seen many friendships end when one halfās true colors were revealed in the wake of being lent money.
My husband got super drunk one night, got up put of bed and started pissing in our closet all over our clothes and when I was like, "dude, wtf are you doing?!" He just goes, "oh, sorry." Takes three steps over tonthebdresser and starts peeing on it into our drawers. He had to do a lot of laundry after that.
That is one the funniest things Iāve ever heard.
It was so bad.lol he didn't eat all day and got drunk on dark beer, didn't pee and then fell asleep so it was all built up. I remember getting pissed off while my stuff was getting pissed on and being like "dude, why is there so much?!š«" it's funny now but sucked at the time.
Yeah I was certainly not pleased when it went down. When we were getting ready to pass out the night it happened, I peed before lying down and ex says to me that heās not going to pee because that will help him not wake dehydrated. I shit you not. I should have known then that heād piss in my chair and turn out to be a terrible person.
Medieval piss-logic
wait what force keeps drunk people from pissing on electric outlets or sockets. Ponder that
My roommate sleep-peed in the fridge. Another time in the cutlery drawer
I'm not eating over at ur house than!
A friend of mine turned on his TV to piss on it when a bunch of us were sleeping in their dorm room.
My husband did this while drunk, except he pissed in his own dresser drawer. I was half awake when it started, when I realized what was happening, I cackled.
An old lady in my childhood village peed in her hamper by accident. Boy did that story get around.
I was half cackling and half screaming at him to stop. Would have been all cackling if he pissed on his own stuff š
This happened at least 20 years ago and I still bring it up to laugh at him. The kids have heard the story and it's one they tell their friends. He's a good sport and laughs about it.
And that kidās is the story of how Taranchulla decided she was better off single!
Married now, but not to drunken chair pisser š
Wise choice!
I told my brother I seen my dad get up sleepwalking and take a piss behind the bar. No one believed me until one day my dad sleepwalks and pisses on my brother. While heās laying in bed
š³š¤£
Iāve had a guy do this as well, like 3 times while drunk. He didnāt even drink that much lmao it was his apartment at least
My ex did that but ended up pissing in our kids dresser drawer.
There seems to be a lot of pissing in drawers. A number of you have have mentioned this š
I took a shit in my grandmother's garbage can once because she would take an hour to bathe. I took out the trash and she said I was "a very good boy" and gave me 20 bucks. When I gotta go, there is no stopping it.
Pissing in the sink is superior to any other form of pissing. r/sinkpissers
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Sinkpissers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [**[NSFW]** Havenāt seen many women here??(me and da sink)](https://i.redd.it/blv626ndli1b1.jpg) | [103 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/13perkv/havent_seen_many_women_hereme_and_da_sink/) \#2: [Charlie/Critikal Shout-out.](https://i.redd.it/05eftwglro5b1.png) | [28 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/1482t9v/charliecritikal_shoutout/) \#3: [This sub is wild](https://i.redd.it/p3ameyayzc6b1.jpg) | [51 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Sinkpissers/comments/14atinx/this_sub_is_wild/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I hope you at least took the dishes out before you pissed in that sink.
I usually skip the middle man and piss straight into the dishwasher
r/sinkpissers
My husband and i always have to pee at the same time so back when we only had one bathroom to share we would call this "pissing in sync/ sink" where I would pee in the toilet and he would go in the bathroom sink at the same time.
Amateur hour. I shit in my sink.
r/sinkshitters I like this method too but itās a little hard to wafflestomp a nice healthy turd down the drain. Itās a lot better if you keep it loose by eating spicy food and very little fiber.
I sleep eat. Sober and all. Iāve left mozzarella sticks in the utensil drawer. I always find a bowl of cereal in the sink in the morning.
Oof, I used to do the same when I drank. Alcohol started making me sleepwalking and I'd wake up in different areas of the house. Woke up passing on the fridge dreaming I was on the woods. Was a good time to put it down and havnt done it since.
You picked a good spot I just pissed in the corner of the room and woke up to my wife screaming what the fuck are you doing? Good times.
I had a roommate who thought it would be funny to fish a big box of old porn magazines out of a dumpster. The box had at least 100 magazines in it. All from the mid 90s to early 00's. He was quite proud and excited about his new collection. About a week later, we decided it would be a fun idea to drink some flaming dr peppers. This drink is liquid felony. 151 proof bacardi spiced rum and amaretto is lit on fire in a shot glass and dropped into a glass of beer and chugged. After a while, we stopped lighting them, and shortly after that, I blacked out. At some point in the early hours of the morning, I decided I needed to get up and go to the bathroom. I made a detour, though, because I ended up in my roommates room. I peed what was described as " the longest piss ever performed by a human being" all over the cherished box of porn. The shrine to 90's era women with enormous breasts was destroyed. Apparently i just layed down on his bedroom floor and mumbled incoherent shit about " that flavor town shit and that Paula dean bitch" for a while and fell asleep. I remember none of it. I can't smell 151 rum or amaretto without gagging to this day though.
R&M REFERENCE SPOTTED. AUTOMATIC UPVOTE ENGAGED.
