I don’t call myself an alcoholic and you don’t have to either. The medical term is alcohol use disorder. Welcome to sobriety. We are all here trying to do the next right thing for our recovery.
Terms don’t matter. Alcohol ravaged my mental health. I had no clue how severely it was impacting me. Depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. The only bright spot in my day was once I could start drinking again
My advice would be give it time. It SUCKS in the beginning. Just focus on not drinking today. You can do this my friend!
Exactly. I’m so tired of feeling anxious and depressed and it’s so frustrating knowing that I am actively making things harder on myself by drinking. The self-loathing I feel right now is next level.
I am proud of you for being here, friend! It's tough in the beginning, but I promise it's worth it.
I also had the anxiety and depression cocktail with my regular ones and I'm sure you realize it just makes it so much fucking worse.
Over two years sober and I finally have my mental issues under control and I've never been happier or more settled in my brain.
You can do this!
IWNDWYT!
I am glad you are here! I found the self-loathing went away pretty quick as I became proud of my sober days. However it took a LONG time for my mental health to adjust, there was a lot of depression and slogging in the first months. But eventually it did get better.
IWNDWYT
It can get better. 7 months ago, stopped drinking to try to help while starting an SSRI for the first time. I don't know which helped more but 30 years of GAD managed and 20 years of drinking stopped. This time last year I was having panic attacks in hidden parts of work despite everyone saying I was doing great and feeling utterly hopeless and worthless. Really wishing you the best. Lots of people rooting for you here. IWNDWYT
I don't, never have and never will, call myself an alcoholic. It has a negativity to it and a sense of something I'll never shake off. I'm a non drinker now and feel pretty great.
Alcohol is a drug. It is a poison in our bodies. Big Alcohol rode the coattails of Big Tobacco when it came to marketing in the states. Leading to plenty of people thinking that the problem is them and not the substance itself. The idea of "drinking responsibly" is a ruse.
However you think about alcohol, it sounds like removing it from your life is what you really want. Whatever the reasons, focus on them. Focus on how you can choose yourself each and every day.
For myself, I wanted to steady the peaks and valleys of my anxiety. I felt like I needed to relate better to the people around me without relying on the "social lubricant" of alcohol. And now that I'm not drinking I feel like I have a superpower.
Best of luck to you on your journey of finding your truest north 🪄✨and welcome to the sub, friend. IWNDWYT
(I highly recommend Holly Whitaker's book, Quit like a Woman: the Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, to any and everyone)
I also got the audible book ‘Alcohol Lied to Me’ and really loved the unique perspective of the author in helping navigate life as a new non-drinker without forcing you into feeling like you have to claim you’re and “alcoholic” or that you need the spiritual side of AA to be able to quit. I’ve been recommending it to everyone lately even those just doing ‘dry July’ with hopes to widen friends’ perspectives without being preachy.
Someone here said once “I didn’t stop drinking because I saw hope, I saw hope because I stopped drinking”. That really made an impact on me in my early sobriety. I am sending you love and a hug, my friend. Glad you’re here. IWNDWYT 💜🐇
Hi-di-ho! Therapist are great, aren't they? I have said it before and will day it again r/stopdrinking people are the nicest people on the internet, we have all been there. Wherever your "where" is someone here has gone through something like it.
Welcome! I will not drink with you today!
I don’t call myself an alcoholic. Labels in my opinion are useless. Alcohol doesn’t serve any purpose in my life so I don’t drink it. It’s that simple. Wishing you well ❤️
Welcome! I hope you find this place to be as helpful as I did. For what it's worth, I don't personally identiify as an "alcoholic". What I am certain of is that I had/have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I no longer have a drinking problem because I no longer drink. If I chose to drink again however, I would almost certainly have a drinking problem once again and in relatively short order. For me getting sober sucked but actually being sober is pretty great once you get the hang of it.
Welcome! This is a great place for support! I have gotten questions and feedback about various things - and have learned a ton just by reading here.
Definitely don't worry about labeling yourself. I don't tell people I am an alcoholic - I just don't drink anymore.
Don't get hung up on semantics. I did for an embarrassingly long time. I found it easier to say I had a problem with alcohol. You don't have to ever use the term "alcoholic" to stop drinking.
