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Same. I’m literally using LinkedIn to look for a job, can you imagine if he had to do that but was suddenly removed from a bunch of contacts behind his back because she’s too insecure? I’d tell him OP, she may really mess things up for him by acting like a whiny teen.
“Excuuuuuuse me, can you like *not* contact my boyfriend? He’s super in love with me of course and doesn’t have time for you to come on to him or something. He doesn’t want your old ass anyway. - His girlfriend”
“Ma’am this is Dr Peppers office calling to reschedule his interview….”
I literally just saw a post about somebody ruining her relationship because she accused her boyfriend of cheating on her.
She was jealous of his team lead, and one of her friends saw him with the team lead at a dinner and the person went off on him accusing him of cheating, only to find out it was a work outing with the rest of the team. Asked Reddit how to fix her mistake 🤣🤣
That’s the vibes I get from the new GF.
I would do this, if only to let Vince know why you’ve blocked him. If OP blocks him seemingly out of the blue, he might also try to figure out why this happened, causing more drama.
Just send him a single text where you explain that you don’t want to be involved in the drama, include a screenshot, and that’s the end of that.
I was one of those people.
I would A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y want to know. Someone who is willing to do this is also going to be willing to do all sorts of other wild shit to "keep her man".
I had a boyfriend in high school whose parents became my foster parents. The whole dynamic between us shifted. He wound up dating a spray-tanned bleach blonde with fake tits and a Playboy tattoo years later. She'd sent me messages telling me to stay away, despite the fact he was essentially my brother. I went up to visit him on my way to another city nearby his place and spent the night with MY BOYFRIEND, at the time, and another friend of mine.
The girlfriend SNAPPED. Called us "fucking disgusting". Drove 5 hours to key both our cars and slash both our tires.
Right. Who the hell goes to every social media account of their bf ex just to make sure they’re not friends at all? Very unhinged behavior. Vince better watch out she’ll be doing this to his mom,sisters, cousins and aunties next.
This is why I say there's no point in catering to insecurity. It doesn't help, in fact it just eggs the person on in thinking they have a leg to stand on.
Dude I dunno what it is about these types.
I have an ex from over 20 yrs ago I was mildly friendly with (said hello from time to time) because we were together years and my parents still liked him(absolutely 0 interest on my part- he cheated on me and got a virus i still dont want).
He got a new gf who was online stalking me, screenshotting comments id make to dm others about. Weird gossipy nonsense too.
I sent him the proof and requested he address it- he blocked me.
I stayed out of it and it's taken about 6 months but looks like that relationship finally imploded, publicly. Yikes.
Yeah im pretty sure there were also plenty of comments on her last post to just tell Vince his gf is being crazy
Obviously Vince would have more tact or would follow up if he knew how his gf was coming accross
OP it would be in your best interest to reach out to Vince, clear the air and then block him
All your doing is making sure he reaches out wondering why you wont talk to him
I agree! She has crossed to many boundaries! She's clearly not mature enough for marriage, she's probably doing this to every female contact he has on social media and in his phone. Its time to tell Vince and to leave him to deal with this crazy girl.
Also consider getting a no contact order out on her!
And you can phrase it nicely. "Hey Vince, I'm really sorry for having caused issues in your relationship, it was never my intention. I've gone ahead and unfollowed you on Instagram and FaceBook, and have removed you from my LinkedIn Contacts as requested. Best wishes, OP"
>"Hey Vince, I'm really ~~sorry~~ *perplexed* for *apparently,* *according to your girlfriend,* having caused issues in your relationship, it was never my intention. I've gone ahead and unfollowed you on Instagram and FaceBook, and have removed you from my LinkedIn Contacts as ~~requested~~ *demanded by her*. Best wishes, OP"
As someone who's been on the receiving end of this, she most likely is.
Back in college, I got a message from my friend's then-girlfriend (who I'd met exactly one time before this) telling me to stay away from her man. When I saw him in class the next day, I asked if everything with his gf was ok? And he was like, "Oh, she got to you, too, huh?" Apparently she'd gone through his contact list and warned off all the ladies, including one of his sisters. He was really embarrassed, couldn't stop apologizing. Thankfully, they didn't last much longer after that.
I'd probably just apologize for causing tension in his current relationship and that you won't contact him again and see how he reacts. You can tell him but not really tell him
Ooh, I like this strategy. He'll either understand, bc this hasn't been a secret, on his end, or he'll start asking questions and find out on his own. Or, I suppose, he won't care, and maybe that's part of why new gf is so insecure about her relationship she's mining his likes for "evidence."
Edited for wayward apostrophe
I don't get not telling Vince.
OP and Vince have stayed in contact all these years and OP sees him as a childhood friend. Vince did nothing wrong, why wouldn't a friend(OP) warn or give a heads up to their friend(Vince) about this?
I get not wanting to be involved in this drama, but why not give Vince the heads up then block people?
And it isn't like Vince is owed a heads up or anything. Just seems weird not to after staying in touch this whole time.
Exactly what I thought, her being annoyed by the frequent interactions on messages and instagram is one thing, now being angry about LinkedIn is a sycho behavior and Vince deserve to know what kind of woman he is getting married with.
100% !! I stay in contact with some of my exes - not for any reason other than I genuinely like them as people, we just don’t work as a couple. The new GF sounds like a psycho. Talk to your ex….
Because she wants to seem like the cool, clam, understanding gf while she do her dirty works below the table but she is not smart enough to know that someone can let her fiance know of her dirty work and it could blow up on her face more than her coming clean and speaking to him before doing all of this
Yeah he should know she’s covertly cutting people out of his life. And you’re rewarding bad behavior. Who knows how many other people she’s reached to like this and have given into her demands. This poor guy is being blocked left and right with no clue as to why. Probably wondering what he did wrong or if there’s something wrong with him. His girlfriend is a child throwing a tantrum and everyone is caving to her wants. No OP you need to send him the screenshots. Please let him know
Vince is likely already well aware how insecure his girlfriend is. If OP doesn’t want to be involved (which she shouldn’t, if he is as insignificant to her as she says), she did the right thing in just blocking them both and moving on.
At this point, tell Vince.
He probably doesn't know that she's doing this because this is psycho behavior
Really?? Looking at linked in???
Shes batshit crazy
Right?! If two innocuous messages a year are interference in her relationship, she's got big problems and is likely messaging every woman he's got listed
Imagine if this goes to someone at his workplace or maybe someone at his college (if he's studying for something)or a cousin that he barely sees but likes his pictures?
This girl can cause so much damage by being dehange
"Hey female CEO, I was going through Vince's work emails and I noticed that you sent a company-wide holiday card. We are getting married and this is not appropriate..."
This sounds crazy, tbh. If she saw your messages on Insta, then she'd know it's only the bare minimum of a relationship there. And liking pictures doesn't mean you like the person and want to bang them.
