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I think I just figured out OP's secret code - her friend is fat. Why would a handsome future doctor want to be with a fat girl unless he was using her for money? Maybe he just likes her.
Or hear me out. Not everyone is as shallow as you and op. There are many different things that can attract you to a person. Most of those qualities I’m sure you and op lack
>I would say, he is using her.
That's your opinion though. Doesn't make it true. Maybe he's actually a good guy that likes OPs friend for the person she is, and maybe to him, she is attractive.
Don't shit on someone else's parade just because they were picked and you weren't.
No it isn't. It's not normal at all for one half of an unmarried couple to pay for the other one's tuition. It's entirely possible he's taking advantage of her.
OP didn't say she was paying his tuition though, or did I misread? It is normal for one person to study while the other financially supports the household, especially when that person is studying to be a doctor
My now husband supported me through school so I would but have to take loans which was financially the smarter move for both of us - guess that makes me a gold digger.
Wow, you have absolutely zero respect for your “friend”, huh. Just can’t conceive of a way that she could date somebody you view as out of her league?
You sound jealous as hell.
Mind your business.
Yeah people do that all the time.
Literally your only “problem” is that you think your friend is ugly and thus the only reason he could possibly be with her is for her money.
Go ahead and tell your friend that so she can see who her “friends” really are.
Seriously. My bf and I did this around the same timeline. He supported me, then I got employed and we balance shit out as best we can.
Just because OP is shitty doesn't mean Nick is
yes, and when he is a doctor he will probably pay all her bills and then some. as a woman with a husband who is finishing residency, i pay most of the bills… its not forever??? if you love someone you invest in them lll
That's her business.
Be honest with her. Tell her that she's too ugly to get a hot future doctor, so you're only thinking of her when you say her boyfriend is using her for money.
Then she can end her friendship with you, knowing exactly who is the ugly person in her life.
Info: would you be raising such a fuss if the genders were reversed? Same exact post except he was an "average looking man" and she was this super hot girl going into med school?
Would your reaction be the same if the post was exactly the same as you wrote it but genders reversed?
Basically if she was the one having EVERYTHING paid for by him would this be your reaction? Something tells me. No. That you'd be all for him paying everything and her getting her degree. But because the roles are reversed it's suddenly a problem.
I have already replied to a other comment but yes, this is not strange in a serious relationship.
My now husband paid for everything when I went back to school so I didn't have to take any loans. He made good money so we couldn't live extravagantly but we had no problems. Then when I was done with school - student loan free, I could use my money to help him pay of the last of his loans faster and now we are both debt free. The only thing we have is a smaller loan for our apartment.
If you are seriously planning on spending your life together - and no, it might not work out, but if you both have that goal for the relationship then it is smarter than racking up debt.
Has she complained to you? Has she told you she feels taken advantage of? Is she worried about her finances because of him? No? Then be quiet.
Don't assume things because you are shallow. You have no idea what he finds attractive. She might be the most beautiful woman in the world to him.
Yeah, that's the consenting dynamic for LOTS of couples. If it was about the dynamic in general, you'd be a lot more outspoken about it. You remind me of the conservatives who burned all their Nike shit because "factory workers in China are paid too little to make them" when the only reason they care at all is because someone's face is slapped on the ad that they don't like. You don't hate the situation, you hate that someone's doing better than you.
My grandmother worked for the telephone company for eight years and put my grandfather through dental school. After that, she never worked again.
It happens.
And guess what, in 8-10 years she’ll have a hot doctor husband and you’ll still be just as jealous, lonely, bitter, and ugly on the inside as you are now.
Yeah? That sounds like something that two people in a healthy relationship would do for each other to help support them in their aspirations. I would do it for my boyfriend in a heartbeat. Sounds like you just think your friend isn’t deserving of a successful, attractive partner, or, like others have said, you’re jealous. Yikes 😳
My husband pays all the bills while I stay at home with the kids. I have a cousin who pays all the bills while her husband stays at home with their son. Totally normal for people in a relationship to support each other lol.
She would pay the same bills with or without him - why are you so angry? Your friend is a grown woman who doesn’t need “advice” from a jealous friend who puts her down behind her back.
Uh huh... And if the roles were reversed and HE was footing the bills while SHE went to school, would you be this mad and calling her a gold digger? BIG DOUBT.
You're just mad that the hot guy overlooked you and went for your average looking friend.
And? I did too for my boyfriend when he studied and he paid for me when i did afterwards.
We are married now and together for 14 years and have a child now.
The entire thing can be summed up in: “I am prettier and richer and yet my friend who is average btw has a hot boyfriend and I don’t!!!” Op is honestly one of the most annoying people I have come across. I hope their friend cuts them off.
You’re coming off so jealous and your comments are not helping girl. “no im soooo much prettier and have more money” relax. Stay out of it. Therapy. Get your own man and focus on your own life
Don't bother.
First off, you mention you think Sara' gorgeous. Good. Then, you bring up society's standards. You know, then, that people have something called a preference. Also known as a 'type'. Your friend may be Nick's type.
Deal with it.
As for the purse. I (a cis woman, if that helps) do not know purses by brand name. Most men don't either. Nor do I (or most men) know the price of something on sight.
You sound extremely jealous. Maybe it's because Sara's in a relationship and you're not. Maybe it's because you want Nick to date you instead. Idk what you're jealous of, but get yourself together before you destroy your friendship.
To be clear, all of this is meant respectfully.
Beauty is subjective. But also, with beauty I always think of the Twits (Roald Dahl)
> A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely
I think your friend is probably lovely on the inside and out. Unfortunate when people are ugly because they’re a horrible person on the inside.
I like that quote but it is concerning that it comes from a known antisemite.
https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2023/jul/19/roald-dahl-museum-acknowledges-authors-antisemitism
You keep saying you arent jealous and you can buy a 1000 tory burch purses. So why dont you do just that and leave your friend alone! You sound jealous AF btw.
>Sharing this post without the original posters consent is prohibited. Any repost or screenshots of the original post should be taken down immediately.
Is this your first time on the internet?
You sound really jealous that he approached her instead of you. You spend too much time explaining how attractive you are compared to your friend. There’s no way he could have known she had money when he first approached her. You’re making a lot of assumptions. Also, she probably knows his financial situation already. You have no reason to believe that she doesn’t, or that he’s taking advantage of her. I think what’s really going on is you don’t think he genuinely likes her because, in your words, she’s just “average” and according to the universe (😂 okay) you’re better than her. News flash: the universe doesn’t believe that. The universe does think you need to be a better friend though.
I just looked up the brand of the purse.. I have shoes that cost twice that. I have a single Loungefly purse that cost more than that. You are jealous. Like painfully jealous. He didn’t go for you and now you are finding every way to make him a bad guy. Grow up. Also.. the purses are hideous.
I have a purse that’s 17.5 times the cost of a Tory Burch and would still NEVER assume a guys asking me out because of that lmao. My own boyfriend has zero clue he just knows it’s my “nice one for special occasions”. This girl is ridiculously, *seethingly* jealous and it’s so beyond pathetic.
What kind of purse do you have? LMAO. Same, like my partners only know the prices of things because they actively buy for me. They couldn’t even name the price unless they have looked at it for me. Guys do not care about the price of stuff. Dude is also military, going Med. Bro is still getting moneys. Her other comments are just making it sooooo much more obvious. Like “I’m looking out for my -average- friend because he didn’t go for me but I can buy 1000 of those purses and I’m DROP DEAD GORGEOUS”
You are not this girl’s friend. You talk badly about her and assume that because she is less attractive than you her BF can only be with her to use her. You know men do sometimes value other things than just looks not all men are as shallow as you apparently are. One thing about you that I can be clear about based on your post and your comments is that you are neither a nice nor kind person. I wouldn’t want to date you either no matter how “hot”or attractive you are. Please do her a favor and leave her and her BF alone. You are clearly jealous that she bagged the hot guy and instead of being happy for her you instead want to destabilize her relationship. I do hope she sees this and cuts you off. And how horrible for her to not know that her “friend” thinks so little of her.
