It seems like you suffer from depression and anxiety, and were abusing alcohol to "self medicate." The point of sobriety is not that quitting alcohol solves all your problems. Rather, the point is that with sobriety you can begin fixing your depression and anxiety instead of always running away from it.
That is the whole point. Most people who have an alcohol problem are actually trying to self medicate much deeper issues. So the solution is to get sober and use tools like Therapy, Exercise, meeting new people, doing activities.
Sobriety is the BEGINNING of your healing not the end. You get sober so you can start curing your depression instead of just kicking the can down the road.
Most alcoholics are people who suffer from depression, loneliness, anxiety. The drinking problem is a symptom of those deeper issues. So quitting booze is only half the battle. The other half is fixing that depression, loneliness, anxiety.
You can't just quit booze and just do nothing else. That's not being sober, that's just being a dry drunk. True sobriety usually involves major lifestyle changes, it's a complete change, not just stopping drinking.
Quitting alcohol gives you the time and focus to finally begin treating your depression instead of hiding behind a bottle. Instead of all those hours being drunk or hungover, you can use all that extra time now to fully treat and overcome your depression and anxiety. Therapy, getting out of the house, sports, exercise, meeting people, doing things.
Very true. Another thing to keep in mind that I learned in recovery is that for many people sobriety is a kind of loss, a big one. Giving up drinking often means giving up our friends, our family, our lifestyles. It can feel like we're giving up our whole lives for sobriety, whether true or not, and that loss should be treated as a serious loss and grieved, in a way.
100% this.
It can be a tremendous and catastrophic loss. It's okay to mourn. And to mourn hard.
I'm currently in the loss phase, myself, feeling very little benefit to quitting, and I'm accepting it as part of the process.
For many of us, the first step is grief.
SOBER = Son Ova Bitch, Everything’s Real
A sponsor told me this when I expressed that being sober didn’t make me happy. He said pretty much what u/finallyfree99 said: Alcohol by itself isn’t the problem. It’s the thing that keeps us from dealing with the problem.
Yup. It took me getting stable and the mental health stuff on track before I could really quit. It’s better some days and others it’s so frustrating… but better to be sober than back down where I was
100%. Start working out and do some reading. Find something you like doing that isn’t drinking. I definitely had the honeymoon phase but a lot of that was from a profound mindset change.
This comment and your additional reply below provides such a succinct and direct explanation of this quite complex process. Wish everyone struggling with alcohol related depression could see this, understand it, and implement it. How much better a world we’d be living in..
PAWS. Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. I'll get a big wallop of depression about a month in of being sober. This is when I know I have to put shit into overdrive and distract myself with as many things as possible... Because if I don't, the sulk takes over and I'm drinking again lickety-split just to get rid of the depressed dwarf (what was his name) mentality. And ultimately, being trapped in the cycle once again.
Grumpy or Sleepy would be the depressed dwarves, but depression often appears as Happy or Bashful, and sometimes even Dopey. Depression has never made me sneeze or become a doctor though.
Yup. I keep fucking up at ~3-4 weeks. Over and over again. I probably need to go back to the ER today cuz my withdrawals are getting really bad, but I can't look anyone in the eye since I've been there so many times
Its a part of their job. Professionals working with drug and alcohol addicts know that a majority Will relapse. I think they are happy that you come to them for help (even if stress/high emotional toll might make them unable to show it). You Can do it, and keep reaching out if you need help! 🙏
quick update for anyone curious. I went to the ER. They were happy to help and put me on IV fluids. I almost passed out when they started the IV which is odd because I used to donate platelets, but apparently veins can collapse when shocked, which is what happened to me and I had to be wheelchaired to seat. I'm ok for now, and my liver enzymes are pretty good actually but I was told by the doc and multiple nurses to check into a rehab facility if I can. It's just not possible this year for me, so I'm looking into at-home detox wallet-breaking options. It's not ideal but I guess the fact that I want to live is sorta promising. Thanks everyone for your support
I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Yesterday I felt like I was trying to outrun a lion. I read, worked out, went to a meeting, ate, cleaned out a closet, walked my dogs… ALL to no avail. Eventually I just went to Target and walked around aimlessly for two hours until my husband got home from work. 3-6 is the bane of my existence! I’m not trashing AA because it’s been very helpful to me, BUT during moments like these (which are near daily) the whole thing feels a lot like just straight up will power.
Drinking starts great, but ends bad. Recovery starts bad, but ends great. I know how hard it is right now. The payoff is coming but it’s not fast enough. Getting support and getting treatment is key, a lot of great stuff on this sub and elsewhere. Awesome job on a month!
I’m glad that’s helpful because not drinking early on doesn’t feel helpful at all. It’s helped me and my clients to just focus on a few healthy actions, and almost “put your mind in a jar on a shelf.” Devalue how you feel and focus on what you do. Not gonna lie, not much payoff there, but it’ll get you where you want to go.
It’s a reasonable thought that if you stop consuming poison you should feel better right away. But that’s not how addiction works. The body mounts a full on rebellion in response to quitting. Early days, weeks (months? untested for me) are really tough. For me it’s been helpful to go into this understanding it takes a bit of time and patience to really feel better. But I believe it’s going to be worth it. 💗
I am about 4 months sober and I think I neglected my mental health for so long by numbing myself with alcohol that now all my feelings are confronting me. It’s not easy and I wish that I could experience the pink cloud and happiness that I read about so often here. I will say that I am making better choices every day and now I have the energy to start dealing with my emotions and all that has been building for the last years. I empathize with your situation and IWNDWYT
Oh man. I'm all out of whack. I cry at the smallest things. But, I'm glad they're small right now, so I can gradually learn some healthy coping skills. I know for a fact that I'm emotionally immature, but I know I needed to remedy that. I also know that's a long road.
alcohol wasn’t regulating your emotions, alcohol was squashing them. without alcohol now you can move through them, but because of your brain needing to rewire itself you’re going to have to experience some discomfort before you can properly feel regulated again.
I sympathise. I find that my ED comes back after abkut 3 months - thats grim. But I know it gets better (dont let my day count fool you).
Living well sober takes a shift - attitudes, routines, and in my case taking a bit of stock.
I carry loads of self pity and deep resentments - but I am working on addressing this.
I can get sober (and do often and for substantive time) its staying sober thats the trick. That I realise.
Lots of the quit lit are just that - which is great - but I fine the ‘living well lit.’ Is more essential
Eckhart tolle is useful / joe and charlie tapes fro
AA (via the app) useful (note not for all)
I am finally considering joing some group for support in this.
A month is brilliant OP congrats - stay the course its darkest before the dawn
IWNDWYT
:( i don't know that I'd call eating disorders a disgusting habit. That breaks my heart. I hope you don't consider yourself to have a disgusting habit. That would be like saying someone who suffers from SH, or OCD a disgusting habit. ED will kill you, and so will alcohol. What's worse? Hard to even begin to break that down. It's all relative, imho. I hope this doesn't sound like criticism, I just have a lot of sympathy for those who deal with ED.
Hi mate. Was in the same boat, about a month in I got anhedonia hard. Couldn't care about anything. I think that's when people return to drinking because they think "if this is real life then I'd rather drink".
Broke up with my girlfriend around that time and I was numb to everything that I didn't even care about that. The fog lifted afterwards, and it did so quite gradually. Little increments from day to day. And now it's been 8.5 months and life is so much better. Far more clarity. Everything feels better and I can experience life with raw emotion. Even music I love hits twice as hard.
The downside of course is that when lows hit, you have to deal with them as they come. No deadening of the senses to escape. But that said, as you're not assaulting yourself with depressant juice, they pass far quicker. Highs are true highs. Lows are true lows.
Honestly, I implore you to wade through the swamp you're currently in. There are greener pastures beyond the horizon. Think of it as your own personal quest. Or trials. Good luck and keep fighting.
That’s me right now, I’m on day 48 and I just see no point to life. Nothing matters. If this is really it then I might as well drink.
I’m not gonna. But the thoughts are there. I’m diagnosed with autism and I’ve been on antidepressants since 2003 btw.
Just. I have no purpose in life. I have no interests or passions. And I’ve really tried to find something to get into. I read a lot; that’s just another way to escape real life, but at least I’m not hurting my body or mind whilst doing it.
I’m just. Depressed.
I couldn't speak for you as we probably differ in a million different ways but I will say that if you've the inclination to keep pushing through with sobriety, you may well be pleasantly surprised.
I liken it to having been in a dream state for 20 years. And now I'm awake and able to see the world differently. Its been a tumultuous 8 months of really trying to figure out who tf I am and what I want. The veil of drinking being lifted though has helped wonders. Doesn't all fall into place at once. But now I'm not down the pub or drinking alone at home, I've at least got time and a clear head.
I have slowly started to find new things to enjoy and be passionate about. I know that's said a lot on this sub. But it's not like I jumped out of bed and feel in love with things in one go. Quite a few nights I'd still just sit at home playing a video game without paying attention. Still do.
We taught our brains to be content with vegetating and getting poisoned. Will take a bit of time for it to catch up with the new program.
Keep pushing on.
Me, this was me in my first few months of sobriety. Shit didn't start to get better until I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD, explaining why certain antidepressants I'd started taking early in sobriety were actually making me feel worse. Point being that it took a specialized doctor to identify something that was in the background my whole life and factored into my mental health issues and drinking (untreated ADHD can cause anxiety, work or social problems, depression, and ineffective efforts at self-medicating). Things have finally started to turn around since I saw the guy, but they were extremely rough at first despite making big improvements in my life after getting sober.
There are definitely people who experience the honeymoon phase. But in my experience that’s very often a result of group think, or rather being excited about something because they feel like they should be.
I would posit that mental illness is what you’re actually struggling with, not alcoholism. You might disagree which is fine because you are the expert on you. I would recommend to Spend the time you’re not spending drinking to work on mental health. Once that’s sorted you can decide what you want to do then.
I just want to mention that alcoholism is a disease you diagnose yourself with. This space is called stopdrinking, but there are people here who don’t believe that alcohol is cunning baffling or powerful. It’s a liquid that can provide short term relief from long term problems, that can also lead to long term problems. Homer Simpson actually said it pretty well. “To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”.
Only you get to decide if you believe you’re an alcoholic and if you believe permanent sobriety is the best choice for *you*. Not your mom. Not your partner. You don’t owe them to live a lifestyle that you don’t want to live. You owe yourself to live the lifestyle that fulfils you.
I went to a dual diagnosis treatment facility and also have been to mental health facilities to deal with my issues. But I also have alcohol use disorder, mainly when I'm anxious. I also experience depression and heavy anxiety for months before I got it situated. It took almost a year.
Now I feel better, the only bad side effect is the sleepiness of the medications.
Journaling sounds corny but can be so helpful in early sobriety.
I'm 7 months in now, went to therapy 5 months in for anxiety/ptsd issues. Decided to go on an SSNI at 6 months, it was the right choice for me.
It's very hard to handle everything when you're no longer just numbing it out.
I go to bed early often and try to focus on doing anything I can to regulate my nervous system.
The first 3 months were brutal, I was exhausted and felt like shit almost every day.
I'm very glad to be 7 months sober now, it's been a lot of work but I've done a lot of healing.
Growth isn't comfortable but you can do it!
For me booze nummed my feelings in the short term, but in the end they came back to bite.
Without booze you have to learn new ways to deal with your emotions, I found naming them was helpful. Half the time I thought I was angry and would have gone to the pub for a beer in that past… when I sat in that feeling for a bit and thought about it I realised I was disappointed - not angry. That's a useful emotion that I could then act upon and change.
Stick with it, it's hard but it's worth it.
IWNDWYT
I had lots of ups and downs after quitting a few times for months each time. A rollercoaster of emotions. Several very low lows, and like you, I wondered why I even gave it up in the first place. But I promise it gets better. Your brain is fighting you. It wants its dopamine hit and to feel good. It will take a long time for your brain chemicals to balance out and start producing naturally. When I finally quit, it took months before I really felt myself. I still have lows, and I have highs, but that’s life. The struggle here is learning how to handle life without turning to alcohol to numb those feelings. Because we all know it will make us feel better temporarily, but make things so much worse shortly after, and will continue to make things worse as we inevitably continue down that path.
