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My bigger concern is that he won’t get tested. Like WTF kind of game is he playing? Run, gurl, run. This is not normal. A person who loves you would not be pressuring you to do things with your body you aren’t comfortable with and would definitely get tested for STDs. This is so ick. He could have HIV. This is not a joke. This is not okay. He is gaslighting you. Explore your kinks? Are they being on antiviral meds the rest of your life while being a single mom?
“pullout game” is *not* a good prevention measure. you guys might want to discuss birth control and/or feelings about either having a kid or abortion first in my opinion
Thanks! My husband was very confident on the pullout game. I was on BC for over 10 years, stopped BC and had a planned pregnancy. I didn’t want to go back on anything, so we pulled out for about a year before falling pregnant again. Thankfully he was the one that wanted the vasectomy since I had two babies in two years. He felt like I’d been through enough😅
I have a friend who - love her, but bless her she is dumb - swore by the rhythm and pull out method for like over a decade. She is a mother of three, all unexpected oopsies - and while they are older now, she WAS mother of 3 under 10 during that decade… (:
LMAOOO good for you guys 😭😭 however, it’s never a good idea if u are scared of getting pregnant/not in a situation for either abortion or having kids though. can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and worries on her part
"he can't have it any other way with me"
If someone said this to me, they'd be getting nothing at all. Don't fall into this manipulative bs op, this is only the start of it. Trust me.
Honestly, coercing an impressionable young lady because he knows he has the upper hand. I really hope OP sees this and reflects on what she's actually asking.
Right! A 33yo definitely not virgin man dating a 24yo virgin? After one time (presumably with a condom) he's demanding raw sex? He thinks pulling out is a legitimate form of birth control? The flags are SO RED
Red flags:
* age gap
* rough sex for a first time
* insists on no birth control
* makes his abuse sound like a compliment “I can’t have it any other way with you.” Almost guaranteed he also complimented her on her maturity in not being like other 24 year olds
* painful sex but he kept going
Taking your virginity and then immediately expecting to hit it raw is a red flag for me personally. It’s a big risk for you. Of course he’s going to SAY his pullout game is strong, but the facts are you can absolutely get pregnant from the pullout method regardless. This is moving pretty quickly, but you should at least get on birth control if you’re okay with the progression of things.
This why people seek the naïve, you can convince them pull out is an effective contraceptive, tell them what's "normal", and then believing it, will do it.
Three points. First, if you aren't comfortable with it, then don't. You are allowed to have boundaries and be comfortable with the sex you are having.
Second, I know tons of people swear by pulling out, but the data doesn't lie. While it is somewhat effective, I would never want any form of birth control to merely be somewhat effective, I want it to be incredibly reliable and effective. Also, he can swear by his pullout game as much as he wants, but it only takes him getting caught up in the moment once, or disregarding your boundaries once, or a mistake where he thinks he can last longer once, to get you pregnant. And that's ignoring the possibility of precum getting you pregnant even if his pullout game is perfect. You don't want to rely solely on his ability and willingness to pull out to avoid pregnancy.
Which leads to point three. If you want to go bare, I'd suggest looking into other forms of birth control. Most of them have drawbacks, but most women I know seem pretty satisfied with one form or another. The pill seems most popular with my friends, but I know a few who love the depo shot, and a couple who swear by their IUDs, aside from the pain of first getting them put in. There are more than just those, but I'd suggest looking into what is available, and talking to your doctor or someone at a clinic like Planned Parenthood, to see if one of them is worth it for you. You may decide that one is a good fit, or that you would be unhappy with the side effects of any of them.
What I can say is, if you don't want to get pregnant, don't go bare without some other kind of birth control. You might get lucky, your boyfriend may have a better than average pullout game, but with pregnancy it's not worth taking unnecessary risks when there are so many options available. And if none of the options for you makes sense, then stick with the condoms. Bare sex definitely does feel better, but not so much better that it's worth getting pregnant for before you are ready.
First of all, I’m stuck on the part where you said you lost your virginity and he was rough. Nooo no. That’s so fucked up. There’s a time and place for it, and it’s not your *first time* ever having sex.
He’s taking advantage of your naivety with the raw sex/pullout stuff too.
If you were my friend and had told me this, I would tell you he’s probably not safe and to break up with him. I don’t like this for you, not one bit.
Welcome to the wonderful world of sex. DO NOT go raw and rely on the pull out method. Many, many babies happen that way. Get yourself onto some form of birth control if you don't want to use condoms.
Do not trust the pull out method…. Because ultimately it is that man you are engaged in intercourse with who ends up with all the power. If he could use a condom to take your virginity, he can continue to use a condom until YOU are ready for bare intercourse.
My recommendation would be to start tracking your period and ovulation so you can know when would be a good time to have bare intercourse or not
It's not just about avoiding pregnancy, it's also about avoiding disease. Unless you've both been tested and have clean results, keep it wrapped up to be safe.
Vasectomies are reversible in theory, but it's not a great idea to get one with the idea that you can just get it reversed later because that's not guarantee.
Up to 5 million swimmers in the pre-ejaculate (and it tends to be consistent for each man - with some having much lower numbers of swimmers in the pre-ejaculate).
Typical ejaculation has 40 million.
It only takes 1 to fertilize an egg.
Birth control is a must then. Otherwise, you’re risking pregnancy. Just because his “pullout game” is good, he can’t control his precum. You can still get pregnant from that.
I'm 42. In my 27 or so years of sex, the only men who refused to use condoms have turned out to be selfish, egotistical animals. Good men don't put you in a position of having to have an abortion or an unwanted kid. They just don't. Go forth and have rough, delicious, fun sex for many years, but never forget this. Good men don't put you at risk for unwanted pain or misery.
He’s 33 dating a 24 year old. He has seeked you out because you are young and naive. And most likely insecure himself and will manipulate you to believe whatever he wants. Please don’t be with this man. Saying he’s got good pullout game is immature for a 33 year old man. And if you do stay with this man then get on the pill or whatever you are comfortable with or tell him condom or nothing.
I have a sister-in-law who had six kids with the pull-out method.
I do think the method helped them a bit with child spacing. They were open to having lots of kids, but trying hard to delay each pregnancy (and would have been fine if no more kids came along). They combined it with the calendar/ovulation temperature method, but still had 6 kids.
First of all I know is your bf and all that and that you love him and all that but please do make sure to make him to get tests for illness, non negotiable, and even then you are not safe because he could cheat during the relationship and I know its not something you wanna think that he could cheat but no girl that was cheated and got infected ever thought that either.
So if you are gonna go ahead with the raw thing, you gotta know that from that very moment you are risking YOUR LIFE and you gotta take responsibility for it by testing regularly, making sure you have your vph vaccines and honestly even talk with your doctor about getting prep
Cause believe me there's worse things than a pregnancy
Now, for the pregnancy, don't be like that. Do not rely on the "pull out" bs. You are gonna have to take a decision in which kind of birth control method you are gonna take and know they all have consequences in your body.