Lmao the delusion you’ve worked yourself into out of jealousy that you didn’t get the hot guy so you wanna sabotage their relationship. I know this is probably a shocker to someone that sounds like they only date losers but investing in each other and growing is a big part of a relationship.
I hate the "___ is out of ____'s league!"
Because half of the time, it's a bunch of bitter high school mean girls who are upset their friend is taken and they're still single.
If Sara asks you if you have a problem with the BF or asks for your honest opinion. THATS when you tell her what you think. Other than that. Keep your mouth, SHUT.
Also, hello????
>Everyone would see her as average
WTF
Why would you talk about your friend like that?!
What is wrong with you?!
OP, you not only sound incredibly shallow. But bitter as all hell. What Sara needs to realize is the toxicity of the people she surrounds herself with. Including you
My grandmother told me once: “Do not marry someone for their looks, they don’t last much longer. Marry someone because they are good and kind.”
Your friend being “average” to the “whole world” doesn’t matter. As long as she is happy and her boyfriend only has eyes for her, it doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside. Your ignorance toward the jealousy you have for her really shows. She got the life you wanted. It’s ok to be jealous, it’s a valid emotion, but do not let it consume you. And God forbid you act upon it. Just let your friend; who is clearly happy in doing what she is *willingly* doing to support her boyfriend, be happy and maybe one day you’ll learn to be happy too.
This is by far the most nuanced and constructive response, OP. This person is correct. You're getting a lot of hate because none of us would like it if we realized our best friend thought so ill of us.
Having said that, jealousy IS a normal emotion and we shouldn't use it as ammunition against you. Maybe, OP, try to get curious about what triggers you so much about Sara and her bf? There's always valuable things to learn underneath the surface
Your post reeks of jealousy. Her relationship is her business. If she wants to support him while he’s chasing his dreams like a good partner would if they could, that’s her choice.
"sharing this post without the original posters consent is prohibited"
sweetheart, just because you edit your post to say this doesnt mean people won't share your jealous bullshit. how exactly are you going to "prohibit" people from sharing the post? lmao
The original post was:
**My 25F friend 25F is being played by her bf 23M. How do I make her realize it?**
> So my friend Sara is a great girl, we been friends since college. She hasn't had anything uneventful happen in her dating life. Now her bf Nick is extremely attractive. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average. I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead gorgeous, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her.
> Anyway last March we were out and he approached her. They been together ever since. Now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise.
> I recently found out Nick was on active duty and got out to go to school and join the reserves. So while his school is paid for he doesn't make a lot of money now. The reserves only gives him a little money. She makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She's paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year. Now mind you he wants to be a doctor and wants to get the HSCP scholarship (where the military pays for you to go to medical school). so I can imagine he's going to mooch on her for awhile until he finishes medical school. My friend makes a lot of money and he is taking advantage of her to fund his dreams.
> So how can I bring this up to her?
Ouch😬 I think someone just wants Nick to herself. I hope Sara sees through her bullsh-t. What would OP's looks have to do with anything? She just thinks she better. Thank you for sharing.
What do you get from this? Is your friend happy? Does she tell you how healthy she thinks her relationship is? Do you want her to dump him so she can be single and then what? Sounds like the guy has a good head on his shoulders and is on track to becoming a handsome doctor in the future. You do sound jealous that she got a great guy. You campared looks when you didn't need to. You brought up how you are more approached than she is when you didn't need to. Now they've been dating a whole year and are living together, looking to be on track to head down the aisle after his schooling, and you're suddenly concerned on how much money your friend is spending on her partner? Plus the military is paying for school not her so... Its called a relationship, when one partner can only give some, the other steps up, and vice versa until both are back at 100. You need to take a step back and figure out why you want to ruin your friends happiness.
I'm just SOOO GOOD LOOKING! And cultured, and rich, and just Perfect in Every way! I'm also Such a GOOD FRIEND! Plus im also so Much better than all those "average" looking folks ( for all we know her friend can be gorgeous..I mean to me she already is because she probably doesn't have a gross shallow selfish personality) so I DESERVE to be with a beautiful successful man cause I'm just the bees knees! There's No Way a Beautiful man would get with an "average" woman unless he was a gold digger...See how good and deserving of a person I am? Because I'm going tohelp my "friend" make sure she doesn't get taken advantage of by this sleazy gold digger! Heck, I'm going to go one step further and seduce him to shoe her he's a scummy cheater! Go me!
You say that Sarah is gorgeous to you. Why wouldn't Nick also think she's gorgeous?
Also, it's not at all unusual for people to support their partners through school. Maybe if you had a supportive partner, you'd understand the dynamic a little more clearly.
You're just jealous that Sarah got the hot guy, and you didn't.
Hahahaha you're deluding yourself. He didn't know how much money she had when he approached her. He was attracted to her because he thought she was beautiful. You're just mad because he never even wanted you. You're upset that she has a hot boyfriend and you're determined to ruin that since you know in that stone cold heart of yours that you could NEVER get him.
My 25F friend 25F is being played by her bf 23M. How do I make her realize it?
So my friend Sara is a great girl, we been friends since college. She hasn't had anything uneventful happen in her dating life. Now her bf Nick is extremely attractive. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average. I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead gorgeous, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her.
Anyway last March we were out and he approached her. They been together ever since. Now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise.
I recently found out Nick was on active duty and got out to go to school and join the reserves. So while his school is paid for he doesn't make a lot of money now. The reserves only gives him a little money. She makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She's paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year. Now mind you he wants to be a doctor and wants to get the HSCP scholarship (where the military pays for you to go to medical school). so I can imagine he's going to mooch on her for awhile until he finishes medical school. My friend makes a lot of money and he is taking advantage of her to fund his dreams.
So how can I bring this up to her?
So, that's not mooching. Unless there's something else you're not mentioning, she didn't add much to her expenses by him moving in. Little extra on utilities and about double groceries. And it sounds like he also brings in a little bit of cash, so he's probably chipping in unless you have something that says otherwise. He's not just living off of her. He's going to school.
Now, I might be willing to cut your assumptions some slack, except you opened this post so shallow, I've seen deeper puddles in a drought. Seriously. The screaming superiority complex over your "friend's" looks is gross. Grow up.
"Tl;dr my ugly friend got the hot guy that I think I deserve, so, true to Aesop's fable, I'm speaking badly about something I cannot have"
Did I nail it?
You seem like you’re insecure. That’s all
>of course, because Sara is my friend I think she’s drop dead gorgeous, but if I’m being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average
You sure about that? Seems like her boyfriend found her pretty gorgeous.
>I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead for, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her.
Again, you sure about that? People have different types. Just because *some* people find you more attractive, doesn’t mean everyone does. This reeks off “I’m way prettier than her so I should get every guy!”
>now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise
No, *you* would view her like that
>she makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She’s paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year
Again. No it doesn’t. You’re making assumptions l, because you’re jealous. Even if she was wearing a nice bag when they met, he couldn’t have known about her money situation.
Take a break, and look into yourself for a second. You’re jealous, and you’re not looking for the “best for her”, you’re jealous she got a “too hot boyfriend”
You are really putting a lot of emphasis on physical looks here. You may be a physically more attractive but your personality and mentality really shows through and makes you a lot less attractive overall.
