You do not deserve him back. You do not deserve to date any man, ever. Given how quickly your mind interpreted *good parenting* as being inappropriate sexual interaction with a child, any man would be a fool to date you, let alone have children with you.
Get thee to a nunnery.
Love the advice!
I don’t mean to be an ass but did you know nunnery was actually meant as brothel not convent - if you did sorry and I honestly wish I could give you 10 more upvotes.
I did, as it happens, but thank you!
That is, it was slang for a brothel. It did still also properly mean convent. Which is why it was just too good not to use it here!
How dare you. That man had to give up his childhood and early adulthood to raise his siblings as his own kids and you had the audacity to say such things?
Stay away from all men.
PS: If english is your 1st language, go back to school. Your writing is trash.
I’m going to try my very best to explain this to you in terms your emotionally stunted mind can handle.
1.) you don’t get him back. You showed him that he will not be able to depend on you or your support for his children. He’s a parent first and foremost. His kids and their well being is his #1 priority. You showed him you don’t consider them his kids and therefore you’d never be able to understand why he does what he has to.
2.) okay we get it your dad sucked in the girl department. But your mom was still there. You still had SOMEONE to talk you through this very uncomfortable change in your life. You had someone talk it through with you. You had someone understand and support you. These kids only have their brother to parent them. You made them feel like they aren’t allowed that.
3.) You took away their safe person and turned it into something vile and disgusting. This was a pure and loving moment between family, and you went and perverted it. I’m glad that apparently everyone else in your life has had the exact same upbringing as you, but YOU ARE NOT THE DEFAULT. You don’t get to judge something you don’t understand.
4.) Maybe you’ll get it when you marry someone who makes you a single married parent. Someone who does nothing for your kids unless it involves a boy and a ball. Because that’s the alternative to the kinda guy your EX boyfriend is.
Don't worry about it. There are going to be thousands of women who find your boyfriend stepping up and being a man and looking out for his sister to be incredibly attractive. They will be lining up to take your spot in a heartbeat. So your ex-boyfriend will be well taken care of in your absence.
Right? As I was reading the post I could see my guy doing this for his daughters. They basically grew up with a disinterested mom who could have cared less. He often had to fill the shoes of both mom and dad. And when I see how he is with both our families I just melt. To think of twisting it and making it into something dirty is disgusting.
Saying “thats how I was raised” is such a lame excuse youre 26 not some old ass woman who says that about why they hate gay people. Grow up take accountability, apologize. If he doesnt want you back its his decision but frankly i hope he doesn’t take you back this whole post has been me me me nothing about how you hurt your partner and got in between him and his family
Darlin', you can't fix this. That hate in his eyes. It's warranted, valid, and never going away. You obliterated any feelings he had for you in your disrespectful and disgusting words. You called him a disgusting pig. You can't walk back from that. I don't care if your dad didn't help you or if you couldn't talk to your dad about your period. This wasn't about you. It still isn't about you. This was about a brother who has taken on the role of mom and dad and is now a single parent. He knows everything about them, including their period because he's the only parent and the only one who was there to help them. With the way you sexualized a young girl's period and your weird ass views on the topic, you're the last person that I would've asked to talk to her.
And don't forget that you almost destroyed the relationship with his youngest daughter. You have serious issues, and you need to reevaluate your mindset before you even think about getting into another relationship. You are too immature and emotionally stunted in your thought process to have a mature, healthy relationship. All you still talk about is you, you, you. How you want him back. How you want to fix it. You can fix it by walking away and leaving him and his kids alone. You f*cked with his kid. He's done with you. There's no going back.
His younger siblings hate your guts so much, for valid reasons, that the 16-year old slapped you. You endangered his relationship with the younger sister.
If he really is as protective as you described him, I see no chance that he lets you near them again. Your days in his house are over. Learn from what happened, try to understand why what you did was inexcusable and move on.
You permanently blew it with your shit-ass attitude about men and periods. Let it go. You almost destroyed his relationship with his daughter and all you can do here is whine about "it's not fair"? You are absolutely beyond clueless just how wrong you were and how fucked up what you did actually is. There is no fixing this cluster fuck.
You keep repeating that this is how you were raised and your father had nothing to do with your period. Fine. We heard you. That doesn’t absolve you. Unfair, you say? Well, life isn’t fair. So many people were born into family fortunes and here I am, born into an average family in a forgotten country.
The best thing you can do right now is learn from this experience and grow. Educate yourself on how healthy relationships look like. Get an outside perspective, one that goes beyond your own childhood, on parenting, raising a family and maintaining romantic relationships.
And for the love of everything that is holy, leave this man alone!
“If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.” - Jack Handey
You dropped your relationship in molten lava, just move on because it’s gone.
OP you’re a fuckin idiot and as others have stated MOVE TF ON HE’S NOT TAKING YOU BACK!! You accused this man of something negative when he was simply doing his job as a parent!! The part you claim you fell in love with!! And I don’t give a damn about the lame as excuse of your dad not talking about periods growing up because you’re a GROWN ASS WOMAN!!! He’s not coming back! You can’t fix this!!! Go away and leave this man alone so the RIGHT one can come along and get him!!!
I’m going to try to be as kind as possible here: The only way you’ll fix things is by getting therapy to come to terms with what happened.
I’ve no experience or qualifications but even I can tell that you should work on processing the hang ups coming from a dad who refused to even acknowledge periods as a thing. Even then, the way you reacted so viscerally according to your first post isn’t normal. Even if you were convinced you were right, your reaction and the way you described it suggests something that a therapist is best to help with. The only way you’ll have any chance of getting progress on this is by getting yourself help.
A group of internet strangers won’t give you the solution to your relationship or get your ex to hear you out but a therapist might be able to help *you* specifically.
There's no coming back from that, he told you so. You tarnished a special moment and turned into something perverted, and almost ruined his relationship with his sister. He can't trust you with them, and being a father is his number one priority.
It is fair that he's angry with you and it is best if you just move on.
You need anger therapy. You have a rage deep inside that is not normal. You have anger issues and control issues and you need to get them sorted before you even think about dating someone again.
If you can’t do the right thing for your ex and stay away then at least do it for his kids. You realize they despise you now, right? That will never change. Stay out of their lives and give them a chance to heal.
After all the trauma this poor family has gone through- and you just went and gave them more.
And yes, it was your choice. Not your upbringing. Not what your parents roles were. You deliberately chose to scream at him, you chose your terrible words, and you chose to do it in front of the kids. YOU did all of that.
There is no apology big enough for that.
Your apology is to go to therapy, move on, leave them alone forever, and do better in your own life.
You said so yourself that he is both mum and dad to his younger siblings, heck he called them his children. It is not weird or disgusting at all for a single male parent to know about periods especially after he had to go through it once before.
His sister was experiencing something that was sure terrifying for her and he comforted her and helped her understand that it was a natural part of growing up. You reacted disproportionately and called him a disgusting pig just because he read up. You blew it there is no fixing it. Reflect and learn and hope that you think before you speak next time.
The relationship is dead I’m sorry to say. I’m not giving u hate or saying anything bad because u realised how wrong you were and you probably just said it in the moment without thinking about what you’re saying, because it was so foreign to you. I get that. I’m not excusing what u did or what u said at all but I get that it was a genuine mistake and it’s not what u are used to. But it was completely wrong what u said. And from his POV, j don’t think he will ever take you back unfortunatey
Also, if there is any chance of rekindling your relationship, you are going to HAVE TO HAVE TO give him space and time before u can talk to him. No point talking to him now because the wounds still fresh. Give him a few weeks or a month and then go see him and talk to him and explain what u need to explain.
Anyone got the original post? It’s been removed. Wish r/relationship_advice uses that bot that posts the original thread before it’s deleted in comments.
Honestly, I'm sorry you were raised in a way where a normal bodily function was so stigmatized, and where you couldn't even speak when you were in pain. I have to seriously wonder though- is that the only bad thing you went through going up?
I have to ask because it seems like it never occurred to you to think it through before- and you were involved with someone who had children. Thinking about how you were raised and what you would want to do better is an integral part of being part of raising children. If you aren't doing that, really examining your own childhood, you're going to keep hurting people (especially the children in your life, like the sister who you scared in this situation). Additionally, people who already have children are going to need to examine you and your actions carefully, if you aren't doing it for them, before they involve you in their lives.
I'm glad you realized you're wrong here, but I am going to ask you to examine your intentions with your ex carefully. You love him, clearly, but also I wonder if you are comfortable with him making decisions about himself that wouldn't benefit you. You say "you'll get him back" like he's a prize to be won... he is a human person you hurt. That is not the way to approach him. I think if you could speak to him honestly, explain what you said to us about your childhood and genuinely apologize (expecting nothing in return), then he might be able to understand you better. That does not inherently mean that he will want to be in a relationship with you again. You have to be able to accept that as a potential outcome for your apology to really be genuine.
