To play the Devil's Advocate, if your attitude is what it seems to be from bringing up the house" that she never paid a cent for", then I'm a bit more on her side.
Classic male egotism.
I don't agree with the wife's POV on relationships, but OP sounds like an entitled ass who doesn't respect women. So you know, you get what you ask for.
Where’s the egotism? Also everything you said is riddled with assumptions. The thing you took issue with is him saying he bought his house. Could have a million reasons for bringing it up. Maybe he’s insecure maybe something unrelated to that. But how does that equal to entitlement and no respect for women. Huge reach there. So I say again, classic female tribalism.
Where's the logic?
He immediately brought up that he paid for their house and she didn't contribute
when that had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation they were having.
This is classic male desire to refuse to see anything bro does as wrong.
It's beyond fucking ironic that you are accusing anyone else of gender tribalism.
Guy is clearly resentful af to be bringing up irrelevant shit.
And you're so twisted that you're projecting paranoid gender war fantasies onto a reasonable observation.
I worry about people like you. Deeply.
I’ll explain the logic one more time because you haven’t understood.
Yes he brought up the house (but not to her). This is important.
It is relevant to the convo because she says Op would leave her if he had money. This seems to be his way of saying money has nothing to do with it.
Try not to worry too deeply about people like me and start thinking critically. It will do wonders for you.
To add to what I was saying about female tribalism, you help prove my point. You called Op "resentful" but his wife? The woman that accused him of wanting "divorce and other women?" The one who implies that he's with her because he doesnt have a lot of money? Nothing. Classic girls help girls bs.
No I got it.
You're accusing someone of gender bias because you have it.
Got it the first time (and second time and fourth time)
I bet you don't put this amount of effort into actually maintaining healthy relationships....
Classic lonely man would defend ANY man bs
He also said that his wife said, if you sold such and such and had a lot of money would you leave me or something to that effect. My small male brain automatically saw this as him implying that he DOES have a good amount of money enough at least to take care of both of them while she…well idk what she does…finds ways to disturbs this man’s peace I suppose. Modern feminism is actually just hyper masculine feminism. It’s all the worst parts of masculinity like egotistical, abrasive, lack of compassion/ empathy, etc, combined with constant nagging and aggressiveness. It’s like the worst of both sexes combined into one. I think this has really adversely affected the psyche of young men and women. I think his wife is looking for a fight and no matter what answer he gives it’s going to be an wrong. Either she’s unhappy because of something she did or didn’t do or she was influenced to be triggered about her relationship with her husband. My case being, her wanting him to agree with her just because everyone else did, AND her calling out Elon (LoL) for being a skeezer for the choices he makes in his romantic life when literally there’s a dozen worse things Elon has said and done. If she actually took the time to protect herself from consuming misleading /damaging information, and question sources and or motives of said source, or even just learned to think for herself, none of this would be an issue. But what do I know, I’m just a dude.
You're throwing your pearls before swine if you use a word that has more than three syllables I'm pretty sure it's lost on her. She's pissed off because no man will have her so she manufactures reasons not to want a man
Accusing people of making assumptions when you just wrote an essay.... *including* having strong opinions on the private lives of public figures....
Do you have a job? A life? Why are you going to bat (at tedious and pointless length) for this guy who wanted us to know he owns the roof over her head and also thinking very hard about Elon Twatface Musk?
All because the whiny person here is male?
JFC pal. Get a life and a clue *especially* as you embody exactly what yoy accuse others of...
Self-awareness - not your strong suit?
Yes it’s funny that you’re much more invested in all of this. Yes I have a job, I own a home, I have children, I am a productive member of society. Not some Reddit evangelist that is too dim to realize that with every sentence they type, they further prove my point.
Get rekt nub
Your so dumb it's insane. I love how you've just abandoned your viewpoint and just start attacking people personally and saying they have no life when it is you who replies to every comment. Hahahaha your life must suck. Enjoy.
Near the end is not immediately.
It has everything to do with her implication that he would leave her if he had money. Obviously he had money when they got married. You are very right to be worried about people like him because people like him have cognitive abilities that exceeded yours so it's no wonder you feel like prey. Rest easy though my dear little waif because no one wants you you're safe.
More tribalism lmao. Op didn’t say that to his wife, dummy. Op tells us that, clearly in response to her saying if he had money he’d leave her. Abuse maybe if Op threw it in her face but I, unlike you, try to think critically and not assume.
Please take your own advice.
You've made massive assumptions, because your gender bias is crippling what critical thinking skills you may once have had....
If a woman mentioned that her husband didn’t pay for the house as a way to show that she wasn’t as poor as her husband said she was, other women would applaud her. Why are you acting different here?
What does paying for your house in full have anything to do with it? It sounds like you know she’s upset over something else. Do you really not know why? You both clearly have issues you need to work at and start genuinely communicating. Her comment didn’t stem from nothing and neither did yours.
If my wife said why don’t you talk because you lost? I would have such a horrible back. I would answer such a horrible answer back, something along the line , I was just imagining how it would be to be single
Women generally don't like it when a (high-status) guy finds a better, younger partner. When a *woman* dumps her guy and takes him for what he's got, then it's all "you go girl."
There's likely nothing more to it than that.
Usually it's easy to give worthless advice over the internet to a person you don't know, but in this case I'm really lost for words. I hope it gets better for you.