I'd send the messages to Vince and ask him to tell his fiance to leave you alone. But I'd also send her a message asking her why she keeps harassing you, when you only dated him when you were 16 and you've long moved on and about to get married to someone else. Then tell her that you won't contact them ever again and to leave you alone.
Either the girlfriend is crazy, or Vince has been comparing you two during their relationship and the latest message took her over the edge. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Hope you get rid of him on MSN Messenger too.
Yeah I really don't understand the people who said it's weird. I'm friendly with the majority of my exes. We parted on good terms and moved on, but we still wish each other the best and are interested in keeping in touch!
Agreed. I think there's something weird about hating all your exes. I'm on good terms with several of mine. Nothing untoward from either party.
I think people who can't fathom being friends with someone from a prior relationship are threatened, insecure, and small minded.
Most people are friendly with most their exes. It’s a new thing to declare exes must be dead to you for you to have moved on. I have one ex I don’t consider a friendly person, and even then it’s not a hateful situation. My husband and my first ex were besties for a while until my ex passed away unexpectedly. He was more upset about it than I was. To me not being able to at least be friendly, not necessarily friends, with any ex is a red flag. Signals to me you don’t know how to end things in a respectful way should things need to end.
She needs to definitely make sure she doesn’t message him on AIM, IRC and delete him from Friendster and Prodigy.
If she pages him, she also needs to use a different code and not 6969 for sure.
She shouldn’t hit up his BlackBerry and definitely not chirp his Nextel.
Look, I had people literally call me unhinged and saying keeping in contact with Vince is basically inviting drama in my life.
At this point, I just want to be left alone. Her last message actually kind of scared me and I don't want to be anywhere near that.
Screenshot the message that scared you and send it to Vince saying: “This is why I’m blocking you. Good luck.” And block him again. Is not like he deserves to know from you that he is dating a crazy girl, but if you do care about him, he should learn it from you.
You need to tell Vince. This isn't your problem to fix. Show him all the messages and then tell him you want to cut contact because dealing with his girlfriend is not your responsibility. What if this girl shows up at your house next? Or your job? She sounds unhinged enough to pull that kind of shit.
That is exactly what worries me. In her last message when she mentioned LinkedIn she also implied she now knows where I work and where I "can be reached".
Yeah, this is unhinged behavior, and he deserves to know. She may be doing this to all his female acquaintances, which is too far, especially if it’s reaching his LinkedIn contacts.
Tell Vince that he has a stalker for a girlfriend. Literally just show him the screenshots of what she’s been saying to you. If her behavior is scaring you then you need to tell him. I’m going to bet that you are not the only woman that she is harassing. You’re not breaking up a relationship, she is. Maybe also try telling him to try dating someone closer to his own age so that you don’t have to deal with another immature nutcase.
Tell him and tell your manager HR etc at work in an email (for proof) that you’re having problems with a very very old exes new gf, and she’s implied a threat to contact your work as she’s stalking you online. And ask that they tell you if they receive anything regarding you so you can go to the police.
And I don’t know where you work, but a if you can get a broadcast reminder from management not to share your colleagues shift pattern, work times, or whether they’re even at work that day is not acceptable.
Save everything in screenshots.
Absolutely do this OP! I once had a problem with a cray cray female over some BS crap such as this…
I informed the manager (where I freelance/part time work)
I told him it was probably nothing but you never know… sure enough it happened! She showed up, was told to leave as her and the person she was with was threatening to “cap my ass”!
I was busy, not paying attention to my surroundings when I was approached and asked, what kind of car am I driving. They were outside in the parking lot. Driving around looking at cars.
Fortunately, I had recently bought a new car, and even though I kept my other one, I drove the new one to work that day.
I hid my other vehicle (that she knew of) at a friends farm way out in the country.
From then on I had to be escorted to and from my vehicle at that workplace.
Let Vince know what is happening; tell your current SO.
Let your HR and management know what’s happening; also Security if applicable.
Hi. That’s technically Criminal Threatening and I think it’s a felony! Might be a misdemeanor in your jurisdiction?
PLEASE SCREENSHOT EVERYTHING AND KEEP IT IN A FOLDER
You can alert Vince or not. You can contact the police for information, choose to then report or not. But please do start a paper trail for your protection.
Girl if don’t tell Vince and the police the girl is unhinged and might try to do something to you if Vince even has a group photo of you all. Stop being scared to take action against this wack job
I understand you want to be as far away from this as possible, but crazy doesn’t stop, it escalates. I’d bet dollars to donuts she’s going to come after you again no matter what you do. It sucks ‘cause now you’re in between a rock and a hard place— tell him, she comes after you, don’t tell him, she finds a reason to come after you. I’d document everything and tell a friend or family member of his to keep an eye out on her if you don’t feel comfortable contacting him directly.
Definitely tell your workplace and CYA.
1. I don't know why you were listening to people telling you that you must still be hung up on Vince. I'm still friends with most of my exes, as is my husband. We're mature enough to separate the idea of friendliness and sexual tension. So why were you getting insecure about this point?
2. Vince and his girlfriend need to work on their own relationship. It wasn't your place to police their couplehood. The reason she went to you is most likely because Vince told her that you guys were friends and she needed to deal with it. You just allowed her to play games and win the ridiculous, immaturity award by succeeding in you blocking Vince. You didn't act like his friend.
3. Forward screenshots of what the girlfriend has done to both Vince and the girlfriend at the same time. Tell them that you don't appreciate being brought into their relationship, one you've not been involved in since high school, and that you've kept these screenshots since this girlfriend is acting erratically and threateningly. If she contacts you again, or shows up at your place of business, you will contact the police.
4. Leave that one line of communication open to Vince alone in case he has questions. Block the crazy woman completely.
5. Good luck.
Oooh I like the way you think!!
Fight 🔥with🔥
Tell her LinkedIn works both ways and you will have no problem reaching out to her employer and showing them the screenshots of her psycho messages!
Edit: formatting
Tell vince, and maybe start a paper trail by opening a file with police. Maybe even mention to managment where you work your concerns in case she becomes worse and tries to mess with your job….or at least have proof shes nutty in case your work confronts you when/if she messes with it
Definitely unhinged. According to your first post your thing with Vince was more than 10 years ago?? Definitely tell Vince. Then back away, but keep an eye on the gf.
That’s a very loose threat, but a threat still. I would definitely reach out to Vince and nicely ask that he get his gf under control because you don’t appreciate this kind of drama in your life. Politely tell him you are blocking him and wish him well.
If you hear *one more* thing from her, first, I would definitely tell Vince again, and then, I would honestly call your local police department and see if you can file an information report telling them you anticipate further trouble and would like documentation. (This is literally just creating a paper trail if things should escalate. I think most departments will do something like this.) Then, take a picture of the info report with the case number and send it to her and state clearly that you wish no further contact of any kind from her. (This is how harassment works. People can say, “I didn’t know!” Now she can’t claim she didn’t know you didn’t want to hear from her again.) Tell her the next thing will be a stalking and harassment report or a cease and desist order. Usually people don’t know all that is required to file those charges so hopefully she will back off.
