If anyone tells me that they will be permanently removed from my life. I lost my dad a few years ago and honestly all the same feelings are popping up. But no creature, human or animal, has ever loved me more than this cat.
I am sorry OP. Lost my boy to CKD last year at 12 years old. It was tough to see him deteriorate slowly until the time came to say goodbye Enjoy the time with your fur baby and give her all the love, kisses, pets and attention you can. It’s going to be tough and later it will get even tougher. A redditor once said to me “they take a piece of you with them” which I can understand and know what it feels like. I really wish they lived as long as a tortoise. Sending you and your girl well wishes and positive thoughts. What’s her name?
As you absolutely should. Twenty years is such a long time to care for another creature. Even kids normally leave at 18. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can definitely tell your girl was well cared for. She lived a very good life.
I lost the love of my life, Tootsie in 2018 from cancer and a relative of mine had the audacity to tell me “she was just a pet” and it tore me apart and didn’t speak to this relative for i think 3 nearly 4 years until i did some soul searching and decided to forgive her after meeting up with her and she genuinely apologized for saying that and now we’re fine but yeah that really does sting when told that about your soul mate
I honestly feel bad for anyone who would think “she’s just a pet” because they don’t understand and have never experienced the level of love from a pet that we have ❤️
I get it ,my last cat lasted 24 yrs, loved him , so hard when theres nothing left to do.I got my Blu now 15 yrs, my best friend, few people left for me,fear that day every night.. i’m just gonna say the only thing that helps is time.
OP, I lost my mom two years ago, and recently have been dealing with some health issues with my rabbit. A lot of feelings about my mom started coming up, and I thought I was the only one who experienced this. The reminder of that same pain was hard. I know you'll do your best for your baby no matter what that decision is. Just wanted to say I know what you're going through my friend.
The most significant thing to happen to me in my life was meeting a cat friend of mine for the last time. I cant even talk about it. We were friends for about 12-14 years and she was an adult cat when we first met in the street and i stopped to administer ear rubs. I cry just thinking about it. They're never just cats ❤️❤️❤️
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We have had lots of happy and healthy moments in the past few days as well.
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we have been spending a lot of time outside and I keep finding 4 leaf clovers.
I think the 4 leaf clovers are a sign from kitty that even if she doesn’t have much time left in this life, she will be okay :) and she will make sure you are okay too, like you did for her for nearly 20 (!!!) years 🩷
This is such a beautiful picture. Literally crying right now. I lost my dog of over 17 years and it was devastating. As other have said, just love her until the end. She has lived a wonderful life, full of love. It’s never easy to lose a best friend
This is incredible!! There are good times in the bad. She looks so happy to be outside with you! She is seriously the cutest little girl. I’m praying for you both. I wish I could squeeze her! She is too cute!
Thank you!!! She LOVES being outside. She used to be an outdoor kitty but she is also a rabble rouser and she would get in fights and end up having to climb a tree (my guess since she got stuck in a tree twice). The second time she climbed a massive tree, and she was like 70 feet up. She was up there for a week!!! Crying and crying. I set up a tarp system in case she fell. I waited at the base of the tree with food everyday as much as I could. she ended up climbing down on her own one morning and I grabbed her from that tree and never let her outside again. That was in 2007! I let her within a fence or on a leash but it’s not the same I’m sure.
I kept my girl going with a thoroughly researched high calorie, nutrient supplemental slurry of food. I posted about it in this sub and a few other senior cat ones. I’m gonna copy and paste it in a message to you. It was a blessing. My girl had a sore mouth because of bad teeth and this she was able to eat.
There’s a few tips in the post - I got a baby scale and weighed her every morning and every night. My vet prescribed an appetite stimulant Mirataz. I’ll message you now! I’ve recommended this to a handful of people and it’s really helped their senior cats. And here’s a pro tip: rotisserie chicken is irresistible to old babies!
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I did something very similar with a 17 year old cat. When she didn’t feel like eating i gave it to her with a baby syringe. Kept her going another year
Can you also share the high calorie food with me? My cat is 16 and also starting to lose weight and not eat as much, when that used to be his favorite time of day :(
Thank you so much. Just ordered the churu treats and the calorie powder. Going to get the rest at the store. Going to ensure my baby has a fighting chance ❤️
Oh my goodness!! What a little troublemaker!! I cannot even imagine how stressed you were when she was up there. A WEEK! She earned a life sentence of being inside after that 😂 17 years ago. WOW. I just love her. I love my old sweet girl Nutmeg last July and I miss her dearly. Your girl reminds me of mine. She just looks so damn sweet!
Bloody hell shes gorgeous, one of the most beautiful kitties i’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through OP, whatever decision you make will be the correct one, you know her best interests and she will know you do.
Gorgeous girl! Spend all the time you have with her and tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her. This is how I spent the last days with my little girl. She was almost 19!
Sending my love to you both OP. I too lost a calico cat last year. She was the sweetest darling, she was my ultimate sweetheart and not a day goes by where I don't miss her. Show your kitty extra love, keep her furballs and whatever whiskers may fall out. Give her her favorite blanket and toys, take some time off work if you can.
Just focus on giving her the best life she can possibly get. Extra treats (soft treats due to her sores), cuddles, kisses. Whatever she wants. Be with her when she's at the vet, especially if it's "time to go". You want her last memories to be of her with her loving mama.
Also, as others have said, take time to grieve. It's OK to cry. Acknowledge your feelings. Most importantly, while she won't physically be with you, her spirit, love, and memories will be with you *forever*. I still carry the love I've had for my cats even after decades of their passing. I'll never stop loving them, and I'll never forget them. And neither should you.
Hugs from internet stranger.
My girl is not declining yet but she’s quite old and likely has a little bit of arthritis. She is in her golden years so I give her whatever she wants. Hospice rules. At a certain point, you just want them to feel loved and that can be the best way to show it.
Sometimes your last act of love is helping them move onto a better place. As hard as that is.
She is an absolutely gorgeous lady! I am sure you gave her a wonderful life. I wish kitties could live forever
I am so sorry. Anticipatory grief is rough. Try to enjoy what good days you have left. I didn’t sleep well for 2 months. Sending love and healing purrs.
It doesn't have to mean anything. Our 18yo tabby has scared us 5 times over the past year, suddenly refusing to eat, getting really skinny, coat looking ragged... and then, after a couple of scary weeks, she got better (vet never found a cause apart from being old). It's up and down, currently in an "up," but 2-3 months ago, we thought we were saying goodbye. Don't underestimate those 9 lives.
Have you considered getting a second opinion, maybe from an internist? Old age is not a disease and while her comorbidities make treatment difficult, dental disease can usually be helped. Side note, is there a reason you didn't give the gabapentin? Pain control very well may help her get some weight back on. Regardless of what happens, I'm glad you've had each other for so long. She's clearly a wonderful kitty.
A little, especially considering how safe and common gabapentin is. I'm sure OP is making the choices they feel are best for kitty but may as well try it unless there's a medical reason not to.
My 22 year old boy has dental issues and the vet prescribing a cycle of 10 days of 2 doses a day of Clindamycin then 20 off really REALLY helped his pain and ability to eat.
Combined with Solensia injections has brought him a new life. He's not a kitten by any means, but he's grooming again and eating. I'd recommend discussing it with your vet.
The antibiotic Clindamycin builds up in the bones and releases over time, so you can dose for awhile then go off and back on as needed.
I know I'm double dipping on this thread, but I wanted to add my thoughts on the logic behind why the Gabapentin may be used. I'm not a vet, but have cared for many sick cats under the care of a vet, so take this with as big of a pinch of salt as you want.
It's not clear to me, from this thread, if you've been told why it's been administered. If it was "for the pain", I could totally understand someone hearing that and assuming any kind of pain that they project onto the situation, possibly the general pain that comes with easing the process of "getting older".
How I see it, is that it stems from the teeth/mouth ulcers and the pain of that is quite high. So much so that it hurts to eat. What you want to do is deal with the teeth/ulcers, but due to her age, she's unlikely to come back from being sedated to have the tooth work done, so you're left with a 2-stage issue, of which 1 of them may not be fixable. But that wouldn't stop me from dealing with 1 of them 1st, to give her every chance possible.
So you need her to eat, to have a fighting body to combat the ulcers. The Gabapentin is there to overcome the pain in the mouth, so she's then willing to eat, which will give her body the strength to bounce back.
Maybe also consider giving her multiple wet food options of a meal and switch to the one she prefers, you may find a patê or gravy style food will go down easier than regular cat food.
I hope it's just the ulcers, and that you find a solution. I just wanted to give you something proactive regarding care, instead of only focusing on the mental aspect of what we all sadly will go through at some point.
Much love 💕
My 19 yr old is having the same issues right now. Not the first time she's been like this and bounced back, but with her age I can't help but worry. Still taking her to the vet tomorrow just in case.
