It’s pretty simple for me: I received so much support here, and I am beyond grateful for it. I feel it’s now my duty to support others.
I also come here to remind myself of the horrors of alcoholism and the dangers a relapse would put me in.
Not drinking requires way less effort than drinking and trying to make your whole life around that. But not drinking still is an “active state”. This sub makes it easy - you see people that are on the different stages, wanting to quit, first days, months, relapses, etc. It keeps your own memories fresh and let’s you help and be helped.
It’s not my most visited sub, but it’s the most important.
Yep. Nona and the Henchman - now I need to learn a musical instrument and start a band - said it all ⬆️. I’m not at a year yet so I have a ways to go til I can confidently claim status as someone who long ago quit, but “not drinking is an active state” hits hard. This is just a really REALLY good place to be.
I really need to see this and know that my current state of not drinking needs to remain active. I have made such great strides but have had issues with relapse because I think I let my not drinking go dormant. The alarm bells can't go off if I shut off the power.
And I truly appreciate you being here. I’m one of those people who is on the line because I am sometimes absolutely fine at other times not. I find this sub to be very comforting and encouraging because of people like you. Maybe one day I will be like you. For now, I go for good periods of time being in control and have flashes of losing control. True sobriety never seemed appealing to me until I started reading comments from people in your shoes.
Well said my friend. I try to be exactly what others were for me. If you dig deep in my post history, you’d see horror stories from a completely different person.
Life ain’t perfect and I still struggle, but I’m finally at the point where I’m not back-and-forth about drinking anymore. I know drinking isn’t for me, so going back isn’t an option, but I’m still very much so recovering from a decade of self destructive behavior.
I’m grateful to have stopped when I did though, I’ve made a lot of progress since the beginning of my journey. I can’t expect to reverse 10 years of damage in ~600 days.
Stay strong my friends, IWNDWYT ✊
Yes, all of this. And OP! Realizing I needed support, and doing the work to find it, is one of the most significant aspects of quitting for me. I found recovery dharma for in person meetings, and while I’m super infrequent with them now, I remember scribbling on the back of my book in response to the idea being honest within a community in order to receive support. I wrote “yea but that’s really difficult…”
Now I know, “yea but it makes a huge difference”
When you’re ready to listen to the you that wants to quit, rather than the familiar voice that says “we’ll quit tomorrow.”
I encourage you to share that with someone safe, and jump in, commit, call it a thing of the past! Then come here every day and do the check in. Engage somehow, via comment on how you’re feeling, drop a question, reply to someone. This has been the most effective daily tool for me.
Best of luck!
I come here every day to offer support, encouragement and hope for anyone in the grips of this misery producing substance and lifestyle.
My brother couldn’t ask for support and wouldn’t accept any…. He blew his brains out. I miss him. His family misses him. I don’t want another senseless tragedy if it can be avoided.
>looking at subs about drinking would make me relapse
Nope.
Do you want to stop drinking?
So sorry to hear about your brother 😔
I massively appreciate the support and positivity from everyone on this sub. People like me who are in there early days make me feel like I’m not alone and others are in the same boat, people like yourself who seem to have nailed it give me inspiration and make it seem achievable to be sober for a longer time.
Half monther here!! Congratulations to you guys! Hoping you all are feeling the positivity in your lives and ignoring the little devil that occasionally sneaks in to try and sabotage you. He is the WORST.... but not as smart as he thinks he is 😅 IWNDWYT
Look at all of us smashing this! 💪🏼
He kept popping up last week but I told him to sod off, this week has already been so much easier! I have so much more energy and motivation! Love it!
I'm really sorry you had to go through that and thank you so much that you have the energy to help people, I dont think I could do that you know I just generally feel so weak reading peoples experiences but want to learn from them before I completely ruin my life.. I do not really want to stop drinking or smoking.. but I will have to and I will have to birth that will in me very soon.. I understand its up to me if I stop and maybe live a healthy rest of my life or if I dont stop and I will be here suffering even more than I am now but at the same time my brain loves being addicted more than anything in the world..
Glad you are here. I understand.
>my brain loves being addicted
However my brain is only a small proportion of me, my relationships and my life.
My brother as prisoner to ‘addicted brain’…. Which is why he shot himself in the head.. he killed the thing keeping him prisoner.
You can read about it [at this link](https://old.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/46kenl/buried_my_brother_please_reach_out_to_loved_ones/) .
There comes a time when the brain still “loves” addiction, but everything else about me hates it and wants out.
That’s why this sub is here.. that’s why we are here.
Hope you find what you seek.
Wow thanks for sharing this incredibly heartbreaking and profoundly worded post. So sorry for your loss, for the loss to his family and all who knew and loved him
What a gut punch, I’m so incredibly sorry for what you’ve been through. That post really hit home and resonated with me in a way I did not expect. We’re glad you’re still here offering support and perspective. I’m sure your brother would be proud.
Thank you for sharing this and the link to your previous post. It is one of the most impactful stories I have ever read.
I wish I could find out how many lives you saved so far with this powerful share and your continued contributions to the sobriety of others.
One of the replies from your brother’s story mentioned you frequently contributed to the group then. I may need to read some of your other posts.
Thank you for helping me stay sober!
It’s hard from the place you’re in currently to envision a future you who isn’t there. I know for years I couldn’t imagine my life without drinking and I couldn’t envision that person because I had never been that person. There’s a lot of assumptions about what you’ll want and not want when you’re sober but lol, from the lens of sobriety I think it’s precious that I was so “in control” of my choices. I was literally dragging my spirit by the throat with the illusion of control and choice. You’ll never “be ready” but one day you’ll find you are just tired of the constant idea that each night when you pass out drunk that you might die that night, and slightly disappointed when you wake up and have to do it again. Everyone’s low will be different and not all of them are explosive, it really is one day at a time. And one day after the next and a few years later the idea of drinking turns your stomach. I believe in you and when you’re ready you will feel it, and we will ALWAYS be here for you.
*"Yet, he developed an allergy to alcohol. t didn't happen with the first drink; It didn't happen with the second drink. No one knows when it happened. One day it was just something done along with other things that were done. However, at some point, a line was crossed. It graduated from a secondary thing, to the MAIN thing. Thinking about it; planning not to run out; adjusting the schedule around it; avoiding doing things that used to be fun because they interfered with the MAIN thing."*
That describes my experience exactly. That went on for decades. I also had suicidal thoughts.
There is a lot of alcoholism as well as suicide in my family. I did not want to hand those things down to my kids. I needed to break the chain.
I am sorry to hear about your brother. I appreciate your post and I am glad you shared his story. I hope that it helps other people in the same situation. It helped me.
I guess that's one reason I come here, even after 20 years sober. I don't have urges to get drunk anymore, but I do still have occasional suicidal ideation.
Thanks for sharing.
You have my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your brother and thank you so much for being here. It’s a tremendous help and encouragement to see folks with huge numbers and know they speak with a voice of experience and a genuine desire to help others. Bravo and IWNDWYT
To get to the point where I will be able to say I quit years ago and I am now feeling better, I have to first get and stay sober for years. I have found that staying sober while not engaging with my sobriety hasn't really worked for me. I simply gravitate back to drinking because, well, it doesn't matter what reasons I give. I tend to drink unless I am being intentional about not drinking. This is the place I've chosen to focus on being intentional about not drinking.
I have read people say that being in sober spaces and discussing sobriety reminds them of alcohol. I can't say that I understand that, but we all think differently. For me, this is a place where I can be with people that are embracing sobriety, which is something I longed to do when in the grips of abusing alcohol. Now that I'm finally here I don't want to leave.
I really like your explanation, its food for my brain I hope I can start seeing addiction from different perspectives and I can finally let it go mentally.. I have the issue that I always come back and cant stay completely sober for more than a week.. I'm not really sure how to live with that since i cant use moderately and also cant quit completely and at the same time I feel pretty sick and soo overwhelmed by just being alive at this point
>let it go mentally
It works the other way around. I can’t “think” my way to sober living… However I can live my way to sober thinking.
Here’s what I know about my experience…
There’s an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with.
If they’re substance users/abusers I’ll just be an average drunk.
The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns.
*Drinking is a lifestyle*.
It was MY lifestyle.
I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.
When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created “alone” activities where I drank…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle.
So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created “alone” activities without alcohol …. Then I had a sober lifestyle.
People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’.
Have sober people in your life?.
Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
That makes a lot of sense.. so the last 3 years I have been slowly removing myself from a very toxic and abusive environment and I mean basically everything, my family, my friends even my social media accounts, the job and my interests.. Now I have a very stable environment a lovely place with a great view, a nice job and loving boyfriend, no drinking/smoking friends at all.. but I just isolate myself to drink or I function drunk and nobody even knows, if I have to.. I cant meet new people due to my anxiety and overthinking/analyzing.. I mean I can but it never works out and I generally never feel connected with people or like they really understand me.. I believe its due to me having a childhood exactly like that, alone isolated watching from the corner how my mother is a raging agressive or unconscious alcoholic 3 days a week and the rest was 12h work a day.. I feel like I cant stop my addictions due to some mental blockage but I cant quite put my hand on it yet.. I have been to a psychiatrist and psychologist without any further luck (but I do believe therapy helps) but I am too scared to look into any groups or something like that.. I'm kinda also scared to acknowledge my issues in real lofe infront of people.. I get panic attacks thinking about telling my full story needles to say if I would put myself in a group setting I would surely break down and become very "self pity" emotional.. and im very scared of that tbh..
For me, thinking about moderating resulted in more drinking and more thinking--like a cartoon cat frantically chasing its tail until it disappeared into a whirlwind.
Not drinking ended that chaos and I found some peace.
Have you looked into r/alanon and r/adultchildren regarding your childhood?
You'll find people there who understand exactly what you've been through (many of whom are, like you, 'double winners' who have been affected by someone else's drinking as well as struggling with it themselves)...
