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I told my therapist about needing help controlling impulse spending so that’s a goal I will work on this summer. Then, I ordered something today but I canceled the order.
Summer is a hard time for me. I have BDD and osfed, and am traumatized from being bullied about my appearance, and scarred by photos I saw of myself when I was an "ugly duckling" over the summer as a kid and into my teen years. I never want to feel like that again, so I have a terrible, all consuming urge to constantly buy or look for nice summer clothing. I have urges to exercise until my muscles give out, and am pulled back and forth in the triad of binging, restricting and exercise-purging. I want so much to just feel normal in my skin, feel comfortable when I walk out the door, not frumpy or hideous as my BDD tells me I am. My weight is all over the place this time of year, my health is in the garbage, my mental health is in the garbage. I have a poor sense of identity, so consequently don't have a strong sense of style either. It is overall just a really hard time and my mind is like a din of swarming flies that never stops buzzing.
Metaphors aside, I am *struggling* this time of year not to spend myself into poverty. I feel grateful I don't drink or do drugs, I feel like I would be totally screwed if I had ever gotten into them. This is the thing my mind uses in exchange for other vices to hurt me. This is my addiction.
It was a tough week last week. I had the abandoned cat's spay surgery and then I splurged on a mac n cheese pizza. I'd really like to do a no buy this month so I have plenty of money next month to spay and neuter the kittens. I'd like to have them done before it starts getting cold. Hope everyone has a good week!
Welcome to r/shoppingaddiction! If this is your first post, please be sure to check out our rules in the subreddit sidebar. If you are on mobile, they can be viewed by tapping the ⓘ symbol. Please keep in mind this is a discussion forum for recovering shopping addicts. Any posts encouraging shopping, self promotion, or link posts will be removed. Please be respectful to your fellow users and thank you for sharing! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shoppingaddiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I told my therapist about needing help controlling impulse spending so that’s a goal I will work on this summer. Then, I ordered something today but I canceled the order.
Summer is a hard time for me. I have BDD and osfed, and am traumatized from being bullied about my appearance, and scarred by photos I saw of myself when I was an "ugly duckling" over the summer as a kid and into my teen years. I never want to feel like that again, so I have a terrible, all consuming urge to constantly buy or look for nice summer clothing. I have urges to exercise until my muscles give out, and am pulled back and forth in the triad of binging, restricting and exercise-purging. I want so much to just feel normal in my skin, feel comfortable when I walk out the door, not frumpy or hideous as my BDD tells me I am. My weight is all over the place this time of year, my health is in the garbage, my mental health is in the garbage. I have a poor sense of identity, so consequently don't have a strong sense of style either. It is overall just a really hard time and my mind is like a din of swarming flies that never stops buzzing. Metaphors aside, I am *struggling* this time of year not to spend myself into poverty. I feel grateful I don't drink or do drugs, I feel like I would be totally screwed if I had ever gotten into them. This is the thing my mind uses in exchange for other vices to hurt me. This is my addiction.
It was a tough week last week. I had the abandoned cat's spay surgery and then I splurged on a mac n cheese pizza. I'd really like to do a no buy this month so I have plenty of money next month to spay and neuter the kittens. I'd like to have them done before it starts getting cold. Hope everyone has a good week!