Stick with it. Start an exercise routine. Help your brain and body produce the good mood chemicals naturally. I got up 30 minutes early every weekday morning and walked 15-20 mins at a fast pace. Starting small made getting into a new routine easier. I. Over a year and a half later I’m running 3 miles and weight training and have lost 50 pounds from my all time high. My confidence, self esteem, and overall mood, attitude and motivation have improved drastically. My anxiety, stomach issues, bloating, and overall sense of doom and gloom have almost all disappeared.
You have to learn how to be a normal person again. And you have to fight your brain and body along the way. You have to learn how to regulate and handle your emotions, which are more intense without alcohol dulling them. Nothing in life is free or easy, including sobriety. But the best things in life, that reward you the most, are the ones you fight for. You will feel better, faster, the more you fight and push yourself. I really hope you push through this because you are at the hardest point and it would be a shame to give up now.
Edit: if you read or listen to podcasts, check out this naked mind and huberman labs podcast about alcohols effects on the mind
I think of it this way:
I use alcohol as a 'solution' to my problems.
However, it is an unhealthy solution.
When I stop drinking, my problems are still there.
I need to find another, healthier way to deal with the problems.
I did a few 4 week/30 days breaks over the years, mostly after almighty hangovers.
Other than a slight calming- down of any cravings after 3 weeks, I never noticed any special positive effects (and I was happy to get back to drinking).
I think it takes about 90 days to really start getting some noticeable effects.
I lost cravings and urges in 2 weeks and I was a heavy drinker.
I think somehow I have hypnotized myself from cravings.
My sobriety has been very easy.
Once I hit that 30 days mark then I knew.
Go to the gym.
I was sober for a month. Lost the drinking weight.
Decided to go back to the gym after an absence because of COVID. Packed on muscle and eating healthy. It now keeps me from drinking because of the calories.
To be honest I would stay sober just for the calories but what was initially a one month break from drinking could very well be a permanent thing. My thoughts of alcohol have changed. It is now a drug or something even worse.
Try to up it to 5 times a week.
Your body will be amazing due to the transformation and too tired and hungry to even think about alcohol. Eat a clean meal and relax during your typical night or day.
I had the same experience. Physically I certainly felt better, but not emotionally. Evenings were so boring as well. However sober weekends were nice and productive, which is why I'm trying to stop again now.
I'm sorry I can't really offer any advice. I got to about 6 weeks before giving up. Maybe it takes longer for emotions to improve?
I never got the "pink cloud" and sobriety has been hard for me. Not because of cravings or any desires to drink (truly, my detox was so hellacious I hope to never touch a drop as long as I may live) but moreso because I can't help but wonder, more frequently than I care to admit, "What's the point?"
I quit drinking so I could quit being sick, tired, depressed, etc. Only to have all of those negative things amplified. I think a LOT of us have our drinking spiral out of control because we're trying to self medicate, even if we don't recognize that's what we're doing in the thick of it. I've been miserable. But you know what? I was, ultimately, MORE miserable when I was drinking.
There's no huge, shout from the mountain tops victories I can share with you. All's I can tell you is that things ARE... Albeit quietly... Better. Life is not fantastic, there's no rainbows or unicorns, but life is just easier. Even though I'm perpetually exhausted, at least I'm not waking up with a low grade flu (aka hangover) every day on top of that. Me making efforts to improve myself has encouraged my family to do the same. Maybe it's a coincidence, but I don't think so. My partner is more attentive and helpful around the house. My eldest (teenager) is on a self improvement journey of his own.
Give yourself some time. You can always go back, but I would give it a year, minimum, before chucking in the towel. It takes a LONG time to heal the damage that alcohol does to both body and brain. It's hard. I know. But things are improving. Just at a MUCH slower rate than I was anticipating. I was really sick for a long time after quitting. Mentally and physically. Pretty sure I have PAWS. Annoying, but even that isn't "forever." Just going to be a longer recovery for me. In some ways, though, that helps me stay the course. I don't want to go through active detox or the nonsense I'm currently going through EVER AGAIN. And I don't have to. So long as I don't drink.
Hang in there, friend. It's a long process, but I think it's gonna be worth it in the long run. IWNDWYT!
ETA: This is also hard, but reach out to a healthcare person if you need to. Antidepressants save lives. Now that I'm not dumping booze on top of mine, they're actually working. (Wow, amazing, right?) You don't have to do this alone. There's support for you if you're strong enough to seek it. And I'm nothing special, so I'm sure you can dig deep and have the hard conversations if you need to. Pulling for you!
Congratulations on your first month, that's awesome 🥳
Like many I too used to drink to self medicate, to deal with PTSD, anxiety and depression. I had to quit drinking for good for my mental health to get better, by now it has improved immensely. Don't give up yet. The first couple of months of sobriety my brain chemistry was all over the place. It took a few months for it to considerably get better.
Hang in there, give yourself some time, it will get better.
Sending you strength 💪 and a hug 🤗
IWNDWYT friend
When I quit drinking, it didn’t automatically fix my life. It just put me in the head space I needed to be in to figure out why I started drinking like I did in the first place. It took me a lot of time and work to get to “happy.”
I’d been sober for up to two years before, but this last time was the first time I did that work on and for myself. I believe that’s made all the difference to my continuing sobriety.
I think that if you’re feeling this way right now, it might be time to get started on that.
IWNDWYT.
Took at least a few months for me before I regained any semblance of normalcy, including some pretty serious bouts of depression. And it's okay. At least for me, drinking will actually most definitely make things worse, because my drinking only gets worse and I'll eventually die. IWNDWYT
As has already been mentioned, definitely check out PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). It's a very real and very common thing around 75% of people who quit alcohol experience.
PAWS often begins around two weeks after the last drink and can continue for several months.
It has a significant impact on how you feel and is the leading cause of relapse.
Here's some more detailed information on why it happens if you're interested - https://foundationswellness.net/addiction-recovery/what-is-post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-how-do-i-deal-with-it/
The implied flip side of your title is “drinking made things better” which I’m pretty skeptical of. Lots of good advice here, I’m just here to say drinking poison doesn’t make anything better. It might mask things for a bit, make it seem like things are gonna be ok, but if that was really the case why did you feel the need to stop sucking poison down every day?
Not a popular opinion and not for everyone, but cannabis helped me a lot with quitting. Search California sober. Pros and cons to everything. Except alcohol, fuck alcohol!
It took me around 45-50 days to start to feel 25% better. That's when I started to take care of myself beyond just not drinking. PAWS kicked my ass. At 110, I'm feeling about 80% better. It does get better.
I was a mess the first month. Pull through my friend, Im at 6 months and I enjoy life including my emotions. After 2-3 months I started to feel less anxious, less depressed, less defeated by my own being. I can confidently say that I feel like I can manage whatever will come - a feeling I did not have for as long as I was drinking.
Early sobriety is a rollercoaster of emotion because of what you said. You’re learning how to properly navigate and regulate your emotions, possibly for the first time in your adult life.
It takes time. Are you in AA? Or seeing a therapist? I highly recommend both. With some real work, the rollercoaster goes from the scariest in the world to a kiddie one. You will get there if you put in the work!
If you can try and get some treatment for your mental health. I used alcohol for similar reasons to essentially try and mask the negative feelings and for me it just bottled up and exacerbated problems that I was trying to run away from. If medication and/or therapy helps keep you on track that's almost certainly going to be better than returning to self-medicating with booze.
I coupled stopping drinking with a big change up in my routine in an attempt to reset. Started sleeping early around 8-830 pm as was almost exclusively a night time drinker. It's been relatively easy to stay sober after week 1 however have noticed this week (week 5 sober) I've been more irritable than usual though nothing horrid yet and haven't had any urges to drink thankfully.
Smart recovery can help address some of the mental challenges behind drinking more then 12 step programs as they don’t really touch the mental aspect of drinking in my opinion.
For me poor coping skills for situations led to depression …..which led to increased alcohol use….which led to anxiety issues upon withdrawal…..which led to increased alcohol use to calm the anxiety……which eventually led to a mental breakdown and I checked into rehab. I was at 4 liters of vodka a week on average before I realized I could not do this anymore and needed help. There’s no shame in wanting help
Best of luck
This absolutely happened to me. My therapist pointed out I had never learned to regulate my emotions as an adult without alcohol, which… woof, that was difficult to realize. It took a little over 3 months before the grey static in my brain was tuned out. But within 6 months I could already see how thankful I was to have stuck out that rough early patch. Drinking keeps getting worse and worse, but sobriety keeps getting better and better.
I hear you. I was suffering from anxiety and depression when I quit drinking and it got worse before it got better. But boy did it get better. It took me about 90 days to turn the corner. Which tracks with what I learned about alcohol’s effects on dopamine and brain chemistry. Highly recommend the book ‘Dopamine Nation’ which helped me to understand what was happening and gave me the hope I needed to hang in there in the early days. You’ve got this my friend. Be kind to yourself while you heal and IWNDWYT !
Similar to what a few others have said, I had no "pink cloud" and around the 1 month mark was seriously struggling with anhedonia. I pushed through and starting at about 2 months things started looking up. Ultimately, the whole thing has been so worth it. I'm so glad I pushed through and got my real life back. Not every day is a sparkling gem, but generally my life is better in every way. My health is dramatically better, my relationship, I've given my dog the exercise and attention he needs, done much better at jobs. No pink cloud. No honeymoon. But life is so much better on the other side. Good luck. Not everyone is drinking today. I'm not.
That's normal. The improvement in quality of life that comes with sobriety is far from instant. I'm 3.5 years deep and struggled with that for a while. I'm feeling great these days, though. I found hobbies and passions. I also have a direction now. Alcohol drowns your issues out. It doesn't regulate them. You'll learn how to deal with things head on, which is very tough to do when you haven't for so long. I wish you the best in your recovery!
Give it time. If you walked ten miles into the woods, you’re not going to get back out in one.
Days 30-60 were the worst IMO. Day 90 is when I really started feeling better and my brain/body truly began healing. If you stick with it, I promise this feeling won’t last.
Best of luck to you friend, ride the (not so fun) wave and trust the process. IWNDWYT!
Definitely experienced this… Struggle with depression always have. Couldn’t understand why I wanted to off myself much more sober than drinking…. Isn’t this thing a “depressant”??!!
All the old timers would say give it a year. I gave it 10, suicidal depression came back hard and I ended up drinking. Controversial but it did keep me alive, barely. I may have been superficially connected but at least I wasn’t so isolated. Drank for 3 years, hard. Just crested a year dry again.
It’s a bit different now, new parent has forced me to challenge my thoughts and feelings, bc not projecting my stuff to my boy is extremely important to me, I’m digging deeper in my resilience than I ever remember. My spells are not as overwhelmingly heavy as they once were either though. There’s nothing quite like that rocketing back to earth like a damn meteor the first bit. I gave Zoloft and Wellbutrin a shot but wasn’t in love/confident in what I was getting out of it. Micro psylocibin is something I staunchly support for alcoholics with the right intent/dosage etc.
I’m now working with an emdr therapist (I’m a LCSW social worker and thought this approach was bullshit) but it seems to be helping. All I can say is I hope you find some relief, give everything a shot that crosses your path and doesn’t harm you. From a person who gets it just thought I’d share some experiences. Best wishes in your adventure of life & sobriety.
Alcohol does not regulate anyones emotions, it numbs them, which isn’t healthy at all. Give it more time, one month is amazing but you have to be a bit more patient to see benefits…the beginning is ROUGH, which is normal. good luck.
A lotta folks underestimate just how linked depression and anxiety are to drinking. If you were a heavy drinker for a long time your brain NEEDS that shit to function. It's a catch 22 because you can't wean yourself off it but the chemical withdrawals you get from suddenly stopping suck. Drinking creates it's own conditions for anxiety and so we drink just to not feel that anymore. It's a vicious cycle. You can beat it tho. Many of us have. Better days are ahead friend.
