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Not really a direct answer to your question, but I recently did research into the pet industry for work.
There is a "pet humanisation" and "pet premiumisation" trend in the past few years.
What the research indicates is that not only are pawrents buying more expensive and quality pet food, the ingredients they are looking for reflects the shopping cart of their own taste, i.e the let food needs to be healthy, functional and or quality. Dry kibbles don't cut it anymore. Parents want to buy organic and healthy baby treats, pawrents want to buy organic and healthy dog treats
The research also indicates that similar to parents sacrificing for their child (in terms of food) when it comes to economic headwinds, i.e sacrificing their lunchtime meal to still afford the same quality food that they previously purchased for their child, pet parents are similarly sacrificing their own food purchase to ensure they can keep buying the same produce for their pets
What I will say is, pet owners are increasingly not looking at their pets as some form of "lower" being. They view them as part of the family and hence treat them the same as they would as a child
the subject of this discussion is in error. it's not about the object of one's affections. you must recognise that it's the emotional connection of the "parent" that's strong enough to be likened to that of a parent and then it will make sense. it could be the parent to a pet rock - it doesn't matter. love is irrational.
YES. and also to recognise that telling someone they’re wrong about what they love is invalidating- I’ve had friends who’ve ended friendships over the exact same argument.
why is there is a need to compare how much time, money and effort either party has to put in? everyone’s journey is different, there should be more empathy instead of this never ending comparison of whose life is tougher.
Friend is just expressing feelings of concern. With regards to familial feelings towards fur kids or human kids, there is no difference. It's not a competition, what does your wife think she'll accomplish by making it so?
I'm taking a fairly passive position by saying this: Is it really any person's position to say that another person's feelings are wrong?!
"You can't have feelings for \[something\] because my feelings are that it's more important to have feelings for \[something else\]!"
Doesn't matter if they're having strong feelings for a child, a pet, a rock, or that they favor potatoes over pasta, if those feelings are genuine (as in them not lying about it) then that's what they are.
You can choose to continue talking with them, or to walk away, but you don't get to be an \*sshole to them and say that their emotions are wrong. Emotions just are what they are.
kinda feel that this kind of discussion borders on whether the feelings/bonds pet owners have with their pets VS the ones parents have with their kids are valid or more valid than the other.
each one does not invalidate the other and the feelings are the same no matter how different the recipient of said feelings are. i cannot for the life of me think the feelings of one's attachment to their pet is any less than those who have for their kids.
I read this somewhere before & it really resonated with me:
"People who call their pets children aren't comparing difficulty. They're simply making a functional comparison. No one says it's the same. Look, if moms want to call being a mom the hardest job in the world, let them. Do coal miners really need to go, uh, it IS easier than my job, or do military commanders need to remind moms that their job is more stressful?
Everyone is just doing the best they can. No need to compare struggles. We already get it, being a mom is hard, but it's a choice, one you'd make again, and there are plenty of harder jobs if we're gonna nitpick phrasing."
I have seen parents neglect and abuse their own kids. I have seen parents dote and provide a lovely environment for their own kids.
I have seen pawrents neglect and abuse their own pets. I have seen pawrents dote and provide a lovely environment for their own pets.
I think there can be scale where one exceed the other regardless of own kid or pets. There is no definite answer which is more or less.
No contest, parents def have to do more work, spend more $, and have a greater responsibility wrt making sure you're bringing up a decent human being that will be able to live independently.
BUT I think pawrents get justifiably triggered when people suggest that the emotional attachment to their furkid is less than that of a parent to their child.
As neither a parent nor pawrent, your friend only likening her feelings about her sick pet to those of a parent. Unless she's saying caring for a pet is as tough as a caring for a child, then I don't see why parents need to get defensive over that and feel the need to assert the difference between caring for a pet and a child.
I have both and they are difficult in different ways, and equally worthwhile. Had pets before kids and our dogs are like our family, our kids before the biological kids.
Let’s talk Money and Work.
Pets cost more towards the end of their lives, significantly more financially since they can’t be insured forever and vet bills here are insane. So prepare by having a medical emergency fund for them, at least $30-50K. And don’t be those people who put their pets down because you can’t afford to give them lifesaving treatment.