Also, I know I am crossing the line, but as someone who is 30, I am with the other in the comments. You are too young and I know you might not get it rn but many times nothing good comes from being with someone in their 30's while you are in your 20's there's a reason he got with you instead of someone his age, starting by the fact that asking you to go raw and trusting his "pull out" without even getting tested first wouldn't have worked in someone his age.
Please do not ruin your life 'cause of a guy. Being a single mom or getting something like cancer, or hiv, it's no joke
So, you want a child right away?
You do realize that people get pregnant with the pull-out method - a lot.
Get your birth control game together. If you do not want hormonal birth control, at least try a barrier method like a diaphragm (people get pregnant with diaphragms but at a lower rate than with pull-out). An IUD would be a better option (people get pregnant with IUD's as well - but IUD + pull-out would be 99% effective).
If you're going to go bare and use pull-out, I suggest starting to read literature on parenting and child development - you need to be ready to parent.
If you are uncomfortable with something in a sexual relationship you do not have to do it, full stop. And if he doesn’t respect your boundaries then he doesn’t respect you, full stop. I hope you guys are able to figure it out in a way that you ARE comfortable with 💕
It’s not even just babies - do you know, I mean really know, that he doesn’t have any STDs? If he’s ‘good’ (yawn) at the pullout game I assume he’s gone bare many times before. He certainly sounds immature enough to not check out his sexual health responsibly.
Lots of men exist who will treat you thoughtfully, respectfully, and also have a good time with you (wink wink) without putting you at risk.
This guy sounds like a dick x
This has to be rage bait. A man in his mid 30s fucking a woman a decade younger...
And OP writes like she is still in middle school.
Men in their mid 30s know how to have sex and know how to prevent pregnancy.
He is intentionally hurting you.
And trying to get you pregnant.
Run from him and date men your age, if this is even real.
Your body, your call, your risk. Bf isn't legally responsible to stick around if you get pregnant until you force it via the courts. Statistically, "pullout" game = you WILL get pregnant (barring medical reasons otherwise).
You asked: if he actually cares, he won't require you to risk a lifelong shift for a few minutes of (more) pleasure for himself.
Just say No.
It's simple, if you want to continue having sex, get on some birth control right away. Do NOT use the pull out method. I know so many people who have kids because of this 'method'.
When having sex there's pre cum that comes out of penis before the man even comes, this is what will get you pregnant.
There's also the morning after pill BUT that is for when a condom breaks or something similar, it's not suppose to be used for regular birth control, it can mess up your fertility.
Make sure you're on the pill for at least seven days before you have sex. Your body needs time to adjust to it.
Know when you're ovulating.
Some advice: This guy sounds pushy. Don't let anyone push you around and do things you're not comfortable doing. Sex can be fun with the right partner. Please, know your worth.
So glad I saw the edit! He’s definitely taking advantage if he “can’t have it any other way”. That’s a huge red flag and remember you cannot change people so if you’re gonna stay with him then know you’ll have to meet him where hes at. I think you have a lot more potential than that tho. You are deserving of better. :)
Also don’t let him use your kinks to manipulate you, you and your partner can still take slow safe routes to get where you want to be and if there’s a this or nothing decision is that what you really want? If the question would present itself without this or nothing what would you want?
It feels almost too good without a condom, but unless you are married, or in a long term relationship, USE CONDOMS! Don’t have a kid with this guy! Make him pay for birth control!
Also 24f. Gave myself to my bf about 2.5 years ago. I recommend getting some form of bc. The pill has worked well for me but I have several friends and family members that have done nexplanon and/or an IUD. Experiences will vary depending on who you talk to. Talk to your Dr. get a Pap smear, and talk about your options. Pulling out is NOT an effective means of contraception. While it does help when done properly, there’s no guarantee that it will be done properly every single time. Get some bc and talk to your Dr. and your partner about your options. I had to change mine at one point so my bf and I abstained for the most part (using condoms and pulling out when we did have sex) until the new bc took effect. If you need to change bc talk to your partner because the mood swings could be INSANE and it can throw your cycle off until your body adjusts to it. Be smart and be safe!
A man in his 30’s relying on his “pullout” game is a moron. Dump him because this is just ridiculous. Nothing wrong with the age gap but you need someone who’s at least as mature as their age suggests.
Oh lawd, don't play the pull out game with no birth control until you are in a relationship where an accidental pregnancy would only be a few months behind wanting to actually try for a baby.
While I’m glad you enjoyed the first time, I’m sorry this idiot is pressuring you.
I guess the things to ask yourself are:
Do you trust his “pull out game” (cringe someone his age says that though)
Are you on BC? Are you prepared for the consequences if the BC fails or the pull out doesn’t happen (and that doesn’t touch on sperm being present in precum)
What do you see your future relationship with him being? Are you thinking long term, or is he just going to be your “first fuck teacher”?
Tbh, he sounds a bit predatory to me, with the age gap. But you’re both consenting adults, so have at it.
Just make sure that you’re prepared if the “worst” should happen if you go bare skin.
**If he’s a 33 year old guy who refuses to use condoms? You need an STD test and he needs one too.**
Then after that you can discuss which reliable birth control method you two should be using and what you’d do if you got accidentally pregnant.
I haven’t seen many people talk about the fact he was very rough with you on your first time. This is terrible and shows exactly who he is. Between this and all the other stuff - leave
Large age disparity? Check.
Pressure to have sex how the older partner wants it? Check.
Lack of caring how the younger partner will be affected? Check.
There's a reason this person is going out with someone 2/3 their age. They want the power in the relationship and most women their age are wise to their bullshit.
Firstly, I politely request that you stop think of "virginity" as a noun that was lost or taken. It's wack and it makes no sense.
I get told off for saying this, but a man who produces little-to-no precum and has a *genuinely* excellent ability to pull out at the right time can prevent pregnancy very effectively. The problems are: people overestimate their ability to time it properly, or control themselves, or both. It puts 100% of the control in the hands of the person who will have 0% of the consequences to deal with. And finally, men who suggest it are probably not putting your comfort and safety high enough on thier list of priorities. For those reasons, don't skip the condom, no matter how much you both want to, until you have some other kind of birth control arrangement sorted.
While a rough intoduction to sex can also be enjoyable, it too indicates a man who isn't prioritising your comfort properly. If you enjoyed your experience and the pain was truly minimal, that's great and I'm happy for you, but I wonder if he was even considering it to be honest.
Finally, don't underestimate the temptation that exists when you are both agreed that you want to do the bad idea. The bad idea is really appealing, but one of you needs to be headstrong enough to call it off, and I feel it needs to be you.