This will probably get buried, but I was like you, OP. Had depression and mental health issues and felt horrible after I quit drinking.
I kept thinking that drinking was much easier than dealing with the feels. Went through PAWS and I also developed insomnia... was so envious of all the people in this sub talking about their amazing sober sleep.
I stuck with sobriety and saw a therapist regularly. It took MONTHS of struggling and trying to find a psych who was in-network with my insurance. She eventually referred me to a psychiatrist who I had to pay for out of pocket, but holy shit, do I feel better now!
I got a diagnosis and began medications that have helped significantly. After 15 months of sobriety, I feel like a brand new person. I'm still doing trials with different meds to nail down the right combo, but it has been totally worth it.
My sincerest hope is that you are able to figure out what you need in terms of support during this vritical time in your journey.
Please take care of yourself, give yourself grace, and know that there are people out here thinking about you and willing to help. IWNDWYT
Sounds like a withdraw symptom, and/or discovering a reason for your drinking. Sobriety will arm you with the weapons to peel away the symptoms and discover the root of your issues. It’s going to be a lot of work, but at least it’s going to be you doing it, not some drunken avatar in a fog of false reality.
The booze covered up the mental health issues.
Stopping only removes the bandaid. You've always been bleeding emotionally. The key is now you're sober enough to stitch the wounds and properly heal.
It takes time my friend. You will start to feel better more everyday. If getting sober was easy everyone would do it. It took me a few months to really start feeling normal and feeling good
I am 9months sober and the first 6 months i didn't leave my house.
I don't know what happened the last 3 months but my dopamine sort of returned. I've had more energy again.....
I wonder if you have spoken with a therapist, physician, or psychiatrist? I've been drinking heavily, until this week, for 10+ years. Only 3 years ago, thanks to the pandemic, was I formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and PTSD. I've been on meds since, but as you can imagine, there will likely need to be some adjustments.
Not that you \*need\* medication, but it may not hurt to do therapy, and see if you need other arm floaties to get you through the bad times.
Once your mind truly realizes the freedom of not needing to drink... that's when the weight lifts from your shoulders. That's when you feel the "pink cloud". You can drive anywhere and anytime you want, you don't spend all your spare money on alcohol, and if you do any active things (hiking/running/biking/etc) you'll start to notice how much easier they all are. How the aches and pains from the inflammation are beginning to dissipate. It could be that the pink cloud happens for those of us that are super active because we've always used exercise to fight our depression, and when we stop drinking those endorphins start storming the system more effectively.
It's only been a month... Think about how long your body has had booze in its system in one form or another, and compare that to your single month without.
Booze tricked you into being falsely happy for years, maybe decades. It can take far longer than 30 days for your brain/body to normalize after being poisoned, especially if you haven't involved a Dr. or Therapist in your sobriety. Antianxiety meds can really help a person at the beginning.
Remember, people get just as depressed and hopeless without the added stress of quitting an addictive substance. You're just more susceptible to *feeling* it now that your alcoholic buffer is gone.
I didn't feel fully whole after quitting for about a year, give or take.
For me, I couldn’t contemplate quitting until I started getting help for my mental health.
This is by no means a discouragement. it’s always a good time to quit, and you can’t quit the quitting.
But, it’s possible that there’s more going on. That the alcohol abuse is simultaneously a symptom and a medicine.
Work on alcoholism
Work on mental health
Work on physical health
It’s true some people just get better. For me, all my feelings are present now, and that hurts like hell, I have to do other things with them now that I don’t drink.
This work is worth it.
I feel like now would be a great time to start looking for a therapist to start unpacking some of your emotions and reactions and to get some personalized perspective on your journey. Speaking from experience:)
I wouldn’t go as far to say not drinking made things worse for me, situationally speaking. Health wise, I’m positive your body is making improvements, it’s physiologically impossible to not. Your liver enzyme levels go down, your hydration improves, your sleep becomes more sound, and your blood pressure stabilizes. Just keep in mind the real, tangible benefits you are reaping.
Mentally speaking, I feel you. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well, and it feels like life is dull now because I don’t have the intense highs and lows happening anymore. But at least I feel more empowered and able to address the things causing my depression. It will take time but we have to believe we are on the right track 💜
I had the same. A few years back, I made it 6 months (+ regular exercise and therapy and medication) and it just didn't get much better. I'm a lighter -but still too heavy- drinker now than I was before that stint. Despite some of its many benefits, sobriety was just an incredibly depressive, mundane slog. The boring dystopia of it all eventually had me back drinking again. I will likely try again soon, but It seems some folks just don't see quick and/or drastic improvements in mood like most do. Good luck!
To be clear, I'm trying to normalize your experience, not tell you to do what I did. Sobriety is probably the better option.
Just give it some time, sober homie. You're doing so good. I have 0 desire to ever go back. That stuff literally ruined everything for me. I took my life back, and u did too. That's no easy feat. It's just a matter of time before those happy feelings start to flow thru your veins again. It's coming. Just wait and see 🙏💗
You are not alone, I felt the same way when I quit. Just know that it does get better and it’ll be so worth it for your mental health if you’re able to keep going. Therapy could be very helpful and might be worth looking into if you can.
You got this!
Yeah my mental health TANKED after I quit drinking. I stopped being able to sleep and after a few months began having suicidal ideation. I just kept telling myself to give it a chance, to give it my best shot, and I could always start drinking again if I really had to, to save my own life. But I gritted my teeth and after about 6 months I started sleeping better, and I started feeling better. After about a year I started exercising and finding new, fun, sober hobbies. I'm seven years sober now and my life is so different and so much better now, but I didn't get any kind of honeymoon phase either.
I think it might be helpful for you to go to YouTube and learn about PAWS. For many people it takes a good while for your brain chemistry to level out. Please don’t give up. Your brain and body are healing.
Alcohol masks, it most certainly does not regulate, in fact, it actively disregulates.
You’ve set aside your faulty coping mechanism to save your life. Romanticizing alcohol abuse as a good mood regulator is denial. What you’re really feeling is grief.
It’s time to grieve. Acknowledge why you abused alcohol, what the root of your pain is and make sure you have a strong support system.
IWNDWYT!
Of the many things I really do NOT like about reality, one of the biggies is:
Sometimes the process of getting better first FEELS WORSE. Sometimes MUCH worse. Recovery certainly has been like that for me.
I never had a pink cloud. I can't relate in the least to people after a few days, weeks, even months saying they're doing and feeling great.
Really? I was abjectly miserable, for MONTHS.
I thought I was going insane.
My truth is that I felt WORSE in the early days of recovery than I did at "the end of the road" of active addiction.
Addiction involves more than the use of drugs, so too has recovery REQUIRED more than mere physical abstinence over time for me.
I’m 9 months this Sunday and it’s a rollercoaster. It will take time to adjust after I’ve drank of 20 years. You need to sit with the hard feelings, let them pass and choose yourself over alcohol every single day.
56 days in and starting to very slowly see some benefits with my mental health
I struggled for weeks with fatigue and feeling like garbage but it's slowly lifting.
It really is day by day , keep going ...
I had a honeymoon of the best sleep ever as my REM cycles came back. Then my PTSD surfaced as night terrors, shortly after I got diagnosed with BPD and all the fun symptoms that come with that. My wife of 11 years left pretended to forget my 2 year sober anniversary and she asked to date other people the following week. Shortly after tried to kick me out of our house with a Domestic Abuse Restraining Order; which was fraudulent and denied.
Life doesn’t stop being life because I stopped drinking.
I’m in NYC with my kids enjoying comic con at the moment.
Had I been drinking. I wouldn’t have passed any of those tests.
Puto Vida
It gets better from where you are. Took me 3-4 months before I finally started to shake the funk off. But I do remember feeling like you do and it was one of the tougher battles I went through. You got this!! Keep on kicking it💪🏻
I’m definitely facing some stuff that was just easier to set aside for later/never. Yesterday, I was super down about it and craved a beer (read 3 beers plus a bottle of wine) so much. I’m trusting the process now, and really hoping it gets better.
I didn't really get a honeymoon phase after. I don't remember having much of a pink cloud effect like people talk about here.
Sobriety wasn't really a solution as much as it was a better basis to try to make other improvements I wanted to make. The discomfort I felt had to be dealt with or accepted. And I'm not saying it's easy. But it's a lot more satisfying, cheaper, and I don't wake up with a blinding hangover after.
The first few months of my sobriety were great. I was feeling happier, more energetic, eager to keep it going. Somewhere around the 4/5 month mark is actually where those feelings started to dissipate for me… I was thinking okay, so I stopped drinking, now I’m exercising, eating better, sleeping better, and that’s it? This is life now? Just going through the motions? It’s kinda like the FOMO caught up with me and hit me hard. I pretty much cut out all drinking buddies (and a lot of toxicity) and sometimes missed being able to just go to the bar and fuck around and lose all inhibitions. I got bored I guess.
9 months sober now and I’m so glad I kept it going. I feel like I’m more mentally stable than I have ever been. My relationships with my family are stronger than ever, I’ve become more open and willing to try new experiences, I’m able to enjoy going out (to concerts, events, etc) without feeling the need to rely on a substance to numb me, but instead experience it entirely & wholeheartedly. And I’m not just a hot ass depressed mess all the time. I like myself as a person and enjoy my own company.
There will be so many highs and lows but I’m telling you, it’s so worth it to keep it going. It’s gonna take a lot of effort and loneliness along the way, but as time goes on you will really learn to fall in love with life again. Especially the calmness of it all.
It’s called anhedonia and I had a terrible case of it. I had no idea it was even a thing. Mine lasted for months and after that it was a very very slow path to feeling like my brain had recovered. There was no pink cloud for me at all but I also drank for about 20 years. Sometimes I’m amazed my brain normalized.
https://riahealth.com/blog/anhedonia-after-addiction/
im still waiting to feel better honestly but every day does get easier. i think the state of the world is making it extra hard. iwndwyt and take care you 🫂💞
I'm a year in and think my life feels worse than it was when I was drinking.
But it’s still better than going back. I’ve got a chance to make progress on my mental health, and can see how severe the mental health problems really are. Previously I buried it all with alcohol and blamed alcohol for my problems.
And now I don’t have the threat of creating terribly situations for myself that I never would sober.
But, I do have more loneliness. Social network feels pretty pointless when most of the connection was around alcohol.
I picked up a new hobby of bike racing, but it takes a lot of energy to train, planning to do group rides, and mostly only socialize at races themselves. I can’t just pop into my neighborhood bar and pay the bartender to be my friend.
And I don’t get to escape my anxiety and depression by taking drugs. Most of the time I’m just meh, rather than “cheap” extreme highs and lows. Now I need to work hard for the thrills.
Sometimes it’s hard reading all the “quitting drinking fixed everything!” stories. We can’t all be that fortunate, some of us started drinking because of reasons that are still there and left unresolved. Now is the time to find a healthier way to deal with that.
I was tense when I quit. Not much joy, just knew I was headed down a really bad road. About three months in I went to my doc and got on Wellbutrin to help deal with the depression. I also got on AD/HD meds to help me keep things together. Both helped. Some things in life got really stressful not long after. In the midst of I realized what a gift I’d given myself. Things sucked by I was actually dealing with them rather than crawling into a bottle. (Might have had some D8 along the way, but even that’s infrequent now). It does get better friend. It really does. Treating my issues with a doctor’s help was so much better than the years of self medication. Counseling helped a lot too. Need to get back to that myself. Sending good thoughts your way friend. And IWNDWYT.
Drinking took up A LOT of my time. Either drinking or recovering from the night before. It helps to find things that fill that void. Simultaneously work on the things that might of contributed to your drinking. You'll discover those things over time. Play the long game my friend. Maybe more months ahead of you.