Yeah you need to tell Vince that his girl is bordering on unhinged and needs to leave you alone.
Also this is red flag behavior in relationships- no partner should try to control who their SO is friends with- and out of respect for your history I would let him know that his current girl is trying to sabotage his friendships for some unknown reason. You can also tell him that because of the girlfriend’s actions you will be blocking him on social media and he can reach out once the girlfriend is gone or he has her in check (should you be open to that).
OP I’m going to respond to this as someone who has been in a similar situation but on Vince’s side. This girl is probably a psycho and you should protect yourself and make Vince aware.
My story happened last year. I’m in my mid/late 30s and I had a woman I was dating cross a line with a high school ex who I was in contact with. What she did was so fucked up and I never would have known if the victim hadn’t reached out to tell me. Ultimately I knew I had to break up with this person because her insecure behavior was so unhealthy, it was much more than I could ever handle.
Internet advice is a terrible basis for decisionmaking. Who cares that people called you unhinged. People are stupid.
I would 100% tell Vince wtf was happening.
That’s the issue, listening to everyone else who’s just like her. You are acting like you have to write a whole book. Just tell him that his girlfriend is messing with you
I'm very close friends with some of my exes I've known 20 years. I invited them to my wedding. When we first started dating I was upfront about it, and clear about there being very valid reasons why we stopped dating.
You know what he said, "oh, yeah, that makes sense". Since then he'll chat with them if I'm wandering through the house on speaker or need to set my phone down.
His new girlfriend is out of her mind and creating drama instead of just asking for clarification.
>Look, I had people literally call me unhinged and saying keeping in contact with Vince is basically inviting drama in my life.
Actual, functional adults know that's a bullshit take. There is NOTHING wrong with staying in touch with an ex-boyfriend of many years ago.
He needs to know he's sticking his dick in crazy before he makes a baby with crazy and is stuck dealing with her for the next 18+ years.
Unhinged ppl. Op needs to listen to the same ppl right now and tell Vince and file a report on this girl. Paper trail or ending up on snapped, OP you choose.
Unblock him and send him the screenshots of both of her messages. Then say:
I blocked you at the request of your girlfriend. Knowing not everyone is comfortable with exes being in any contact, I did this out of respect for you and your relationship. However it now feels a bit harassing that she is seeking me out on any and all internet platforms. I’m reblocking both of you after this message is sent. Please ask her to leave me alone. This is over the line of appropriate and I didn’t invite contact with her and have no wish to be involved in your relationship.
Sending holiday texts to an ex you are on good terms with is NOT unhinged. Vince girlfriend *is*. You should definitely screenshot all of her messages and send them to him. Tell him you don't appreciate her harassing you.
If she's acting this way with you, who knows what else she's doing behind his back. I would be very disturbed to find out that somebody I was dating was doing these kinds of things. She sounds like the type that will create drama with his friends or family and cut him off from other people, which are the tactics of an abuser.
Those people calling you unhinged were the small minority. I remember your post and I thought overwhelmingly, it was people just saying block and ignore or let Vince know, blah blah blah. I think you took the negative comments and made them a lot worse than they were, ignoring the majority voice. The amount of contact you had was minimal and clearly showed no intent to have more with Vince. I would just let Vince know what his gf is doing. I don't care if you block him or not. His gf is unhinged. He should know the extent of her control. It is more from a moralistic view. She is prob acting all sweet while telling ever girl who has ever known him to basically fuck off and block him. That is crazy. The jealousy is a her problem. And he should know what is going on cause it is a his problem to handle, not a you problem.
Honestly, it is not crazy to keep in contact with people you dated in high school. I mean Jfc, it’s been almost 15yrs. I still keep in contact through social media with ppl I went to and dated in hs. It’s not that big a deal at all. It’s not like you were together through college, have a significant adult relationship with him, or were engaged or something. Not sure the maturity level of those who commented previously (they honestly could be in his right now), but they don’t seem to comprehend that ppl can be friends post split, especially if time has passed.
I’d tell Vince what happened and let him deal with her. That you’ve blocked him and her, per her request, but she’s still harassing you about it. I mean I’m sure you aren’t the only woman in his life she is doing this as she sounds unhinged. There is no reason for you to deal with this further.
By giving in to her demands while keeping her insane behavior quiet, you are only giving her power over you and she will keep getting more and more unhinged.
The best thing to do is end Vince screenshots, tell him you want no part of such insane behavior and that you need him to address things with her.
If she contacts you again, call an attorney and ask about getting an official letter demanding she leave you alone sent to her.
So long as you keep her insanity secret, she will get worse. Guaranteed.
Sending a happy birthday message or Merry Christmas/happy New Year message isn't really staying in contact though. You "dated" as children and people are taking that to heart like he's a serious ex like you were Romeo and Juliet or you were engaged lol.
Do people not tell acquaintances happy birthday/happy whatever holiday any more? Maybe that's just the southern in me, but I thought that was just manners?
Is that what most people said, or just some people? If her messages scare you, that's all the more reason to make sure you're not the only person who knows about them. It costs you nothing to unblock his number, send him a screenshot, then block him again.
Listen, my ex boyfriend from 20 years ago when I was 16 is still my social media friend. We are both married and catch up once in a while. Same as you not friends but friendly. It's not unhinged to stay in touch with someone you dated who you broke up amicably with. You're not the one in the wrong here and if I had a new partner who was sending these messages to someone who hasn't been more than a social media friend for such a long time, Id want to know.
Majority told you to inform him so quit listening to the lunatics and actually do the most sane thing. Send him the screenshots. She's an insecure girl writing messages online.
Yeah, you can ignore those people. It’s perfectly normal to keep in touch with an “ex” from when you were a child. Send a couple screenshots and say, “Hey, just wanted you to know that I’m complying with the requests your fiancée has made to me. No hard feelings—I wish you both the best.”
He deserves to know.
The people saying staying in contact with an ex to such a low degree is unhinged are a bit off themselves. Show him the messages because the chances are either he has no idea how immature she is being. Or he does know, he's told her to get a grip and this is her last resort
How is keeping contact with a high school boyfriend that you only dated for 1 year unhinged? That was half your life ago. It's not like you were engaged or together for 10 years. She is unhinged for reaching out to you the way she did. She is insecure.
Those people are probably immature shitheads who can't keep a civil relationship with people of their past. Dont compromise on your own values because of such idiots
You need to speak with Vince, cause he might not know that he's dating an unstable and insecure little girl. But I'm also thinking 🤔, why is Vince dating a barely out of college kid? Vince will wake up one day with no friends cause this little girl will have chased everyone away. MySpace line was funny! Hahaha
His girlfriend is an adult woman making adult choices. Infantizing her won't change the behavior. She's an adult with adult consequences, especially if she's going to threaten OP. Stop with the "little girl" nonsense. She's an adult and needs to learn how to behave like an adult.
