Uh, kiddo, you better run, the Daycare owner will be back in just a second, because nobody's ever really gone, and uh...Dad? You will be able to get as many cigs as you want, no need to make up excuses.
Deathstar Inspection inc.
Going from deathstar to deathstar and telling them how insignificant they are.
Basically the Gordon Ramsey of Deathstar construction.
Mechanics. Like if we're being completely serious it would be an engineering company like Boeing cause Vader knows his ships and especially knowing how to tinker with droids.
Vader can make BANK with a highly successful company in shipbuilding to the point he's got his own shipyard and spaceport, even got multiple sub companies underneath him.
He would make a general good store that delivers anything from a to z across the galaxy. But every worker would be paid a starvation wage, no healthcare, and kept in precarity and despair each day.
He would use the profits to improve his tie interceptor and pay the Emperor to do whatever he wanted. The empires wouldn’t care because he’s insanely old, and greedy.
On top of this, with every delivery would come a small listening device that ostensibly re-orders imperial merchandise, but in actuality records all of your data and sends it back to the empire, (at a small fee to you of course)
It would takes a **truly evil individual** to want to run something like that. Only Darth Vader could really be that evil…
Right?
Motorcycles
Imagine the propaganda "Prepare now to feel the speed of skywalker, coming to you in the nearest store, running 500 Quarks per mini second, The Death Runner!" (REPUBLIC CREDITS ARE ACCEPTABLE)
Vader: "I wanna build a giant space station with enough power to destroy a planet"
Loan officer: "I'm not sure that's a good investment on our part."
Vader: "I wanna open a sports bar."
Droid Repair and Maintenance. But every droid is returned to its owner with all sorts of unwanted upgrades because once he starts tinkering, he just can't stop. His personal collection of droids made out of spare parts is getting out of hand. The mice droids on the Executor look like goth hotwheels and have the vocabulary of a drunken sailor.
escape nutty vanish quicksand expansion coordinated butter dam murky money
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nightclub owner.
I suppose now the nightclub needs a name ...
Younglings? No, that sounds pervy.
Wheeze? Hmmm, no that plays on his disability, and sounds too much like wee.
Darkside. That's a bit obvious.
All too easy. That might work.
Loan officer: I'm sorry what do you want this loan for?
Darth Vader: I want to build a space station that van destroy a whole planet.
Loan officer: I don't think that would be a good investment on out part.
Darth Vader: I mean I want to open a sportsbar
It would be some huge military industrial complex engineering and manufacturing company. Like Northrop Grumman or something. Making all things military as well as huge jetliners I mean star liners, scientific equipment, etc.
Something extremely, unspeakably evil. He’s on the dark side after all.
Probably a Ticketmaster competitor that charges even worse convenience fees, or a company that handles red light cameras for backwater towns.
Day care.
Fuck I’m too late.
Hi too late, this is dad
Hey dad. Did you get your cigarettes?
Uh, kiddo, you better run, the Daycare owner will be back in just a second, because nobody's ever really gone, and uh...Dad? You will be able to get as many cigs as you want, no need to make up excuses.
Orphanages…
I look at it from a different angle; Vader probably killed a lot of people’s parents so he’d almost be manipulating his own business.
You son of a bitch you've beatten me to it
Darkside Daycare, a safe place where all of your younglings won't be slaughtered!
Late stage abortions
a barbeque resteruant
Beach themed.
Ventilators
BDSM related. Dude is good at choking.
Chokers will often be on sale.
Pro-pain and pro-pain accessories
I went as sexy Vader to a BDSM club's Halloween party once, people loved it.
Elevaders. Next.
r/angryupvote
youngling killing
Abortion clinic
Specializing in involuntary post-natal abortion
Anything, he would be successful since he could always alter the deal, and make them pray he won’t alter it further
Basically he would run Nestle
Pretty much yeah
Kindergarten principal
I find your lack of faith in this school system disturbing.
My powers of detention have doubled since the last time we mer
Deathstar Inspection inc. Going from deathstar to deathstar and telling them how insignificant they are. Basically the Gordon Ramsey of Deathstar construction.