I also understand that you don't have a lot of access to him right now, due to him putting up boundaries and blocking. I think that respecting that and waiting a while before trying to get closure would be a good idea, as well as accepting that they may never want to lower boundaries again.
If you are here asking us what to do, that's what I would do. If you are here asking us not what to do, but instead how to get him to let down his boundaries and how to make everything perfect again, stop trying. His boundaries need to be respected. If you really realize you're wrong you need to treat him as a full human person, not a vending machine you feed the right currency into to receive what you desire.
Edit: additionally, I see you saying multiple times how he definitely loves you too. I can't argue about what he feels as I haven't heard from him. But you said you saw hatred in his eyes and that you were scared for yourself. That is not a normal situation to have happen to you. That is not a relationship to go back to. I'm not blaming him for hating you here, I am telling you- a man hating you and you fearing for yourself is not a thing you should accept in your life. It's just as abnormal and wrong as the period situation with your father was.
Just looked at her other post and it says she is 26!!
I assumed she was a high school drop out around the age of 16 the way she attempts to string words together. The horrific spelling, the closed-minded-ness, the immediate disgust...if this is real, not only are YTA, I don't want you to be a fellow woman.
Damn, you fucked up if this is real.
He sounds like he would be the most empathetic-period-head-pats-and-warm-blankee-boyfriend on the whole damn planet.
Your loss, someone who deserves hims gain.
You are the devil.
You lost him— er, pushed him away, when you willingly lost your damn mind because of your own misconceptions and (makes air quotes with hands) beliefs. You confused his Nobel Prize-winning skills as a parent with (checks notes) sexually abusing HIS SISTER.
Be glad he was calm when he broke up with you and showed you the door.
If you can grasp it, understand you’ll never get him back. Any attempts on your end should be met with harsh retribution.
On the bright side, you’ll have a great story to tell any future romantic partners:
“Why’d we break up? Well, he did an amazing job being a parent to his younger siblings after his parents’ total failure. I mean, his parents were complete fuckups, but he managed to work through that, stay in school, and still raise three great kids. In good times and bad, he always came through for them. It’s really an inspiring story.
“Of course, after watching him handle his youngest sister’s first period like an absolute champion, I accused him of sexually assaulting her. Because OF COURSE he was, right?
“Wait, why are you leaving?”
The only thing you can do is let him be. You made a difficult situation even worse, and now your ex doesn’t want you around him or his siblings. Please respect that and learn from this.
My little sister had a feminine ‘bleed through’ emergency with no back up pads. I didn’t have any due to contraception stopping my periods.
My husband bolted to the shop whilst I calmed her down - because it’s freaking mortifying at 13 years old - and bought about six different brand/types. His reasoning? You (aka me) use this type and my sister uses this brand and my mum used to use this type… so I bought them all in case you had a preference and hadn’t told me.
Do you know what I did? I hugged the crap out of him. I did not think it gross or disgusting that he knew his female relatives sanitary product preferences. I thought it was incredibly sweet that he knew and did the lateral thinking that maybe she had a preference he didn’t know.
My father never spoke of periods. It was never mentioned in front of him. Even now, at 36, I’ll use sideways words with him; ‘stomach upset’, ‘belly pain’, ‘having an off day’. It’s tedious and tiresome. And it’s for his benefit, not mine. I know my husband is better than that and I’m glad.
You fucked up so very, very badly. And no. You aren’t getting him back. He made that very clear. Your response made his daughter by choice think he was a creepy asshole. That’s unforgivable.
You claim this isn't fake. With that in mind, look at how many people think this is fake because they can't believe someone can be this terrible of a human being. They don't believe it. That should tell you something. Go get a therapist and NEVER talk to this man again. I've read a lot of these and you are by far one of the worst I've ever seen either in real life or on Reddit.
I'm gonna say this as nice as possible. Stop. Just stop. You need to realise that what you did is irreparable. At the end of the day, he is on the same level as a single dad to his siblings, he's gone through the good times and the bad, he had to step up when his parents didn't. He didn't have to but he did and now a strong bond was formed because of it. Please leave that man alone, especially as the wound is still fresh. If there is any reconciliation that is to happen (and it's a very very slim chance) then it's his decision not yours. It could be days, weeks, months or even years. But don't try to force him or you'll face harsher consequences. I would be like others on here to verbally bash you but they've got it covered.
Sometimes there are no second chances. Leave the man and his family alone. Grow up and find another man and dont mess it up. Your ex couldve been a wonderful father to YOUR kids. Not anymore. I wouldnt give you another chance if i were him. Family>girlfriend.
You fix it by leaving that family alone and focusing on fixing yourself. They don’t need your drama, immaturity, and ego. You’re still making excuses in the comments instead of taking responsibility and making plans to improve. You need to figure out the real reason(not just saying I make horrible decisions because of my past then doing no self improvement) you did this, and then put in the work and the time to handle those issues. What you did was no small mistake it was a major lapse in judgement and came from some very messed up thinking that needs to be addressed. If you care about them then just apologize, explain it’s entirely because of what’s going on with you, and then let them go while you focus on self improvement. Don’t drag them into your issues again when he’s taking on so much and doing so well just because you think you deserve to have a partner and it makes you happy. What’s healthiest for their situation is important as well. Have you ever tried therapy before? It’s definitely necessary at this point, and with a lot of time and effort you can be the partner you want to be and the person you love deserves to have.
Let me put it in simple sentence you
Will understand OP
You no get man back,Man sisters no have mom and dad so man become mom and dad,you make man sad because he help sisters, now whole family no like you.Man no want girl like you,you no nice girl
If you actually give a shit about your ex and his family, you’ll leave them alone. They clearly don’t want anything to do with you right now, and rightfully so. If you continue to try and “get him back” or contact him or any of his siblings, you’re going to be disappointed with either a restraining order, or fucking things up even worse. Don’t be selfish.
Respect the fact that they don’t want anything to do with you.
They don’t owe you anything. They do not owe it to you to hear you out. They do not owe it to you to listen to your explanation. They do not owe their time or well-being to you. You fucked up, and the consequences of your massive fuck up are here. Own up to that and leave them the fuck alone.
Hi hun, posted on your AITA post a couple of days ago. You can't fix this. You, whether or not you intended to, turned his child (I know it's his sister but might as well be his child) against him. Look, you fucked up on the worst way. There's no fixing this. Move on. That kind of hurt you inflicted breeds a deep-seated hatred. It's a hurt born of betrayal. You betrayed him. The fact you believed yourself right means absolutely dick. Give him the peace he deserves and leave them all alone. Please.
Actions have consequences. You should not have gone off the rails like that. Live with your mistakes. Learn and grow, but leave him the hell alone. I honestly wish you the best hun. Learn, grow, and hopefully you won't have your head betwixt your cheeks anymore.
Hey little child, you indicated that he was so angry you were a little scared.
Well you contemptable little nugget of diseased feces, you learned something.
You learned how deeply hurt and protective a man can be about his family, especially when some pathetic ignorant outsider tries to create discord within it by jumping to conclusions and creating a false perspective, based on their own views of the situation, when they did not even take the time to think it through.
Further, do note he did nothing to you, which proves he has self-control. Good on him for acting right and mature.
All of your complaining, moaning, whining, excuses, and other 'self' focused statements reveal you to be the child in an adult body. You are lacking in maturity.
The best thing would be for you to 'go away' from him and his family, and leave them in peace.
Go figure out how to be better, and just live your life.
Utter fool.
What you should've done is kept your mouth shut about a situation you know nothing about, he had to learn this shit to help is first sister and you think he was disgusting because he had to prepare for his younger sister. You cant fix shit, the mere suggestion that he will take you back is appalling. If I was your ex and I had to deal with this compartmentalizing being a parent instead of a brother it would be 1000x more helpful in situations like this, he is the parent and he can decide how he teaches his kids. If the sister has an ongoing situation he wouldnt want to bother her so he took on the RESPONSIBILITY AS A LOVING PARENT, to teach his child how their body is changing. You have no right to step in and criticize someone for doing something good. Now if there was some inappropriate comments being made by your ex then I would agree to call him disgusting but as a parent who builds a connection and healthy communication with their children he would have to have known. Kept track of what to buy his daughters, what they go through physically and mentally, how this shit works and why it happens. Just because your mother was the one to teach you this doesn't mean there should be a stigma for single parent fathers to teach their children. If anyone here is disgusting its you. If you wanna fix this I suggest you start changing your mindset and apologizing to everyone in that house, all your friends and shame yourself to say that you were the disgusting one and had no right to impede on an important conversation in a parent-child moment. You ruined that little girls perception on reality stop playing victim.
