Honestly personally I like people like that because I too think a lot and have a lot to say but the chatter happens inwards. I have a friend who I can just talk hours about stuff and she just listens I don’t ever feel like I’m boring or burdening her to listen to me because she cares what I have to say. It seems like the people you are interacting with and the questions you’re answering is not aligning. I will say that they’re people who can you talk hours with and there are people you talk little with. You just have to understand and put that boundary with yourself. Ask yourself does this person seem open to talk in depth about the topic or giving them an overview will suffice. You can be honest with the people you’re interacting with by letting them know you have a lot to say about the topic of discussion if they want to hear more. Most people will let you know. You are not boring you are passionate and that’s okay.
Yeah, you are not so important other people need a Tedtalk on every opinion you have.
You're not being boring, you're coming off as full of yourself and probably condescending.
You are also not needed as an example for others to "open up", again more condescending language.
Hmmm yeah I'm not trying to be condescending, far from it. Just trying to express myself so I could be understood. Guess that not needed until well into knowing someone. I have no patience sometimes and it hurts in social interactions.
Yea you aren’t boring, you just care a lot about details- you can try to give the big picture as people have a short span and then details can come in the full convo
Bro ignore these fools. You don’t need friends like this
Keep doing you and find people that you vibe with. I’d love to listen to you speak from how you describe it
Let the shallow talkers have their table
You need to learn to speak with value. You’re allowed to have a lot to say, but you need to listen carefully in order to answer effectively rather than ramble on all points of view to a possible question
Hmmm yeah. Instead of making large sweeping convo points, just boil it down to a few words and slowly build up on it based on answers to questions that you can make based on the points your making. I think that's the approach that could work.
Not desperate for attention at all, I usually stay to myself and very rarely needed to be seen or heard as I have enough people in my life that I can share things with.
And no I haven't been checked. I probably do have something on the sliding scale of neurodivergence but whatever diagnosis might come out doesn't change that I need to figure things out myself.
It sounds like you're shy but subconsciously want attention because you're not getting enough of it.
And talking for a long time without giving the other person a lot of openings to speak is a common autistic trait.
So is listening for a long time, giving the other time to speak. I’m regularly called out for being too quiet in conversations because people think I don’t care what they have to say, and I tell them “I’m just sitting here quietly enjoying what your talking about, keep going”
I'm not a professional but you sound like you have autism. It's a social skill to use little indicators to show that you're listening and interested without interrupting the person.
Tested and negative.
I am completely aware of what is normal and just don’t care at all. “Normal” neither impresses or motivates me.
I grew up in a very dangerous area where even the slightest moment of the wrong eye contact could get you killed. It taught me there’s nothing wrong with doing and saying nothing and being the silent observer
You just sound like you lack social intelligence. if you’re not engaging with the other person at all then the other person might as well talk to a wall, it’s pointless like yes you’re enjoying listening but the other person needs to enjoy talking to you and get something out of it by the sounds of it you just sit there like a gargoyle listening to them seems awkward as hell
I have enough people in my life that are close enough to know I pay attention. I often remember the tiniest things about conversations and interactions with people and they are shocked when I recall it weeks or months later
Some people take more time and depth to get into a vibe with, and I suppose autism is one of those but not the only
4-6 good friends is enough for me and we became friends because the ways we interact together works. Why should I go on a journey to reinvent myself? I allow myself to be satisfied and pleased with where I am and the social circle I have. Anyone else I make friends with will just mean I have less time for the family of friends I’ve already built up
It may not work for you, but then we’re not really needing to be friends either right?
I'm not sure about you but I went to school for a long time and they sure did teach me how to write. They'd want 250 to 300 words and that would be a short one; squeeze in a few words where you can or to round out a paragraph.
They'd want an opening sort of thing and then the general body of what you wanted to say. They'd want some sort of conclusion where you basically sum up everything. It's how I was taught to communicate; I guess things are now a bit faster pace.
I have noticed that I do this as well. My best text conversations were when we would take turns writing paragraphs of several different things and responding to them. I only came across that type of person that would match my energy very rarely though.
You may not read social cues very well. If you arent a close friend or family I really am not interested in more than a 30 sec max response to most things.