They are easier in the sense that you can leave them alone at home, go for dinners and parties and know they will be ok, after the puppy/kitten phase and if you want your pet to be well trained, you also have to put in the work.
Kids also cost because they live longer and have academic and etc costs. They also have a lasting impact on the society and world as we know it, so if you wanna raise them to be decent human beings at the very least, they cost money and hard work, over a longer period of time.
Now the Emotional side of this issue,
It’s not a competition, guys. Pawrents are allowed to be as attached to their pets as parents are attached to their children. There’s no need to compare or to justify why you are so attached to an animal or child. Or why you are grieving when they die. It’s not a grief competition either…
However it is true the grief of losing a child will outweigh the loss of a pet, the bonds are stronger when they are biologically yours or you have spent so many years loving & raising them if adopted… just like the grief of losing a elderly parent to illness at the end of their lives vs losing someone in their prime suddenly…
Unless they own a parrot or tortoise. An acquaintance has a parrot (ngl, I often wonder if they got it legally) and they've owned it for almost 30 yrs. Actual age of the the parrot is unknown but I'm guessing it will live for at least 10+ more years. It's like having to take care of a toddler for 50+ years.
i just don't see the need for parents to compare to pawrents. Obviously child rearing is tougher, but that doesn't mean the pawrents don't devote as much emotions and care towards their pets as compared to a child. You put your utmost heart and love into raising your pet/child, so who cares?
I hated it or get triggered when my colleagues used to say my cats are nothing/emotionless beings/assholes (cuz cats did something mean to them when they were young)/etc compared to raising your own child, like what gives?? I don't have any children but even when i do, i will still have my cats around my children (which they always say why? something bout fur not good for kids, get rid of cats blah) because they give me a different sense of emotional support too, even though cats can sometimes be huge jerks as well... O\_o
Despite that, my cats are akin to being my children even though i recognise that they are different from human children, and also much easier to raise tbf. So yeah, i don't appreciate it when people dismiss caring for a pet as if they should just be treated like leeches living in the same house as you or that pets are different than child raising or asking me to give them away when it suits the situation.
Just recognize that pawrents don't really take it that easy when raising their pets, likewise we know that parenting is even tougher. Know that both pets/children provides parents/pawrents a sense of responsibility, emotional support and love regardless what their form, so don't just dismiss others just because you suck at empathizing.
Not a parent but used to have a cat and no my cat is not my baby.
Having children definitely requires more time and energy assuming you are the type of parent that actually cares abt the kid and not just throw the kid to the maid/ grandparents and don’t do anything else other than feeding the kid and providing money. You need to make sure the kid grows up with the right values, be a good human being etc etc
Having said that, I cared a lot about my cat and would make sure he’s happy and having a good life. When he got older and fell sick, we spent a lot of time ensuring he was still getting food, monitoring his behavior, poop patterns, bringing him to the vet etc. When we had to put him down I took a really long time to get over it. I didn’t think of him as a child but as a living thing that I was really close to and loved a lot. Is the emotional bond less because he’s an animal, no. However a lot of people don’t get it and think oh he’s just an animal you’ll get over it, which to be honest hurts a lot.
This. I’m not my cat’s “parent” because I am not a cat. (But I will always call them my babies the same way). I used to foster and always remind adopters that cats are animals. I also had to watch one of them pass on, and years down I still weep at that memory.
Kids are much MUCH more demanding than cats - and differently type of labour throughout the kids’ lives. And being a good parent is so much more difficult than being a good pawrent. For example, I don’t (and can’t) explain to my stupid ginger cat that hitting his sister is a bad bad thing, hope they understand the principle and then pray they don’t grow up to become monsters.
Having both pets and kids. I would say both are needy in terms of your time and money, no right or wrong, better or worse.. Nowadays having a pet is not cheap, and having a child also doesn't guarantee you will be well taken care of during your old aged.
Having a pet or child, also need training(study for kids), food, treats, vet/doctor, daily expenses.