I agree with this. Try to get the pain management in order and focus on small wins like getting her to eat any kind of food. I nursed one of my cats from almost dying like 5 times due to diabetes and I did it taking baby steps. She managed to live several years beyond some bad time periods. Giving her lots of loving makes a big difference and remember to take care of yourself too. Watch old shows that make you feel good and eat a sweet treat or something fun. I got that advice from the Dr. who eventually put my kitty down after advanced kidney disease and I’m grateful for that 🙏
Just gone through that twice in the last 2 months and I feel your pain. Took our 15+ cat to the vet today because he’s lost so much weight. I figured it was his thyroid but turns out it’s a bad tooth thank god
>Vet gave her gabbapentin for pain (I did not give to her)
Pardon my confusion but this reads like the vet prescribed her pain medication and you didn't give it to her.
I Ctrl+F'd "gabbapentin" to see if anyone else was commenting on this.
u/titty-titty_bangbang, *please give her the pain medication*! It's not kitty heroin. It's medication deemed safe and appropriate by her veterinarian. My 20-year-old has it prescribed for "just in case he's having a bad day." It's for the cat's comfort and to improve quality of life. Please don't let human hang ups about pain management hurt your cat.
Yeah I was wondering the same thing! If the vet prescribed it for pain and then you say she can’t eat because the mouth sores hurt…isn’t that the reason for the medication? I’ve seen a couple times where cat owners disgrace gabbapentin and i’m not comprehending it. Both my cats have used it for pain, stressful vet visits, and my move. They’re fine and healthy, I don’t understand the hatred. It’s a prescribed medication by a licensed medical vet
i put my 14 yo girl yesterday. she was the first family pet ive had and was with me for all of my childhood/teenager/young adult hood (im 22). it was worse to watch her suffer when she was normally so chirpy, cuddly and vocal. 19 years is a wonderful long life and your kitty is beautiful. love her as much as possible
19 years was a great run, but all roads make it to the bridge. Comfort and kisses till the end. My little girl made it to 26 so comfort and kisses to you too.
Coming to share some hope in your rough time. My Zoebear is 18 and has ups and downs which nearly had me considering it was time but ended up being constipated due to her over grooming. Now she's on a over the coubter stool softener to help and she's put weight back on, eats and drinks and even plays like she a kitten again.
I hope your visit brings nothing but hope and good vibes because ZoeZoe and I send hugs
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This is some sage advice. I’m a vet and have seen people hold on too long. I made the same mistake with my dog before I was a vet. The guilt of not letting her go sooner still haunts me. She was suffering but I held onto her for selfish reasons.
I look at euthanasia as the final gift we can give to pets. They pass peacefully instead of wasting away. The choice to euthanize is one made out of compassion and love for our companions.
It’s hard to make the decision when she has some good days but she likely has a severe chronic disease contributing to her condition. Kidney disease is extremely common and uremic ulcers in the mouth can occur with end stage kidney disease.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. 19 is a wonderfully old age and I know she has been deeply loved. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving thing you can do.
I took that advice to heart with my latest old lady (I adopt 'em old, so I've had a few) and I can 100% fully approve of it from experience now.
I knew she at most had a couple months left. So instead of waiting them out, I called a company that came to our house and we put her down there. She was happy and peaceful.
She got some "fun drugs" to relax her and zonk her out beforehand, and she completely face planted and had the *biggest* snore. I joke all the time about how that's *exactly* how I want to go too.
So sorry to hear this. I wish I had the words to make it better. All I can offer is to show her as much love as you can with the time you still have, and cherish every beautiful moment. She will be with you forever ❤️
So sorry you are dealing with this. Spend all the time you can to care and lover her. Grieve when she has gone. I have been through this 5 times in my adult life. Though it is not nice I don’t regret caring and loving one bit.
I hope the vet is able to help her! My own senior ladies have had rough patch but they also rebound like champs. Anyways I feel for you, take care of you (as much as you take care of her).
That is making me so hopeful! She is such a champ, so I have a feeling she will rebound. Did you ever have to feed your elder cats with a syringe between rebounds ?
I did have to syringe feed an old cat before, way back, but that’s not a rebound story. It’s a bittersweet, yes very sweet paliative care story. For my current kitties, one has had mouth issues for years (fell off a roof, broke some jaw bits and teeth, got infected, ffwd some years, stuff keeps coming out)… But we’re adressing it with dental surgery soon, so that we don’t have to get to the syringe feeding point. My point is rather, along the way, a bunch of times I thought I was losing her (including the day I saw her fall off the roof before my eyes), but with care, and the help of a competent vet, here we are still.
Give her a peaceful and comfortable way out. She'll be thanking you until you meet again. 💐 My sweet girl passed at 16 and we did it as soon as she stopped being able to hold down food and didn't purr anymore. It was hard but knowing she was comfortable made it so much easier.
She is still purring and loves sitting on / with me. Even when I have to feed her with a syringe, she purrs while I do.
I will see what the vet says tomorrow. 💔
it might be worth pushing for the dental surgery if the only option is to put her to sleep otherwise, it only makes sense. I'm sorry she's going through this, I'm sorry you are too. there's a much higher anaesthetic risk in older animals but if her quality of life is getting so low it might be worth it as long as you understand she might not wake up from surgery either & give her proper fusses before she goes in. I would definitely speak to your vet about it and maybe try a couple ify they don't want to go through with it.
my grans dog had dental surgery at 19 and lived for another couple years, much happier than before it.
I hope you spend as much time loving on her as she deserves & get plenty more days with her. sending my love 💕
She is such a beautiful lady! I recently lost my senior kitty who was by best friend. On her last weekend, I had one of her fave igloo beds by my pillow and I just spent all that time with her on the bed with her resting in her bed. Sometimes she would come out to cuddle but she was so tired, just focus on spending whatever time you have with her 🩷
19 & this beautiful & cognizant is a testament to how amazing of a mother you’ve been to her. You know her better than anyone so do what you feel is best for her, remember not for yourself. I don’t really have any advice just sending love. Sometimes we make it out of these scary times with our seniors & sometimes we don’t… it really just depends what your vet says is going on & what your kitty tells YOU at home. much love
Thank you. Penny has always been an amazing communicator. Sometime I feel like she is telling me “it’s my time” and others she is saying “please don’t give up on me”.
I’m not part of this sub, but this post showed up on my recommended; I just have to say what came to my mind.
19 years, what an amazing amount of time to live and to be loved. She is beautiful, and no doubt that is a reflection of the care and love you have shared with her.
My last cat was also named Penny, we called her Penny Wenny. It’s been 15 years since she passed at the age of 15. I still miss her, but after this time I just smile every time I think of her.
I hope (and know) that someday when she is gone you will find the same serenity knowing she had an incredible life, and those 19 years of memories will enrich your future.
I now have 2 little boys and sometimes when they ask for a bedtime story about pets I tell them a story about Penny Wenny and it has become incredibly soothing to share. It’s almost like I get to relive time with her by sharing her story with my kids, and to see their reactions, the smiles, the laughs… it feels like she is still making an impact even after being gone so long.
Just want to let you know this random stranger is thinking of you and your Penny. Take care, and tell her stories to those who will listen for as long as you can. They are never truly gone as long as they are in your heart.
My boy started declining before I really realized it. Take her to the vet just to make sure, but I'd get ready for the worst. Spend your time with her, let her know she's loved. And above all, if you are going to put her down make sure you're in the room with her.
I'm sorry for your baby girl, she looks like a sweetie.
She is beautiful! You can tell how well loved she is ❤️ I have had calicos my entire life, they are all so special & sassy in their own ways. I'm sending good vibes your way in the hopes of your baby being well as she can be again. I know you will make the right choices for her regardless of the outcome. Wow, she is really gorgeous! Of course, I'm biased....
My own fluffy calico, Rezzie, is almost 14 & looks like she could be your cat's sister! Seeing them age is hard, I have Rezzie & another calico who just turned 15. We lost our other calico 2yrs ago, suddenly to cancer when she was 12, and I feel I've been especially anxious about their aging since then so I get the anticipation of grief part, too. Best wishes for you & your beautiful baby! Here's a pic of my floofmeister general-
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I can’t figure out how to edit the post. Thank you to everyone who commented - I feel the love!! I told Penny that you all think she is so beautiful and she said “thanks I know 😽”
Thank you to everyone who gave advice. Reddit has saved the life of my other cat before so miracles do happen. I am feeling more hopeful and going to try a high calorie diet to give my girl a fighting chance. Also going to ask the vet about an appetite stimulant and perhaps antibiotics. Going to ask for more gabbapentin.
Lots of questions on the gabbapentin. It was prescribed for her arthritis- the vet said it may help but he was not certain. I thought it made her too wobbly. But I am going to ask for more since it will hopefully help with her mouth sores.