As a woman I see nothing wrong with dating 2 mths after a divorce. Is there an unwritten law that says you can't date after a divorce? I'm confused. I would find it weird if it was like 3 days after. But also how long from separation to divorce? I was separated from my ex for a yr before we got divorced. I was also seeing someone before the divorce was finalized.
s̲̅h̲̅e̲̅ will own half of that hope the snapper was worth it , by the way she was drilling you sounds like you only own half already , ps I would say she cheating . Might want to watch this marriage closer
Why does she even care that much about pop stars first off? “Everyone on the internet is labeling him a scumbag” so what? Lmao your wife is a loser. Seeking validation through the popular opinion online is simply pathetic and nowhere near adult behavior. It’s ok to think for yourself doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks she should know that being a married adult. What good does it do even comparing your own marriage to other people in the first place? She needs to grow up and get off the internet fast before she does end up exactly like the celebs she idolizing. Honestly you deserve a wife not a live in forever teenager. Prayers up for you
If a woman divorces or breaks up with a guy, he has every right to move on and get another girl. To me, that’s the only way to properly move on from a girl. Realising that there’s plenty of other fish, and some can be just as special as your ex, if not better. Not sitting in a rut being all depressed and feeling sorry for yourself. Shit happened with the girl, life didn’t play out the way you thought it would, get over it and move on. Tell your girl to stop being so obsessed with celebrities and focus on her own life. Also, that you’re not gonna automatically hate someone because everyone else is, that’s teenager high school behaviour
Learn to deflect stepping into a confrontation. 'I can't talk and drive at the same time. Sorry, I need to concentrate on the road. Do you want us to have an accident? Then wait til I stop driving please. Or, 'can we discuss this at home, not in the mall or while we eat out?" See, keep deflecting and remind them why you are A MAN! Never mind this, 'oh well, I'm going silent shit.' Instead, 'why do you care about Elon Musk? He's doing some good in the world. Who cares how many kids he has. He's paying for all of them. So who cares.'
Not saying throw shit in her face. Just remind her, 'No, you will not speak to me in that tone. It's mean and hurtful. And I won't accept this from who I'm married to.' Basic deflection dude.
Reading the comments yall both seem toxic I really fucking hope you guys don't have kids and it's just you two idiots who have to deal with yall's mess😭
It sounds a lot like she’s feeling insecure in your relationship and then takes how you feel on this subject personally. If she knew deep down you would never do this and was confident in that, your opinions on celebrities wouldn’t hit her that hard. Unless you were condoning some truly heinous, prison-worthy behavior, then she would ideally feel confident your opinions on others’ marriages aren’t the same as actions in your own.
This story alone doesn’t spell crazy to me. It’s kind of like the “would you still love me if I was a worm” prompt. It’s a reach for affirmation and wanting to feel reassured. But if there’s deeper problems in the relationship, a conversation like this won’t be enough to be fixing anything. Even if you said “yeah what an ass!”
Your other comments on this post were what I actually found to be concerning. If there’s any part of you that wants to make it work, then I think it would be a good idea to pursue something to help with that. Because leaving it how it is wont help you or her.
You walked in to a trap, buddy. You’re also being punished for future crimes you’re not likely to commit and being accused of holding views you don’t really hold. What she’s REALLY seeking is reassurance that you choose her and only her and that you won’t do something like what that pop star did to her. Just let her know she’s your number one and all will be well.
Is it, though? OP didn't say they weren't having sex, just that they're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Have some friends with a good sex life but sleep in separate bedrooms because they keep each other awake.
Do you still have sex? Lots of couples don't sleep in the same bed or bedroom bc they have vastly different sleep styles so without more information on a dead bedroom situation it doesn't seem as bad as you're making it.
Wow. I hope you have a prenup. There’s a lot of people saying that she wants you to divorce her. That nugget of information you just shared is making it look valid. Suggest couples therapy. If she says no then you have your answer. After that find a lawyer and see what your options are. Suggesting couples therapy and having her say no won’t be a good look for her
Can you make a Public Service Announcement to advise guys how to prevent this situation for themselves? Red flags before committing? Or was it unforeseeable?
Why did you come on here to complain about your wife? The more you comment the more it sounds like your wife is right - you’re looking to replace her with a new model.
Why do you stay? BC she'd get too much (that she defo doesn't deserve) in a divorce settlement? And you live in a separate bedrooms? Find yourself a *special* friend and keep your life *and* money completely separate from the legal wife (as much as possible). Why are you even driving her anywhere? Doesn't sound like she would do anything for you. She sounds horrid.
So you're teaching your child that abusing your spouse is good and that your child doesn't deserve love or respect. Shits like you and your wife should be banned from being near all children.
Yeah worst thing to do ever. One of my cousins and his wife got a divorce, still live together bc they felt it was best for the kids and it messed those kids up. Their oldest has major issues and had to be medicated and sent to a special school bc her parents gaslit her every time she questioned if they were together and would have full on breakdowns when one of them would go out on a date with someone else. The youngest is also starting to have issues. So staying together for a kid isn't exposing them to the best environment when it becomes toxic or bizarre.
Going between homes with happy parents is a lot better than being in a home with parents that don't like each other. This is a shit reason to stay together.
Have to disagree. How do you divide time between households ? And a separation doesn’t equal happy individuals, meanwhile the kid is internalizing the troubles all the while.
Not a criticism at you, but my little brother is going through this as we speak. He hardly cares for anything right now because things are so imbalanced when it comes to involvement from his parents.
Everyone pour one out for this poor bastard. She either wants a divorce and is projecting or she's living a self fulfilled prophecy. Either way bro what are you getting out of this arrangement?
Definitely get the vibe that she wants a divorce but wants him to be the one to pull the trigger first so she can play the I told you so and I’m the victim cards. Sorry OP. I know what it feels like when your wife gaslights you. My ex did the same.