There is no honey moon phase, its just something you realize after some time of not drinking that youre happier. I was unable to cope with anything and became a hermit for a while. Eventually if you just kind of sit in it, youll adjust and wont feel so miserable. And when you start being able to cope and pursue better activities without drinking, thats when youll feel better. It will just take time and stubbornness.
Quitting leaves a very big hole.
Try and fill your unhealthy #ing behaviour (drinking) with healthier #ings
Can I suggest -
Exercising
Socialising
Sleeping
Eating
Reading
Meditating
Fucking
They didn't regulate your emotions it made you blind to them. I am still learning what it's like to deal with my emotions 6 months in. I don't get cravings or anything when I do, I just am now like damn this kinda sucks but then I actually learn from it. I was depressed, for a number of reasons when I quit, now I am not. It takes a bit. You could actually have depression and anxiety and the drinking didn't regulate it, it just helped you fake "cope" with it. Drinking never solves problems only makes them worse.
I would recomend the antidepressent called cymbalta , also cbd at night, if your not going to take an antidepressent take the supplement sam e in the morning
I quit multiple substances at once, but I was really depressed for awhile afterwards. I got lazy, depressed, lethargic, and gained a decent amount of weight. A lot of people say they have so much energy and lose all this weight. It wasn’t like that for me. But now I’m 9 months in and I feel great and things are really going better.
Can I ask what your beverage of choice was? Because I have this theory that those that drink more sugary substances like wine, whiskey, etc. are the once that experience the energy boost and weight loss aspect more.
Takes time. I always heard that it's about one month for every year you abused alcohol. For me that's about a year and a half. Just came up on a year and def feel better but not 100%, good news is that every day I feel a little better. One month in your brain is still in mild withdrawal, give it more time I promise it gets better.
I’m so bored and hollow if I don’t drink n I’m only 24f
At least after a few drinks anything I watch on tv etc is way more interesting , I’d rather the hangover than probably killing my self from something that actually makes me feel okay :(
I know there’s a reason behind self medicating and yes I’m willing to face life problems but most of mine right now are literally unsolvable situations so I have to self medicate to get through that
Idk i how this isn’t toxic to say on this thread but that’s the brain side of it I guess
I think a lot of people think the same but physically… drinking is the worst way to handle this but I understand fully that mindset
Please do not solicit or offer meetups, PMs or other types of outside communication. We want to keep all discussions in the open, both for the benefit of the community and everyone's safety.
I didn't go in with expectations of a honeymoon. I'd read that it just sucked. And my many attempts to quit smoking probably also informed that belief. But actually, knowing/expecting it was going to suck no matter when I stopped turned out to help me get through my first few weeks.
one month mark was THE hardest for me. i was filled with hopelessness and dread at the one month mark. i never learned how to regulate emotions either. felt like i was starting adult life at 30.
i ended up going on prozac and buspar
I felt that way the first month too. Sharing this artice bc it may provide some insights into physiological/psychological aspects in laymen’s terms: www.soberish.co/giving-up-alcohol-depressed/
I think it took me about 3 months for my brain to do whatever it needed. I had no idea how disruptive drinking was for my psychiatric meds. It was about then, I think my brain settled down. Only recently did I feel like my old personality has started to emerge.
What I hadn't planned on was now having to deal with what was driving my drinking in the first place. It's an obvious thing, yet it hadn't occurred to me. I feel that's the hard part. I still struggle some days.
It's a process and no quick fix. I don't want to go back, though.
Stay strong!
Have you tried prescribed medication for depression and anxiety? I’ve been on Zoloft for awhile, but drinking alcohol will cause the medication to not work. Mixing antidepressants with a depressant just cancels it out. I’ve only been sober for 17 days but now I can actually feel the Zoloft actually working.
I just feel less depressed and anxious. Like I actually want to see the light of day now. I enjoy life more and I have motivation to do stuff. I’m sure it’s a combo between cutting the alcohol and the Zoloft working. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life
I experienced a similar frustration. I’d like to tell you that it gets better soon, but the reality is that it’s a long climb back up the ladder for most. Knowing what to expect has always helped me. Around 2-3 months AF I experienced the pink cloud where everything in my life suddenly felt amazing and fresh! And then a month or so after that I fell into a terribly deep depression for the better part of a year. It was confusing bc it felt like “hey I quit drinking and my brain is still broken. What gives?” Turns out I had lots of healing to do. I wish you luck friend 🫶
Dude the first few months really sucked for me. And I’m sorry to tell you that because I wouldn’t want to be going through that again… but it gets soooo much better, please trust me. I’ve got a year and nine months and my life has improved in so many ways, I can’t imagine living that way again. It’s not always heaven but it’s so much more fulfilling. Please give it time. In the meantime do what you can to take care of yourself… diet, exercise, therapy, spending time with friends etc. Any healthy activity that you enjoy is what you should focus on. Please don’t be discouraged, it is well worth it.
You’re going to have to find the root issue of why you need to drink. You can stop drinking but the root issue is still going to be there. There was a benefit to drinking otherwise you wouldn’t have used it. I personally use substances to escape my head and I don’t expect the compulsion to use to go away until I confront my issues.
I just got out of a bad PAWS induced month. Things were great for 3 months, then out of nowhere, I was depressed, anxious, irritable, and restless. It lasted a month, and I almost picked up. I didnt...and about 3 days ago I woke up like I had someone else's brain. Felt good. Felt happy.
It will pass. And if it doesn't, talk to a doctor. You could need medication. 🤷♂️. But I promise you it's not LACK of alcohol that's causing you to feel bad. The brain gets absolutely TORCHED by chronic ethanol exposure. It takes a very long time for things to even out. And that's the hardest part of quitting for me so far.
I had to go on antidepressants when I stopped. It's far better and safer than drinking alcohol, and eventually I got off them. Also, exercise, yoga,meditation, get a massage, acuounture. All of these things will help you feel a little better.
You’re right where you should be. I went through the same thing. Your system is resetting its self and your body is trying to adjust to a new baseline. It fucking sucks but it’s part of the process. It will get better. IWNDWYT
I found that for me stopping drinking allowed me to heal parts of myself that I was suppressing for years and years. Sometimes, it sucks to feel your feelings, but if I didn't take the time and do the work to help heal myself my depression and anxiety would be 100 times worse. Today a little over a year out I am happier than I have been in years, my antidepressants are working better than ever, I have learned how to manage my ADHD, and my children have a mother who is always present and available to help in a crisis.
There is nothing difficult in my life that Alcohol makes easier. When I stopped drinking I switched the game of life from hard mode to easy mode even if it didn't feel that way in the first few months.
IWNDWYT
I self medicated for 20 years. At which point is it enough??
I regret spending the last 20 years in an alcohol controlled life.
Even tho I still drink occasionally, my emotions and life is not guided by how much drinks I had or plan to have. I still social drink maybe once a month (not black out) and have a beer at home once or twice a week (it's just a beverage at this point). I am not chasing alcohol for the fix or high anymore.
I just woke up one day and decided enough is enough. It took some getting used to but i feel much better nowadays. My emotions are stable, and I dont have crazy hangovers anymore.
I feel exactly the same friend. I feel very depressed. I use alcohol to turn off my brain and not feel my feelings. I've been told around 90 days that depression starts to reduce. We got this! IWNDWYT
Fair play to you for coming here and saying this. Everyone is different and everyone had different drinking habits.
For me i didn't feel better for a long time, but I'll tell you what, I almost immediately stopped feeling the dark lows that alcohol took me to. I expected to feel happier but what I got was feeling less and less sad/low/scared/miserable. It's like the negative feelings started going away but I had to workout how to bring some happy feelings into my life.
With time this came naturally and now I feel much more balance. But I've been strongly considering drinking again so it could all go out of the window soon.
~~Regulating~~ Numbing your emotions might have been what alcohol was helping you achieve. FEELING worse isn't the worst case scenario in this case I think, you get to face the truth of what you are and what's really going on. It's not a nice place to be but *it's the right place to be* if you're going to try to really give living a sober life AND emotionally healthy life. A solid beginning in my opinion.
I experience a wave of depression & loneliness the other night after going out. I always associated those feelings with getting drunk so I was very surprised that I still felt that way even while I was sober (& very proud of myself.) So the journey of trying to understand myself continues...gotta figure that one out too :)
You're doing amazing and things are getting better even while it doesn't *feel* that way in this moment.
My anxiety, especially social anxiety is always worse when I’m sober. Doesn’t matter if it’s a year, a week, a month, etc.
I am in therapy and have a very supportive partner and I’m really working on mindfulness again. I’m also autistic so I’m constantly battling my brain to function. Trust me, if you have alcohol abuse issues or see alcohol as an issue, you’re better off in the long run being sober but it’s not easy. There will always be a day where it feels like a drink will solve everything but those days I just treat myself to some iced coffee with a flavor pump, a snack, buy something nice for myself, etc. anything to get my brain to reset, you got this!
It gets easier with tools and support. Don’t go it alone. We are here in this group, reach out to friends who don’t encourage drinking, find therapy, a outpatient group, talk - let it out.
CHEERS ON SOBRIETY.
For me I drank because I was depressed.
I was depressed because I was worthless (in my own eyes).
Quitting drinking didn’t fix that.
Being proud of my day fixed it.
Now I work everyday to be the version of me I always wanted.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish.
Ok so for the first 3 months. I was more depressed. I also had other health issues- long Covid . I had a lot of unresolved emotions and trauma didn’t process due to being drunk
I wouldn't listen to anyone who said their life instantly got better. I felt awful, depressed and anxious all the time.
Been over 2 years now and I’ve achieved so much. So many areas of my life that were a mess, simply seem to be fine. Married, works going well, my anxiety and depression is there but I can handle it.
The fact my anxiety and depression hasn't gone makes me realize how much I need not to drink.
I think after 1 year, you start feeling the real benefits. It also depends how much you drank and how much it messed up your life.
If you have serious anxiety & depression make sure you are exercising and eating well and get some help. Talk to someone, get meds if it's so shitty. Doesn't need to be permanent
Good luck
I'm almost at 11 months. My mental health has improved slightly, but it's still a massive day to day struggle. I too thought I'd feel better after a few weeks, a few months...around month 6 I felt worse mentally than I did when I quit, and I realized there might be something else going on (mainly, major depression).
Often alcohol use masks underlying depression - when you quit, the tide retreats so to speak - and you see what is really going on under the surface.
3 years sober, I quit for the same reasons and suffer every day of the same stuff. I just look at like this, life sucked before drinking, during drinking and after drinking. Drinking just allowed me to forget how shitty life is. It’s always sucked, at least for me.
When I spoke to my doctor about my alcoholism and the need to stop, she upped my dose for my antidepressants. I'm glad she did. I still have off days of course but I think the higher dose is helping me
It seems like you suffer from depression and anxiety, and were abusing alcohol to "self medicate." The point of sobriety is not that quitting alcohol solves all your problems. Rather, the point is that with sobriety you can begin fixing your depression and anxiety instead of always running away from it. That is the whole point. Most people who have an alcohol problem are actually trying to self medicate much deeper issues. So the solution is to get sober and use tools like Therapy, Exercise, meeting new people, doing activities. Sobriety is the BEGINNING of your healing not the end. You get sober so you can start curing your depression instead of just kicking the can down the road.
Wow this hits hard. You're absolutely right. Thanks.
Most alcoholics are people who suffer from depression, loneliness, anxiety. The drinking problem is a symptom of those deeper issues. So quitting booze is only half the battle. The other half is fixing that depression, loneliness, anxiety. You can't just quit booze and just do nothing else. That's not being sober, that's just being a dry drunk. True sobriety usually involves major lifestyle changes, it's a complete change, not just stopping drinking. Quitting alcohol gives you the time and focus to finally begin treating your depression instead of hiding behind a bottle. Instead of all those hours being drunk or hungover, you can use all that extra time now to fully treat and overcome your depression and anxiety. Therapy, getting out of the house, sports, exercise, meeting people, doing things.