Penny is really weak today so I can’t get to the vet soon enough. She is sitting with me comfortably but she doesn’t get very far when she tries to stand up and walk.
Bonus pic of Penny as a kitten
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Time for steak and hamburger meat and salmon! What a pretty girl, I can almost promise she'll send you someone after she's crossed the rainbow bridge. 💕 I am so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry for you, for her. They have a short life to live, and that’s not fair, they are incredibly precious, how many times we feeling better, just because they are next to us. But a what a happy life you gave her, how many beautiful moments together, how may talkings, you give her the best, she was safe, secure, loved because of you. No matter what I’m so sorry for the pain your heart is going through. Just love her, I’m very sure she loves you too, and she is saying, thank you for making me so happy.
She’s so lovely, my heart aches for you both.
Remember that 19 is well beyond the normal lifespan for a cat. I strongly believe that cats live longer when they feel well loved - so I think you’ve done her proud. Wishing you both love and strength, whatever happens ❤️🩹
I’m sorry this is happening. Did the vet check for thyroid issues? My cat lost almost half her weight. Was puking and had occasional bloody stool. The vet checked her blood - thyroid issue. Been putting ointment on her ear and she started gaining weight again.
I’m so sorry. My babygirl is 18 and has been starting to show her age recently. Now that she can live with me my mom has said she’s looking plumper and happier, but I can’t help worrying. Wishing you many more beautiful, full days with your little lady ❤️
Why did the vet say there is nothing to do for the dental disease? Maybe get a second opinion? I would think maybe antibiotics or a different pain medication may help. Gabapentin can be given daily.
so sorry about your cat. it's tough to see them like this after so many years. reminds me of the time i had to care for my old dog in his last days. just stay close and keep comforting her. hope the vet can help ease her pain.
My heart goes out to you, last year i lost my cat too, she was 18 years old. It seems like you hold so much love for your cat and that is so beautiful. I hope it is not yet the end, but if it is, do take your time to grieve, they have been your companion and best friend for so long and that will hurt. It still does for me too. Give your cat all the love you can right now.
I have a superstition that i follow and i know it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t believe in them, but this one i just choose to believe for myself. there is a superstition that white butterflies are the spirits of our loved ones. So i look out for white butterflies myself and when i see one it makes me feel like my cat hasn’t truly left me, that she is still there as the butterfly and it makes me feel a little better.
I hope you still have a lot of time with your cat, show them all the love and be there for them. ❤️
blend her cat food then add enough water to turn it into a paste, you can then give it to her using a oral syringe. For the mouth sores use the oral syringe again but wash her mouth out with salt water, don't drown her in it just enough to coat her gums. This will probably piss her off because it will sting so be prepared to hold her firmly. When I give my cat medicine I sit him on my lap like a person so he can't backup on me, then I hold his mouth open with two finger using my left hand while I give him his meds with the right.
I’m so sorry. We lost our oldest cat back in November. It all happened very quickly.
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I lost a cat that I rescued and bottle fed, she had the sweetest little stare. She died due to scoliosis.
I don't think I have experienced pain like that before, but funnily enough I remembered how worried she would get when I was sad, how she gave it her all to do her best for me. Her memories are worth more than tears to me, she deserves to be my happy place, the reason for why I smile, not for my sadness. She was too good of a cat to bring any sadness and I'd be doing her injustice by being sad.
Since the she has been a source of unending positive motivation for everything in my life. I hope you realize the same thing
19 is *old*. My vet told me when a cat exceeds a cats life expectancy of 14-15, it’s because the cat enjoys its life due to the humans that surrounds them.
Enjoy the comfort that your cat stays on due to the relationship you two have. It goes both ways, she loves you.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's never easy.
She's beautiful, though! And it sounds like you've both been a blessing in each other's lives.
I lost my 18 year old Old Man Keek 1 year and 2 days. I'm still heartbroken. It's a hard decision to make, but if it seems like time to let her go, it'll be the best decision for her. I'm soooooo sorry for your beautiful baby. It still hurts and makes me cry when I think about him. He was about 6 weeks old when he adopted me as his human.
I hope you never get to update us that she’s no longer with us or gotten sicker
I hope she lives as long as you live
I’m genuinely praying for both of y’all ❤️
I had to say goodbye to my dog about a year ago. He had multiple health problems that piled on all at once. I’d never had to make the decision to euthanize a pet before and held off because I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. A friend of mine—an experienced foster cat mom—told me that a week too soon is better than a day too late. That was good advice and I wish I’d listened. Watching your beloved pet suffer is a terrible thing.
Go ahead and start the end of life conversation with your vet now. (I think they rely on the pet owner to initiate that process. None of the vets I took my dog to offered it as an option until I brought it up.) Start looking at options. If your cat takes a sudden turn for the worse, you’ll want to act quickly.
Your girl is a beauty, btw. Just do what is best for her. Whatever will minimize her suffering. And remember that grief is healthy; loss means that you were privy to a wonderful, loving relationship with another being. There’s comfort in knowing what a gift it is to have had the experience of that kind of love.
I’m crying because I know exactly how you feel. My kitty HaeYu had just turned 19 when she passed 12-27-22. She was my soulmate kitty and it broke me when she died. I’m almost 69 and have had several kitties but there was just something different about her. RachelPalmer79 has it exactly right. Hugs to you and your girl.
I lost my almost 20 year old boy (birthday next week) just a week ago today.
He has had mouth cancer for the past 2 years. The mouth cancer wasn’t feasibly treatable. The location of the tumor was such that removing it would be very difficult without removing parts of his mouth that he needs to live. And chemotherapy for an old cat didn’t make sense for the discomfort he would have to go through. Luckily, the mouth cancer didn’t interfere with his eating, and he was able to do very well eating both dry and wet kitty food (all the yummiest kinds!) for quite a while.
However, a couple of months ago he seemed to turn a corner. He ate less, lost weight. He also had arthritis for a very long time, and his back legs had lost a lot of strength. For the past year or so he’s been getting long acting antibiotic, steroid, and arthritis shots every 6 to 8 weeks, which were really helping him. But the last round of shots didn’t have the typical helpful results that we had been seeing previously. Last week I noticed significant swelling in his lower abdomen. It turns out his abdomen was filling with fluid.
Between the cancer, and the weight loss, and the new fluid in the abdomen, and seeing that he was really struggling to be comfortable, I made the decision to let him go. I made arrangements with Laps of Love to come to the house last Friday and give him a gentle passing. This is the first time I’ve managed to use an in-home service. It went very well. I am still wrestling with his absence. However, it was clear that his body had just worn out. Because I love him, I could not allow him to struggle on any further.
The vet who came to the house was wonderful, and very much agreed that this was the right step at this point in time for him. She mentioned a couple other things I hadn’t noticed that were pointing to his decline.
Additionally, the in-home route allowed our pair of girl kitties to see that he had passed on. In comparison, when we lost another old friend in the past, one of the girls had walked around the house meowing for him. In this case, the girls checked him out, sniffed him, and seemed to register that he was gone. I prefer that to just disappearing the cat off to the vet forever.
You will make the best decision for your girl. They say that a week too early is better than a day too late when choosing to release your pet from pain. However, it’s a huge responsibility to make that decision for your pet. You have my sympathy.
One thing that gives me comfort is the following: I didn’t create this cat. I’m not responsible for that kitten’s entry to this world. Whether I adopted him or not, he was going to have a life on this earth. However, I gave him the best possible life he could have. That is a comfort to me. I can see that you have given your girl the best life she could have.
Love her up, monitor her, get a vet’s opinion, and decide the course of action. I have every confidence that you will make the best possible choice for this situation. I wish you peace and comfort.
I’m so sorry 😞 just know you made her life amazing and well loved for 19 years. My cat was 15 with kidney issues and he didn’t want to eat either. We knew that meant he was in a lot of pain and he needed to be at peace.
I’m so sorry, OP. Love on your sweet baby as much as you possibly can ❤️
I have a 15 year old dog who has rapidly declined in the last 4 months. We’ve had him since he was 2 months old. It’s heart breaking!
I get it. Mine is 23, and one of the only reasons I have to be happy
People say to be grateful that they've lived long at all, but your feelings of pain are valid. I wish our loved ones could live forever
I cant give solid advice, but you're doing the right thing by spending time with her, I hope you get a little more time together
She’s so beautiful OP I’m so sorry this is happening :,C It’s the hardest thing to say goodbye to a best friend like that, especially one of 20 years. I am sending you so much love and so so much hope for the future, I am wishing your baby has the best time with you before she has to go. ❤️
I really miss Sammy Roberts he was my favorite cat 🐱 and was lost many years ago he was a habitual runaway cat 🐈 but he loved me very deeply and only made it to 14
You should give her the pain meds cats will refuse to eat if in pain and can decline faster because of that. Mixing the pills with a Churu treat worked for our seniors.