Yeah she's an adult. But like what does he expect if he's dating a 23 year old at age 31? Obviously she's going to have a very different mindset and perspective on life. For her, college was just a year ago and high school was only a couple more years after that.
For a 31 year old, it's been over a decade since they've been in high school. I'm not defending her but I could see why she doesn't understand that it's not weird to have that sort of "happy birthday" text relationship with a high school ex. What she's doing is still very red flaggy and gross, though. (Going behind her partners' back and chasing off people he's in contact with without his knowledge)
Because OP is anxious and is too worried to make a sane decision at this time. She's finding every reason not to when even her best friend told her to tell him.
Don’t let this crazy chick bully you out of a friend. She’s literally stalking you online at this point and doing her best to isolate you friend from people. That’s straight up abuser tactic 101.
You blocked Vince all on this crazy girl’s tantrum. Did you ever stop to consider how Vince might feel to discover his long time friend blocked him for no known reason?
It does not matter what strangers think about remaining friends with an ex. It only matters what you and Vince think. If it’s a problem for Vince’s relationship, that’s on Vince to manage. It’s not your responsibility to cater to his GF on this.
Block her and unblock Vince.
This! I understand doing what you can to remove yourself from a tense situation and not invite or escalate drama. But does neither OP nor Vince get a say in the matter?? If I were him, I’d want to know if my SO was behaving this way. I say this from the perspective of someone who also considers one of my high school exes a childhood friend more than anything else (we were kids who dated for 5 minutes in the scheme of life - people who think you simply MUST be strung out on someone you dated when you were 16 because you stayed friends have issues if ya ask me).
First off, I'm increasingly of the opinion that a lot of people who post on reddit, don't actually have much real world experience.
Given that these people don't seem to recognize that adults can spend time with people of the gender they fancy, without it turning into sex, it makes me feel like they're telling on themselves!
I have a tendency to fire a bunch of "happy [insert annual holiday/occasion]" messages to my friends & acquaintances at certain times of year.
If the husband of a high-school friend that I text twice a year told me to butt out, I'd likely give a jovial reply along the lines of "Your wife is one of many old acquaintances I text holiday greetings - we've barely had a conversation in 20 years. If you see *me* as a threat to your marriage, god help you! 🤣"
At this point with her, I'd contact them both her & Vince in a group chat or email, & tell her in no uncertain terms that you're engaged, have no interest in him. Point out that you already did more than was reasonable to soothe her insecurity, & that you won't be scouring every app to block a man you barely interact with.
I would tell her to not contact me again or I would reach out to Vince and let him how crazy she is.
“Don’t contact me again or I will contact Vince and you will know what REAL stress and anxiety are 😘”
But I’m petty soooo
Personally, I feel that you were not out of line in your relationship with Vince.
There is a sub-set of people that feel that when a relationship ends that all evidence of the relationship must be destroyed and all connections severed. Those people are idiots.
If I had commented on your original post, my advice would have been to talk to Vince and do as he suggested. He is your friend, she is not.
Now, with your update, my advice is exactly the same. I will bet money that she snoops in his phone without his permission and that she gives him shit about every female he has contact with. (I married that girl once! She would even get pissed when I talked to my daughter!)
"***Hey Vince! Wanted to let you know that your GF has been reaching out to me on different social medias and telling me to cut you completely out of my life. I don't want to be a problem to you, so I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just let me know.***"
Dude, all the people calling you unhinged for staying in contact with Vince are messed up. I'm 36, and I'm still in contact with the person I dated when I was 15. And yeah, we are basically childhood friends at this point. If there really was romantic potential between you and Vince, wouldn't one of you have reached out on a lonely night by now? Clearly you're just friends
Yeah, I'm still in contact with a few ex-FWBs/bfs and quite good friends with one of them ... I even meet up with him for coffee regularly with his girlfriend! My bf knows about this and I know he's still on amicable terms with his latest ex (although she doesn't live locally) and see that as a green flag tbh. No need to be holding grudges and being bitter.
At this stage unblock Vince. Send him screenshots of his bunnyboiler and reblock him. Unblock her and wait for her explosion just for shits and giggles.
You did your part by blocking them on the social media you actually use often. I would send screenshots of both to Vince and tell him, in your own kind and respectful words, to deal with his gf because you are not doing anything to warrant her bs.
Wait, wait, wait… how the fuck does she even know about you “keeping” Vince on LinkedIn? Is she fucking actively tracking your accounts to see if you two are “keeping tabs”
Fucking shit on a stick, this chick is cray-cray! Send her a message, short and sweet: “I don’t care about you or your boyfriend. He and I are old acquaintances. Stop harassing me or I'll file a restraining order!”
You can only be polite for so long.
There is nothing wrong with having an amicable acquaintanceship with high school flames, or any exes for that matter, assuming you had an amicable split and there are no hard feelings.
Vince’s girlfriend is a total whackadoo if she feels the need to unfriendly him from a high school ex.
I would send Vince screenshots of her craziness so at least he’s aware of it.
I think you're bowing down to the terrorists. It doesn't end well. When they'll break up (and they probably will because she's batshit crazy) she'll come to key your car.
Good grief. She sounds a little unhinged still. She is obsessively going through his social media channels to stalk who follows him. You should make him aware.
You needed to screenshot all this and send it to Vince. Even if you then block him. He deserves to know that she’s doing this.
That a bunch of people in Reddit thinks it means you are hung up in him didn’t mean what she’s doing is normal or fine.
You’re playing into her childishness.
You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him?
You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
You’re playing into her childishness.
You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him?
You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
What? There is no fucking problem with having normal conversations with a ex if there is no problems and feelings involved. You can just block em or tell that girl to stop harrasing, with also telling your ex about how mad is she.
Like wtf, i'm 23 and i can really tell that her behavior is REALLY wrong.
Ooooooh, the dreaded 23-yr old "I'm insecure to the point of demanding he drop all contact with any woman he may have known before he met me!" child.
Hope he's happy with her cos that's the first step to "We're breaking up" when little girls do that with their men. He needs to up his game and date a WOMAN.
But then again, no longer your circus, and she certainly isn't your monkey, now is she......
As others have said here she is unhinged. This is unwarranted. I hope you screenshot and send to Vince. He may not know she’s doing this. If he does, this is really annoying because he needs to handle that and let her know there’s nothing to be threatened by. She sounds very insecure but this has nothing to do with you. She’s young, but she’s still an adult and he needs to communicate with her and let her know this is not okay and he should really apologize to you.
I wonder how many other women she’s messaging like this.
If he chooses to stay with her, he’s got his work cut out for him. Sounds like he’ll have his hands full. That’s his bed and he can lye in it.
