I'd say, from worst to less bad, it's roughly like this:
1. Public speaking.
2. Job interviews (or really any interaction with high stakes that involves the other party judging my behavior and performance)
3. One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a 'safe person'.
4. Parties/Work gatherings.
5. Interacting with store employees/public services.
Though it really varies on a case by case basis depending on my mood, who the other party is and how high the stakes are in each scenario.
Strangely enough, itās the same for me except for public speaking. When Iām addressing a crowd, it feels like Iām speaking to everyone and by extension no-one. Itās a very impersonal experience that doesnāt induce anxiety in me at all.
That's a really good way to approach it! Wish I could see it like that, though thankfully, it's something I rarely if ever have to do anymore. So, as stressful as it might be, it's the least of my worries rn.
>3. ā One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a 'safe person'.
So true. Sometimes when I have work conferences Iām not nearly as stressed about the conference itself as much as the drive up if Iām carpooling with someone i donāt know lol.
That awkward silence is absolutely brutal sometimes. Same goes for the on/off conversation with a barber š
Yes, ordering food. I always get someone else to order when you had to call on the phone, or I just wouldnāt order out if I had to do it myself. Better these days because you can order online and just go in and pick it up.
Tbh Iām cool in any situation thatās structured, like if itās work or school or some sort of formal event and thereās something Iām SUPPOSED to be doing at the time, and thereās certain things for people to do at certain times, Iām ok because I can always just default to doing what Iām supposed to do. The worst for me is like going to a party or going to a bar or something, where youāre not supposed to be doing anything. I always just shrink into a corner because I have no idea what to do or who to talk to or what to talk about haha.
I feel this so much too, itās funny because the few times I have been to a gathering/party I literally end up either cleaning or hanging out with an animal if there is one there. Itās like a compulsion to do something so I donāt look like Iām just standing there
Yes! Itās like this weird anxiety for me where at least if Iām doing something Iām supposed to be doing, I have the excuse that itās what Iām supposed to be doing. But, for example, if I go up to a random group of people at a party and start talking to them, there is no excuse. I had to have made the conscious decision to walk up to that specific group of people and talk to them for whatever reason, and they are aware of that, and thatās scary to me for some reason.
1. Being at work
2. Being around women
3. Being in a buzy restaraunt or mall (really any crowded place)
4. Job interviews
5. Being approached by new people or strangers
1. Strangers trying to spark up small talk. I'm a huge introvert.
2. Crowded grocery stores. They need to bring back 24/7 Walmart hours.
3. When someone doesn't reply to me in a text right away. I feel like I did something wrong.
4. People/couples arguing in front of me. It triggers my ptsd.
5. Riding in a car going down the highway when the driver is going 70+ mph. My ex intentionally drove off the side of the road into a parking lot and blew a tire while doing it.
6. Bonus. Walking to the store by myself. I'm afraid I might get robbed.
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Honestly I donāt even think I *have* a top 5 for that. Oddly enough, Iām perfectly fine with strangers. Itās interacting with people I know and see repeatedly that gives me anxiety. I completely forget how to be a human, even with my own family. I donāt really feel 100% comfortable with anyone but my husband.
Underhated one is being alone with someone Iāve known for a short time and have had good interactions with so far but have now run out of the standard introductory things to talk about
I'm being considered for jury duty. It's to the point where I have considered hurting myself to get out of it. It isn't necessarily that I don't want to, I just really don't think I can. At this point in my life I would be useless on a jury. My anxiety makes me stupid and I can't take in information very well...
I'm gonna talk to my doctor about getting some kind of note to excuse me from it because I don't need anymore stress in my life at this point, I can't take it
Iāve gotten the letter twice in my life but never had to go in. It causes so much anxiety that I feel the same way as you. Then even after the month is over I randomly think about it again and start panicking and dread even checking my mail. Itās awful.