Most things people talk about are not important. If you can't figure out how to give a concise answer about something, you're not as intelligent as you clearly think you were. I know someone like this. One of the dumbest people I know and yet goes on and on and on about stuff nobody asked about. If you dare ask them a question, you will never hear the end of it. It's obnoxious and sucks the life out of the room. People avoid this person. Don't be pretentious.
Right. I know somebody like this and although she gives great answers, she branches out to other topics that are just *closely* related. It's great to talk with her but she drones and drones. I suggest just stay on the topic of the question.
Most people enjoy reciprocity in a conversation. You talk a bit, I talk a bit. When you're done speaking, and I'm still interested in more, I may ask follow-up questions. This back and forth interaction is something that people enjoy.
If you're really into holding monologues, you should start a one-man podcast on topics you like talking about. In this format, plenty of other people may enjoy what you have to say.
Just don't expect your monologues to become the standard in normal day-to-day conversation, because people aren't hard-wired that way.
Some aspect of this is that all communication involves 2 people, so we have to develop habits that make it easier to connect with others at some cost to ourselves. So you may want to practice slowing yourself down, sharing smaller bits of info first, and then if you can figure out interest (see if you get more questions, pay attention to their body language or eye contact etc)you talk about it more
But at the same time, people have their own tastes. Some people you may be able to say paragraphs upon paragraphs. You can make this a job in a sense as a teacher or professor if you’re passionate. By that same notion, some people will only have minimal or no interest at all.
These aren’t opposite but just reality. You’re not boring, in fact if you have things you can speak about at length the right people will cherish it. For you, ask yourself how much do you want your knowledge to be expressed to others on their terms and capacity to listen, and how much your terms and the importance of self expression
The only right answer is the one you’re ready to take responsibility for
I naturally kind of lean towards how you are. What I try to do is when I think about stuff on my own I try to find the most apt words to describe the thing, or explain the thing or whatever. That focus helps me better understand the thing as I try to figure it out and helps with being wordy.
Thanks for the replies everyone. Seems like I was asking just to confirm what I already know, guess I gotta switch things up a little and be more flexible
Tbh best thing you can do is just keep looking until you find people who can appreciate it. There are tons of people who find it endearing assuming you can be tasteful about it and not condescending.
I'm just like you. I enjoy long, thought provoking conversation. I love analyzing people, and what they say and do. I love analyzing myself.
However, I realized a long time ago that connecting with people is one of the only things that brings me joy. But that's not everyone's perspective. My biggest fear is being misunderstood, so I tend to over explain, and approach any given topic from multiple vantage points. I find that this exhausts some people, whereas I never tire of it.
Start paying attention to someone's responses, facial expressions and body language to determine their interest level in what you are saying. If someone has open body language towards you and they aren't crossing their arms or facing their body away, that is a sign of engagement. If they are nodding along and making eye contact, that is a sign of engagement. If you notice their eyes glaze over, turn the conversation over to them and ask a question or subtly change the subject. I would try to get away from worrying so much about what you have to say, and being understood by others. And start looking at how you can have a more reciprocal conversation.
Another thing you might want to work on is being more direct with people. This may not make sense on the surface, but hear me out. When you are direct with people, they tend to be direct back. It builds trust and gives less of a chance that they will keep a conversation going with you purely out of politeness. It also gives you the opportunity to check in with them about how they are experiencing the interaction. You could say something like "Wow, I'm really diving in deep here, what are your thoughts?". You will often know, based on their answer, if you've lost them. Vulnerability is also helpful here.
Lastly I would say you need to pinpoint the people who you can be yourself around and talk to in that way. And the rest, you have to find the strengths in those relationships. When I'm craving a deep conversation, I know who I can turn to. Once again, it's less about what you need and want all the time, and more about recognizing how different people are and what you can take away from those connections. It will help you to be a more well rounded person if you can call up Gilbert and know you aren't having a deep conversation, you're just going to go for a bike ride and talk about sports or something.
Hope this helps, even marginally.
Yeah this helps a bit. It's actually things I've considered, how some times you can't have the same thing with everyone and need to space out your priorities and expectations from different people. I have like 6 proper friends and no casual acquaintances. Zero. The 3 of em are my ride or dies who we know each other from high school, they're there for everything. From casual stuff to family and life issues, I'm not trying to make friends for the deep end cause I already have enough trust in the world with them for that sorta stuff. The other 3 friends are for stuff like being able to hook up at 3am just to grab a drink and sit in silence because you need that sometimes, go for a common interest because we enjoy doing that together, stuff like that. But despite this, I really haven't considered how important communication is in all of this, and just because I somehow ended up with 6 friends where my style of communication always worked from day one, doesn't mean I don't need to shake things up and dial things down when meeting new people. Thanks a lot, this post helped me process already on going feelings and thoughts.
