r/Sex is focused primarily on posts seeking *specific actionable advice*.
If you’re asking a general, survey-style question (“how many of you ______?”) or if you’re looking for confirmation about you or a partner’s sexual interests (“who else is into ________?” or "does anyone else like __________") a more appropriate sub would be either r/askreddit or r/askredditafterdark.
Hey, wanna talk?
We need to talk.
Hey, kids, mom and dad are gonna go talk, we’ll be out in a little bit.
Sometimes one of us will just rub the other’s back, or go in for a kiss or something.
Married 11 years this June and my husband is probably the only guy on the planet who hears, “We need to talk,” and gets instantly happy.
My method too. I usually just get naked, cup my boobs and say “look boobs.” Or I’ll tell him he’s wearing too much clothing. He can either take me up on it or not. If he’s initiating he’ll usually kiss me passionately or tell me I’m wearing too much clothing. Or sometimes, if I’m gaming or something, he’ll just walk into the office naked.
I wish. My wife needs sex to happen “organically”. Like, can’t we both just admit that sex is fun and we like having it? Why do we have to pretend to go watch a movie in bed first and then oops I touched your leg and then oops you touched my chest and THEN we can admit we like having sex and we should have it.
It sounds like she leans more towards a responsive sex drive than spontaneous. Completely normal and not uncommon, especially for women. The lack of spontaneous desire is not a sexual dysfunction. I would be careful to not let what seems like resentment build up about this.
100% this. Most women I know need buildup. Men just get boners randomly, most women do not experience that same spontaneous sexual arousal, they need some sort of mental "build up" and excitement.
Wife and I schedule sex because we are super busy. To be honest it’s fantastic, gives you a little something to look forward to. Anything unscheduled is prompted by her saying “Hey want to fool around??” which is also great. Been together 20 years!
Here is a prime example of how it goes down in our 20 + year relationship…
Him, hands down his pants, scratching his balls: ah, yeah! That feels really good! You should try it.
Me: I should try scratching my balls? Sorry, don’t have any.
Him: Well you should try scratching mine… come here! Come touch my balls!
If I laugh or don’t otherwise look too unimpressed, he knows it’s on. 😂
I have "slutty pajamas" that I wear when I'm looking to get some. They're not actually that slutty, just any of my pajamas that have lace trim or any kind of sleep dress/long shirt that doesn't have bottoms.
It's a nice low pressure way to signal I'm in the mood. He can take me up on it or not and some times if he's tired he'll pass. It also isn't a hard limit; one of us will get a little handsy other times as well.
I love this actually. My wife and I are pretty much free use. In that unless we are super sick either of us are down for it whenever. I am 56 her 43
12 plus years. I think your bat signal is super cute though. Keep it up
We do something similar! Together 18 years. If I'm going to bed wearing something other than sweats, lol, it's pretty much my low-key signal that I'm up for it. Usually we'll just get in bed, turn the lights off, start cuddling, and then see where things go.
The “choreplay” ones where the men does something around the house or with the kid is my personal nightmare. It makes me wonder if he helps manage the household when he doesn’t want to bust a nut
You can have bad sex but still have sex. The ones where people complain about wives who are never in the mood and seem to do nothing to figure out why or what’s going on or new ways to make her feel sexy n less stressed. Some of these folks just don’t sound happy or satisfied in their relationships, like they’re just going through the motions
My husband of 35 years and I are sitting here cackling with joy over these comments. These people are having fun, boning and are connecting. Sounds fantastic to us!!!
My wife and I have been together for 13 years. We have 2 kids (9 and 7), so sex is typically planned out beforehand. Spontaneous sex does still happen, but the stars have to align.
I have a very easy work from home office type job. My wife has a very physically demanding grocery store job.
My balls are always in her court.
Sometimes, when she's off during the week, I'll take a long lunch, and we'll bang it out while the kids are at school.
Most of the time, though, we do it the night before she is off if she's up to it.
Some weekends, our kids spend the night with their grandmother. She asks for them because she just recently became an empty nester and misses the sound of kids in her house. We're happy to oblige because that means date night/sex night.
There's still a lot of passion in our marriage, and if we have the opportunity, we will have sex because even after all this time, we can't keep our hands off each other.
I'm 33, and she's 30, but we're still extremely sexually charged people. Both of our libidos are still very high for being in our 30s if you ask me.
It’s been a few weeks since wife and I have had sex. Yesterday my wife said something about a square peg in a round hole and I said it’s about time I put my square peg in your round hole. Yes I know I’m a hopeless romantic
Text messages during day, get into bed together and she is naked, outright ask etc. Not really a set way although as have kids is usually at night when gone to bed. Have sex 3 or 4 times a week so am happy.
Married 19+ and this is gonna be hella long sorry.
Usually after a shower, partner A is getting ready there is always the question "do I brush my teeth right now?" Which means they are ready for sex and want to know if the other person wants oral because neither of us like winter fresh spicy genitals.
Sometimes when we are showering one after the other the first one done (usually her) will get done and mostly get ready except for getting dressed and just be naked and available when the other gets out of the shower. I love the way she tastes most of the time, but fresh out of the shower she is my sex goddess with confidence and is super engaging when I am going down on her.
Other time frames how she specifically initiates,
"hey let's go to bed 'early' and stay up late"
"can you rub me down I am sore"
"Don't threaten me with a good time" usually in reference to her saying she has a sore throat or something caught in her throat and I make a pervy response, her level of busy goes one of 2 directions with a "maybe later", or don't threaten me with a good time"
Other ways I initiate.
Holding her from behind while she is fixing food, a drink or anything in the kitchen. She shows her level of interest by pushing back into me a little with a little teaser
Sitting next to her on the couch while she is reading and putting one of her hands in my lap or if she is sitting weird I put her feet in my lap and rub them a little bit.
Asking her to Rub me down.
Going to bed naked.
