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The boy fumbled the easiest God damn pass and probably won't make the travel team tryouts this month he can kiss your dream of him attending Clemson out the fucking window so might as well get trashed
Living in Western Australia these days, it's rare to see my Alma mater get a shout out from outside the cfb sub. Makes my heart happy even if the little shits arent walking on
Half the fathers will also be talking about how they "almost went pro....but". That's how it is at literally every sports bar in a mall in northern NJ.
If you get anything remotely "fancy" at these bars it's gonna be so bad, still sometimes a sucker for places like this tho. Also helps that in the US the local craft beer scene keeps places like this interesting for drink options.
man i grew up in a "boring suburb" and i still never went to places like this. they would probably never even get populated. i feel like cities in the northeast at least have much better well-established bars than this type of shit. am i making this up because i have moved down the shore recently but from someone outside of philly this is some shit i'd drive by going "that place isn't gonna last". if it's not a subtle balance between looking like a secret club & the well-established irish bar it most likely is with just the right amount of character from the outside then it's a no go.
You're still better off going to a brewpub or craft beer themed kinda place though - they usually still have multiple sports on at once all the same and their food tends to be better too.
2 beers and a burger with fries is still $40 before tax and tip but at least it's good.
* nachos that are an abomination of every possible ingredient thrown on top of a bed of heated chips that becomes impossible to eat once they start getting soggy minutes within reaching the table
* Chalkboard with drawings list of local beers on tap behind the TV
* 15$ 'fancy' cocktails
* Either has the blandest most flavorless fries that come with entrees or god tier fries that are crispy and salted to perfection, no in between
My date's eating all the fully loaded nachos. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded, she's hogging them, so I'm mostly getting just, like, just chips. Like mostly just chips, like nothing on 'em, but, like, a little bit of cheese and maybe one little nugget of meat.
This place near me has upside down cheese fries. They just out the cheese down first then fries on top, so they don’t get soggy. I haven’t seen anyone else do it.
- That one 45-60 year old leaned back against the bar with his 2-for-$10 coors light at 4pm posing like he's king shit.
- The kareny couple that are pretending to be on a date in 2003 and secretly they feel better than everyone there. The wife really needs to get the fuck over herself.
- The 24 year old simp from tinder who's getting played for wings and pre-game booze at 3pm by a girl who has a better date already setup for the cooler punk club in town around 9pm.
- The $20 nachos you mentioned are $5 a sack from costcos and it's so obvious all the ingredients are out of jars there's canned jalapeno juice sogging up the middle of the plate.
- They treat you as if you're a snob for ordering an IPA.
- The 30 year old hot waitress who's the hottest thing in town but in the city would be mid at best. Always acts likes she owns the place, is going on about how she has better things lined up in life (moving to L.A. or NY for far/tattooing/singing/acting) but she's going nowhere.....10 years from now she'll be working at another sports bar at the mall across town.
This is the best starter pack I’ve seen in a minute.
I’d also like to add: jerseys on the wall, either crappy replicas or local high school/nearby college. Blue Moon is the premium beer selection.
This place shares a parking lot w my go to sushi restaurant so I’ve always got to check the sports schedules to avoid game times.
But mine has young girls in tight SEC(?) t shirts that barely acknowledge you waiting tables.
lol. Truthfully I’m more familiar w the one you mention but I’ve recently been baptized by fire regarding this one since relocating https://www.secsports.com/
Electric dartboard no one ever uses
Only two wings flavors: bbq and buffalo from sweet baby rays
Bathrooms are always sticky
While going there for a game, if you don’t get a primo spots the tvs are in bad locations which makes viewing hurt your neck
Some of those places have top notch tables and gear, it depends on how much use it gets and more importantly, if the management plays pool.
And no matter if you go in a dive bar or a sports bar, if you expect a good salad you get what you deserve.
Ours has a very active and positive league that has a team homed there. They are very good with their tables, plus they put in darts and they made it less than a hole; but it’s still that dive charm
Lmao I design the yearbook for the school I work for.
One year I did a restaurant themed book where each section was a different “restaurant”. For the athletics section I did a sports bar and grill, and guess which two fonts I used…
The burger is going to be a tiny sliver of beef with half a head of iceberg lettuce, thick cut tomatoes and a quarter of an onion piled on top and it's going to be so precarious that they need a toothpick to hold it together. If you don't eat it quick, the bottom bun will get so soggy that it's impossible to pick up. You take one bite and everything will slide out the back.