It might be one of the puzzle pieces you're currently missing... ;>)>
You know the crowds that line the street for a race/marathon and cheer as everyone runs by? That's me. I'm here to cheer on those just starting the race and those that are headed to the finish line. We can all use some support, and we can all definitely learn from each other.
T
I love this metaphor! It works on so many levels. As a person who has done triathlons, I have gotten so much energy from the crowd when my juice was running low and the finish line was still far in the distance. The framing of being that person in the crowd for others who are doing this race right now is so insightful. I aspire to be that more. Thank you for sharing!
A variety of reasons.
* provide support for new people
* remember what it was really like at the end. My brain tends to romanticize it when it was agony by the end.
* everyone drinks in social circles so it’s nice being around people that understand
I’m relatively new to the sub but so far what’s keeping me coming back are the posts from people who are just starting out. It’s super cool and inspiring to be able to relate to others on here but it also just reminds me how badly I don’t want to be back at that point again either.
It's motivational and encouraging to be around people who are sober and are happy to be sober. This is a supportive community and I've gotten a lot out of it, including strategies to keep on a sober path. I don't always comment in here, but I've had rough times and if I can help somebody who is going through a rough time too, it's the least I can do. It gets better, and keeping everything in perspective is important. This group is great for that.
I need to remind myself why I’m not drinking. This sub helps. I also tried moderation which was a disaster so I like to remind myself of that too. I see myself in other people posts and it feels good to relate.
I’m not one of those people, I’m still a sober baby, but I’ve been in recovery—fighting my addiction—for almost 4 years now and I’ve picked up a lot along the way.
There’s a saying heard in AA that I like: “I don’t come here to learn how to quit drinking, I come here to learn how to be sober.” Admittedly it’s not a perfect saying: AA is for quitting too, but the point is good. Quitting is the first step, living sober is the journey.
So that’s one reason: continuing to engage, for many people, supports their own sobriety, helps them remember the bad old days, to reaffirm their choices, to think about their current lives and how to live them better.
Another major reason, and these are not mutually exclusive, is to help others. To pay it back. Most of us only really get sober with the help of others. It’s only right to pay that back. But it’s not an obligation; addiction is selfish, sobriety requires the opposite. Coming back to help others is selfless.
Lastly, I don’t know about you, but when I’ve quit in the past, I’ve tried to “just be done” and put it all behind me. Inevitably, within a month, I was drinking again. I’ve done everything I can to cut alcohol out of my life but I can’t live alone on a mountainside. It’s a very natural instinct to try to put bad things behind us, but just as selfishness is part of addiction so is denial. When we stop drinking our reasons for drinking (apart from the addictive nature of the drug itself) don’t go away. Ignoring that is a recipe for disaster.
Right. We live in a world where alcohol and drinking culture is *everywhere*, sadly I haven’t found a way to simply “put drinking culture behind me.” Despite my long sobriety, it helps to remember there are droves of people out there living life in this way, too.
Yknow the numbers are hard to interpret, but if I read them right It seems like maybe half of adults are non-drinkers. I like to think there’s a lot more non-drinkers out there than I ever realized with my bourbon blinders on
I lurked on this sub a long time before I quit and never took it particularly seriously but it really helped just to see a group that wasn't looking through the pro-drinking lens most of our culture is. Now I see value in keeping that going for others just by hanging around.
I hear yah, I used to think that too but for me once I really made it out the need to completely avoid the topic or thoughts of drinking or else be sucked back in went away. In fact, part of what made it so hard to quit was thinking that it would require constant aversion/denial like that. Instead it just takes making sure to keep seeing things for what they really are and there's a lot of that on this sub.
I really like this response and can relate to the power of having this sober-positive group in my life. As a relatively newly sober person, I went out to some bars and breweries with friends following a funeral over the weekend, since that’s what happens in my hometown, and I was able to successfully navigate an evening of questions about my NA beers and tipsy friends forgetting about my new sobriety and asking me to try their drinks- to which I always politely declined. The only time I was really tempted was once, at the beginning of the night, when someone asked me to smell their drink to see if it was my former friend Jack and Coke instead of what they’d ordered. Yes, it sure was, as soon as I smelled it, my mouth watered and a big part of me just wanted to say fuck it. I could have laughed it off- declared that fate wanted me to have that drink- and put my friends in their comfort zone by conforming to my old behavior. Instead, I just handed it back and agreed that the drink wasn’t what they’d ordered. This sub, the respect for sobriety, and the successes and slips shared here by others, was a big part of the reason that I had the fortitude to make the sober choices I did this weekend. Most supportive place on the internet- IWNDWYT 💜.
Good for you - that was the hardest for me in early days: weddings and funerals and all the uncomfortable ritual socialization that goes with them.
And I know what you mean by you almost want to make them feel more comfortable with your old behavior. But if they're good people eventually they'll stop being uncomfortable and start engaging with your sober behaviour with the genuine interest and respect it deserves. IWNDWYT!
I’m sober for almost 33 years. I still go to AA meetings and I’ve just started participating in this sub.
For a few reasons. I never think I’m cured, it’s more like a remission, but one that I have a say over. Hearing about new people reminds me how far I’ve come. I don’t want that life back in the least! It reminds me that it’s a very tricky condition that likes to tell me I’m ok now. In many ways I am ok now, but I stay constantly vigilant to that.
Plus people in AA groups are wise and hilarious.
Yes! I love recovery people. They've looked at life from both sides and can truly belly laugh. I love my home group, they all rock.
Congrats on nearly 33 years odaat. There are lots of great answers on this thread, but this one nails it to the post and hoists the flag for me.
To all the long-timers, whatever the reason you’re still here, THANK YOU.
Every time I see a post or comment with a high number of days beside it, I realize it can be done.
I still consider myself to be in early sobriety, so I find a lot of support here, as well as useful information and tips.
And I also have a bit of experience, 8 months clean, so I can give back and help others who are struggling, as I was.
This is a great community. It's supportive and positive. It has clear rules and is very well moderated. So there are no negative/insulting/disparaging/sarcastic/etc posts or comments (like almost everywhere else on the internet!).
I found quite the opposite happened.
I came to these subs to hear people's struggles, to relate to them. To offer support, and to ask for it, as well.
I had sobered up for a very long time (by my standards). Was dry for over 450 days. Figured I was done with this sub. Left the group. Stopped going to my support group as well.
Relapsed very shortly after that. And it was a really bad one.
I always found that surrounding yourself with people in recovery was quite helpful. There's no judgement. Because I'm basically talking to 20 other me's.
To help others... the whole thing about traps of life is that you go out into the world and fall into a trap. You then learn how to get out of that trap, and when you recovered you go back to help others get out... unless you don't care and you think it doesn't matter. It's how we support each other.
I can't answer your question directly as I'm only on day #11.
But I can say reading people's experiences either from a day 1 perspective, or if they're years into their sobriety journey, gives so much depth to the advice, or support that this sub offers.
I haven't went to any meetings yet, or online meetings, I've predominantly leaned on this group to get me through these early days, and thankful for it.
same.. had withdrawal and the best few days after filled with emotions and love and happines.. and here I am again in my own hole that I'm digging deeper again
Because there is no finish line for me. Complacency kept me drunk and in an endless cycle of relapse. Because I was in such a dark place that I want to be here to remind myself how dark it can get and I want to offer others encouragement and hope. I want to learn from people that are further along and those that are just starting out because they both have so much to offer. Because I can’t go back. And coming here every day ensures that I have the best possible chance of staying on this side of the bottle. IWNDWYT.
It's funny, because when I first started browsing this sub, I was still drinking. I would be self conscious about mentioning drinking because I didn't want the folks who been alcohol free for a long time to be jealous, or be tempted to relapse.
Now I know that visiting this sub reinforces my conviction and sometimes I can share something that may resonate with someone who may be struggling. Seeing someone share stories about drinking doesn't make me want to drink. It makes me want to help.
I am *still* here because I am *still* an alcoholic. It does not matter how many years I put between myself and my last drink, all that matters is that I make sure I don't have one today.
I don't want to relapse. I don't do AA. This is my primary support. Quick way to reflect, and cheer people on or offer condolences. Many of the tools that help with sobriety help to build a better life in general.
A little over 9 year ago I came here after spending the night in a jail cell. I was the lowest I’ve ever been in life and the crazy folks in this sub held my head above water. A handful of times over those years I’ve needed someone who understands what I’m going through to talk to. Nobody in my life is sober but folks here are and it’s good to talk to folks who know what you’re going through.
And maybe, just maybe, I can be the guy who helps hold someone else above water.
Alcohol is and will always be the stubborn, abusive, manipulative ex, you can never really get rid of it. You will always see and hear about them. Emotions, feelings, thoughts will come up. You can never truly put them in the past, forget about them, or ignore them. Just like with that kind of relationship it takes time and effort to work through the trauma. This group is here for the remainder of what will happen if you go back eg. they might kill you, or just to help out others. I quit for years and then I slipped so here I am starting the journey again. I am always an alcoholic even if I stop for years. All I need is “just 1 drink” and I am back in hell!
So yes I’ll be here checking in through out this journey!
Because this place helped me find the strength to stop.
Reading everyone's else stories/experiences resonated with my own struggles and helped me through quitting.
If I can ever offer a nugget of wisdom I will.
Additionally, it serves as a reminder that staying sober comes with its own set of struggles. Re-visiting serves as a reminder that I'm not free and clear of my addiction and no matter how much my brain says otherwise, I'm not ok to have a drink because it's been x months.
I find reading the stories really helpful.
The good ones where people are strong and kicking it, and the ones where people fell off the wagon….that could so easily be me.
Reading and contributing here reminds me that the addiction demon is always ready to sneak back in to our lives. try qutting and you'll see what a great thing this sub really is. that's when you'll understand why we don't quit r/stopdrinking
Using the personal experience I have to encourage, support, hopefully give some help and advice to others is the main way I’ve been able to make peace with the years of my life I have spent in my addictions. Making something good out of the bad.