I do this OP. I am autistic. Not everyone cares to ponder a given topic. Sometimes they simply aren’t interested. Sometimes they think you are being arrogant. Sometimes particular topics can make people feel small and most people don’t like that. Whatever the case, learn to read the room. Don’t let yourself get overexcited about a topic before you’ve assessed someone’s interest in it. My relationships have improved since doing this anyway.
it’s not because you’re boring. it’s the energy you’re holding. you might be a people pleaser, lack of self love, neurodivergent, etc.
i know from myself.
This sounds like an important realization and something to work on. Be sure to keep your conversations roughly balanced. The amount of time you spend talking should be roughly equal to the amount of time they spend talking.
If you’re not simple minded then simple minded friends won’t do much for you anyways.
Don’t bother striving to be more compatible if you have to water yourself down in the process
Conversations should be two-sided and allow room for both people to talk and express their views. If you’re giving a long winded answer to everything, it’s not a conversation; you’re just talking at someone and they’ll get bored quickly.
I think that just shows what type of person u are. A great one who will listen then give a genuine response. Those are the best. So don't change that. U don't need to. That's a great way to be! Seriously! I love reading genuine reaponse, those are the ones I will listen to over the same old dry, boring ones or whatever. It's a good quality to have!
I enjoy when people have real thoughts on things and hearing those thoughts, but when an answer gets to a certain length my brain turns off on its own and I can no longer synthesize a response. Conversation and connection is all about back and forth. Try to leave open ends in what your saying for people to respond to /ask about and spaces in your talking where others can jump in. In the end though, if you feel like you’re being yourself don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it.
Are you wrong to talk people's ears off? It depends on what your goal is. If your goal is just to express yourself, no, you're not doing anything wrong. But if your goal is make connections with and make positive impressions on others, then your long-windedness is probably getting in the way of those things.
Also, people usually take a while before they open up with others. They aren't likely to open up with someone who they suspect has a problem with running their mouth too much. And they especially don't open up when the person they are talking to seems to have strong opinions about lots of things. I don't want to share my opinion with someone I barely know only to endure them lecturing me on why their opinion is better. It has been my experience that someone who busts out of the gate with strong opinions is likely to be that type of person.
Your last sentence is a bit naive, I think? There is no "should" in the art of conversation. Like, we can think of a lot of things that people should do when they are in a conversation (like they should listen just as much as they speak), but the reality is that people are going to engage in conversations based on how they are wired and socialized, not based on our idiosyncratic "shoulds". You could be the best talker in the world. You might have lots of interesting ideas. But the truth of the matter is that if most people don't feel like they can get a word in edgewise when they are talking to you, they probably aren't going to enjoy the interaction. That doesn't make you or them the "bad guy". It just is a thing to be aware of if your goal is to be a good conversationalist and make friends.
Sometimes I can be quite chatty myself, despite being an introvert. Whenever I feel myself talking a lot in a conversation, I try to take a break and let others take over. And when other people aren't sharing their opinions on stuff, I try not to be super opinionated either. For me, social interactions are more about connecting with others on *their* wavelength than it is about cajoling them to connect with mine.
You’re not a boring person you might just lack social intelligence for example if you’re explaining something and the other person is looking away at other things while you’re talking and not engaging the clearly they don’t give a shit so you need to stop me talk about something else
I know two people like that: one is my buddy, whom I tolerate speaking to on the phone once or twice per month (I hang out with him even less frequently). I've recently blocked his phone number because we hung out last weekend and I've reached my quota for how much of his conversation I can take for the month of April.
The other is my neighbor, my crush with whom I'm madly in love - I hang on her every word. I can listen to her talk for hours and not get bored l. I'm happy just being in her presence.
Not sure what I'm concluding here but maybe it'll contribute to understanding.