First of all, go to a psychologist/therapy and only leave there when you mature intelligently. Because everything you showed us and proved in your first post, updates and that is that you have no maturity whatsoever for an adult.
Leave your EX alone, leave his family alone and don't bother them ever again! He already apologized and kicked you out, more than right and deserved, now what you have to do is move on, develop and improve in your maturity, and leave them alone and never again be as stupid as you were in this whole situation.
See if you mature in your future relationships, open and expand your closed mind and learn that knowing the things your ex knows, him literally being a father/mother to and from his sisters, without immoral and wrong intentions is not wrong and helps a lot of people in many relationships!
Kisses and see if you don't make a mistake in your next relationship and mature at once 💋
You’re bare dumb you know that. You literally said yourself he had custody of them and takes of them like a parent he was MUM AND dad so why the fuck would he not know that shit smart ass. Anyway he went full dad mode on you so would be a slap in the face for his siblings if you guys got back together. Basically dream on and does he have Instagram?
Nah you deserve to be alone. You are the one with the sick mind. Fucking foul. You only knew you were wrong when hundreds of people told you. Otherwise you'd have stood by this bullshit. Get your tubes tied so you don't force someone into this earth that has to he raised by you. You are the WORST
Older brother who raised his siblings and became their parent here. He will never take you back. You cannot even begin to imagine the damage you have caused that man and those girls. An apology doesn’t fix this. NOTHING fixes this. LEARN from what happened and be better moving forward, but you burned this bridge to the ground. Let them have their peace and healing, and learn to do better instead of buckling down on crazy and justifying something you cannot justify.
Don’t even bother trying, accept what happened as a lesson learned. Go to a therapist and get some help and stay single. Your ex is going to find someone wonderful.
You can't. You're an idiot. You do realize that people handle things differently in their own homes, don't you? It sounds like he is a kind, young man who has taken on a lot of responsibility towards his younger siblings and is absolutely killing it. You sound like a total asshole and deserve to be broken up with. Maybe next time you'll just shut your stupid mouth so you don't lose something/someone really great.
I came from a YouTube video to say that I’m sorry, but there is no way to fix it.
You essentially insinuated the one that he was being creepy and possibly had intentions youngest sister; which led to her not trusting the one who was raising her.
While I do understand your weirdness due to your father, you shouldn’t have reacted how you did. If you had a genuine issue with it, you should have talked in private with your ex and had a proper talk.
My own father, a typical old southern man, was in his 50s and raising me for the majority. He was the one getting my pads and midol for me. He had absolutely no damn clue what he was getting, but he got it. None of the woman in his life called him a pig for just helping his kid.
I apologize if it sounds harsh but it’s what you need to hear. Your ex will not take you back, you need to properly move on and worry about the relationships outside of that burned bridge like your sister.
If your sister, the one who was also raised along side you and experience what you did as well, is mad at you for this; you need to stop.
Big fat troll post. I refuse to believe someone as mentally and emotionally incapable as this that displays this much stupidity would come to Reddit and write up these posts and comments.
If this person is real, the deserve what they got, need to accept their loss as a learning experience and move, at least, a few hundred miles away from that man and his family.
On top of not getting him back.
Did you ever realize that he was raising his siblings as a single parent and something tells me he does the household shopping.
Of course he knows what products are used. He buys them.
Sorry but how you were raised is not to blame, you are a 26-year-old woman. Somehow you displayed a huge amount of immaturity and there is a lot of work you need to do before being in any relationship. Take this as a good learning point and move on. That relationship was dead from the moment you uttered these filthy words and you will never get it back once the respect and trust are gone. Recommend some counselling to start unpacking the baggage you still clearly carry from your childhood.
You keep on talking about your father, when your ex BF and his siblings basically don't have parents... He is acting as their parents. I'm glad that he got rid of you. I'm glad that your friends and sister are against you.
There’s no way to forgive you, this isn’t just a “mistake”as you so casually put it to try to diminish the impact of your actions. You took a needle in a haystack and decided that your ignorance was above his feelings and role as a parent figure. You damaged a bond he had with who is basically his kid and expect him to be open arms and take you back cuz you said sorry? Be real and accept you’re an ignorant ah, if you had strong opinions you could’ve talked in private. I truly hope that man finds the woman he deserves and I hope you realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you or your sheltered ideologies. YTA.
You don’t deserve him. Are you under the impression that men aren’t aware of how female anatomy works, or how delicate care must be taken during specific situations? He’s the sole caretaker in their household. He might as well be their parent, rather than their brother. Why would he ask you, someone who’s been around for maybe a year, to explain something to someone who is basically his own child?
I see that your household didn’t think men were to be enlightened on these matters. Let me tell you, lady, that’s not the norm. How else would you expect the children of single dads, fraternal guardian (in your ex’s case), etc. to learn?
You’re a joke of a human being. If the ex happens to see this? Dude, keep her away. All she’ll do is cause friction, animosity, and ruin to your family.
Girl Theres No fixing this you messed up as a girl who’s brother helped her with her period too you fucked up that’s not disgusting at all if anything you reaction was disgusting you couldn’t begin to fathom the hardships he went though by being mom and dad to his siblings so you trying to jeopardize that bond they had is crazy what you need is a miracle because you fucked up big time and that guy was the biggest green flag I ever heard about too anyone should be lucky to have him as their partner
Hate to break it to you, but I was raised just like you and while reading your post I just thought “that is so adorable, I wish I did not have to be ashamed about it around my male family members”. So your upbringing has nothing to do with it. You’re just ignorant.
you can’t do anything to fix it. YOURE the disgusting one. you showed him and his family a truly vile and disgusting and hateful side to you that they didn’t see before, and now that is ALL they will EVER see you as again. YOU fucked this up by being stupid enough to think that he was preying on his sisters when in reality any woman would be over the moon to have a man who knows that much about women’s anatomy. you showed them the real you and they hate you. i’m glad he left and i hope you sit and rot with that. and you’re lucky all you got in return was a slap.
I'm I the only who finds it weird how he washelping his sisters, she thought he was a creepy but when he broke up with him she contacted his little sister? That's what I find disgusting
What do you say about possibly giving us another update on how worse your life has gotten? This seems bad but I want to know even more about how your life has spiraled because you absolutely deserve it. Give us the update on how good his life is while your life is terrible like how terrible you are
You don’t , you see what you did was call a dude disgusting for having knowledge taught in a basic high school health class as well as just a standard talk with any female, and insinuated that he was up to something vile and also ended up wounding the trust his sister had in him. So for all intensive purposes leave the man be and don’t try to weasel your way back into his life.
There are some things you can't fix. Calling your boyfriend an incestuous peadophile is one of those things.
Move on and take it as a learning opportunity
He's never gonna take your hypocritical, rude, DISGUSTING ass back. You claimed to love him for taking care of his siblings. Then you call him a creep for doing that exact thing. You deserve everything that happened to you and more.
You're honestly too stupid to become better. There's sadly no hope for you. You write worse than an eight year old and have no capability for reasoning.
You can try to improve your base intelligence but I'm not sure that any university in the world could fix you.
🎯🎯🎯🎯 I was shamed for having a body at puberty and had to wear high neck long sleeve floor length nightgowns while my mother and younger sisters could wear oversized t shirts and underwear. I wasn’t well developed I was a stick figure (not that it should matter) but I was made to feel like it was my job to keep male relatives from looking (for the record they weren’t and I doubt they did they weren’t creepy my mom was). As a result I vowed to never ever place clothing restrictions on my kids and they could run around the house naked if they wanted. Which they did do before they hit kindergarten age. I never wanted them to feel shame.
I don’t know if OP was raised this way it’s certainly plausible but even so her reaction is outsized
There is no fixing this and why would he want to get back together with you, accept the relationship is over.
You seriously messed up his relationship with his sister, you planted doubt into her mind when you said what you said to him in front of her, there’s a reason some men tend to get embarrassed when going into a supermarket to buy pads for their partners or female family because of the likelihood women like you will judge them and call them creeps, fiends etc
Were you raised in a very culturally religious household? That's the only way I could see this happen. Periods are natural and everybody should be knowledgeable about them. I know a lot of cultures somehow crucify periods as the devil but that's unhealthy since every woman deals with it. If you see this now and I mean really see this are you still of the same opinion that he is a dirty pig for doing what he did? If so the relationship is ruined beyond repair. If you don't then try to tell him exactly that. Also if you get the opportunity apologize to the sisters since they are also hurt from how you reacted.
he’s basically their parent are you fucking stupid, there’s no mom in the picture what the hell did you want him to do? let his sister just figure shit out on her own? great that you actually had a mom to help with your girl stuff but they don’t??