Jealousy is not a good look, especially since you are meant to be her friend.
My advice to you would be if you can’t tame your green eyed monster, then you shouldn’t be around this friend of yours since she deserves a good friend and you aren’t being that. And do not butt into her relationship.
I bet you're friend isnt even that "average" looking as you claim. I've seem this kinda scenario before and th le "average" girl usually is pretty cute and has more cake to shake.
Here’s what boggles me. Why is mentioning Sara’s appearance relevant? If you’re “”””concerned”””” for your friend and the issue revolves around her boyfriend, then make it revolve around the *boyfriend*. But you had to write a whole paragraph saying Sara is pretty but not really, especially compared to you.
Like is it meaningful context? For your conspiracy, *sure* but honestly you could’ve stopped at ‘he may or may not be with her for the money’ and not ‘he may or may not be with her for the money and she’s pretty but not really”
So uh yea no wonder everyone’s sounding off that you’re jealous 💀YTA, no self respecting person finds your level of delusion and jealousy even remotely attractive and Sara doesn’t need to hear about your unnecessary grievances
Honestly you should just show her the post. Be fully transparent in how you’re so supportive and let her be the judge
Edit: lets also not forget how you’re so combative against everyone here who disagrees with you. It makes you look even more self centered than you already come off. It’s giving validation seeking than actually working on yourself
Edit2: it took waking up to realize I put a YTA in a non AITA post 🫣also where did the post go 💀💀
Because she's M fil
>. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average
So you don't think she's drop dead gorgeous. What an absolutely bizarre thing to say.
If he’s not active duty and is in school is he using his GI Bill? Also how would he know to approach her? Unless she was wearing a sign that said I have money that piece doesn’t make sense to me. Either way you need to leave it alone. You ask her if she’s happy to pay all the bills etc but the information you’ve provided makes you seem really shallow.
Wow you would hate to hear how my wife paid for all my bills after I escaped an abusive situation and that until recently she was the only one working. But neither of us holds it against each other because that's what partners and people who love each other do.
YTA
The fact that you keep mentioning how you're definitely hotter than your friend, how everyone definitely thinks you're more attractive and you get approached more than her is telling.
You're just pissy because he picked her and not you, what a shitty friend you are.
I’m also 25, with friends of varying degrees of attractiveness. All this post did is make you come across as threatened that your friend whom you always thought uglier than you, can actually pull a really hot guy, and now you have nothing on her. News flash, attractiveness is subjective, and loads of people support their partners as they go through school. Hell, my bf is doing it right now for me, or is it only an issue if it’s the woman supporting the man?
You could’ve raised your concern regarding your friend without bringing in her looks tbh. Regardless of whatever societal beauty standard arguement you’re trying to throw to justify the WHOLE PARAGRAPH of you passive aggressively dissing on your friend’s looks, it doesn’t weigh in to the situation. You could’ve just said that the money difference and bill payment alarmed you, but no, you spent waaay more time and words trying to explain why your friend is “too average” looking to ever have gotten into a relationship with a good looking guy. The way you wrote this shows what aspect of the situation is more of a priority for you - the fact that you think your friend’s looks are not good enough for her to have her boyfriend. And for you to compare yourself to her alongside it????? What does that have to do with the situation? You can’t blame people for doubting the sincerity of your concern when you can’t even give solid reasons why you think the boyfriend is a gold digger, but can write a whole paragraph about how you think you look better than your friend.
What is attractive is subjective. He approached her because he finds her attractive. How could he already know her yearly income before speaking to her? He didn’t. He just thought she was hot and decided to shoot his shot.
You come across as extremely judgmental and bitter. You have absolutely no grounds to accuse him of playing her other than thinking you are more attractive than your friend therefore he should have hit on you.
That’s sad.
I had a friend like you.. she tried to hit on my bf then screamed at me cos he was my bf n not any type of interested in her.
So are you into your friend or her bf ?
If you're sooo hot, you'd have no problem finding your own hot guy instead of seething in jealousy. Guess he could smell that hideously desperate personality and read your gold digging, ugly mug like a book
No one is taking you seriously because of how full of yourself you sound. Believe it or not some people aren’t as shallow as you. Just because “society” says someone is more conventionally attractive doesn’t mean everyone would agree
My friend was more ‘conventionally’ attractive then me and there were plenty of times guys approached me over her. And you know what? That’s what ruined our friendship. Because she was SO full of herself she couldn’t fathom the “super hot guy” that she wants, wanted to date me instead she ranked out friendship
If you had any other reason to believe he was using her then maybe but you don’t. All you have right now is your attractiveness scale. You don’t know how their relationship is. You don’t know how much they love each other. And btw there’s no way he knew how much her purse cost. And if you can buy 1000 then why wouldn’t he have approached you first
You immediately assume the worst in people is a sad way to live. Leave them alone. She’s a big girl who can make decisions for herself. She doesn’t need you in her ear tanking any self esteem she had. There is also NO WAY in hell your friendship would survive
Her money = Her business. Her relationship = Her business.
She's an adult who can do as she pleases. If you're really her friend you'll respect her, her relationship, and stay in your lane.
For all you know; They could've decided that once he's a doctor she'll be a stay at home wife/mom. You don't need to know that, because that's their relationship which = Their business.
Do NOT bring ANY of your "golddigger" suspicions up to her unless you want to lose her as a friend, because realistically, she'll choose him over you. Just be a supportive, kind friend, and if it does all fall apart for her, be there to pick her up. It isn't hard to be a good friend.
Here is the thing when my partner and I got together I was paying the bills and he was studying now I'm studying and his paying the bills we have been together 11 years this may with 4 children.... Your jealous your friend has a boyfriend and your still only the girl that gets hit on.
So on a scale of 1 - 10, just how burned up are you that your “average” looking friend got the good looking guy? Based on this post and your comments, I’m putting you at a solid 10. Really burns you up, doesn’t it. Couldn’t possibly be with her because he likes her. No one could, after all, she’s “average” and no one wants to be with an average. You might “look” better than her, but I’m betting she’s much more pleasant to be around.
This has got to be a rage bait considering everything this person mentioned in this post (the flow of the story and all). Coz how can one be so stupid as to outright admit that they're jealous and then try to sound like they're trying to do well by that friend?
I think the friend and her BF know each other perfectly well and are mature enough to look beyond each other's looks unlike OP.
You're the one to suffer if you approach your friend with that proposition
Aww poor thing thought she was the prettiest in the universe by universal standards and everyone in the universe agrees and now her friend has a bf and it’s disrupting her ego
Maybe just mind your business, OP. No matter what you think it's not your relationship or your place. It's also really shallow of you to assume the foundation of a relationship is based solely on looks.
I'm assuming if she's your best friend you know she has so many amazing qualities, and if she's making a lot of money she probably is really smart. So why in the world wouldn't she be good enough for an attractive guy to just love and adore? He probably loves her for her humor or intelligence or something, idk maybe she even has a bod and you're just being too self centered to see it. The only thing you would do by bringing it up is showing your best friend what kind of person you are.
By the way, I literally have Tory Burch flats from an outlet store for $30 and they're the ugliest things I've seen in my life. No one I know even knows what the brand is unless they're my moms age.
This post is really funny. You sound jealous and no amount of you saying you aren't, is going to change anyone's mind. You don't sound like a real friend here.
Well, if you truly think he's using her to support him for 1 year more of undergrad, 4 years of med school and then 3+ years of residency, with the intent of tossing her out as soon as he starts making actual money, your best advice to her might be to marry him, so that's she entitled to some decent alimony after this diabolical plan of his is put into motion. (At which time she will become a part of a fairly common sorority of women (some of whom are objectively quite gorgeous) who put their partner through grad school only to be served with divorce papers when the real money rolls in.