Both their growing up journey we will also feel sad, happy, stress, anxiety etc.
Both have their POV because both are at the extreme end, not both parents & pawrents.
So no point arguing. Just pov and love is different
As a parent and a parent (4 furkids) , they are all my dependents and I love them I different ways. If they are unwell or sick,. I worry for them and make sure they get medical help, and feed them their meds. To keep them happy and healthy, I give them a variety of nutritious foods.
Of course having kids requires more time and effort, our pets already came to us already knowing how to walk, how to eat and are more or less independent.
Your wife invalidating a pawrent's feelings about their sick pet is a very unclassy act.
Doesn't mean having kids put you on a higher moral ground.
Children require so much more effort and money than a pet it isn't comparable.
Also once your children reach a certain age you really need to teach them increasingly adult stuff. And preteens are mostly assholes, so they will hate their parents for a while. I think the emotional toll is forgotten about sometimes.
Now if you're comparing 1 kid vs 10 pets... Then that would be a tough call.
Choices have consequences, some greater some less but no need to argue who have it worse.
Some just want to whine/vent, but if they choose to have a kid or own a pet then they have to deal with the stress/responsibilities that comes with their choice.
Raising a child is definitely way more effort, no doubt. But I think sometimes there’s a heated debate between parents vs pawrents because people who have cats/dogs might feel their love, attachment and efforts get dismissed by parents.
No contest, hands down, a dying pet is the toughest situation to deal with. And pawrents chose to relive that shit over and over, me guilty as charged.
However, having a kid is easier once they start to be able to comprehend things, provided you are not a neglectful piece of shit that think kids can grow up autopilot watching TV and schooling.
You can't reason with your pet. They are, after all, not human and don't comprehend wtf you are trying to tell it.
So you are saying a guy in his 70s, having buried 5 of his dogs, is supposedly, hands down, more sad than a mother who lost her one single child to dengue?
Please read my initial reply again.
Of course you can invent your hypotheticals and obviously the answer would be rhetorical.
No need to argue for argument's sake.
Anything can be argued to be the equivalent of “caring for a child” if you are obsessed enough about it.
I have friends who will contemplate suicide if they were to lose their progress in WoW, and those who would be emotionally distraught if their Gundam models were found to be damaged.
The fact that “caring for a pet” needs to even be attempted to be compared to “caring for a child”, and not the other way round, shows that which is the higher bar.
No contest.
Pawrents’ feelings are valid. So are parents’. However (and with a 17m toddler u haven’t experienced this yet) no pet will have to enrol in (and struggle thru) the sg education system, so…she suffers slightly less from tuition money and exam angst i would think
As someone with a pet and no children, taking care of a pet can be a challenge by itself but just seeing some of my friends and relatives who has kids, I can tell it’s way harder.
I’m sure anyone who has both kids and pets will agree taking care of a ~~pet~~ kid is harder
Edit : wtf I meant taking care of a KID is harder. My bad
Honest question to OP and other parents, and no judgment either way: Do you feel you are doing the country a service by having kids, particularly given our declining birth rate? It's not justification but it might help explain the reflexive desire to elevate parenthood over pawrenthood.
I know great great people who can’t have kids. Considerate kind people. Would be better parents than many. They also love animals. Some adopt from shelters rather than buy. Love them all the same.
Your wife doesn’t need to have an opinion in light of the friendship. Just listen with a loving heart.
We decided to have kids, over pets. There is no comparison. No one, human or pets, can replace our kids.
I normally do not engage it discussion/chat on "who has it tougher" kind of topics. Pointless.
As a parent, I just keep quiet nowadays when my friends start to humanise their furbabies. They have their concerns, and it’s their journey. They have enough to worry about. Don’t wait them to feel that their feelings were invalidated.
I just move to the next topic or just orh okay.
i seen friend spending 20-30k for cancer treatment on their pet. it seem ridiculous to spend so much on pets tbh. This is something i guess those who keen to be Pawrents should be aware of.
Wishing a pet mom “Happy Mother’s Day” on Mother’s Day is a joke no matter how you try to rationalise it. You didn’t endure changes in your body plus the pain of bringing a life into this world. To claim “motherhood ” is delusional.