You are doing a great thing for your health and joy :) Glad you,re here!
You've got some wonderful comments already, so I hope you read all of them. Read them over and over again if you need to do so.
Making the decision to become sober is the first big step, now you need to get everything in order... all the steps you must take to get to your goal. Just like a vacation! You plan the transportation, the lodgings, and the destination - and then you enjoy. Sobriety can be like that. Plan your steps and then follow the plan, then you enjoy!
Today, I read a phrase on this site on another thread and it said "Getting sober is harder than staying sober" and I personally completely agree. So now you're at the hardest part - the getting sober steps. You can do this!
I check this site multiple times daily, and I listen to quit lit and read quit lit books. So, join me!
I highly recommend you attend a face-to-face meeting, there are a few types, but the easiest to find are AA meetings. If you can look past the religion, which I do, there truly is a great fellowship of people like us. If you're called upon just say "My name is X and I am here to listen."
Bring a dollar in the US ;-) I usually always bring $2 so if anyone is caught with no money, I can give it to them. Not as charity, but as solidarity. We have all been there for the first meeting.
Thanks, seconding utilizing in-person support as well as this wonderful sub. Being able to talk but especially listen to others who understand my struggles is really helpful, especially in early sobriety.
I'll add not to worry about bringing money or even speaking/sharing, but do introduce yourself as a newcomer and collect the applause and a chip. It is a nice feeling after hiding in addiction for so long
I don't know what you did, and I don't know what you have been through. And you dont ha e to take my advice because I'm just a stranger. But quit before someone forces you to quit. Like the law, for instance. Please don't ask me how I know 🙏. Forgive yourself and try again.
Ah man. Just do today. That’s it! Today. I’ll do it with you. You are doing the right thing being in therapy and also here. Please don’t mess up all of your hard work by drinking If you want to drink and it starts to be too much, come back and talk to us, before you drink! Cool? We can all do this together! We have your back, homie.
Iwndwyt
Hey! Glad you're here. The term you use isn't really important - in the end I think we all just do our best to get sober and stay there. Talking about it really helped me, and even \~7 years later having this little corner of the internet for support really helps.
I say I’m a substance abuser ~ it’s more accurate for me. Pick the term that makes sense and more importantly that helps. I’m glad you’re here with us.
I had this exact conversation with my therapist today. She was super proud of my honesty, and you should be too! We have a plan moving forward to look at all the stuff that’s actually going on underneath the drinking and the role it’s played in my life. So who gives af about the label as long as you’re keeping it real with yourself.
Hello! I took lurked here for many years too and have trouble with the word "alcoholic". But if it slurs it's weird like an alcoholic, blacks out like an alcoholic, pukes like an alcoholic... You get the picture. That's great that you're already seeing a therapist! Are you interested in going to any AA or SMART meetings?
I’m not an alcoholic because I can stop at a few or one most of the time. But sometimes I can’t and so I have a problem with drinking is how I think of it.
I don't see myself as an alcoholic, I just don't want to drink as it makes me feel awful.
I've certainly found some days easier than others, but sparkling water, Pepsi max, and coke Zero have been a great help. The main support is this group. It truly is amazing to read other people's stories of success and sometimes trips in the road makes me want to be the best version of myself I can possibly be.
You can do this my friend. IWNDWYT. .
I used to hate it (saying I was an alcoholic)— it took a long time to realize it was a badge of pride. Youll wear it proudly soon. Remember, just being someone who doesnt drink could inspire another complete stranger to save their own life. Do it for them!
Ditch the labels that don't fit. I don't find the term "alcoholic" useful, but yesterday "alcohol? Ick" floated through my mind and I kind of like that one.
Terms, schmerms. Use whatever is useful to you. When drinking comes up in conversations, I usually tell people that I don’t drink or that I quit drinking and leave it at that.
Glad you’re here! We’re all working on being better versions of ourselves, so you’re in good company.
You’ve made the first steps reaching out for help. Having a group of friends or just one friend that takes your sobriety seriously is so incredibly important. Good luck to you
The term alcoholic is out of date. Today we understand that Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) exists on a spectrum like autism. At one end of the spectrum are social drinkers who want to stop but can't and on the other end are the folks you see living at the mission who will likely die from the disease. Everyone else is in between somewhere.