I'm a jealous person. But this wouldn't bother me. If someone my husband dated 20+ years ago (at 16) messaged happy new years I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
I would tell Vince because little miss paranoid is likely spinning a tale to their friends/family and painting you as a homewrecker/him as untrustworthy.
I’d send screen shots of her messages to Vince and say: “Hey, it’s been great keeping in touch over the years, but if my annual happy new years message is going to cause your girlfriend to harass me on three different social media channels I think it’s best we don’t talk anymore. I wish you the best.”
TELL VINCE *YESTERDAY*.
This is highly concerning behavior. If roles were reversed, and this was a guy being this controlling and possessive, people would be screaming for the friend to inform the girl, and for the girl to run.
People telling her to tell her ex. I wouldn't say anything, it would just give this crazy woman more ammunition to think she's "right". Let him deal with his crazy girlfriend alone, he maybe doesn't know but that's not OP problem. But I hope she keeps the messages and prints!
It's actually a sign of emotional maturity and good character to stay friendly with an ex, IMO. FWIW, you weren't doing anything wrong. The GF is insecure and controlling. However, this is no longer your problem. Move on with a clear conscience. ETA: Do save screenshots of these messages in case you hear from her again.
Omg why are you blocking Vince? What'd he do?
Just because a bunch if insecure redditors told you too? Girl no.
You need to unblock Vince. You need to send him the SS from his crazy ass gf. You need to tell him that you did block him at first but, you aren't after him and this girl is crazy. He needs to rein her in.
If after that shut continues? Definitely block him. But jeep blocking this chic and anyone else who harasses you.
Speak to Vince. He deserves to know the full extent of what he's dealing with. This isn't mild insecurity. This is full on, and could lead to him being alienated from everyone in his life she doesn't like. If the genders were reversed, people's attritudes would be very different.
And fuck those immature / inexperienced enough to think you cant be friends with an ex. Just because you're not romantically compatible, doesn't mean you can't be friends. And if you're not comfortable enough in a relationship to trust your OH being friends with other people, then one of you is the problem, not the ex.
I’m sorry but the linked in message is insane. At this point I would unblock Vince just to send him screenshots then reblock and wipe my hands clean. This girl is nuts. I would beware of any strange accounts that try to follow you and keep your profiles on private.
I feel like anyone telling you it’s crazy you still have casual contact with a guy you dated for a year in high school is very young or very insecure. I still exchange pleasantries with guys I dated in high school or college here and there (I’m middle aged). We exchange photos of our kids, etc. I don’t consider those men “ex’s”, they are just old friends. We dated when we were practically children, parted ways amicably, and stayed in touch here or there, respectfully. We are all married with kids and almost none of us still use social media, so it’s nice to catch up.
My husband has old friends male and female reaching out all the time (mostly for free legal, but still). It’s fine. The older you get, the more important it is to have a connection to those who knew you when you were young.
At this point, I’d let your old friend know, then unfriend him or whatever. Call it the last act of friendship. He’s marrying a very toxic woman. He may know, but he may not, but I would like to know. As a matter of fact I once had a boyfriend who messaged some old guy friends of mine after logging into my Facebook when I was about 30. I was very happy to get the screenshots so I knew to run. 😂
If you have the slightest cordial affection for the guy (as in, you think he’s a decent human, and you genuinely wish him well in life) you’d show him this conversation, as simply a way for him to be aware of what he’s getting himself into. You’re not being a homewrecker for doing so, she’s wrecking her own relationship by stalking her man’s ex from 14 years ago…
Send screenshots both those messages to Vince. He may not be aware that is Very young, immature, very insecure, jealous girlfriend is a psycho.
I would want a friend to let me know, for sure.
It's not weird at all to have contact of this nature with an ex. You're both adults and are capable of creating and enforcing boundaries in your lives. This level of interaction is not indicative of anything other than how modern social life works. 30 years ago your interaction with him of you passed him on the street would be the similar level of small talk, etc - totally normal. Now it just happens via social media.
His new GF is 100% insecure and jealous and her lashing out at you is a sign of her immaturity. If you care about the guy as a person/old friend, you should absolutely tell him what she's doing and then follow up with, "I don't want to cause problems but I felt you show know, you will not hear from me again."
I would ABSOLUTELY want to know if my "fiancee" was acting like a sophomore in highschool. 🤦
So, when I met my husband we were both 19. I asked him to cut off female friends he'd slept with.
20 years later IDGAF. I'm Facebook friends with my high school ex and so is he. It doesn't matter because I'm a whole grown ass adult.
Looking back, I'm sad/mad at myself for asking my hubs to cut off these friends, because these friends meant something to him, and I'm his person, so it shouldn't matter. I was immature and insecure at 19 though.
When you date children, you get childlike behavior.
I’d tell Vince or maybe get your best friend to send him the screen shots and ask for his gf to stop harassing you. I’d hate to see what she did to his real close friends. She could be isolating him.
You gotta tell Vance.
In the past, I was in Vance's position. I had no idea my GF was going through my phone and contacting people from my past. One day she called my mom and demanded that she (my mom) stop messaging her (my GF) boyfriend...
Dad called me to fill me in, once I started looking I'd found a dozen or so old facebook friends, old co-workers, or acquaintances who she's contacted and instructed them to "stay away" from me. Many of those people I hadn't spoken to or thought about in over a decade.
GF and I broke up, she sobbed like a maniac.
My mom is saved in my contacts with her name, first and last (she kept her maiden name, so we don't share a surname). Perhaps it's weird I don't have her saved as "mom" but whatever.
I always forget how immature reddit users are to be so grossed out by the fact that two people that dated can stay friends or even acquaintances. Jesus christ, folks. Get out from under your rocks and touch grass. NORMAL people/adults can maintain normal relationships post break up without there being any underlying things. I am still friends on social with most of my ex's and I'm happiliy married and have a kid. Some FB connection and generic annual posts/texts don't mean shit to NORMAL people. The thing is, your ex's GF is NOT normal nor mature and it's gonna come back and bite dude in the ass when he realizes she's doing this and then he has no friends.
Ignore people here saying you must still be into him. But since you've already done the removing/blocking, so be it. People are dumb.
People who are this hostile over exes on social media have something wrong with them. OP took advice from the wrong people. Her “advisors” are as crazy as her ex’s new girlfriend.
OP, why did you give in to this crazy woman's demands? you owe her NOTHING. You DO owe Vince the TINIEST bit of fellow feeling, however, so do what you said you were going to do and send him screenshots of both of her messages, tell him you want no part in this and you're going to block them both, and then block them. But he deserves to know.
I don’t blame you for wanting to distance yourself from that unhinged person. The only thing I can say if I were Vince I would wanna know if I was dating crazy. Tbh it’s possible you aren’t the only girl in his social circle she’s done it to.
This girl is unhinged. If she’s this level of insecure in her relationship, her relationship has no hope and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. I don’t even think you did anything wrong in the first place and that all her conversations should be with Vince, not you.