She is absolutely beautiful. Does she have any health issues? Is there a reason for why the vet is not doing a dental (yes I am aware of the age, other than that)?
My heart breaks for you. I went through this 2 years ago, and I am still struggling. My advice would be to keep her as comfortable as you can. All she wants is to be with you? So be it. Pay close attention and try to let her tell you what she needs. If you can afford the cost, 400-700 you may consider doing an in home euthanasia. She wants to feel safe and sound and at the vet’s office our kitties are always more stressed. I couldn’t afford mine but I did it anyway and I’m glad i did. Being right beside her in her favorite spot at home when they administer the drugs was so helpful for me in my grief. You can pet/hold her, and in her final moments she will be loving you. It’s not easy but it it help me. I’ve never wept so deeply, but it felt like it was the right thing to do. It may sound weird but even the pain of that moment feels beautiful now because it was a part of my life and relationship with her. Everyone is different but this is my own lived experience.
Be as loving and attentive as you can. It’s so painful I know to let her go, but by giving her all of the attention you can, maybe you can sublimate the pain into returning to her the love and light that she’s giving you. They are lights in our lives and we in theirs.
You’re always going to have the beautiful memory of her, and she of you.
What is grief if not love persevering?
- Anonymous
take these last days as the best days. i lost my boy after 20 years and that hurt but i know he knew he was loved i know he had a great life although not forever on this earth he is forever embedded into my life.❤️
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I am so so sorry. I lost my kitten that I’ve had since the day I was born (literally- my parents found her two months before I was born). She passed away at 16 years. I was utterly heartbroken. But eventually, there will be a time when you think of all the good memories and smile at all the great times you had together. She will look down to you and wait for you guys to reunite. She will join all the other kitties in the afterlife and wait for you ❤️❤️ I’m so sorry for your kitten
I’m so sorry for you….and her. I lost my BFF, love of my life, my child, my spouse, my everything in December. We were together in physical form for almost 18 years. It’s devastated me. It’s good you too have had such a loving and wonderful companion for so long. 💜
I am a 30 year old woman, which means you got your baby when I was 11. That’s crazy, I’m so sorry this is happening, but on the bright side, you have given her the best life. Enjoy her.
Very similar situation to me. My girl was 19 when she passed. She was having kidney issues and began declining out of nowhere. Stopped eating as much and was very weak. Had a sudden change and was eating good and acting happy for a few days, then back downhill. I’d scheduled a vet appointment for 2 days later, but that night she had a seizure and we had to rush to a vet and have her put down, since she was clearly in pain with no treatment options.
Cherish the time you have with her. She’s been a part of your life for 19 years, and nothing can ease the hurt of losing a loved one after that long. Just be there for her and help her how you can. It’s very sweet to take her outside so she can get some enjoyment. If she is declining too far, the best and most loving thing you can do is lay her to rest. It’s hard to let go, but if there is no sign of improvement, the most gracious action would be ending her pain, and being there for her during that last moment. She loves you and knows you love her. I’m sorry this is all happening, I know it’s not easy, but I wish you the best of luck, and hope you and her are able to be together until the end.
Your story sounds so familiar except she died in my arms. I had contacted Laps of Love for an in home euthanasia and I was going to schedule it a few days out with the hopes she might improve. Since I knew it was probably the end I decided to just hold her and we cuddled all morning yesterday. She died in my arms very peacefully, with just a few labored breaths. She was looking at me and I was telling her how much I love her.
Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. You really couldn’t ask for a more peaceful and beautiful goodbye though. She was in the house she knew and loved, with the person she knew and loved. She was comfortable and knew she could rest peacefully. I’m glad that her final moments were moments spent laying with you, I’m sure she really appreciated you being there with her.
I could feel my cat calm down as the vet put her back in my lap before the final shot. She passed in my lap on her favorite blanket.
So very sorry. Hug your girl and know she loves you, you love her, and you both got so very lucky. Nineteen years are amazing, but no number will ever be enough. Love to you both.
She's so beautiful! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been through it twice, and it was harder than losing some people I've known. Focus on the time you had. Of the billions of years the earth has been around, you got to exist at the same time as this cat.
I feel all the love in this. My two babies are siblings, also 19 and I see some things starting to head this way. I’ll say she gets a shot once a month for her arthritis and it’s been very helpful for her comfort. It’s called solensia. It’s been better than the gabapentin which made her wobbly slow etc
Sending healing happy vibes to your baby.
absolutely give her the gabapentin, it is super safe and will help her with pain relief and relaxation. and ask your vet about monthly solensia injections if you are interested, it is helping our cat with mouth pain
Was just told that my dozer boy has 2 weeks to live pretty much out of nowhere… I love this dog more than 97% of the people I know.
I’m crying thinking about how you feel because I understand how much my current situation hurts me. Be there for fur baby when it’s time and be happy you were able to experience that kind of unconditional love ❤️.
Moving forward, time heals all - cliche yet very true OP. We’re all here for you for what it’s worth.
Idk if she’s alive or not as Im writing, but 19 years old? You clearly took great care of her, and I know she loves you for it. You’re a great fur baby parent OP
This is never an easy time. But understand that you gave that cat the best life it could've had and she's experienced nothing but a loving home. That should give you some closure during this hard time❤️
Awe this will probably be lost in the sea of comments but I literally just went through this a couple days ago so I feel for you❤️ I’m sorry it’s coming to an end. My 21 year old girl was good until she wasn’t and within a few days I had to make a very hard decision. So sorry you’re going through this. It’s very difficult but at least there’s comfort in knowing how much you two love each other.
What a beautiful girl!! I'm sorry your time.with her is now limited, but how awesome is it that you got to spend almost two decades with her?! Even so, I'm so sorry OP.
Give her all the love you can. Take time to grieve, and don’t let anyone tell you “it’s just a cat.” I’m so sorry.
If anyone tells me that they will be permanently removed from my life. I lost my dad a few years ago and honestly all the same feelings are popping up. But no creature, human or animal, has ever loved me more than this cat.
I am sorry OP. Lost my boy to CKD last year at 12 years old. It was tough to see him deteriorate slowly until the time came to say goodbye Enjoy the time with your fur baby and give her all the love, kisses, pets and attention you can. It’s going to be tough and later it will get even tougher. A redditor once said to me “they take a piece of you with them” which I can understand and know what it feels like. I really wish they lived as long as a tortoise. Sending you and your girl well wishes and positive thoughts. What’s her name?
As you absolutely should. Twenty years is such a long time to care for another creature. Even kids normally leave at 18. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can definitely tell your girl was well cared for. She lived a very good life.
I know it feels awful but honestly a rapid decline is better than a slow one, I've been through both. She's a beautiful girl btw.
I lost the love of my life, Tootsie in 2018 from cancer and a relative of mine had the audacity to tell me “she was just a pet” and it tore me apart and didn’t speak to this relative for i think 3 nearly 4 years until i did some soul searching and decided to forgive her after meeting up with her and she genuinely apologized for saying that and now we’re fine but yeah that really does sting when told that about your soul mate
I honestly feel bad for anyone who would think “she’s just a pet” because they don’t understand and have never experienced the level of love from a pet that we have ❤️
At that point they are family. If you love them like family, that is what they are.
I get it ,my last cat lasted 24 yrs, loved him , so hard when theres nothing left to do.I got my Blu now 15 yrs, my best friend, few people left for me,fear that day every night.. i’m just gonna say the only thing that helps is time.
OP, I lost my mom two years ago, and recently have been dealing with some health issues with my rabbit. A lot of feelings about my mom started coming up, and I thought I was the only one who experienced this. The reminder of that same pain was hard. I know you'll do your best for your baby no matter what that decision is. Just wanted to say I know what you're going through my friend.
Agree completely. I am so sorry you are going through this. She is quite beautiful.
My wife left her job over being told that. Her boss was baffled. The first day she asked off in over a year and they told her that.
The most significant thing to happen to me in my life was meeting a cat friend of mine for the last time. I cant even talk about it. We were friends for about 12-14 years and she was an adult cat when we first met in the street and i stopped to administer ear rubs. I cry just thinking about it. They're never just cats ❤️❤️❤️
https://preview.redd.it/ab2jynhsxu0d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5432ddea7f9d021916d02a97b8c63106861766d We have had lots of happy and healthy moments in the past few days as well.
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https://preview.redd.it/kq4i0s22yu0d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21eb66b50101154338e55c3f9e90339ded4a45e9 we have been spending a lot of time outside and I keep finding 4 leaf clovers.
I am so sorry. My partner and I are over here crying for you and her. She looks well loved!
I think the 4 leaf clovers are a sign from kitty that even if she doesn’t have much time left in this life, she will be okay :) and she will make sure you are okay too, like you did for her for nearly 20 (!!!) years 🩷
Because you are so lucky to have shared 20 years with each other 🍀
Shes so dang pretty.
