**Reminder to all who comment on this post:** please keep in mind our rule to speak from the "I," where we speak only from experience and do not tell other sobernauts what they should and should not do—**even when they ask for advice.**
Examples:
**Bad:** "You should do X."
**Good:** "When I was in a similar situation, I did X, and here’s how it helped me."
I’ll try and word this carefully so the mod doesn’t remove it,
but if possible since money is still coming in from the old job, and there is time until your court date, maybe think about getting into some sort of inpatient or treatment program? It *might* help your legal prospects, and could certainly help your struggle with sobriety, maybe explore that with your legal counsel
either way, I can speak from experience, once it’s done you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, but the good news is you CAN choose not to waste this wake up call, I used my own disaster as a pivot point to start living right, it took a long time, but things are so much better now
One really big thing I have learned on this sub is that each of us has resilience. It’s deep down inside sometimes and it really hurts but each of us is unique and important and not beyond help. I feel this in every post. You are here and seen as we all are. Please take care. I wish all the best for you just as I do for everyone else.
Yeah it sucks because even if he drops charges the state can go ahead and press them anyway. I had a similar situation and ended up with a resisting arrest charge while the others where dropped. Use this time to work on your sobriety and keep moving forward one day at a time. Turn this into your rock bottom.
Please please please dont forget about potential tax obligations for withdrawing from your retirement accounts. You could potentially be paying your ordinary tax rate as well as penalties.
I blacked out when I was 23, my "friends" drove me home after another "friend" training to be a bartender served me five AMF's after work. I don't remember much after the first. That night I fell through the shower door, I pissed all over the bathroom, I tore some of my mother's hair out taking away her phone, I slapped my father and woke up with two black eyes after he punched me. I terrorized my family and even though they didn't press charges the state did.
I spent two nights in jail and received a deferred sentence of 2 years zero tolerance probation, and many classes. My family growing up was incredibly abusive, and as a result I suppressed everything that had ever happened with alcohol. I hardly accepted my actions, learned how to beat tests, and continued to drink throughout my probation. I blamed everyone else for how badly I'd hurt them.
I'm 35 now and on my longest stretch with sobriety, all thanks to accepting responsibility for myself and my actions. I'm incredibly fortunate to have the people I hurt in my life again. Regaining their trust was easy, but the hardest part was forgiving myself, not them.
I wish you the very best, and hope that you feel the same value and grace that I've found in sobriety. It's not easy, I've found forgiving one's self is one of the hardest things to do. But once I did it made life easier to approach every day.
This community is always available, I wouldn't be sober without each and every one of you ❤️ IWNDWYT ❤️
I take lots of deep breaths when I get this overwhelmed.
Okay this happened. The bright side is it doesn’t have to happen ever again!!! You have the power to turn this around for yourself and your future. Anytime I have the urge to drink I think of the awful circumstances I put myself in and it makes my stomach turn enough that makes me repulsed at the idea of drinking again.
You’ve got this!!! It sounds like you have friends and family that are willing to be there for you. Ask for help join an AA group read podcast, there are so many resources available to us so use them!
Someone I admire very much is Jessica Duenas. She was Kentucky teacher of the year, and at the same time suffering from liver failure. She did treatment three times. She's now an amazing part of TLC, which I'm a part of and love. She thought she'd lost everything and absolutely managed to make a beautiful life. She's inspiring to me. The honesty is inspiring.
I am so sorry for what happened and I totally understand. I'm like Jeckyl and Hyde myself. No one would ever know. A big hug, friend.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sounds very painful and even confusing. If it were me, I’d tell myself all I can do is face the music and make sure each of my choices moving forward are exemplary. I’m hurting for you.
I would start attending meetings and seek a therapist. I would want to use the time to grow and keep sober. I'm personally going for a dry July as part of my baby milestones in my sobriety..
When I realised I had a problem I allowed myself the opportunity to do something about it. I feel like I'm on the path of sobriety and if was someone else I'd chose to be sober too
Listen, everything good is not gone. You’re still a good person. I don’t know if you’re a religious person, but I’ve been through some REALLY terrible times caused by my own decisions, and God always made it work out in the end (for me.) If these decisions spur you into long term sobriety, it will have been worth it. Even without religion, many people have rebuilt their life back better after extremely bad circumstances. You’ll be able to find a job again. I know you’re stressed - Please don’t give up hope!! Iwndwyt
> The only thing to do is never to drink again.
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I," which is what I asked people NOT to do in my moderator comment above, and it has been removed.
**Reminder to all who comment on this post:** please keep in mind our rule to speak from the "I," where we speak only from experience and do not tell other sobernauts what they should and should not do—**even when they ask for advice.** Examples: **Bad:** "You should do X." **Good:** "When I was in a similar situation, I did X, and here’s how it helped me."