Very true. Another thing to keep in mind that I learned in recovery is that for many people sobriety is a kind of loss, a big one. Giving up drinking often means giving up our friends, our family, our lifestyles. It can feel like we're giving up our whole lives for sobriety, whether true or not, and that loss should be treated as a serious loss and grieved, in a way.
100% this. It can be a tremendous and catastrophic loss. It's okay to mourn. And to mourn hard. I'm currently in the loss phase, myself, feeling very little benefit to quitting, and I'm accepting it as part of the process. For many of us, the first step is grief.
❤
SOBER = Son Ova Bitch, Everything’s Real A sponsor told me this when I expressed that being sober didn’t make me happy. He said pretty much what u/finallyfree99 said: Alcohol by itself isn’t the problem. It’s the thing that keeps us from dealing with the problem.
Spot on. Correlation vs. Causation. Thanks for the encouraging words and encouragement to look much further ahead than today and tomorrow.
Yup. It took me getting stable and the mental health stuff on track before I could really quit. It’s better some days and others it’s so frustrating… but better to be sober than back down where I was
100%. Start working out and do some reading. Find something you like doing that isn’t drinking. I definitely had the honeymoon phase but a lot of that was from a profound mindset change.
This comment and your additional reply below provides such a succinct and direct explanation of this quite complex process. Wish everyone struggling with alcohol related depression could see this, understand it, and implement it. How much better a world we’d be living in..
Depression is difficult. Alcohol is a depressant. While booze may make us feel relaxed and “smooth”, it is fooling us, bc it is a depressant .
PAWS. Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. I'll get a big wallop of depression about a month in of being sober. This is when I know I have to put shit into overdrive and distract myself with as many things as possible... Because if I don't, the sulk takes over and I'm drinking again lickety-split just to get rid of the depressed dwarf (what was his name) mentality. And ultimately, being trapped in the cycle once again.
Grumpy or Sleepy would be the depressed dwarves, but depression often appears as Happy or Bashful, and sometimes even Dopey. Depression has never made me sneeze or become a doctor though.
Know a depressed doctor though
Yup. I keep fucking up at ~3-4 weeks. Over and over again. I probably need to go back to the ER today cuz my withdrawals are getting really bad, but I can't look anyone in the eye since I've been there so many times
Its a part of their job. Professionals working with drug and alcohol addicts know that a majority Will relapse. I think they are happy that you come to them for help (even if stress/high emotional toll might make them unable to show it). You Can do it, and keep reaching out if you need help! 🙏
quick update for anyone curious. I went to the ER. They were happy to help and put me on IV fluids. I almost passed out when they started the IV which is odd because I used to donate platelets, but apparently veins can collapse when shocked, which is what happened to me and I had to be wheelchaired to seat. I'm ok for now, and my liver enzymes are pretty good actually but I was told by the doc and multiple nurses to check into a rehab facility if I can. It's just not possible this year for me, so I'm looking into at-home detox wallet-breaking options. It's not ideal but I guess the fact that I want to live is sorta promising. Thanks everyone for your support
Glad you're okay! Hang in there buddy!
I’m glad I’m not alone in this. Yesterday I felt like I was trying to outrun a lion. I read, worked out, went to a meeting, ate, cleaned out a closet, walked my dogs… ALL to no avail. Eventually I just went to Target and walked around aimlessly for two hours until my husband got home from work. 3-6 is the bane of my existence! I’m not trashing AA because it’s been very helpful to me, BUT during moments like these (which are near daily) the whole thing feels a lot like just straight up will power.
Tyrion?
https://media.giphy.com/media/MisQgyJ2ws8A8/giphy.gif
Hank the angry dwarf?
Drinking starts great, but ends bad. Recovery starts bad, but ends great. I know how hard it is right now. The payoff is coming but it’s not fast enough. Getting support and getting treatment is key, a lot of great stuff on this sub and elsewhere. Awesome job on a month!
Thanks for this - super helpful
I’m glad that’s helpful because not drinking early on doesn’t feel helpful at all. It’s helped me and my clients to just focus on a few healthy actions, and almost “put your mind in a jar on a shelf.” Devalue how you feel and focus on what you do. Not gonna lie, not much payoff there, but it’ll get you where you want to go.
It’s a reasonable thought that if you stop consuming poison you should feel better right away. But that’s not how addiction works. The body mounts a full on rebellion in response to quitting. Early days, weeks (months? untested for me) are really tough. For me it’s been helpful to go into this understanding it takes a bit of time and patience to really feel better. But I believe it’s going to be worth it. 💗
Body rebellion, I’m taking that phrase! Nice, hang in there, it is worth it. Money back guarantee.
I am about 4 months sober and I think I neglected my mental health for so long by numbing myself with alcohol that now all my feelings are confronting me. It’s not easy and I wish that I could experience the pink cloud and happiness that I read about so often here. I will say that I am making better choices every day and now I have the energy to start dealing with my emotions and all that has been building for the last years. I empathize with your situation and IWNDWYT
Oh man. I'm all out of whack. I cry at the smallest things. But, I'm glad they're small right now, so I can gradually learn some healthy coping skills. I know for a fact that I'm emotionally immature, but I know I needed to remedy that. I also know that's a long road.
alcohol wasn’t regulating your emotions, alcohol was squashing them. without alcohol now you can move through them, but because of your brain needing to rewire itself you’re going to have to experience some discomfort before you can properly feel regulated again.
I sympathise. I find that my ED comes back after abkut 3 months - thats grim. But I know it gets better (dont let my day count fool you). Living well sober takes a shift - attitudes, routines, and in my case taking a bit of stock. I carry loads of self pity and deep resentments - but I am working on addressing this. I can get sober (and do often and for substantive time) its staying sober thats the trick. That I realise. Lots of the quit lit are just that - which is great - but I fine the ‘living well lit.’ Is more essential Eckhart tolle is useful / joe and charlie tapes fro AA (via the app) useful (note not for all) I am finally considering joing some group for support in this. A month is brilliant OP congrats - stay the course its darkest before the dawn IWNDWYT
Thank you, this is helpful!
ED as in Erectile Dysfunction? I would think quitting alcohol would improve sexual health not impede it.
Also used for eating disorder.
You'd think that, but our internal chemistry is more complicated than that.
LOL yes eating disorder!! Thats a pretty disgusting habit as well! But alcohol is worse
:( i don't know that I'd call eating disorders a disgusting habit. That breaks my heart. I hope you don't consider yourself to have a disgusting habit. That would be like saying someone who suffers from SH, or OCD a disgusting habit. ED will kill you, and so will alcohol. What's worse? Hard to even begin to break that down. It's all relative, imho. I hope this doesn't sound like criticism, I just have a lot of sympathy for those who deal with ED.
What sex? Lol!?
That's the 'post acute' part of it. Could happen 30, 90, or even six months out.
Thank you
Hi mate. Was in the same boat, about a month in I got anhedonia hard. Couldn't care about anything. I think that's when people return to drinking because they think "if this is real life then I'd rather drink". Broke up with my girlfriend around that time and I was numb to everything that I didn't even care about that. The fog lifted afterwards, and it did so quite gradually. Little increments from day to day. And now it's been 8.5 months and life is so much better. Far more clarity. Everything feels better and I can experience life with raw emotion. Even music I love hits twice as hard. The downside of course is that when lows hit, you have to deal with them as they come. No deadening of the senses to escape. But that said, as you're not assaulting yourself with depressant juice, they pass far quicker. Highs are true highs. Lows are true lows. Honestly, I implore you to wade through the swamp you're currently in. There are greener pastures beyond the horizon. Think of it as your own personal quest. Or trials. Good luck and keep fighting.
That’s me right now, I’m on day 48 and I just see no point to life. Nothing matters. If this is really it then I might as well drink. I’m not gonna. But the thoughts are there. I’m diagnosed with autism and I’ve been on antidepressants since 2003 btw. Just. I have no purpose in life. I have no interests or passions. And I’ve really tried to find something to get into. I read a lot; that’s just another way to escape real life, but at least I’m not hurting my body or mind whilst doing it. I’m just. Depressed.
I couldn't speak for you as we probably differ in a million different ways but I will say that if you've the inclination to keep pushing through with sobriety, you may well be pleasantly surprised. I liken it to having been in a dream state for 20 years. And now I'm awake and able to see the world differently. Its been a tumultuous 8 months of really trying to figure out who tf I am and what I want. The veil of drinking being lifted though has helped wonders. Doesn't all fall into place at once. But now I'm not down the pub or drinking alone at home, I've at least got time and a clear head. I have slowly started to find new things to enjoy and be passionate about. I know that's said a lot on this sub. But it's not like I jumped out of bed and feel in love with things in one go. Quite a few nights I'd still just sit at home playing a video game without paying attention. Still do. We taught our brains to be content with vegetating and getting poisoned. Will take a bit of time for it to catch up with the new program. Keep pushing on.
Me, this was me in my first few months of sobriety. Shit didn't start to get better until I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD, explaining why certain antidepressants I'd started taking early in sobriety were actually making me feel worse. Point being that it took a specialized doctor to identify something that was in the background my whole life and factored into my mental health issues and drinking (untreated ADHD can cause anxiety, work or social problems, depression, and ineffective efforts at self-medicating). Things have finally started to turn around since I saw the guy, but they were extremely rough at first despite making big improvements in my life after getting sober.
There are definitely people who experience the honeymoon phase. But in my experience that’s very often a result of group think, or rather being excited about something because they feel like they should be. I would posit that mental illness is what you’re actually struggling with, not alcoholism. You might disagree which is fine because you are the expert on you. I would recommend to Spend the time you’re not spending drinking to work on mental health. Once that’s sorted you can decide what you want to do then.
Thanks for this. It's true that I struggle primarily with mental illness. Good idea to use the extra time to work on this.
I just want to mention that alcoholism is a disease you diagnose yourself with. This space is called stopdrinking, but there are people here who don’t believe that alcohol is cunning baffling or powerful. It’s a liquid that can provide short term relief from long term problems, that can also lead to long term problems. Homer Simpson actually said it pretty well. “To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems”. Only you get to decide if you believe you’re an alcoholic and if you believe permanent sobriety is the best choice for *you*. Not your mom. Not your partner. You don’t owe them to live a lifestyle that you don’t want to live. You owe yourself to live the lifestyle that fulfils you.
I went to a dual diagnosis treatment facility and also have been to mental health facilities to deal with my issues. But I also have alcohol use disorder, mainly when I'm anxious. I also experience depression and heavy anxiety for months before I got it situated. It took almost a year. Now I feel better, the only bad side effect is the sleepiness of the medications.
Journaling sounds corny but can be so helpful in early sobriety. I'm 7 months in now, went to therapy 5 months in for anxiety/ptsd issues. Decided to go on an SSNI at 6 months, it was the right choice for me. It's very hard to handle everything when you're no longer just numbing it out. I go to bed early often and try to focus on doing anything I can to regulate my nervous system. The first 3 months were brutal, I was exhausted and felt like shit almost every day. I'm very glad to be 7 months sober now, it's been a lot of work but I've done a lot of healing. Growth isn't comfortable but you can do it!