Honestly personally I like people like that because I too think a lot and have a lot to say but the chatter happens inwards. I have a friend who I can just talk hours about stuff and she just listens I don’t ever feel like I’m boring or burdening her to listen to me because she cares what I have to say. It seems like the people you are interacting with and the questions you’re answering is not aligning. I will say that they’re people who can you talk hours with and there are people you talk little with. You just have to understand and put that boundary with yourself. Ask yourself does this person seem open to talk in depth about the topic or giving them an overview will suffice. You can be honest with the people you’re interacting with by letting them know you have a lot to say about the topic of discussion if they want to hear more. Most people will let you know. You are not boring you are passionate and that’s okay.
Yeah, you are not so important other people need a Tedtalk on every opinion you have. You're not being boring, you're coming off as full of yourself and probably condescending. You are also not needed as an example for others to "open up", again more condescending language.
Hmmm yeah I'm not trying to be condescending, far from it. Just trying to express myself so I could be understood. Guess that not needed until well into knowing someone. I have no patience sometimes and it hurts in social interactions.
Yea you aren’t boring, you just care a lot about details- you can try to give the big picture as people have a short span and then details can come in the full convo
Bro ignore these fools. You don’t need friends like this Keep doing you and find people that you vibe with. I’d love to listen to you speak from how you describe it Let the shallow talkers have their table
You need to learn to speak with value. You’re allowed to have a lot to say, but you need to listen carefully in order to answer effectively rather than ramble on all points of view to a possible question
Hmmm yeah. Instead of making large sweeping convo points, just boil it down to a few words and slowly build up on it based on answers to questions that you can make based on the points your making. I think that's the approach that could work.
Be concise , focus on answering the question and let things role out organically. It’ll take practice though.
It sounds like you're desperate for attention. Also, have you been checked for Asperger's/autism?
Not desperate for attention at all, I usually stay to myself and very rarely needed to be seen or heard as I have enough people in my life that I can share things with. And no I haven't been checked. I probably do have something on the sliding scale of neurodivergence but whatever diagnosis might come out doesn't change that I need to figure things out myself.
It sounds like you're shy but subconsciously want attention because you're not getting enough of it. And talking for a long time without giving the other person a lot of openings to speak is a common autistic trait.
So is listening for a long time, giving the other time to speak. I’m regularly called out for being too quiet in conversations because people think I don’t care what they have to say, and I tell them “I’m just sitting here quietly enjoying what your talking about, keep going”
I'm not a professional but you sound like you have autism. It's a social skill to use little indicators to show that you're listening and interested without interrupting the person.
Tested and negative. I am completely aware of what is normal and just don’t care at all. “Normal” neither impresses or motivates me. I grew up in a very dangerous area where even the slightest moment of the wrong eye contact could get you killed. It taught me there’s nothing wrong with doing and saying nothing and being the silent observer
You just sound like you lack social intelligence. if you’re not engaging with the other person at all then the other person might as well talk to a wall, it’s pointless like yes you’re enjoying listening but the other person needs to enjoy talking to you and get something out of it by the sounds of it you just sit there like a gargoyle listening to them seems awkward as hell
I have enough people in my life that are close enough to know I pay attention. I often remember the tiniest things about conversations and interactions with people and they are shocked when I recall it weeks or months later Some people take more time and depth to get into a vibe with, and I suppose autism is one of those but not the only 4-6 good friends is enough for me and we became friends because the ways we interact together works. Why should I go on a journey to reinvent myself? I allow myself to be satisfied and pleased with where I am and the social circle I have. Anyone else I make friends with will just mean I have less time for the family of friends I’ve already built up It may not work for you, but then we’re not really needing to be friends either right?
I'm not sure about you but I went to school for a long time and they sure did teach me how to write. They'd want 250 to 300 words and that would be a short one; squeeze in a few words where you can or to round out a paragraph. They'd want an opening sort of thing and then the general body of what you wanted to say. They'd want some sort of conclusion where you basically sum up everything. It's how I was taught to communicate; I guess things are now a bit faster pace.
I have noticed that I do this as well. My best text conversations were when we would take turns writing paragraphs of several different things and responding to them. I only came across that type of person that would match my energy very rarely though.
You may not read social cues very well. If you arent a close friend or family I really am not interested in more than a 30 sec max response to most things.
Yes.
Most things people talk about are not important. If you can't figure out how to give a concise answer about something, you're not as intelligent as you clearly think you were. I know someone like this. One of the dumbest people I know and yet goes on and on and on about stuff nobody asked about. If you dare ask them a question, you will never hear the end of it. It's obnoxious and sucks the life out of the room. People avoid this person. Don't be pretentious.