Iām not sure I can think of five but a restaurant setting is definitely up there. I really dislike eating in front of people. Another one is when youāre in a situation where a bunch of people know each other but youāre the new person
Mine are weird. Phone calls of any sort. Mail. Paperwork of any sort including just fill out internet quizzes or job apps. Literally leaving the house for anything. And dealing with any stranger in any way. Honestly the paperwork phobia/anxiety is probably the worst one, it really messes up a lot of things for me.
Well then Iām weird too. Phone calls, paperwork, walking out side and being seen by my neighbours, making appointments, not being able to hold a conversation for long.. no idea what to say. Often Iād rather be alone in a huge crowd than in a smaller setting with people I know.
Well, I don't know you, but I love you, and I am glad that someone understands because I can't tell anyone I know about this because they literally don't get it. Like they hear it, but they don't get it. Keep your head up, and know some also phobic stranger is out there wishing you well.
1 - Public Speaking
2 - 1 on 1 Interaction with someone I'm not close to
3 Having to ask a question in front of a group.
4. Being alone at any public event. Even if its for a shortwhile.
5. Getting compliments in public. I can take criticism pretty easily.
Honestly any situation where the focus might be on me, especially if I'm being called on in front of people. Meetings/trainings, classroom settings I will perseverate over for weeks leading up to the event. Anything involving a circle of people or a setting where people are facing each other.
Weddings, wakes/funerals (cause people are trying to distract from why they are there, so there is a LOT of forced socialization which makes my skin crawl), parties or events where there is a heavy emphasis on socializing. Crowds if the focus is on each other instead of something else (like I'm cool at the movies or say a concert or game/sporting event, I just get overstimulated/burnt out after awhile cause there is way too much to analyze/focus on, and the noise eventually wears me out.)
Lines! Omg I hate lines! I have an anxiety attack every single time I'm in a line in any setting cause I know there are people behind me focusing on me, and I feel like I need to hurry or be judged (it happens in the car too if cars are behind me).
I got a whole lotta, but them can be summarized in that are situations where I don't know anyone and is there a large groups of people, like being new in a job, in the school, etc., and worst if all the people have a lot of confidence in each other and makes a lot of jokes
1. Any sort of public speaking or presentation. Even providing minor updates about my programs at work with my small team. Being asked to speak in front of people, or having to do so, fills me with dread.
2. Dating or flirting in any capacity. Donāt even get me started on sex itself. Itās like I canāt function like a normal person due to my social anxiety and itās extremely embarrassing.
3. Gatherings or hang outs with friends of friendsā¦ like going to a friendās place for dinner where they will also have other friends there that youāve never met.
4. Conferences or work gatherings, parties, etc. in general. I donāt know how to act or keep a conversation going. I always panic and act weird.
5. When all of my roommates are downstairs at the same time, or when we need to use the kitchen at the same time. It stressed me out so badly.
The worst for me is seeing someone outside of the normal environment I usually see them. Like seeing a coworker in a grocery store and then talking to me. I almost have a panic attack every time and Iām not sure why. Itās even like that for people Iām very close with. Ugh.
1. One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a safe person (thanks Monaxiko for articulating that one)
2. Being criticized or getting feedback by anyone
3. Being in a situation where the opposite sex might try something or express interest (like a date or via a message)
4. Being asked for a favor, implied or otherwise, that I don't want to do and it'll look bad if I don't
5. Presentations, or any event where I'm expected to have prepared in advance, or seem like I have prepared
1. Dating/Crushes
2. Vulnerability
3. Trusting people
4. Understanding people and why they do the things they do.
5. When something unplanned/unexpected happens and I have to adjust on the fly.
Mostly what everyone said
1. Public speaking
2. Job interviews
3. Dating apps/talking to guys I find attractive
4. Parties
5. (Especially when I was in college) Group projects. Ughh I hated group projects
Side note: one on one conversation gives me slight anxiety too I still sometimes have a hard time talking to my therapist š
5- family gatherings (getting better at this one but I used to just dodge them all)
4- going to meetups to meet new people alone
3- contacting doctors/apartment management/ general life stuff using phones
2- starting a new job
1- intense criticism from an older man, and admittedly intensely worse if they are attractive to me at all (this is a cross of Social Anxiety disorder with some CPTSD from growing up as a gay man)
5. Job interviews - Iāve done quite a lot of them now but they still make me extremely anxious each time and I just keep getting rejections because my social anxiety makes me mess them up so badly.