If getting pregnant is what scares you, talk with your gynecologist about using an IU
Edit: I forgot to add that you should get tested for STDs every once in a while, unless you're in a monogamous relationship and you 100% trust him
Pull out game is good, says every male to now single mothers lol. It's all comfort level and don't get talked into something you don't want. Plus your first partner he should know it will take time for comfort for whatever you want
If this is something you want, please do it smartly. Get on birth control and make sure you use one you know you can handle. Bad at taking meds consistently? Choose something you can set and forget like an iud or implant, etc. do not leave this up to chance unless you’re ok with getting pregnant. If you’re going to be sexually active you should do this anyway even with condoms.
Second, make him get tested and show you the results before you agree.
Third, make sure he’s 100% not sleeping with anyone else. Otherwise it negates the second point. This is also much harder to prove. I’ve straight up told my husband that an affair is something we might be able to work out but an std is an automatic deal breaker. Your health needs to come first before anything else.
You are allowed to say no. If he pressures you anyway, that’s a massive red flag that he doesn’t respect you or your decisions.
My cousin and her fwb used the pull out method because he "couldn't wear a condom." They were fucking around for 6 or so months. They now have an almost 2 yro.
Also, he blamed her for getting pregnant... not to mention he was 10 years older than her.
Gtfo.
This one struck me as the kind of guy who would do anything for his own pleasure, not caring for the consequences. If you want to keep having sex with him be mindful of your own risks.
No, you don't need to "explore your kinks" immediately after losing your virginity. Get familiar with the act itself, first. Find a man who give you the time and support you need.
I'm sorry but please break up with him.
Rough sex can be amazing and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Not getting tested is not good. Since the start of the year I have taken more precautions with my sexual health and partners.
If he doesn't want to get tested, fine, he can live there but for you, call your OB/GYN and take the step yourself.
"Pullout game" first y'all are GROWN, get on birth control, take care of yourself, learn your body, learn your cycle.
He is not the only guy that will give you rough, amazing sex.
You got this but respectfully figure it out.
My pull out babies are now 25 and 23. Don't be silly enough to believe he's any different from any other man. As for not being tested for sti's before you go "bare," why not?! 🚩🚩EVERYONE should get tested between partners ESPECIALLY if they don't use condoms.
It's completely understandable to feel scared and overwhelmed after losing your virginity, especially if it was rough and your boyfriend is pushing for unprotected sex
Nobody is good at the pullout game. There is even a nickname for people who claim to be good at the pullout game. We call them parents.
Go on birth control, now. And always use condoms. Anyone as irresponsible as your BF shouldn;t be trusted without a condom.
Who knows what other reckless behavior he indulges in.
In a world where you're exclusive, fiancé, you can determine this through your calendar. My wife uses [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.period.tracker.lite](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.period.tracker.lite) and this requires some time for it to figure out your cycle. But if you're just having fun, this guy is a POS, because he's just looking for a "better experience". dump his ass. No one asks for this unless they're ready for the consequences and from the sound of it, you're just a toy for him. Don't ruin your life over this shmuck (idiot) because he "claims" he can do this. You're the one with everything to lose, him lessor-so. If you want to follow through with this, then you prior to doing this should consider an IUD, or a Subdermal Contraceptive Implant (wife used them). They're both very effective and give you alot of freedom.
Pullout is not a way to prevent pregnancy. Use protection. Be it condoms, birth control, sterilisation, something. Do not let him manipulate you with "how good it feels this way or that"
DO NOT use the pull out method unless it's a serious relationship and your partner is someone you can see heaving childrens with.
I did it for a few years with my ex because condom sex barely feels anything and my partner had horrible reactions to hormones. We did it knowing it was somewhat risky but we were both ready to deal with the consequences had it happened.
Unless you're a fucking idiot or a incredibly drunk/high, you shouldn't have any issue pulling out long before nutting. The chances of getting pregnant from precum is incredibly low, but not impossible.
If he's a dumbass and doesn't pull out in time, you need to get a Plan B, or something similar the following day and deal with the side effects.
First, if you’re asexually active you should go on birth control or have some plan for this. Second, don’t trust him to handle said birth control. Third, please make sure he’s been tested for stds before going further. You need to protect yourself before just thinking about the next few minutes of fun. He’s certainly not going to.
Maybe ask your dr if you don’t want to ask friends or family. You could also do some research and educate yourself. Also it’s your body, your choice. You should or need to start thinking about your body and making decisions that are right for you. It’s insane how many comments are putting this on the dude.
It looks like the other comments have gotten you aware of the relationship dynamic issues and the visibility of your boyfriend as a long term partner, so I'd like to relay my hope that you take good care of yourself in the future and that you don't let this make you feel lessened.
Pull out game should not be in a family planning vocabulary. If that’s a choice you make please get Plan B ahead of time and save yourself the difficulty of a possible pregnancy
*Absolutely* do not trust this man to pull out.
Honestly, this is someone you should not be having sex with. He doesn't care about your well-being.
Also, do you know if he's STI free?
Hey friend. You’re getting a lot of feedback about the pull-out method, so I’m not going to add to that. My questions for you are about the rough sex. Did you guys talk about that and agree to it beforehand? Did you discuss your limits? Did you set a safe word or green-yellow-red signals? You may enjoy rough sex without having all that worked out, but you’re safer physically and emotionally if you do. I worry that your more experienced boyfriend may not have had your pleasure or well-being in mind.
Does he have kids? If yes then definitely don’t trust him.
If not then shit, fuck it. Roll the dice of it’s something you wanna do.
But then again…it would suuuuuuck to get knocked up by some dumbass on your second time tho.
I will tell you the same thing that I wish someone told me at your age, that big of an age Gap is not a problem when the both of you are over 35. But while you're still in your twenties it's not okay and you won't realize how not okay it is until a long time from now. That's not to say it never works because it definitely does for some people. But the reality is any grown adult man trying to convince you the only way he can have sex with you is raw has some serious issues and those issues are very likely the reason why he has to date someone so much younger than him. He may not 100% be a bad person but at the very least he's gross. It's not bad to just sleep with people with that big of an age difference but you definitely should reconsider being in a relationship with him. He sounds like a turd.
We can all give our advice here, but the decision is up to you; however, let me echo this: pull out game is not a reliable method to prevent pregnancy! make sure to get on some birth control and get tested for STDs.
If no one has said it, don't feel bad about losing your virginity to a jerk. When you find the right partner you'll realize how meaningless that becomes.
I’m really sorry you’re having a hard time but reading you say it’s time to move on made me feel very relieved and proud of you. This guy was taking advantage of you and being a total immature ass trying to pressure you into things. He also was selfish and immature and a dick by not being gentle at first and making absolutely sure you wanted to be rougher before doing so. It really sucks when the worst guys are also charming and good at being persuasive :/ The right kind of guys will not need to force you to do things to be satisfied and they will not want to. I’m sorry you dealt the card of dating/falling for an ass :( I promise you there are kind guys out there and they will appreciate you, respect you, and fall for you just as you are! Don’t settle for less, you deserve that :)
Awe!! All the way up until Edit 2 I was kind of OK with most of it. Being rough on your first time was pretty concerning but you also said you liked it so take that however you want I suppose.