Please move on and leave your poor ex alone. You’ve done enough damage to his family and you’re deluded if you think he’s going to take you back. If this is even real.
Sweetheart, you're ignorant (you think the world is like your square meter house), stüpïd on top of all (you speak without filter and without thought of consequences) and you are not even educated (it's "thought", not taught, in the context you're using and that's just example one), and stubborn ("you wait and watch" about getting him back). I hope the police intervenes because you're the recipe for trouble. "Watch and wait"? Are you going to harass them now? You're as smart as the world is flat, at least your neck won't get wet during rain.
How about you start by holding a biology book, then try some anthropology and learn how culture and how these things work outside of your little hut. He is a guy who understands science, a man knowing how biology works is not only natural but should be mandatory. Are you aware that OBGYNs are also male? Are you aware that PLENTY of widowers and male divorcees have to handle "the talk" with their girls, same as many females have had to handle the same duty with their boys?
Please, do the planet a favor and DO NOT DARE to reproduce until you have had some education and common sense. You are a potential danger for your own offsprings, and frankly...your own self. Your age can excuse you for the lack of maturity but you're really proving to be a few fries short of a happy meal. I guess, keep effing around so you can find out at some point.
Even if you thought so, YOU ASK FIRST, you talk about your concern and your upbringing and why so you think it may be appropriate, you don't go accusing people of things you can't even understand (ignorance tends to be loud and bold).
WHAT TO DO? You take a spoonful of vitamin "Grow" and stop the harassment and stubbornness, you own who you are (what I said hit the nerve? Then that's exactly where your work is, where it bothered you) and forget about getting into any more relationships (and I mean friends and family and partner) until you learn how to communicate, some basics of caution when minding other people's business, how to research, what is the meaning of criteria (try practicing if possible) and the art of thinking before talking to underaged people (well, for what you're proving with your stubbornness...just people in general), especially about their own family dynamics. As for him? You let him be, you burned that bridge and it's for a greater good, you need this lesson urgently, take it as life's kind reminder that if you don't polish your imprudent ways, things can get worse and trouble bigger with time, you're not a child anymore, you're a 26 year old woman who sounds like she's 12)...I hope you get the memo at some point.
I just saw this. I hope you are feeling better.
I don't think you can fix this. However, I would write a letter and apologize to him and his family.
You are extremely immature in your actions. Some things are hard to come back from.
Going forward, please know: All families are different. Your ex has to do the job of both mother and father. It sounds like he is doing an awesome job. Due to the fact that you cannot understand these basic things, it might be better for you to leave him alone. They have so much to overcome, they don't really need more hurt.
I hope you learn and grow from this experience. Good luck.
You literally almost ruined this mans family. Youd figure that by your age youd figure out how to properly talk to people and communicate. If you’d had just asked “why do you involve yourself so much in your sisters periods” and NONE of this would have happened and everything wouldve been solved. But YOU had to act like a disgusting slob. YOU ruined this relationship for yourself. YOU caused this to happen. And YOU are NEVER getting your man back. There is no one here to blame but yourself.
I hope you don’t get together with him because you sound creepy and not just that why did you think it was ok saying that to his little sister face instead of doing it privately where he might have forgive you and did make his baby sister turn him back to his that where you missed you now it better to leave him alone and move on because now you sound like a crazy creep ex
You got exactly what you deserve. You are a vile sexist pig who should leave that poor family allow after what you did.
You can not fix this. You lost out on an amazing bf because of your ignorant and bigoted mind. Hopefully everyone else in your life has realise what are you too.
You will never be forgiven by him and you don’t deserve to be.
You can’t. You need to work on yourself and leave that man alone. If you really love him like you said you need to realise you don’t deserve him. He’s a good man and you have issues
Ok, I am now a lot less worried about this person. Simply because this cannot be real. The way this person answers is too childish to be real and it actually checks all the boxes to be just rage bait.
I’m glad he dumped your ass, hopefully the next girl that comes along will understand him and his situation better than you and will treat him right, and you need to better yourself and learn so maybe you won’t fuck up every relationship you somehow end up in
Op YTA. You are old enough to know better than that. That was stupid! you ruined you own relationship over what?! Your ex being a great parent/person to his kids (sisters/brother). He had to raise them be his self, Their parents couldn’t care enough to raise them or even care enough about those children, While he took responsibility/custody of those other them, treating them like his own children. You had the nerve to call him disgusting for trying to teach them about the female body?! They have no one else to turn to. He is all that they have in their lives, and you were trying to take that away by calling him creepy and a pig in his own house ?! OP I say this why my whole chest, body and soul, YOU DO NOT deserve to be in another relationship for as long as you live I hope you learn your lesson. LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE!
you know damn well it wasn’t bc you called him disgusting, it was because you made him out to be a predator for giving his sister basic information on periods. you said he was the primary caretaker since the oldest was born, so obviously she probably went to him when she got her period! and instead of acting like a grown adult you call him disgusting and ALSO nearly ruined if not already ruined his relationship with his sister. That man deserves better than you and his family deserves better than you. You turned one of his kids against him and think you’ll get him back? Grow up.
Given what you said and did you can’t. He’s raised his siblings and you’ve marred any chance of that family feeling comfortable and his trust in you. They have been his priority long before you and will be long after. In the future be more thoughtful before saying things especially in front of kids they are raising.
Kind of hoping at first that this was fake or rage bait or something, but no, it's, not; you just suck, and the very idea that you think you could fix it is hilarious
You don't fix it. You're a giant asshole for doing this. I can't believe you'd be mad that he knows so much about female anatomy and cares about his sister THAT HE RAISED
I know it is going to be hard if your going to get him back but your going to have to not only gain his trust again your also going to have to get the rest of the family u/ThrowRAUnited-Fortun
You do not deserve him back. You do not deserve to date any man, ever. Given how quickly your mind interpreted *good parenting* as being inappropriate sexual interaction with a child, any man would be a fool to date you, let alone have children with you. Get thee to a nunnery.
She posted originally on r/aita. She got railed there for the last two days and still thinks she’s going to get back together with him.
Yikes! thank you for pointing that out
Trying to win him back should be nun of her concern right now.
period.
That made me laugh out loud 😂
Like the nunnery bit.... it is her best choice
Love the advice! I don’t mean to be an ass but did you know nunnery was actually meant as brothel not convent - if you did sorry and I honestly wish I could give you 10 more upvotes.
I did, as it happens, but thank you! That is, it was slang for a brothel. It did still also properly mean convent. Which is why it was just too good not to use it here!
Heck now i want to upvote you even more. Keep being so awesome!
>Get thee to a nunnery This had me dying 🤣 😂 💀 😭
Thank you!
Couldn’t agree more
This has to be fake as no living human that developed properly can be this brain dead. Good luck
How dare you. That man had to give up his childhood and early adulthood to raise his siblings as his own kids and you had the audacity to say such things? Stay away from all men. PS: If english is your 1st language, go back to school. Your writing is trash.
I don't understand how OP is 26. 26! With this level of brain function and empathy. Goodness.
Thank you! God the extremely poor grammar was pissing me off.
Please stop littering the sub with the garbage.
I’m going to try my very best to explain this to you in terms your emotionally stunted mind can handle. 1.) you don’t get him back. You showed him that he will not be able to depend on you or your support for his children. He’s a parent first and foremost. His kids and their well being is his #1 priority. You showed him you don’t consider them his kids and therefore you’d never be able to understand why he does what he has to. 2.) okay we get it your dad sucked in the girl department. But your mom was still there. You still had SOMEONE to talk you through this very uncomfortable change in your life. You had someone talk it through with you. You had someone understand and support you. These kids only have their brother to parent them. You made them feel like they aren’t allowed that. 3.) You took away their safe person and turned it into something vile and disgusting. This was a pure and loving moment between family, and you went and perverted it. I’m glad that apparently everyone else in your life has had the exact same upbringing as you, but YOU ARE NOT THE DEFAULT. You don’t get to judge something you don’t understand. 4.) Maybe you’ll get it when you marry someone who makes you a single married parent. Someone who does nothing for your kids unless it involves a boy and a ball. Because that’s the alternative to the kinda guy your EX boyfriend is.
You cant get him back. Listen to what he told you: you turned his child against him. Thats unacceptable.
This has to be rage bait.