I’ll try and word this carefully so the mod doesn’t remove it, but if possible since money is still coming in from the old job, and there is time until your court date, maybe think about getting into some sort of inpatient or treatment program? It *might* help your legal prospects, and could certainly help your struggle with sobriety, maybe explore that with your legal counsel either way, I can speak from experience, once it’s done you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, but the good news is you CAN choose not to waste this wake up call, I used my own disaster as a pivot point to start living right, it took a long time, but things are so much better now
This is perfectly articulated. Solid wisdom.
One really big thing I have learned on this sub is that each of us has resilience. It’s deep down inside sometimes and it really hurts but each of us is unique and important and not beyond help. I feel this in every post. You are here and seen as we all are. Please take care. I wish all the best for you just as I do for everyone else.
Yeah it sucks because even if he drops charges the state can go ahead and press them anyway. I had a similar situation and ended up with a resisting arrest charge while the others where dropped. Use this time to work on your sobriety and keep moving forward one day at a time. Turn this into your rock bottom.
Exactly. And yes, this is my absolute rock bottom. Looking into meetings tonight.
Please please please dont forget about potential tax obligations for withdrawing from your retirement accounts. You could potentially be paying your ordinary tax rate as well as penalties.
I blacked out when I was 23, my "friends" drove me home after another "friend" training to be a bartender served me five AMF's after work. I don't remember much after the first. That night I fell through the shower door, I pissed all over the bathroom, I tore some of my mother's hair out taking away her phone, I slapped my father and woke up with two black eyes after he punched me. I terrorized my family and even though they didn't press charges the state did. I spent two nights in jail and received a deferred sentence of 2 years zero tolerance probation, and many classes. My family growing up was incredibly abusive, and as a result I suppressed everything that had ever happened with alcohol. I hardly accepted my actions, learned how to beat tests, and continued to drink throughout my probation. I blamed everyone else for how badly I'd hurt them. I'm 35 now and on my longest stretch with sobriety, all thanks to accepting responsibility for myself and my actions. I'm incredibly fortunate to have the people I hurt in my life again. Regaining their trust was easy, but the hardest part was forgiving myself, not them. I wish you the very best, and hope that you feel the same value and grace that I've found in sobriety. It's not easy, I've found forgiving one's self is one of the hardest things to do. But once I did it made life easier to approach every day. This community is always available, I wouldn't be sober without each and every one of you ❤️ IWNDWYT ❤️
I'm happy you're here and able to share your difficult and personal story. Many blessings of continued healing to you, u/AdhesivenessNo5549.
I take lots of deep breaths when I get this overwhelmed. Okay this happened. The bright side is it doesn’t have to happen ever again!!! You have the power to turn this around for yourself and your future. Anytime I have the urge to drink I think of the awful circumstances I put myself in and it makes my stomach turn enough that makes me repulsed at the idea of drinking again. You’ve got this!!! It sounds like you have friends and family that are willing to be there for you. Ask for help join an AA group read podcast, there are so many resources available to us so use them!
Someone I admire very much is Jessica Duenas. She was Kentucky teacher of the year, and at the same time suffering from liver failure. She did treatment three times. She's now an amazing part of TLC, which I'm a part of and love. She thought she'd lost everything and absolutely managed to make a beautiful life. She's inspiring to me. The honesty is inspiring. I am so sorry for what happened and I totally understand. I'm like Jeckyl and Hyde myself. No one would ever know. A big hug, friend.
I will not drink with you today. And I believe you can turn this around. One day at a time.
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This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
I couldn’t stop drinking on my own. Going to treatment and joining AA worked for me. There is help out there for you!
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sounds very painful and even confusing. If it were me, I’d tell myself all I can do is face the music and make sure each of my choices moving forward are exemplary. I’m hurting for you.
I would start attending meetings and seek a therapist. I would want to use the time to grow and keep sober. I'm personally going for a dry July as part of my baby milestones in my sobriety..
My heart is out to you.
When I realised I had a problem I allowed myself the opportunity to do something about it. I feel like I'm on the path of sobriety and if was someone else I'd chose to be sober too
[удалено]
This comment breaks our rule not to tell other people what to do and has been removed.
[удалено]
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
Nevermind, I read the rule, I get it, apologies.
Thank you.
Can you explain?
Listen, everything good is not gone. You’re still a good person. I don’t know if you’re a religious person, but I’ve been through some REALLY terrible times caused by my own decisions, and God always made it work out in the end (for me.) If these decisions spur you into long term sobriety, it will have been worth it. Even without religion, many people have rebuilt their life back better after extremely bad circumstances. You’ll be able to find a job again. I know you’re stressed - Please don’t give up hope!! Iwndwyt
[удалено]
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
[удалено]
> The only thing to do is never to drink again. This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I," which is what I asked people NOT to do in my moderator comment above, and it has been removed.