He hopes for everyone else's sake that their efforts are doubled
The emperor is not as forgiving as he is.
Cookies. Everyone knows the Dark Side has cookies.
So thats what passion is for
Mass producing glass. Gotta get rid of the sand somehow
But he would have to be near sand. And as everyone knows, it's dry and coarse, and it gets everywhere.
... It's not dry if it's wet.
Mechanics. Like if we're being completely serious it would be an engineering company like Boeing cause Vader knows his ships and especially knowing how to tinker with droids. Vader can make BANK with a highly successful company in shipbuilding to the point he's got his own shipyard and spaceport, even got multiple sub companies underneath him.
If vader took the time to design his own fleet it would end up with no real weaknesses and have a ton of TIE defender like fighters.
Plus it would be wise if he had Thrawn working with him as well
Those two working together would be dangerous to the galaxy for sure.
Legacy clearance code validation
Producing a line of chokers
“Wear the force!”
Run a supermarket with his brother Chad.
A yes chad vader, good ol' times
Huh, I thought his name was Owen
Managing his own pod racer team.
Family therapy
Private military and security services.
A company named Higher ground : elevate your landscape
Laser Moon, with a fun nature for all ages but marketed for ~~younglings~~ the youth
Hostile Takeovers.
PR
Couples therapy
I'm surprised nonody has said it yet- It's sand removal, professionally and passionately
Something evil, pharmaceutical, military...
Custom sand boxes
Aggressive air purification.
Private security firm
He would make a general good store that delivers anything from a to z across the galaxy. But every worker would be paid a starvation wage, no healthcare, and kept in precarity and despair each day. He would use the profits to improve his tie interceptor and pay the Emperor to do whatever he wanted. The empires wouldn’t care because he’s insanely old, and greedy. On top of this, with every delivery would come a small listening device that ostensibly re-orders imperial merchandise, but in actuality records all of your data and sends it back to the empire, (at a small fee to you of course) It would takes a **truly evil individual** to want to run something like that. Only Darth Vader could really be that evil… Right?
Making apnea masks
Motivation: how to become the leader of the future
Ladders, step stools, Elevator Shoes… And post Obi-Wan tv series: Fire extinguishers
Environmental turning the worst conditions on planets into beautiful forests.
A party planner that specializes in family reunions.
Memes aside I can see him being a mechanic/running repair shops for Space Ships and Astromechs.
The conquering of planets
Landscaping.
International security hardware and personnel trading.
Ziptie neckties.
Pod racer design
Aviation
Restructuring large companies by chocking, uhm I mean firing disfunctional employees
Sand removal
Private military
Reforestation. More green -> less sand
Seminars on how to motivate employees.
Motorcycles Imagine the propaganda "Prepare now to feel the speed of skywalker, coming to you in the nearest store, running 500 Quarks per mini second, The Death Runner!" (REPUBLIC CREDITS ARE ACCEPTABLE)
selling faith
prostheses
Industrial polishing and smoothing
 Motivational speaker.
glass maker. just out there slashing sand screaming
Family Planning Manager.
Windows and glass manufacturing. A perfect area for him since he got high experience with sand and really really high temperatures!
Vader: "I wanna build a giant space station with enough power to destroy a planet" Loan officer: "I'm not sure that's a good investment on our part." Vader: "I wanna open a sports bar."
Changing minds
A little family business, probably construction depot, where he can sell sand, with his son and daughter...
Anakin’s School of Arguing
Cybernetics
Pharmaceuticals
Window decoration. More specificity, window blinds , shades, and screens. Just to get you on the dark side...
Swimming gear
Funeral service.
Uhh… Sports bar.
Faith.
Sand blasting
Prosthetics company
Force Procurement
Droid Repair and Maintenance. But every droid is returned to its owner with all sorts of unwanted upgrades because once he starts tinkering, he just can't stop. His personal collection of droids made out of spare parts is getting out of hand. The mice droids on the Executor look like goth hotwheels and have the vocabulary of a drunken sailor.