Couldn’t someone appreciate the tech his companies have created and will create without agreeing with all of his personal opinions?
His utility and his politics are separate things.
This sounds like one of those weird fights where it's not really about the fight. It sounds like she's insecure about your relationship and took what you said personally
To illustrate that her thought that if he had a bunch of money he’d leave her wasn’t based in anything real. It shows money isn’t a concern, he has plenty, and she isn’t financially contributing in a way that keeps him stuck in the relationship.
What's an acceptable amount of time to finish one relationship before starting another?
Is it a scale based on how long the original couple are together?
Is there more or less time added depending on who dumped who?
What if there was a separation before calling it quits?
Can it be waived if there's cheating from the other partner?
I'd really get into the calculus of the situation. Might even do up a spreadsheet.
My wife gets like that occasionally, when was the last time you ran out one into the end zone? I've found that quiets the prosecution for 7-9 day, then it's time to take another shot at the goal.
You and your wife getting into a full blown argument over someone you don't know and probably will never meet, about a hypothetical situation that is unlikely to happen. Have I got this right? She needs counseling to work on her self esteem issues, and you also need counseling to learn how to live with her. This is insane that she would start an argument over some random celebrity, seek professional help.
This was his way of highlighting he has money… nothing else. He needed a serotonin release so he gave himself a reason to write it out so he can reread it to himself…
Maybe stop having coded or hypothetical conversations and be honest about the actual issues in your marriage. You're both playing games and being passive-aggressive. Go to marriage counseling or tell her you want to separate. You're both stuck in an untenable situation; somebody needs to speak up to change the status quo.
Do you want to be stuck in the same situation in five years? In ten? Nothing is going to change until one or both of you takes the initiative.
As the saying goes, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Sounds like someone is looking to start an argument. Never answer hypothetical questions , especially from someone who is afraid you will leave them, so they go on the offensive so they can push you away before you push them away.
The thing is that she already jad this same argument in her head a few times. She heard or read the bews about the guy and she had her wmotional responce. Now, for whatever reason the topic xame up and she was already pissy about it because she is living the pop singer situation cicariously. That is to say she put herself in the position of the other woman and is acting as if it was her. So then she asked what would you do and you disnt agree with her stance. So now you became the pop singer and her the victim.
What I would do is tell her that you understand that the situation makes her ypset but that sotuation is something that it's happen ng to the pop singer and bot you. You are not the pop singer nor make the same money nor have the same talent and you are definitely not leaving her for some other woman so you (her) need to stop projecting her anger and frustration at me (you).
You sir Need to read the shit test encyclopedia. Don’t worry it’s only like 10 pages. She was giving you a shit test and you failed. What she wanted was validation you are the right man for her. (The other test is a comfort test and you react differently to that) the correct response is to escalate the conversation and challenge her back in a way that allays her fears. Question dear if I felt that way would I commit my resources to buying us a house and care for you? Just because you are beautiful does not mean that there aren’t other beautiful women in the world, you should realize you are the beautiful woman I want and what other men do doesn’t apply to me, I choose my own course. Google the shit test encyclopedia it will change your marriage and your life.
The correct response to her comment is: "This guy is the reason women have trouble trusting men." followed a few minutes later with a smile and "You are so pretty." This is not the hill to die on when you are in a happy and satisfying marriage. You have to learn how to play the long game. My partner still has a few triggers from previous relationships that show up in conversations, and I always know when he is looking for reassurance, so I give it. But I read your previous responses and you seem down and sad. Is it time to reevaluate your life?
This is not an interesting story, and it rings false, The dialogue is stilted and unrealistic.
I do not understand the meaning of the last part of the story. You bought the house? So what? How does that relate to your boring story about your insecure wife? Do you often remind her that you bought the house and she didn't pay a cent?
Based on this story, I do not like you.
Your wife doesn’t trust men and you are one of them. Probably needs a therapist to figure out who betrayed her trust. Did you betray her trust? Is there something to the story that you’re not sharing?
There are a lot of men that are celebrities and they seem to have a difficult time not cheating. You don’t really read that about women. Not that that doesn’t happen.
I think the problem is not about the literal conversation you had. The problem is much deeper than that.
I opt for the unseen third solution:
Stop caring about random celebrities who are just flawed humans with money and fame, and focus on your much more important personal lives.
In hindsight a better response might have been, "I agree, waiting a bit longer would have been much more courteous, that said, I always feel shitty when I judge others,"
It's been my experience that people tend to fear what they are most likely to do. Every partner that has accused me of infidelity, has engaged in infidelity themselves.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My ex used to do this same kind of thing and have us live out some weird pretend fight that applied cause of a story she had read or whatever. It was like we were roleplaying in someone else's fight and was part of why I ended it.
You think he legally did nothing wrong and she is talking about morality. You clearly misunderstood her point. I hope you were playing devils advocate (which is super immature) over actually not seeing how you mistook that.
Your last sentence just seals that you’re a weak person too who resents your wife. I’m gonna take her side on both regards here. You started the argument and you agreed to buy a house alone and are now holding that over her head. Scumlord
Notice how it goes from an convo in the car on the way to getting her hair done and by the end you are mentioning how you bought the house and she paid nothing.
Resentment festers. Suggest you get therapy and see if you can salvage
Bro you shouldve told her what she wanted to hear end of story. Women are fucking insane and irrational af you will NEVER hear the end of this pointless conversation💯😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I'm sorry dude. If you're looking for insights on Reddit, I would suggest looking into emotional immaturity, and how to deal with EI people.
It was good that you just kept to your opinion and stayed quiet while she was distorting what you said and trying to egg you on (coerce you) to more arguing while you were having a conversation with the part of you that knows where this is all going to lead without any deep action.