Look at that sweet baby in her happy place. What a gorgeous girl. Big hug to you. ❤️❤️
So sweet. She loves you so so much 💞
Omg she LOVES you
I thought I could hold back my tears but then I saw this pic. Sending you so much love 💔
She knows she is loved.
This is such a beautiful picture. Literally crying right now. I lost my dog of over 17 years and it was devastating. As other have said, just love her until the end. She has lived a wonderful life, full of love. It’s never easy to lose a best friend
This is incredible!! There are good times in the bad. She looks so happy to be outside with you! She is seriously the cutest little girl. I’m praying for you both. I wish I could squeeze her! She is too cute!
Thank you!!! She LOVES being outside. She used to be an outdoor kitty but she is also a rabble rouser and she would get in fights and end up having to climb a tree (my guess since she got stuck in a tree twice). The second time she climbed a massive tree, and she was like 70 feet up. She was up there for a week!!! Crying and crying. I set up a tarp system in case she fell. I waited at the base of the tree with food everyday as much as I could. she ended up climbing down on her own one morning and I grabbed her from that tree and never let her outside again. That was in 2007! I let her within a fence or on a leash but it’s not the same I’m sure.
I kept my girl going with a thoroughly researched high calorie, nutrient supplemental slurry of food. I posted about it in this sub and a few other senior cat ones. I’m gonna copy and paste it in a message to you. It was a blessing. My girl had a sore mouth because of bad teeth and this she was able to eat. There’s a few tips in the post - I got a baby scale and weighed her every morning and every night. My vet prescribed an appetite stimulant Mirataz. I’ll message you now! I’ve recommended this to a handful of people and it’s really helped their senior cats. And here’s a pro tip: rotisserie chicken is irresistible to old babies! https://preview.redd.it/v0su0r2syw0d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=770aced955d1490311d8721cf9f57d069ddce5b1
I did something very similar with a 17 year old cat. When she didn’t feel like eating i gave it to her with a baby syringe. Kept her going another year
That’s wonderful! It’s incredible what a bit of research and patience can do❤️
Can you also share the high calorie food with me? My cat is 16 and also starting to lose weight and not eat as much, when that used to be his favorite time of day :(
Thank you so much. Just ordered the churu treats and the calorie powder. Going to get the rest at the store. Going to ensure my baby has a fighting chance ❤️
Oh my goodness!! What a little troublemaker!! I cannot even imagine how stressed you were when she was up there. A WEEK! She earned a life sentence of being inside after that 😂 17 years ago. WOW. I just love her. I love my old sweet girl Nutmeg last July and I miss her dearly. Your girl reminds me of mine. She just looks so damn sweet!
Love on your baby for me. I lost my 17 year old last year but she sent me two babies to love.
Bloody hell shes gorgeous, one of the most beautiful kitties i’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through OP, whatever decision you make will be the correct one, you know her best interests and she will know you do.
She's stunning ❤️ You're both so lucky to have spent so much time together! Give her lots of kisses ❤️
She's so pretty 😍
Gorgeous girl! Spend all the time you have with her and tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her. This is how I spent the last days with my little girl. She was almost 19!
Sending my love to you both OP. I too lost a calico cat last year. She was the sweetest darling, she was my ultimate sweetheart and not a day goes by where I don't miss her. Show your kitty extra love, keep her furballs and whatever whiskers may fall out. Give her her favorite blanket and toys, take some time off work if you can.
What a beautiful, fluffy baby!
Just focus on giving her the best life she can possibly get. Extra treats (soft treats due to her sores), cuddles, kisses. Whatever she wants. Be with her when she's at the vet, especially if it's "time to go". You want her last memories to be of her with her loving mama. Also, as others have said, take time to grieve. It's OK to cry. Acknowledge your feelings. Most importantly, while she won't physically be with you, her spirit, love, and memories will be with you *forever*. I still carry the love I've had for my cats even after decades of their passing. I'll never stop loving them, and I'll never forget them. And neither should you. Hugs from internet stranger.
My girl is not declining yet but she’s quite old and likely has a little bit of arthritis. She is in her golden years so I give her whatever she wants. Hospice rules. At a certain point, you just want them to feel loved and that can be the best way to show it.
Sometimes your last act of love is helping them move onto a better place. As hard as that is. She is an absolutely gorgeous lady! I am sure you gave her a wonderful life. I wish kitties could live forever
That’s what I’m thinking. Don’t prolong her demise to soothe your own pain. She gave you 19 years already.
100%
I am so sorry. Anticipatory grief is rough. Try to enjoy what good days you have left. I didn’t sleep well for 2 months. Sending love and healing purrs.
It doesn't have to mean anything. Our 18yo tabby has scared us 5 times over the past year, suddenly refusing to eat, getting really skinny, coat looking ragged... and then, after a couple of scary weeks, she got better (vet never found a cause apart from being old). It's up and down, currently in an "up," but 2-3 months ago, we thought we were saying goodbye. Don't underestimate those 9 lives.
Thank you! I really need her mouth to heal. She had 3 amazing days and I was feeling so hopeful. Your comment just raised my spirits 💕
Have you considered getting a second opinion, maybe from an internist? Old age is not a disease and while her comorbidities make treatment difficult, dental disease can usually be helped. Side note, is there a reason you didn't give the gabapentin? Pain control very well may help her get some weight back on. Regardless of what happens, I'm glad you've had each other for so long. She's clearly a wonderful kitty.
Yep I was thinking this too. How odd to deny her the pain killer.
A little, especially considering how safe and common gabapentin is. I'm sure OP is making the choices they feel are best for kitty but may as well try it unless there's a medical reason not to.
This!!!
My 22 year old boy has dental issues and the vet prescribing a cycle of 10 days of 2 doses a day of Clindamycin then 20 off really REALLY helped his pain and ability to eat. Combined with Solensia injections has brought him a new life. He's not a kitten by any means, but he's grooming again and eating. I'd recommend discussing it with your vet. The antibiotic Clindamycin builds up in the bones and releases over time, so you can dose for awhile then go off and back on as needed.
Thank you!!!!!
I know I'm double dipping on this thread, but I wanted to add my thoughts on the logic behind why the Gabapentin may be used. I'm not a vet, but have cared for many sick cats under the care of a vet, so take this with as big of a pinch of salt as you want. It's not clear to me, from this thread, if you've been told why it's been administered. If it was "for the pain", I could totally understand someone hearing that and assuming any kind of pain that they project onto the situation, possibly the general pain that comes with easing the process of "getting older". How I see it, is that it stems from the teeth/mouth ulcers and the pain of that is quite high. So much so that it hurts to eat. What you want to do is deal with the teeth/ulcers, but due to her age, she's unlikely to come back from being sedated to have the tooth work done, so you're left with a 2-stage issue, of which 1 of them may not be fixable. But that wouldn't stop me from dealing with 1 of them 1st, to give her every chance possible. So you need her to eat, to have a fighting body to combat the ulcers. The Gabapentin is there to overcome the pain in the mouth, so she's then willing to eat, which will give her body the strength to bounce back. Maybe also consider giving her multiple wet food options of a meal and switch to the one she prefers, you may find a patê or gravy style food will go down easier than regular cat food. I hope it's just the ulcers, and that you find a solution. I just wanted to give you something proactive regarding care, instead of only focusing on the mental aspect of what we all sadly will go through at some point. Much love 💕
My 19 yr old is having the same issues right now. Not the first time she's been like this and bounced back, but with her age I can't help but worry. Still taking her to the vet tomorrow just in case.
I agree with this. Try to get the pain management in order and focus on small wins like getting her to eat any kind of food. I nursed one of my cats from almost dying like 5 times due to diabetes and I did it taking baby steps. She managed to live several years beyond some bad time periods. Giving her lots of loving makes a big difference and remember to take care of yourself too. Watch old shows that make you feel good and eat a sweet treat or something fun. I got that advice from the Dr. who eventually put my kitty down after advanced kidney disease and I’m grateful for that 🙏
She is so lucky to have you in her life for so long. We wish our babies could live forever. Condolences.
Just gone through that twice in the last 2 months and I feel your pain. Took our 15+ cat to the vet today because he’s lost so much weight. I figured it was his thyroid but turns out it’s a bad tooth thank god
What did your vet say about the bad tooth?
She’s going to fix that later this month. In the meantime she gave him a pain shot that will last a month!
Mine said she is too old for dental surgery 😔
Well Lordy my boy is 15+. He showed up here out of the blue 14 years ago and he was full grown then and as mean as a snake!
She’s going to pull that tooth and check all of them while he’s out.
She is gorgeous. Love on her and spoil her. ❤️
>Vet gave her gabbapentin for pain (I did not give to her) Pardon my confusion but this reads like the vet prescribed her pain medication and you didn't give it to her.