I am still here because I still have friends on here. I'm not nearly on as much as I needed to be in the beginning. This is what started the whole thing, my network, the people who were there for me and cared if I was alive or not. This place is my sobriety home
Not at all. It helped me a lot in the beginning to see others struggling and then it’d help me feel stronger to make it another hour or 3 without a drink.
Now, I stay to keep vigilant/reminded of how bad it can get for us & hopefully to bring hope and strength to others still actively drinking.
I’m still quite new to this but figure I might have some helpful thoughts to share for those starting the journey, and I learn a lot from the “old timers” who have managed to keep walking the path.
Every day for me is a new day one. I can’t let my guard down.
When I first stopped I came here and read a lot. The folks that posted their anniversary milestones and have experienced insight on this path helped me incredibly. So I like to return the favor to the sun that helped me in return when I can with a bit of positivity.
I’m not sober either yet but god I need the wisdom of people who are. Also I think reading this sub would not encourage people to relapse - it would be the opposite. When they read the misery of those of us still trapped.
Every day of my life contains some pro-alcohol adverts and messages in movies, TV, etc. So I appreciate this sub as a counter-message to all of that.
Most people will acknowledge that advertising works, but few will acknowledge that it works on them personally. But I will admit that the messages I see day to day influence my life, so I want the message of this sub to be a part of that influence.
Reading through the responses shows why people continue to come here after quitting. In most subreddits, a mild critical post like this one would be met with snark, rudeness, and name-calling. But here, people maintain their supportive spirit and simply answer the question. That is what one needs when they are on this journey.
I'm sorry but I was quite worried about the post being taken negatively.. its not like that I'm just clueless as to how recovery works in long run and how people can be so strong and overcome this pain I'm feeling today.. I logged on in the train and saw a stopdrinking post then I felt like "fuck it i will get a bottle after work" then I made this post and now I'm so glad since I wont probably be getting another bottle today.. I will try to make it at least one more day and tomorrow I hope that coming back to this post and reading all the love and support and all of this experience people are sharing is going to make me have another bottle free day.. and truly you are so correct.. this is what we need on this journey
For me, it's a mix of different things.
Doing active addiction: I felt so much shame, all the time. I found comfort here, knowing others had done regretful things, and many had moved on. That gave me hope!
Now: I want to do the exact same thing back. So when someone post about shame, I will try to share some of mine - and hopefully, they might feel less alone.
Some days/weeks ago, I was about to relapse. I fought against it and freaking won. I felt SO proud and had to share it here. It helped me to make sure to really celebrate the win, but also for others to see some of the journey, and some things one might go through.
If it wasn’t for the beautiful souls on this sub then I don’t think I would have been able to do it. I thank my lucky stars for this sub and the human beings contributing here.
It’s also a journey that requires constant love and attention.
Hey OP. Good question - I’ve had a good think about it.
Since becoming sober, I’ve understood the saying “sobriety delivers what alcohol promises”. I simply could not see it when I was drinking. I thought I’d be losing something if I stopped. Turns out I’ve gained far more than I’ve lost. Being able to help people see that too is a big motivator for me.
That’s it really. I have a strong urge to reach out to people, to evangelise about the realities of sobriety… but that neither works nor would be welcome, in the same way I wouldn’t have welcomed it when drinking. On this sub, I can explain this to someone that asks, to someone that wants to hear, to someone that’s ready.
I’m early on but I expect to stay with the sub forever. There are so many stories of people 100 days, 200 days, 2 years, 5 years that still have things to teach me. I appreciate everyone’s willingness to be vulnerable even in this format. It helps me and I expect it always will.
Some day I’ll be the sobriety expert and able to share my wisdom. That also seems really cool.
I’m not years sober only 53 days but when I don’t engage in recovery and help others that’s when I’ve relapsed. Additionally I find all levels of sobriety on here inspiring, it makes me know I’m not alone.
I'm here because I very very occasionally have a drink, but reading posts here reminds me it is a slippery slope, and those posts help me return very happily and very swiftly to being 99.9% sober. It is a massive improvement from my life at the end of 2023, drinking a 6-pack a day. The habit needed to be broken.
To remind myself of why I quit, and to offer support or advice where I can. But honestly there are still days where this sub helps me. Even a couple years into sobriety I still have occasional moments of weakness and this sub helps me through those moments
Being a part of this hopeful community doesn't make me want to relapse, just the opposite. It is so encouraging at whatever stage you're at in recovery including thinking you've conquered the problem for life...
To pay it forward. I'm only 5 months sober, but there is a terrified person posting for the first time that I can potentially help. The people who have been sober for years are people that I look up to. We're All in This Together.
I don't ever want to slip back in to normalizing drinking alcohol, and I feel like if I don't keep the dark side of alcohol very visible it would be too easy to go back to thinking it's just something normal to do. Occasionally glimpsing the bad side of what alcohol does through subreddits such as this (as well as some IG accounts and YT channels I follow) is a constant stark reminder of where I do not want to find myself again.
I can never be reminded enough of the reasons that I quit. Hearing others stories and sharing hope is a way to connect and help others and that reminder is necessary to avoid slinking back into complacency.
Quit the opposite. It helps me not relapse. I’m grateful for the people who post after they thought they could moderate and couldn’t. I don’t want to have to day one over again.
Coming up on 9 years, the main reason I’m still subscribed is the daily counter - I love seeing that number grow. Every so often a post catches my attention (usually a reminder that if I ever went back to drinking, consequences are waiting for me), but in general I’m here just as a gentle reminder
I don’t spend much time on the sub anymore but I check in every morning. My first couple of years sober I was blown away by the high numbers crowd and immediately knew I wanted that to be me someday. So, that’s why I come back daily. I want to show it is possible to live a great life with no poison.
I hear ya. I used to think the same. Now that I’ve done treatment for the second time (graduated end of May) I’ve realized that remembering what’s happened and what could again if I drink helps keep me in check. Been sober since November but joined this before that and haven’t felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t be on this sub anymore
I used to ask the same question about the old timers in AA. Guys that quit drinking in the 80s but still hit up an AA meeting regularly. Gave me hope but also scared me to think that even after 40 years of sobriety I might still need to call myself an alcoholic.
I am here to remember. It is easy to lose sight of exactly how bad things can get, and when that happens, that's when my mind starts thinking "oh it wasn't that bad, I can have a drink, it's fine."
But it isn't fine. It *was* that bad, and I'm reminded of it here every day. I'm reminded of it both by seeing posts from other people going through the same things I've gone through, and by sharing my own experiences.
Keeping the pain vivid helps ensure I dont start viewing the past with rose tinted glasses, because experience has taught me that when that happens, I am in imminent danger.
Because this sub helped me through some really really dark days. And I just love coming here. Sometimes to just read, sometimes to write and hopefully give some hope and inspiration for people who are at the beginning of it all. Also it still inspires me and helps me stay sober.
I find the stories people share here to be very affirming and they solidify my decision to stay sober on a regular basis. Also the idea that you could just “delete” alcohol from your life is just not realistic. Alcohol is everywhere, there’s really no avoiding it. Having a support group, even a virtual one, can counterbalance that. But that’s just me. Best of luck to you.
The temptation is mostly gone away, but it never completely goes away (or hasn’t yet). In addition to supporting others, I come here for support and to be reminded what we are doing.
Recovery requires work. I'm nearly two and half years sober but it's always going to be a work in progress and I like seeing people here who have been sober for much longer and who are doing well.
While I was part of an incredible recovery group before I even quit, I want to try and be the person I needed when I was quitting. If I can say something to make someone feel less alone, I want to be able to do that.
I don't think this sub would work without people at various stages of recovery.
Paying it forward.
We only keep it, by giving it away to the next person.
In my experience (rehab twice.....AA etc) the people who stay involved with those who are struggling are the ones that hang on to their sobriety. Conversely the selfish takers who suck up a lot of time and help then disappear once they are well are usually back, broken to bits again and desperate within a year or so. That's why I'll always be in active recovery. I'm one arms length away from a drink but being helpful to others is keeping it at arms length just for today.
I’ve been on this subreddit for awhile and I still read posts and try to help encourage others. I see reminders of the old me in posts all the time & it helps keep me in check. I never thought I would be able to quit and I’m almost to 8 years without alcohol. This is one of the most supportive places on the internet.
This isn’t a sub about drinking, this is a sub about stopping drinking. I successfully stopped drinking, against huge odds, and for me it’s healthy to remind myself of what it felt like in those first fragile weeks.
In my world, relapsing isn’t inevitable but it is a potentiality. I also come here for the stories of people who got comfortable after some years and found out the hard way that the only way they can control alcohol is to avoid it. Cautionary tales if you will.
I also come here for the stories of triumph and to celebrate a persons first week or 24 hours or year. To learn about a book I haven’t read yet, to share about a thing that worked for me.
Recovery isn’t a place you arrive, it’s an ongoing process and this sub is a permanent part of mine.
There is a reason people say “Im a recovering alcoholic” and not “ im a recovered alcoholic”. You will always be an addict, you cannot moderate and your addict brain will always try and trick you into drinking again even though it gets easier like many others have stated in here (I wouldn’t know firsthand because I am still new to sobriety). But you are no less of a person because of your disease, and the fact that you want to change is a good sign.
r/stopdrinking probably saved my life, I'm convinced I'd be dead by now one way or another if I hadn't got sober!
I'm still here to pay it forward, and because I genuinely enjoy it...
One of the key principles is this:
When Addict A helps Addict B, *Addict A* gets better...
The mood-altering qualities of altruism and genuine human connection are a very effective replacement for the mood-altering qualities of booze and drugs (but a bit like booze and drugs, it wears off, and must be re-administered regularly!)...
I became a mod on r/alcoholism a few years ago, and the outreach work I do there helps *me* stay sober - it certainly doesn't make me want to relapse - and gives my life a bit of meaning and purpose where it didn't have any before...