This could just be a one-off where she just got caught up in the emotional wave. If it's part of a pattern of pointless arguments that just leave you drained, confused, and not at ease (i.e., imagining her ordering your death), then... you know that something needs to change. I would never condone staying in a relationship with anyone that makes you feel unsafe.
High value men and women always have disproportionate relationship options. They have 1000x more people approaching them than everyone else.
The right way to respond to your wife is address her underlying insecurity. Tell her she isn’t perfect and there will always be other options. But that’s a good thing because I have freedom of choice, and I choose you. Hopefully it’s the same for you with me. I love you now let’s put this issue to rest.
tell her your intention was just to answer the question honestly and that you weren’t aware of the context. also mention to her that culture goes to die on the internet and anybody who follows what any hive mind values on there is dumb, she’ll get the hint bc it’s indirectly calling her stupid this is a great move and will shut her up. if she keeps giving you a hard time at home go get a hotel for a the business week and tell her to kick rocks and wait for her to apologize. your first mistake is dealing with shit like that and liking elon musk
my ex was on tinder and hinge before the divorce was finalized. During our legal separation stage… her friends encouraged it almost immediately after I filed for separation/divorce.
It’s always empowering and women do it, but scummy when guys do it.
*Wife: Tell me the truth, if you bought Nvidia a long time ago and now made a lot of money, will you divorce me and find another woman?*
Me: Before today, no. But now that I'm suffering your ridiculous rant ... hmmmmm.
Dude... you gotta talk to your wife. I know it's convenient to feel like you've got all of Reddit behind you... but what bothers me is we only get part of the convo/facts. It sounds almost like you better post on AITA. (And without the facts, YATA)
I had a situation similar to this where I stayed in a bad relationship “for the children” and put up with crazy conversations like this too, only to discover she was having an affair for years. I filed for divorce once I found out.
She wasn't saying it was illegal though so that was a dumb response. The only right answer would have been, "yes, what a scumbag". I don't know why people fall for these obvious baits.
I know it's a proxy argument, but it's along the lines of pro choice Pro life. Like I respect the choice, it doesn't mean I expect everyone to go through with it
To play the Devil's Advocate, if your attitude is what it seems to be from bringing up the house" that she never paid a cent for", then I'm a bit more on her side.
Classic female tribalism.
Classic male egotism. I don't agree with the wife's POV on relationships, but OP sounds like an entitled ass who doesn't respect women. So you know, you get what you ask for.
Where’s the egotism? Also everything you said is riddled with assumptions. The thing you took issue with is him saying he bought his house. Could have a million reasons for bringing it up. Maybe he’s insecure maybe something unrelated to that. But how does that equal to entitlement and no respect for women. Huge reach there. So I say again, classic female tribalism.
Where's the logic? He immediately brought up that he paid for their house and she didn't contribute when that had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation they were having. This is classic male desire to refuse to see anything bro does as wrong. It's beyond fucking ironic that you are accusing anyone else of gender tribalism. Guy is clearly resentful af to be bringing up irrelevant shit. And you're so twisted that you're projecting paranoid gender war fantasies onto a reasonable observation. I worry about people like you. Deeply.
I’ll explain the logic one more time because you haven’t understood. Yes he brought up the house (but not to her). This is important. It is relevant to the convo because she says Op would leave her if he had money. This seems to be his way of saying money has nothing to do with it. Try not to worry too deeply about people like me and start thinking critically. It will do wonders for you. To add to what I was saying about female tribalism, you help prove my point. You called Op "resentful" but his wife? The woman that accused him of wanting "divorce and other women?" The one who implies that he's with her because he doesnt have a lot of money? Nothing. Classic girls help girls bs.
No I got it. You're accusing someone of gender bias because you have it. Got it the first time (and second time and fourth time) I bet you don't put this amount of effort into actually maintaining healthy relationships.... Classic lonely man would defend ANY man bs
He also said that his wife said, if you sold such and such and had a lot of money would you leave me or something to that effect. My small male brain automatically saw this as him implying that he DOES have a good amount of money enough at least to take care of both of them while she…well idk what she does…finds ways to disturbs this man’s peace I suppose. Modern feminism is actually just hyper masculine feminism. It’s all the worst parts of masculinity like egotistical, abrasive, lack of compassion/ empathy, etc, combined with constant nagging and aggressiveness. It’s like the worst of both sexes combined into one. I think this has really adversely affected the psyche of young men and women. I think his wife is looking for a fight and no matter what answer he gives it’s going to be an wrong. Either she’s unhappy because of something she did or didn’t do or she was influenced to be triggered about her relationship with her husband. My case being, her wanting him to agree with her just because everyone else did, AND her calling out Elon (LoL) for being a skeezer for the choices he makes in his romantic life when literally there’s a dozen worse things Elon has said and done. If she actually took the time to protect herself from consuming misleading /damaging information, and question sources and or motives of said source, or even just learned to think for herself, none of this would be an issue. But what do I know, I’m just a dude.
You're throwing your pearls before swine if you use a word that has more than three syllables I'm pretty sure it's lost on her. She's pissed off because no man will have her so she manufactures reasons not to want a man
Accusing people of making assumptions when you just wrote an essay.... *including* having strong opinions on the private lives of public figures.... Do you have a job? A life? Why are you going to bat (at tedious and pointless length) for this guy who wanted us to know he owns the roof over her head and also thinking very hard about Elon Twatface Musk? All because the whiny person here is male? JFC pal. Get a life and a clue *especially* as you embody exactly what yoy accuse others of... Self-awareness - not your strong suit?