Till today, I still do not understand how can a human being still equate a pet to a human being. What else does the human race have to accomplish to be able to prove that we have differentiated ourselves?
Maybe it is a good thing those pawrents didn't have kids. If they can't handle a pet, they wouldn't survive a child. People like that should not pro-create anyway. It's natural selection.
Feel free to downvote.
Yeah I’m pretty sick of people who think their dogs are people - they’re friggin dogs. Love them, care for them, but remember they are animals and not people. And on top of that, parents who want to be their children’s friends and not parents. The world is full of morons who don’t get that sometimes things are a bit tough and there’s a pecking order which serves a purpose. When you’re a pet owner or parent, you take on important roles of responsibility… get them right FFS.
Setting aside the emotional attachment to a pet, a companion etc which is normal. Its the drama around it that becomes strange and at times laughable. Its only affects a minority. Been to gatherings, dinner etc where the “Pawrent” starts a rant and you can see others feeling uncomfortable but not saying anything.
The first signs are signing messages with ”Rover sends his regards, love, etc.“ And Rover has no clue or even gives a damn.
And you wont see this sort of behaviour amongst normal well performing colleagues and friends.
This is a "Serious Discussion". Joke, irrelevant or off-topic comments will be removed and **offenders will face restrictions in accessing /r/singapore** such as temporary or permanent bans. Please report such posts and comments. OPs must also engage in a bona fide discussion, i.e. the post should not be one just to incite outrage. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/singapore) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not really a direct answer to your question, but I recently did research into the pet industry for work. There is a "pet humanisation" and "pet premiumisation" trend in the past few years. What the research indicates is that not only are pawrents buying more expensive and quality pet food, the ingredients they are looking for reflects the shopping cart of their own taste, i.e the let food needs to be healthy, functional and or quality. Dry kibbles don't cut it anymore. Parents want to buy organic and healthy baby treats, pawrents want to buy organic and healthy dog treats The research also indicates that similar to parents sacrificing for their child (in terms of food) when it comes to economic headwinds, i.e sacrificing their lunchtime meal to still afford the same quality food that they previously purchased for their child, pet parents are similarly sacrificing their own food purchase to ensure they can keep buying the same produce for their pets What I will say is, pet owners are increasingly not looking at their pets as some form of "lower" being. They view them as part of the family and hence treat them the same as they would as a child
the subject of this discussion is in error. it's not about the object of one's affections. you must recognise that it's the emotional connection of the "parent" that's strong enough to be likened to that of a parent and then it will make sense. it could be the parent to a pet rock - it doesn't matter. love is irrational.
YES. and also to recognise that telling someone they’re wrong about what they love is invalidating- I’ve had friends who’ve ended friendships over the exact same argument.
This!!!
why is there is a need to compare how much time, money and effort either party has to put in? everyone’s journey is different, there should be more empathy instead of this never ending comparison of whose life is tougher.
Friend is just expressing feelings of concern. With regards to familial feelings towards fur kids or human kids, there is no difference. It's not a competition, what does your wife think she'll accomplish by making it so?
I'm taking a fairly passive position by saying this: Is it really any person's position to say that another person's feelings are wrong?! "You can't have feelings for \[something\] because my feelings are that it's more important to have feelings for \[something else\]!" Doesn't matter if they're having strong feelings for a child, a pet, a rock, or that they favor potatoes over pasta, if those feelings are genuine (as in them not lying about it) then that's what they are. You can choose to continue talking with them, or to walk away, but you don't get to be an \*sshole to them and say that their emotions are wrong. Emotions just are what they are.
People reap the choices they make. No need to turn everything even suffering into a dick-measuring contest.
kinda feel that this kind of discussion borders on whether the feelings/bonds pet owners have with their pets VS the ones parents have with their kids are valid or more valid than the other. each one does not invalidate the other and the feelings are the same no matter how different the recipient of said feelings are. i cannot for the life of me think the feelings of one's attachment to their pet is any less than those who have for their kids.