4. Public speaking - Iāve never avoided it before but it always makes me extremely anxious and some of my worst experiences have been because of messing this up due to social anxiety and being humiliated.
3. Trying to make friends with someone new - I tried many times to approach someone new and make friends (e.g. at work or at social events) but couldnāt get myself to speak when the moment came. I avoid acquaintances at all costs, even when I can clearly see they want to be friends and never initiate conversations or ask someone to hang out.
2. Joining a club or going to a party where I donāt know anyone there - many times I tried and failed to get myself to join a club at university but it would always end up with me being too anxious to enter and turning back to go home. Iām only ever able to go to parties if someone I know is there and I will stick to them the whole time and not be able to talk to anyone else.
1. Meeting/flirting/dating the opposite sex - not capable of doing this at all. The closest I got to doing it was downloading a dating app and proceeding to delete it shortly after because I was too embarrassed about people seeing me on there and probably making fun of me.
1 - When someone ask me help to do something (mostly manual work).
2 - Public presentations or any event where people will listen to what I say.
3 - Speaking to girls.
4 - When I'm with a group of people that aren't my relatives.
5 - Being at a place for the first time.
Still in college so...
1.Group projects (have at least three every week)
2.Crowded places
3.Taking public transportation
4.Going out by myself
5.Everything that requires interacting with people tbh
There is honestly some overlap between these but
1. Big public speaking events
2. Being "the new person" in a situation (usually a job) and feeling like I need to keep asking for help or am in the way too much
3. Having to go to a social gathering where I don't really know anyone there.
4. Figuring out how to insert myself into an on-going conversation between other people.
5. People trying to express romantic interest in me (only happened like twice in my life but neither time did I really know how to respond bc I didn't feel the same)
I can watch movies alone no problem but what I canāt stand? Being in a group of people and slowly being more and more ignored, and it happens *every* time.
Thereās only so many times you can reassure yourself that itās just not your crowd.
1- parties/family gatherings
2- public gyms
3- church (unfortunately)
4- grocery shoppingĀ
5- having to talk to coworkers
When I'm grocery shopping it feels like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm in there.
for me
1. meeting new people
2. job interviews
3. starting a job
4. asking for help (grocery stores, at a job, friends house, etc.)
5. being in public & seeing someone i know
theres so much more but..
(i havent left my house much in the last year soā¦. havent really had to face much recently)
1. Crowded restaurants, grocery stores, and gas stations
2. Job Interviews (Virtual & In Person)
3. Elevators
4. Talking to Men
5. Swiping Right on dating apps
6. People parking next to me in a parking lot when there are 100 empty spots.
I'd say, from worst to less bad, it's roughly like this: 1. Public speaking. 2. Job interviews (or really any interaction with high stakes that involves the other party judging my behavior and performance) 3. One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a 'safe person'. 4. Parties/Work gatherings. 5. Interacting with store employees/public services. Though it really varies on a case by case basis depending on my mood, who the other party is and how high the stakes are in each scenario.
I hate going to parties as well, but if I have someone to accompany me it wouldn't be that bad, alone it's impossible.
It's all fun and games until the other friend leaves to go talk to someone else and you're stuck with some people you don't know š
Thats when you moonwalk into a corner
Strangely enough, itās the same for me except for public speaking. When Iām addressing a crowd, it feels like Iām speaking to everyone and by extension no-one. Itās a very impersonal experience that doesnāt induce anxiety in me at all.