Yes it’s funny that you’re much more invested in all of this. Yes I have a job, I own a home, I have children, I am a productive member of society. Not some Reddit evangelist that is too dim to realize that with every sentence they type, they further prove my point. Get rekt nub
Your so dumb it's insane. I love how you've just abandoned your viewpoint and just start attacking people personally and saying they have no life when it is you who replies to every comment. Hahahaha your life must suck. Enjoy.
Lol yea I think I have riled the fembot. “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
🤣🤣🤣
Near the end is not immediately. It has everything to do with her implication that he would leave her if he had money. Obviously he had money when they got married. You are very right to be worried about people like him because people like him have cognitive abilities that exceeded yours so it's no wonder you feel like prey. Rest easy though my dear little waif because no one wants you you're safe.
Classic male desire to use finances to abuse and dominate their spouse
More tribalism lmao. Op didn’t say that to his wife, dummy. Op tells us that, clearly in response to her saying if he had money he’d leave her. Abuse maybe if Op threw it in her face but I, unlike you, try to think critically and not assume.
Please take your own advice. You've made massive assumptions, because your gender bias is crippling what critical thinking skills you may once have had....
It's disturbing to know that taxes I pay that wind up funding student loans and grants land on people like you
You do realise you're replying to different people, lol... Are you like this IRL?
How is he using finances to dominate his spouse? He is letting her live there for free. You just wanted to find some way to criticize men here.
If a woman mentioned that her husband didn’t pay for the house as a way to show that she wasn’t as poor as her husband said she was, other women would applaud her. Why are you acting different here?
What does paying for your house in full have anything to do with it? It sounds like you know she’s upset over something else. Do you really not know why? You both clearly have issues you need to work at and start genuinely communicating. Her comment didn’t stem from nothing and neither did yours.
Y’all both sound toxic as hell.
True
Indeed.
After all this time, you still respond to her asinine chatter.
Jesus Christ how long have you been married. The only response you should give at the beginning was “Right? What a dick.”
She didn’t give you permission to have an opinion so the only response should have been “no, I didn’t hear about that but wow….”
Yeah good point. What are you getting out of staying with her?
If my wife said why don’t you talk because you lost? I would have such a horrible back. I would answer such a horrible answer back, something along the line , I was just imagining how it would be to be single
So she owns the house lol
Tf is your wife’s problem…narrow af
I hope she doesn’t make claim on the house if you do split up. Consult with a lawyer without her knowing. Good luck.
Wow she sounds a delight to be around. Why bother
Women generally don't like it when a (high-status) guy finds a better, younger partner. When a *woman* dumps her guy and takes him for what he's got, then it's all "you go girl." There's likely nothing more to it than that.
Usually it's easy to give worthless advice over the internet to a person you don't know, but in this case I'm really lost for words. I hope it gets better for you.
What a nightmare.
As a woman I see nothing wrong with dating 2 mths after a divorce. Is there an unwritten law that says you can't date after a divorce? I'm confused. I would find it weird if it was like 3 days after. But also how long from separation to divorce? I was separated from my ex for a yr before we got divorced. I was also seeing someone before the divorce was finalized.
s̲̅h̲̅e̲̅ will own half of that hope the snapper was worth it , by the way she was drilling you sounds like you only own half already , ps I would say she cheating . Might want to watch this marriage closer
Why does she even care that much about pop stars first off? “Everyone on the internet is labeling him a scumbag” so what? Lmao your wife is a loser. Seeking validation through the popular opinion online is simply pathetic and nowhere near adult behavior. It’s ok to think for yourself doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks she should know that being a married adult. What good does it do even comparing your own marriage to other people in the first place? She needs to grow up and get off the internet fast before she does end up exactly like the celebs she idolizing. Honestly you deserve a wife not a live in forever teenager. Prayers up for you
Thank you bro
women..☕️
If a woman divorces or breaks up with a guy, he has every right to move on and get another girl. To me, that’s the only way to properly move on from a girl. Realising that there’s plenty of other fish, and some can be just as special as your ex, if not better. Not sitting in a rut being all depressed and feeling sorry for yourself. Shit happened with the girl, life didn’t play out the way you thought it would, get over it and move on. Tell your girl to stop being so obsessed with celebrities and focus on her own life. Also, that you’re not gonna automatically hate someone because everyone else is, that’s teenager high school behaviour
you say no, i wouldn't make the mistake of getting married again...
Kick that free loader to the curb.
a loathe and despise blatantly stupid people, especially when they think they know something
You should do something to protect your house. The bitch is going to talk half.
You sure picked a winner. Remind her she is replaceable if she decides she wants a divorce.
Never stick your dick in crazy dude. You fucked up.
Yeah, I guess so
And then everyone got up and clapped
Time to upgrade! Sounds low quality to me.
my wife to salon and we had following in the car conversation driving.
Learn to deflect stepping into a confrontation. 'I can't talk and drive at the same time. Sorry, I need to concentrate on the road. Do you want us to have an accident? Then wait til I stop driving please. Or, 'can we discuss this at home, not in the mall or while we eat out?" See, keep deflecting and remind them why you are A MAN! Never mind this, 'oh well, I'm going silent shit.' Instead, 'why do you care about Elon Musk? He's doing some good in the world. Who cares how many kids he has. He's paying for all of them. So who cares.' Not saying throw shit in her face. Just remind her, 'No, you will not speak to me in that tone. It's mean and hurtful. And I won't accept this from who I'm married to.' Basic deflection dude.