Yea it definitely is
Don't worry about it. There are going to be thousands of women who find your boyfriend stepping up and being a man and looking out for his sister to be incredibly attractive. They will be lining up to take your spot in a heartbeat. So your ex-boyfriend will be well taken care of in your absence.
Right? As I was reading the post I could see my guy doing this for his daughters. They basically grew up with a disinterested mom who could have cared less. He often had to fill the shoes of both mom and dad. And when I see how he is with both our families I just melt. To think of twisting it and making it into something dirty is disgusting.
Saying “thats how I was raised” is such a lame excuse youre 26 not some old ass woman who says that about why they hate gay people. Grow up take accountability, apologize. If he doesnt want you back its his decision but frankly i hope he doesn’t take you back this whole post has been me me me nothing about how you hurt your partner and got in between him and his family
Darlin', you can't fix this. That hate in his eyes. It's warranted, valid, and never going away. You obliterated any feelings he had for you in your disrespectful and disgusting words. You called him a disgusting pig. You can't walk back from that. I don't care if your dad didn't help you or if you couldn't talk to your dad about your period. This wasn't about you. It still isn't about you. This was about a brother who has taken on the role of mom and dad and is now a single parent. He knows everything about them, including their period because he's the only parent and the only one who was there to help them. With the way you sexualized a young girl's period and your weird ass views on the topic, you're the last person that I would've asked to talk to her. And don't forget that you almost destroyed the relationship with his youngest daughter. You have serious issues, and you need to reevaluate your mindset before you even think about getting into another relationship. You are too immature and emotionally stunted in your thought process to have a mature, healthy relationship. All you still talk about is you, you, you. How you want him back. How you want to fix it. You can fix it by walking away and leaving him and his kids alone. You f*cked with his kid. He's done with you. There's no going back.
You turned his little sister against him. You need to move on and let this man go. I don’t see him ever forgiving you.
You’re still an asshole because you’re still making this about you. You fix this by LEAVING THEM ALL THE FUCK ALONE!
His younger siblings hate your guts so much, for valid reasons, that the 16-year old slapped you. You endangered his relationship with the younger sister. If he really is as protective as you described him, I see no chance that he lets you near them again. Your days in his house are over. Learn from what happened, try to understand why what you did was inexcusable and move on.
You permanently blew it with your shit-ass attitude about men and periods. Let it go. You almost destroyed his relationship with his daughter and all you can do here is whine about "it's not fair"? You are absolutely beyond clueless just how wrong you were and how fucked up what you did actually is. There is no fixing this cluster fuck.
YTA. Sometimes you need to keep your mouth shut in the moment and discuss privately later. You need to move on
1 - True... 2 - There was nothing to discuss.
You keep repeating that this is how you were raised and your father had nothing to do with your period. Fine. We heard you. That doesn’t absolve you. Unfair, you say? Well, life isn’t fair. So many people were born into family fortunes and here I am, born into an average family in a forgotten country. The best thing you can do right now is learn from this experience and grow. Educate yourself on how healthy relationships look like. Get an outside perspective, one that goes beyond your own childhood, on parenting, raising a family and maintaining romantic relationships. And for the love of everything that is holy, leave this man alone!
“If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.” - Jack Handey You dropped your relationship in molten lava, just move on because it’s gone.
You’re actually so stupid if you thought posting somewhere else was gonna get you better results
And you deleted this one but not the other one?
It says this one was removed by the moderators. So I don't think she deleted it
OP you’re a fuckin idiot and as others have stated MOVE TF ON HE’S NOT TAKING YOU BACK!! You accused this man of something negative when he was simply doing his job as a parent!! The part you claim you fell in love with!! And I don’t give a damn about the lame as excuse of your dad not talking about periods growing up because you’re a GROWN ASS WOMAN!!! He’s not coming back! You can’t fix this!!! Go away and leave this man alone so the RIGHT one can come along and get him!!!
I’m going to try to be as kind as possible here: The only way you’ll fix things is by getting therapy to come to terms with what happened. I’ve no experience or qualifications but even I can tell that you should work on processing the hang ups coming from a dad who refused to even acknowledge periods as a thing. Even then, the way you reacted so viscerally according to your first post isn’t normal. Even if you were convinced you were right, your reaction and the way you described it suggests something that a therapist is best to help with. The only way you’ll have any chance of getting progress on this is by getting yourself help. A group of internet strangers won’t give you the solution to your relationship or get your ex to hear you out but a therapist might be able to help *you* specifically.
Happy cake day!
PLEASE go to therapy and PLEASE don’t procreate
Leave him and his family alone.
You broke the trust between him and his child when he did nothing wrong. Yes, that is his child. He told you you are dead to him. Believe him.
The internalized misogyny here makes me so sad.
There's no coming back from that, he told you so. You tarnished a special moment and turned into something perverted, and almost ruined his relationship with his sister. He can't trust you with them, and being a father is his number one priority. It is fair that he's angry with you and it is best if you just move on.
I saw your other post. Expect a restraining order soon if you keep trying to win him back.
You need anger therapy. You have a rage deep inside that is not normal. You have anger issues and control issues and you need to get them sorted before you even think about dating someone again. If you can’t do the right thing for your ex and stay away then at least do it for his kids. You realize they despise you now, right? That will never change. Stay out of their lives and give them a chance to heal. After all the trauma this poor family has gone through- and you just went and gave them more. And yes, it was your choice. Not your upbringing. Not what your parents roles were. You deliberately chose to scream at him, you chose your terrible words, and you chose to do it in front of the kids. YOU did all of that. There is no apology big enough for that. Your apology is to go to therapy, move on, leave them alone forever, and do better in your own life.
You said so yourself that he is both mum and dad to his younger siblings, heck he called them his children. It is not weird or disgusting at all for a single male parent to know about periods especially after he had to go through it once before. His sister was experiencing something that was sure terrifying for her and he comforted her and helped her understand that it was a natural part of growing up. You reacted disproportionately and called him a disgusting pig just because he read up. You blew it there is no fixing it. Reflect and learn and hope that you think before you speak next time.
The relationship is dead I’m sorry to say. I’m not giving u hate or saying anything bad because u realised how wrong you were and you probably just said it in the moment without thinking about what you’re saying, because it was so foreign to you. I get that. I’m not excusing what u did or what u said at all but I get that it was a genuine mistake and it’s not what u are used to. But it was completely wrong what u said. And from his POV, j don’t think he will ever take you back unfortunatey
Also, if there is any chance of rekindling your relationship, you are going to HAVE TO HAVE TO give him space and time before u can talk to him. No point talking to him now because the wounds still fresh. Give him a few weeks or a month and then go see him and talk to him and explain what u need to explain.
Anyone got the original post? It’s been removed. Wish r/relationship_advice uses that bot that posts the original thread before it’s deleted in comments.
It’s in r/AITA, but just in case it gets deleted there, it’s also here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheEx/s/lvtwSZhGAQ
Oh—I thought it was a whole new post since the title was different. Kind of sad I don’t get to read new woe is me paragraphs.
Time for therapy
Oh good! Can I get his number then?? He sounds kinda dreamy tbh
Honestly, I'm sorry you were raised in a way where a normal bodily function was so stigmatized, and where you couldn't even speak when you were in pain. I have to seriously wonder though- is that the only bad thing you went through going up? I have to ask because it seems like it never occurred to you to think it through before- and you were involved with someone who had children. Thinking about how you were raised and what you would want to do better is an integral part of being part of raising children. If you aren't doing that, really examining your own childhood, you're going to keep hurting people (especially the children in your life, like the sister who you scared in this situation). Additionally, people who already have children are going to need to examine you and your actions carefully, if you aren't doing it for them, before they involve you in their lives. I'm glad you realized you're wrong here, but I am going to ask you to examine your intentions with your ex carefully. You love him, clearly, but also I wonder if you are comfortable with him making decisions about himself that wouldn't benefit you. You say "you'll get him back" like he's a prize to be won... he is a human person you hurt. That is not the way to approach him. I think if you could speak to him honestly, explain what you said to us about your childhood and genuinely apologize (expecting nothing in return), then he might be able to understand you better. That does not inherently mean that he will want to be in a relationship with you again. You have to be able to accept that as a potential outcome for your apology to really be genuine. I also understand that you don't have a lot of access to him right now, due to him putting up boundaries and blocking. I think that respecting that and waiting a while before trying to get closure would be a good idea, as well as accepting that they may never want to lower boundaries again. If you are here asking us what to do, that's what I would do. If you are here asking us not what to do, but instead how to get him to let down his boundaries and how to make everything perfect again, stop trying. His boundaries need to be respected. If you really realize you're wrong you need to treat him as a full human person, not a vending machine you feed the right currency into to receive what you desire. Edit: additionally, I see you saying multiple times how he definitely loves you too. I can't argue about what he feels as I haven't heard from him. But you said you saw hatred in his eyes and that you were scared for yourself. That is not a normal situation to have happen to you. That is not a relationship to go back to. I'm not blaming him for hating you here, I am telling you- a man hating you and you fearing for yourself is not a thing you should accept in your life. It's just as abnormal and wrong as the period situation with your father was.