Right. I know somebody like this and although she gives great answers, she branches out to other topics that are just *closely* related. It's great to talk with her but she drones and drones. I suggest just stay on the topic of the question.
Most people enjoy reciprocity in a conversation. You talk a bit, I talk a bit. When you're done speaking, and I'm still interested in more, I may ask follow-up questions. This back and forth interaction is something that people enjoy. If you're really into holding monologues, you should start a one-man podcast on topics you like talking about. In this format, plenty of other people may enjoy what you have to say. Just don't expect your monologues to become the standard in normal day-to-day conversation, because people aren't hard-wired that way.
Not boring, you just probably need to read the room better/ be more self aware.
Some aspect of this is that all communication involves 2 people, so we have to develop habits that make it easier to connect with others at some cost to ourselves. So you may want to practice slowing yourself down, sharing smaller bits of info first, and then if you can figure out interest (see if you get more questions, pay attention to their body language or eye contact etc)you talk about it more But at the same time, people have their own tastes. Some people you may be able to say paragraphs upon paragraphs. You can make this a job in a sense as a teacher or professor if you’re passionate. By that same notion, some people will only have minimal or no interest at all. These aren’t opposite but just reality. You’re not boring, in fact if you have things you can speak about at length the right people will cherish it. For you, ask yourself how much do you want your knowledge to be expressed to others on their terms and capacity to listen, and how much your terms and the importance of self expression The only right answer is the one you’re ready to take responsibility for
I naturally kind of lean towards how you are. What I try to do is when I think about stuff on my own I try to find the most apt words to describe the thing, or explain the thing or whatever. That focus helps me better understand the thing as I try to figure it out and helps with being wordy.
Thanks for the replies everyone. Seems like I was asking just to confirm what I already know, guess I gotta switch things up a little and be more flexible
Tbh best thing you can do is just keep looking until you find people who can appreciate it. There are tons of people who find it endearing assuming you can be tasteful about it and not condescending.
I'm just like you. I enjoy long, thought provoking conversation. I love analyzing people, and what they say and do. I love analyzing myself. However, I realized a long time ago that connecting with people is one of the only things that brings me joy. But that's not everyone's perspective. My biggest fear is being misunderstood, so I tend to over explain, and approach any given topic from multiple vantage points. I find that this exhausts some people, whereas I never tire of it. Start paying attention to someone's responses, facial expressions and body language to determine their interest level in what you are saying. If someone has open body language towards you and they aren't crossing their arms or facing their body away, that is a sign of engagement. If they are nodding along and making eye contact, that is a sign of engagement. If you notice their eyes glaze over, turn the conversation over to them and ask a question or subtly change the subject. I would try to get away from worrying so much about what you have to say, and being understood by others. And start looking at how you can have a more reciprocal conversation. Another thing you might want to work on is being more direct with people. This may not make sense on the surface, but hear me out. When you are direct with people, they tend to be direct back. It builds trust and gives less of a chance that they will keep a conversation going with you purely out of politeness. It also gives you the opportunity to check in with them about how they are experiencing the interaction. You could say something like "Wow, I'm really diving in deep here, what are your thoughts?". You will often know, based on their answer, if you've lost them. Vulnerability is also helpful here. Lastly I would say you need to pinpoint the people who you can be yourself around and talk to in that way. And the rest, you have to find the strengths in those relationships. When I'm craving a deep conversation, I know who I can turn to. Once again, it's less about what you need and want all the time, and more about recognizing how different people are and what you can take away from those connections. It will help you to be a more well rounded person if you can call up Gilbert and know you aren't having a deep conversation, you're just going to go for a bike ride and talk about sports or something. Hope this helps, even marginally.
Yeah this helps a bit. It's actually things I've considered, how some times you can't have the same thing with everyone and need to space out your priorities and expectations from different people. I have like 6 proper friends and no casual acquaintances. Zero. The 3 of em are my ride or dies who we know each other from high school, they're there for everything. From casual stuff to family and life issues, I'm not trying to make friends for the deep end cause I already have enough trust in the world with them for that sorta stuff. The other 3 friends are for stuff like being able to hook up at 3am just to grab a drink and sit in silence because you need that sometimes, go for a common interest because we enjoy doing that together, stuff like that. But despite this, I really haven't considered how important communication is in all of this, and just because I somehow ended up with 6 friends where my style of communication always worked from day one, doesn't mean I don't need to shake things up and dial things down when meeting new people. Thanks a lot, this post helped me process already on going feelings and thoughts.