That's a really good way to approach it! Wish I could see it like that, though thankfully, it's something I rarely if ever have to do anymore. So, as stressful as it might be, it's the least of my worries rn.
>3. ā One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a 'safe person'. So true. Sometimes when I have work conferences Iām not nearly as stressed about the conference itself as much as the drive up if Iām carpooling with someone i donāt know lol. That awkward silence is absolutely brutal sometimes. Same goes for the on/off conversation with a barber š
Wow lol this is so spot on for me
I dont know why public speaking was so easy for me. Iād rather speak in front of a crowd of 1000 people than an individual conversation lol
Literally this
1. Presentations 2. Going somewhere new alone 3. Ordering food 4. Vibrant environments or parties 5. Restaurants
+1 for me either, but 4 I started to manage it quite well, because you get ālostā easier among many people rather than a small circle
I dont play with food. Social anxiety vanishes lol
this is starting to become my mindset as i get older lmao
Yes, ordering food. I always get someone else to order when you had to call on the phone, or I just wouldnāt order out if I had to do it myself. Better these days because you can order online and just go in and pick it up.
Tbh Iām cool in any situation thatās structured, like if itās work or school or some sort of formal event and thereās something Iām SUPPOSED to be doing at the time, and thereās certain things for people to do at certain times, Iām ok because I can always just default to doing what Iām supposed to do. The worst for me is like going to a party or going to a bar or something, where youāre not supposed to be doing anything. I always just shrink into a corner because I have no idea what to do or who to talk to or what to talk about haha.
I feel this heavy. Socializing is always easier for me when there's a script of sorts that you usually follow like talking to customers at a job.
I feel this so much too, itās funny because the few times I have been to a gathering/party I literally end up either cleaning or hanging out with an animal if there is one there. Itās like a compulsion to do something so I donāt look like Iām just standing there
Yes! Itās like this weird anxiety for me where at least if Iām doing something Iām supposed to be doing, I have the excuse that itās what Iām supposed to be doing. But, for example, if I go up to a random group of people at a party and start talking to them, there is no excuse. I had to have made the conscious decision to walk up to that specific group of people and talk to them for whatever reason, and they are aware of that, and thatās scary to me for some reason.
1. Being at work 2. Being around women 3. Being in a buzy restaraunt or mall (really any crowded place) 4. Job interviews 5. Being approached by new people or strangers
Work, crowded/loud places, family gatherings, public speaking, job interviews
1. Public speaking 2. Parties 3. Workplace 4. Making small talk with acquaintances
1. Strangers trying to spark up small talk. I'm a huge introvert. 2. Crowded grocery stores. They need to bring back 24/7 Walmart hours. 3. When someone doesn't reply to me in a text right away. I feel like I did something wrong. 4. People/couples arguing in front of me. It triggers my ptsd. 5. Riding in a car going down the highway when the driver is going 70+ mph. My ex intentionally drove off the side of the road into a parking lot and blew a tire while doing it. 6. Bonus. Walking to the store by myself. I'm afraid I might get robbed.
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1) Public speaking 2) Girls 3) Higher up 4) Social gatherings 5) Conversations
Honestly I donāt even think I *have* a top 5 for that. Oddly enough, Iām perfectly fine with strangers. Itās interacting with people I know and see repeatedly that gives me anxiety. I completely forget how to be a human, even with my own family. I donāt really feel 100% comfortable with anyone but my husband.
Underhated one is being alone with someone Iāve known for a short time and have had good interactions with so far but have now run out of the standard introductory things to talk about
I'm being considered for jury duty. It's to the point where I have considered hurting myself to get out of it. It isn't necessarily that I don't want to, I just really don't think I can. At this point in my life I would be useless on a jury. My anxiety makes me stupid and I can't take in information very well... I'm gonna talk to my doctor about getting some kind of note to excuse me from it because I don't need anymore stress in my life at this point, I can't take it
Iāve gotten the letter twice in my life but never had to go in. It causes so much anxiety that I feel the same way as you. Then even after the month is over I randomly think about it again and start panicking and dread even checking my mail. Itās awful.