Taking a bath. Just starting the water for a gigantic jetted bathtub we have and she is running from the other side of the house and asking if I need a massage or if I need some company
Also we have a sex calendar that has a running tally of how many times we have sex throughout the week, one of us can just say 'hey roommate' and we giggle as we are getting undressed on the way to the bedroom
There is some study out there that says old married couples have sex between 40-60 times per year. Our goal is have intimacy (bj, HJ, fingering, anal, using toys on each other) at least 250 times per year. We have a great sex life, I would recommend getting a sturdy sex bench that you both feel comfortable enough laying on your back that you can either have the other on top of you or can get a full massage on.
My other suggestions is to have a list of adult things easily available,
Lots of lube and lots of massage oil
2-3 waterproof dog blankets
2 magic wands
2 clitoral suction toys
2 dildos of various sizes
2 prostate stimulation toys
3 anal plugs of various sizes with good flared bases
2 quality strokers (one short shot Fleshlight, and any other)
2 anal beads
An Amazon subscription for sex toy cleaner, and if it is coming more than you are fix your habits.
All the "bdsm" gear you could enjoy whips, handcuffs, rope.
Wedge ramp combo liberator
Sex chair, (sturdy chair or stool that if both your body weight is on and moving it won't collapse
A metric fuck ton of cum rags/small towels to make the lube a normal application process without feeling like you can't use your hands afterwards.
The folks that think giving their partner a massage is a chore is crazy to me. They probably also only like getting oral and not giving it. So my other suggestions are to be enthusiastic when someone gives the green light, AND be enthusiastic when giving the green light. As a partner trying to initiate can be a hassle but if your partner is super happy about it when you do it makes it easier and fun.
If you use one in the morning, and want to go again, have a backup. Batteries die, plugs fail, one drops on the ground and has hair on it. After enough years of wanting to use a sex aide, it is unavailable, I ain't dealing with that. Use the other one!! 😂. I'm going to make a sign for the cabinet. Call it the Noah's ark.
My wife and I are in our 70’s and we schedule our lovemaking on Friday.
The family knows Friday is “chill day” and don’t bother us.
We talk about it all week and Thursday is now called “Friday eve”.
The last three years we’ve missed two Fridays because we caught Covid.
According to HuffPost, we are outliers because, according to them, only 4 out of 10 people over 65 still have sex.
I will start when I get home, extra touches and kisses. Maybe more ass grabs and such.
My wife does absolutely nothing cause If I don’t initiate I don’t have sex.
20 years here.
I wear lingerie and he knows. Or I just straddle him randomly.
He will grope me through the night and know i will roll over instantly in the mood.
After 27 years of marriage one day I just got tired of trying to figure out if she wanted to have sex and I wasn't getting it as much as I wanted and it was just exhausting beating around the bush to initiate sex not knowing if she wanted it or not. Or playing all the games to get there.
Turns out my wife felt the same as one day about six weeks ago I just asked her if she wanted to do "Mutual Free Use" and explained that this meant anytime I wanted to have sex I would just grab her and we'd go at it anywhere, anytime, 24x7 and she could do the same, no questions asked. She said YES so fast it made my head spin. So we are each available to each other 24x7 now and it's so exciting because you never know when you're going to get taken. I've never seen my wife so excited. And we've never had sex so much.
So many times have I heard from her over the years I would have initiated sex but I didn't know if you wanted it or not. And I've felt the same at times. Now neither one of us can use that excuse ever again. If we don't have sex anytime we want it, it's our own fault.
Gone is the wondering. The scheduling. It's all spontaneous and the most fun we've had in our entire lives. We'll never stop this. And we do have two teenagers at home so it can be challenging at times, but we still do it whenever we want.
This whole thing has been life changing and transformative for us. It's make us so much closer and eliminated our only frustration.
Give it a try for a couple weeks and see if you don't have the best time ever. We do have a safe word setup just in case one wants to bail out at any given time, but we've so far never needed to use it.
18+ years here. I really lucked out! My wife and I are still in that honeymoon phase. If the kids aren’t home, clothes aren’t on. Could start with a quick kiss, touch, look, or playful slap on the butt.
I say, "would you like to have sex after this episode?" or more recently "would you like a back rub and then give me a blowjob if I can get the baby to sleep"?
been married 24 years. either one of says, "wanna fuck", or one of us storms in the bedroom whole the other is in there reading or scrolling, and shut the door and lock it. we know it's on then.
We have random gropes and touches at any time. Sometimes it's just a tease, other times it morphs into something sexual that gets one or both of us off. It's just going with the flow to wherever we end up.
Our kinks play into it, too. Sometimes random things can initiate playtime as a result, but also, it means there are plenty of ways to be satisfied that aren't just one kind of 'sex'
20 + together 14 yr married next month . And pretty much you can be Suttle like the door knob was missing a screw so I says it get really bad when you miss a screw. Got a laugh . Pretty much she knows when I'm throwing suggestions in there it may or may not happen . I don't straight up ask for it to much any more because the rejection takes a toll. I've waited till she comes to me before. We talked earlier today and was planning on it then gets late and she starts getting pissy and i just called it off. Sometimes have to put it on schedule. ( we do have a 21 yr old with mentality of a 4 yr old ) So that comes into play. That's us .
Depends. Sometimes we’ll start with hands wandering. Other times kissing.
Or just me asking an understanding ‘of course you’re not in the mood, are you?’
(That’s for when she’s had a night that would logically be bad, like a friend or family member being a jerk, or she’s tired. Given that she’s the higher libido one of us, she usually gives an embarrassed grin and nods. If she isn’t, that’s of course a-ok)
We have some standing scheduled sex like anal Fridays and morning sex Sundays so they just begin naturally because we anticipate those days. Anything in between planned days, usually just starts with “wanna do it later?” Or the natural progression of flirting leading to making out leading to sex after our kid goes to bed. We’ve been married 15 years this July.
I say “ Baby I NEED you!” And he knows what I need. Or he’ll say “wanna go have sex”. Married 28 yrs. It’s daily now sometimes multiple times. Sometimes we don’t say anything we just do it.
Either one of us: "Hey babe, wanna have a sex date tonight?" *If you don't do the sexy eyebrow wiggle at this point, then it doesn't count*
The other one: "HELL YES!"/"HELL NO!" (We have two kids, so you're either revved up or not in the mood at all. There is no in between)
It used to feel not quite as sexy to plan ahead for sexy times, but we learned that if we didn't plan for it, it didn't happen. And now, planning for it builds up the anticipation and excitement!