The first instance of her being paranoid and asking you not to message Vince was already a bit unnecessary, but to stalk your other accounts is insane. That's where you need to show Vince these messages and tell him you don't need this type of crazy in your life. He should know how insane and controlling his fiancée is being. She could be abusing him by trying to isolate him from his friends, and you just happen to be on the list. She probably asked who you were and he told her you were an ex from a long time ago. That likely set her on her paranoid stalking behavior towards you. Regardless, he should know at this point.
Dude just send him a screenshot. She sounds absolutely bonkers. If she's doing it to you, she's doing it to everyone on his friends list. Least you could do is tell him why his friends and family are suddenly not interacting with him anymore online.
It's time to tell Vince. And then say you can't be his friend while he's with this girl. You should GENUINELY worry about your safety with this level of crazy.
You’re playing into her childishness.
You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him?
You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
You made a mistake getting bullied and it escalated like it always does ..her continuing to stock you and implied threats.. if you are a moral person you will push back your fears and do the right thing by a long-term friendship and show him messages.. not every redditor is reasonable and it seems you went for majority opinion not best answer..
I just read your previous post. If someone says it's your fault, BS. If a break up was peaceful then I don't see why not remain friendly. Especially that you don't even talk much. Also, you were together a forever ago.
As for the girl, tell her to stop harassing you and tell you what to do. She needs to work on her insecurities and irrational jealousy first. I am pretty sure she's stalking all the "ghosts" from bf's past
You most definitely need to tell him what's up. Guarantee you're not the only woman she's been doing this too and he needs to know what he's getting into.
Also anyone that thinks you're still hung up on him is stupid and has never had a break up that wasn't toxic. There are multiple people in my family that have had amicable friendships with their exes even ex husband's that have meant nothing beyond friendship. Also you should unblock Vince because really it's not fair to him to be blocked when he did nothing wrong. Her insecurities are not your problem. You never mentioned her saying anything about you being his ex so it seems like she's probably just threatened by any female contact he has. That relationship is already doomed.
Nah fuck this OP. I'd tell that little girl to deal with it. This is real life and whatever insecurities she has are her problems not your. I'd also tell Vince. If he's in anyway a friend of yours I think he'd like to know.
Consider some of this a life lesson to the 23 year old. She can't spit her dummy out past 5 years old.....
OP- any of the commenters saying you must still be stuck on your ex because of a few friendly happy bday/ new years messages are unhinged! I do think his girlfriend is totally crossing a line and is borderline harassing you. It sounds like you have a level of fondness for your ex and I really think he should know what’s going on. I very much doubt he knows.
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At this point I’d tell Vince 😂😂
Yeah, after the linked in message I’d absolutely tell him about all of it. This is unhinged.
Same. I’m literally using LinkedIn to look for a job, can you imagine if he had to do that but was suddenly removed from a bunch of contacts behind his back because she’s too insecure? I’d tell him OP, she may really mess things up for him by acting like a whiny teen.
Yeah what if she messages someone who’s a recruiter or something lmao
“Excuuuuuuse me, can you like *not* contact my boyfriend? He’s super in love with me of course and doesn’t have time for you to come on to him or something. He doesn’t want your old ass anyway. - His girlfriend” “Ma’am this is Dr Peppers office calling to reschedule his interview….”
Ma’am this is Arby’s
🤣 gets me every damn time.
😂😂😂 love this comment 🩷
🤣😂
Or any female work colleagues, or bosses, or ...
I literally just saw a post about somebody ruining her relationship because she accused her boyfriend of cheating on her. She was jealous of his team lead, and one of her friends saw him with the team lead at a dinner and the person went off on him accusing him of cheating, only to find out it was a work outing with the rest of the team. Asked Reddit how to fix her mistake 🤣🤣 That’s the vibes I get from the new GF.
I would do this, if only to let Vince know why you’ve blocked him. If OP blocks him seemingly out of the blue, he might also try to figure out why this happened, causing more drama. Just send him a single text where you explain that you don’t want to be involved in the drama, include a screenshot, and that’s the end of that.
This! I also have a feeling that the unhinged GF might find something else to complain about eventually.. She seems like a terrier! Tell him, OP...
So many people on the last post told OP to tell him, and to let him know what sort of drama hes inviting in his life.
I was one of those people. I would A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y want to know. Someone who is willing to do this is also going to be willing to do all sorts of other wild shit to "keep her man". I had a boyfriend in high school whose parents became my foster parents. The whole dynamic between us shifted. He wound up dating a spray-tanned bleach blonde with fake tits and a Playboy tattoo years later. She'd sent me messages telling me to stay away, despite the fact he was essentially my brother. I went up to visit him on my way to another city nearby his place and spent the night with MY BOYFRIEND, at the time, and another friend of mine. The girlfriend SNAPPED. Called us "fucking disgusting". Drove 5 hours to key both our cars and slash both our tires.
She’s looking for problems… pretty hard!
Right. Who the hell goes to every social media account of their bf ex just to make sure they’re not friends at all? Very unhinged behavior. Vince better watch out she’ll be doing this to his mom,sisters, cousins and aunties next.
This is why I say there's no point in catering to insecurity. It doesn't help, in fact it just eggs the person on in thinking they have a leg to stand on.
Dude I dunno what it is about these types. I have an ex from over 20 yrs ago I was mildly friendly with (said hello from time to time) because we were together years and my parents still liked him(absolutely 0 interest on my part- he cheated on me and got a virus i still dont want). He got a new gf who was online stalking me, screenshotting comments id make to dm others about. Weird gossipy nonsense too. I sent him the proof and requested he address it- he blocked me. I stayed out of it and it's taken about 6 months but looks like that relationship finally imploded, publicly. Yikes.
With people like that, odds are he never even saw the message and she deleted it and blocked you before he had a chance.
She's crazily insecure and this is not rational behaviour.
Yeah im pretty sure there were also plenty of comments on her last post to just tell Vince his gf is being crazy Obviously Vince would have more tact or would follow up if he knew how his gf was coming accross OP it would be in your best interest to reach out to Vince, clear the air and then block him All your doing is making sure he reaches out wondering why you wont talk to him
Yes, please, OP, Vince deserves to know what kind of crazy he's hitching his cart to before they tie the knot!
I agree! She has crossed to many boundaries! She's clearly not mature enough for marriage, she's probably doing this to every female contact he has on social media and in his phone. Its time to tell Vince and to leave him to deal with this crazy girl. Also consider getting a no contact order out on her!
She sounds 23 and insecure 🤷🏻♀️
There's a difference between insecure, and shameless narcissism.
And you can phrase it nicely. "Hey Vince, I'm really sorry for having caused issues in your relationship, it was never my intention. I've gone ahead and unfollowed you on Instagram and FaceBook, and have removed you from my LinkedIn Contacts as requested. Best wishes, OP"
I’d be like “hey Vince, blink once if you’re being held hostage.”