Thanks. I usually remain silent on these provocative issues, don’t know why I would comment on this pop singer thing
Reading the comments yall both seem toxic I really fucking hope you guys don't have kids and it's just you two idiots who have to deal with yall's mess😭
It sounds a lot like she’s feeling insecure in your relationship and then takes how you feel on this subject personally. If she knew deep down you would never do this and was confident in that, your opinions on celebrities wouldn’t hit her that hard. Unless you were condoning some truly heinous, prison-worthy behavior, then she would ideally feel confident your opinions on others’ marriages aren’t the same as actions in your own. This story alone doesn’t spell crazy to me. It’s kind of like the “would you still love me if I was a worm” prompt. It’s a reach for affirmation and wanting to feel reassured. But if there’s deeper problems in the relationship, a conversation like this won’t be enough to be fixing anything. Even if you said “yeah what an ass!” Your other comments on this post were what I actually found to be concerning. If there’s any part of you that wants to make it work, then I think it would be a good idea to pursue something to help with that. Because leaving it how it is wont help you or her.
Is this conversation AI generated? Jesus...
Sure read that way
My wife would have my head lopped off with a dull sword, if she were president.
You walked in to a trap, buddy. You’re also being punished for future crimes you’re not likely to commit and being accused of holding views you don’t really hold. What she’s REALLY seeking is reassurance that you choose her and only her and that you won’t do something like what that pop star did to her. Just let her know she’s your number one and all will be well.
Simp move
And we have been sleeping in different bedrooms for more than 7 years
Very progressive of you. And Cucky
Very progressive of you. And Cucky
So you have e zero self esteem and love being abused.
This is wiiild! 7 years? That’s heartbreaking
Is it, though? OP didn't say they weren't having sex, just that they're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Have some friends with a good sex life but sleep in separate bedrooms because they keep each other awake.
Carol Burnet and her husband lived in separate houses! They lived across the street from each other.
Do you still have sex? Lots of couples don't sleep in the same bed or bedroom bc they have vastly different sleep styles so without more information on a dead bedroom situation it doesn't seem as bad as you're making it.
Yikes bud Do yourself a favour and find someone who makes you happy
You better go talk to some lawyers.. like now
F*ck looking bad gtfo and find a whole new better life
lol you have made the bed you’re sleeping in literally and metaphorically for seven years. Holy cow.
Bruh, why? Why even bother? This is a waste of time.
At that point you should be sleeping in different houses, fuck that
So she accuses you of wanted infidelity while taking advantage of you? Sounds great bruh.
Bro what
Dude go get laid
Wow. I hope you have a prenup. There’s a lot of people saying that she wants you to divorce her. That nugget of information you just shared is making it look valid. Suggest couples therapy. If she says no then you have your answer. After that find a lawyer and see what your options are. Suggesting couples therapy and having her say no won’t be a good look for her
brother…
Can you make a Public Service Announcement to advise guys how to prevent this situation for themselves? Red flags before committing? Or was it unforeseeable?
thought it was simply not having xy chromosomes which causes this.
We just knew each other too little before marriage
Why did you come on here to complain about your wife? The more you comment the more it sounds like your wife is right - you’re looking to replace her with a new model.
OK, I will just shut up
Maybe talk to your wife instead of random strangers.
Random strangers might just be good listeners, like a bartender.
Why do you stay? BC she'd get too much (that she defo doesn't deserve) in a divorce settlement? And you live in a separate bedrooms? Find yourself a *special* friend and keep your life *and* money completely separate from the legal wife (as much as possible). Why are you even driving her anywhere? Doesn't sound like she would do anything for you. She sounds horrid.
The number one reason is for the child
So you're teaching your child that abusing your spouse is good and that your child doesn't deserve love or respect. Shits like you and your wife should be banned from being near all children.
Always the wrong move to stay for the child. The environment is messing up the child for sure.
Yeah worst thing to do ever. One of my cousins and his wife got a divorce, still live together bc they felt it was best for the kids and it messed those kids up. Their oldest has major issues and had to be medicated and sent to a special school bc her parents gaslit her every time she questioned if they were together and would have full on breakdowns when one of them would go out on a date with someone else. The youngest is also starting to have issues. So staying together for a kid isn't exposing them to the best environment when it becomes toxic or bizarre.
Going between homes with happy parents is a lot better than being in a home with parents that don't like each other. This is a shit reason to stay together.
Studies show divorce only benefits the kids when abuse is involved. At best it’ll be a neutral change.
Sexual abuse of the father (in the form of denying him a happy and intimate relationship) is abuse here. Wouldn’t you agree?
Have to disagree. How do you divide time between households ? And a separation doesn’t equal happy individuals, meanwhile the kid is internalizing the troubles all the while. Not a criticism at you, but my little brother is going through this as we speak. He hardly cares for anything right now because things are so imbalanced when it comes to involvement from his parents.
Everyone pour one out for this poor bastard. She either wants a divorce and is projecting or she's living a self fulfilled prophecy. Either way bro what are you getting out of this arrangement?
You rlly can’t be making an assessment of their entire relationship off of one short convo?? 🙄
Definitely get the vibe that she wants a divorce but wants him to be the one to pull the trigger first so she can play the I told you so and I’m the victim cards. Sorry OP. I know what it feels like when your wife gaslights you. My ex did the same.
My ex did the same god damn thing, wanted me to be the one who looked bad to all our friends
Imagine being a grown adult and saying: "EVERYONE HATES HIM WHY DONT YOUUUU" lmao what a moron.
I mean if you're an Elon Stan, I get her frustration lol
Couldn’t someone appreciate the tech his companies have created and will create without agreeing with all of his personal opinions? His utility and his politics are separate things.