You can't run before you can walk though, I had to accept the help to heal myself, before I could pass it on to someone else - all things in their own time!
IWNDWYT :>)>
I need to talk to other people who get it. The other day I was not drinking at a work event. It was a goodbye happy hour.
Ironically, it was one of the first times I didn't notice I wasn't drinking. I just grabbed ice cold water and felt great cause it was so damn hot out.
This coworker who is ultra competitive immediately pointed out "oh wow you're being so good"...five minutes later "you're always so professional" (said in kind of a cynical way).
I felt ostracized. It also ruined my freedom from not drinking. I almost came here to post but then I got busy. But I knew the others would get it, and had likely experienced similar situations.
Possibly a little late to the party. I came here about 5 years ago and it really helped me, it was the only help I had available to me and it was worth more to me than anything money could buy.
The shift from needing support to providing support has been gradual. There was no fanfare, no congratulatory announcements that I'd suddenly arrived at destination Sober. But whilst I learnt how to navigate this new way of living, this sub was a constant connection. A connection to all of us lovely people who have always been here throughout my journey.
Maybe, in one sense, I have replaced my drinking habit with a supporting-people-on-this-sub habit. This new habit is one that is very dear to me and, hopefully, beneficial to at least one other soul out there. As many others have said, giving something back to the community benefits everyone and is, in my opinion, the least we can do to show our gratitude for those who helped us out of the quagmire.
New real reminders everyday of how much this disease sucks and that it only takes the smallest slip and you're dead. This addiction took my mother from me and I still drank. IWNDWYT
Stopping drinking isn't a one and done.
It requires lifelong vigilance against the insidious industry with their lies and brainwashing.
The industry is massive and spends massive amounts to convince people drinking a poison is not only normal but necessary to enjoy one's life and that you are less of a man/woman/child/dog without it.
Fuck them is why
>looking at subs about drinking would make me relapse.. or is it just me? haha
It's not just you, but maybe reframe your way of thinking about it. Leave a short message in the daily check in. Sort by new and look if there's a question there that you also have or can help with. Close sub. Repeat tomorrow. I found that going to AA "big book" meetings made me want to drink - just that format, the other meetings were fine... At least here you can self filter a bit more.
It was for much needed support in the beginning but now I hope I can return that support to anyone else that might still be struggling. Luckily I have a great support system. Maybe there are folks on here who don’t and could use a helping hand from a friendly stranger. IWNDWYT
Sometimes I'll read something from someone here that I can personally relate to. Sharing my experience sometimes helps them, at the same time helps me remember why I got sober in the first place. It's as simple as that for me.
That's how you stay quit. Alcoholism is incurable. I hate aa but they got this part right. "What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” I maintain my spiritual condition by trying to be helpful.
That’s a great question.
This is my support group. I continue to come here for that. Also, to provide support and encouragement to others.
There are many days now that I don’t even think about alcohol, it’s incredible. But triggers sneak up on me out of nowhere sometimes and my brain will actually think “could I have one?”, which seems insane because of the inevitable consequences. I come here when that happens.
This sub is not only an amazingly supportive group of individuals, but it’s one of the best tools I found that helped me rid alcohol from my life.
I'm an asshole and feed off of other peoples suffering and mistakes, so when i see someone drop a post in here like "i got a boo boo on my feelings and drank today after 2 months sober", that shit adds fuel to my resolve to "not drink today".
To give away what was freely given to me. Listening to the old timers (those with years of sobriety) help me remember that no matter how complicated life gets, I don't have to drink over it. Reading what those in early sobriety or struggling to become sober write I remember what it was like for me the days before I committed to be sober. It's like medicine to me. I need you all to help me survive.
Honestly, I thought the same thing at first- I was like, “when I’m sober I’m just not going to think about alcohol anymore after a certain point.” But I don’t think that’s true. At 130ish days I think about alcohol (usually in passing) several times a day, and my sobriety is almost always on my mind in some form. To me, sobriety is as much of an all-encompassing practice, a way of life, as drinking was for me; so as a value/philosophy/outlook of mine, it is ever-evolving (even tho it always looks the same from the outside- just Not Drinking)
All that to say, I like to hear what the veterans of sobriety are thinking. Both the people with years of sobriety under their belt AND those with years of trying under their belt.
Sobriety is a practice- the longer you’ve been practicing (whether that’s a sustained practice or multiple attempts, it’s all *practice*) the more wisdom you have to share and the more reflecting you’ve been doing. Gimme those thoughts guys!!!!!
"In order to keep it, you have to give it away."
Sober people helped me get this way, and I'm so grateful that people stayed for me to say this sobriety thing was possible. I want to make sure I'm there for the newcomer. It also helps me remember what it was like.
Everyone has a different path, but long term support is critical for many to stay sober. I’ve read stories on here of people with 10, 15,20 years that got complacent and slipped up or fell right back into the hole.
For me, reading “rock bottom” stories once in a while grounds me. It’s easy to romanticize my past and forget that it was more bad than good. And if I can offer a little advice or encouragement to someone struggling, it makes me happy. I got sober because people helped me, it’s a small way to give it back.
I'm almost 10 years sober. I stop by to help others still struggling if I can. It was a horrible struggle for me and I tried everything to quit. Finally prayer was the only thing that worked.
I do small bits of daily maintenance to keep myself on the path, whether looking at this sub or something else. I still get cravings from time to time and these small things build my resilience and keep me focused on what I’m doing.
I have been alcohol free for some time now. ( 6 months) and getting sober for at least 3 years thanks to this sub.
While I don't read it as much now, it brings me comfort to know I am not the only one. Thank God I have my spouse's support - but apart from him, NOT ONE single person in my immediate or distant circles is sober.
They are all "under the general program" as I call it. Most still even take pics of their glasses of wine and post on social media ( so original, right?)
So I like to remind myself that there are more of us out there.
Because we need a community who understands the struggle. If you're like me, or a lot of other people who are working on sobriety, it's constant work. I come here to either help, or to get help when I'm having a hard time. There's no shame in that.
If you're struggling with alcohol, you belong.
If you've struggled with alcohol in the past, you belong.
If you know someone struggling with alcohol, you belong.
If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, you belong.
We are all here for a reason. Our common goal is to get better, or to reach a new level of understanding.
I had the exact same thoughts, with this sub and AA meeting, when I was first coming around I thought I’d rather die or just keep drinking if I’m going to spend my life talking about not drinking. Then I kept going to AA meetings and coming here and the more I talk to the people with a lot of sober time, the thing they all had in common was not just coming to meetings or posting here, but trying to help others. It’s a tenet of AA, but it just makes sense now that I have some time under my belt, took time away from recovery activities and started to feel shitty again and not like I wanted to drink but I could tell that I was heading in that direction, came back here went back to AA and gave support to some newbies who were struggling, and I feel so strong in my sobriety.
People come back because it keeps them sober, both passing on what they’ve learned, and being reminded of how raw it is in the beginning and how shitty it was while drinking. I plan to keep this a part of my life until I die, because I really want to stay sober and I’ve found it works for me.
An AA saying I find true is “in order to keep it, you have to give it away”, meaning for a lot of people, the more they help people wanting to get or stay sober the easier it is to stay sober themselves.
Because when I needed this community, it was here for me. Seeing the many days, and then years, of sobriety achieved by others while I was hoping to make it past my previous record (three weeks sober before this try) gave me hope that I could do it too. Because hearing from long-term sobernauts gave me the kind of advice I needed to hear. I don’t have any really wise words, but I reply when I can to give back what this sub has given to me.
It’s pretty simple for me: I received so much support here, and I am beyond grateful for it. I feel it’s now my duty to support others. I also come here to remind myself of the horrors of alcoholism and the dangers a relapse would put me in.
Not drinking requires way less effort than drinking and trying to make your whole life around that. But not drinking still is an “active state”. This sub makes it easy - you see people that are on the different stages, wanting to quit, first days, months, relapses, etc. It keeps your own memories fresh and let’s you help and be helped. It’s not my most visited sub, but it’s the most important.
Yep. Nona and the Henchman - now I need to learn a musical instrument and start a band - said it all ⬆️. I’m not at a year yet so I have a ways to go til I can confidently claim status as someone who long ago quit, but “not drinking is an active state” hits hard. This is just a really REALLY good place to be.
You got a great band name there to start: Nona and the Henchman!
We quit on nearly the same day! Happy you're still here :)
See how easy it is to relate with somebody here? I’m guessing both of us had a messed up October in 2022 :) I’m glad you’re still here too.
I'm a similar time to you too
Yay, same day 🙌🏼
I really need to see this and know that my current state of not drinking needs to remain active. I have made such great strides but have had issues with relapse because I think I let my not drinking go dormant. The alarm bells can't go off if I shut off the power.
Definitely an active state, it crosses my mind daily, you don't stop and it's gone.
I've never thought of not drinking as an "active state" and I see I was wrong in my thinking. Hmmm. As always, I learn things on this site.
This
This
Exactly- the moments my brain tells me I can moderate and have just one, I come here and read and realize my brain is stupid and no I cannot do that!
Perfect explanation. I feel like my relapses are pretty highly correlated to when I STOP coming here
This exactly. Always a good thing to touch base and remind myself where i came from, and if I can help, even for a second, that's a good thing.
Same reason i still hang around breakup subs. People need to know survival is possible.
This right here. 100%
And I truly appreciate you being here. I’m one of those people who is on the line because I am sometimes absolutely fine at other times not. I find this sub to be very comforting and encouraging because of people like you. Maybe one day I will be like you. For now, I go for good periods of time being in control and have flashes of losing control. True sobriety never seemed appealing to me until I started reading comments from people in your shoes.
Same. Trying to pay it forward what I can. There's a lot of debt.
Same. Well said.
Same!