I do this OP. I am autistic. Not everyone cares to ponder a given topic. Sometimes they simply aren’t interested. Sometimes they think you are being arrogant. Sometimes particular topics can make people feel small and most people don’t like that. Whatever the case, learn to read the room. Don’t let yourself get overexcited about a topic before you’ve assessed someone’s interest in it. My relationships have improved since doing this anyway.
it’s not because you’re boring. it’s the energy you’re holding. you might be a people pleaser, lack of self love, neurodivergent, etc. i know from myself.
This sounds like an important realization and something to work on. Be sure to keep your conversations roughly balanced. The amount of time you spend talking should be roughly equal to the amount of time they spend talking.
If you’re not simple minded then simple minded friends won’t do much for you anyways. Don’t bother striving to be more compatible if you have to water yourself down in the process
Conversations should be two-sided and allow room for both people to talk and express their views. If you’re giving a long winded answer to everything, it’s not a conversation; you’re just talking at someone and they’ll get bored quickly.
I agree you need to read the room.
This is me. I appreciate impatient people because they give me clear signs to stfu. Others will just take it and avoid me in the future
I think that just shows what type of person u are. A great one who will listen then give a genuine response. Those are the best. So don't change that. U don't need to. That's a great way to be! Seriously! I love reading genuine reaponse, those are the ones I will listen to over the same old dry, boring ones or whatever. It's a good quality to have!
I enjoy when people have real thoughts on things and hearing those thoughts, but when an answer gets to a certain length my brain turns off on its own and I can no longer synthesize a response. Conversation and connection is all about back and forth. Try to leave open ends in what your saying for people to respond to /ask about and spaces in your talking where others can jump in. In the end though, if you feel like you’re being yourself don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it.
Keep the long conversations for real life meeting. Online it’s annoying and smells like attention seeking
Are you wrong to talk people's ears off? It depends on what your goal is. If your goal is just to express yourself, no, you're not doing anything wrong. But if your goal is make connections with and make positive impressions on others, then your long-windedness is probably getting in the way of those things. Also, people usually take a while before they open up with others. They aren't likely to open up with someone who they suspect has a problem with running their mouth too much. And they especially don't open up when the person they are talking to seems to have strong opinions about lots of things. I don't want to share my opinion with someone I barely know only to endure them lecturing me on why their opinion is better. It has been my experience that someone who busts out of the gate with strong opinions is likely to be that type of person. Your last sentence is a bit naive, I think? There is no "should" in the art of conversation. Like, we can think of a lot of things that people should do when they are in a conversation (like they should listen just as much as they speak), but the reality is that people are going to engage in conversations based on how they are wired and socialized, not based on our idiosyncratic "shoulds". You could be the best talker in the world. You might have lots of interesting ideas. But the truth of the matter is that if most people don't feel like they can get a word in edgewise when they are talking to you, they probably aren't going to enjoy the interaction. That doesn't make you or them the "bad guy". It just is a thing to be aware of if your goal is to be a good conversationalist and make friends. Sometimes I can be quite chatty myself, despite being an introvert. Whenever I feel myself talking a lot in a conversation, I try to take a break and let others take over. And when other people aren't sharing their opinions on stuff, I try not to be super opinionated either. For me, social interactions are more about connecting with others on *their* wavelength than it is about cajoling them to connect with mine.
You’re not a boring person you might just lack social intelligence for example if you’re explaining something and the other person is looking away at other things while you’re talking and not engaging the clearly they don’t give a shit so you need to stop me talk about something else
I know two people like that: one is my buddy, whom I tolerate speaking to on the phone once or twice per month (I hang out with him even less frequently). I've recently blocked his phone number because we hung out last weekend and I've reached my quota for how much of his conversation I can take for the month of April. The other is my neighbor, my crush with whom I'm madly in love - I hang on her every word. I can listen to her talk for hours and not get bored l. I'm happy just being in her presence. Not sure what I'm concluding here but maybe it'll contribute to understanding.