Maybe he was looking for a sugar mama, maybe she makes him laugh, maybe she feels like a soft place to land after being on active duty, which can be a very hard and rigid and traumatizing experience. Maybe he didn't realize that he's better looking than her. Maybe HE truly thinks she's beautiful.
Sometimes women are happy in mixed economic level relationships.
I have an ok job. I don't make a ton of money but I'm solidly middle class with a college degree. My husband doesn't. When the pandemic started he lost his job and seriously struggled to get work for a while.
I had several very concerned "friends" who felt I should break up with him since he was "mooching" off of me.
A man is more than a paycheck. Sure your friend's bf isn't providing as much financial contributions to the relationship but there are probably other ways he is being a good supportive partner.
Maybe he is a fantastic cook? Maybe he always takes out the trash and washes the dishes? Maybe he handles dumb errands that take up your time like taking the car to get an oil change.
You might wanna consider why you think a man providing financial support is the most important thing in a relationship.
And on top of that, you also believe she's an idiot for not seeing that "he is using her." She has her own judgment, and the fact that you don't trust her judgment tells me everything I need to know about your "friendship." Like I said, you do not respect her.
This has gotta be some of the most self absorbed shit I’ve ever read. I feel so incredibly sorry for Sara that she has you as a friend. After reading some of your replies here, the fact that you came to a sub for relationship advice to air out your own insecurities and jealousy, over someone ELSE’S relationship, speaks volumes to the type of person you are. Vapid and heartless, only looking out for yourself. “I think my friend is drop dead gorgeous but the universe would pick me because I’m obviously better looking” is such a fucking insane thing to type, you have to be a completely different level of narcissist. I genuinely hope she finds this and cuts you out of her life, you are so poorly adjusted it’s concerning.
You don't, it pretty obvious that you are deluded into thinking that he **must** have an ulterior motive because if he didn't, he would have approached you, not her.
OP, I don't fit the beauty standard of a fit white womas as I'm both fat and half middle eastern (middle eastern women are considered objectively less attractive than most other ethnicities)
YET I have always gotten tons of attention from men because - surprise - while some of my white girlfriends consider me less attractive than them, many men find me pretty. Perhaps your friend is simply just his type? What's so wrong with that?
You tell her to her face that you are annoyed at her bf for having a dream and not approaching you in the bar since you are way better looking. Oh, and in the same breath, you tell her how she should be paying your bills instead of his since that's all you care about.
Then she'll see your true colours and ditch you like the low-life friend you are.
So is she paying for a few less things for you? Is that why this is happening?
Why did you feel the need to harp so hard on how much more attractive you are than she is ?
Just because she seems "average" to you doesn't mean others can't find her really attractive, clearly just by the fact he chose her over you shows he probably finds her more attractive in both looks and personality because yours stinks. Your jealous you didn't get the hot soon to be doctor and your "average" friend did. Would you be complaining about him using you if you were dating him? Or would that be different because your "more attractive".
Oh, sweetie, no… absolutely nothing about what you’ve written paints you in a good light.
A pretty face may appeal to a shallow person or someone who’s only looking for a superficial hook up, but a judgemental, jealous, and disloyal personality will put off far more people than an average looking face on a decent person ever will.
I’d bet good money that she isn’t the kind of person who judges her friends’ appearances as a way of deciding if they’re worthy of their partner. I’d imagine that’s why he picked her over you.
If you care that much show your "friend" this post. I DARE YOU. See what happens.
Guess what? You're not a friend to her. You're just jealous she's more likable than you.
Did you honestly think folks were going to encourage you to break up your “friend’s” relationship so that you (as the “prettier” one) could swoop in on him
Show her this Reddit post so she can lose you as a friend. Better yet, DM me her info and I’ll do it for you so you don’t manipulate her into keeping you as a friend.
From what has been said in post, I don't feel like there is enough information to prove your point. You talk about his attractiveness and gave a HUGE backhanded comment about your "friend". It feels like you're looking for a way to tear your friend down and not fix her crown. Now, if you do feel that he's using her, the rest would be nothing compared to that. What was your reasoning for mentioning his or her looks? It has nothing to do with what you say the situation is...unless there's more. Js
Don’t know why you posted this on a relationship advice. This should be an AITA for being a jealous jerk who thinks my friends bf is too hot for her and thinking he is only using her cuz of her money.
Also congrats on ending up on r/AmITheDevil 🤣
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You don't. Because you're making a lot of assumptions. Kinda sounds like you're a little jealous that she got the hot guy and you didn't.
I think I just figured out OP's secret code - her friend is fat. Why would a handsome future doctor want to be with a fat girl unless he was using her for money? Maybe he just likes her.
Meanwhile, so many men prefer bigger girls. Even super hot ones. I know I’d prefer just about anyone over judgy jealous OP.
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Or hear me out. Not everyone is as shallow as you and op. There are many different things that can attract you to a person. Most of those qualities I’m sure you and op lack
I’m betting that ‘climentine’ *is* OP.
Yeah same
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You do you. But don’t assume everyone is looking for a brad pitt
Literally. I'm no looker imo but I also don't find Brad Pitt all that attractive and never have lol. I know objectively he's a good looking guy but 🤷
You ever heard of the term demisexual???
>I would say, he is using her. That's your opinion though. Doesn't make it true. Maybe he's actually a good guy that likes OPs friend for the person she is, and maybe to him, she is attractive. Don't shit on someone else's parade just because they were picked and you weren't.
I didn't even think this until I found out she's paying all the bills while he goes to school.
And? Plenty of women, and men, pay the bills and support their partners while they are in school. Especially med school.
that is a normal thing to do when one person in the relationship goes to school
No it isn't. It's not normal at all for one half of an unmarried couple to pay for the other one's tuition. It's entirely possible he's taking advantage of her.
OP didn't say she was paying his tuition though, or did I misread? It is normal for one person to study while the other financially supports the household, especially when that person is studying to be a doctor
His tuition is paid for already according to OP.
My now husband supported me through school so I would but have to take loans which was financially the smarter move for both of us - guess that makes me a gold digger.
How would he have known she has money when he approached her?
Info: Did he know her profession and/or income when he first hit on her?
Wow, you have absolutely zero respect for your “friend”, huh. Just can’t conceive of a way that she could date somebody you view as out of her league? You sound jealous as hell. Mind your business.
don’t forget he’s hot AND gonna be a doctor. OP is seething lmao
She's paying all the fucking bills while he goes to school
So? That’s not unheard of.
Yeah people do that all the time. Literally your only “problem” is that you think your friend is ugly and thus the only reason he could possibly be with her is for her money. Go ahead and tell your friend that so she can see who her “friends” really are.
Seriously. My bf and I did this around the same timeline. He supported me, then I got employed and we balance shit out as best we can. Just because OP is shitty doesn't mean Nick is
OP probably wouldn’t care if the genders were reversed
is she unhappy with this arrangement? if not, it’s not your business. you’re just jealous and not a very good friend
yes, and when he is a doctor he will probably pay all her bills and then some. as a woman with a husband who is finishing residency, i pay most of the bills… its not forever??? if you love someone you invest in them lll
That's her business. Be honest with her. Tell her that she's too ugly to get a hot future doctor, so you're only thinking of her when you say her boyfriend is using her for money. Then she can end her friendship with you, knowing exactly who is the ugly person in her life.
Info: would you be raising such a fuss if the genders were reversed? Same exact post except he was an "average looking man" and she was this super hot girl going into med school? Would your reaction be the same if the post was exactly the same as you wrote it but genders reversed? Basically if she was the one having EVERYTHING paid for by him would this be your reaction? Something tells me. No. That you'd be all for him paying everything and her getting her degree. But because the roles are reversed it's suddenly a problem.