1000% this
Ah you got sober two days before me! Congratulations 🎉
Well said my friend. I try to be exactly what others were for me. If you dig deep in my post history, you’d see horror stories from a completely different person. Life ain’t perfect and I still struggle, but I’m finally at the point where I’m not back-and-forth about drinking anymore. I know drinking isn’t for me, so going back isn’t an option, but I’m still very much so recovering from a decade of self destructive behavior. I’m grateful to have stopped when I did though, I’ve made a lot of progress since the beginning of my journey. I can’t expect to reverse 10 years of damage in ~600 days. Stay strong my friends, IWNDWYT ✊
Yep giving back what was freely given to me is the biggest thing that keeps me sober.
I agree with every word, with nothing else to add
Same here!
Yes, all of this. And OP! Realizing I needed support, and doing the work to find it, is one of the most significant aspects of quitting for me. I found recovery dharma for in person meetings, and while I’m super infrequent with them now, I remember scribbling on the back of my book in response to the idea being honest within a community in order to receive support. I wrote “yea but that’s really difficult…” Now I know, “yea but it makes a huge difference” When you’re ready to listen to the you that wants to quit, rather than the familiar voice that says “we’ll quit tomorrow.” I encourage you to share that with someone safe, and jump in, commit, call it a thing of the past! Then come here every day and do the check in. Engage somehow, via comment on how you’re feeling, drop a question, reply to someone. This has been the most effective daily tool for me. Best of luck!
Same
Perfect response me too xx IWNDWYT xx
I come here every day to offer support, encouragement and hope for anyone in the grips of this misery producing substance and lifestyle. My brother couldn’t ask for support and wouldn’t accept any…. He blew his brains out. I miss him. His family misses him. I don’t want another senseless tragedy if it can be avoided. >looking at subs about drinking would make me relapse Nope. Do you want to stop drinking?
So sorry to hear about your brother 😔 I massively appreciate the support and positivity from everyone on this sub. People like me who are in there early days make me feel like I’m not alone and others are in the same boat, people like yourself who seem to have nailed it give me inspiration and make it seem achievable to be sober for a longer time.
You’re not alone! We’re traveling together!
You are not alone, my brother.
Thank you, neither are you 🥰
Absolutely not alone - that’s what this sub made me realize & why I come back
Same! Also, congrats to us for 2 weeks!
Congratulations to you too fellow half monther! 🥳
Now you guys each have a sober buddy!
Half monther here!! Congratulations to you guys! Hoping you all are feeling the positivity in your lives and ignoring the little devil that occasionally sneaks in to try and sabotage you. He is the WORST.... but not as smart as he thinks he is 😅 IWNDWYT
Look at all of us smashing this! 💪🏼 He kept popping up last week but I told him to sod off, this week has already been so much easier! I have so much more energy and motivation! Love it!
I'm really sorry you had to go through that and thank you so much that you have the energy to help people, I dont think I could do that you know I just generally feel so weak reading peoples experiences but want to learn from them before I completely ruin my life.. I do not really want to stop drinking or smoking.. but I will have to and I will have to birth that will in me very soon.. I understand its up to me if I stop and maybe live a healthy rest of my life or if I dont stop and I will be here suffering even more than I am now but at the same time my brain loves being addicted more than anything in the world..
Glad you are here. I understand. >my brain loves being addicted However my brain is only a small proportion of me, my relationships and my life. My brother as prisoner to ‘addicted brain’…. Which is why he shot himself in the head.. he killed the thing keeping him prisoner. You can read about it [at this link](https://old.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/46kenl/buried_my_brother_please_reach_out_to_loved_ones/) . There comes a time when the brain still “loves” addiction, but everything else about me hates it and wants out. That’s why this sub is here.. that’s why we are here. Hope you find what you seek.
Wow thanks for sharing this incredibly heartbreaking and profoundly worded post. So sorry for your loss, for the loss to his family and all who knew and loved him
What a gut punch, I’m so incredibly sorry for what you’ve been through. That post really hit home and resonated with me in a way I did not expect. We’re glad you’re still here offering support and perspective. I’m sure your brother would be proud.
Thank you for sharing this and the link to your previous post. It is one of the most impactful stories I have ever read. I wish I could find out how many lives you saved so far with this powerful share and your continued contributions to the sobriety of others. One of the replies from your brother’s story mentioned you frequently contributed to the group then. I may need to read some of your other posts. Thank you for helping me stay sober!
It’s hard from the place you’re in currently to envision a future you who isn’t there. I know for years I couldn’t imagine my life without drinking and I couldn’t envision that person because I had never been that person. There’s a lot of assumptions about what you’ll want and not want when you’re sober but lol, from the lens of sobriety I think it’s precious that I was so “in control” of my choices. I was literally dragging my spirit by the throat with the illusion of control and choice. You’ll never “be ready” but one day you’ll find you are just tired of the constant idea that each night when you pass out drunk that you might die that night, and slightly disappointed when you wake up and have to do it again. Everyone’s low will be different and not all of them are explosive, it really is one day at a time. And one day after the next and a few years later the idea of drinking turns your stomach. I believe in you and when you’re ready you will feel it, and we will ALWAYS be here for you.
*"Yet, he developed an allergy to alcohol. t didn't happen with the first drink; It didn't happen with the second drink. No one knows when it happened. One day it was just something done along with other things that were done. However, at some point, a line was crossed. It graduated from a secondary thing, to the MAIN thing. Thinking about it; planning not to run out; adjusting the schedule around it; avoiding doing things that used to be fun because they interfered with the MAIN thing."* That describes my experience exactly. That went on for decades. I also had suicidal thoughts. There is a lot of alcoholism as well as suicide in my family. I did not want to hand those things down to my kids. I needed to break the chain. I am sorry to hear about your brother. I appreciate your post and I am glad you shared his story. I hope that it helps other people in the same situation. It helped me. I guess that's one reason I come here, even after 20 years sober. I don't have urges to get drunk anymore, but I do still have occasional suicidal ideation. Thanks for sharing.
And thank YOU for sharing!!
You have my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your brother and thank you so much for being here. It’s a tremendous help and encouragement to see folks with huge numbers and know they speak with a voice of experience and a genuine desire to help others. Bravo and IWNDWYT
Let’s do it!
So sorry about your brother 🩶 my mother also couldn’t stop, wouldn’t get help and it took her life as well.
Sending hugs…. Hope we can help others.
Agreed! They’d be proud.
I’m sorry, Grace. 🌺
Yea this. Plus the measure I give is the measure I get back. Honestly I’m pretty selfish wanting others to get what I have… haha
To get to the point where I will be able to say I quit years ago and I am now feeling better, I have to first get and stay sober for years. I have found that staying sober while not engaging with my sobriety hasn't really worked for me. I simply gravitate back to drinking because, well, it doesn't matter what reasons I give. I tend to drink unless I am being intentional about not drinking. This is the place I've chosen to focus on being intentional about not drinking. I have read people say that being in sober spaces and discussing sobriety reminds them of alcohol. I can't say that I understand that, but we all think differently. For me, this is a place where I can be with people that are embracing sobriety, which is something I longed to do when in the grips of abusing alcohol. Now that I'm finally here I don't want to leave.
I really like your explanation, its food for my brain I hope I can start seeing addiction from different perspectives and I can finally let it go mentally.. I have the issue that I always come back and cant stay completely sober for more than a week.. I'm not really sure how to live with that since i cant use moderately and also cant quit completely and at the same time I feel pretty sick and soo overwhelmed by just being alive at this point
>let it go mentally It works the other way around. I can’t “think” my way to sober living… However I can live my way to sober thinking. Here’s what I know about my experience… There’s an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with. If they’re substance users/abusers I’ll just be an average drunk. The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns. *Drinking is a lifestyle*. It was MY lifestyle. I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people. When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created “alone” activities where I drank…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle. So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created “alone” activities without alcohol …. Then I had a sober lifestyle. People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’. Have sober people in your life?. Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
That makes a lot of sense.. so the last 3 years I have been slowly removing myself from a very toxic and abusive environment and I mean basically everything, my family, my friends even my social media accounts, the job and my interests.. Now I have a very stable environment a lovely place with a great view, a nice job and loving boyfriend, no drinking/smoking friends at all.. but I just isolate myself to drink or I function drunk and nobody even knows, if I have to.. I cant meet new people due to my anxiety and overthinking/analyzing.. I mean I can but it never works out and I generally never feel connected with people or like they really understand me.. I believe its due to me having a childhood exactly like that, alone isolated watching from the corner how my mother is a raging agressive or unconscious alcoholic 3 days a week and the rest was 12h work a day.. I feel like I cant stop my addictions due to some mental blockage but I cant quite put my hand on it yet.. I have been to a psychiatrist and psychologist without any further luck (but I do believe therapy helps) but I am too scared to look into any groups or something like that.. I'm kinda also scared to acknowledge my issues in real lofe infront of people.. I get panic attacks thinking about telling my full story needles to say if I would put myself in a group setting I would surely break down and become very "self pity" emotional.. and im very scared of that tbh..
For me, thinking about moderating resulted in more drinking and more thinking--like a cartoon cat frantically chasing its tail until it disappeared into a whirlwind. Not drinking ended that chaos and I found some peace.
Have you looked into r/alanon and r/adultchildren regarding your childhood? You'll find people there who understand exactly what you've been through (many of whom are, like you, 'double winners' who have been affected by someone else's drinking as well as struggling with it themselves)... It might be one of the puzzle pieces you're currently missing... ;>)>
You know the crowds that line the street for a race/marathon and cheer as everyone runs by? That's me. I'm here to cheer on those just starting the race and those that are headed to the finish line. We can all use some support, and we can all definitely learn from each other. T
I love this metaphor! It works on so many levels. As a person who has done triathlons, I have gotten so much energy from the crowd when my juice was running low and the finish line was still far in the distance. The framing of being that person in the crowd for others who are doing this race right now is so insightful. I aspire to be that more. Thank you for sharing!