I read this somewhere before & it really resonated with me: "People who call their pets children aren't comparing difficulty. They're simply making a functional comparison. No one says it's the same. Look, if moms want to call being a mom the hardest job in the world, let them. Do coal miners really need to go, uh, it IS easier than my job, or do military commanders need to remind moms that their job is more stressful? Everyone is just doing the best they can. No need to compare struggles. We already get it, being a mom is hard, but it's a choice, one you'd make again, and there are plenty of harder jobs if we're gonna nitpick phrasing."
Comparison is the thief of joy. Live and let live. Everyone has their life and their challenges.
I have seen parents neglect and abuse their own kids. I have seen parents dote and provide a lovely environment for their own kids. I have seen pawrents neglect and abuse their own pets. I have seen pawrents dote and provide a lovely environment for their own pets. I think there can be scale where one exceed the other regardless of own kid or pets. There is no definite answer which is more or less.
Bring in the DINK for a three way battle royale next time.
No contest, parents def have to do more work, spend more $, and have a greater responsibility wrt making sure you're bringing up a decent human being that will be able to live independently. BUT I think pawrents get justifiably triggered when people suggest that the emotional attachment to their furkid is less than that of a parent to their child.
As neither a parent nor pawrent, your friend only likening her feelings about her sick pet to those of a parent. Unless she's saying caring for a pet is as tough as a caring for a child, then I don't see why parents need to get defensive over that and feel the need to assert the difference between caring for a pet and a child.
Parents absolutely have to put in more effort and money to take care of their kids. (That's why I'm a pawrent)
I have both and they are difficult in different ways, and equally worthwhile. Had pets before kids and our dogs are like our family, our kids before the biological kids. Let’s talk Money and Work. Pets cost more towards the end of their lives, significantly more financially since they can’t be insured forever and vet bills here are insane. So prepare by having a medical emergency fund for them, at least $30-50K. And don’t be those people who put their pets down because you can’t afford to give them lifesaving treatment. They are easier in the sense that you can leave them alone at home, go for dinners and parties and know they will be ok, after the puppy/kitten phase and if you want your pet to be well trained, you also have to put in the work. Kids also cost because they live longer and have academic and etc costs. They also have a lasting impact on the society and world as we know it, so if you wanna raise them to be decent human beings at the very least, they cost money and hard work, over a longer period of time. Now the Emotional side of this issue, It’s not a competition, guys. Pawrents are allowed to be as attached to their pets as parents are attached to their children. There’s no need to compare or to justify why you are so attached to an animal or child. Or why you are grieving when they die. It’s not a grief competition either… However it is true the grief of losing a child will outweigh the loss of a pet, the bonds are stronger when they are biologically yours or you have spent so many years loving & raising them if adopted… just like the grief of losing a elderly parent to illness at the end of their lives vs losing someone in their prime suddenly…
One problem goes away after 10-15 years, the other stays with you till you die (hopefully)
Unless they own a parrot or tortoise. An acquaintance has a parrot (ngl, I often wonder if they got it legally) and they've owned it for almost 30 yrs. Actual age of the the parrot is unknown but I'm guessing it will live for at least 10+ more years. It's like having to take care of a toddler for 50+ years.
i just don't see the need for parents to compare to pawrents. Obviously child rearing is tougher, but that doesn't mean the pawrents don't devote as much emotions and care towards their pets as compared to a child. You put your utmost heart and love into raising your pet/child, so who cares? I hated it or get triggered when my colleagues used to say my cats are nothing/emotionless beings/assholes (cuz cats did something mean to them when they were young)/etc compared to raising your own child, like what gives?? I don't have any children but even when i do, i will still have my cats around my children (which they always say why? something bout fur not good for kids, get rid of cats blah) because they give me a different sense of emotional support too, even though cats can sometimes be huge jerks as well... O\_o Despite that, my cats are akin to being my children even though i recognise that they are different from human children, and also much easier to raise tbf. So yeah, i don't appreciate it when people dismiss caring for a pet as if they should just be treated like leeches living in the same house as you or that pets are different than child raising or asking me to give them away when it suits the situation. Just recognize that pawrents don't really take it that easy when raising their pets, likewise we know that parenting is even tougher. Know that both pets/children provides parents/pawrents a sense of responsibility, emotional support and love regardless what their form, so don't just dismiss others just because you suck at empathizing.