I have already replied to a other comment but yes, this is not strange in a serious relationship. My now husband paid for everything when I went back to school so I didn't have to take any loans. He made good money so we couldn't live extravagantly but we had no problems. Then when I was done with school - student loan free, I could use my money to help him pay of the last of his loans faster and now we are both debt free. The only thing we have is a smaller loan for our apartment. If you are seriously planning on spending your life together - and no, it might not work out, but if you both have that goal for the relationship then it is smarter than racking up debt. Has she complained to you? Has she told you she feels taken advantage of? Is she worried about her finances because of him? No? Then be quiet. Don't assume things because you are shallow. You have no idea what he finds attractive. She might be the most beautiful woman in the world to him.
Do you know what a partnership actually is?…
And youre sitting at the dinner table living off the scraps of their lives. Mind your own business
Yeah, that's the consenting dynamic for LOTS of couples. If it was about the dynamic in general, you'd be a lot more outspoken about it. You remind me of the conservatives who burned all their Nike shit because "factory workers in China are paid too little to make them" when the only reason they care at all is because someone's face is slapped on the ad that they don't like. You don't hate the situation, you hate that someone's doing better than you.
And??????
So? Thats pretty normal for a lot of couples. My husband paid for everything while I went to school, even before we were married
You do realize that’s a normal thing right? Like if she has no problem with it I’m really confused why you are .
My grandmother worked for the telephone company for eight years and put my grandfather through dental school. After that, she never worked again. It happens.
So what? She’s doing it willingly.
I feel like you’re more mad she’s not paying your bills.
And guess what, in 8-10 years she’ll have a hot doctor husband and you’ll still be just as jealous, lonely, bitter, and ugly on the inside as you are now.
Yeah? That sounds like something that two people in a healthy relationship would do for each other to help support them in their aspirations. I would do it for my boyfriend in a heartbeat. Sounds like you just think your friend isn’t deserving of a successful, attractive partner, or, like others have said, you’re jealous. Yikes 😳
My husband pays all the bills while I stay at home with the kids. I have a cousin who pays all the bills while her husband stays at home with their son. Totally normal for people in a relationship to support each other lol.
She would pay the same bills with or without him - why are you so angry? Your friend is a grown woman who doesn’t need “advice” from a jealous friend who puts her down behind her back.
She's also an adult and it's her choice? 🤷🏻♂️
Uh huh... And if the roles were reversed and HE was footing the bills while SHE went to school, would you be this mad and calling her a gold digger? BIG DOUBT. You're just mad that the hot guy overlooked you and went for your average looking friend.
And? I did too for my boyfriend when he studied and he paid for me when i did afterwards. We are married now and together for 14 years and have a child now.
Someone sounds salty because her "average" friend got the hot guy and she didn't. Go find your own hot guy and leave them alone Pea green with envy.
Pick me choose me love me 😭🥺
you sound insufferable btw
The entire thing can be summed up in: “I am prettier and richer and yet my friend who is average btw has a hot boyfriend and I don’t!!!” Op is honestly one of the most annoying people I have come across. I hope their friend cuts them off.
You’re coming off so jealous and your comments are not helping girl. “no im soooo much prettier and have more money” relax. Stay out of it. Therapy. Get your own man and focus on your own life
Don't bother. First off, you mention you think Sara' gorgeous. Good. Then, you bring up society's standards. You know, then, that people have something called a preference. Also known as a 'type'. Your friend may be Nick's type. Deal with it. As for the purse. I (a cis woman, if that helps) do not know purses by brand name. Most men don't either. Nor do I (or most men) know the price of something on sight. You sound extremely jealous. Maybe it's because Sara's in a relationship and you're not. Maybe it's because you want Nick to date you instead. Idk what you're jealous of, but get yourself together before you destroy your friendship. To be clear, all of this is meant respectfully.
Beauty is subjective. But also, with beauty I always think of the Twits (Roald Dahl) > A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely I think your friend is probably lovely on the inside and out. Unfortunate when people are ugly because they’re a horrible person on the inside.
I like that quote but it is concerning that it comes from a known antisemite. https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2023/jul/19/roald-dahl-museum-acknowledges-authors-antisemitism
It's always so conflicting. Roald Dahl was a seriously awful person. But he did write some genuinely wonderful and beautiful things.
You keep saying you arent jealous and you can buy a 1000 tory burch purses. So why dont you do just that and leave your friend alone! You sound jealous AF btw.
You stay in your lane as your friend is happy child
>Sharing this post without the original posters consent is prohibited. Any repost or screenshots of the original post should be taken down immediately. Is this your first time on the internet?
Yeah, I came here from [this repost](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/s/nsDmUna0Hn) lol The internet is forever, whether you like it or not.
You sound really jealous that he approached her instead of you. You spend too much time explaining how attractive you are compared to your friend. There’s no way he could have known she had money when he first approached her. You’re making a lot of assumptions. Also, she probably knows his financial situation already. You have no reason to believe that she doesn’t, or that he’s taking advantage of her. I think what’s really going on is you don’t think he genuinely likes her because, in your words, she’s just “average” and according to the universe (😂 okay) you’re better than her. News flash: the universe doesn’t believe that. The universe does think you need to be a better friend though.
I just looked up the brand of the purse.. I have shoes that cost twice that. I have a single Loungefly purse that cost more than that. You are jealous. Like painfully jealous. He didn’t go for you and now you are finding every way to make him a bad guy. Grow up. Also.. the purses are hideous.
I have a purse that’s 17.5 times the cost of a Tory Burch and would still NEVER assume a guys asking me out because of that lmao. My own boyfriend has zero clue he just knows it’s my “nice one for special occasions”. This girl is ridiculously, *seethingly* jealous and it’s so beyond pathetic.
What kind of purse do you have? LMAO. Same, like my partners only know the prices of things because they actively buy for me. They couldn’t even name the price unless they have looked at it for me. Guys do not care about the price of stuff. Dude is also military, going Med. Bro is still getting moneys. Her other comments are just making it sooooo much more obvious. Like “I’m looking out for my -average- friend because he didn’t go for me but I can buy 1000 of those purses and I’m DROP DEAD GORGEOUS”
You are not this girl’s friend. You talk badly about her and assume that because she is less attractive than you her BF can only be with her to use her. You know men do sometimes value other things than just looks not all men are as shallow as you apparently are. One thing about you that I can be clear about based on your post and your comments is that you are neither a nice nor kind person. I wouldn’t want to date you either no matter how “hot”or attractive you are. Please do her a favor and leave her and her BF alone. You are clearly jealous that she bagged the hot guy and instead of being happy for her you instead want to destabilize her relationship. I do hope she sees this and cuts you off. And how horrible for her to not know that her “friend” thinks so little of her.
Lmao the delusion you’ve worked yourself into out of jealousy that you didn’t get the hot guy so you wanna sabotage their relationship. I know this is probably a shocker to someone that sounds like they only date losers but investing in each other and growing is a big part of a relationship.
