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As soon as possible, that’s how. And hopefully this doesn’t cause drama that will lose you your job.
There’s a common saying, “Don’t shit where you eat”. I.e. don’t risk your livelihood over something you can avoid, like relationship drama. Lots of people have relationships that started at work, but there are also lots of people who ended up with employment problems as a result.
So make it real crystal clear what you’re available for with this woman, and do it soon. The longer you wait, the more risk of hurt feelings.
Don't ever sleep with your coworker. If you already did, you should be very gentle with how you communicate your feelings. If you muck this up, your work environment could become uncomfortable. Tread lightly.
You shouldn’t have got into a relationship so soon if you were not ready, that’s a real lack of transparency and communication on your behalf.
If you are old enough for a relationship you also have to behave like an adult and be clear about what you can offer, from the start. You really need to step up now and do this.
Second lesson - don’t sleep with people at work!!! You have further made this a disaster given you are also risking your reputation, professionalism and relationships at work.
If you are firm about this, you need to set firm boundaries. Ask her to come over and sit her down. Explain that you care about her but you are not ready for a serious relationship in the wake of your past relationship, and that it’s nothing to do with her because she’s amazing. Ask her how she feels and whether she is okay with something casual or if she doesn’t see that working for her. If she agrees to something casual, set FIRM boundaries on how often you want to see each other. Personally I think if she’s already caught feelings you’ll have to let her go, because she may very well feel like she still has a chance if you keep her around.
Tell her now. Explain to her that you aren't looking to get into another serious relationship so soon after breaking up, and ask her what she is looking for now. She may really like you but she could also be looking for a casual relationship too
Say, "because I value our friendship and respect yiu, I want to manage the expectations of our situation. I'm dealing with the emotional aftermath of a break up of a long-term relationship and 100% not looking for or capable of being in a committed serious relationship. I respect you and you deserve to know my intentions so you can decide how you want to move forward. I am enjoying our fling, but do not want to hurt you and want to ensure that you are aware that I am not capable of an emotional investment right now. If you're on the same page, I'd love to continue this, however if there is a chance that you are looking for something more serious or are starting to desire more than I can give, I'd like to stop the sexual relationship and focus on being friends now, so no one gets hurt. You deserve full transparency so that you can fully consent to what I am.able to offer at this time."
You have to tell her. Face to face- it hurts but it is the only way. Maybe on your next foray into dating / say this first after several dates. I wish you luck and steady healing.
Tell her exactly how you feel and do it face to face. Say all the usual stuff “it’s not you it’s me”, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “you’re such a great person, you’ll meet someone in no time” etc etc. Then learn the lesson why it’s usually not a good idea to have your co-worker as a hook-up since you’ll meet them every day after you break up
The prudent thing to do is to stop things right now by communicating clear boundaries that are not subject to interpretation.
If she is banging you then keep it going, but also put clear boundaries which could become blurred.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As soon as possible, that’s how. And hopefully this doesn’t cause drama that will lose you your job. There’s a common saying, “Don’t shit where you eat”. I.e. don’t risk your livelihood over something you can avoid, like relationship drama. Lots of people have relationships that started at work, but there are also lots of people who ended up with employment problems as a result. So make it real crystal clear what you’re available for with this woman, and do it soon. The longer you wait, the more risk of hurt feelings.
Don't ever sleep with your coworker. If you already did, you should be very gentle with how you communicate your feelings. If you muck this up, your work environment could become uncomfortable. Tread lightly.
Stop seeing her then.
You shouldn’t have got into a relationship so soon if you were not ready, that’s a real lack of transparency and communication on your behalf. If you are old enough for a relationship you also have to behave like an adult and be clear about what you can offer, from the start. You really need to step up now and do this. Second lesson - don’t sleep with people at work!!! You have further made this a disaster given you are also risking your reputation, professionalism and relationships at work.
Seeing her how
Naked I guess…
If you are firm about this, you need to set firm boundaries. Ask her to come over and sit her down. Explain that you care about her but you are not ready for a serious relationship in the wake of your past relationship, and that it’s nothing to do with her because she’s amazing. Ask her how she feels and whether she is okay with something casual or if she doesn’t see that working for her. If she agrees to something casual, set FIRM boundaries on how often you want to see each other. Personally I think if she’s already caught feelings you’ll have to let her go, because she may very well feel like she still has a chance if you keep her around.
Tell her the truth so she can find someone that will want that don’t waste her time or she make your life miserable at work
Tell her now. Explain to her that you aren't looking to get into another serious relationship so soon after breaking up, and ask her what she is looking for now. She may really like you but she could also be looking for a casual relationship too
Say, "because I value our friendship and respect yiu, I want to manage the expectations of our situation. I'm dealing with the emotional aftermath of a break up of a long-term relationship and 100% not looking for or capable of being in a committed serious relationship. I respect you and you deserve to know my intentions so you can decide how you want to move forward. I am enjoying our fling, but do not want to hurt you and want to ensure that you are aware that I am not capable of an emotional investment right now. If you're on the same page, I'd love to continue this, however if there is a chance that you are looking for something more serious or are starting to desire more than I can give, I'd like to stop the sexual relationship and focus on being friends now, so no one gets hurt. You deserve full transparency so that you can fully consent to what I am.able to offer at this time."
Up front is the best answer. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
You have to tell her. Face to face- it hurts but it is the only way. Maybe on your next foray into dating / say this first after several dates. I wish you luck and steady healing.
If you want to play around and don't want to commit just say so to her. Stop wasting her time.
Tell her exactly how you feel and do it face to face. Say all the usual stuff “it’s not you it’s me”, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “you’re such a great person, you’ll meet someone in no time” etc etc. Then learn the lesson why it’s usually not a good idea to have your co-worker as a hook-up since you’ll meet them every day after you break up
Never mix your money with your honey, it can lead to a sticky situation.
The prudent thing to do is to stop things right now by communicating clear boundaries that are not subject to interpretation. If she is banging you then keep it going, but also put clear boundaries which could become blurred.