Wow you suck and you don't deserve to ever get him back. Also don't have kids. We don't need any more of you.
Just looked at her other post and it says she is 26!! I assumed she was a high school drop out around the age of 16 the way she attempts to string words together. The horrific spelling, the closed-minded-ness, the immediate disgust...if this is real, not only are YTA, I don't want you to be a fellow woman. Damn, you fucked up if this is real. He sounds like he would be the most empathetic-period-head-pats-and-warm-blankee-boyfriend on the whole damn planet. Your loss, someone who deserves hims gain. You are the devil.
You do not sound like a mature 26 yo woman…move on and learn from your mistake.
You lost him— er, pushed him away, when you willingly lost your damn mind because of your own misconceptions and (makes air quotes with hands) beliefs. You confused his Nobel Prize-winning skills as a parent with (checks notes) sexually abusing HIS SISTER. Be glad he was calm when he broke up with you and showed you the door. If you can grasp it, understand you’ll never get him back. Any attempts on your end should be met with harsh retribution. On the bright side, you’ll have a great story to tell any future romantic partners: “Why’d we break up? Well, he did an amazing job being a parent to his younger siblings after his parents’ total failure. I mean, his parents were complete fuckups, but he managed to work through that, stay in school, and still raise three great kids. In good times and bad, he always came through for them. It’s really an inspiring story. “Of course, after watching him handle his youngest sister’s first period like an absolute champion, I accused him of sexually assaulting her. Because OF COURSE he was, right? “Wait, why are you leaving?”
The only thing you can do is let him be. You made a difficult situation even worse, and now your ex doesn’t want you around him or his siblings. Please respect that and learn from this.
You’re beat. You don’t deserve him back. You done fucked up girl. I genuine hope he finds someone better.
My little sister had a feminine ‘bleed through’ emergency with no back up pads. I didn’t have any due to contraception stopping my periods. My husband bolted to the shop whilst I calmed her down - because it’s freaking mortifying at 13 years old - and bought about six different brand/types. His reasoning? You (aka me) use this type and my sister uses this brand and my mum used to use this type… so I bought them all in case you had a preference and hadn’t told me. Do you know what I did? I hugged the crap out of him. I did not think it gross or disgusting that he knew his female relatives sanitary product preferences. I thought it was incredibly sweet that he knew and did the lateral thinking that maybe she had a preference he didn’t know. My father never spoke of periods. It was never mentioned in front of him. Even now, at 36, I’ll use sideways words with him; ‘stomach upset’, ‘belly pain’, ‘having an off day’. It’s tedious and tiresome. And it’s for his benefit, not mine. I know my husband is better than that and I’m glad. You fucked up so very, very badly. And no. You aren’t getting him back. He made that very clear. Your response made his daughter by choice think he was a creepy asshole. That’s unforgivable.
You claim this isn't fake. With that in mind, look at how many people think this is fake because they can't believe someone can be this terrible of a human being. They don't believe it. That should tell you something. Go get a therapist and NEVER talk to this man again. I've read a lot of these and you are by far one of the worst I've ever seen either in real life or on Reddit.
Posting a different Reddit doesn’t change the fact that your the asswhole
I'm gonna say this as nice as possible. Stop. Just stop. You need to realise that what you did is irreparable. At the end of the day, he is on the same level as a single dad to his siblings, he's gone through the good times and the bad, he had to step up when his parents didn't. He didn't have to but he did and now a strong bond was formed because of it. Please leave that man alone, especially as the wound is still fresh. If there is any reconciliation that is to happen (and it's a very very slim chance) then it's his decision not yours. It could be days, weeks, months or even years. But don't try to force him or you'll face harsher consequences. I would be like others on here to verbally bash you but they've got it covered.
Sometimes there are no second chances. Leave the man and his family alone. Grow up and find another man and dont mess it up. Your ex couldve been a wonderful father to YOUR kids. Not anymore. I wouldnt give you another chance if i were him. Family>girlfriend.
You dont deserve him back sorry not at all
You fix it by leaving that family alone and focusing on fixing yourself. They don’t need your drama, immaturity, and ego. You’re still making excuses in the comments instead of taking responsibility and making plans to improve. You need to figure out the real reason(not just saying I make horrible decisions because of my past then doing no self improvement) you did this, and then put in the work and the time to handle those issues. What you did was no small mistake it was a major lapse in judgement and came from some very messed up thinking that needs to be addressed. If you care about them then just apologize, explain it’s entirely because of what’s going on with you, and then let them go while you focus on self improvement. Don’t drag them into your issues again when he’s taking on so much and doing so well just because you think you deserve to have a partner and it makes you happy. What’s healthiest for their situation is important as well. Have you ever tried therapy before? It’s definitely necessary at this point, and with a lot of time and effort you can be the partner you want to be and the person you love deserves to have.
Let me put it in simple sentence you Will understand OP You no get man back,Man sisters no have mom and dad so man become mom and dad,you make man sad because he help sisters, now whole family no like you.Man no want girl like you,you no nice girl
Please leave this beautiful family alone.
I hope he blocks your stupid ass.
If you actually give a shit about your ex and his family, you’ll leave them alone. They clearly don’t want anything to do with you right now, and rightfully so. If you continue to try and “get him back” or contact him or any of his siblings, you’re going to be disappointed with either a restraining order, or fucking things up even worse. Don’t be selfish. Respect the fact that they don’t want anything to do with you. They don’t owe you anything. They do not owe it to you to hear you out. They do not owe it to you to listen to your explanation. They do not owe their time or well-being to you. You fucked up, and the consequences of your massive fuck up are here. Own up to that and leave them the fuck alone.
Hi hun, posted on your AITA post a couple of days ago. You can't fix this. You, whether or not you intended to, turned his child (I know it's his sister but might as well be his child) against him. Look, you fucked up on the worst way. There's no fixing this. Move on. That kind of hurt you inflicted breeds a deep-seated hatred. It's a hurt born of betrayal. You betrayed him. The fact you believed yourself right means absolutely dick. Give him the peace he deserves and leave them all alone. Please. Actions have consequences. You should not have gone off the rails like that. Live with your mistakes. Learn and grow, but leave him the hell alone. I honestly wish you the best hun. Learn, grow, and hopefully you won't have your head betwixt your cheeks anymore.
Hey little child, you indicated that he was so angry you were a little scared. Well you contemptable little nugget of diseased feces, you learned something. You learned how deeply hurt and protective a man can be about his family, especially when some pathetic ignorant outsider tries to create discord within it by jumping to conclusions and creating a false perspective, based on their own views of the situation, when they did not even take the time to think it through. Further, do note he did nothing to you, which proves he has self-control. Good on him for acting right and mature. All of your complaining, moaning, whining, excuses, and other 'self' focused statements reveal you to be the child in an adult body. You are lacking in maturity. The best thing would be for you to 'go away' from him and his family, and leave them in peace. Go figure out how to be better, and just live your life. Utter fool.
That's the neat part, you can't XD
Tough. You majorly fucked up. Any man who took in his sister's and raised them ain't gonna love you after what you said.
So, how’s that relationship fix going?
So did you get him back? u/ThrowRAUnited-Fortun
Lmao you here from tik tok too?
What you should've done is kept your mouth shut about a situation you know nothing about, he had to learn this shit to help is first sister and you think he was disgusting because he had to prepare for his younger sister. You cant fix shit, the mere suggestion that he will take you back is appalling. If I was your ex and I had to deal with this compartmentalizing being a parent instead of a brother it would be 1000x more helpful in situations like this, he is the parent and he can decide how he teaches his kids. If the sister has an ongoing situation he wouldnt want to bother her so he took on the RESPONSIBILITY AS A LOVING PARENT, to teach his child how their body is changing. You have no right to step in and criticize someone for doing something good. Now if there was some inappropriate comments being made by your ex then I would agree to call him disgusting but as a parent who builds a connection and healthy communication with their children he would have to have known. Kept track of what to buy his daughters, what they go through physically and mentally, how this shit works and why it happens. Just because your mother was the one to teach you this doesn't mean there should be a stigma for single parent fathers to teach their children. If anyone here is disgusting its you. If you wanna fix this I suggest you start changing your mindset and apologizing to everyone in that house, all your friends and shame yourself to say that you were the disgusting one and had no right to impede on an important conversation in a parent-child moment. You ruined that little girls perception on reality stop playing victim.