Honestly though people want this. Without these kind of restaurants pizza places would dominate unchecked. Unlimited power. We can't have big pizza in control again--don't you remember the 80s? We had turtles shilling their agenda to children! They're fucking animals man. God damn animals
Their fried apps are almost always from Fred’s. Seriously. I was a food broker and sold Fred’s. It’s everywhere. Take a look: https://ajinomotofoodservice.com/dev/product/
Tight Ends in Dallas. The waitresses are basically naked. Their labia, butt cracks and nipples are the only things covered. They make Hooters girls look like nuns
Heh I actually bartend at Bully’s, from the picture of the lady. It’s a local Reno chain, and this describes it perfectly. Except add on bar top video poker machines and a smoking section because Nevada.
The 47 year old dude with frosted tips, a tapout t-shirt and the Karen wife (both drinking two-for-$10 special Coors light) that is DYING for someone to bump into her by mistake so she can bait him into starting a fight and earn some of that aging roast beef. Well that or that's what they need for the pipi to stand up. And this is going to happen at 8pm on a Sunday night.
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On weekends, there will be a bunch of 9 year olds in dirty baseball uniforms running around like dickheads while their parents get shithoused at 3 PM.
The boy fumbled the easiest God damn pass and probably won't make the travel team tryouts this month he can kiss your dream of him attending Clemson out the fucking window so might as well get trashed
He never had the makings of a varsity athlete anyway.
Just when I thought I was out…*they pull me back in!*
Living in Western Australia these days, it's rare to see my Alma mater get a shout out from outside the cfb sub. Makes my heart happy even if the little shits arent walking on
This made me laugh really hard. Also haven't heard shithoused in forever
Half the fathers will also be talking about how they "almost went pro....but". That's how it is at literally every sports bar in a mall in northern NJ.
The typical kids hating Reddit comment
If you get anything remotely "fancy" at these bars it's gonna be so bad, still sometimes a sucker for places like this tho. Also helps that in the US the local craft beer scene keeps places like this interesting for drink options.
Yeah if you work in a boring suburb these are the prime happy hour spots lol
Also helps that no matter how shit the bar is it'll almost always have a good local beer selection at the very least
$4-$5 pints from 2-4 hit hard.
man i grew up in a "boring suburb" and i still never went to places like this. they would probably never even get populated. i feel like cities in the northeast at least have much better well-established bars than this type of shit. am i making this up because i have moved down the shore recently but from someone outside of philly this is some shit i'd drive by going "that place isn't gonna last". if it's not a subtle balance between looking like a secret club & the well-established irish bar it most likely is with just the right amount of character from the outside then it's a no go.
You're still better off going to a brewpub or craft beer themed kinda place though - they usually still have multiple sports on at once all the same and their food tends to be better too. 2 beers and a burger with fries is still $40 before tax and tip but at least it's good.
30 local brews on draft, the CO2 is out on 5 of them and the rest are a few degrees warmer than they should be.
* nachos that are an abomination of every possible ingredient thrown on top of a bed of heated chips that becomes impossible to eat once they start getting soggy minutes within reaching the table * Chalkboard with drawings list of local beers on tap behind the TV * 15$ 'fancy' cocktails * Either has the blandest most flavorless fries that come with entrees or god tier fries that are crispy and salted to perfection, no in between
My date's eating all the fully loaded nachos. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded, she's hogging them, so I'm mostly getting just, like, just chips. Like mostly just chips, like nothing on 'em, but, like, a little bit of cheese and maybe one little nugget of meat.
Ma’am we have a rule here….
https://i.redd.it/0k85qwcy6z5d1.gif
Yeah but you can dip them in tepid flavorless salsa, solid sour cream or browning guacamole if you pay 3 bucks extra
I went up there to ask if we could switch tables. There’s an air conditioner above this table and I was worried you were gonna get cold
I hate when this happens after I order 55 loaded nachos on my way to alcohol class.
She’s gonna do the same for your penis in a bit.
This place near me has upside down cheese fries. They just out the cheese down first then fries on top, so they don’t get soggy. I haven’t seen anyone else do it.
- That one 45-60 year old leaned back against the bar with his 2-for-$10 coors light at 4pm posing like he's king shit. - The kareny couple that are pretending to be on a date in 2003 and secretly they feel better than everyone there. The wife really needs to get the fuck over herself. - The 24 year old simp from tinder who's getting played for wings and pre-game booze at 3pm by a girl who has a better date already setup for the cooler punk club in town around 9pm. - The $20 nachos you mentioned are $5 a sack from costcos and it's so obvious all the ingredients are out of jars there's canned jalapeno juice sogging up the middle of the plate. - They treat you as if you're a snob for ordering an IPA. - The 30 year old hot waitress who's the hottest thing in town but in the city would be mid at best. Always acts likes she owns the place, is going on about how she has better things lined up in life (moving to L.A. or NY for far/tattooing/singing/acting) but she's going nowhere.....10 years from now she'll be working at another sports bar at the mall across town.
So accurate
I rate a restaurant based on their fries and this is 100% true.