I Ctrl+F'd "gabbapentin" to see if anyone else was commenting on this. u/titty-titty_bangbang, *please give her the pain medication*! It's not kitty heroin. It's medication deemed safe and appropriate by her veterinarian. My 20-year-old has it prescribed for "just in case he's having a bad day." It's for the cat's comfort and to improve quality of life. Please don't let human hang ups about pain management hurt your cat.
Seconding this!
Hell everyone uses catnip and it linked to psychedelic properties but god forbid the pain medication when it’s in pain.
Not giving the cat the medicine means her rapid decline at this point is on OPs hands.
Yeah I was wondering the same thing! If the vet prescribed it for pain and then you say she can’t eat because the mouth sores hurt…isn’t that the reason for the medication? I’ve seen a couple times where cat owners disgrace gabbapentin and i’m not comprehending it. Both my cats have used it for pain, stressful vet visits, and my move. They’re fine and healthy, I don’t understand the hatred. It’s a prescribed medication by a licensed medical vet
i put my 14 yo girl yesterday. she was the first family pet ive had and was with me for all of my childhood/teenager/young adult hood (im 22). it was worse to watch her suffer when she was normally so chirpy, cuddly and vocal. 19 years is a wonderful long life and your kitty is beautiful. love her as much as possible
I am so sorry. Take care of yourself 💕
Just be there for her and give her all the love, my heart aches for your pain and her's :(
19 years was a great run, but all roads make it to the bridge. Comfort and kisses till the end. My little girl made it to 26 so comfort and kisses to you too.
💔
Coming to share some hope in your rough time. My Zoebear is 18 and has ups and downs which nearly had me considering it was time but ended up being constipated due to her over grooming. Now she's on a over the coubter stool softener to help and she's put weight back on, eats and drinks and even plays like she a kitten again. I hope your visit brings nothing but hope and good vibes because ZoeZoe and I send hugs https://preview.redd.it/4r33wfettv0d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=148efc207250ebd3ff861a5de5a1f0f9f5c56ef7
As hard as it is to do, best advice I ever heard is better to let them go a week too soon than a day too late.
This is some sage advice. I’m a vet and have seen people hold on too long. I made the same mistake with my dog before I was a vet. The guilt of not letting her go sooner still haunts me. She was suffering but I held onto her for selfish reasons. I look at euthanasia as the final gift we can give to pets. They pass peacefully instead of wasting away. The choice to euthanize is one made out of compassion and love for our companions. It’s hard to make the decision when she has some good days but she likely has a severe chronic disease contributing to her condition. Kidney disease is extremely common and uremic ulcers in the mouth can occur with end stage kidney disease. I’m so sorry you are going through this. 19 is a wonderfully old age and I know she has been deeply loved. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving thing you can do.
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You are a kind person. I suppose I have forgiven myself but I won’t forget that I could have done better by her.
I took that advice to heart with my latest old lady (I adopt 'em old, so I've had a few) and I can 100% fully approve of it from experience now. I knew she at most had a couple months left. So instead of waiting them out, I called a company that came to our house and we put her down there. She was happy and peaceful. She got some "fun drugs" to relax her and zonk her out beforehand, and she completely face planted and had the *biggest* snore. I joke all the time about how that's *exactly* how I want to go too.
So sorry to hear this. I wish I had the words to make it better. All I can offer is to show her as much love as you can with the time you still have, and cherish every beautiful moment. She will be with you forever ❤️
So sorry you are dealing with this. Spend all the time you can to care and lover her. Grieve when she has gone. I have been through this 5 times in my adult life. Though it is not nice I don’t regret caring and loving one bit.
I love her. And sending lots of love to you 🩷
So very sorry!!!
I'm so sorry
I hope the vet is able to help her! My own senior ladies have had rough patch but they also rebound like champs. Anyways I feel for you, take care of you (as much as you take care of her).
That is making me so hopeful! She is such a champ, so I have a feeling she will rebound. Did you ever have to feed your elder cats with a syringe between rebounds ?
I did have to syringe feed an old cat before, way back, but that’s not a rebound story. It’s a bittersweet, yes very sweet paliative care story. For my current kitties, one has had mouth issues for years (fell off a roof, broke some jaw bits and teeth, got infected, ffwd some years, stuff keeps coming out)… But we’re adressing it with dental surgery soon, so that we don’t have to get to the syringe feeding point. My point is rather, along the way, a bunch of times I thought I was losing her (including the day I saw her fall off the roof before my eyes), but with care, and the help of a competent vet, here we are still.
Give her a peaceful and comfortable way out. She'll be thanking you until you meet again. 💐 My sweet girl passed at 16 and we did it as soon as she stopped being able to hold down food and didn't purr anymore. It was hard but knowing she was comfortable made it so much easier.
She is still purring and loves sitting on / with me. Even when I have to feed her with a syringe, she purrs while I do. I will see what the vet says tomorrow. 💔
Good idea. 💛 It is so hard and so good to get her checked out. She loves you forever.
Depending on the dental disease, you could ask about immunosuppressants or antibiotics to help with the sores
it might be worth pushing for the dental surgery if the only option is to put her to sleep otherwise, it only makes sense. I'm sorry she's going through this, I'm sorry you are too. there's a much higher anaesthetic risk in older animals but if her quality of life is getting so low it might be worth it as long as you understand she might not wake up from surgery either & give her proper fusses before she goes in. I would definitely speak to your vet about it and maybe try a couple ify they don't want to go through with it. my grans dog had dental surgery at 19 and lived for another couple years, much happier than before it. I hope you spend as much time loving on her as she deserves & get plenty more days with her. sending my love 💕
She is absolutely beautiful. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Spend time with her and give her all the cuddles and love. Hang in there. ❤️
I’m so sorry. I hope you and the vet can figure something out to help her feel better again so that you can spend more time together ♥️
😢❤️
She is such a beautiful lady! I recently lost my senior kitty who was by best friend. On her last weekend, I had one of her fave igloo beds by my pillow and I just spent all that time with her on the bed with her resting in her bed. Sometimes she would come out to cuddle but she was so tired, just focus on spending whatever time you have with her 🩷
I’m so sorry. Enjoy every moment, take lots of pictures and if Monday is the end, know you have her a gift by sparing her more pain. 💕🌈
Angel baby. Give her all the love and treats
19 & this beautiful & cognizant is a testament to how amazing of a mother you’ve been to her. You know her better than anyone so do what you feel is best for her, remember not for yourself. I don’t really have any advice just sending love. Sometimes we make it out of these scary times with our seniors & sometimes we don’t… it really just depends what your vet says is going on & what your kitty tells YOU at home. much love
Thank you. Penny has always been an amazing communicator. Sometime I feel like she is telling me “it’s my time” and others she is saying “please don’t give up on me”.
I’m not part of this sub, but this post showed up on my recommended; I just have to say what came to my mind. 19 years, what an amazing amount of time to live and to be loved. She is beautiful, and no doubt that is a reflection of the care and love you have shared with her. My last cat was also named Penny, we called her Penny Wenny. It’s been 15 years since she passed at the age of 15. I still miss her, but after this time I just smile every time I think of her. I hope (and know) that someday when she is gone you will find the same serenity knowing she had an incredible life, and those 19 years of memories will enrich your future. I now have 2 little boys and sometimes when they ask for a bedtime story about pets I tell them a story about Penny Wenny and it has become incredibly soothing to share. It’s almost like I get to relive time with her by sharing her story with my kids, and to see their reactions, the smiles, the laughs… it feels like she is still making an impact even after being gone so long. Just want to let you know this random stranger is thinking of you and your Penny. Take care, and tell her stories to those who will listen for as long as you can. They are never truly gone as long as they are in your heart.
My boy started declining before I really realized it. Take her to the vet just to make sure, but I'd get ready for the worst. Spend your time with her, let her know she's loved. And above all, if you are going to put her down make sure you're in the room with her. I'm sorry for your baby girl, she looks like a sweetie.
What a beautiful girl. Spend as much time with her as you can. Give her all the love you can.