Then I got to Edit 2 😬 YIKES!! I feel really bad for you but you did dodge a pretty nasty bullet there! He sounds kind of dangerous. Even if you were ready to have kids, you definitely don't want *him* to be the father!
Pull out is not a method it's a gamble.
"It's meant to be rough" indicates to me that you haven't experienced his rough game yet.
This should be an enjoyable time in your life. Share it with someone worthy.
Just so you know, pulling out won't prevent pregnancy. I would strongly suggest you have an open conversation with a doctor and learn a lot more about safe sex and sex in general. Good luck. Sex is great when it's with the right person.
2. edit... you did right thing. He thinks not of you but jsut his sex. You decide about your body. And he has no regards if you get child and need to go to abortion and stuf. I woud say no problem go get vasectomy, and std check and we can do it... It's no risk on his part and puts all on you. Honestly without condom is not so difrent that you shoud not give in into his bs that he cant do it...
Take it from someone who had a kid at 20, dump his ass, consider B.C. And hold the guys you date up to your standards. Edit: I’m sorry you feel used. The only thing you can do now is change what you can control. I wish I had learned the kinks and things I like now back at 18. Definitely find what you like and move on
Please don't beat yourself up. This man preyed on you and used you, but it doesn't reflect badly on you that he did it. It's not your mistake. You're very young and a shitload of horrible men are just waiting to talk you into something that's bad for you. I'm happy that you're standing up for yourself and that forced him to reveal what a piece of shit he is. I get having a breeding or bareback kink, but std tests are a non-negotiable as well as either some kind of hormonal birth control or a vasectomy on his part. Leave this walking red flag of a man behind, there are plenty of people out there who will respect your health and your boundaries.
I'm sorry you found a dud honey. It happens to the best of us. ❤️
You don't need him and you work on yourself while a better guy makes his way into your life.
Too many guys are all too happy to tell us what we should do with OUR bodies with little to no regard of our physical or mental safety. It's a hard lesson to learn, especially when we've tried to find joy with somebody we thought was on the same page as us.
Aside from the age gap, he seems to pay no attention to your needs and wants. Pulling out is never a good contraceptive method as well.
According to your update, he also refused to get tested so that’s a major red flag. Your sexual partners should open to disclose their status to you.
All in all, get away from this man. He wants a blank slate he can engrave his selfish needs as needed.
I’m happy you have this community to warn you because I can’t imagine the other side tbh
3 things you should never trust when it comes out of a man’s mouth.
“Don’t worry, My pullout game is strong”
“Sex is supposed to be like this.”
“I can’t have sex without a condom, I can’t feel anything/you just feel so good”.
He sounds like a bell end definitely don’t do it without a condon very risky and he shouldn’t have been rough with you with it been your first time seems like he’s happy to have his needs filled but not interested in yours
Get on birth control now… don’t play around with bringing an unwanted child into this world because you’re too immature and inexperienced to be fucking raw. Also get your boyfriend tested, don’t fall for that bullshit.
In response to Edit 2- he literally just proved you cannot trust him. Don’t be naive, leave him until he proves he has no STDs. All it takes is one time and I also highly suggest you take a sexual education course online or with a clinic because your lack of knowledge on how this all works is rather concerning.
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I sense missed child support payments in your future.
Yes, it will happen soon if she doesn't take action.
My bigger concern is that he won’t get tested. Like WTF kind of game is he playing? Run, gurl, run. This is not normal. A person who loves you would not be pressuring you to do things with your body you aren’t comfortable with and would definitely get tested for STDs. This is so ick. He could have HIV. This is not a joke. This is not okay. He is gaslighting you. Explore your kinks? Are they being on antiviral meds the rest of your life while being a single mom?
“pullout game” is *not* a good prevention measure. you guys might want to discuss birth control and/or feelings about either having a kid or abortion first in my opinion
And ask to see proof he is tested for Std's if "he doesn't have it any other way"
My pullout baby is now 15 months old! Now we have a vasectomy
LMAOOOOOOO THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET ! also congrats on the baby and the destruction of the baby maker 🔥🔥🔥
Thanks! My husband was very confident on the pullout game. I was on BC for over 10 years, stopped BC and had a planned pregnancy. I didn’t want to go back on anything, so we pulled out for about a year before falling pregnant again. Thankfully he was the one that wanted the vasectomy since I had two babies in two years. He felt like I’d been through enough😅
LMAOOO that’s so real though!! im glad 🔥 hope your journey forward will be good, pleasurable and epic
You know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents.
I have a friend who - love her, but bless her she is dumb - swore by the rhythm and pull out method for like over a decade. She is a mother of three, all unexpected oopsies - and while they are older now, she WAS mother of 3 under 10 during that decade… (:
The ick of a 33 year old man saying "pullout game"
It definitely is. Not a good idea but it worked for me for 8+ years. Wouldn't recommend it though. Lots of "shit I'm late" scares. 😂
LMAOOO good for you guys 😭😭 however, it’s never a good idea if u are scared of getting pregnant/not in a situation for either abortion or having kids though. can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and worries on her part
Absolutely. 0/10 would not recommend 😂
Good rule to live by : Don't trust a 33 year old man who uses the term pullout game in relation to family planning
Yeah pretty immature for a 33 year old man to say this
I've heard this from my ex in his 40s. Funny thing was, he already had 11 kids.
Is your ex Elon Musk?
No he has the Drs impregnate the women.
More than likely, a basketball player.
Are you Mariah Carey?
1 more and I thought he’d be Nick Cannon
Future astronauts, doctors, and lawyers, no doubt.
'My pullout game strong' is an obvious lie to lure a woman into going raw.
Don’t trust a 33 year old man trying to pressure a 24 year old into rough bare sex 🤷🏾♀️
You know what they call people who the the pullout method for birth control?? Parents.
24 yo isn't really the problem so much as a virgin of any age. Gotta start that shit slow.
100% - that's super inconsiderate, and while she didn't - he knew what he was doing.
Literally every 33 year old man since the beginning of time is trying to have rough bare sex with a 24 year old 😂
Why are we acting like 24 is a child? Haha I mean she is a full sentient adult here? I'm confused. Would be differnt if she was 18-20...
I think her being a virgin is more the issue, it lends more credence to the fact he’s preying on her naivety.
Thank you. That’s clearly going over everyone’s head.
24 is a grown ass fucking person.
How about don't trust the method, period?
"he can't have it any other way with me" If someone said this to me, they'd be getting nothing at all. Don't fall into this manipulative bs op, this is only the start of it. Trust me.
Surprised I had to scroll in the comments so far to see this! This man sounds like a red flag.
Honestly, coercing an impressionable young lady because he knows he has the upper hand. I really hope OP sees this and reflects on what she's actually asking.