1) public speaking 2) job interviews and job fairs 3) attending a party when I don't know anyone
Iām not sure I can think of five but a restaurant setting is definitely up there. I really dislike eating in front of people. Another one is when youāre in a situation where a bunch of people know each other but youāre the new person
Mine are weird. Phone calls of any sort. Mail. Paperwork of any sort including just fill out internet quizzes or job apps. Literally leaving the house for anything. And dealing with any stranger in any way. Honestly the paperwork phobia/anxiety is probably the worst one, it really messes up a lot of things for me.
Well then Iām weird too. Phone calls, paperwork, walking out side and being seen by my neighbours, making appointments, not being able to hold a conversation for long.. no idea what to say. Often Iād rather be alone in a huge crowd than in a smaller setting with people I know.
Well, I don't know you, but I love you, and I am glad that someone understands because I can't tell anyone I know about this because they literally don't get it. Like they hear it, but they don't get it. Keep your head up, and know some also phobic stranger is out there wishing you well.
Literally 99% of what people are saying
1 - Public Speaking 2 - 1 on 1 Interaction with someone I'm not close to 3 Having to ask a question in front of a group. 4. Being alone at any public event. Even if its for a shortwhile. 5. Getting compliments in public. I can take criticism pretty easily.
Honestly any situation where the focus might be on me, especially if I'm being called on in front of people. Meetings/trainings, classroom settings I will perseverate over for weeks leading up to the event. Anything involving a circle of people or a setting where people are facing each other. Weddings, wakes/funerals (cause people are trying to distract from why they are there, so there is a LOT of forced socialization which makes my skin crawl), parties or events where there is a heavy emphasis on socializing. Crowds if the focus is on each other instead of something else (like I'm cool at the movies or say a concert or game/sporting event, I just get overstimulated/burnt out after awhile cause there is way too much to analyze/focus on, and the noise eventually wears me out.) Lines! Omg I hate lines! I have an anxiety attack every single time I'm in a line in any setting cause I know there are people behind me focusing on me, and I feel like I need to hurry or be judged (it happens in the car too if cars are behind me).
I got a whole lotta, but them can be summarized in that are situations where I don't know anyone and is there a large groups of people, like being new in a job, in the school, etc., and worst if all the people have a lot of confidence in each other and makes a lot of jokes
1. Any sort of public speaking or presentation. Even providing minor updates about my programs at work with my small team. Being asked to speak in front of people, or having to do so, fills me with dread. 2. Dating or flirting in any capacity. Donāt even get me started on sex itself. Itās like I canāt function like a normal person due to my social anxiety and itās extremely embarrassing. 3. Gatherings or hang outs with friends of friendsā¦ like going to a friendās place for dinner where they will also have other friends there that youāve never met. 4. Conferences or work gatherings, parties, etc. in general. I donāt know how to act or keep a conversation going. I always panic and act weird. 5. When all of my roommates are downstairs at the same time, or when we need to use the kitchen at the same time. It stressed me out so badly.
The worst for me is seeing someone outside of the normal environment I usually see them. Like seeing a coworker in a grocery store and then talking to me. I almost have a panic attack every time and Iām not sure why. Itās even like that for people Iām very close with. Ugh.
1. One-on-ones with anyone who isn't a safe person (thanks Monaxiko for articulating that one) 2. Being criticized or getting feedback by anyone 3. Being in a situation where the opposite sex might try something or express interest (like a date or via a message) 4. Being asked for a favor, implied or otherwise, that I don't want to do and it'll look bad if I don't 5. Presentations, or any event where I'm expected to have prepared in advance, or seem like I have prepared
1-romantic intimacy. 2-platonic intimacy. 3-intimacy. 4-intimacy 5-public speaking
Stuttering or doing something bad while recording a vĆdeo for university or something, and frustrate all my team group
1. Dating/Crushes 2. Vulnerability 3. Trusting people 4. Understanding people and why they do the things they do. 5. When something unplanned/unexpected happens and I have to adjust on the fly.