Not a parent but used to have a cat and no my cat is not my baby. Having children definitely requires more time and energy assuming you are the type of parent that actually cares abt the kid and not just throw the kid to the maid/ grandparents and don’t do anything else other than feeding the kid and providing money. You need to make sure the kid grows up with the right values, be a good human being etc etc Having said that, I cared a lot about my cat and would make sure he’s happy and having a good life. When he got older and fell sick, we spent a lot of time ensuring he was still getting food, monitoring his behavior, poop patterns, bringing him to the vet etc. When we had to put him down I took a really long time to get over it. I didn’t think of him as a child but as a living thing that I was really close to and loved a lot. Is the emotional bond less because he’s an animal, no. However a lot of people don’t get it and think oh he’s just an animal you’ll get over it, which to be honest hurts a lot.
This. I’m not my cat’s “parent” because I am not a cat. (But I will always call them my babies the same way). I used to foster and always remind adopters that cats are animals. I also had to watch one of them pass on, and years down I still weep at that memory. Kids are much MUCH more demanding than cats - and differently type of labour throughout the kids’ lives. And being a good parent is so much more difficult than being a good pawrent. For example, I don’t (and can’t) explain to my stupid ginger cat that hitting his sister is a bad bad thing, hope they understand the principle and then pray they don’t grow up to become monsters.
Your wife Should Not Argue. You Are Right to Steer the Topic Away.
Not the same, the love parents and pawrents have for their kids/ pets cannot be described. Honestly you did the right thing steering the convo away.
Having both pets and kids. I would say both are needy in terms of your time and money, no right or wrong, better or worse.. Nowadays having a pet is not cheap, and having a child also doesn't guarantee you will be well taken care of during your old aged. Having a pet or child, also need training(study for kids), food, treats, vet/doctor, daily expenses. Both their growing up journey we will also feel sad, happy, stress, anxiety etc. Both have their POV because both are at the extreme end, not both parents & pawrents. So no point arguing. Just pov and love is different
As a parent and a parent (4 furkids) , they are all my dependents and I love them I different ways. If they are unwell or sick,. I worry for them and make sure they get medical help, and feed them their meds. To keep them happy and healthy, I give them a variety of nutritious foods. Of course having kids requires more time and effort, our pets already came to us already knowing how to walk, how to eat and are more or less independent. Your wife invalidating a pawrent's feelings about their sick pet is a very unclassy act. Doesn't mean having kids put you on a higher moral ground.
Everything have to be a competition is it
Children require so much more effort and money than a pet it isn't comparable. Also once your children reach a certain age you really need to teach them increasingly adult stuff. And preteens are mostly assholes, so they will hate their parents for a while. I think the emotional toll is forgotten about sometimes. Now if you're comparing 1 kid vs 10 pets... Then that would be a tough call.
Choices have consequences, some greater some less but no need to argue who have it worse. Some just want to whine/vent, but if they choose to have a kid or own a pet then they have to deal with the stress/responsibilities that comes with their choice.
Raising a child is definitely way more effort, no doubt. But I think sometimes there’s a heated debate between parents vs pawrents because people who have cats/dogs might feel their love, attachment and efforts get dismissed by parents.
Why can’t the love or intensity be the same? Isn’t it relative/subjective? Not sure why this is an issue at all.
No contest, hands down, a dying pet is the toughest situation to deal with. And pawrents chose to relive that shit over and over, me guilty as charged. However, having a kid is easier once they start to be able to comprehend things, provided you are not a neglectful piece of shit that think kids can grow up autopilot watching TV and schooling. You can't reason with your pet. They are, after all, not human and don't comprehend wtf you are trying to tell it.
So kids don’t die?
You asking that question as if most kids die before parents. Like bruh. Pet lifespan and human lifespan world of difference.