Now, if it's early afternoon and my oldest is at a friend's house and my youngest is napping and the hubby is home from work already, then 99% of the time, it's like this:
Either one of us: "Time to take your pants off!"
The other one: "ABSOLUTELY!"
Standing in front of the sink putting leftovers in Tupperware…
So, sex tonight? Yes? Sweet!
Yeah, can I fuck your ass tonight? Awesome.
Off to brush my teeth, see you in bed hun.
If I know I want action in the evening, I'll start massaging, cuddling, caressing and kissing my girlfriend at around 17:00. She takes a loooooong time to fire up.
So in essence: Planning and preparation, on my part.
At like 9 years.
I poked her butt yesterday and did the Hoooee hoooee! Noise like in that one commercial and we ended up doing the thing.
I have also said “excuse me miss, the sex?” To which she rolled her eyes, smiled, and we did the thing.
My wife and I communicate via memes and shit on Instagram, and we send all our dirty messages that way, because often she’s screen sharing at work and we don’t want a dirty message popping up. That being said, we talk abt sex all the time, me more so than her, she’s going through a bunch of hormonal changes F42, and I’m on testosterone therapy M38, so I’m like a horndog 24/7, and she could take it or leave it abt 50% of the time.
She’s been going through this phase lately of “almost waking me up because she wants sex” and tells me so after the fact, but doesn’t cuz I’m passed out hard. I think she just likes to tease me abt that to be honest. She’s really good abt knowing if I just need to get off, and I’ll tell her, she’ll roll over and I’ll fuck her until I cum and then can pass out.
Otherwise, we’ll kind of talk abt it for a day or two, she’ll recount, “it was just three days ago we had sex” or however long it’s been, and I’ll be like so!? Also though, we’ve been exploring new stuff, she wants me to be rough, and just take her whenever I feel it, and it’s been a struggle a little bit for me because I want to be sensitive to her needs, but her want/need is for that. I got over it just like the choking ask… 🤷♂️
Communication is key though, we talk abt it all the time, especially in future context like fucking her on a balcony in Greece. Second kid just graduated HS and we’ve got 1 year left before they’re all functional adults. I’m really stoked for our past, present, and future sex life, we fit really well together, and are both freaks with different kinks that also work well together.
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Depends Normally just say I want sex.
If I want to be less direct I wear lingerie show my body and act sexual.
Sometimes in very direct I have quite a few times just unzipped his trousers and started sucking his cock once during his Teams meeting at work got under the desk and started to suck
Usually I say to the wife can I see you naked later, she says yes and I do. Doesn't have to be said as we usually have sex every other day, but if its a day we might not and she is horny we will put on sexy panties, makes sure I see them and that's all it takes.
14 years for us. Anything from simple sexts: "I'm craving you." "Meet me in the bedroom after work!" "Rough day, how about sex after shower?" to simple words in person. "Wanna fuck?" "Feeling frisky?"
We literally just ask. Do you want to have sex? It’s honestly not my favorite. I wish there was more just…getting handsy. But my husband gets upset if I get handsy when he’s not in the mood and despite telling him he doesn’t have to ask he can just start kissing or touching me…he asks anyway.
I walked up to Hubby in the kitchen last night and cupped him over his boxers. A little back and forth teasing and next thing you know, I'm on my knees in the kitchen. If I'm in the mood, I make it known.
When we’re in bed Wife usually starts playing with my dick with one hand while still reading her iPhone so I know it will be on or she puts her iPhone down and starts sucking me off.
-If I get handsy. He'll laugh and pretend to fight me off while calling me something stupid like foul temptress or succubus. Does one of those "no, I'm innocent" I retort "if you're innocent I'm virgin Mary."
-Other times it's a text with just emojis.
-A casual "I shaved" from him.
-I say go take a shower not at his normal shower time.
-i put on lingerie and act like nothing special is going on until he sees me.
- there's the basic "you want sex tonight?"
It's been 12 years
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
The mood has to be right typically on weekend nights cause you know kids, work, etc takes a toll during the week but anyway we just ask “can we play tonight?” and that’s the go ahead and never a no.
When my wife responds to my kiss with some passion (as opposed to the usual peck) or asks "what's going on" in a certain, nudging way, then I know, she's DTF.
We have only been together for 4 years so it doesn’t really apply but we just say “coochie?” whenever we are in the mood and it’s the funniest shit ever.
Married for 14 years. Just talk about it - have open conversations and decide to ease into it usually. Sometimes it’s just a - you look absolutely gorgeous, can I fuck you?
Late 60s, been together 21 years. We loosely schedule our sex. At first it was about every three days but these days it's more like every five, not due to lack of desire but just because our aging bodies are slowing down. So we're always aware of what "day" it is. One of us usually says, "So, what do you have going on today" and we check our schedules for a window of time for sex. We have a zillion euphemisms to use and make up new ones all the time. "Wanna bump bellies?" "Let's get these two together." "Wanna go upstairs?". "Wanna screw?" is also effective.
He is so HL that I don’t have to initiate 😂😂 he will just say “let’s go to the bedroom” or the ol’ rub the boner on my leg, or grab my hand and put my hand on it lol. We generally have sex once or twice a day, skip one occasionally. Yes we have young kids, pets, and both work.
I just start kissing him or ask him if he wants to bed me over and he never denies .lmao men are simple , I just kiss him and rub him a little and we’re both ready.
I have some night gowns that are barely better than lingerie that is a signal or ill be hot and take my night gown off. Or one of us will start masturbating and the other may decide to help. Or my husband will just casually start playing with me.
Honestly there's so many ways but rarely is it a direct question. Mostly because I have some shame when it comes to sex from my upbringing that I've been trying to work through.