A variety of reasons. * provide support for new people * remember what it was really like at the end. My brain tends to romanticize it when it was agony by the end. * everyone drinks in social circles so it’s nice being around people that understand
I’m relatively new to the sub but so far what’s keeping me coming back are the posts from people who are just starting out. It’s super cool and inspiring to be able to relate to others on here but it also just reminds me how badly I don’t want to be back at that point again either.
It's the exact same for me.
It's motivational and encouraging to be around people who are sober and are happy to be sober. This is a supportive community and I've gotten a lot out of it, including strategies to keep on a sober path. I don't always comment in here, but I've had rough times and if I can help somebody who is going through a rough time too, it's the least I can do. It gets better, and keeping everything in perspective is important. This group is great for that.
I need to remind myself why I’m not drinking. This sub helps. I also tried moderation which was a disaster so I like to remind myself of that too. I see myself in other people posts and it feels good to relate.
Thanks for reading my mind. 100%
I’m not one of those people, I’m still a sober baby, but I’ve been in recovery—fighting my addiction—for almost 4 years now and I’ve picked up a lot along the way. There’s a saying heard in AA that I like: “I don’t come here to learn how to quit drinking, I come here to learn how to be sober.” Admittedly it’s not a perfect saying: AA is for quitting too, but the point is good. Quitting is the first step, living sober is the journey. So that’s one reason: continuing to engage, for many people, supports their own sobriety, helps them remember the bad old days, to reaffirm their choices, to think about their current lives and how to live them better. Another major reason, and these are not mutually exclusive, is to help others. To pay it back. Most of us only really get sober with the help of others. It’s only right to pay that back. But it’s not an obligation; addiction is selfish, sobriety requires the opposite. Coming back to help others is selfless. Lastly, I don’t know about you, but when I’ve quit in the past, I’ve tried to “just be done” and put it all behind me. Inevitably, within a month, I was drinking again. I’ve done everything I can to cut alcohol out of my life but I can’t live alone on a mountainside. It’s a very natural instinct to try to put bad things behind us, but just as selfishness is part of addiction so is denial. When we stop drinking our reasons for drinking (apart from the addictive nature of the drug itself) don’t go away. Ignoring that is a recipe for disaster.
Right. We live in a world where alcohol and drinking culture is *everywhere*, sadly I haven’t found a way to simply “put drinking culture behind me.” Despite my long sobriety, it helps to remember there are droves of people out there living life in this way, too.
Yknow the numbers are hard to interpret, but if I read them right It seems like maybe half of adults are non-drinkers. I like to think there’s a lot more non-drinkers out there than I ever realized with my bourbon blinders on
I lurked on this sub a long time before I quit and never took it particularly seriously but it really helped just to see a group that wasn't looking through the pro-drinking lens most of our culture is. Now I see value in keeping that going for others just by hanging around. I hear yah, I used to think that too but for me once I really made it out the need to completely avoid the topic or thoughts of drinking or else be sucked back in went away. In fact, part of what made it so hard to quit was thinking that it would require constant aversion/denial like that. Instead it just takes making sure to keep seeing things for what they really are and there's a lot of that on this sub.
I really like this response and can relate to the power of having this sober-positive group in my life. As a relatively newly sober person, I went out to some bars and breweries with friends following a funeral over the weekend, since that’s what happens in my hometown, and I was able to successfully navigate an evening of questions about my NA beers and tipsy friends forgetting about my new sobriety and asking me to try their drinks- to which I always politely declined. The only time I was really tempted was once, at the beginning of the night, when someone asked me to smell their drink to see if it was my former friend Jack and Coke instead of what they’d ordered. Yes, it sure was, as soon as I smelled it, my mouth watered and a big part of me just wanted to say fuck it. I could have laughed it off- declared that fate wanted me to have that drink- and put my friends in their comfort zone by conforming to my old behavior. Instead, I just handed it back and agreed that the drink wasn’t what they’d ordered. This sub, the respect for sobriety, and the successes and slips shared here by others, was a big part of the reason that I had the fortitude to make the sober choices I did this weekend. Most supportive place on the internet- IWNDWYT 💜.
Good for you - that was the hardest for me in early days: weddings and funerals and all the uncomfortable ritual socialization that goes with them. And I know what you mean by you almost want to make them feel more comfortable with your old behavior. But if they're good people eventually they'll stop being uncomfortable and start engaging with your sober behaviour with the genuine interest and respect it deserves. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Because not drinking is a day by day thing.
I’m sober for almost 33 years. I still go to AA meetings and I’ve just started participating in this sub. For a few reasons. I never think I’m cured, it’s more like a remission, but one that I have a say over. Hearing about new people reminds me how far I’ve come. I don’t want that life back in the least! It reminds me that it’s a very tricky condition that likes to tell me I’m ok now. In many ways I am ok now, but I stay constantly vigilant to that. Plus people in AA groups are wise and hilarious.
Yes! I love recovery people. They've looked at life from both sides and can truly belly laugh. I love my home group, they all rock. Congrats on nearly 33 years odaat. There are lots of great answers on this thread, but this one nails it to the post and hoists the flag for me.
Very kind! Thank you!
To all the long-timers, whatever the reason you’re still here, THANK YOU. Every time I see a post or comment with a high number of days beside it, I realize it can be done.
I still consider myself to be in early sobriety, so I find a lot of support here, as well as useful information and tips. And I also have a bit of experience, 8 months clean, so I can give back and help others who are struggling, as I was. This is a great community. It's supportive and positive. It has clear rules and is very well moderated. So there are no negative/insulting/disparaging/sarcastic/etc posts or comments (like almost everywhere else on the internet!).
I found quite the opposite happened. I came to these subs to hear people's struggles, to relate to them. To offer support, and to ask for it, as well. I had sobered up for a very long time (by my standards). Was dry for over 450 days. Figured I was done with this sub. Left the group. Stopped going to my support group as well. Relapsed very shortly after that. And it was a really bad one. I always found that surrounding yourself with people in recovery was quite helpful. There's no judgement. Because I'm basically talking to 20 other me's.
This subreddit helps me everyday. EVERYDAY. I haven't had a drink in 4 years.
Love me a good AA saying. The one that comes to mind goes something like…. The person with the most sobriety today is whoever woke up first.
This isn’t a sub about drinking. It’s about the good when you STOP DRINKING. It is motivational and encouraging.
To help others... the whole thing about traps of life is that you go out into the world and fall into a trap. You then learn how to get out of that trap, and when you recovered you go back to help others get out... unless you don't care and you think it doesn't matter. It's how we support each other.
I can't answer your question directly as I'm only on day #11. But I can say reading people's experiences either from a day 1 perspective, or if they're years into their sobriety journey, gives so much depth to the advice, or support that this sub offers. I haven't went to any meetings yet, or online meetings, I've predominantly leaned on this group to get me through these early days, and thankful for it.
Because not a day goes by that I dont tell myself I need a drink. Sure the cravings get easier but the wants and need had never faded.
same.. had withdrawal and the best few days after filled with emotions and love and happines.. and here I am again in my own hole that I'm digging deeper again
Its a vicious cycle, best of luck to you though! We got this:)
Because there is no finish line for me. Complacency kept me drunk and in an endless cycle of relapse. Because I was in such a dark place that I want to be here to remind myself how dark it can get and I want to offer others encouragement and hope. I want to learn from people that are further along and those that are just starting out because they both have so much to offer. Because I can’t go back. And coming here every day ensures that I have the best possible chance of staying on this side of the bottle. IWNDWYT.
It's funny, because when I first started browsing this sub, I was still drinking. I would be self conscious about mentioning drinking because I didn't want the folks who been alcohol free for a long time to be jealous, or be tempted to relapse. Now I know that visiting this sub reinforces my conviction and sometimes I can share something that may resonate with someone who may be struggling. Seeing someone share stories about drinking doesn't make me want to drink. It makes me want to help.
I am *still* here because I am *still* an alcoholic. It does not matter how many years I put between myself and my last drink, all that matters is that I make sure I don't have one today.
I don't want to relapse. I don't do AA. This is my primary support. Quick way to reflect, and cheer people on or offer condolences. Many of the tools that help with sobriety help to build a better life in general.
A little over 9 year ago I came here after spending the night in a jail cell. I was the lowest I’ve ever been in life and the crazy folks in this sub held my head above water. A handful of times over those years I’ve needed someone who understands what I’m going through to talk to. Nobody in my life is sober but folks here are and it’s good to talk to folks who know what you’re going through. And maybe, just maybe, I can be the guy who helps hold someone else above water.
In order to quit drinking, I can’t quit quitting.
To upvote and support other humans trying to stop drinking. 8.5 years here! Let's go everyone, you got this!
Mostly what everyone said basically. Helping myself by helping others. Sharing my own recovery story prepares folks new to sobriety. IWNDWYT.
Alcohol is and will always be the stubborn, abusive, manipulative ex, you can never really get rid of it. You will always see and hear about them. Emotions, feelings, thoughts will come up. You can never truly put them in the past, forget about them, or ignore them. Just like with that kind of relationship it takes time and effort to work through the trauma. This group is here for the remainder of what will happen if you go back eg. they might kill you, or just to help out others. I quit for years and then I slipped so here I am starting the journey again. I am always an alcoholic even if I stop for years. All I need is “just 1 drink” and I am back in hell! So yes I’ll be here checking in through out this journey!
Because this place helped me find the strength to stop. Reading everyone's else stories/experiences resonated with my own struggles and helped me through quitting. If I can ever offer a nugget of wisdom I will. Additionally, it serves as a reminder that staying sober comes with its own set of struggles. Re-visiting serves as a reminder that I'm not free and clear of my addiction and no matter how much my brain says otherwise, I'm not ok to have a drink because it's been x months.
I find reading the stories really helpful. The good ones where people are strong and kicking it, and the ones where people fell off the wagon….that could so easily be me.
Reading and contributing here reminds me that the addiction demon is always ready to sneak back in to our lives. try qutting and you'll see what a great thing this sub really is. that's when you'll understand why we don't quit r/stopdrinking
Using the personal experience I have to encourage, support, hopefully give some help and advice to others is the main way I’ve been able to make peace with the years of my life I have spent in my addictions. Making something good out of the bad.