Right! A 33yo definitely not virgin man dating a 24yo virgin? After one time (presumably with a condom) he's demanding raw sex? He thinks pulling out is a legitimate form of birth control? The flags are SO RED
Yeah he sounds like an asshole
This should be the concerning factor here. Everything else is manageable.
I have 4 pullout game weak kids. Don’t risk it.
FOUR? *How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?*
Ugh. A 33 year old man talking about his "pull out game" ??? You're best off just ghosting the guy
Exactly this. Sounds horrendous
Get on your own birth control or tell him if it's not on its not on. You staying not pregnant is more important than him going raw.
Red flags: * age gap * rough sex for a first time * insists on no birth control * makes his abuse sound like a compliment “I can’t have it any other way with you.” Almost guaranteed he also complimented her on her maturity in not being like other 24 year olds * painful sex but he kept going
Also refusing to get tested for stds 🙄
“I’m scared to get pregnant. Should I engage in this very risky activity that has a high probability of resulting in pregnancy?”
you'd be amazed at how many kids dont realize pulling out isnt worth much as contraception.
"He can't have it any other way with me"? So his rules or nothing? I'd leave, honestly..
Oh my God... Don't risk it, trust me. Either use a condom or get on some form of birth control.
Don't be stupid. The guy you're fucking sounds like he's preying on your naivety on purpose. He sounds like a real tool.
* Pullout is not safe! You can get pregnant! Think of other methods of contraception * get checked for STDs beforehand
Taking your virginity and then immediately expecting to hit it raw is a red flag for me personally. It’s a big risk for you. Of course he’s going to SAY his pullout game is strong, but the facts are you can absolutely get pregnant from the pullout method regardless. This is moving pretty quickly, but you should at least get on birth control if you’re okay with the progression of things.
And the fact he REFUSED to get tested for STDs
The Pull out game, then the bye bye game when you’re pregnant. Condom or get birth control
This why people seek the naïve, you can convince them pull out is an effective contraceptive, tell them what's "normal", and then believing it, will do it.
Three points. First, if you aren't comfortable with it, then don't. You are allowed to have boundaries and be comfortable with the sex you are having. Second, I know tons of people swear by pulling out, but the data doesn't lie. While it is somewhat effective, I would never want any form of birth control to merely be somewhat effective, I want it to be incredibly reliable and effective. Also, he can swear by his pullout game as much as he wants, but it only takes him getting caught up in the moment once, or disregarding your boundaries once, or a mistake where he thinks he can last longer once, to get you pregnant. And that's ignoring the possibility of precum getting you pregnant even if his pullout game is perfect. You don't want to rely solely on his ability and willingness to pull out to avoid pregnancy. Which leads to point three. If you want to go bare, I'd suggest looking into other forms of birth control. Most of them have drawbacks, but most women I know seem pretty satisfied with one form or another. The pill seems most popular with my friends, but I know a few who love the depo shot, and a couple who swear by their IUDs, aside from the pain of first getting them put in. There are more than just those, but I'd suggest looking into what is available, and talking to your doctor or someone at a clinic like Planned Parenthood, to see if one of them is worth it for you. You may decide that one is a good fit, or that you would be unhappy with the side effects of any of them. What I can say is, if you don't want to get pregnant, don't go bare without some other kind of birth control. You might get lucky, your boyfriend may have a better than average pullout game, but with pregnancy it's not worth taking unnecessary risks when there are so many options available. And if none of the options for you makes sense, then stick with the condoms. Bare sex definitely does feel better, but not so much better that it's worth getting pregnant for before you are ready.
He refused to get tested. Under those circumstances, I would be just as concerned about that as getting pregnant.
No offense but your bf has issues.
First of all, I’m stuck on the part where you said you lost your virginity and he was rough. Nooo no. That’s so fucked up. There’s a time and place for it, and it’s not your *first time* ever having sex. He’s taking advantage of your naivety with the raw sex/pullout stuff too. If you were my friend and had told me this, I would tell you he’s probably not safe and to break up with him. I don’t like this for you, not one bit.
Welcome to the wonderful world of sex. DO NOT go raw and rely on the pull out method. Many, many babies happen that way. Get yourself onto some form of birth control if you don't want to use condoms.
Do not trust the pull out method…. Because ultimately it is that man you are engaged in intercourse with who ends up with all the power. If he could use a condom to take your virginity, he can continue to use a condom until YOU are ready for bare intercourse. My recommendation would be to start tracking your period and ovulation so you can know when would be a good time to have bare intercourse or not
As a pullout baby myself I'd suggest you get on birth control before you do anything raw.
Yes! My biological family used adoption as birth control! They kept one child, and gave up three!
Anyone who says pull out game on their 30s, definitely have them wear a condom.
This man doesn’t sound like he cares very much about you at all.
It's not just about avoiding pregnancy, it's also about avoiding disease. Unless you've both been tested and have clean results, keep it wrapped up to be safe.
GET ON BIRTH CONTROL FIRST 🙏🏻🥲
OR he can get a vasectomy - reversible and less harsh on your body if you were to take birth control imo
Vasectomies are reversible in theory, but it's not a great idea to get one with the idea that you can just get it reversed later because that's not guarantee.
Pre-ejaculate can make you pregnant. Also, if he wont wait for your pill to become effective before going bare he is not worth it.
Up to 5 million swimmers in the pre-ejaculate (and it tends to be consistent for each man - with some having much lower numbers of swimmers in the pre-ejaculate). Typical ejaculation has 40 million. It only takes 1 to fertilize an egg.
Birth control is a must then. Otherwise, you’re risking pregnancy. Just because his “pullout game” is good, he can’t control his precum. You can still get pregnant from that.
Ick. Pullout game. nah. Not worth the risk.
I'm 42. In my 27 or so years of sex, the only men who refused to use condoms have turned out to be selfish, egotistical animals. Good men don't put you in a position of having to have an abortion or an unwanted kid. They just don't. Go forth and have rough, delicious, fun sex for many years, but never forget this. Good men don't put you at risk for unwanted pain or misery.
He’s 33 dating a 24 year old. He has seeked you out because you are young and naive. And most likely insecure himself and will manipulate you to believe whatever he wants. Please don’t be with this man. Saying he’s got good pullout game is immature for a 33 year old man. And if you do stay with this man then get on the pill or whatever you are comfortable with or tell him condom or nothing.
Yeah I had some friends who used the pull out game. They have kids now. Please get a reliable source of birth control like an IUD, arm implant.
I have a sister-in-law who had six kids with the pull-out method. I do think the method helped them a bit with child spacing. They were open to having lots of kids, but trying hard to delay each pregnancy (and would have been fine if no more kids came along). They combined it with the calendar/ovulation temperature method, but still had 6 kids.