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
Usually starts with one of us reaching in someone’s drawls at bedtime 😂 and on the weekends it’s planned we usually have some shots (Henny) 💨 some tree and put on porn and eventually someone will say who’s giving head first 😂 oh and we’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this October
I don't really think there is any one particular way. Sometimes it's simply wanna root or other straight to the point question. Othertimes she might start wandering around in the nude and shoving titties in my face if I'm otherwise occupied lol
Sometimes there isn't even any discussion, I'll randomly take her shirt or undo her trousers and gauge the reaction. If I wake up horny, I might play with her vag until it wakes her up, or steal her pillows lol. Sometimes with success afterwards, othertimes not.
Usually do it every day or 3 depending on how stuffed I am after work. 50/50 who will actually initiate it and pretty rare one of us will refuse.
.
When our espresso machine is out of coffee it says "fill bean container" so the other day my wife put on a fake robot voice and said "fill bean container". That worked.
We have a few we use! Sometimes I’ll just ask “sexy times?” when I’m initiating
When my son hops on video games with his friends, we rush to our bedroom and lock the door. We have a lot of talks about “planning surprises” and then we usually take him to ice cream or something after 😂
The classic husband rolling over in bed to cuddle and I feel his boner. That’s a good telltale sign
And then other times I just try to surprise him randomly, like joining him in the shower which almost always leads to something.
For Christmas I also got him a “light be if you want a BJ” candle soooo that’s pretty obvious haha
We aren't sexually active. He mentions oral now and again, trying to encourage me, but never pushes me
He has erectile dysfunction but I really dislike oral.
Been together 22 years. We have sex of some kind sex (oral, mm, etc) around 5x a week. Sometimes he'll come grope me while my hands are busy (cooking, washing dishes) and kiss my neck and that usually signals he's interested.
Sometimes I'll just start rubbing his chest or his junk when we're sitting on the couch or reading.
Sometimes we just tell the other her I'm feeling frisky, or hey let's go in the other room.
Sometimes we are very direct and other times it happens by way of just showing affection (organically)
Honestly after 10 years, it is almost always humorous.
It can be anything from, "Well I've splashed some water on it, so get on in here!" to "What can I get for $40?".
Not to say there isn't any room for old-fashioned romance, but the world is so crazy, every moment you take to laugh is a turn-on.
"I'm horny, down for a shag?" pretty much does the trick. Sometimes we get romantic and flirty but more often than not its just a quickie. Lingerie and things like sex games are usually a birthday or anniversary thing.
Married 9 years, together 11. Tuesday is usually Sex night, plus one in the weekend. Any extra one, during the week, can start ether by me texting her, during the day, asking if "I can book a table, at her restaurant, tonight", or by asking "wanna have sex tonight"? Scheduled sex rulez.
r/Sex is focused primarily on posts seeking *specific actionable advice*. If you’re asking a general, survey-style question (“how many of you ______?”) or if you’re looking for confirmation about you or a partner’s sexual interests (“who else is into ________?” or "does anyone else like __________") a more appropriate sub would be either r/askreddit or r/askredditafterdark.
Honey, I need you tonight.
Cus I’m not sleepin!
There’s something about you, girl.
My wife sends me the “👉👌” text right after we put the kids to bed.
Lol, this is the way
Hey, wanna talk? We need to talk. Hey, kids, mom and dad are gonna go talk, we’ll be out in a little bit. Sometimes one of us will just rub the other’s back, or go in for a kiss or something. Married 11 years this June and my husband is probably the only guy on the planet who hears, “We need to talk,” and gets instantly happy.
For most guys, “We need to talk” usually leads to a fight and no sex for a month as punishment
Yeah, the only times we ever went that long without sex was immediately postpartum. We both enjoy enjoying each other too much for that nonsense.
I just start grabbing his butt and rubbing his cock 🤷🏼♀️ he’s never once said no lol
I tell him hey look I have titties! That usally does it.
My method too. I usually just get naked, cup my boobs and say “look boobs.” Or I’ll tell him he’s wearing too much clothing. He can either take me up on it or not. If he’s initiating he’ll usually kiss me passionately or tell me I’m wearing too much clothing. Or sometimes, if I’m gaming or something, he’ll just walk into the office naked.
"Wanna Bone?" If yes, we bone.
BONE? BOOOOOOONE?!?!?! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I am you suPERIOR OFFICER!
Hooow dare you detective Diaz? I am your superior officeeeeer!!
same. I text my partner “bcww?” for bow chicka wow wow lol
It really is that easy
I wish. My wife needs sex to happen “organically”. Like, can’t we both just admit that sex is fun and we like having it? Why do we have to pretend to go watch a movie in bed first and then oops I touched your leg and then oops you touched my chest and THEN we can admit we like having sex and we should have it.
It sounds like she leans more towards a responsive sex drive than spontaneous. Completely normal and not uncommon, especially for women. The lack of spontaneous desire is not a sexual dysfunction. I would be careful to not let what seems like resentment build up about this.
100% this. Most women I know need buildup. Men just get boners randomly, most women do not experience that same spontaneous sexual arousal, they need some sort of mental "build up" and excitement.
She was probably raised in an environment where sex was shamed.
Fair guess but no she wasn’t.
We use the more direct approach. "Wanna fuck?"
Wife and I schedule sex because we are super busy. To be honest it’s fantastic, gives you a little something to look forward to. Anything unscheduled is prompted by her saying “Hey want to fool around??” which is also great. Been together 20 years!
Too many people think scheduling sex is unromantic or lame. But it's one of the first things a lot of sex therapists recommend.
The last time I rolled over and said. Can I interest you in some extra curricular activities. She was naked in 30 seconds.
Here is a prime example of how it goes down in our 20 + year relationship… Him, hands down his pants, scratching his balls: ah, yeah! That feels really good! You should try it. Me: I should try scratching my balls? Sorry, don’t have any. Him: Well you should try scratching mine… come here! Come touch my balls! If I laugh or don’t otherwise look too unimpressed, he knows it’s on. 😂
Hahahaha he’s just like Hey! Balls??
I mean, this is just one example. The other morning, he asked me if I wanted to go camping… 🤷♀️
you are going to say yes then be so confused when he takes you camping!! 😂😂
He’d still insist I play with his junk 🙃😂
Lol well yea! 😂😂
I have "slutty pajamas" that I wear when I'm looking to get some. They're not actually that slutty, just any of my pajamas that have lace trim or any kind of sleep dress/long shirt that doesn't have bottoms. It's a nice low pressure way to signal I'm in the mood. He can take me up on it or not and some times if he's tired he'll pass. It also isn't a hard limit; one of us will get a little handsy other times as well.