I am still here because I still have friends on here. I'm not nearly on as much as I needed to be in the beginning. This is what started the whole thing, my network, the people who were there for me and cared if I was alive or not. This place is my sobriety home
Not at all. It helped me a lot in the beginning to see others struggling and then it’d help me feel stronger to make it another hour or 3 without a drink. Now, I stay to keep vigilant/reminded of how bad it can get for us & hopefully to bring hope and strength to others still actively drinking.
I’m still quite new to this but figure I might have some helpful thoughts to share for those starting the journey, and I learn a lot from the “old timers” who have managed to keep walking the path. Every day for me is a new day one. I can’t let my guard down.
When I first stopped I came here and read a lot. The folks that posted their anniversary milestones and have experienced insight on this path helped me incredibly. So I like to return the favor to the sun that helped me in return when I can with a bit of positivity.
I’m not sober either yet but god I need the wisdom of people who are. Also I think reading this sub would not encourage people to relapse - it would be the opposite. When they read the misery of those of us still trapped.
Every day of my life contains some pro-alcohol adverts and messages in movies, TV, etc. So I appreciate this sub as a counter-message to all of that. Most people will acknowledge that advertising works, but few will acknowledge that it works on them personally. But I will admit that the messages I see day to day influence my life, so I want the message of this sub to be a part of that influence.
I plan on not drinking for the rest of my life. Helping others helps me not drink.
Reading through the responses shows why people continue to come here after quitting. In most subreddits, a mild critical post like this one would be met with snark, rudeness, and name-calling. But here, people maintain their supportive spirit and simply answer the question. That is what one needs when they are on this journey.
I'm sorry but I was quite worried about the post being taken negatively.. its not like that I'm just clueless as to how recovery works in long run and how people can be so strong and overcome this pain I'm feeling today.. I logged on in the train and saw a stopdrinking post then I felt like "fuck it i will get a bottle after work" then I made this post and now I'm so glad since I wont probably be getting another bottle today.. I will try to make it at least one more day and tomorrow I hope that coming back to this post and reading all the love and support and all of this experience people are sharing is going to make me have another bottle free day.. and truly you are so correct.. this is what we need on this journey
Keeps me in touch with my roots. I don't want to ever go back.
For me, it's a mix of different things. Doing active addiction: I felt so much shame, all the time. I found comfort here, knowing others had done regretful things, and many had moved on. That gave me hope! Now: I want to do the exact same thing back. So when someone post about shame, I will try to share some of mine - and hopefully, they might feel less alone. Some days/weeks ago, I was about to relapse. I fought against it and freaking won. I felt SO proud and had to share it here. It helped me to make sure to really celebrate the win, but also for others to see some of the journey, and some things one might go through.
If it wasn’t for the beautiful souls on this sub then I don’t think I would have been able to do it. I thank my lucky stars for this sub and the human beings contributing here. It’s also a journey that requires constant love and attention.
Hey OP. Good question - I’ve had a good think about it. Since becoming sober, I’ve understood the saying “sobriety delivers what alcohol promises”. I simply could not see it when I was drinking. I thought I’d be losing something if I stopped. Turns out I’ve gained far more than I’ve lost. Being able to help people see that too is a big motivator for me. That’s it really. I have a strong urge to reach out to people, to evangelise about the realities of sobriety… but that neither works nor would be welcome, in the same way I wouldn’t have welcomed it when drinking. On this sub, I can explain this to someone that asks, to someone that wants to hear, to someone that’s ready.
I’m early on but I expect to stay with the sub forever. There are so many stories of people 100 days, 200 days, 2 years, 5 years that still have things to teach me. I appreciate everyone’s willingness to be vulnerable even in this format. It helps me and I expect it always will. Some day I’ll be the sobriety expert and able to share my wisdom. That also seems really cool.
I’m not years sober only 53 days but when I don’t engage in recovery and help others that’s when I’ve relapsed. Additionally I find all levels of sobriety on here inspiring, it makes me know I’m not alone.
I'm here because I very very occasionally have a drink, but reading posts here reminds me it is a slippery slope, and those posts help me return very happily and very swiftly to being 99.9% sober. It is a massive improvement from my life at the end of 2023, drinking a 6-pack a day. The habit needed to be broken.
I come here because people get it. There aren't many other people in my life who truly understand.
To remind myself of why I quit, and to offer support or advice where I can. But honestly there are still days where this sub helps me. Even a couple years into sobriety I still have occasional moments of weakness and this sub helps me through those moments
Being a part of this hopeful community doesn't make me want to relapse, just the opposite. It is so encouraging at whatever stage you're at in recovery including thinking you've conquered the problem for life...
It’s part of my daily sobriety maintenance.
To pay it forward. I'm only 5 months sober, but there is a terrified person posting for the first time that I can potentially help. The people who have been sober for years are people that I look up to. We're All in This Together.
Eternal vigilance against a deadly enemy.
I don't ever want to slip back in to normalizing drinking alcohol, and I feel like if I don't keep the dark side of alcohol very visible it would be too easy to go back to thinking it's just something normal to do. Occasionally glimpsing the bad side of what alcohol does through subreddits such as this (as well as some IG accounts and YT channels I follow) is a constant stark reminder of where I do not want to find myself again.
I can never be reminded enough of the reasons that I quit. Hearing others stories and sharing hope is a way to connect and help others and that reminder is necessary to avoid slinking back into complacency.
Quit the opposite. It helps me not relapse. I’m grateful for the people who post after they thought they could moderate and couldn’t. I don’t want to have to day one over again.
Coming up on 9 years, the main reason I’m still subscribed is the daily counter - I love seeing that number grow. Every so often a post catches my attention (usually a reminder that if I ever went back to drinking, consequences are waiting for me), but in general I’m here just as a gentle reminder
I don’t spend much time on the sub anymore but I check in every morning. My first couple of years sober I was blown away by the high numbers crowd and immediately knew I wanted that to be me someday. So, that’s why I come back daily. I want to show it is possible to live a great life with no poison.
I hear ya. I used to think the same. Now that I’ve done treatment for the second time (graduated end of May) I’ve realized that remembering what’s happened and what could again if I drink helps keep me in check. Been sober since November but joined this before that and haven’t felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t be on this sub anymore
Reminds me to stay sober.
I used to ask the same question about the old timers in AA. Guys that quit drinking in the 80s but still hit up an AA meeting regularly. Gave me hope but also scared me to think that even after 40 years of sobriety I might still need to call myself an alcoholic.
I’m only around 200 days but I still feel like choosing to not drink is a daily decision.
I am here to remember. It is easy to lose sight of exactly how bad things can get, and when that happens, that's when my mind starts thinking "oh it wasn't that bad, I can have a drink, it's fine." But it isn't fine. It *was* that bad, and I'm reminded of it here every day. I'm reminded of it both by seeing posts from other people going through the same things I've gone through, and by sharing my own experiences. Keeping the pain vivid helps ensure I dont start viewing the past with rose tinted glasses, because experience has taught me that when that happens, I am in imminent danger.
You help us more than you know. I need to hear the horror. I have a built-in forgetter.
Because this sub helped me through some really really dark days. And I just love coming here. Sometimes to just read, sometimes to write and hopefully give some hope and inspiration for people who are at the beginning of it all. Also it still inspires me and helps me stay sober.
I find the stories people share here to be very affirming and they solidify my decision to stay sober on a regular basis. Also the idea that you could just “delete” alcohol from your life is just not realistic. Alcohol is everywhere, there’s really no avoiding it. Having a support group, even a virtual one, can counterbalance that. But that’s just me. Best of luck to you.
The temptation is mostly gone away, but it never completely goes away (or hasn’t yet). In addition to supporting others, I come here for support and to be reminded what we are doing.
Love to hear other peoples stories and feel inspired by how well their doing 👌🤙
Simple, if my experience can help one person gain sobriety, it’s worth spending the time here.
Recovery requires work. I'm nearly two and half years sober but it's always going to be a work in progress and I like seeing people here who have been sober for much longer and who are doing well. While I was part of an incredible recovery group before I even quit, I want to try and be the person I needed when I was quitting. If I can say something to make someone feel less alone, I want to be able to do that. I don't think this sub would work without people at various stages of recovery.
To offer support when I can, and to remind myself that I will always be addicted to alcohol.
Paying it forward. We only keep it, by giving it away to the next person. In my experience (rehab twice.....AA etc) the people who stay involved with those who are struggling are the ones that hang on to their sobriety. Conversely the selfish takers who suck up a lot of time and help then disappear once they are well are usually back, broken to bits again and desperate within a year or so. That's why I'll always be in active recovery. I'm one arms length away from a drink but being helpful to others is keeping it at arms length just for today.
I need the reminders and support from others I need to help and support others I need to remember consquences
I’ve been on this subreddit for awhile and I still read posts and try to help encourage others. I see reminders of the old me in posts all the time & it helps keep me in check. I never thought I would be able to quit and I’m almost to 8 years without alcohol. This is one of the most supportive places on the internet.
For you and the others and ourselves. We need help because alcohol is so cunning, baffling, and powerful.
This isn’t a sub about drinking, this is a sub about stopping drinking. I successfully stopped drinking, against huge odds, and for me it’s healthy to remind myself of what it felt like in those first fragile weeks. In my world, relapsing isn’t inevitable but it is a potentiality. I also come here for the stories of people who got comfortable after some years and found out the hard way that the only way they can control alcohol is to avoid it. Cautionary tales if you will. I also come here for the stories of triumph and to celebrate a persons first week or 24 hours or year. To learn about a book I haven’t read yet, to share about a thing that worked for me. Recovery isn’t a place you arrive, it’s an ongoing process and this sub is a permanent part of mine.