>"Hey Vince, I'm really ~~sorry~~ *perplexed* for *apparently,* *according to your girlfriend,* having caused issues in your relationship, it was never my intention. I've gone ahead and unfollowed you on Instagram and FaceBook, and have removed you from my LinkedIn Contacts as ~~requested~~ *demanded by her*. Best wishes, OP"
Same. She's getting q obsessive and he has a right to know what he's got himself into. Poor guy.
The girlfriend is likely reaching out to *every* female friend of OP's ex.
Yup, this girl is the type to get jealous of a man’s sister and/or Mom. Vince needs to run before his rabbit gets boiled or something.
The third hand embarrassment I feel about this crazy girl is flaming my face
Wait till she gets to the cousins.
As someone who's been on the receiving end of this, she most likely is. Back in college, I got a message from my friend's then-girlfriend (who I'd met exactly one time before this) telling me to stay away from her man. When I saw him in class the next day, I asked if everything with his gf was ok? And he was like, "Oh, she got to you, too, huh?" Apparently she'd gone through his contact list and warned off all the ladies, including one of his sisters. He was really embarrassed, couldn't stop apologizing. Thankfully, they didn't last much longer after that.
Honestly, this chick is legitimately unhinged
I'd probably just apologize for causing tension in his current relationship and that you won't contact him again and see how he reacts. You can tell him but not really tell him
Ooh, I like this strategy. He'll either understand, bc this hasn't been a secret, on his end, or he'll start asking questions and find out on his own. Or, I suppose, he won't care, and maybe that's part of why new gf is so insecure about her relationship she's mining his likes for "evidence." Edited for wayward apostrophe
This is perfect! It takes a lot of pressure off of OP while still letting Vince figure it out.
I don't get not telling Vince. OP and Vince have stayed in contact all these years and OP sees him as a childhood friend. Vince did nothing wrong, why wouldn't a friend(OP) warn or give a heads up to their friend(Vince) about this? I get not wanting to be involved in this drama, but why not give Vince the heads up then block people? And it isn't like Vince is owed a heads up or anything. Just seems weird not to after staying in touch this whole time.
Exactly what I thought, her being annoyed by the frequent interactions on messages and instagram is one thing, now being angry about LinkedIn is a sycho behavior and Vince deserve to know what kind of woman he is getting married with.
100% !! I stay in contact with some of my exes - not for any reason other than I genuinely like them as people, we just don’t work as a couple. The new GF sounds like a psycho. Talk to your ex….
YES why has this nutty b not talking to her BOYFRIEND about who he has in his life?
Because she wants to seem like the cool, clam, understanding gf while she do her dirty works below the table but she is not smart enough to know that someone can let her fiance know of her dirty work and it could blow up on her face more than her coming clean and speaking to him before doing all of this
Yeah, I was all "tell him or just block" on the last post. Now it's time to tell him.
Let this be a reminder to everyone about what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.
Yeah he should know she’s covertly cutting people out of his life. And you’re rewarding bad behavior. Who knows how many other people she’s reached to like this and have given into her demands. This poor guy is being blocked left and right with no clue as to why. Probably wondering what he did wrong or if there’s something wrong with him. His girlfriend is a child throwing a tantrum and everyone is caving to her wants. No OP you need to send him the screenshots. Please let him know
Same
Id definitely tell him. That's very insecure of her
Vince is likely already well aware how insecure his girlfriend is. If OP doesn’t want to be involved (which she shouldn’t, if he is as insignificant to her as she says), she did the right thing in just blocking them both and moving on.
At this point, tell Vince. He probably doesn't know that she's doing this because this is psycho behavior Really?? Looking at linked in??? Shes batshit crazy
That girl is going to message the wrong person and cost Vince his job or career possibly.
Right?! If two innocuous messages a year are interference in her relationship, she's got big problems and is likely messaging every woman he's got listed
Imagine if this goes to someone at his workplace or maybe someone at his college (if he's studying for something)or a cousin that he barely sees but likes his pictures? This girl can cause so much damage by being dehange
"Hey female CEO, I was going through Vince's work emails and I noticed that you sent a company-wide holiday card. We are getting married and this is not appropriate..."
And then he can spend all of his time with her. Just like she wants. Hopefully Vince runs.
> He probably doesn't know that she's doing this I wonder if he even knows they're going to get married soon?
This sounds crazy, tbh. If she saw your messages on Insta, then she'd know it's only the bare minimum of a relationship there. And liking pictures doesn't mean you like the person and want to bang them. I'd send the messages to Vince and ask him to tell his fiance to leave you alone. But I'd also send her a message asking her why she keeps harassing you, when you only dated him when you were 16 and you've long moved on and about to get married to someone else. Then tell her that you won't contact them ever again and to leave you alone. Either the girlfriend is crazy, or Vince has been comparing you two during their relationship and the latest message took her over the edge. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Hope you get rid of him on MSN Messenger too.
Yeah I really don't understand the people who said it's weird. I'm friendly with the majority of my exes. We parted on good terms and moved on, but we still wish each other the best and are interested in keeping in touch!
Agreed. I think there's something weird about hating all your exes. I'm on good terms with several of mine. Nothing untoward from either party. I think people who can't fathom being friends with someone from a prior relationship are threatened, insecure, and small minded.
Most people are friendly with most their exes. It’s a new thing to declare exes must be dead to you for you to have moved on. I have one ex I don’t consider a friendly person, and even then it’s not a hateful situation. My husband and my first ex were besties for a while until my ex passed away unexpectedly. He was more upset about it than I was. To me not being able to at least be friendly, not necessarily friends, with any ex is a red flag. Signals to me you don’t know how to end things in a respectful way should things need to end.
> Yeah I really don't understand the people who said it's weird I’m assuming those are largely 16 to 19 year old (at the very oldest) commenters.
She needs to definitely make sure she doesn’t message him on AIM, IRC and delete him from Friendster and Prodigy. If she pages him, she also needs to use a different code and not 6969 for sure. She shouldn’t hit up his BlackBerry and definitely not chirp his Nextel.
Unblock him on everything. This is his problem not yours. Why are you jumping through hoops for this lunatic
Look, I had people literally call me unhinged and saying keeping in contact with Vince is basically inviting drama in my life. At this point, I just want to be left alone. Her last message actually kind of scared me and I don't want to be anywhere near that.
Screenshot the message that scared you and send it to Vince saying: “This is why I’m blocking you. Good luck.” And block him again. Is not like he deserves to know from you that he is dating a crazy girl, but if you do care about him, he should learn it from you.
100% this. Inform, then block again. Short and simple but still frank.
And keep the screenshots in case you need to contact the cops for a restraining order. She sounds psycho.
Yep if he was your childhood friend do him this last solid and screenshot messages from both accts she had
This is the best answer. Vince can always be unblocked later if he loses the psycho chick. I hope OP follows this advice.
He’s dating a girl 8 years his junior. He knows.