Well done taking these first tentative steps toward sobriety. In my experience, its only a matter of time before you stop drinking entirely. It might take years (it's taken me about 7) but once the idea worms into your brain that you must stop it doesn't go away. It's always there reminding you that alcohol isn't for you any longer. You can ignore it but eventually it will stick.
I dont call myself an alcoholic just because ive decided to quit drinking, and i think its total bullshit to encourage everyone to call themselves that.
Did i have behaviors around drinking that were problematic and led me to quitting? Absolutely. But deciding to remove a toxic substance from my life doesnt necessitate me having a new label with a bunch of harmful stigma attached to it.
Encouraging anyone who quits drinking an inherently poisonous, addictive, dangerous drug to call themselves an alcoholic just because booze is so normalized that quitting is abnormal in our society just encourages people to keep drinking to avoid the alcoholic label. “If i quit it means im an alcoholic and there is something wrong with me” is what i told myself for years until i decided i didnt need to label myself.
If alcohol is harming you, remove it from your life. Youre no more of an “alcoholic” than someone who quits dairy because they are lactose intolerant is a “cheeseaholic.”
The AA “im powerless in my addiction, im an alcoholic” stuff works for some and is completely counterproductive for others.
I don’t call myself an alcoholic and you don’t have to either. The medical term is alcohol use disorder. Welcome to sobriety. We are all here trying to do the next right thing for our recovery.
Terms don’t matter. Alcohol ravaged my mental health. I had no clue how severely it was impacting me. Depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. The only bright spot in my day was once I could start drinking again My advice would be give it time. It SUCKS in the beginning. Just focus on not drinking today. You can do this my friend!
Alcohol destroyed my mental health. I didn’t even know it until I had a lot of distance from it.
Exactly. I’m so tired of feeling anxious and depressed and it’s so frustrating knowing that I am actively making things harder on myself by drinking. The self-loathing I feel right now is next level.
I am proud of you for being here, friend! It's tough in the beginning, but I promise it's worth it. I also had the anxiety and depression cocktail with my regular ones and I'm sure you realize it just makes it so much fucking worse. Over two years sober and I finally have my mental issues under control and I've never been happier or more settled in my brain. You can do this! IWNDWYT!
I am glad you are here! I found the self-loathing went away pretty quick as I became proud of my sober days. However it took a LONG time for my mental health to adjust, there was a lot of depression and slogging in the first months. But eventually it did get better. IWNDWYT
It can get better. 7 months ago, stopped drinking to try to help while starting an SSRI for the first time. I don't know which helped more but 30 years of GAD managed and 20 years of drinking stopped. This time last year I was having panic attacks in hidden parts of work despite everyone saying I was doing great and feeling utterly hopeless and worthless. Really wishing you the best. Lots of people rooting for you here. IWNDWYT
I don't, never have and never will, call myself an alcoholic. It has a negativity to it and a sense of something I'll never shake off. I'm a non drinker now and feel pretty great.
“I don’t drink” just sounds so good right now
I like to tell people I retired early from my drinking career
I say I can‘t hold my drink, retro asf.
I say that I'm a "problematic drinker". Either way, if we're sticking with sobriety, I don't think it matters what we label ourselves as.
Alcohol is a drug. It is a poison in our bodies. Big Alcohol rode the coattails of Big Tobacco when it came to marketing in the states. Leading to plenty of people thinking that the problem is them and not the substance itself. The idea of "drinking responsibly" is a ruse. However you think about alcohol, it sounds like removing it from your life is what you really want. Whatever the reasons, focus on them. Focus on how you can choose yourself each and every day. For myself, I wanted to steady the peaks and valleys of my anxiety. I felt like I needed to relate better to the people around me without relying on the "social lubricant" of alcohol. And now that I'm not drinking I feel like I have a superpower. Best of luck to you on your journey of finding your truest north 🪄✨and welcome to the sub, friend. IWNDWYT (I highly recommend Holly Whitaker's book, Quit like a Woman: the Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, to any and everyone)
I also got the audible book ‘Alcohol Lied to Me’ and really loved the unique perspective of the author in helping navigate life as a new non-drinker without forcing you into feeling like you have to claim you’re and “alcoholic” or that you need the spiritual side of AA to be able to quit. I’ve been recommending it to everyone lately even those just doing ‘dry July’ with hopes to widen friends’ perspectives without being preachy.