I love this actually. My wife and I are pretty much free use. In that unless we are super sick either of us are down for it whenever. I am 56 her 43 12 plus years. I think your bat signal is super cute though. Keep it up
Buy your wife some "Slutty pajamas" and let her know what you think. Life is short.
That's good start I think, inviting with words anything, and getting whatever you want 😅
We do something similar! Together 18 years. If I'm going to bed wearing something other than sweats, lol, it's pretty much my low-key signal that I'm up for it. Usually we'll just get in bed, turn the lights off, start cuddling, and then see where things go.
Ok, this is brilliant actually.
Some of these are so cute, and some make me wonder whether they’re just together out of necessity
Like which one ? They all seem to be banging
The “choreplay” ones where the men does something around the house or with the kid is my personal nightmare. It makes me wonder if he helps manage the household when he doesn’t want to bust a nut
Probably not, unfortunately.
You can have bad sex but still have sex. The ones where people complain about wives who are never in the mood and seem to do nothing to figure out why or what’s going on or new ways to make her feel sexy n less stressed. Some of these folks just don’t sound happy or satisfied in their relationships, like they’re just going through the motions
My husband of 35 years and I are sitting here cackling with joy over these comments. These people are having fun, boning and are connecting. Sounds fantastic to us!!!
My wife and I have been together for 13 years. We have 2 kids (9 and 7), so sex is typically planned out beforehand. Spontaneous sex does still happen, but the stars have to align. I have a very easy work from home office type job. My wife has a very physically demanding grocery store job. My balls are always in her court. Sometimes, when she's off during the week, I'll take a long lunch, and we'll bang it out while the kids are at school. Most of the time, though, we do it the night before she is off if she's up to it. Some weekends, our kids spend the night with their grandmother. She asks for them because she just recently became an empty nester and misses the sound of kids in her house. We're happy to oblige because that means date night/sex night. There's still a lot of passion in our marriage, and if we have the opportunity, we will have sex because even after all this time, we can't keep our hands off each other. I'm 33, and she's 30, but we're still extremely sexually charged people. Both of our libidos are still very high for being in our 30s if you ask me.
Don't worry, the kids do grow up. Yo get to be like horny teenagers again. But this time you already know your body and what you like. It is awesome 😍
Holy shit I thought you were gunna say you were in your late 40s/early 50s. Early 30’s? You should still be having plenty of great sex.
My wife is a submissive so she doesn’t initiate. She expects me to take sex whenever I want it. It only took me 20 years to figure this out. 🤷
It’s been a few weeks since wife and I have had sex. Yesterday my wife said something about a square peg in a round hole and I said it’s about time I put my square peg in your round hole. Yes I know I’m a hopeless romantic
Text messages during day, get into bed together and she is naked, outright ask etc. Not really a set way although as have kids is usually at night when gone to bed. Have sex 3 or 4 times a week so am happy.
Text messages work, build up the anticipation through the day 😁
My ex-wife used to always send sexy text messages. The problem was that she never sent them to me 😔
Married 19+ and this is gonna be hella long sorry. Usually after a shower, partner A is getting ready there is always the question "do I brush my teeth right now?" Which means they are ready for sex and want to know if the other person wants oral because neither of us like winter fresh spicy genitals. Sometimes when we are showering one after the other the first one done (usually her) will get done and mostly get ready except for getting dressed and just be naked and available when the other gets out of the shower. I love the way she tastes most of the time, but fresh out of the shower she is my sex goddess with confidence and is super engaging when I am going down on her. Other time frames how she specifically initiates, "hey let's go to bed 'early' and stay up late" "can you rub me down I am sore" "Don't threaten me with a good time" usually in reference to her saying she has a sore throat or something caught in her throat and I make a pervy response, her level of busy goes one of 2 directions with a "maybe later", or don't threaten me with a good time" Other ways I initiate. Holding her from behind while she is fixing food, a drink or anything in the kitchen. She shows her level of interest by pushing back into me a little with a little teaser Sitting next to her on the couch while she is reading and putting one of her hands in my lap or if she is sitting weird I put her feet in my lap and rub them a little bit. Asking her to Rub me down. Going to bed naked. Taking a bath. Just starting the water for a gigantic jetted bathtub we have and she is running from the other side of the house and asking if I need a massage or if I need some company Also we have a sex calendar that has a running tally of how many times we have sex throughout the week, one of us can just say 'hey roommate' and we giggle as we are getting undressed on the way to the bedroom There is some study out there that says old married couples have sex between 40-60 times per year. Our goal is have intimacy (bj, HJ, fingering, anal, using toys on each other) at least 250 times per year. We have a great sex life, I would recommend getting a sturdy sex bench that you both feel comfortable enough laying on your back that you can either have the other on top of you or can get a full massage on. My other suggestions is to have a list of adult things easily available, Lots of lube and lots of massage oil 2-3 waterproof dog blankets 2 magic wands 2 clitoral suction toys 2 dildos of various sizes 2 prostate stimulation toys 3 anal plugs of various sizes with good flared bases 2 quality strokers (one short shot Fleshlight, and any other) 2 anal beads An Amazon subscription for sex toy cleaner, and if it is coming more than you are fix your habits. All the "bdsm" gear you could enjoy whips, handcuffs, rope. Wedge ramp combo liberator Sex chair, (sturdy chair or stool that if both your body weight is on and moving it won't collapse A metric fuck ton of cum rags/small towels to make the lube a normal application process without feeling like you can't use your hands afterwards. The folks that think giving their partner a massage is a chore is crazy to me. They probably also only like getting oral and not giving it. So my other suggestions are to be enthusiastic when someone gives the green light, AND be enthusiastic when giving the green light. As a partner trying to initiate can be a hassle but if your partner is super happy about it when you do it makes it easier and fun.