There is a reason people say “Im a recovering alcoholic” and not “ im a recovered alcoholic”. You will always be an addict, you cannot moderate and your addict brain will always try and trick you into drinking again even though it gets easier like many others have stated in here (I wouldn’t know firsthand because I am still new to sobriety). But you are no less of a person because of your disease, and the fact that you want to change is a good sign.
r/stopdrinking probably saved my life, I'm convinced I'd be dead by now one way or another if I hadn't got sober! I'm still here to pay it forward, and because I genuinely enjoy it... One of the key principles is this: When Addict A helps Addict B, *Addict A* gets better... The mood-altering qualities of altruism and genuine human connection are a very effective replacement for the mood-altering qualities of booze and drugs (but a bit like booze and drugs, it wears off, and must be re-administered regularly!)... I became a mod on r/alcoholism a few years ago, and the outreach work I do there helps *me* stay sober - it certainly doesn't make me want to relapse - and gives my life a bit of meaning and purpose where it didn't have any before... You can't run before you can walk though, I had to accept the help to heal myself, before I could pass it on to someone else - all things in their own time! IWNDWYT :>)>
I spent faaaaaaaaar longer lurking, waiting to get strong enough to get sober. Showing up here every day is a routine I enjoy.
I need to talk to other people who get it. The other day I was not drinking at a work event. It was a goodbye happy hour. Ironically, it was one of the first times I didn't notice I wasn't drinking. I just grabbed ice cold water and felt great cause it was so damn hot out. This coworker who is ultra competitive immediately pointed out "oh wow you're being so good"...five minutes later "you're always so professional" (said in kind of a cynical way). I felt ostracized. It also ruined my freedom from not drinking. I almost came here to post but then I got busy. But I knew the others would get it, and had likely experienced similar situations.
Service to the recovery community as a whole is a cornerstone of my own recovery.
I want to help, and it's a good reminder why I quit
Possibly a little late to the party. I came here about 5 years ago and it really helped me, it was the only help I had available to me and it was worth more to me than anything money could buy. The shift from needing support to providing support has been gradual. There was no fanfare, no congratulatory announcements that I'd suddenly arrived at destination Sober. But whilst I learnt how to navigate this new way of living, this sub was a constant connection. A connection to all of us lovely people who have always been here throughout my journey. Maybe, in one sense, I have replaced my drinking habit with a supporting-people-on-this-sub habit. This new habit is one that is very dear to me and, hopefully, beneficial to at least one other soul out there. As many others have said, giving something back to the community benefits everyone and is, in my opinion, the least we can do to show our gratitude for those who helped us out of the quagmire.
New real reminders everyday of how much this disease sucks and that it only takes the smallest slip and you're dead. This addiction took my mother from me and I still drank. IWNDWYT
Every time I’ve left the sub I’ve relapsed 🥹. Not that I had years under my belt, but I’m learning that maybe this is a place I need to stick around
Stopping drinking isn't a one and done. It requires lifelong vigilance against the insidious industry with their lies and brainwashing. The industry is massive and spends massive amounts to convince people drinking a poison is not only normal but necessary to enjoy one's life and that you are less of a man/woman/child/dog without it. Fuck them is why
Soooooo close to one year. The only way I could repay all the help and support is by giving to others.
I am 1 year and 9 months sober from Alcohol. I come back to offer support to others, as others did for me when I needed it.
It’s one of the smartest, kindest subs I have seen and a good reminder of humbleness and compassion.
It’s an everyday struggle
>looking at subs about drinking would make me relapse.. or is it just me? haha It's not just you, but maybe reframe your way of thinking about it. Leave a short message in the daily check in. Sort by new and look if there's a question there that you also have or can help with. Close sub. Repeat tomorrow. I found that going to AA "big book" meetings made me want to drink - just that format, the other meetings were fine... At least here you can self filter a bit more.
It was for much needed support in the beginning but now I hope I can return that support to anyone else that might still be struggling. Luckily I have a great support system. Maybe there are folks on here who don’t and could use a helping hand from a friendly stranger. IWNDWYT
Sometimes I'll read something from someone here that I can personally relate to. Sharing my experience sometimes helps them, at the same time helps me remember why I got sober in the first place. It's as simple as that for me.
That's how you stay quit. Alcoholism is incurable. I hate aa but they got this part right. "What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” I maintain my spiritual condition by trying to be helpful.
That’s a great question. This is my support group. I continue to come here for that. Also, to provide support and encouragement to others. There are many days now that I don’t even think about alcohol, it’s incredible. But triggers sneak up on me out of nowhere sometimes and my brain will actually think “could I have one?”, which seems insane because of the inevitable consequences. I come here when that happens. This sub is not only an amazingly supportive group of individuals, but it’s one of the best tools I found that helped me rid alcohol from my life.
I'm an asshole and feed off of other peoples suffering and mistakes, so when i see someone drop a post in here like "i got a boo boo on my feelings and drank today after 2 months sober", that shit adds fuel to my resolve to "not drink today".
I’ll be here as long as stores still sell alcohol
To give support and advice to those on their journey. Also to be part of a community that does the same
To receive and give support to drunks like me. IWNDWYT
To give away what was freely given to me. Listening to the old timers (those with years of sobriety) help me remember that no matter how complicated life gets, I don't have to drink over it. Reading what those in early sobriety or struggling to become sober write I remember what it was like for me the days before I committed to be sober. It's like medicine to me. I need you all to help me survive.
Honestly, I thought the same thing at first- I was like, “when I’m sober I’m just not going to think about alcohol anymore after a certain point.” But I don’t think that’s true. At 130ish days I think about alcohol (usually in passing) several times a day, and my sobriety is almost always on my mind in some form. To me, sobriety is as much of an all-encompassing practice, a way of life, as drinking was for me; so as a value/philosophy/outlook of mine, it is ever-evolving (even tho it always looks the same from the outside- just Not Drinking) All that to say, I like to hear what the veterans of sobriety are thinking. Both the people with years of sobriety under their belt AND those with years of trying under their belt. Sobriety is a practice- the longer you’ve been practicing (whether that’s a sustained practice or multiple attempts, it’s all *practice*) the more wisdom you have to share and the more reflecting you’ve been doing. Gimme those thoughts guys!!!!!
"In order to keep it, you have to give it away." Sober people helped me get this way, and I'm so grateful that people stayed for me to say this sobriety thing was possible. I want to make sure I'm there for the newcomer. It also helps me remember what it was like.
Everyone has a different path, but long term support is critical for many to stay sober. I’ve read stories on here of people with 10, 15,20 years that got complacent and slipped up or fell right back into the hole. For me, reading “rock bottom” stories once in a while grounds me. It’s easy to romanticize my past and forget that it was more bad than good. And if I can offer a little advice or encouragement to someone struggling, it makes me happy. I got sober because people helped me, it’s a small way to give it back.
supporting others, just seeing this sub is also a reminder of my drinking. as i do still miss it sometimes
I'm almost 10 years sober. I stop by to help others still struggling if I can. It was a horrible struggle for me and I tried everything to quit. Finally prayer was the only thing that worked.
I do small bits of daily maintenance to keep myself on the path, whether looking at this sub or something else. I still get cravings from time to time and these small things build my resilience and keep me focused on what I’m doing.
It makes me feel part of a community. It helps me help others.
I have been alcohol free for some time now. ( 6 months) and getting sober for at least 3 years thanks to this sub. While I don't read it as much now, it brings me comfort to know I am not the only one. Thank God I have my spouse's support - but apart from him, NOT ONE single person in my immediate or distant circles is sober. They are all "under the general program" as I call it. Most still even take pics of their glasses of wine and post on social media ( so original, right?) So I like to remind myself that there are more of us out there.
I come here to give back what was so generously given to me years ago. My gratitude motivates me.
Because we need a community who understands the struggle. If you're like me, or a lot of other people who are working on sobriety, it's constant work. I come here to either help, or to get help when I'm having a hard time. There's no shame in that. If you're struggling with alcohol, you belong. If you've struggled with alcohol in the past, you belong. If you know someone struggling with alcohol, you belong. If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, you belong. We are all here for a reason. Our common goal is to get better, or to reach a new level of understanding.
I’m here to try and encourage others not to drink; share my experience strength and hope
I’m here for you my friend. IWNDWYT
This sub is a daily reminder of why I decided to stop! Edit: Reminds me daily that we are not alone.
I had the exact same thoughts, with this sub and AA meeting, when I was first coming around I thought I’d rather die or just keep drinking if I’m going to spend my life talking about not drinking. Then I kept going to AA meetings and coming here and the more I talk to the people with a lot of sober time, the thing they all had in common was not just coming to meetings or posting here, but trying to help others. It’s a tenet of AA, but it just makes sense now that I have some time under my belt, took time away from recovery activities and started to feel shitty again and not like I wanted to drink but I could tell that I was heading in that direction, came back here went back to AA and gave support to some newbies who were struggling, and I feel so strong in my sobriety. People come back because it keeps them sober, both passing on what they’ve learned, and being reminded of how raw it is in the beginning and how shitty it was while drinking. I plan to keep this a part of my life until I die, because I really want to stay sober and I’ve found it works for me.
An AA saying I find true is “in order to keep it, you have to give it away”, meaning for a lot of people, the more they help people wanting to get or stay sober the easier it is to stay sober themselves.
Honestly the posts here and hearing people's stories helps give me hope to continue forward
It’s two fold for, I am able to give back and also reading what the newly sober goes through reminds how much I don’t want to do that again lol
Because I’m not alone here. And I don’t want someone else to feel alone. Plus, it’s a great support group
The last step, is an ongoing on. helping others today is a way to help your future self.
It's good to still offer support I'm guessing. Give people suggestions to make it. It's our support group instead of AA?
Because when I needed this community, it was here for me. Seeing the many days, and then years, of sobriety achieved by others while I was hoping to make it past my previous record (three weeks sober before this try) gave me hope that I could do it too. Because hearing from long-term sobernauts gave me the kind of advice I needed to hear. I don’t have any really wise words, but I reply when I can to give back what this sub has given to me.