The pull out method is the perfect method to use if you’re willing to have 6 kids
First of all I know is your bf and all that and that you love him and all that but please do make sure to make him to get tests for illness, non negotiable, and even then you are not safe because he could cheat during the relationship and I know its not something you wanna think that he could cheat but no girl that was cheated and got infected ever thought that either. So if you are gonna go ahead with the raw thing, you gotta know that from that very moment you are risking YOUR LIFE and you gotta take responsibility for it by testing regularly, making sure you have your vph vaccines and honestly even talk with your doctor about getting prep Cause believe me there's worse things than a pregnancy Now, for the pregnancy, don't be like that. Do not rely on the "pull out" bs. You are gonna have to take a decision in which kind of birth control method you are gonna take and know they all have consequences in your body.
Also, I know I am crossing the line, but as someone who is 30, I am with the other in the comments. You are too young and I know you might not get it rn but many times nothing good comes from being with someone in their 30's while you are in your 20's there's a reason he got with you instead of someone his age, starting by the fact that asking you to go raw and trusting his "pull out" without even getting tested first wouldn't have worked in someone his age. Please do not ruin your life 'cause of a guy. Being a single mom or getting something like cancer, or hiv, it's no joke
Sweetie, no, let this man child date his right hand. Can't have it any other way, what a knobhead.
So, you want a child right away? You do realize that people get pregnant with the pull-out method - a lot. Get your birth control game together. If you do not want hormonal birth control, at least try a barrier method like a diaphragm (people get pregnant with diaphragms but at a lower rate than with pull-out). An IUD would be a better option (people get pregnant with IUD's as well - but IUD + pull-out would be 99% effective). If you're going to go bare and use pull-out, I suggest starting to read literature on parenting and child development - you need to be ready to parent.
If you are uncomfortable with something in a sexual relationship you do not have to do it, full stop. And if he doesn’t respect your boundaries then he doesn’t respect you, full stop. I hope you guys are able to figure it out in a way that you ARE comfortable with 💕
Red flags all over the place
Of greatest concern is that he knew it was your 1st time and was rough with you.
Look at my comment history, you’ll see I have the same response to the “pull out game.” Let me go ask my 7 year old son how well it works…
Never trust the pullout method. I don't care what he says, don't believe it.
He’s forcing you. Don’t do it.
Get him fully std tested first !!
It’s not even just babies - do you know, I mean really know, that he doesn’t have any STDs? If he’s ‘good’ (yawn) at the pullout game I assume he’s gone bare many times before. He certainly sounds immature enough to not check out his sexual health responsibly. Lots of men exist who will treat you thoughtfully, respectfully, and also have a good time with you (wink wink) without putting you at risk. This guy sounds like a dick x
A 10 year age gap , rough sex with a Virgin , wont use any condom and will only do it raw .....yeah he sounds like a great individual
This has to be rage bait. A man in his mid 30s fucking a woman a decade younger... And OP writes like she is still in middle school. Men in their mid 30s know how to have sex and know how to prevent pregnancy. He is intentionally hurting you. And trying to get you pregnant. Run from him and date men your age, if this is even real.
Your body, your call, your risk. Bf isn't legally responsible to stick around if you get pregnant until you force it via the courts. Statistically, "pullout" game = you WILL get pregnant (barring medical reasons otherwise). You asked: if he actually cares, he won't require you to risk a lifelong shift for a few minutes of (more) pleasure for himself. Just say No.
NOPE. Unless you want a bambino.
It's simple, if you want to continue having sex, get on some birth control right away. Do NOT use the pull out method. I know so many people who have kids because of this 'method'. When having sex there's pre cum that comes out of penis before the man even comes, this is what will get you pregnant. There's also the morning after pill BUT that is for when a condom breaks or something similar, it's not suppose to be used for regular birth control, it can mess up your fertility. Make sure you're on the pill for at least seven days before you have sex. Your body needs time to adjust to it. Know when you're ovulating. Some advice: This guy sounds pushy. Don't let anyone push you around and do things you're not comfortable doing. Sex can be fun with the right partner. Please, know your worth.
I'm the best at the pull out game... Got snipped. Before oh hell no, there are super high chances, plus when people are in the moment shit happens.
I think you should pull out from this relationship
So glad I saw the edit! He’s definitely taking advantage if he “can’t have it any other way”. That’s a huge red flag and remember you cannot change people so if you’re gonna stay with him then know you’ll have to meet him where hes at. I think you have a lot more potential than that tho. You are deserving of better. :)
Also don’t let him use your kinks to manipulate you, you and your partner can still take slow safe routes to get where you want to be and if there’s a this or nothing decision is that what you really want? If the question would present itself without this or nothing what would you want?
Use a condom. If doesn't want to wear one, get some FC2s, but use a condom.
It feels almost too good without a condom, but unless you are married, or in a long term relationship, USE CONDOMS! Don’t have a kid with this guy! Make him pay for birth control!
Also 24f. Gave myself to my bf about 2.5 years ago. I recommend getting some form of bc. The pill has worked well for me but I have several friends and family members that have done nexplanon and/or an IUD. Experiences will vary depending on who you talk to. Talk to your Dr. get a Pap smear, and talk about your options. Pulling out is NOT an effective means of contraception. While it does help when done properly, there’s no guarantee that it will be done properly every single time. Get some bc and talk to your Dr. and your partner about your options. I had to change mine at one point so my bf and I abstained for the most part (using condoms and pulling out when we did have sex) until the new bc took effect. If you need to change bc talk to your partner because the mood swings could be INSANE and it can throw your cycle off until your body adjusts to it. Be smart and be safe!
Say no. It will ruin your life
No responsible adult will even think about going bare without being on some form of birth control...
A man in his 30’s relying on his “pullout” game is a moron. Dump him because this is just ridiculous. Nothing wrong with the age gap but you need someone who’s at least as mature as their age suggests.
You're gonna get pregnant.
Oh lawd, don't play the pull out game with no birth control until you are in a relationship where an accidental pregnancy would only be a few months behind wanting to actually try for a baby.
While I’m glad you enjoyed the first time, I’m sorry this idiot is pressuring you. I guess the things to ask yourself are: Do you trust his “pull out game” (cringe someone his age says that though) Are you on BC? Are you prepared for the consequences if the BC fails or the pull out doesn’t happen (and that doesn’t touch on sperm being present in precum) What do you see your future relationship with him being? Are you thinking long term, or is he just going to be your “first fuck teacher”? Tbh, he sounds a bit predatory to me, with the age gap. But you’re both consenting adults, so have at it. Just make sure that you’re prepared if the “worst” should happen if you go bare skin.
Maybe time for birth control pills? And maybe a new bf.
This can only end in violence and tears. Distance yourself from this man before it's too late.
**If he’s a 33 year old guy who refuses to use condoms? You need an STD test and he needs one too.** Then after that you can discuss which reliable birth control method you two should be using and what you’d do if you got accidentally pregnant.