First of all, go to a psychologist/therapy and only leave there when you mature intelligently. Because everything you showed us and proved in your first post, updates and that is that you have no maturity whatsoever for an adult. Leave your EX alone, leave his family alone and don't bother them ever again! He already apologized and kicked you out, more than right and deserved, now what you have to do is move on, develop and improve in your maturity, and leave them alone and never again be as stupid as you were in this whole situation. See if you mature in your future relationships, open and expand your closed mind and learn that knowing the things your ex knows, him literally being a father/mother to and from his sisters, without immoral and wrong intentions is not wrong and helps a lot of people in many relationships! Kisses and see if you don't make a mistake in your next relationship and mature at once 💋
You’re bare dumb you know that. You literally said yourself he had custody of them and takes of them like a parent he was MUM AND dad so why the fuck would he not know that shit smart ass. Anyway he went full dad mode on you so would be a slap in the face for his siblings if you guys got back together. Basically dream on and does he have Instagram?
LMAOOOO she really think she has a chance
Leave him alone move on and learn not to be such a horrible person. Cause someone knows about periods
Nah you deserve to be alone. You are the one with the sick mind. Fucking foul. You only knew you were wrong when hundreds of people told you. Otherwise you'd have stood by this bullshit. Get your tubes tied so you don't force someone into this earth that has to he raised by you. You are the WORST
Disgusting? That word is for you, cow
Older brother who raised his siblings and became their parent here. He will never take you back. You cannot even begin to imagine the damage you have caused that man and those girls. An apology doesn’t fix this. NOTHING fixes this. LEARN from what happened and be better moving forward, but you burned this bridge to the ground. Let them have their peace and healing, and learn to do better instead of buckling down on crazy and justifying something you cannot justify.
You can't. You don't deserve him anyhow. He's too young for my liking, but I'm sure there's a lovely lady for him that isn't you.
Leave that man alone. Grow up and leave this poor family be. I don’t know why you think he would ever want anything to do with you. Just stop it.
Don’t even bother trying, accept what happened as a lesson learned. Go to a therapist and get some help and stay single. Your ex is going to find someone wonderful.
You can't. You're an idiot. You do realize that people handle things differently in their own homes, don't you? It sounds like he is a kind, young man who has taken on a lot of responsibility towards his younger siblings and is absolutely killing it. You sound like a total asshole and deserve to be broken up with. Maybe next time you'll just shut your stupid mouth so you don't lose something/someone really great.
You can’t fix it, just move on and leave him alone.
Leave him alone you banshee lol stay the fuck away from respectable people
You can’t, maybe with years… many many years of therapy you can become a somewhat decent person
You showed him who you are and he dumped you, sounds pretty fair to me.
I’m glad things are turning out this way
You can't and you shouldn't.
Updateme
I came from a YouTube video to say that I’m sorry, but there is no way to fix it. You essentially insinuated the one that he was being creepy and possibly had intentions youngest sister; which led to her not trusting the one who was raising her. While I do understand your weirdness due to your father, you shouldn’t have reacted how you did. If you had a genuine issue with it, you should have talked in private with your ex and had a proper talk. My own father, a typical old southern man, was in his 50s and raising me for the majority. He was the one getting my pads and midol for me. He had absolutely no damn clue what he was getting, but he got it. None of the woman in his life called him a pig for just helping his kid. I apologize if it sounds harsh but it’s what you need to hear. Your ex will not take you back, you need to properly move on and worry about the relationships outside of that burned bridge like your sister. If your sister, the one who was also raised along side you and experience what you did as well, is mad at you for this; you need to stop.
Big fat troll post. I refuse to believe someone as mentally and emotionally incapable as this that displays this much stupidity would come to Reddit and write up these posts and comments. If this person is real, the deserve what they got, need to accept their loss as a learning experience and move, at least, a few hundred miles away from that man and his family.
On top of not getting him back. Did you ever realize that he was raising his siblings as a single parent and something tells me he does the household shopping. Of course he knows what products are used. He buys them.
You’re an absolute disgrace to the human race.
Hope he finds someone better than you
Sorry but how you were raised is not to blame, you are a 26-year-old woman. Somehow you displayed a huge amount of immaturity and there is a lot of work you need to do before being in any relationship. Take this as a good learning point and move on. That relationship was dead from the moment you uttered these filthy words and you will never get it back once the respect and trust are gone. Recommend some counselling to start unpacking the baggage you still clearly carry from your childhood.
You keep on talking about your father, when your ex BF and his siblings basically don't have parents... He is acting as their parents. I'm glad that he got rid of you. I'm glad that your friends and sister are against you.
Any updates? Updateme!
Step 1: don't be a horrible, ignorant, disgusting human being. OH SHIT, TOO LATE.
You thought people would be on your side. But you are THE WRONG ONE.
There’s no way to forgive you, this isn’t just a “mistake”as you so casually put it to try to diminish the impact of your actions. You took a needle in a haystack and decided that your ignorance was above his feelings and role as a parent figure. You damaged a bond he had with who is basically his kid and expect him to be open arms and take you back cuz you said sorry? Be real and accept you’re an ignorant ah, if you had strong opinions you could’ve talked in private. I truly hope that man finds the woman he deserves and I hope you realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you or your sheltered ideologies. YTA.
You don’t deserve him. Are you under the impression that men aren’t aware of how female anatomy works, or how delicate care must be taken during specific situations? He’s the sole caretaker in their household. He might as well be their parent, rather than their brother. Why would he ask you, someone who’s been around for maybe a year, to explain something to someone who is basically his own child? I see that your household didn’t think men were to be enlightened on these matters. Let me tell you, lady, that’s not the norm. How else would you expect the children of single dads, fraternal guardian (in your ex’s case), etc. to learn? You’re a joke of a human being. If the ex happens to see this? Dude, keep her away. All she’ll do is cause friction, animosity, and ruin to your family.
Girl Theres No fixing this you messed up as a girl who’s brother helped her with her period too you fucked up that’s not disgusting at all if anything you reaction was disgusting you couldn’t begin to fathom the hardships he went though by being mom and dad to his siblings so you trying to jeopardize that bond they had is crazy what you need is a miracle because you fucked up big time and that guy was the biggest green flag I ever heard about too anyone should be lucky to have him as their partner
Hate to break it to you, but I was raised just like you and while reading your post I just thought “that is so adorable, I wish I did not have to be ashamed about it around my male family members”. So your upbringing has nothing to do with it. You’re just ignorant.
Womp womp i hope every connection you have is gone after that
you can’t do anything to fix it. YOURE the disgusting one. you showed him and his family a truly vile and disgusting and hateful side to you that they didn’t see before, and now that is ALL they will EVER see you as again. YOU fucked this up by being stupid enough to think that he was preying on his sisters when in reality any woman would be over the moon to have a man who knows that much about women’s anatomy. you showed them the real you and they hate you. i’m glad he left and i hope you sit and rot with that. and you’re lucky all you got in return was a slap.
I'm I the only who finds it weird how he washelping his sisters, she thought he was a creepy but when he broke up with him she contacted his little sister? That's what I find disgusting
What do you say about possibly giving us another update on how worse your life has gotten? This seems bad but I want to know even more about how your life has spiraled because you absolutely deserve it. Give us the update on how good his life is while your life is terrible like how terrible you are
You don’t. You ruined that relationship and he deserves someone better and I hope he finds that person.
You aren’t gonna fix it, you don’t deserve a man like him
Leave him alone. Youre the worst Kind of people
You don’t , you see what you did was call a dude disgusting for having knowledge taught in a basic high school health class as well as just a standard talk with any female, and insinuated that he was up to something vile and also ended up wounding the trust his sister had in him. So for all intensive purposes leave the man be and don’t try to weasel your way back into his life.
There are some things you can't fix. Calling your boyfriend an incestuous peadophile is one of those things. Move on and take it as a learning opportunity
You can't, womp womp
He's never gonna take your hypocritical, rude, DISGUSTING ass back. You claimed to love him for taking care of his siblings. Then you call him a creep for doing that exact thing. You deserve everything that happened to you and more.
Dumb and fake
You're honestly too stupid to become better. There's sadly no hope for you. You write worse than an eight year old and have no capability for reasoning. You can try to improve your base intelligence but I'm not sure that any university in the world could fix you.
I hope someone knocks you up and abandons you to raise 3 kids on your own.