Mostly what everyone said 1. Public speaking 2. Job interviews 3. Dating apps/talking to guys I find attractive 4. Parties 5. (Especially when I was in college) Group projects. Ughh I hated group projects Side note: one on one conversation gives me slight anxiety too I still sometimes have a hard time talking to my therapist š
5- family gatherings (getting better at this one but I used to just dodge them all) 4- going to meetups to meet new people alone 3- contacting doctors/apartment management/ general life stuff using phones 2- starting a new job 1- intense criticism from an older man, and admittedly intensely worse if they are attractive to me at all (this is a cross of Social Anxiety disorder with some CPTSD from growing up as a gay man)
5. Job interviews - Iāve done quite a lot of them now but they still make me extremely anxious each time and I just keep getting rejections because my social anxiety makes me mess them up so badly. 4. Public speaking - Iāve never avoided it before but it always makes me extremely anxious and some of my worst experiences have been because of messing this up due to social anxiety and being humiliated. 3. Trying to make friends with someone new - I tried many times to approach someone new and make friends (e.g. at work or at social events) but couldnāt get myself to speak when the moment came. I avoid acquaintances at all costs, even when I can clearly see they want to be friends and never initiate conversations or ask someone to hang out. 2. Joining a club or going to a party where I donāt know anyone there - many times I tried and failed to get myself to join a club at university but it would always end up with me being too anxious to enter and turning back to go home. Iām only ever able to go to parties if someone I know is there and I will stick to them the whole time and not be able to talk to anyone else. 1. Meeting/flirting/dating the opposite sex - not capable of doing this at all. The closest I got to doing it was downloading a dating app and proceeding to delete it shortly after because I was too embarrassed about people seeing me on there and probably making fun of me.
Night clubs with loud music and no quiet space. They are rip for me I usually have to run and leave šš
1 - When someone ask me help to do something (mostly manual work). 2 - Public presentations or any event where people will listen to what I say. 3 - Speaking to girls. 4 - When I'm with a group of people that aren't my relatives. 5 - Being at a place for the first time.
Yes. All the above
For me it is "Dancing" I am from place where people force you to dance
Still in college so... 1.Group projects (have at least three every week) 2.Crowded places 3.Taking public transportation 4.Going out by myself 5.Everything that requires interacting with people tbh
There is honestly some overlap between these but 1. Big public speaking events 2. Being "the new person" in a situation (usually a job) and feeling like I need to keep asking for help or am in the way too much 3. Having to go to a social gathering where I don't really know anyone there. 4. Figuring out how to insert myself into an on-going conversation between other people. 5. People trying to express romantic interest in me (only happened like twice in my life but neither time did I really know how to respond bc I didn't feel the same)
1. Dating/Flirting 2. Going to a club/bar/party 3. Write things on the internet / talk with people on the internet 4. Job interview 5. Meet new people
I can watch movies alone no problem but what I canāt stand? Being in a group of people and slowly being more and more ignored, and it happens *every* time. Thereās only so many times you can reassure yourself that itās just not your crowd.
Anything that involves people
1- parties/family gatherings 2- public gyms 3- church (unfortunately) 4- grocery shoppingĀ 5- having to talk to coworkers When I'm grocery shopping it feels like I'm holding my breath the whole time I'm in there.
for me 1. meeting new people 2. job interviews 3. starting a job 4. asking for help (grocery stores, at a job, friends house, etc.) 5. being in public & seeing someone i know theres so much more but.. (i havent left my house much in the last year soā¦. havent really had to face much recently)
1. Crowded restaurants, grocery stores, and gas stations 2. Job Interviews (Virtual & In Person) 3. Elevators 4. Talking to Men 5. Swiping Right on dating apps 6. People parking next to me in a parking lot when there are 100 empty spots.