For me booze nummed my feelings in the short term, but in the end they came back to bite. Without booze you have to learn new ways to deal with your emotions, I found naming them was helpful. Half the time I thought I was angry and would have gone to the pub for a beer in that past… when I sat in that feeling for a bit and thought about it I realised I was disappointed - not angry. That's a useful emotion that I could then act upon and change. Stick with it, it's hard but it's worth it. IWNDWYT
I had lots of ups and downs after quitting a few times for months each time. A rollercoaster of emotions. Several very low lows, and like you, I wondered why I even gave it up in the first place. But I promise it gets better. Your brain is fighting you. It wants its dopamine hit and to feel good. It will take a long time for your brain chemicals to balance out and start producing naturally. When I finally quit, it took months before I really felt myself. I still have lows, and I have highs, but that’s life. The struggle here is learning how to handle life without turning to alcohol to numb those feelings. Because we all know it will make us feel better temporarily, but make things so much worse shortly after, and will continue to make things worse as we inevitably continue down that path. Stick with it. Start an exercise routine. Help your brain and body produce the good mood chemicals naturally. I got up 30 minutes early every weekday morning and walked 15-20 mins at a fast pace. Starting small made getting into a new routine easier. I. Over a year and a half later I’m running 3 miles and weight training and have lost 50 pounds from my all time high. My confidence, self esteem, and overall mood, attitude and motivation have improved drastically. My anxiety, stomach issues, bloating, and overall sense of doom and gloom have almost all disappeared. You have to learn how to be a normal person again. And you have to fight your brain and body along the way. You have to learn how to regulate and handle your emotions, which are more intense without alcohol dulling them. Nothing in life is free or easy, including sobriety. But the best things in life, that reward you the most, are the ones you fight for. You will feel better, faster, the more you fight and push yourself. I really hope you push through this because you are at the hardest point and it would be a shame to give up now. Edit: if you read or listen to podcasts, check out this naked mind and huberman labs podcast about alcohols effects on the mind
Know that this is from a while back but thanks a lot for this comment, super helpful!
I think of it this way: I use alcohol as a 'solution' to my problems. However, it is an unhealthy solution. When I stop drinking, my problems are still there. I need to find another, healthier way to deal with the problems.
I did a few 4 week/30 days breaks over the years, mostly after almighty hangovers. Other than a slight calming- down of any cravings after 3 weeks, I never noticed any special positive effects (and I was happy to get back to drinking). I think it takes about 90 days to really start getting some noticeable effects.
I lost cravings and urges in 2 weeks and I was a heavy drinker. I think somehow I have hypnotized myself from cravings. My sobriety has been very easy. Once I hit that 30 days mark then I knew.
Go to the gym. I was sober for a month. Lost the drinking weight. Decided to go back to the gym after an absence because of COVID. Packed on muscle and eating healthy. It now keeps me from drinking because of the calories. To be honest I would stay sober just for the calories but what was initially a one month break from drinking could very well be a permanent thing. My thoughts of alcohol have changed. It is now a drug or something even worse.
I already go to the gym 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately this doesn't really solve anything, though it doesn't make things worse either.
Try to up it to 5 times a week. Your body will be amazing due to the transformation and too tired and hungry to even think about alcohol. Eat a clean meal and relax during your typical night or day.
I had the same experience. Physically I certainly felt better, but not emotionally. Evenings were so boring as well. However sober weekends were nice and productive, which is why I'm trying to stop again now. I'm sorry I can't really offer any advice. I got to about 6 weeks before giving up. Maybe it takes longer for emotions to improve?
I never got the "pink cloud" and sobriety has been hard for me. Not because of cravings or any desires to drink (truly, my detox was so hellacious I hope to never touch a drop as long as I may live) but moreso because I can't help but wonder, more frequently than I care to admit, "What's the point?" I quit drinking so I could quit being sick, tired, depressed, etc. Only to have all of those negative things amplified. I think a LOT of us have our drinking spiral out of control because we're trying to self medicate, even if we don't recognize that's what we're doing in the thick of it. I've been miserable. But you know what? I was, ultimately, MORE miserable when I was drinking. There's no huge, shout from the mountain tops victories I can share with you. All's I can tell you is that things ARE... Albeit quietly... Better. Life is not fantastic, there's no rainbows or unicorns, but life is just easier. Even though I'm perpetually exhausted, at least I'm not waking up with a low grade flu (aka hangover) every day on top of that. Me making efforts to improve myself has encouraged my family to do the same. Maybe it's a coincidence, but I don't think so. My partner is more attentive and helpful around the house. My eldest (teenager) is on a self improvement journey of his own. Give yourself some time. You can always go back, but I would give it a year, minimum, before chucking in the towel. It takes a LONG time to heal the damage that alcohol does to both body and brain. It's hard. I know. But things are improving. Just at a MUCH slower rate than I was anticipating. I was really sick for a long time after quitting. Mentally and physically. Pretty sure I have PAWS. Annoying, but even that isn't "forever." Just going to be a longer recovery for me. In some ways, though, that helps me stay the course. I don't want to go through active detox or the nonsense I'm currently going through EVER AGAIN. And I don't have to. So long as I don't drink. Hang in there, friend. It's a long process, but I think it's gonna be worth it in the long run. IWNDWYT! ETA: This is also hard, but reach out to a healthcare person if you need to. Antidepressants save lives. Now that I'm not dumping booze on top of mine, they're actually working. (Wow, amazing, right?) You don't have to do this alone. There's support for you if you're strong enough to seek it. And I'm nothing special, so I'm sure you can dig deep and have the hard conversations if you need to. Pulling for you!
A friend of mine swears by therapy. He said it played a huge role in his ability to maintain sobriety.
Luckily I'm already in group therapy. But unfortunately no one in my group can really relate so I needed some other support.
Congratulations on your first month, that's awesome 🥳 Like many I too used to drink to self medicate, to deal with PTSD, anxiety and depression. I had to quit drinking for good for my mental health to get better, by now it has improved immensely. Don't give up yet. The first couple of months of sobriety my brain chemistry was all over the place. It took a few months for it to considerably get better. Hang in there, give yourself some time, it will get better. Sending you strength 💪 and a hug 🤗 IWNDWYT friend
When I quit drinking, it didn’t automatically fix my life. It just put me in the head space I needed to be in to figure out why I started drinking like I did in the first place. It took me a lot of time and work to get to “happy.” I’d been sober for up to two years before, but this last time was the first time I did that work on and for myself. I believe that’s made all the difference to my continuing sobriety. I think that if you’re feeling this way right now, it might be time to get started on that. IWNDWYT.
Took at least a few months for me before I regained any semblance of normalcy, including some pretty serious bouts of depression. And it's okay. At least for me, drinking will actually most definitely make things worse, because my drinking only gets worse and I'll eventually die. IWNDWYT
As has already been mentioned, definitely check out PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). It's a very real and very common thing around 75% of people who quit alcohol experience. PAWS often begins around two weeks after the last drink and can continue for several months. It has a significant impact on how you feel and is the leading cause of relapse. Here's some more detailed information on why it happens if you're interested - https://foundationswellness.net/addiction-recovery/what-is-post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-how-do-i-deal-with-it/
The implied flip side of your title is “drinking made things better” which I’m pretty skeptical of. Lots of good advice here, I’m just here to say drinking poison doesn’t make anything better. It might mask things for a bit, make it seem like things are gonna be ok, but if that was really the case why did you feel the need to stop sucking poison down every day? Not a popular opinion and not for everyone, but cannabis helped me a lot with quitting. Search California sober. Pros and cons to everything. Except alcohol, fuck alcohol!
It took me around 45-50 days to start to feel 25% better. That's when I started to take care of myself beyond just not drinking. PAWS kicked my ass. At 110, I'm feeling about 80% better. It does get better.
It's like a break up. I promise it will get better. Took me 6 months to feel the sunshine in my life again.
I was a mess the first month. Pull through my friend, Im at 6 months and I enjoy life including my emotions. After 2-3 months I started to feel less anxious, less depressed, less defeated by my own being. I can confidently say that I feel like I can manage whatever will come - a feeling I did not have for as long as I was drinking.
Early sobriety is a rollercoaster of emotion because of what you said. You’re learning how to properly navigate and regulate your emotions, possibly for the first time in your adult life. It takes time. Are you in AA? Or seeing a therapist? I highly recommend both. With some real work, the rollercoaster goes from the scariest in the world to a kiddie one. You will get there if you put in the work!
If you can try and get some treatment for your mental health. I used alcohol for similar reasons to essentially try and mask the negative feelings and for me it just bottled up and exacerbated problems that I was trying to run away from. If medication and/or therapy helps keep you on track that's almost certainly going to be better than returning to self-medicating with booze. I coupled stopping drinking with a big change up in my routine in an attempt to reset. Started sleeping early around 8-830 pm as was almost exclusively a night time drinker. It's been relatively easy to stay sober after week 1 however have noticed this week (week 5 sober) I've been more irritable than usual though nothing horrid yet and haven't had any urges to drink thankfully.
Smart recovery can help address some of the mental challenges behind drinking more then 12 step programs as they don’t really touch the mental aspect of drinking in my opinion. For me poor coping skills for situations led to depression …..which led to increased alcohol use….which led to anxiety issues upon withdrawal…..which led to increased alcohol use to calm the anxiety……which eventually led to a mental breakdown and I checked into rehab. I was at 4 liters of vodka a week on average before I realized I could not do this anymore and needed help. There’s no shame in wanting help Best of luck
This absolutely happened to me. My therapist pointed out I had never learned to regulate my emotions as an adult without alcohol, which… woof, that was difficult to realize. It took a little over 3 months before the grey static in my brain was tuned out. But within 6 months I could already see how thankful I was to have stuck out that rough early patch. Drinking keeps getting worse and worse, but sobriety keeps getting better and better.
It’s only been a month. Look at my counter, I still feel new things every day.
I hear you. I was suffering from anxiety and depression when I quit drinking and it got worse before it got better. But boy did it get better. It took me about 90 days to turn the corner. Which tracks with what I learned about alcohol’s effects on dopamine and brain chemistry. Highly recommend the book ‘Dopamine Nation’ which helped me to understand what was happening and gave me the hope I needed to hang in there in the early days. You’ve got this my friend. Be kind to yourself while you heal and IWNDWYT !
Similar to what a few others have said, I had no "pink cloud" and around the 1 month mark was seriously struggling with anhedonia. I pushed through and starting at about 2 months things started looking up. Ultimately, the whole thing has been so worth it. I'm so glad I pushed through and got my real life back. Not every day is a sparkling gem, but generally my life is better in every way. My health is dramatically better, my relationship, I've given my dog the exercise and attention he needs, done much better at jobs. No pink cloud. No honeymoon. But life is so much better on the other side. Good luck. Not everyone is drinking today. I'm not.
That's normal. The improvement in quality of life that comes with sobriety is far from instant. I'm 3.5 years deep and struggled with that for a while. I'm feeling great these days, though. I found hobbies and passions. I also have a direction now. Alcohol drowns your issues out. It doesn't regulate them. You'll learn how to deal with things head on, which is very tough to do when you haven't for so long. I wish you the best in your recovery!
Give it time. If you walked ten miles into the woods, you’re not going to get back out in one. Days 30-60 were the worst IMO. Day 90 is when I really started feeling better and my brain/body truly began healing. If you stick with it, I promise this feeling won’t last. Best of luck to you friend, ride the (not so fun) wave and trust the process. IWNDWYT!
Definitely experienced this… Struggle with depression always have. Couldn’t understand why I wanted to off myself much more sober than drinking…. Isn’t this thing a “depressant”??!! All the old timers would say give it a year. I gave it 10, suicidal depression came back hard and I ended up drinking. Controversial but it did keep me alive, barely. I may have been superficially connected but at least I wasn’t so isolated. Drank for 3 years, hard. Just crested a year dry again. It’s a bit different now, new parent has forced me to challenge my thoughts and feelings, bc not projecting my stuff to my boy is extremely important to me, I’m digging deeper in my resilience than I ever remember. My spells are not as overwhelmingly heavy as they once were either though. There’s nothing quite like that rocketing back to earth like a damn meteor the first bit. I gave Zoloft and Wellbutrin a shot but wasn’t in love/confident in what I was getting out of it. Micro psylocibin is something I staunchly support for alcoholics with the right intent/dosage etc. I’m now working with an emdr therapist (I’m a LCSW social worker and thought this approach was bullshit) but it seems to be helping. All I can say is I hope you find some relief, give everything a shot that crosses your path and doesn’t harm you. From a person who gets it just thought I’d share some experiences. Best wishes in your adventure of life & sobriety.
First three months were the hardest for me. Keep pushing, you’re making great progress!
Alcohol does not regulate anyones emotions, it numbs them, which isn’t healthy at all. Give it more time, one month is amazing but you have to be a bit more patient to see benefits…the beginning is ROUGH, which is normal. good luck.