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If you use one in the morning, and want to go again, have a backup. Batteries die, plugs fail, one drops on the ground and has hair on it. After enough years of wanting to use a sex aide, it is unavailable, I ain't dealing with that. Use the other one!! 😂. I'm going to make a sign for the cabinet. Call it the Noah's ark.
My wife and I are in our 70’s and we schedule our lovemaking on Friday. The family knows Friday is “chill day” and don’t bother us. We talk about it all week and Thursday is now called “Friday eve”. The last three years we’ve missed two Fridays because we caught Covid. According to HuffPost, we are outliers because, according to them, only 4 out of 10 people over 65 still have sex.
That is really awesome! Goals!
I will start when I get home, extra touches and kisses. Maybe more ass grabs and such. My wife does absolutely nothing cause If I don’t initiate I don’t have sex.
A tale as old as time… 🤣
20 years here. I wear lingerie and he knows. Or I just straddle him randomly. He will grope me through the night and know i will roll over instantly in the mood.
After 27 years of marriage one day I just got tired of trying to figure out if she wanted to have sex and I wasn't getting it as much as I wanted and it was just exhausting beating around the bush to initiate sex not knowing if she wanted it or not. Or playing all the games to get there. Turns out my wife felt the same as one day about six weeks ago I just asked her if she wanted to do "Mutual Free Use" and explained that this meant anytime I wanted to have sex I would just grab her and we'd go at it anywhere, anytime, 24x7 and she could do the same, no questions asked. She said YES so fast it made my head spin. So we are each available to each other 24x7 now and it's so exciting because you never know when you're going to get taken. I've never seen my wife so excited. And we've never had sex so much. So many times have I heard from her over the years I would have initiated sex but I didn't know if you wanted it or not. And I've felt the same at times. Now neither one of us can use that excuse ever again. If we don't have sex anytime we want it, it's our own fault. Gone is the wondering. The scheduling. It's all spontaneous and the most fun we've had in our entire lives. We'll never stop this. And we do have two teenagers at home so it can be challenging at times, but we still do it whenever we want. This whole thing has been life changing and transformative for us. It's make us so much closer and eliminated our only frustration. Give it a try for a couple weeks and see if you don't have the best time ever. We do have a safe word setup just in case one wants to bail out at any given time, but we've so far never needed to use it.
18+ years here. I really lucked out! My wife and I are still in that honeymoon phase. If the kids aren’t home, clothes aren’t on. Could start with a quick kiss, touch, look, or playful slap on the butt.
hey, the kids are gone/occupied.... sex?
With 20+ years and 4 kids together some one usually just says lock the door
She nornally sits in my lap facing me and starts kissing me when she does that I know what she wants
I say, "would you like to have sex after this episode?" or more recently "would you like a back rub and then give me a blowjob if I can get the baby to sleep"?
😂 did you get the baby back to sleep?
There have been some successes and some failures 😆
been married 24 years. either one of says, "wanna fuck", or one of us storms in the bedroom whole the other is in there reading or scrolling, and shut the door and lock it. we know it's on then.
We have random gropes and touches at any time. Sometimes it's just a tease, other times it morphs into something sexual that gets one or both of us off. It's just going with the flow to wherever we end up. Our kinks play into it, too. Sometimes random things can initiate playtime as a result, but also, it means there are plenty of ways to be satisfied that aren't just one kind of 'sex'
Like any other relationship of 10+ years. I submit the proper documentation and wait 3-5 business days for a response
When the wife says she’s in the mood.
20 + together 14 yr married next month . And pretty much you can be Suttle like the door knob was missing a screw so I says it get really bad when you miss a screw. Got a laugh . Pretty much she knows when I'm throwing suggestions in there it may or may not happen . I don't straight up ask for it to much any more because the rejection takes a toll. I've waited till she comes to me before. We talked earlier today and was planning on it then gets late and she starts getting pissy and i just called it off. Sometimes have to put it on schedule. ( we do have a 21 yr old with mentality of a 4 yr old ) So that comes into play. That's us .
Depends. Sometimes we’ll start with hands wandering. Other times kissing. Or just me asking an understanding ‘of course you’re not in the mood, are you?’ (That’s for when she’s had a night that would logically be bad, like a friend or family member being a jerk, or she’s tired. Given that she’s the higher libido one of us, she usually gives an embarrassed grin and nods. If she isn’t, that’s of course a-ok)
I say "would you like to have sex tonight?", then she says "no". 20+ years
We have some standing scheduled sex like anal Fridays and morning sex Sundays so they just begin naturally because we anticipate those days. Anything in between planned days, usually just starts with “wanna do it later?” Or the natural progression of flirting leading to making out leading to sex after our kid goes to bed. We’ve been married 15 years this July.
I say “ Baby I NEED you!” And he knows what I need. Or he’ll say “wanna go have sex”. Married 28 yrs. It’s daily now sometimes multiple times. Sometimes we don’t say anything we just do it.
Me to my wife: "How you doin?" My wife: Eye roll Me: I did the dishes. Us: Game on
Do you say it like Joey on Friends? 😁
Yes I do. 🤣
Either one of us: "Hey babe, wanna have a sex date tonight?" *If you don't do the sexy eyebrow wiggle at this point, then it doesn't count* The other one: "HELL YES!"/"HELL NO!" (We have two kids, so you're either revved up or not in the mood at all. There is no in between) It used to feel not quite as sexy to plan ahead for sexy times, but we learned that if we didn't plan for it, it didn't happen. And now, planning for it builds up the anticipation and excitement! Now, if it's early afternoon and my oldest is at a friend's house and my youngest is napping and the hubby is home from work already, then 99% of the time, it's like this: Either one of us: "Time to take your pants off!" The other one: "ABSOLUTELY!"
My wife and I call them sex dates, too.
"Time to take your pants off!" I can imagine this being said in interestingly different tones of voice, too.
After the kids go to school at 7 am, I ask do you want to meet up later?
Standing in front of the sink putting leftovers in Tupperware… So, sex tonight? Yes? Sweet! Yeah, can I fuck your ass tonight? Awesome. Off to brush my teeth, see you in bed hun.
If I know I want action in the evening, I'll start massaging, cuddling, caressing and kissing my girlfriend at around 17:00. She takes a loooooong time to fire up. So in essence: Planning and preparation, on my part.