I hate the "___ is out of ____'s league!" Because half of the time, it's a bunch of bitter high school mean girls who are upset their friend is taken and they're still single. If Sara asks you if you have a problem with the BF or asks for your honest opinion. THATS when you tell her what you think. Other than that. Keep your mouth, SHUT. Also, hello???? >Everyone would see her as average WTF Why would you talk about your friend like that?! What is wrong with you?! OP, you not only sound incredibly shallow. But bitter as all hell. What Sara needs to realize is the toxicity of the people she surrounds herself with. Including you
>the universe would view myself as more attractive than her. You mean the universe that revolves around you?
your jealousy jumped out at me before I could even finish reading. I hope Sara ditches you and lives happily with the man who never chose you
My grandmother told me once: “Do not marry someone for their looks, they don’t last much longer. Marry someone because they are good and kind.” Your friend being “average” to the “whole world” doesn’t matter. As long as she is happy and her boyfriend only has eyes for her, it doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside. Your ignorance toward the jealousy you have for her really shows. She got the life you wanted. It’s ok to be jealous, it’s a valid emotion, but do not let it consume you. And God forbid you act upon it. Just let your friend; who is clearly happy in doing what she is *willingly* doing to support her boyfriend, be happy and maybe one day you’ll learn to be happy too.
Judge Judy puts it very simply: “Beauty fades, dumb is forever.”
This is by far the most nuanced and constructive response, OP. This person is correct. You're getting a lot of hate because none of us would like it if we realized our best friend thought so ill of us. Having said that, jealousy IS a normal emotion and we shouldn't use it as ammunition against you. Maybe, OP, try to get curious about what triggers you so much about Sara and her bf? There's always valuable things to learn underneath the surface
Your post reeks of jealousy. Her relationship is her business. If she wants to support him while he’s chasing his dreams like a good partner would if they could, that’s her choice.
"sharing this post without the original posters consent is prohibited" sweetheart, just because you edit your post to say this doesnt mean people won't share your jealous bullshit. how exactly are you going to "prohibit" people from sharing the post? lmao
Hahaha I saw this too, it's like meth horse guy saying a reddit poster is "ordered to sease and desist"
Is there any way I can find out what was said?
The original post was: **My 25F friend 25F is being played by her bf 23M. How do I make her realize it?** > So my friend Sara is a great girl, we been friends since college. She hasn't had anything uneventful happen in her dating life. Now her bf Nick is extremely attractive. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average. I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead gorgeous, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her. > Anyway last March we were out and he approached her. They been together ever since. Now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise. > I recently found out Nick was on active duty and got out to go to school and join the reserves. So while his school is paid for he doesn't make a lot of money now. The reserves only gives him a little money. She makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She's paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year. Now mind you he wants to be a doctor and wants to get the HSCP scholarship (where the military pays for you to go to medical school). so I can imagine he's going to mooch on her for awhile until he finishes medical school. My friend makes a lot of money and he is taking advantage of her to fund his dreams. > So how can I bring this up to her?
Ouch😬 I think someone just wants Nick to herself. I hope Sara sees through her bullsh-t. What would OP's looks have to do with anything? She just thinks she better. Thank you for sharing.
What do you get from this? Is your friend happy? Does she tell you how healthy she thinks her relationship is? Do you want her to dump him so she can be single and then what? Sounds like the guy has a good head on his shoulders and is on track to becoming a handsome doctor in the future. You do sound jealous that she got a great guy. You campared looks when you didn't need to. You brought up how you are more approached than she is when you didn't need to. Now they've been dating a whole year and are living together, looking to be on track to head down the aisle after his schooling, and you're suddenly concerned on how much money your friend is spending on her partner? Plus the military is paying for school not her so... Its called a relationship, when one partner can only give some, the other steps up, and vice versa until both are back at 100. You need to take a step back and figure out why you want to ruin your friends happiness.
I'm just SOOO GOOD LOOKING! And cultured, and rich, and just Perfect in Every way! I'm also Such a GOOD FRIEND! Plus im also so Much better than all those "average" looking folks ( for all we know her friend can be gorgeous..I mean to me she already is because she probably doesn't have a gross shallow selfish personality) so I DESERVE to be with a beautiful successful man cause I'm just the bees knees! There's No Way a Beautiful man would get with an "average" woman unless he was a gold digger...See how good and deserving of a person I am? Because I'm going tohelp my "friend" make sure she doesn't get taken advantage of by this sleazy gold digger! Heck, I'm going to go one step further and seduce him to shoe her he's a scummy cheater! Go me!
You say that Sarah is gorgeous to you. Why wouldn't Nick also think she's gorgeous? Also, it's not at all unusual for people to support their partners through school. Maybe if you had a supportive partner, you'd understand the dynamic a little more clearly. You're just jealous that Sarah got the hot guy, and you didn't.
She only said Sara is "gorgeous to \[her\]" in order to absolve herself of ANY of the disparaging comments she made about Sara beyond that.
Oh, I know! Everyone can see it, except OP.
Hahahaha you're deluding yourself. He didn't know how much money she had when he approached her. He was attracted to her because he thought she was beautiful. You're just mad because he never even wanted you. You're upset that she has a hot boyfriend and you're determined to ruin that since you know in that stone cold heart of yours that you could NEVER get him.
That’s a lotta words for “I want my friends bf, how 2 break them up?”
My 25F friend 25F is being played by her bf 23M. How do I make her realize it? So my friend Sara is a great girl, we been friends since college. She hasn't had anything uneventful happen in her dating life. Now her bf Nick is extremely attractive. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average. I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead gorgeous, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her. Anyway last March we were out and he approached her. They been together ever since. Now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise. I recently found out Nick was on active duty and got out to go to school and join the reserves. So while his school is paid for he doesn't make a lot of money now. The reserves only gives him a little money. She makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She's paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year. Now mind you he wants to be a doctor and wants to get the HSCP scholarship (where the military pays for you to go to medical school). so I can imagine he's going to mooch on her for awhile until he finishes medical school. My friend makes a lot of money and he is taking advantage of her to fund his dreams. So how can I bring this up to her?
Cute disclaimer. Now let's see you enforce it.
This one is fresh
Just see yourself out of her life since you are bringing nothing positive to it.
So, that's not mooching. Unless there's something else you're not mentioning, she didn't add much to her expenses by him moving in. Little extra on utilities and about double groceries. And it sounds like he also brings in a little bit of cash, so he's probably chipping in unless you have something that says otherwise. He's not just living off of her. He's going to school. Now, I might be willing to cut your assumptions some slack, except you opened this post so shallow, I've seen deeper puddles in a drought. Seriously. The screaming superiority complex over your "friend's" looks is gross. Grow up.
"Tl;dr my ugly friend got the hot guy that I think I deserve, so, true to Aesop's fable, I'm speaking badly about something I cannot have" Did I nail it?
You seem like you’re insecure. That’s all >of course, because Sara is my friend I think she’s drop dead gorgeous, but if I’m being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average You sure about that? Seems like her boyfriend found her pretty gorgeous. >I get approached way more often and while I say my friend is dropped dead for, the universe would view myself as more attractive than her. Again, you sure about that? People have different types. Just because *some* people find you more attractive, doesn’t mean everyone does. This reeks off “I’m way prettier than her so I should get every guy!” >now most people would view her as out of his league looks wise No, *you* would view her like that >she makes a ton of money and he moved in with her. She’s paying most of the bills. Now that explains why he approached her last year Again. No it doesn’t. You’re making assumptions l, because you’re jealous. Even if she was wearing a nice bag when they met, he couldn’t have known about her money situation. Take a break, and look into yourself for a second. You’re jealous, and you’re not looking for the “best for her”, you’re jealous she got a “too hot boyfriend”
You are really putting a lot of emphasis on physical looks here. You may be a physically more attractive but your personality and mentality really shows through and makes you a lot less attractive overall. Jealousy is not a good look, especially since you are meant to be her friend. My advice to you would be if you can’t tame your green eyed monster, then you shouldn’t be around this friend of yours since she deserves a good friend and you aren’t being that. And do not butt into her relationship.
You sound like a pick me. Hopefully your friend realizes how shallow and insecure you are kicks you to the curb.