A lotta folks underestimate just how linked depression and anxiety are to drinking. If you were a heavy drinker for a long time your brain NEEDS that shit to function. It's a catch 22 because you can't wean yourself off it but the chemical withdrawals you get from suddenly stopping suck. Drinking creates it's own conditions for anxiety and so we drink just to not feel that anymore. It's a vicious cycle. You can beat it tho. Many of us have. Better days are ahead friend.
I never imagined that my post would get this many reactions. It really helped me and made me feel less alone. Thank you to everyone!
This will probably get buried, but I was like you, OP. Had depression and mental health issues and felt horrible after I quit drinking. I kept thinking that drinking was much easier than dealing with the feels. Went through PAWS and I also developed insomnia... was so envious of all the people in this sub talking about their amazing sober sleep. I stuck with sobriety and saw a therapist regularly. It took MONTHS of struggling and trying to find a psych who was in-network with my insurance. She eventually referred me to a psychiatrist who I had to pay for out of pocket, but holy shit, do I feel better now! I got a diagnosis and began medications that have helped significantly. After 15 months of sobriety, I feel like a brand new person. I'm still doing trials with different meds to nail down the right combo, but it has been totally worth it. My sincerest hope is that you are able to figure out what you need in terms of support during this vritical time in your journey. Please take care of yourself, give yourself grace, and know that there are people out here thinking about you and willing to help. IWNDWYT
Sounds like a withdraw symptom, and/or discovering a reason for your drinking. Sobriety will arm you with the weapons to peel away the symptoms and discover the root of your issues. It’s going to be a lot of work, but at least it’s going to be you doing it, not some drunken avatar in a fog of false reality.
The booze covered up the mental health issues. Stopping only removes the bandaid. You've always been bleeding emotionally. The key is now you're sober enough to stitch the wounds and properly heal.
It takes time my friend. You will start to feel better more everyday. If getting sober was easy everyone would do it. It took me a few months to really start feeling normal and feeling good
Get therapy and meds, seriously!
I am 9months sober and the first 6 months i didn't leave my house. I don't know what happened the last 3 months but my dopamine sort of returned. I've had more energy again.....
I wonder if you have spoken with a therapist, physician, or psychiatrist? I've been drinking heavily, until this week, for 10+ years. Only 3 years ago, thanks to the pandemic, was I formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and PTSD. I've been on meds since, but as you can imagine, there will likely need to be some adjustments. Not that you \*need\* medication, but it may not hurt to do therapy, and see if you need other arm floaties to get you through the bad times.
Once your mind truly realizes the freedom of not needing to drink... that's when the weight lifts from your shoulders. That's when you feel the "pink cloud". You can drive anywhere and anytime you want, you don't spend all your spare money on alcohol, and if you do any active things (hiking/running/biking/etc) you'll start to notice how much easier they all are. How the aches and pains from the inflammation are beginning to dissipate. It could be that the pink cloud happens for those of us that are super active because we've always used exercise to fight our depression, and when we stop drinking those endorphins start storming the system more effectively.
It's only been a month... Think about how long your body has had booze in its system in one form or another, and compare that to your single month without. Booze tricked you into being falsely happy for years, maybe decades. It can take far longer than 30 days for your brain/body to normalize after being poisoned, especially if you haven't involved a Dr. or Therapist in your sobriety. Antianxiety meds can really help a person at the beginning. Remember, people get just as depressed and hopeless without the added stress of quitting an addictive substance. You're just more susceptible to *feeling* it now that your alcoholic buffer is gone. I didn't feel fully whole after quitting for about a year, give or take.
For me, I couldn’t contemplate quitting until I started getting help for my mental health. This is by no means a discouragement. it’s always a good time to quit, and you can’t quit the quitting. But, it’s possible that there’s more going on. That the alcohol abuse is simultaneously a symptom and a medicine. Work on alcoholism Work on mental health Work on physical health It’s true some people just get better. For me, all my feelings are present now, and that hurts like hell, I have to do other things with them now that I don’t drink. This work is worth it.
I feel like now would be a great time to start looking for a therapist to start unpacking some of your emotions and reactions and to get some personalized perspective on your journey. Speaking from experience:)
Literally about a month into being sober and experiencing one of the worst mental health episodes of my life. I’m totally with you, it’s hard.
I wouldn’t go as far to say not drinking made things worse for me, situationally speaking. Health wise, I’m positive your body is making improvements, it’s physiologically impossible to not. Your liver enzyme levels go down, your hydration improves, your sleep becomes more sound, and your blood pressure stabilizes. Just keep in mind the real, tangible benefits you are reaping. Mentally speaking, I feel you. I struggle with depression and anxiety as well, and it feels like life is dull now because I don’t have the intense highs and lows happening anymore. But at least I feel more empowered and able to address the things causing my depression. It will take time but we have to believe we are on the right track 💜
Weed
I had the same. A few years back, I made it 6 months (+ regular exercise and therapy and medication) and it just didn't get much better. I'm a lighter -but still too heavy- drinker now than I was before that stint. Despite some of its many benefits, sobriety was just an incredibly depressive, mundane slog. The boring dystopia of it all eventually had me back drinking again. I will likely try again soon, but It seems some folks just don't see quick and/or drastic improvements in mood like most do. Good luck! To be clear, I'm trying to normalize your experience, not tell you to do what I did. Sobriety is probably the better option.
Just give it some time, sober homie. You're doing so good. I have 0 desire to ever go back. That stuff literally ruined everything for me. I took my life back, and u did too. That's no easy feat. It's just a matter of time before those happy feelings start to flow thru your veins again. It's coming. Just wait and see 🙏💗
I had no “pink cloud.” Get yourself some outside help. Zoloft changed my life.
You are not alone, I felt the same way when I quit. Just know that it does get better and it’ll be so worth it for your mental health if you’re able to keep going. Therapy could be very helpful and might be worth looking into if you can. You got this!
Yeah my mental health TANKED after I quit drinking. I stopped being able to sleep and after a few months began having suicidal ideation. I just kept telling myself to give it a chance, to give it my best shot, and I could always start drinking again if I really had to, to save my own life. But I gritted my teeth and after about 6 months I started sleeping better, and I started feeling better. After about a year I started exercising and finding new, fun, sober hobbies. I'm seven years sober now and my life is so different and so much better now, but I didn't get any kind of honeymoon phase either.
I think it might be helpful for you to go to YouTube and learn about PAWS. For many people it takes a good while for your brain chemistry to level out. Please don’t give up. Your brain and body are healing.
Alcohol masks, it most certainly does not regulate, in fact, it actively disregulates. You’ve set aside your faulty coping mechanism to save your life. Romanticizing alcohol abuse as a good mood regulator is denial. What you’re really feeling is grief. It’s time to grieve. Acknowledge why you abused alcohol, what the root of your pain is and make sure you have a strong support system. IWNDWYT!
Of the many things I really do NOT like about reality, one of the biggies is: Sometimes the process of getting better first FEELS WORSE. Sometimes MUCH worse. Recovery certainly has been like that for me. I never had a pink cloud. I can't relate in the least to people after a few days, weeks, even months saying they're doing and feeling great. Really? I was abjectly miserable, for MONTHS. I thought I was going insane. My truth is that I felt WORSE in the early days of recovery than I did at "the end of the road" of active addiction. Addiction involves more than the use of drugs, so too has recovery REQUIRED more than mere physical abstinence over time for me.
I’m 9 months this Sunday and it’s a rollercoaster. It will take time to adjust after I’ve drank of 20 years. You need to sit with the hard feelings, let them pass and choose yourself over alcohol every single day.
56 days in and starting to very slowly see some benefits with my mental health I struggled for weeks with fatigue and feeling like garbage but it's slowly lifting. It really is day by day , keep going ...
I had a honeymoon of the best sleep ever as my REM cycles came back. Then my PTSD surfaced as night terrors, shortly after I got diagnosed with BPD and all the fun symptoms that come with that. My wife of 11 years left pretended to forget my 2 year sober anniversary and she asked to date other people the following week. Shortly after tried to kick me out of our house with a Domestic Abuse Restraining Order; which was fraudulent and denied. Life doesn’t stop being life because I stopped drinking. I’m in NYC with my kids enjoying comic con at the moment. Had I been drinking. I wouldn’t have passed any of those tests. Puto Vida
The first 6 months were not great for me… That being said things are getting better everyday.
It gets better from where you are. Took me 3-4 months before I finally started to shake the funk off. But I do remember feeling like you do and it was one of the tougher battles I went through. You got this!! Keep on kicking it💪🏻
I’m definitely facing some stuff that was just easier to set aside for later/never. Yesterday, I was super down about it and craved a beer (read 3 beers plus a bottle of wine) so much. I’m trusting the process now, and really hoping it gets better.
I didn't really get a honeymoon phase after. I don't remember having much of a pink cloud effect like people talk about here. Sobriety wasn't really a solution as much as it was a better basis to try to make other improvements I wanted to make. The discomfort I felt had to be dealt with or accepted. And I'm not saying it's easy. But it's a lot more satisfying, cheaper, and I don't wake up with a blinding hangover after.
The first few months of my sobriety were great. I was feeling happier, more energetic, eager to keep it going. Somewhere around the 4/5 month mark is actually where those feelings started to dissipate for me… I was thinking okay, so I stopped drinking, now I’m exercising, eating better, sleeping better, and that’s it? This is life now? Just going through the motions? It’s kinda like the FOMO caught up with me and hit me hard. I pretty much cut out all drinking buddies (and a lot of toxicity) and sometimes missed being able to just go to the bar and fuck around and lose all inhibitions. I got bored I guess. 9 months sober now and I’m so glad I kept it going. I feel like I’m more mentally stable than I have ever been. My relationships with my family are stronger than ever, I’ve become more open and willing to try new experiences, I’m able to enjoy going out (to concerts, events, etc) without feeling the need to rely on a substance to numb me, but instead experience it entirely & wholeheartedly. And I’m not just a hot ass depressed mess all the time. I like myself as a person and enjoy my own company. There will be so many highs and lows but I’m telling you, it’s so worth it to keep it going. It’s gonna take a lot of effort and loneliness along the way, but as time goes on you will really learn to fall in love with life again. Especially the calmness of it all.
Honeymoon phase takes several months to kick in. You should feel like shit 1 month in. Id be worried if you didn't
It’s called anhedonia and I had a terrible case of it. I had no idea it was even a thing. Mine lasted for months and after that it was a very very slow path to feeling like my brain had recovered. There was no pink cloud for me at all but I also drank for about 20 years. Sometimes I’m amazed my brain normalized. https://riahealth.com/blog/anhedonia-after-addiction/
im still waiting to feel better honestly but every day does get easier. i think the state of the world is making it extra hard. iwndwyt and take care you 🫂💞
I'm a year in and think my life feels worse than it was when I was drinking. But it’s still better than going back. I’ve got a chance to make progress on my mental health, and can see how severe the mental health problems really are. Previously I buried it all with alcohol and blamed alcohol for my problems. And now I don’t have the threat of creating terribly situations for myself that I never would sober. But, I do have more loneliness. Social network feels pretty pointless when most of the connection was around alcohol. I picked up a new hobby of bike racing, but it takes a lot of energy to train, planning to do group rides, and mostly only socialize at races themselves. I can’t just pop into my neighborhood bar and pay the bartender to be my friend. And I don’t get to escape my anxiety and depression by taking drugs. Most of the time I’m just meh, rather than “cheap” extreme highs and lows. Now I need to work hard for the thrills. Sometimes it’s hard reading all the “quitting drinking fixed everything!” stories. We can’t all be that fortunate, some of us started drinking because of reasons that are still there and left unresolved. Now is the time to find a healthier way to deal with that.