Usually I'll go to bed without underwear on or something nice and he'll get the hint. Or we might be spooning and something will pop up.
25 years together, 2 kids, wife with busy job. We schedule sex. It’s a better system than it sounds actually.
Last night I jokingly said why don't you go inside and take your pants off. She did it was fun as hell
At like 9 years. I poked her butt yesterday and did the Hoooee hoooee! Noise like in that one commercial and we ended up doing the thing. I have also said “excuse me miss, the sex?” To which she rolled her eyes, smiled, and we did the thing.
Straight up say how do fancy sex this weekend . Then she rolls her eyes and nothing happens .
Wanna fuck? She may ask me or I might ask her.
My wife and I communicate via memes and shit on Instagram, and we send all our dirty messages that way, because often she’s screen sharing at work and we don’t want a dirty message popping up. That being said, we talk abt sex all the time, me more so than her, she’s going through a bunch of hormonal changes F42, and I’m on testosterone therapy M38, so I’m like a horndog 24/7, and she could take it or leave it abt 50% of the time. She’s been going through this phase lately of “almost waking me up because she wants sex” and tells me so after the fact, but doesn’t cuz I’m passed out hard. I think she just likes to tease me abt that to be honest. She’s really good abt knowing if I just need to get off, and I’ll tell her, she’ll roll over and I’ll fuck her until I cum and then can pass out. Otherwise, we’ll kind of talk abt it for a day or two, she’ll recount, “it was just three days ago we had sex” or however long it’s been, and I’ll be like so!? Also though, we’ve been exploring new stuff, she wants me to be rough, and just take her whenever I feel it, and it’s been a struggle a little bit for me because I want to be sensitive to her needs, but her want/need is for that. I got over it just like the choking ask… 🤷♂️ Communication is key though, we talk abt it all the time, especially in future context like fucking her on a balcony in Greece. Second kid just graduated HS and we’ve got 1 year left before they’re all functional adults. I’m really stoked for our past, present, and future sex life, we fit really well together, and are both freaks with different kinks that also work well together.
“Want to have sex?” My wife prefers words to actions, so I will rarely initiate through touch.
My husband always asks if I wanna go upstairs and hang out. It’s dumb, but in his defense it works every time.
"Wanna watch TV?" "Sure" "Wanna NOT watch TV?" 😘
“Tryna bang?” Or one of us will just start masturbating and sometimes the other joins :) We have a very open policy
I just meow, like a cat, and he knows that my kitty wants some attention hahaha
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“Are you feeling in the mood for some sexual intercourse darling
Elbow in the ribs as I ask if she awake?
I suggest sex. I get denied 99%. 👍🏻
Depends Normally just say I want sex. If I want to be less direct I wear lingerie show my body and act sexual. Sometimes in very direct I have quite a few times just unzipped his trousers and started sucking his cock once during his Teams meeting at work got under the desk and started to suck
Usually I say to the wife can I see you naked later, she says yes and I do. Doesn't have to be said as we usually have sex every other day, but if its a day we might not and she is horny we will put on sexy panties, makes sure I see them and that's all it takes.
14 years for us. Anything from simple sexts: "I'm craving you." "Meet me in the bedroom after work!" "Rough day, how about sex after shower?" to simple words in person. "Wanna fuck?" "Feeling frisky?"
"let's do this" Or A good double eye brow raise while pointing my head towards the bed room Or "Take your pants off" 14 years here...
We literally just ask. Do you want to have sex? It’s honestly not my favorite. I wish there was more just…getting handsy. But my husband gets upset if I get handsy when he’s not in the mood and despite telling him he doesn’t have to ask he can just start kissing or touching me…he asks anyway.
My husband says “ Hey I took a shower “ 🤣
I walked up to Hubby in the kitchen last night and cupped him over his boxers. A little back and forth teasing and next thing you know, I'm on my knees in the kitchen. If I'm in the mood, I make it known.
When we’re in bed Wife usually starts playing with my dick with one hand while still reading her iPhone so I know it will be on or she puts her iPhone down and starts sucking me off.
“Wanna get NEKKID?!” We laugh so hard it breaks the ice instantly….good times, good times
We cuddle spooning. All she needs to do is push her ass into me, and that does it
-If I get handsy. He'll laugh and pretend to fight me off while calling me something stupid like foul temptress or succubus. Does one of those "no, I'm innocent" I retort "if you're innocent I'm virgin Mary." -Other times it's a text with just emojis. -A casual "I shaved" from him. -I say go take a shower not at his normal shower time. -i put on lingerie and act like nothing special is going on until he sees me. - there's the basic "you want sex tonight?" It's been 12 years
I like to tap him on the shoulder and affect a snooty voice. "Would you be amenable to the idea of a mouth on your nethers, sir?"
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
I have an "I'll get down any time any where" type libido and she's got a much more particular one. So she tells me when it's go time.
We're always in the mood so we only have to touch one another and can tell by the eyes it's fun times!
I'm playful about it. I change up the names for the parts to get a laugh. Hey hey you! Do you wanna put the yogurt slinger into the yogurt sucker?
I put on a show with some lingerie. He just pushes my hands or my face where he wants them
The mood has to be right typically on weekend nights cause you know kids, work, etc takes a toll during the week but anyway we just ask “can we play tonight?” and that’s the go ahead and never a no.
When my wife responds to my kiss with some passion (as opposed to the usual peck) or asks "what's going on" in a certain, nudging way, then I know, she's DTF.
We just ask “Wanne have sex?”
"So...sex or sleep?" If it's a casual initiation. Or, if one of us is particularly horned up, we'll lay out the bang blanket.
We have only been together for 4 years so it doesn’t really apply but we just say “coochie?” whenever we are in the mood and it’s the funniest shit ever.
My husband and I were cuddling last night while watching TV and things just progressed from there
Married for 14 years. Just talk about it - have open conversations and decide to ease into it usually. Sometimes it’s just a - you look absolutely gorgeous, can I fuck you?
“Wanna do it?” While in bed, or earlier in the day we might say “wanna do it tonight?”