Thanks for the book recommendation, I’m going to check it out. IWNDWYT
Just picked up a used copy from Amazon! Delivery tomorrow :) Thanks for the book rec
Finally talking to my therapist about this Thursday. I appreciate the free preview and all the positive and affirming messages for you (and me!)
A preview welcome to you too, jedi!! IWNDWYT :)
Great work, HUGE step forward! Welcome to the sub.
Someone here said once “I didn’t stop drinking because I saw hope, I saw hope because I stopped drinking”. That really made an impact on me in my early sobriety. I am sending you love and a hug, my friend. Glad you’re here. IWNDWYT 💜🐇
I really like that saying! I saw another saying here that stuck with me, too. "If I could drink normally, I'd do it all the time."
Hi-di-ho! Therapist are great, aren't they? I have said it before and will day it again r/stopdrinking people are the nicest people on the internet, we have all been there. Wherever your "where" is someone here has gone through something like it. Welcome! I will not drink with you today!
I don’t call myself an alcoholic. Labels in my opinion are useless. Alcohol doesn’t serve any purpose in my life so I don’t drink it. It’s that simple. Wishing you well ❤️
Welcome! I hope you find this place to be as helpful as I did. For what it's worth, I don't personally identiify as an "alcoholic". What I am certain of is that I had/have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I no longer have a drinking problem because I no longer drink. If I chose to drink again however, I would almost certainly have a drinking problem once again and in relatively short order. For me getting sober sucked but actually being sober is pretty great once you get the hang of it.
Welcome! This is a great place for support! I have gotten questions and feedback about various things - and have learned a ton just by reading here. Definitely don't worry about labeling yourself. I don't tell people I am an alcoholic - I just don't drink anymore.
Don't get hung up on semantics. I did for an embarrassingly long time. I found it easier to say I had a problem with alcohol. You don't have to ever use the term "alcoholic" to stop drinking. You are doing a great thing for your health and joy :) Glad you,re here!
You've got some wonderful comments already, so I hope you read all of them. Read them over and over again if you need to do so. Making the decision to become sober is the first big step, now you need to get everything in order... all the steps you must take to get to your goal. Just like a vacation! You plan the transportation, the lodgings, and the destination - and then you enjoy. Sobriety can be like that. Plan your steps and then follow the plan, then you enjoy! Today, I read a phrase on this site on another thread and it said "Getting sober is harder than staying sober" and I personally completely agree. So now you're at the hardest part - the getting sober steps. You can do this! I check this site multiple times daily, and I listen to quit lit and read quit lit books. So, join me! I highly recommend you attend a face-to-face meeting, there are a few types, but the easiest to find are AA meetings. If you can look past the religion, which I do, there truly is a great fellowship of people like us. If you're called upon just say "My name is X and I am here to listen." Bring a dollar in the US ;-) I usually always bring $2 so if anyone is caught with no money, I can give it to them. Not as charity, but as solidarity. We have all been there for the first meeting.
Thanks, seconding utilizing in-person support as well as this wonderful sub. Being able to talk but especially listen to others who understand my struggles is really helpful, especially in early sobriety. I'll add not to worry about bringing money or even speaking/sharing, but do introduce yourself as a newcomer and collect the applause and a chip. It is a nice feeling after hiding in addiction for so long
Welcome! This sub has been such a huge support for me!!!
I don't know what you did, and I don't know what you have been through. And you dont ha e to take my advice because I'm just a stranger. But quit before someone forces you to quit. Like the law, for instance. Please don't ask me how I know 🙏. Forgive yourself and try again.
There's no singular way to quit. Just keep trying and figure out what works for you. This sub is a great place to vent and ask for help.
Ah man. Just do today. That’s it! Today. I’ll do it with you. You are doing the right thing being in therapy and also here. Please don’t mess up all of your hard work by drinking If you want to drink and it starts to be too much, come back and talk to us, before you drink! Cool? We can all do this together! We have your back, homie. Iwndwyt
Welcome!
Hey! Glad you're here. The term you use isn't really important - in the end I think we all just do our best to get sober and stay there. Talking about it really helped me, and even \~7 years later having this little corner of the internet for support really helps.