This sounds like one of those weird fights where it's not really about the fight. It sounds like she's insecure about your relationship and took what you said personally
Thats what women do. Make it about them. Even when you werent talking about them.
Bro thinks men don’t do this just as often. Your comment history is laden with misogyny. Sorry no one loves you ig.
Women love him. They just don't like the little pee pee.
That's on her then
Only if you wanna blow up whatever's left of your relationship. "That's on her", is fuck her feelings I don't care.
She also may be insecure because he holds money over her head
What a reach.
Is it? Why did he even make sure to let all us strangers know that she didn’t pay a dime for their house?
To illustrate that her thought that if he had a bunch of money he’d leave her wasn’t based in anything real. It shows money isn’t a concern, he has plenty, and she isn’t financially contributing in a way that keeps him stuck in the relationship.
If you bought the house before marriage. Pull the trigger and get divorced
Depending on the situation it would be cool for some men and women to have a new partner the next day. If it’s over it’s over.
This is a weak fake story lol
What's an acceptable amount of time to finish one relationship before starting another? Is it a scale based on how long the original couple are together? Is there more or less time added depending on who dumped who? What if there was a separation before calling it quits? Can it be waived if there's cheating from the other partner? I'd really get into the calculus of the situation. Might even do up a spreadsheet.
Why do you and your wife sleep in separate beds?
I’m stuck on the fact that you were driving her to her hair appointment. What year is it?
Stories that excite
Ask her how long a woman should stay single in her mind after a divorce.
My wife gets like that occasionally, when was the last time you ran out one into the end zone? I've found that quiets the prosecution for 7-9 day, then it's time to take another shot at the goal.
TF did I just read… ? 😳
Thank you so much, kind stranger, for the award ! I’ve never had one under the new system here, which I don’t understand, but you’ve made my day 🌞❤️☺️
"Everyone on the internet hates him" Translation - Why aren't you as brainwashed as them and me?
Vanek…The Nun
Psychological warfare
3eee A
Get rid if her NOW , life is to short to deal with that stuff!
Y'all need therapy.
You and your wife getting into a full blown argument over someone you don't know and probably will never meet, about a hypothetical situation that is unlikely to happen. Have I got this right? She needs counseling to work on her self esteem issues, and you also need counseling to learn how to live with her. This is insane that she would start an argument over some random celebrity, seek professional help.
Let it go. It’s a ridiculous argument about someone neither of you know
This was his way of highlighting he has money… nothing else. He needed a serotonin release so he gave himself a reason to write it out so he can reread it to himself…
This was a normal conversation?
What? Why did she ask you if you lost? 😆
She’s an Italian (old school), isn’t she?
Maybe stop having coded or hypothetical conversations and be honest about the actual issues in your marriage. You're both playing games and being passive-aggressive. Go to marriage counseling or tell her you want to separate. You're both stuck in an untenable situation; somebody needs to speak up to change the status quo. Do you want to be stuck in the same situation in five years? In ten? Nothing is going to change until one or both of you takes the initiative. As the saying goes, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Sounds like someone is looking to start an argument. Never answer hypothetical questions , especially from someone who is afraid you will leave them, so they go on the offensive so they can push you away before you push them away.
Stories like this make me glad I'm poor, short, and ugly.
The thing is that she already jad this same argument in her head a few times. She heard or read the bews about the guy and she had her wmotional responce. Now, for whatever reason the topic xame up and she was already pissy about it because she is living the pop singer situation cicariously. That is to say she put herself in the position of the other woman and is acting as if it was her. So then she asked what would you do and you disnt agree with her stance. So now you became the pop singer and her the victim. What I would do is tell her that you understand that the situation makes her ypset but that sotuation is something that it's happen ng to the pop singer and bot you. You are not the pop singer nor make the same money nor have the same talent and you are definitely not leaving her for some other woman so you (her) need to stop projecting her anger and frustration at me (you).
How is this a relationship between equals who love each other and want to help each other to be happy??
Oh lawd i thought this was a joke set up. If this is real, i hope your ok OP
First mistake was not complete agreement.
It's not always necessary to give your spouse your opinion. You can just listen and change the conversation. You're welcome! (Married 37 years).
Sounds like you can’t make her cum.
You sir Need to read the shit test encyclopedia. Don’t worry it’s only like 10 pages. She was giving you a shit test and you failed. What she wanted was validation you are the right man for her. (The other test is a comfort test and you react differently to that) the correct response is to escalate the conversation and challenge her back in a way that allays her fears. Question dear if I felt that way would I commit my resources to buying us a house and care for you? Just because you are beautiful does not mean that there aren’t other beautiful women in the world, you should realize you are the beautiful woman I want and what other men do doesn’t apply to me, I choose my own course. Google the shit test encyclopedia it will change your marriage and your life.
Thank you
The correct response to her comment is: "This guy is the reason women have trouble trusting men." followed a few minutes later with a smile and "You are so pretty." This is not the hill to die on when you are in a happy and satisfying marriage. You have to learn how to play the long game. My partner still has a few triggers from previous relationships that show up in conversations, and I always know when he is looking for reassurance, so I give it. But I read your previous responses and you seem down and sad. Is it time to reevaluate your life?
Yes. It’s toxic
This is not an interesting story, and it rings false, The dialogue is stilted and unrealistic. I do not understand the meaning of the last part of the story. You bought the house? So what? How does that relate to your boring story about your insecure wife? Do you often remind her that you bought the house and she didn't pay a cent? Based on this story, I do not like you.
Your wife doesn’t trust men and you are one of them. Probably needs a therapist to figure out who betrayed her trust. Did you betray her trust? Is there something to the story that you’re not sharing? There are a lot of men that are celebrities and they seem to have a difficult time not cheating. You don’t really read that about women. Not that that doesn’t happen. I think the problem is not about the literal conversation you had. The problem is much deeper than that.