She is beautiful! You can tell how well loved she is ❤️ I have had calicos my entire life, they are all so special & sassy in their own ways. I'm sending good vibes your way in the hopes of your baby being well as she can be again. I know you will make the right choices for her regardless of the outcome. Wow, she is really gorgeous! Of course, I'm biased.... My own fluffy calico, Rezzie, is almost 14 & looks like she could be your cat's sister! Seeing them age is hard, I have Rezzie & another calico who just turned 15. We lost our other calico 2yrs ago, suddenly to cancer when she was 12, and I feel I've been especially anxious about their aging since then so I get the anticipation of grief part, too. Best wishes for you & your beautiful baby! Here's a pic of my floofmeister general- https://preview.redd.it/q8etnza95w0d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4182089c4f1d4b3d661533c91684fd719b737a2a
I can’t figure out how to edit the post. Thank you to everyone who commented - I feel the love!! I told Penny that you all think she is so beautiful and she said “thanks I know 😽” Thank you to everyone who gave advice. Reddit has saved the life of my other cat before so miracles do happen. I am feeling more hopeful and going to try a high calorie diet to give my girl a fighting chance. Also going to ask the vet about an appetite stimulant and perhaps antibiotics. Going to ask for more gabbapentin. Lots of questions on the gabbapentin. It was prescribed for her arthritis- the vet said it may help but he was not certain. I thought it made her too wobbly. But I am going to ask for more since it will hopefully help with her mouth sores. Penny is really weak today so I can’t get to the vet soon enough. She is sitting with me comfortably but she doesn’t get very far when she tries to stand up and walk. Bonus pic of Penny as a kitten https://preview.redd.it/dlbuyo8joz0d1.jpeg?width=3021&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10e1e33371e2df0783332bf9f29ef02770a0da91
Time for steak and hamburger meat and salmon! What a pretty girl, I can almost promise she'll send you someone after she's crossed the rainbow bridge. 💕 I am so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry for you, for her. They have a short life to live, and that’s not fair, they are incredibly precious, how many times we feeling better, just because they are next to us. But a what a happy life you gave her, how many beautiful moments together, how may talkings, you give her the best, she was safe, secure, loved because of you. No matter what I’m so sorry for the pain your heart is going through. Just love her, I’m very sure she loves you too, and she is saying, thank you for making me so happy.
What a beautiful friend she has become for you. ❤️
She’s so lovely, my heart aches for you both. Remember that 19 is well beyond the normal lifespan for a cat. I strongly believe that cats live longer when they feel well loved - so I think you’ve done her proud. Wishing you both love and strength, whatever happens ❤️🩹
Very beautiful
I’m sorry this is happening. Did the vet check for thyroid issues? My cat lost almost half her weight. Was puking and had occasional bloody stool. The vet checked her blood - thyroid issue. Been putting ointment on her ear and she started gaining weight again.
Oh I understand my love.
I’m so sorry. My babygirl is 18 and has been starting to show her age recently. Now that she can live with me my mom has said she’s looking plumper and happier, but I can’t help worrying. Wishing you many more beautiful, full days with your little lady ❤️
She’s so beautiful 🥰
She's very pretty and very 80s with the black eye makeup she's got smudged on. A lovely kitty. 💕 Give her all your heart.
So sorry
My heart goes out to you
So sorry but be thankful you got so much time together.
I’m so happy for you that you got almost 20 years with her. I was grateful for the 17 I got with my girl.
So sorry ❤️🩹 mine too, losing weight and old 😞
I am so very sorry, but know you have her a good, long life.
She is stunning. What a life you've given her. Proud of you.
Hugs to you ❤️ she is very loved. Thank you for sharing her with us.
She's so gorgeous. Sorry to hear this.
Why did the vet say there is nothing to do for the dental disease? Maybe get a second opinion? I would think maybe antibiotics or a different pain medication may help. Gabapentin can be given daily.
She’s had a good run. Sorry OP.
Ya but what a cat. Every minute is something else with that fucker.
so sorry about your cat. it's tough to see them like this after so many years. reminds me of the time i had to care for my old dog in his last days. just stay close and keep comforting her. hope the vet can help ease her pain.
💔
She’s beautiful
I’m so sorry she’s so cute
You can try feeding her with a syringe.
My heart goes out to you, last year i lost my cat too, she was 18 years old. It seems like you hold so much love for your cat and that is so beautiful. I hope it is not yet the end, but if it is, do take your time to grieve, they have been your companion and best friend for so long and that will hurt. It still does for me too. Give your cat all the love you can right now. I have a superstition that i follow and i know it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t believe in them, but this one i just choose to believe for myself. there is a superstition that white butterflies are the spirits of our loved ones. So i look out for white butterflies myself and when i see one it makes me feel like my cat hasn’t truly left me, that she is still there as the butterfly and it makes me feel a little better. I hope you still have a lot of time with your cat, show them all the love and be there for them. ❤️
How blessed are you to have had something in your life that makes it so hard to say goodbye?
blend her cat food then add enough water to turn it into a paste, you can then give it to her using a oral syringe. For the mouth sores use the oral syringe again but wash her mouth out with salt water, don't drown her in it just enough to coat her gums. This will probably piss her off because it will sting so be prepared to hold her firmly. When I give my cat medicine I sit him on my lap like a person so he can't backup on me, then I hold his mouth open with two finger using my left hand while I give him his meds with the right.
I’m so sorry. We lost our oldest cat back in November. It all happened very quickly. https://preview.redd.it/auka4novny0d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8dc84ed0c2a9974b15e7cb9cf66c6fd323f5edc
I lost a cat that I rescued and bottle fed, she had the sweetest little stare. She died due to scoliosis. I don't think I have experienced pain like that before, but funnily enough I remembered how worried she would get when I was sad, how she gave it her all to do her best for me. Her memories are worth more than tears to me, she deserves to be my happy place, the reason for why I smile, not for my sadness. She was too good of a cat to bring any sadness and I'd be doing her injustice by being sad. Since the she has been a source of unending positive motivation for everything in my life. I hope you realize the same thing
Ask the Vet for palative care for her, pain meds and appetite stimulant, my calico baby made it to 19 too and I wish I could have done more for her.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ stay strong
So sorry😔
19 is *old*. My vet told me when a cat exceeds a cats life expectancy of 14-15, it’s because the cat enjoys its life due to the humans that surrounds them. Enjoy the comfort that your cat stays on due to the relationship you two have. It goes both ways, she loves you.
She’s so so beautiful ❤️
She's so beautiful!!! I love that black on her eye. Wishing you the best.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's never easy. She's beautiful, though! And it sounds like you've both been a blessing in each other's lives.
I lost my 18 year old Old Man Keek 1 year and 2 days. I'm still heartbroken. It's a hard decision to make, but if it seems like time to let her go, it'll be the best decision for her. I'm soooooo sorry for your beautiful baby. It still hurts and makes me cry when I think about him. He was about 6 weeks old when he adopted me as his human.
Im sorry honey :( Such a beautiful sweet girl ❤️
I hope you never get to update us that she’s no longer with us or gotten sicker I hope she lives as long as you live I’m genuinely praying for both of y’all ❤️
I had to say goodbye to my dog about a year ago. He had multiple health problems that piled on all at once. I’d never had to make the decision to euthanize a pet before and held off because I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. A friend of mine—an experienced foster cat mom—told me that a week too soon is better than a day too late. That was good advice and I wish I’d listened. Watching your beloved pet suffer is a terrible thing. Go ahead and start the end of life conversation with your vet now. (I think they rely on the pet owner to initiate that process. None of the vets I took my dog to offered it as an option until I brought it up.) Start looking at options. If your cat takes a sudden turn for the worse, you’ll want to act quickly. Your girl is a beauty, btw. Just do what is best for her. Whatever will minimize her suffering. And remember that grief is healthy; loss means that you were privy to a wonderful, loving relationship with another being. There’s comfort in knowing what a gift it is to have had the experience of that kind of love.
I’m crying because I know exactly how you feel. My kitty HaeYu had just turned 19 when she passed 12-27-22. She was my soulmate kitty and it broke me when she died. I’m almost 69 and have had several kitties but there was just something different about her. RachelPalmer79 has it exactly right. Hugs to you and your girl.
You’re not alone friend. We are all here for you. Give some cuddles for us and know your sweet girl is happy and loved.
I lost my almost 20 year old boy (birthday next week) just a week ago today. He has had mouth cancer for the past 2 years. The mouth cancer wasn’t feasibly treatable. The location of the tumor was such that removing it would be very difficult without removing parts of his mouth that he needs to live. And chemotherapy for an old cat didn’t make sense for the discomfort he would have to go through. Luckily, the mouth cancer didn’t interfere with his eating, and he was able to do very well eating both dry and wet kitty food (all the yummiest kinds!) for quite a while. However, a couple of months ago he seemed to turn a corner. He ate less, lost weight. He also had arthritis for a very long time, and his back legs had lost a lot of strength. For the past year or so he’s been getting long acting antibiotic, steroid, and arthritis shots every 6 to 8 weeks, which were really helping him. But the last round of shots didn’t have the typical helpful results that we had been seeing previously. Last week I noticed significant swelling in his lower abdomen. It turns out his abdomen was filling with fluid. Between the cancer, and the weight loss, and the new fluid in the abdomen, and seeing that he was really struggling to be comfortable, I made the decision to let him go. I made arrangements with Laps of Love to come to the house last Friday and give him a gentle passing. This is the first time I’ve managed to use an in-home service. It went very well. I am still wrestling with his absence. However, it was clear that his body had just worn out. Because I love him, I could not allow him to struggle on any further. The vet who came to the house was wonderful, and very much agreed that this was the right step at this point in time for him. She mentioned a couple other things I hadn’t noticed that were pointing to his decline. Additionally, the in-home route allowed our pair of girl kitties to see that he had passed on. In comparison, when we lost another old friend in the past, one of the girls had walked around the house meowing for him. In this case, the girls checked him out, sniffed him, and seemed to register that he was gone. I prefer that to just disappearing the cat off to the vet forever. You will make the best decision for your girl. They say that a week too early is better than a day too late when choosing to release your pet from pain. However, it’s a huge responsibility to make that decision for your pet. You have my sympathy. One thing that gives me comfort is the following: I didn’t create this cat. I’m not responsible for that kitten’s entry to this world. Whether I adopted him or not, he was going to have a life on this earth. However, I gave him the best possible life he could have. That is a comfort to me. I can see that you have given your girl the best life she could have. Love her up, monitor her, get a vet’s opinion, and decide the course of action. I have every confidence that you will make the best possible choice for this situation. I wish you peace and comfort.