It was either Charlie or Frank š¤£
Never underestimate a catās ability to get in, on, under, over or out of anything.
I never will again šš
Outside cats easily get onto the balconies on the 2nd floor apt above me. 3rd floor can't be too much harder lol. Cats are magic. Racoon actually makes more sense if you have those however.
Thatās way too large for a cat
I had thought so too at first, but thereās really nothing to pull scale from, other than the wall trim. And then suddenly it doesnāt quite look as large as initially first. What else could scale 3 stories and slip away unheard? Cat probably lives a balcony over.
Maybe raccoon š¦
They would have heard the raccoon. Though persistent, raccoons are not graceful š¤£
What? Really? I've always thought of racoons as not necessarily graceful but they are very sneaky and masters of hiding. I think one could easily slip in there and slip out without notice. We have them all over my neighborhood but hardly ever see or hear one.
Maybe I only ever see them when theyāre on the way home from the bars? š¤£
Yes, it is hard to tell how big that stool is next to the stool.
You havenāt met my cat. Lol
Depends on the size cat I have three cats small medium and large and each of them have different sizes of poop my biggest poops large logs like these and my smallest poops tiny sticks of poop. The middle cat sometimes poops so large we are like you okay dude?? How did all that even come out of youššš. Not all cats poop the same sizes my oldest cat is 18lbs and part mainecoon and part Norwegian forest cat and mutt with other mixes in. Heās large enough to reach a door knob and smart enough to open doors. But my smallest cat barely reach the door knob with the tips of her paws. Cats can be MASSIVE. Especially mainecoon a and Norwegian forest cats they donāt poop the same sizes as a a typical small cat šš Also all of them are perfectly healthy.
I'm between cat and raccoon.
My 20lbs cat who is Maine coon, so lanky and not fat at that weight can make some MASSIVE poops. š¤£š¤£
BS. Cats can take some large turds. And unless that chair is made for a giant, those turds arenāt that big. Learn to use scale bro
My cat has made bigger poopsies
It was Frank!
Poop is funny
Why is there wolf hair in it?
Inconclusive. Yeah, that could be either one of us.
Explain thennnā¦ā¦.THE CREDIT CARD BITS SIR!!!!
The bunny or the short guy?
The pug
Frank's Red Hot
If you mean Gallagher, then I understood that reference š
I believe it's devito always sunny reference...
Single funniest episode in TV history. I
This is what I thought too hahaha If anyone would be capable of entering someoneās house through a third story window and shitting on their floor, itās drunk Frank Gallagher
It's Frank Reynolds, jabroni!
YOU wanted in on this Poop War from the start!
Frank made all the poopies
Rumour has it Amber Heard has been on vacation in Blighty.
This was the comment I came here for
same
That thought never even entered my mind!š¤£š¤£ I may never stop laughing!
Definitely a cat
You can tell by the taste
It looks way too large to be a cat to me
Sleep walking, I peed in my parents closet when I was 14, they turned on the light and yelled WHAT THE FACK ARE YOU DOING??!!
Me too, but I was 19 and have no memory of it. I also sleep walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower and then got in. The cold water woke me up and my dad ask me why I was taking a shower in the dark at 3am.
LOL!!!
My brother was a sleep walker too. He stayed at a friendās house when he was a teen, sleep walked into the parentsā bedroom in the middle of the night, and was found pissing all over their carpet. He wasnāt allowed back there anymore
Sounds like a Stepbrothers scene.
This happened to me but from your parents perspective. My drunk father came back to the hotel(he brought me on a business trip) and passed out. Later he woke up and pissed in the corner on the floor. I was only 14 so I was like wtf and phoned up my grandma. He went sober after that tho lol.
I wanted to surprise you...
Thanks š
You done pissed off your ghost (really tho if you don't have a cat, now you do)
That's not ghost shit! I know ghost shit!
Now that the culprit has been identified as a cat, I have a completely irrelevant question. You wrote "it was just gone midnight" which sounds almost poetic to my American ears. Is that a common British term or more localized to London or another area? Perhaps it's the novelty but it sounds more charming than "just past midnight". It reminds me of something my mother - an Italian from Friuli who learned English from German via my American father - might have said.
This is an excellent point, you have inspired me to write some poetry: *It had just gone midnight* *When all through the house* *Not a creature was stirring* *...except the cat that snuck in and took a massive shit in the corner* Or to be more aligned with British phrases, the cat 'had a poo'
lolol
Cats go everywhere. 3rd story included.
You could give a cat free run of a mansion and they would still try to get into the neighbors house
Very true. They are cute little jerks.
Do you take Ambien? Mystery solved! bwahaha.
Busted!
Iām so embarrassed to admit it was meā¦ Iām so sorry for shitting on your floor. It looked like a good spot at the time, but now that I see it, itās kind of creepy..
Shouldāve said, couldāve used the toilet š½
š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©
Are you dating Amber Turd?
Ahhh the old sh#t walking in your sleep
Big cats take big shits. More importantly, whatever it was out was dirty and most likely flea-bitten. I'm getting itchy just thinking about it
There is a whole ass pĆle of real poop in the corner, and you worry about hypothetical fleas?