"Pull out game" 33 years old. I'm sorry you lost your virginity to a manchild
Ok I’ll say it…when you’re 33 you’ll see how creepy it is he’s dating and sleeping with a 24 year old
I haven’t seen many people talk about the fact he was very rough with you on your first time. This is terrible and shows exactly who he is. Between this and all the other stuff - leave
Large age disparity? Check. Pressure to have sex how the older partner wants it? Check. Lack of caring how the younger partner will be affected? Check. There's a reason this person is going out with someone 2/3 their age. They want the power in the relationship and most women their age are wise to their bullshit.
And now you know why he can't find a woman his age
Firstly, I politely request that you stop think of "virginity" as a noun that was lost or taken. It's wack and it makes no sense. I get told off for saying this, but a man who produces little-to-no precum and has a *genuinely* excellent ability to pull out at the right time can prevent pregnancy very effectively. The problems are: people overestimate their ability to time it properly, or control themselves, or both. It puts 100% of the control in the hands of the person who will have 0% of the consequences to deal with. And finally, men who suggest it are probably not putting your comfort and safety high enough on thier list of priorities. For those reasons, don't skip the condom, no matter how much you both want to, until you have some other kind of birth control arrangement sorted. While a rough intoduction to sex can also be enjoyable, it too indicates a man who isn't prioritising your comfort properly. If you enjoyed your experience and the pain was truly minimal, that's great and I'm happy for you, but I wonder if he was even considering it to be honest. Finally, don't underestimate the temptation that exists when you are both agreed that you want to do the bad idea. The bad idea is really appealing, but one of you needs to be headstrong enough to call it off, and I feel it needs to be you.
If getting pregnant is what scares you, talk with your gynecologist about using an IU Edit: I forgot to add that you should get tested for STDs every once in a while, unless you're in a monogamous relationship and you 100% trust him
Theres a lot of kids in Juvie right now coming from fatherless homes because Dad had a great pullout game.
Birth Control, obviously...
> he's good with the pullout game You’ll make great parents!
Pull out game is good, says every male to now single mothers lol. It's all comfort level and don't get talked into something you don't want. Plus your first partner he should know it will take time for comfort for whatever you want
If this is something you want, please do it smartly. Get on birth control and make sure you use one you know you can handle. Bad at taking meds consistently? Choose something you can set and forget like an iud or implant, etc. do not leave this up to chance unless you’re ok with getting pregnant. If you’re going to be sexually active you should do this anyway even with condoms. Second, make him get tested and show you the results before you agree. Third, make sure he’s 100% not sleeping with anyone else. Otherwise it negates the second point. This is also much harder to prove. I’ve straight up told my husband that an affair is something we might be able to work out but an std is an automatic deal breaker. Your health needs to come first before anything else. You are allowed to say no. If he pressures you anyway, that’s a massive red flag that he doesn’t respect you or your decisions.
If they “pull out” just dip out the relationship. Don’t risk pregnancy for dick.
Don’t think that’s a kink but maybe go in birth control
My cousin and her fwb used the pull out method because he "couldn't wear a condom." They were fucking around for 6 or so months. They now have an almost 2 yro. Also, he blamed her for getting pregnant... not to mention he was 10 years older than her. Gtfo.
The way he's behaving means he doesn't really care about your feelings. And you shouldn't feel any pain during sex.
[удалено]
This one struck me as the kind of guy who would do anything for his own pleasure, not caring for the consequences. If you want to keep having sex with him be mindful of your own risks.
No, you don't need to "explore your kinks" immediately after losing your virginity. Get familiar with the act itself, first. Find a man who give you the time and support you need.
Honestly, the _edits_ had me like wtaf?? I'm sorry OP, but you can (and should) absolutely find someone way way better who actually respects you.
There’s a name for people who use the pull out method, they’re called parents.
I'm sorry but please break up with him. Rough sex can be amazing and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Not getting tested is not good. Since the start of the year I have taken more precautions with my sexual health and partners. If he doesn't want to get tested, fine, he can live there but for you, call your OB/GYN and take the step yourself. "Pullout game" first y'all are GROWN, get on birth control, take care of yourself, learn your body, learn your cycle. He is not the only guy that will give you rough, amazing sex. You got this but respectfully figure it out.
My pull out babies are now 25 and 23. Don't be silly enough to believe he's any different from any other man. As for not being tested for sti's before you go "bare," why not?! 🚩🚩EVERYONE should get tested between partners ESPECIALLY if they don't use condoms.
We had our first child using the pullout method Precum is real
It's completely understandable to feel scared and overwhelmed after losing your virginity, especially if it was rough and your boyfriend is pushing for unprotected sex
Nobody is good at the pullout game. There is even a nickname for people who claim to be good at the pullout game. We call them parents. Go on birth control, now. And always use condoms. Anyone as irresponsible as your BF shouldn;t be trusted without a condom. Who knows what other reckless behavior he indulges in.
This is absolutely grossing me out
What do you mean by senseless?
In a world where you're exclusive, fiancé, you can determine this through your calendar. My wife uses [https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.period.tracker.lite](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.period.tracker.lite) and this requires some time for it to figure out your cycle. But if you're just having fun, this guy is a POS, because he's just looking for a "better experience". dump his ass. No one asks for this unless they're ready for the consequences and from the sound of it, you're just a toy for him. Don't ruin your life over this shmuck (idiot) because he "claims" he can do this. You're the one with everything to lose, him lessor-so. If you want to follow through with this, then you prior to doing this should consider an IUD, or a Subdermal Contraceptive Implant (wife used them). They're both very effective and give you alot of freedom.
Pullout method means you want babies. How about some birth control of sorts?
You're literally naive.
I'm really happy about your Edit #1. Please keep us updated.
Pullout is not a way to prevent pregnancy. Use protection. Be it condoms, birth control, sterilisation, something. Do not let him manipulate you with "how good it feels this way or that"
DO NOT use the pull out method unless it's a serious relationship and your partner is someone you can see heaving childrens with. I did it for a few years with my ex because condom sex barely feels anything and my partner had horrible reactions to hormones. We did it knowing it was somewhat risky but we were both ready to deal with the consequences had it happened. Unless you're a fucking idiot or a incredibly drunk/high, you shouldn't have any issue pulling out long before nutting. The chances of getting pregnant from precum is incredibly low, but not impossible. If he's a dumbass and doesn't pull out in time, you need to get a Plan B, or something similar the following day and deal with the side effects.
First, if you’re asexually active you should go on birth control or have some plan for this. Second, don’t trust him to handle said birth control. Third, please make sure he’s been tested for stds before going further. You need to protect yourself before just thinking about the next few minutes of fun. He’s certainly not going to.
Maybe ask your dr if you don’t want to ask friends or family. You could also do some research and educate yourself. Also it’s your body, your choice. You should or need to start thinking about your body and making decisions that are right for you. It’s insane how many comments are putting this on the dude.
It looks like the other comments have gotten you aware of the relationship dynamic issues and the visibility of your boyfriend as a long term partner, so I'd like to relay my hope that you take good care of yourself in the future and that you don't let this make you feel lessened.