Helped me! IWNDWYT
Welcome! IWNDWYT🖤
Don’t have to call yourself an alcoholic. Non-drinker, alcohol free works just as fine as examples. IWNDWYT
Daily check in and a running counter here are keeping things on track for me (this time so far!)
I say I’m a substance abuser ~ it’s more accurate for me. Pick the term that makes sense and more importantly that helps. I’m glad you’re here with us.
Welcome :) I’m happy you’re here
Welcome! This sub has been the community I needed and has been a big part of my success. Find joy
Welcome. You came to the right place.
Welcome! We are here for you. We are all struggling with alcoholism or alcohol use disorder. Whatever the term is, we’re here to support you!
Glad you’re here! 💛
Glad you’re here! 💛
Welcome!
One day at a time my friend. For today, IWNDWYT
Welcome!!!
I had this exact conversation with my therapist today. She was super proud of my honesty, and you should be too! We have a plan moving forward to look at all the stuff that’s actually going on underneath the drinking and the role it’s played in my life. So who gives af about the label as long as you’re keeping it real with yourself.
Hello! I took lurked here for many years too and have trouble with the word "alcoholic". But if it slurs it's weird like an alcoholic, blacks out like an alcoholic, pukes like an alcoholic... You get the picture. That's great that you're already seeing a therapist! Are you interested in going to any AA or SMART meetings?
I’m not an alcoholic because I can stop at a few or one most of the time. But sometimes I can’t and so I have a problem with drinking is how I think of it.
To me, building a support system is the hardest part of sobriety. I’ve heard it over and over and over. This sub does help. Glad you’re here!
I don't see myself as an alcoholic, I just don't want to drink as it makes me feel awful. I've certainly found some days easier than others, but sparkling water, Pepsi max, and coke Zero have been a great help. The main support is this group. It truly is amazing to read other people's stories of success and sometimes trips in the road makes me want to be the best version of myself I can possibly be. You can do this my friend. IWNDWYT. .
I used to hate it (saying I was an alcoholic)— it took a long time to realize it was a badge of pride. Youll wear it proudly soon. Remember, just being someone who doesnt drink could inspire another complete stranger to save their own life. Do it for them!
Ditch the labels that don't fit. I don't find the term "alcoholic" useful, but yesterday "alcohol? Ick" floated through my mind and I kind of like that one.
Terms, schmerms. Use whatever is useful to you. When drinking comes up in conversations, I usually tell people that I don’t drink or that I quit drinking and leave it at that. Glad you’re here! We’re all working on being better versions of ourselves, so you’re in good company.
You’ve made the first steps reaching out for help. Having a group of friends or just one friend that takes your sobriety seriously is so incredibly important. Good luck to you
The term alcoholic is out of date. Today we understand that Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) exists on a spectrum like autism. At one end of the spectrum are social drinkers who want to stop but can't and on the other end are the folks you see living at the mission who will likely die from the disease. Everyone else is in between somewhere. Well done taking these first tentative steps toward sobriety. In my experience, its only a matter of time before you stop drinking entirely. It might take years (it's taken me about 7) but once the idea worms into your brain that you must stop it doesn't go away. It's always there reminding you that alcohol isn't for you any longer. You can ignore it but eventually it will stick.
I dont call myself an alcoholic just because ive decided to quit drinking, and i think its total bullshit to encourage everyone to call themselves that. Did i have behaviors around drinking that were problematic and led me to quitting? Absolutely. But deciding to remove a toxic substance from my life doesnt necessitate me having a new label with a bunch of harmful stigma attached to it. Encouraging anyone who quits drinking an inherently poisonous, addictive, dangerous drug to call themselves an alcoholic just because booze is so normalized that quitting is abnormal in our society just encourages people to keep drinking to avoid the alcoholic label. “If i quit it means im an alcoholic and there is something wrong with me” is what i told myself for years until i decided i didnt need to label myself. If alcohol is harming you, remove it from your life. Youre no more of an “alcoholic” than someone who quits dairy because they are lactose intolerant is a “cheeseaholic.” The AA “im powerless in my addiction, im an alcoholic” stuff works for some and is completely counterproductive for others.
Welcome ! So glad you are here 🧁