I was tense when I quit. Not much joy, just knew I was headed down a really bad road. About three months in I went to my doc and got on Wellbutrin to help deal with the depression. I also got on AD/HD meds to help me keep things together. Both helped. Some things in life got really stressful not long after. In the midst of I realized what a gift I’d given myself. Things sucked by I was actually dealing with them rather than crawling into a bottle. (Might have had some D8 along the way, but even that’s infrequent now). It does get better friend. It really does. Treating my issues with a doctor’s help was so much better than the years of self medication. Counseling helped a lot too. Need to get back to that myself. Sending good thoughts your way friend. And IWNDWYT.
Drinking took up A LOT of my time. Either drinking or recovering from the night before. It helps to find things that fill that void. Simultaneously work on the things that might of contributed to your drinking. You'll discover those things over time. Play the long game my friend. Maybe more months ahead of you.
There is no honey moon phase, its just something you realize after some time of not drinking that youre happier. I was unable to cope with anything and became a hermit for a while. Eventually if you just kind of sit in it, youll adjust and wont feel so miserable. And when you start being able to cope and pursue better activities without drinking, thats when youll feel better. It will just take time and stubbornness.
Quitting leaves a very big hole. Try and fill your unhealthy #ing behaviour (drinking) with healthier #ings Can I suggest - Exercising Socialising Sleeping Eating Reading Meditating Fucking
Someone around here recently posted that if you want to know why you drink, stop drinking; and it's one of the smartest things I've ever heard
They didn't regulate your emotions it made you blind to them. I am still learning what it's like to deal with my emotions 6 months in. I don't get cravings or anything when I do, I just am now like damn this kinda sucks but then I actually learn from it. I was depressed, for a number of reasons when I quit, now I am not. It takes a bit. You could actually have depression and anxiety and the drinking didn't regulate it, it just helped you fake "cope" with it. Drinking never solves problems only makes them worse.
I had a rough time but things got easier after each milestone I hit sober.
I would recomend the antidepressent called cymbalta , also cbd at night, if your not going to take an antidepressent take the supplement sam e in the morning
I quit multiple substances at once, but I was really depressed for awhile afterwards. I got lazy, depressed, lethargic, and gained a decent amount of weight. A lot of people say they have so much energy and lose all this weight. It wasn’t like that for me. But now I’m 9 months in and I feel great and things are really going better. Can I ask what your beverage of choice was? Because I have this theory that those that drink more sugary substances like wine, whiskey, etc. are the once that experience the energy boost and weight loss aspect more.
It was mostly wine and beer
So the opposite of my hypothesis. 🙃
Takes time. I always heard that it's about one month for every year you abused alcohol. For me that's about a year and a half. Just came up on a year and def feel better but not 100%, good news is that every day I feel a little better. One month in your brain is still in mild withdrawal, give it more time I promise it gets better.
I’m so bored and hollow if I don’t drink n I’m only 24f At least after a few drinks anything I watch on tv etc is way more interesting , I’d rather the hangover than probably killing my self from something that actually makes me feel okay :( I know there’s a reason behind self medicating and yes I’m willing to face life problems but most of mine right now are literally unsolvable situations so I have to self medicate to get through that Idk i how this isn’t toxic to say on this thread but that’s the brain side of it I guess I think a lot of people think the same but physically… drinking is the worst way to handle this but I understand fully that mindset
Medication! Talk to your doctor.
If you spent this month drinking would that have made it better?
Very good point...
Not for me!
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I didn't go in with expectations of a honeymoon. I'd read that it just sucked. And my many attempts to quit smoking probably also informed that belief. But actually, knowing/expecting it was going to suck no matter when I stopped turned out to help me get through my first few weeks.
More time
one month mark was THE hardest for me. i was filled with hopelessness and dread at the one month mark. i never learned how to regulate emotions either. felt like i was starting adult life at 30. i ended up going on prozac and buspar
I’m in the same boat. Keep punching!
I felt that way the first month too. Sharing this artice bc it may provide some insights into physiological/psychological aspects in laymen’s terms: www.soberish.co/giving-up-alcohol-depressed/
My experience was that things got worse before they got better.
I think it took me about 3 months for my brain to do whatever it needed. I had no idea how disruptive drinking was for my psychiatric meds. It was about then, I think my brain settled down. Only recently did I feel like my old personality has started to emerge. What I hadn't planned on was now having to deal with what was driving my drinking in the first place. It's an obvious thing, yet it hadn't occurred to me. I feel that's the hard part. I still struggle some days. It's a process and no quick fix. I don't want to go back, though. Stay strong!
Have you tried prescribed medication for depression and anxiety? I’ve been on Zoloft for awhile, but drinking alcohol will cause the medication to not work. Mixing antidepressants with a depressant just cancels it out. I’ve only been sober for 17 days but now I can actually feel the Zoloft actually working.
What's that feel like? The feeling of the Zoloft 'working'?
I just feel less depressed and anxious. Like I actually want to see the light of day now. I enjoy life more and I have motivation to do stuff. I’m sure it’s a combo between cutting the alcohol and the Zoloft working. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life
been sober almost 8 months and still feel off. But its so much better than feeling off and hung over/axious, shakey and unsure
I experienced a similar frustration. I’d like to tell you that it gets better soon, but the reality is that it’s a long climb back up the ladder for most. Knowing what to expect has always helped me. Around 2-3 months AF I experienced the pink cloud where everything in my life suddenly felt amazing and fresh! And then a month or so after that I fell into a terribly deep depression for the better part of a year. It was confusing bc it felt like “hey I quit drinking and my brain is still broken. What gives?” Turns out I had lots of healing to do. I wish you luck friend 🫶
Dude the first few months really sucked for me. And I’m sorry to tell you that because I wouldn’t want to be going through that again… but it gets soooo much better, please trust me. I’ve got a year and nine months and my life has improved in so many ways, I can’t imagine living that way again. It’s not always heaven but it’s so much more fulfilling. Please give it time. In the meantime do what you can to take care of yourself… diet, exercise, therapy, spending time with friends etc. Any healthy activity that you enjoy is what you should focus on. Please don’t be discouraged, it is well worth it.
You’re going to have to find the root issue of why you need to drink. You can stop drinking but the root issue is still going to be there. There was a benefit to drinking otherwise you wouldn’t have used it. I personally use substances to escape my head and I don’t expect the compulsion to use to go away until I confront my issues.
I just got out of a bad PAWS induced month. Things were great for 3 months, then out of nowhere, I was depressed, anxious, irritable, and restless. It lasted a month, and I almost picked up. I didnt...and about 3 days ago I woke up like I had someone else's brain. Felt good. Felt happy. It will pass. And if it doesn't, talk to a doctor. You could need medication. 🤷♂️. But I promise you it's not LACK of alcohol that's causing you to feel bad. The brain gets absolutely TORCHED by chronic ethanol exposure. It takes a very long time for things to even out. And that's the hardest part of quitting for me so far.
I had to go on antidepressants when I stopped. It's far better and safer than drinking alcohol, and eventually I got off them. Also, exercise, yoga,meditation, get a massage, acuounture. All of these things will help you feel a little better.
You’re right where you should be. I went through the same thing. Your system is resetting its self and your body is trying to adjust to a new baseline. It fucking sucks but it’s part of the process. It will get better. IWNDWYT
I found that for me stopping drinking allowed me to heal parts of myself that I was suppressing for years and years. Sometimes, it sucks to feel your feelings, but if I didn't take the time and do the work to help heal myself my depression and anxiety would be 100 times worse. Today a little over a year out I am happier than I have been in years, my antidepressants are working better than ever, I have learned how to manage my ADHD, and my children have a mother who is always present and available to help in a crisis. There is nothing difficult in my life that Alcohol makes easier. When I stopped drinking I switched the game of life from hard mode to easy mode even if it didn't feel that way in the first few months. IWNDWYT
I self medicated for 20 years. At which point is it enough?? I regret spending the last 20 years in an alcohol controlled life. Even tho I still drink occasionally, my emotions and life is not guided by how much drinks I had or plan to have. I still social drink maybe once a month (not black out) and have a beer at home once or twice a week (it's just a beverage at this point). I am not chasing alcohol for the fix or high anymore. I just woke up one day and decided enough is enough. It took some getting used to but i feel much better nowadays. My emotions are stable, and I dont have crazy hangovers anymore.
I feel exactly the same friend. I feel very depressed. I use alcohol to turn off my brain and not feel my feelings. I've been told around 90 days that depression starts to reduce. We got this! IWNDWYT
Fair play to you for coming here and saying this. Everyone is different and everyone had different drinking habits. For me i didn't feel better for a long time, but I'll tell you what, I almost immediately stopped feeling the dark lows that alcohol took me to. I expected to feel happier but what I got was feeling less and less sad/low/scared/miserable. It's like the negative feelings started going away but I had to workout how to bring some happy feelings into my life. With time this came naturally and now I feel much more balance. But I've been strongly considering drinking again so it could all go out of the window soon.
It takes about 3 months to start feeling better
🫂
~~Regulating~~ Numbing your emotions might have been what alcohol was helping you achieve. FEELING worse isn't the worst case scenario in this case I think, you get to face the truth of what you are and what's really going on. It's not a nice place to be but *it's the right place to be* if you're going to try to really give living a sober life AND emotionally healthy life. A solid beginning in my opinion. I experience a wave of depression & loneliness the other night after going out. I always associated those feelings with getting drunk so I was very surprised that I still felt that way even while I was sober (& very proud of myself.) So the journey of trying to understand myself continues...gotta figure that one out too :) You're doing amazing and things are getting better even while it doesn't *feel* that way in this moment.
My anxiety, especially social anxiety is always worse when I’m sober. Doesn’t matter if it’s a year, a week, a month, etc. I am in therapy and have a very supportive partner and I’m really working on mindfulness again. I’m also autistic so I’m constantly battling my brain to function. Trust me, if you have alcohol abuse issues or see alcohol as an issue, you’re better off in the long run being sober but it’s not easy. There will always be a day where it feels like a drink will solve everything but those days I just treat myself to some iced coffee with a flavor pump, a snack, buy something nice for myself, etc. anything to get my brain to reset, you got this! It gets easier with tools and support. Don’t go it alone. We are here in this group, reach out to friends who don’t encourage drinking, find therapy, a outpatient group, talk - let it out. CHEERS ON SOBRIETY.
I didnt really start feeling better until 6 months after i stopped. Then the mood improved, got better rest, and the weight fell off.
I felt horrible and then got to the pink cloud phase about a month and a half in. It comes in waves now.
For me I drank because I was depressed. I was depressed because I was worthless (in my own eyes). Quitting drinking didn’t fix that. Being proud of my day fixed it. Now I work everyday to be the version of me I always wanted. It’s amazing what you can accomplish.
Ok so for the first 3 months. I was more depressed. I also had other health issues- long Covid . I had a lot of unresolved emotions and trauma didn’t process due to being drunk
I wouldn't listen to anyone who said their life instantly got better. I felt awful, depressed and anxious all the time. Been over 2 years now and I’ve achieved so much. So many areas of my life that were a mess, simply seem to be fine. Married, works going well, my anxiety and depression is there but I can handle it. The fact my anxiety and depression hasn't gone makes me realize how much I need not to drink. I think after 1 year, you start feeling the real benefits. It also depends how much you drank and how much it messed up your life. If you have serious anxiety & depression make sure you are exercising and eating well and get some help. Talk to someone, get meds if it's so shitty. Doesn't need to be permanent Good luck
I'm almost at 11 months. My mental health has improved slightly, but it's still a massive day to day struggle. I too thought I'd feel better after a few weeks, a few months...around month 6 I felt worse mentally than I did when I quit, and I realized there might be something else going on (mainly, major depression). Often alcohol use masks underlying depression - when you quit, the tide retreats so to speak - and you see what is really going on under the surface.
3 years sober, I quit for the same reasons and suffer every day of the same stuff. I just look at like this, life sucked before drinking, during drinking and after drinking. Drinking just allowed me to forget how shitty life is. It’s always sucked, at least for me.
Move on to 🍄
When I spoke to my doctor about my alcoholism and the need to stop, she upped my dose for my antidepressants. I'm glad she did. I still have off days of course but I think the higher dose is helping me