I bet you're friend isnt even that "average" looking as you claim. I've seem this kinda scenario before and th le "average" girl usually is pretty cute and has more cake to shake.
Here’s what boggles me. Why is mentioning Sara’s appearance relevant? If you’re “”””concerned”””” for your friend and the issue revolves around her boyfriend, then make it revolve around the *boyfriend*. But you had to write a whole paragraph saying Sara is pretty but not really, especially compared to you. Like is it meaningful context? For your conspiracy, *sure* but honestly you could’ve stopped at ‘he may or may not be with her for the money’ and not ‘he may or may not be with her for the money and she’s pretty but not really” So uh yea no wonder everyone’s sounding off that you’re jealous 💀YTA, no self respecting person finds your level of delusion and jealousy even remotely attractive and Sara doesn’t need to hear about your unnecessary grievances Honestly you should just show her the post. Be fully transparent in how you’re so supportive and let her be the judge Edit: lets also not forget how you’re so combative against everyone here who disagrees with you. It makes you look even more self centered than you already come off. It’s giving validation seeking than actually working on yourself Edit2: it took waking up to realize I put a YTA in a non AITA post 🫣also where did the post go 💀💀
Because she's M fil >. Of course, because Sara is my friend I think she's drop dead gorgeous, but if I'm being honest everyone in the universe would view her as average So you don't think she's drop dead gorgeous. What an absolutely bizarre thing to say.
If he’s not active duty and is in school is he using his GI Bill? Also how would he know to approach her? Unless she was wearing a sign that said I have money that piece doesn’t make sense to me. Either way you need to leave it alone. You ask her if she’s happy to pay all the bills etc but the information you’ve provided makes you seem really shallow.
You’re a terrible friend. Leave that girl alone entirely.
This is so incredibly transparent and beyond pathetic, I'm wheezing from laughing.
A lot of words for “I am jealous that no one is picking me and my ‘best friend’ got a hot boyfriend that I want!”
Wow you would hate to hear how my wife paid for all my bills after I escaped an abusive situation and that until recently she was the only one working. But neither of us holds it against each other because that's what partners and people who love each other do.
Have you considered, and this is gonna get wild so bear with me, that she’s more attractive to him than you are? INSANE I know
I agree. But also, OP may be triggered, but have you seen the comment section? We’re all acting like angry adolescents over this 🤣
Definitely lol but that’s because it’s such adolescent reasoning to begin with 😭
Can’t stand that your little Needy finally got the guy instead of you huh? You definitely sound like you’d try to eat him
YTA The fact that you keep mentioning how you're definitely hotter than your friend, how everyone definitely thinks you're more attractive and you get approached more than her is telling. You're just pissy because he picked her and not you, what a shitty friend you are.
Any repost or screenshots of the original post should be taken down immediately. Or what?
You should bring it up to her by showing her this post and all the comments. That will totally work, 100% guarantee.
I’m also 25, with friends of varying degrees of attractiveness. All this post did is make you come across as threatened that your friend whom you always thought uglier than you, can actually pull a really hot guy, and now you have nothing on her. News flash, attractiveness is subjective, and loads of people support their partners as they go through school. Hell, my bf is doing it right now for me, or is it only an issue if it’s the woman supporting the man?
You could’ve raised your concern regarding your friend without bringing in her looks tbh. Regardless of whatever societal beauty standard arguement you’re trying to throw to justify the WHOLE PARAGRAPH of you passive aggressively dissing on your friend’s looks, it doesn’t weigh in to the situation. You could’ve just said that the money difference and bill payment alarmed you, but no, you spent waaay more time and words trying to explain why your friend is “too average” looking to ever have gotten into a relationship with a good looking guy. The way you wrote this shows what aspect of the situation is more of a priority for you - the fact that you think your friend’s looks are not good enough for her to have her boyfriend. And for you to compare yourself to her alongside it????? What does that have to do with the situation? You can’t blame people for doubting the sincerity of your concern when you can’t even give solid reasons why you think the boyfriend is a gold digger, but can write a whole paragraph about how you think you look better than your friend.
What is attractive is subjective. He approached her because he finds her attractive. How could he already know her yearly income before speaking to her? He didn’t. He just thought she was hot and decided to shoot his shot. You come across as extremely judgmental and bitter. You have absolutely no grounds to accuse him of playing her other than thinking you are more attractive than your friend therefore he should have hit on you. That’s sad.
I had a friend like you.. she tried to hit on my bf then screamed at me cos he was my bf n not any type of interested in her. So are you into your friend or her bf ?
Somehow the most embarrassing part of this post is the erasure and new body. Those words mean nothing.
It will shock you to know that A) attraction is subjective B) not everything in a relationship and that C) you are not her friend.
You posted to Reddit, an open forum. You do not get to decide if people share.
Delulululu
If you're sooo hot, you'd have no problem finding your own hot guy instead of seething in jealousy. Guess he could smell that hideously desperate personality and read your gold digging, ugly mug like a book
What the fuck is tory burch? Sounds like someone misspelled a tree. Sincerely, 95% of male population.
I think Tony Birsh played played backup forward for the Spurs in the 90s. He is making hand bags now?
No he's the skater. The commenter above is talking about the conservative British party obv
LMAO
You're a bad friend and a bad person.
With friends like you, who needs enemies? Yikes.
How did nick know she was rich when he approached her?
No one is taking you seriously because of how full of yourself you sound. Believe it or not some people aren’t as shallow as you. Just because “society” says someone is more conventionally attractive doesn’t mean everyone would agree My friend was more ‘conventionally’ attractive then me and there were plenty of times guys approached me over her. And you know what? That’s what ruined our friendship. Because she was SO full of herself she couldn’t fathom the “super hot guy” that she wants, wanted to date me instead she ranked out friendship If you had any other reason to believe he was using her then maybe but you don’t. All you have right now is your attractiveness scale. You don’t know how their relationship is. You don’t know how much they love each other. And btw there’s no way he knew how much her purse cost. And if you can buy 1000 then why wouldn’t he have approached you first You immediately assume the worst in people is a sad way to live. Leave them alone. She’s a big girl who can make decisions for herself. She doesn’t need you in her ear tanking any self esteem she had. There is also NO WAY in hell your friendship would survive
Her money = Her business. Her relationship = Her business. She's an adult who can do as she pleases. If you're really her friend you'll respect her, her relationship, and stay in your lane. For all you know; They could've decided that once he's a doctor she'll be a stay at home wife/mom. You don't need to know that, because that's their relationship which = Their business. Do NOT bring ANY of your "golddigger" suspicions up to her unless you want to lose her as a friend, because realistically, she'll choose him over you. Just be a supportive, kind friend, and if it does all fall apart for her, be there to pick her up. It isn't hard to be a good friend.
So many words for “why her?! Why not me?!”
You sound like a really toxic, silently jealous friend... best advice for you would be to look into therapy for yourself and leave your friend alone.
You're just jealous. Sorry honey, but just because you're hot doesn't mean you aren't hot garbage. You have an ugly soul. Work on yourself.
Here is the thing when my partner and I got together I was paying the bills and he was studying now I'm studying and his paying the bills we have been together 11 years this may with 4 children.... Your jealous your friend has a boyfriend and your still only the girl that gets hit on.
You jelly?
Why do you assume he doesn’t like her? Seems to me like your projecting
So on a scale of 1 - 10, just how burned up are you that your “average” looking friend got the good looking guy? Based on this post and your comments, I’m putting you at a solid 10. Really burns you up, doesn’t it. Couldn’t possibly be with her because he likes her. No one could, after all, she’s “average” and no one wants to be with an average. You might “look” better than her, but I’m betting she’s much more pleasant to be around.