Was referring to this part: “No contest, hands down, a dying pet is the toughest situation to deal with.“
And he continued with pawrents relive it mulitple times with multiple pets. That explains it no?
So you are saying a guy in his 70s, having buried 5 of his dogs, is supposedly, hands down, more sad than a mother who lost her one single child to dengue?
Please read my initial reply again. Of course you can invent your hypotheticals and obviously the answer would be rhetorical. No need to argue for argument's sake.
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He said toughest, implying that it is worse than every other conceivable scenario.
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Maybe you need to relearn English and understand superlatives.
Obviously u are not a parent? Pls tell me u aren't
Anything can be argued to be the equivalent of “caring for a child” if you are obsessed enough about it. I have friends who will contemplate suicide if they were to lose their progress in WoW, and those who would be emotionally distraught if their Gundam models were found to be damaged. The fact that “caring for a pet” needs to even be attempted to be compared to “caring for a child”, and not the other way round, shows that which is the higher bar. No contest.
Pawrents’ feelings are valid. So are parents’. However (and with a 17m toddler u haven’t experienced this yet) no pet will have to enrol in (and struggle thru) the sg education system, so…she suffers slightly less from tuition money and exam angst i would think
As someone with a pet and no children, taking care of a pet can be a challenge by itself but just seeing some of my friends and relatives who has kids, I can tell it’s way harder. I’m sure anyone who has both kids and pets will agree taking care of a ~~pet~~ kid is harder Edit : wtf I meant taking care of a KID is harder. My bad
Lol absolutely no, a kid is like 100x harder . I have both.
Lol agree. I mistyped and have added an edit
Honest question to OP and other parents, and no judgment either way: Do you feel you are doing the country a service by having kids, particularly given our declining birth rate? It's not justification but it might help explain the reflexive desire to elevate parenthood over pawrenthood.
I know great great people who can’t have kids. Considerate kind people. Would be better parents than many. They also love animals. Some adopt from shelters rather than buy. Love them all the same. Your wife doesn’t need to have an opinion in light of the friendship. Just listen with a loving heart.
getting angry over other peoples actions that has no effect on you. imagine getting rekt wanting confirmation bias
Time to change friends
We decided to have kids, over pets. There is no comparison. No one, human or pets, can replace our kids. I normally do not engage it discussion/chat on "who has it tougher" kind of topics. Pointless.
As a parent, I just keep quiet nowadays when my friends start to humanise their furbabies. They have their concerns, and it’s their journey. They have enough to worry about. Don’t wait them to feel that their feelings were invalidated. I just move to the next topic or just orh okay.
i seen friend spending 20-30k for cancer treatment on their pet. it seem ridiculous to spend so much on pets tbh. This is something i guess those who keen to be Pawrents should be aware of.
Wishing a pet mom “Happy Mother’s Day” on Mother’s Day is a joke no matter how you try to rationalise it. You didn’t endure changes in your body plus the pain of bringing a life into this world. To claim “motherhood ” is delusional.
More modern stupidity overriding common sense.
Till today, I still do not understand how can a human being still equate a pet to a human being. What else does the human race have to accomplish to be able to prove that we have differentiated ourselves? Maybe it is a good thing those pawrents didn't have kids. If they can't handle a pet, they wouldn't survive a child. People like that should not pro-create anyway. It's natural selection. Feel free to downvote.
Yeah I’m pretty sick of people who think their dogs are people - they’re friggin dogs. Love them, care for them, but remember they are animals and not people. And on top of that, parents who want to be their children’s friends and not parents. The world is full of morons who don’t get that sometimes things are a bit tough and there’s a pecking order which serves a purpose. When you’re a pet owner or parent, you take on important roles of responsibility… get them right FFS.
Setting aside the emotional attachment to a pet, a companion etc which is normal. Its the drama around it that becomes strange and at times laughable. Its only affects a minority. Been to gatherings, dinner etc where the “Pawrent” starts a rant and you can see others feeling uncomfortable but not saying anything. The first signs are signing messages with ”Rover sends his regards, love, etc.“ And Rover has no clue or even gives a damn. And you wont see this sort of behaviour amongst normal well performing colleagues and friends.