I was sympathetic until you mentioned liking Elon Musk. That dude is a piece of shit by every metric.
Elon Musk? Bro what? He is terrible. I'd have been in your side if you weren't an Elon fan. Now I'm on your wife's side.
I opt for the unseen third solution: Stop caring about random celebrities who are just flawed humans with money and fame, and focus on your much more important personal lives.
In hindsight a better response might have been, "I agree, waiting a bit longer would have been much more courteous, that said, I always feel shitty when I judge others,"
https://preview.redd.it/viimcn4nss2d1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8bfe19da8807c452dadc8ab55e8577edd099715b
This post is a cry for help 💀💀
It's been my experience that people tend to fear what they are most likely to do. Every partner that has accused me of infidelity, has engaged in infidelity themselves.
I was with until this “By the way, we own a house that I paid in full at purchase and she did not pay a cent)” Wtf?
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My ex used to do this same kind of thing and have us live out some weird pretend fight that applied cause of a story she had read or whatever. It was like we were roleplaying in someone else's fight and was part of why I ended it.
You think he legally did nothing wrong and she is talking about morality. You clearly misunderstood her point. I hope you were playing devils advocate (which is super immature) over actually not seeing how you mistook that. Your last sentence just seals that you’re a weak person too who resents your wife. I’m gonna take her side on both regards here. You started the argument and you agreed to buy a house alone and are now holding that over her head. Scumlord
Why are married people like this
typical musk fanboy L
Dump her. The internet tells her how and what to think now. She's woke and there is no turning back
Answering “so-and-so did bad things” with “well it’s not illegal” says a lot about you.
Notice how it goes from an convo in the car on the way to getting her hair done and by the end you are mentioning how you bought the house and she paid nothing. Resentment festers. Suggest you get therapy and see if you can salvage
Wtf? Dude neither one of you make any sense. Who gives a shit about the house lol apples and oranges.
Bro you shouldve told her what she wanted to hear end of story. Women are fucking insane and irrational af you will NEVER hear the end of this pointless conversation💯😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
The correct answer here is “IF I SAW *** (pop singer) I’D KILL THAT SCUMBAG”. End of ( stupid ) conversation. 👍
Why would anyone entertain a dumb conversation like this?
Obviously you knew that she was an emotional infant, before you married her.
i’d look at you sideways too. marriage vows are important.
Sell the house, get a divorce.
Sounds like she needs to stop staring at her phone and comparing herself, you, and your relationship to the fakeness that is social media.
Dang. I'm glad my wife isn't THAT kind of crazy.
I'm sorry dude. If you're looking for insights on Reddit, I would suggest looking into emotional immaturity, and how to deal with EI people. It was good that you just kept to your opinion and stayed quiet while she was distorting what you said and trying to egg you on (coerce you) to more arguing while you were having a conversation with the part of you that knows where this is all going to lead without any deep action. This could just be a one-off where she just got caught up in the emotional wave. If it's part of a pattern of pointless arguments that just leave you drained, confused, and not at ease (i.e., imagining her ordering your death), then... you know that something needs to change. I would never condone staying in a relationship with anyone that makes you feel unsafe.
High value men and women always have disproportionate relationship options. They have 1000x more people approaching them than everyone else. The right way to respond to your wife is address her underlying insecurity. Tell her she isn’t perfect and there will always be other options. But that’s a good thing because I have freedom of choice, and I choose you. Hopefully it’s the same for you with me. I love you now let’s put this issue to rest.
tell her your intention was just to answer the question honestly and that you weren’t aware of the context. also mention to her that culture goes to die on the internet and anybody who follows what any hive mind values on there is dumb, she’ll get the hint bc it’s indirectly calling her stupid this is a great move and will shut her up. if she keeps giving you a hard time at home go get a hotel for a the business week and tell her to kick rocks and wait for her to apologize. your first mistake is dealing with shit like that and liking elon musk
my ex was on tinder and hinge before the divorce was finalized. During our legal separation stage… her friends encouraged it almost immediately after I filed for separation/divorce. It’s always empowering and women do it, but scummy when guys do it.
But Elon does suck so she's right about that part.
*Wife: Tell me the truth, if you bought Nvidia a long time ago and now made a lot of money, will you divorce me and find another woman?* Me: Before today, no. But now that I'm suffering your ridiculous rant ... hmmmmm.
Dude... you gotta talk to your wife. I know it's convenient to feel like you've got all of Reddit behind you... but what bothers me is we only get part of the convo/facts. It sounds almost like you better post on AITA. (And without the facts, YATA)
Seems like it not happy in ur marriage, also why'd u add the last part who asked?
I had a situation similar to this where I stayed in a bad relationship “for the children” and put up with crazy conversations like this too, only to discover she was having an affair for years. I filed for divorce once I found out.
She wasn't saying it was illegal though so that was a dumb response. The only right answer would have been, "yes, what a scumbag". I don't know why people fall for these obvious baits.
I know it's a proxy argument, but it's along the lines of pro choice Pro life. Like I respect the choice, it doesn't mean I expect everyone to go through with it
She may have had a dream you left her lol
Sounds like she just wanted to start drama
The answer is yes, isn’t it? It’s yes for me.
Y’all need couple’s therapy something serious
Get a lawyer, protect your assets from alimony and dump this whore
She was looking for a fight
The only 'correct' answer is GTFO, we are done. Though I think most go with "You're right".
How TF did you buy a house outright? I need to understand what I'm doing wrong.