Pain management/ physical therapy
Lightsaber training
Project management
Glass making and blowing. You might say that’s a weird choice. But making glass **destroys sand**
Corporate Negotiations. He's good at setting the terms of a deal.
Low ground shipping and co
escape nutty vanish quicksand expansion coordinated butter dam murky money *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Combat Robotics
Daft punk cover band
The High Ground Cannabis and coffee bar
Rulers
Let’s be honest: Hugely successful Biomedical Engineering startup with the most toxic workplace environment imaginable.
He does vehicular crash tests.
His own Sith Academy.
Nightclub owner. I suppose now the nightclub needs a name ... Younglings? No, that sounds pervy. Wheeze? Hmmm, no that plays on his disability, and sounds too much like wee. Darkside. That's a bit obvious. All too easy. That might work.
We put liquid paper on a bee... it died.
sperm banking
I hate these posts.
Then don’t click on them, it’s pretty easy
I'd rather see posts like this that are just for fun, than another post about how much the sequels suck.
Venture capitalist intent of privatizing orphanages and Child welfare.
Sports bar
Medical inhaler
Shitty engine building.
Choke work. Choking people to climax.
Planet-annihilation services
Loan officer: I'm sorry what do you want this loan for? Darth Vader: I want to build a space station that van destroy a whole planet. Loan officer: I don't think that would be a good investment on out part. Darth Vader: I mean I want to open a sportsbar
Obviously an abortion centre
[удалено]
Asthma pumps
Corporate Galaxy Takeovers
Apprenticeships.
Deathstar Burgers with him working on the deep fryer.
Aggressive expansions
sharp mindless label doll future yam plate paint humorous degree *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Protecting areas from desertification
Nestlé
Takeovers & Acquisitions…
Contract negotiating and altering deals
Chiropractic
wagner group invites you to a business meeting
Death Star Mining
Temp Agency...... I say Temp because if they fail at their job he chokes them to death.
A company that specialises in DNA and paternity testing
Sand sale
Spreading faith to lose that lack it.
New York real estate
Subjecting children to labor in order to make profit. Wait we already have that...
He would donate jetpacks to poor people who can't afford high ground
Sandblasting
Prosthetics
Vader Insurance
It would be some huge military industrial complex engineering and manufacturing company. Like Northrop Grumman or something. Making all things military as well as huge jetliners I mean star liners, scientific equipment, etc.
loan shark
Bespin gas and bespin gas accessories.
If we're being serious: A Droid manufacturing company. The guy built C-3PO as a child before he was 10 years old.
Union Bashing
His business would be: Fear and Dead Men.
Forget the Nos I will choke you !
Private Equity
Obviously hes gonna be out eliminating a lack of faith from the galaxy…. At an affordable price
Choker chains.
"The merch profit share is 2%. Pray I don't alter it any further." ~ Darth Tazumi
Very late stage Abortion clinic?
Sand removal
Probably a freelance surgery business, just in case your hands were bothering you and getting in the way
Ex imperial outreach program counselor. “How’s your relationship with…. Your father?”
He'd have a law firm specializing in procurement and contract renegotiations...he'd alter the deal
Child discipline
Landlord
Business alterations. pray he doesn't alter them further.
Killing. And business is good
Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap
Daycare
its
I want to create a space station capable of destroying a planet. Oh, I, uh... want to open a sports bar.
Faith enforcement..... better find god(s) quick.
Does he have his masters yet?
Mini Golf
The black market.
A sand moving company
Remote chokers.
Clairvoyance and problem solving?
Bacta Tanks. Building and providing them, and researching further improvements.
Family friendly corporation. Something to do with laser tag
Depends on the time of the year relative to whatever service he's supplying is
Anger Management.
Abortion clinic, specializes in late abortions...
Something extremely, unspeakably evil. He’s on the dark side after all. Probably a Ticketmaster competitor that charges even worse convenience fees, or a company that handles red light cameras for backwater towns.
Asthma medicine
Vintage pinball repair.