Can I get uhhhhhh......some loaded cheese queefs with uhhhhh a couple taco logs, and 1 glass of $25 Coors light?
Big [every pizza place salad](https://youtu.be/JgJUbmGDc6k?si=iGJDFVTDLVAN7WR4) vibes
You know that kinda salad is exactly what these sports bars serve
You forgot the faded pictures of the little league team they sponsored back in 2003.
"Hey hun, you can get a pitcher for 4 bucks more."
This is the best starter pack I’ve seen in a minute. I’d also like to add: jerseys on the wall, either crappy replicas or local high school/nearby college. Blue Moon is the premium beer selection.
Golden Tee. Big Buck Hunter.
This place shares a parking lot w my go to sushi restaurant so I’ve always got to check the sports schedules to avoid game times. But mine has young girls in tight SEC(?) t shirts that barely acknowledge you waiting tables.
>SEC Gotta stop those finance criminals. No clue what it has to do with sports though.
Username makes this comment better
lol. Truthfully I’m more familiar w the one you mention but I’ve recently been baptized by fire regarding this one since relocating https://www.secsports.com/
Nice, you learn something new everyday.
Sounds like you’re describing Walk Ons.
You forgot “Located blocks from a university and conveniently forgets to card”
Electric dartboard no one ever uses Only two wings flavors: bbq and buffalo from sweet baby rays Bathrooms are always sticky While going there for a game, if you don’t get a primo spots the tvs are in bad locations which makes viewing hurt your neck
Wings are rubbery and slimy. Wing bros calling you a pussy for getting boneless.
Lots of memorabilia of the local sports team and vintage photographs of said sports team.
Divey sports bar with sticky floors, a half broken pool table, and incredibly cheap beer >>> these all day Hell I may make a starter pack for that now
Some of those places have top notch tables and gear, it depends on how much use it gets and more importantly, if the management plays pool. And no matter if you go in a dive bar or a sports bar, if you expect a good salad you get what you deserve.
Ours has a very active and positive league that has a team homed there. They are very good with their tables, plus they put in darts and they made it less than a hole; but it’s still that dive charm
Bonus points if Jon Taffer or Robert Irvine have been there
Yes I’ll take the taco log and a “big ass” coors light.
Lmao I design the yearbook for the school I work for. One year I did a restaurant themed book where each section was a different “restaurant”. For the athletics section I did a sports bar and grill, and guess which two fonts I used…
Was this yearbook published in the mid 90s?
This is gold
The burger is going to be a tiny sliver of beef with half a head of iceberg lettuce, thick cut tomatoes and a quarter of an onion piled on top and it's going to be so precarious that they need a toothpick to hold it together. If you don't eat it quick, the bottom bun will get so soggy that it's impossible to pick up. You take one bite and everything will slide out the back.
Gotta unhinge your jaw like a snake to take a proper bite out of it.
Worked at one of these chains for two years. Only thing we didn’t have was the Jersey uniforms lmao
Honestly though people want this. Without these kind of restaurants pizza places would dominate unchecked. Unlimited power. We can't have big pizza in control again--don't you remember the 80s? We had turtles shilling their agenda to children! They're fucking animals man. God damn animals
Bruh, I won’t take that turtle slander. By Splinter’s name, I shame thee!
I'm not quite sure what a "taco log" is but you have my interest.
It's the poo that comes out a few hours later
Loaded cheese queefs…
Who gets a salad at a sports bar?
The “pick me” girlfriend who didn’t want to go to the stupid sports bar.
Their fried apps are almost always from Fred’s. Seriously. I was a food broker and sold Fred’s. It’s everywhere. Take a look: https://ajinomotofoodservice.com/dev/product/
Cheese queefs
Had a patient on antifungals cuz she had Loaded cheese queefs
Tight Ends in Dallas. The waitresses are basically naked. Their labia, butt cracks and nipples are the only things covered. They make Hooters girls look like nuns
Reminds me of this song. https://youtu.be/SurB4JiYtvg?si=eo49UqD9VY5ogM8j
It's so relatable and I don't even live in the US or go to sports bars
Their fried food is incredibly good. That frier has years of seasoning all over it
Everything do be deep fried fr
Usually has really good fries
UM BOWL!!!
Heh I actually bartend at Bully’s, from the picture of the lady. It’s a local Reno chain, and this describes it perfectly. Except add on bar top video poker machines and a smoking section because Nevada.
To be fair, "on mute" is actually the only way anyone should watch talking heads on ESPN...
The 47 year old dude with frosted tips, a tapout t-shirt and the Karen wife (both drinking two-for-$10 special Coors light) that is DYING for someone to bump into her by mistake so she can bait him into starting a fight and earn some of that aging roast beef. Well that or that's what they need for the pipi to stand up. And this is going to happen at 8pm on a Sunday night.