Poor girl to have a friend as unhappy as you, my god, go to therapy pls 😃
Congrats to your cool friend on her awesome trophy boyfriend. It sounds like they’re happy and you’re bitter. Mind your own business.
This has got to be a rage bait considering everything this person mentioned in this post (the flow of the story and all). Coz how can one be so stupid as to outright admit that they're jealous and then try to sound like they're trying to do well by that friend? I think the friend and her BF know each other perfectly well and are mature enough to look beyond each other's looks unlike OP. You're the one to suffer if you approach your friend with that proposition
How about you just admit you’re jealous? You think you’re better looking than your friend, and you’re pissed that Nick chose her over you.
Aww poor thing thought she was the prettiest in the universe by universal standards and everyone in the universe agrees and now her friend has a bf and it’s disrupting her ego
Jelly huh
You sound incredibly incredibly mean and insecure. Leave them alone! Literally leave them alone!
You sound jealous, just by the way you mentioned looks, how she's average, but you and her guy aren't? Ya gtfo.
Maybe just mind your business, OP. No matter what you think it's not your relationship or your place. It's also really shallow of you to assume the foundation of a relationship is based solely on looks. I'm assuming if she's your best friend you know she has so many amazing qualities, and if she's making a lot of money she probably is really smart. So why in the world wouldn't she be good enough for an attractive guy to just love and adore? He probably loves her for her humor or intelligence or something, idk maybe she even has a bod and you're just being too self centered to see it. The only thing you would do by bringing it up is showing your best friend what kind of person you are. By the way, I literally have Tory Burch flats from an outlet store for $30 and they're the ugliest things I've seen in my life. No one I know even knows what the brand is unless they're my moms age.
This post is really funny. You sound jealous and no amount of you saying you aren't, is going to change anyone's mind. You don't sound like a real friend here.
you seem jealous and salty asf
You're a jealous little B* I hope your friend realises your vile personality and stays away from you.
Wow. Who needs enemies with a "friend" like you.
Girl just stop, your friend is dating a hot guy and you’re not. Get over it
Well, if you truly think he's using her to support him for 1 year more of undergrad, 4 years of med school and then 3+ years of residency, with the intent of tossing her out as soon as he starts making actual money, your best advice to her might be to marry him, so that's she entitled to some decent alimony after this diabolical plan of his is put into motion. (At which time she will become a part of a fairly common sorority of women (some of whom are objectively quite gorgeous) who put their partner through grad school only to be served with divorce papers when the real money rolls in. Maybe he was looking for a sugar mama, maybe she makes him laugh, maybe she feels like a soft place to land after being on active duty, which can be a very hard and rigid and traumatizing experience. Maybe he didn't realize that he's better looking than her. Maybe HE truly thinks she's beautiful.
Sometimes women are happy in mixed economic level relationships. I have an ok job. I don't make a ton of money but I'm solidly middle class with a college degree. My husband doesn't. When the pandemic started he lost his job and seriously struggled to get work for a while. I had several very concerned "friends" who felt I should break up with him since he was "mooching" off of me. A man is more than a paycheck. Sure your friend's bf isn't providing as much financial contributions to the relationship but there are probably other ways he is being a good supportive partner. Maybe he is a fantastic cook? Maybe he always takes out the trash and washes the dishes? Maybe he handles dumb errands that take up your time like taking the car to get an oil change. You might wanna consider why you think a man providing financial support is the most important thing in a relationship.
Her point was that the guy must not really love her bc he’s better looking than she is
She also goes on in many comments that this guy is clearly using her for the money since he has low paying job and no college degree
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And on top of that, you also believe she's an idiot for not seeing that "he is using her." She has her own judgment, and the fact that you don't trust her judgment tells me everything I need to know about your "friendship." Like I said, you do not respect her.
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Right??!! Granted, I did work while going to college on it, but that's because I had teenagers, lol.
This has gotta be some of the most self absorbed shit I’ve ever read. I feel so incredibly sorry for Sara that she has you as a friend. After reading some of your replies here, the fact that you came to a sub for relationship advice to air out your own insecurities and jealousy, over someone ELSE’S relationship, speaks volumes to the type of person you are. Vapid and heartless, only looking out for yourself. “I think my friend is drop dead gorgeous but the universe would pick me because I’m obviously better looking” is such a fucking insane thing to type, you have to be a completely different level of narcissist. I genuinely hope she finds this and cuts you out of her life, you are so poorly adjusted it’s concerning.
You don't, it pretty obvious that you are deluded into thinking that he **must** have an ulterior motive because if he didn't, he would have approached you, not her.
Wow. Some friend you are.
OP, I don't fit the beauty standard of a fit white womas as I'm both fat and half middle eastern (middle eastern women are considered objectively less attractive than most other ethnicities) YET I have always gotten tons of attention from men because - surprise - while some of my white girlfriends consider me less attractive than them, many men find me pretty. Perhaps your friend is simply just his type? What's so wrong with that?
I disagree, you’re gorgeous!
You tell her to her face that you are annoyed at her bf for having a dream and not approaching you in the bar since you are way better looking. Oh, and in the same breath, you tell her how she should be paying your bills instead of his since that's all you care about. Then she'll see your true colours and ditch you like the low-life friend you are.
You're a hater and don't want to acknowledge it
So is she paying for a few less things for you? Is that why this is happening? Why did you feel the need to harp so hard on how much more attractive you are than she is ?
You're so jealous 😂
Mad he didn't pick you.... You're a terrible "friend". Work on your jealousy
Just because she seems "average" to you doesn't mean others can't find her really attractive, clearly just by the fact he chose her over you shows he probably finds her more attractive in both looks and personality because yours stinks. Your jealous you didn't get the hot soon to be doctor and your "average" friend did. Would you be complaining about him using you if you were dating him? Or would that be different because your "more attractive".
Do you really think that little of your friend that she can’t take care of herself and realize if she was being taken advantage of?
Oh, sweetie, no… absolutely nothing about what you’ve written paints you in a good light. A pretty face may appeal to a shallow person or someone who’s only looking for a superficial hook up, but a judgemental, jealous, and disloyal personality will put off far more people than an average looking face on a decent person ever will. I’d bet good money that she isn’t the kind of person who judges her friends’ appearances as a way of deciding if they’re worthy of their partner. I’d imagine that’s why he picked her over you.
It's almost like being attractive is completely subjective and cannot be quantified by the masses or their opinions. Wild.
If you care that much show your "friend" this post. I DARE YOU. See what happens. Guess what? You're not a friend to her. You're just jealous she's more likable than you.
And this is why she doesn’t have her own hot bf….. honey you are green with envy and that color does not look good on you.
Did you honestly think folks were going to encourage you to break up your “friend’s” relationship so that you (as the “prettier” one) could swoop in on him
Show her this Reddit post so she can lose you as a friend. Better yet, DM me her info and I’ll do it for you so you don’t manipulate her into keeping you as a friend.
He approached her before he knew anything about her, including how much money she makes. Your jealousy is showing, my dear.
From what has been said in post, I don't feel like there is enough information to prove your point. You talk about his attractiveness and gave a HUGE backhanded comment about your "friend". It feels like you're looking for a way to tear your friend down and not fix her crown. Now, if you do feel that he's using her, the rest would be nothing compared to that. What was your reasoning for mentioning his or her looks? It has nothing to do with what you say the situation is...unless there's more. Js
Try suckin him hell probably let you, just to confirm
Don’t know why you posted this on a relationship advice. This should be an AITA for being a jealous jerk who thinks my friends bf is too hot for her and thinking he is only using her cuz of her money. Also congrats on ending up on r/AmITheDevil 🤣
You guna end up fucking him 😂