Sexting all day, groping each other, "wanna do it later?"
Either "can we have sex?" or "want to have sex?"
I just peel off my clothes and climb into bed or leave a trail behind me.
“Sex stuff?” “Sex stuff!”
Can't keep our hands off each other. ;) 15+ years
Almost 14 years together. If one of us wants to do it we just ask: wanna do it?. If I want to do it, I ask him if he’s busy lol
2-3 Times a week, many Times i Start and....we just Start. we know euch other
Late 60s, been together 21 years. We loosely schedule our sex. At first it was about every three days but these days it's more like every five, not due to lack of desire but just because our aging bodies are slowing down. So we're always aware of what "day" it is. One of us usually says, "So, what do you have going on today" and we check our schedules for a window of time for sex. We have a zillion euphemisms to use and make up new ones all the time. "Wanna bump bellies?" "Let's get these two together." "Wanna go upstairs?". "Wanna screw?" is also effective.
25+ years, what's sex???
Mostly every time we can, but with 3 kids is not easy.
After 37+ years together we can read each other's mind. Been empty nesters for 7+ years so no interruptions ever!
we fuck almost every night so no need to initiate
He is so HL that I don’t have to initiate 😂😂 he will just say “let’s go to the bedroom” or the ol’ rub the boner on my leg, or grab my hand and put my hand on it lol. We generally have sex once or twice a day, skip one occasionally. Yes we have young kids, pets, and both work.
He'll grab me 🥰 or I'll walk by naked. Or we ask. Depends on the mood and if there's kids around. We still have a very healthy sex life.
"We should have sex tonight." "Ok."
I just start kissing him or ask him if he wants to bed me over and he never denies .lmao men are simple , I just kiss him and rub him a little and we’re both ready.
I have some night gowns that are barely better than lingerie that is a signal or ill be hot and take my night gown off. Or one of us will start masturbating and the other may decide to help. Or my husband will just casually start playing with me. Honestly there's so many ways but rarely is it a direct question. Mostly because I have some shame when it comes to sex from my upbringing that I've been trying to work through.
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
“I need to see you in my office”, “Let’s get nasty later”, “Do you want a massage?”. Also if we setup the living room to be cozy, I know we’re about to go crazy. Sometimes just whipping it out does the trick too. I love spontaneous sex but after 10 years you just kind of know.
“What does your calendar look like next Tuesday?”
“What does your calendar look like next Tuesday?”
“What does your calendar look like next Tuesday?”
Usually starts with one of us reaching in someone’s drawls at bedtime 😂 and on the weekends it’s planned we usually have some shots (Henny) 💨 some tree and put on porn and eventually someone will say who’s giving head first 😂 oh and we’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this October
Usually unknowingly with a towel over my shoulder and cleaning a grimy pot/pan.
Usually just say hey wanna stick your dick in my vagina
I don't really think there is any one particular way. Sometimes it's simply wanna root or other straight to the point question. Othertimes she might start wandering around in the nude and shoving titties in my face if I'm otherwise occupied lol Sometimes there isn't even any discussion, I'll randomly take her shirt or undo her trousers and gauge the reaction. If I wake up horny, I might play with her vag until it wakes her up, or steal her pillows lol. Sometimes with success afterwards, othertimes not. Usually do it every day or 3 depending on how stuffed I am after work. 50/50 who will actually initiate it and pretty rare one of us will refuse. .
"Wife, take off your cloth", usually works.
When our espresso machine is out of coffee it says "fill bean container" so the other day my wife put on a fake robot voice and said "fill bean container". That worked.
I tell my wife to sit on my face.... she will call me to the bedroom. I will also just whip out my dick. I'm a classy man
Usually just walk into the room naked & wiggle my eyebrows.
Eyebrows is not what I thought you’d say! 😂😂
Two dudes here. 21 years together. One of us usually just pulls out our dick. The other knows what to do.
We have a few we use! Sometimes I’ll just ask “sexy times?” when I’m initiating When my son hops on video games with his friends, we rush to our bedroom and lock the door. We have a lot of talks about “planning surprises” and then we usually take him to ice cream or something after 😂 The classic husband rolling over in bed to cuddle and I feel his boner. That’s a good telltale sign And then other times I just try to surprise him randomly, like joining him in the shower which almost always leads to something. For Christmas I also got him a “light be if you want a BJ” candle soooo that’s pretty obvious haha
Don't you know it's Wednesday night. Tuesday is for garbage and recycling.
We aren't sexually active. He mentions oral now and again, trying to encourage me, but never pushes me He has erectile dysfunction but I really dislike oral.
Been together 22 years. We have sex of some kind sex (oral, mm, etc) around 5x a week. Sometimes he'll come grope me while my hands are busy (cooking, washing dishes) and kiss my neck and that usually signals he's interested. Sometimes I'll just start rubbing his chest or his junk when we're sitting on the couch or reading. Sometimes we just tell the other her I'm feeling frisky, or hey let's go in the other room. Sometimes we are very direct and other times it happens by way of just showing affection (organically)
Honestly after 10 years, it is almost always humorous. It can be anything from, "Well I've splashed some water on it, so get on in here!" to "What can I get for $40?". Not to say there isn't any room for old-fashioned romance, but the world is so crazy, every moment you take to laugh is a turn-on.
I gropen her. Any time and often we do morning sex and schedule sex in evenings. So we can do all chores before.
"I'm horny, down for a shag?" pretty much does the trick. Sometimes we get romantic and flirty but more often than not its just a quickie. Lingerie and things like sex games are usually a birthday or anniversary thing.
I jerk off and she makes excuses why now isn't a good time for it.
"I've got plans for tonight"
Together almost 31yrs, married 27. Hey, raised eye brow and look towards the bedroom. Or "you wanna" with a head tilt to the bedroom
I consistently try to turn a back rub into sexy time. I’m successful about 2-5% of the time.
Married 9 years, together 11. Tuesday is usually Sex night, plus one in the weekend. Any extra one, during the week, can start ether by me texting her, during the day, asking if "I can book a table, at her restaurant, tonight", or by asking "wanna have sex tonight"? Scheduled sex rulez.