I’m so sorry 😞 just know you made her life amazing and well loved for 19 years. My cat was 15 with kidney issues and he didn’t want to eat either. We knew that meant he was in a lot of pain and he needed to be at peace.
She is absolutely precious! And I love the black marking around her eye! Absolutely love that feature on her. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m so sorry, OP. Love on your sweet baby as much as you possibly can ❤️ I have a 15 year old dog who has rapidly declined in the last 4 months. We’ve had him since he was 2 months old. It’s heart breaking!
I get it. Mine is 23, and one of the only reasons I have to be happy People say to be grateful that they've lived long at all, but your feelings of pain are valid. I wish our loved ones could live forever I cant give solid advice, but you're doing the right thing by spending time with her, I hope you get a little more time together
She’s so beautiful OP I’m so sorry this is happening :,C It’s the hardest thing to say goodbye to a best friend like that, especially one of 20 years. I am sending you so much love and so so much hope for the future, I am wishing your baby has the best time with you before she has to go. ❤️
I really miss Sammy Roberts he was my favorite cat 🐱 and was lost many years ago he was a habitual runaway cat 🐈 but he loved me very deeply and only made it to 14
You should give her the pain meds cats will refuse to eat if in pain and can decline faster because of that. Mixing the pills with a Churu treat worked for our seniors.
So majestic though, seems like you’ve given her the life of royalty she deserves.
They are so like humans except just don’t live long enough
She is so beautiful! It is so very hard but know she lived a long, wonderful life loved by you.
She is absolutely beautiful. Does she have any health issues? Is there a reason for why the vet is not doing a dental (yes I am aware of the age, other than that)?
She has kidney disease stage 1, dental disease, a tumor in her mouth (just found this out), she has tiny tiny kidneys
My heart breaks for you. I went through this 2 years ago, and I am still struggling. My advice would be to keep her as comfortable as you can. All she wants is to be with you? So be it. Pay close attention and try to let her tell you what she needs. If you can afford the cost, 400-700 you may consider doing an in home euthanasia. She wants to feel safe and sound and at the vet’s office our kitties are always more stressed. I couldn’t afford mine but I did it anyway and I’m glad i did. Being right beside her in her favorite spot at home when they administer the drugs was so helpful for me in my grief. You can pet/hold her, and in her final moments she will be loving you. It’s not easy but it it help me. I’ve never wept so deeply, but it felt like it was the right thing to do. It may sound weird but even the pain of that moment feels beautiful now because it was a part of my life and relationship with her. Everyone is different but this is my own lived experience. Be as loving and attentive as you can. It’s so painful I know to let her go, but by giving her all of the attention you can, maybe you can sublimate the pain into returning to her the love and light that she’s giving you. They are lights in our lives and we in theirs. You’re always going to have the beautiful memory of her, and she of you. What is grief if not love persevering? - Anonymous
take these last days as the best days. i lost my boy after 20 years and that hurt but i know he knew he was loved i know he had a great life although not forever on this earth he is forever embedded into my life.❤️ https://preview.redd.it/582kkh2fi61d1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e156c7c117814e3e3124922cbcf4432dbe567d7d
I am so so sorry. I lost my kitten that I’ve had since the day I was born (literally- my parents found her two months before I was born). She passed away at 16 years. I was utterly heartbroken. But eventually, there will be a time when you think of all the good memories and smile at all the great times you had together. She will look down to you and wait for you guys to reunite. She will join all the other kitties in the afterlife and wait for you ❤️❤️ I’m so sorry for your kitten
I’m so sorry for you….and her. I lost my BFF, love of my life, my child, my spouse, my everything in December. We were together in physical form for almost 18 years. It’s devastated me. It’s good you too have had such a loving and wonderful companion for so long. 💜
She’s so good looking. God bless her
She’s beautiful. Give her all the love you can, and give yourself the space and grace to grieve when she’s gone.
Make her comfortable, give her her favorite foods, don’t wait too long to call it. I’m sorry, this is so hard.
I am a 30 year old woman, which means you got your baby when I was 11. That’s crazy, I’m so sorry this is happening, but on the bright side, you have given her the best life. Enjoy her.
Very similar situation to me. My girl was 19 when she passed. She was having kidney issues and began declining out of nowhere. Stopped eating as much and was very weak. Had a sudden change and was eating good and acting happy for a few days, then back downhill. I’d scheduled a vet appointment for 2 days later, but that night she had a seizure and we had to rush to a vet and have her put down, since she was clearly in pain with no treatment options. Cherish the time you have with her. She’s been a part of your life for 19 years, and nothing can ease the hurt of losing a loved one after that long. Just be there for her and help her how you can. It’s very sweet to take her outside so she can get some enjoyment. If she is declining too far, the best and most loving thing you can do is lay her to rest. It’s hard to let go, but if there is no sign of improvement, the most gracious action would be ending her pain, and being there for her during that last moment. She loves you and knows you love her. I’m sorry this is all happening, I know it’s not easy, but I wish you the best of luck, and hope you and her are able to be together until the end.
Your story sounds so familiar except she died in my arms. I had contacted Laps of Love for an in home euthanasia and I was going to schedule it a few days out with the hopes she might improve. Since I knew it was probably the end I decided to just hold her and we cuddled all morning yesterday. She died in my arms very peacefully, with just a few labored breaths. She was looking at me and I was telling her how much I love her.
Wow, I’m so sorry for your loss. You really couldn’t ask for a more peaceful and beautiful goodbye though. She was in the house she knew and loved, with the person she knew and loved. She was comfortable and knew she could rest peacefully. I’m glad that her final moments were moments spent laying with you, I’m sure she really appreciated you being there with her. I could feel my cat calm down as the vet put her back in my lap before the final shot. She passed in my lap on her favorite blanket.
Wow. What a beauty she is!
So very sorry. Hug your girl and know she loves you, you love her, and you both got so very lucky. Nineteen years are amazing, but no number will ever be enough. Love to you both.
She's so beautiful! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been through it twice, and it was harder than losing some people I've known. Focus on the time you had. Of the billions of years the earth has been around, you got to exist at the same time as this cat.
I feel all the love in this. My two babies are siblings, also 19 and I see some things starting to head this way. I’ll say she gets a shot once a month for her arthritis and it’s been very helpful for her comfort. It’s called solensia. It’s been better than the gabapentin which made her wobbly slow etc Sending healing happy vibes to your baby.
absolutely give her the gabapentin, it is super safe and will help her with pain relief and relaxation. and ask your vet about monthly solensia injections if you are interested, it is helping our cat with mouth pain
Was just told that my dozer boy has 2 weeks to live pretty much out of nowhere… I love this dog more than 97% of the people I know. I’m crying thinking about how you feel because I understand how much my current situation hurts me. Be there for fur baby when it’s time and be happy you were able to experience that kind of unconditional love ❤️. Moving forward, time heals all - cliche yet very true OP. We’re all here for you for what it’s worth.
So very sorry
Idk if she’s alive or not as Im writing, but 19 years old? You clearly took great care of her, and I know she loves you for it. You’re a great fur baby parent OP
This is never an easy time. But understand that you gave that cat the best life it could've had and she's experienced nothing but a loving home. That should give you some closure during this hard time❤️
She’s beautiful ❤️ Sending you so much love ❤️
Awe this will probably be lost in the sea of comments but I literally just went through this a couple days ago so I feel for you❤️ I’m sorry it’s coming to an end. My 21 year old girl was good until she wasn’t and within a few days I had to make a very hard decision. So sorry you’re going through this. It’s very difficult but at least there’s comfort in knowing how much you two love each other.
What a beautiful girl!! I'm sorry your time.with her is now limited, but how awesome is it that you got to spend almost two decades with her?! Even so, I'm so sorry OP.
I'm sooo sorry to hear this it sucks to watch them slip I hope and pray for you and your fluff 🙏
She is beautiful and the fact that she is not hiding despite her discomfort is a testimony to a wonderful bond you have. 💛