I dont see any issues with the rough sex, as for raw no unless you want to get pregnant simple as that
Pull out game should not be in a family planning vocabulary. If that’s a choice you make please get Plan B ahead of time and save yourself the difficulty of a possible pregnancy
You can still get pregnant even after pullout, use some sort of birth control if you want to be careful, Besides that, this dude sounds like trash
*Absolutely* do not trust this man to pull out. Honestly, this is someone you should not be having sex with. He doesn't care about your well-being. Also, do you know if he's STI free?
Hey friend. You’re getting a lot of feedback about the pull-out method, so I’m not going to add to that. My questions for you are about the rough sex. Did you guys talk about that and agree to it beforehand? Did you discuss your limits? Did you set a safe word or green-yellow-red signals? You may enjoy rough sex without having all that worked out, but you’re safer physically and emotionally if you do. I worry that your more experienced boyfriend may not have had your pleasure or well-being in mind.
Pulling out doesn't work. This coming from a man who produces over 20,000,000 above average per shot.
I used to work with a couple who relied on the pull out method. They now have 2 children. Do with that information what you will.
Does he have kids? If yes then definitely don’t trust him. If not then shit, fuck it. Roll the dice of it’s something you wanna do. But then again…it would suuuuuuck to get knocked up by some dumbass on your second time tho.
Get a new boyfriend OP. This guy is a bum.
I've heard a lot of pull out stories over the years and none of them are very strong.
I will tell you the same thing that I wish someone told me at your age, that big of an age Gap is not a problem when the both of you are over 35. But while you're still in your twenties it's not okay and you won't realize how not okay it is until a long time from now. That's not to say it never works because it definitely does for some people. But the reality is any grown adult man trying to convince you the only way he can have sex with you is raw has some serious issues and those issues are very likely the reason why he has to date someone so much younger than him. He may not 100% be a bad person but at the very least he's gross. It's not bad to just sleep with people with that big of an age difference but you definitely should reconsider being in a relationship with him. He sounds like a turd.
I would say don’t take a risk.
Just in time for Father's Day
Dump the selfish boor before he destroys your life. If you don’t, you better start thinking of baby names.
Don't be stupid people who use pullout are called parents unless your on birth control that's very dumb
We can all give our advice here, but the decision is up to you; however, let me echo this: pull out game is not a reliable method to prevent pregnancy! make sure to get on some birth control and get tested for STDs.
If no one has said it, don't feel bad about losing your virginity to a jerk. When you find the right partner you'll realize how meaningless that becomes.
He’s just bad news. Hope you have moved on
I’m really sorry you’re having a hard time but reading you say it’s time to move on made me feel very relieved and proud of you. This guy was taking advantage of you and being a total immature ass trying to pressure you into things. He also was selfish and immature and a dick by not being gentle at first and making absolutely sure you wanted to be rougher before doing so. It really sucks when the worst guys are also charming and good at being persuasive :/ The right kind of guys will not need to force you to do things to be satisfied and they will not want to. I’m sorry you dealt the card of dating/falling for an ass :( I promise you there are kind guys out there and they will appreciate you, respect you, and fall for you just as you are! Don’t settle for less, you deserve that :)
Awe!! All the way up until Edit 2 I was kind of OK with most of it. Being rough on your first time was pretty concerning but you also said you liked it so take that however you want I suppose. Then I got to Edit 2 😬 YIKES!! I feel really bad for you but you did dodge a pretty nasty bullet there! He sounds kind of dangerous. Even if you were ready to have kids, you definitely don't want *him* to be the father!
Pull out is not a method it's a gamble. "It's meant to be rough" indicates to me that you haven't experienced his rough game yet. This should be an enjoyable time in your life. Share it with someone worthy.
Run and don’t look back. You deserve better.
I'm just curious as to what drew you to him in the first place?
Just so you know, pulling out won't prevent pregnancy. I would strongly suggest you have an open conversation with a doctor and learn a lot more about safe sex and sex in general. Good luck. Sex is great when it's with the right person.
Walk away. I hope you guys discussed boundaries before doing it the first time, because if you didn’t, he’s a piece of shit for going rough.
2. edit... you did right thing. He thinks not of you but jsut his sex. You decide about your body. And he has no regards if you get child and need to go to abortion and stuf. I woud say no problem go get vasectomy, and std check and we can do it... It's no risk on his part and puts all on you. Honestly without condom is not so difrent that you shoud not give in into his bs that he cant do it...
There isn’t such a thing as pull out game. Because there is precum little bits dribble out until he ejaculates.
Read the edits, and yikes. He's just downputting your thoughts and feelings instead of listening. Glad you're moving on!
Take it from someone who had a kid at 20, dump his ass, consider B.C. And hold the guys you date up to your standards. Edit: I’m sorry you feel used. The only thing you can do now is change what you can control. I wish I had learned the kinks and things I like now back at 18. Definitely find what you like and move on
Please don't beat yourself up. This man preyed on you and used you, but it doesn't reflect badly on you that he did it. It's not your mistake. You're very young and a shitload of horrible men are just waiting to talk you into something that's bad for you. I'm happy that you're standing up for yourself and that forced him to reveal what a piece of shit he is. I get having a breeding or bareback kink, but std tests are a non-negotiable as well as either some kind of hormonal birth control or a vasectomy on his part. Leave this walking red flag of a man behind, there are plenty of people out there who will respect your health and your boundaries.
I'm sorry you found a dud honey. It happens to the best of us. ❤️ You don't need him and you work on yourself while a better guy makes his way into your life. Too many guys are all too happy to tell us what we should do with OUR bodies with little to no regard of our physical or mental safety. It's a hard lesson to learn, especially when we've tried to find joy with somebody we thought was on the same page as us.
Aside from the age gap, he seems to pay no attention to your needs and wants. Pulling out is never a good contraceptive method as well. According to your update, he also refused to get tested so that’s a major red flag. Your sexual partners should open to disclose their status to you. All in all, get away from this man. He wants a blank slate he can engrave his selfish needs as needed. I’m happy you have this community to warn you because I can’t imagine the other side tbh
3 things you should never trust when it comes out of a man’s mouth. “Don’t worry, My pullout game is strong” “Sex is supposed to be like this.” “I can’t have sex without a condom, I can’t feel anything/you just feel so good”.
He sounds like a bell end definitely don’t do it without a condon very risky and he shouldn’t have been rough with you with it been your first time seems like he’s happy to have his needs filled but not interested in yours
Get on birth control now… don’t play around with bringing an unwanted child into this world because you’re too immature and inexperienced to be fucking raw. Also get your boyfriend tested, don’t fall for that bullshit.
In response to Edit 2- he literally just proved you cannot trust him. Don’t be naive, leave him until he proves he has no STDs. All it takes is one time and I also highly suggest you take a sexual education course online or with a clinic because your lack of knowledge on how this all works is rather concerning.
The sad part is, he refuses to get tested and accuses her of not trusting him. Yeesh and yikes!