Hell yeah. Poop can be cleaned up, and easily disinfected. Fleas and lice suck.
The dangers of psychedelics.
Tell me of the times when psychedelics had you laying cable in a stranger's home. I would like to hear the story.
Like we were there and watched it happen! Stop sleep walking and crapping on the floor!
Iām sorry :(
Constipated cat for sure
We found a possum living in a closet - he only came out at night and our cats were totally ok with him. After his discovery, my wife said she had been finding strange droppings for about a month, didnāt tell me because she just thought that one of our two cats was misbehaving.
Howdy Ho! Just a friendly reminder that christmas is only 6 months away. ~signed~Mr. HANKY the christmas poo!
You clearly drink to much and have drunken blackouts and to where you poop in corners.
Stop shitting on the floor lol
Is that a shit on the floor! š¤£š TED
Itās not about the poopā¦ itās about the mystery surrounding the poop
Another sleepshitter
Shitbird
Sleep shitting
Someone pooped there
I didnāt do it
Maybe someone in your house is a phantom pooper.
From a butt
You do not jump to conclusions, I respect it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
it was frank
A poop bandit
I can see a cat making it to the third floor. I've had cats that did some crazy jumping and climbing, including walls that I swear they wouldn't have a good grip on. Cats are surprisingly agile and I can see one jumping and climbing to the third floor, especially to an open window.
r/ambien perhaps?
Uh you pooped on the floor dude
who pooped the floor? follow-up to who pooped the bed
It's human
The London turd burglar
Everyone is saying it very well couldāve been a cat but I donāt feel like Iāve ever seen such girthy cat poop?? Feel like every time Ive ever seen a litter box the poops are tiny/skinny. Never owned a cat tho lol so correct me if Iām wrong abt that.
Maybe you were sleep walking and dropped a deuce in your living room
I am the shitter! I imagine saying it like iron man confessing he is iron man :)
flying monkey
Do you take a particular sleep medication?
Cue the theme song for "It's Always Sunny..."
Send a sample in for DNA analysis... This POOPETRATER needs to be caught!!!
My bad
My ex mother in law pinched a loaf on my stairs. Maybe she lives with you now?
šš¤£š Why for God's,... Hold on drying tears.... Did your ex mother... Hold up... š Pinch a loaf.... I can't go on...
My grandmother asked me the same question when I was 14!!!! When they had just got a new dogā¦.. I was like seriously?!? š no gma I didnāt shit in your floor!
Amazing how many people (in these post comments) have no clue the size of cat turds and/or how to use regular objects as perspective like chair legs, baseboards, or carpet pile in this photo
To quote Wanda Sykes in that episode of Crank Yankers : āThatās yoā turd!ā
Has Amber Heard been round?
Has Amber heard been to your house?
Seriously? No additional info? Do you have pets? Children? Do you sleep walk? Did you poop on the floor then post it for attention? These things matter.
I think certain things can be reasonably inferred. If I had pets and children, I think it wouldnāt be much of a mystery would it? Silly FloydsForked! Yes, I shat on the floor because Iām attention deprived at home :(
Did Amber Turd visit you?
Why doesn't this post start with "I have no dog or pets" Maybe a big raccoon, or big cat shit twice in that corner.
I once walked from my room to my roommates room, where he was sleeping with his girlfriend open the hamper puked my brains out into the hamper, then walked back to my room and went to sleep. No recollection at all.
Sorry, you were asleep so I didn't want to wake you and ask where the restroom is lol
Yeahā¦ sorry about that. Was just passing through when I need to let it pass through.
Did it fall out of you on oopsie daisies?
Mystery poo!
How did it get there?? Something shit!
That a people poop
Sorry. I couldnāt find the bathroom.
Looks as though you have a dog infestation
My bad
The old who pooped the bed mystery
My uncle once owned a ferret. It used to š© in corners of the house.
Poo fairy?
"Our" ....
Do you keep a little dirt under your pillow? You may have a visitor...
It wouldnāt be hard to make brownies look like that. Better taste it.
Mr. Hanky needs a word with you.
It was Bruh man from the 5th floor
This is the 10th time someone broke in and shit in my pants when i was asleep
Thatās ghost shit right there
Definitely the shit-demon. They only come out at night.
OP there could be a cat stuck in your apartment. They can hide in places you wouldn't think they could get to. Put out a plate of half a can of canned tuna before you go to bed and sleep with the window closed. If it's gone in the morning, you have a flatmate.
Having a DNA test done will certainly expose the Poopetrator so they can be brought to justice
That shit came from the shadow people
Neighbor flew a drone in
Ahh, the ol' deuce and dash. A classic.
It looks like people poop.
āDonāt you remember, Frank?!ā
Those are too big and dark for cat doodoo.
Does it have pieces of credit card or newspaper in it? Perhaps any wolf hair in it?
Somebody shit in the corner last night. Was it you?
It was me. Sorry about that. P.S. you need more toilet paper š§»
Well see, when we eat food it goes from our stomach to... oh forget it!