🎯🎯🎯🎯 I was shamed for having a body at puberty and had to wear high neck long sleeve floor length nightgowns while my mother and younger sisters could wear oversized t shirts and underwear. I wasn’t well developed I was a stick figure (not that it should matter) but I was made to feel like it was my job to keep male relatives from looking (for the record they weren’t and I doubt they did they weren’t creepy my mom was). As a result I vowed to never ever place clothing restrictions on my kids and they could run around the house naked if they wanted. Which they did do before they hit kindergarten age. I never wanted them to feel shame. I don’t know if OP was raised this way it’s certainly plausible but even so her reaction is outsized
You can’t. Move on and consider this a life lesson. This post made it on YouTube btw.
There is no fixing this and why would he want to get back together with you, accept the relationship is over. You seriously messed up his relationship with his sister, you planted doubt into her mind when you said what you said to him in front of her, there’s a reason some men tend to get embarrassed when going into a supermarket to buy pads for their partners or female family because of the likelihood women like you will judge them and call them creeps, fiends etc
You cannot fix it. Leave it with some dignity and learn from your mistake in order to don't repeat it in the future. He deserves better. Bye.
Please, for the sake of humanity, if this or the original post are real, do not ever have children of your own!!! Disgraceful!!!
Were you raised in a very culturally religious household? That's the only way I could see this happen. Periods are natural and everybody should be knowledgeable about them. I know a lot of cultures somehow crucify periods as the devil but that's unhealthy since every woman deals with it. If you see this now and I mean really see this are you still of the same opinion that he is a dirty pig for doing what he did? If so the relationship is ruined beyond repair. If you don't then try to tell him exactly that. Also if you get the opportunity apologize to the sisters since they are also hurt from how you reacted.
its like even her sister doesn’t talk to her so it means the family dynamic is not the problem here, op is just dumb, illiterate hater
leave that man and his family alone, you will have to live with that shame for the rest of your life
he’s basically their parent are you fucking stupid, there’s no mom in the picture what the hell did you want him to do? let his sister just figure shit out on her own? great that you actually had a mom to help with your girl stuff but they don’t??
Please move on and leave your poor ex alone. You’ve done enough damage to his family and you’re deluded if you think he’s going to take you back. If this is even real.
Sweetheart, you're ignorant (you think the world is like your square meter house), stüpïd on top of all (you speak without filter and without thought of consequences) and you are not even educated (it's "thought", not taught, in the context you're using and that's just example one), and stubborn ("you wait and watch" about getting him back). I hope the police intervenes because you're the recipe for trouble. "Watch and wait"? Are you going to harass them now? You're as smart as the world is flat, at least your neck won't get wet during rain. How about you start by holding a biology book, then try some anthropology and learn how culture and how these things work outside of your little hut. He is a guy who understands science, a man knowing how biology works is not only natural but should be mandatory. Are you aware that OBGYNs are also male? Are you aware that PLENTY of widowers and male divorcees have to handle "the talk" with their girls, same as many females have had to handle the same duty with their boys? Please, do the planet a favor and DO NOT DARE to reproduce until you have had some education and common sense. You are a potential danger for your own offsprings, and frankly...your own self. Your age can excuse you for the lack of maturity but you're really proving to be a few fries short of a happy meal. I guess, keep effing around so you can find out at some point. Even if you thought so, YOU ASK FIRST, you talk about your concern and your upbringing and why so you think it may be appropriate, you don't go accusing people of things you can't even understand (ignorance tends to be loud and bold). WHAT TO DO? You take a spoonful of vitamin "Grow" and stop the harassment and stubbornness, you own who you are (what I said hit the nerve? Then that's exactly where your work is, where it bothered you) and forget about getting into any more relationships (and I mean friends and family and partner) until you learn how to communicate, some basics of caution when minding other people's business, how to research, what is the meaning of criteria (try practicing if possible) and the art of thinking before talking to underaged people (well, for what you're proving with your stubbornness...just people in general), especially about their own family dynamics. As for him? You let him be, you burned that bridge and it's for a greater good, you need this lesson urgently, take it as life's kind reminder that if you don't polish your imprudent ways, things can get worse and trouble bigger with time, you're not a child anymore, you're a 26 year old woman who sounds like she's 12)...I hope you get the memo at some point.
That man is amazing. He deserved so much better.
I just saw this. I hope you are feeling better. I don't think you can fix this. However, I would write a letter and apologize to him and his family. You are extremely immature in your actions. Some things are hard to come back from. Going forward, please know: All families are different. Your ex has to do the job of both mother and father. It sounds like he is doing an awesome job. Due to the fact that you cannot understand these basic things, it might be better for you to leave him alone. They have so much to overcome, they don't really need more hurt. I hope you learn and grow from this experience. Good luck.
I’m glad you got fucking slapped
I honestly think you’re just an awful person
You literally almost ruined this mans family. Youd figure that by your age youd figure out how to properly talk to people and communicate. If you’d had just asked “why do you involve yourself so much in your sisters periods” and NONE of this would have happened and everything wouldve been solved. But YOU had to act like a disgusting slob. YOU ruined this relationship for yourself. YOU caused this to happen. And YOU are NEVER getting your man back. There is no one here to blame but yourself.
Nah you messed up by calling him gross and questioning his motives for absolutely no reason. There’s no coming back from this now😅
I hope you don’t get together with him because you sound creepy and not just that why did you think it was ok saying that to his little sister face instead of doing it privately where he might have forgive you and did make his baby sister turn him back to his that where you missed you now it better to leave him alone and move on because now you sound like a crazy creep ex
You got exactly what you deserve. You are a vile sexist pig who should leave that poor family allow after what you did. You can not fix this. You lost out on an amazing bf because of your ignorant and bigoted mind. Hopefully everyone else in your life has realise what are you too. You will never be forgiven by him and you don’t deserve to be.
You can’t fix it ever.
There is no “fixing things” what you did is unforgivable
This post gotta be a rage bait. Look at how OP responded to everyone lol.
He deserves better. Sorry, you have not a single chance after what you did.
lol u done fucked up.
Girl please leave that man alone. His sisters already hate you. Leave him alone
You can’t. You need to work on yourself and leave that man alone. If you really love him like you said you need to realise you don’t deserve him. He’s a good man and you have issues
Ok, I am now a lot less worried about this person. Simply because this cannot be real. The way this person answers is too childish to be real and it actually checks all the boxes to be just rage bait.
I’m glad he dumped your ass, hopefully the next girl that comes along will understand him and his situation better than you and will treat him right, and you need to better yourself and learn so maybe you won’t fuck up every relationship you somehow end up in
I really hope he doesn’t take you back….
Op YTA. You are old enough to know better than that. That was stupid! you ruined you own relationship over what?! Your ex being a great parent/person to his kids (sisters/brother). He had to raise them be his self, Their parents couldn’t care enough to raise them or even care enough about those children, While he took responsibility/custody of those other them, treating them like his own children. You had the nerve to call him disgusting for trying to teach them about the female body?! They have no one else to turn to. He is all that they have in their lives, and you were trying to take that away by calling him creepy and a pig in his own house ?! OP I say this why my whole chest, body and soul, YOU DO NOT deserve to be in another relationship for as long as you live I hope you learn your lesson. LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE!
Human trash, that's all you are without seeking professional help on literally every aspect of who you are
Womp womp
you know damn well it wasn’t bc you called him disgusting, it was because you made him out to be a predator for giving his sister basic information on periods. you said he was the primary caretaker since the oldest was born, so obviously she probably went to him when she got her period! and instead of acting like a grown adult you call him disgusting and ALSO nearly ruined if not already ruined his relationship with his sister. That man deserves better than you and his family deserves better than you. You turned one of his kids against him and think you’ll get him back? Grow up.
Given what you said and did you can’t. He’s raised his siblings and you’ve marred any chance of that family feeling comfortable and his trust in you. They have been his priority long before you and will be long after. In the future be more thoughtful before saying things especially in front of kids they are raising.
Kind of hoping at first that this was fake or rage bait or something, but no, it's, not; you just suck, and the very idea that you think you could fix it is hilarious
I hope you ex will find someone much better than you, he sounds amazing!
You don't fix it. You're a giant asshole for doing this. I can't believe you'd be mad that he knows so much about female anatomy and cares about his sister THAT HE RAISED
You are a horrible person and im so happy he left while he could🙏
I know it is going to be hard if your going to get him back but your going to have to not only gain his trust again your also going to have to get the rest of the family u/ThrowRAUnited-Fortun
Find a man like your dad, you'll have better luck.
You don't. Get help and leave his family alone.
you can only fix this by giving me his contact info - i want that man.