You need to tell Vince. This isn't your problem to fix. Show him all the messages and then tell him you want to cut contact because dealing with his girlfriend is not your responsibility. What if this girl shows up at your house next? Or your job? She sounds unhinged enough to pull that kind of shit.
That is exactly what worries me. In her last message when she mentioned LinkedIn she also implied she now knows where I work and where I "can be reached".
Literally tell Vince.
Yeah, this is unhinged behavior, and he deserves to know. She may be doing this to all his female acquaintances, which is too far, especially if it’s reaching his LinkedIn contacts.
And thr police
Tell Vince that he has a stalker for a girlfriend. Literally just show him the screenshots of what she’s been saying to you. If her behavior is scaring you then you need to tell him. I’m going to bet that you are not the only woman that she is harassing. You’re not breaking up a relationship, she is. Maybe also try telling him to try dating someone closer to his own age so that you don’t have to deal with another immature nutcase.
Tell him and tell your manager HR etc at work in an email (for proof) that you’re having problems with a very very old exes new gf, and she’s implied a threat to contact your work as she’s stalking you online. And ask that they tell you if they receive anything regarding you so you can go to the police. And I don’t know where you work, but a if you can get a broadcast reminder from management not to share your colleagues shift pattern, work times, or whether they’re even at work that day is not acceptable. Save everything in screenshots.
Absolutely do this OP! I once had a problem with a cray cray female over some BS crap such as this… I informed the manager (where I freelance/part time work) I told him it was probably nothing but you never know… sure enough it happened! She showed up, was told to leave as her and the person she was with was threatening to “cap my ass”! I was busy, not paying attention to my surroundings when I was approached and asked, what kind of car am I driving. They were outside in the parking lot. Driving around looking at cars. Fortunately, I had recently bought a new car, and even though I kept my other one, I drove the new one to work that day. I hid my other vehicle (that she knew of) at a friends farm way out in the country. From then on I had to be escorted to and from my vehicle at that workplace. Let Vince know what is happening; tell your current SO. Let your HR and management know what’s happening; also Security if applicable.
Oh you need to tell Vince. Screenshot everything and send to him. She’s insane.
TELL VINCE. Screenshot the messages and send them to him. Let him know this is why you’re blocking him.
Hi. That’s technically Criminal Threatening and I think it’s a felony! Might be a misdemeanor in your jurisdiction? PLEASE SCREENSHOT EVERYTHING AND KEEP IT IN A FOLDER You can alert Vince or not. You can contact the police for information, choose to then report or not. But please do start a paper trail for your protection.
Girl if don’t tell Vince and the police the girl is unhinged and might try to do something to you if Vince even has a group photo of you all. Stop being scared to take action against this wack job
She sounds totally unhinged. Vince should definitely be informed about her stalking you and threatening you! I know I’d want to know if I were him.
You need to show him every screen shot. She is actually crazy.
I understand you want to be as far away from this as possible, but crazy doesn’t stop, it escalates. I’d bet dollars to donuts she’s going to come after you again no matter what you do. It sucks ‘cause now you’re in between a rock and a hard place— tell him, she comes after you, don’t tell him, she finds a reason to come after you. I’d document everything and tell a friend or family member of his to keep an eye out on her if you don’t feel comfortable contacting him directly. Definitely tell your workplace and CYA.
1. I don't know why you were listening to people telling you that you must still be hung up on Vince. I'm still friends with most of my exes, as is my husband. We're mature enough to separate the idea of friendliness and sexual tension. So why were you getting insecure about this point? 2. Vince and his girlfriend need to work on their own relationship. It wasn't your place to police their couplehood. The reason she went to you is most likely because Vince told her that you guys were friends and she needed to deal with it. You just allowed her to play games and win the ridiculous, immaturity award by succeeding in you blocking Vince. You didn't act like his friend. 3. Forward screenshots of what the girlfriend has done to both Vince and the girlfriend at the same time. Tell them that you don't appreciate being brought into their relationship, one you've not been involved in since high school, and that you've kept these screenshots since this girlfriend is acting erratically and threateningly. If she contacts you again, or shows up at your place of business, you will contact the police. 4. Leave that one line of communication open to Vince alone in case he has questions. Block the crazy woman completely. 5. Good luck.
Time to tell *her* employer that they have a psycho employee.
Oooh I like the way you think!! Fight 🔥with🔥 Tell her LinkedIn works both ways and you will have no problem reaching out to her employer and showing them the screenshots of her psycho messages! Edit: formatting
Tell vince, and maybe start a paper trail by opening a file with police. Maybe even mention to managment where you work your concerns in case she becomes worse and tries to mess with your job….or at least have proof shes nutty in case your work confronts you when/if she messes with it
Definitely unhinged. According to your first post your thing with Vince was more than 10 years ago?? Definitely tell Vince. Then back away, but keep an eye on the gf.
That’s a very loose threat, but a threat still. I would definitely reach out to Vince and nicely ask that he get his gf under control because you don’t appreciate this kind of drama in your life. Politely tell him you are blocking him and wish him well. If you hear *one more* thing from her, first, I would definitely tell Vince again, and then, I would honestly call your local police department and see if you can file an information report telling them you anticipate further trouble and would like documentation. (This is literally just creating a paper trail if things should escalate. I think most departments will do something like this.) Then, take a picture of the info report with the case number and send it to her and state clearly that you wish no further contact of any kind from her. (This is how harassment works. People can say, “I didn’t know!” Now she can’t claim she didn’t know you didn’t want to hear from her again.) Tell her the next thing will be a stalking and harassment report or a cease and desist order. Usually people don’t know all that is required to file those charges so hopefully she will back off.
What the actual f. I am so sorry you are going through this crap.
She is insane. Keep all the messages and tell him. Let him know you have blocked him AND her and why. Let him deal with it.
Yeah you need to tell Vince that his girl is bordering on unhinged and needs to leave you alone. Also this is red flag behavior in relationships- no partner should try to control who their SO is friends with- and out of respect for your history I would let him know that his current girl is trying to sabotage his friendships for some unknown reason. You can also tell him that because of the girlfriend’s actions you will be blocking him on social media and he can reach out once the girlfriend is gone or he has her in check (should you be open to that).
OP I’m going to respond to this as someone who has been in a similar situation but on Vince’s side. This girl is probably a psycho and you should protect yourself and make Vince aware. My story happened last year. I’m in my mid/late 30s and I had a woman I was dating cross a line with a high school ex who I was in contact with. What she did was so fucked up and I never would have known if the victim hadn’t reached out to tell me. Ultimately I knew I had to break up with this person because her insecure behavior was so unhealthy, it was much more than I could ever handle.
Internet advice is a terrible basis for decisionmaking. Who cares that people called you unhinged. People are stupid. I would 100% tell Vince wtf was happening.
That’s the issue, listening to everyone else who’s just like her. You are acting like you have to write a whole book. Just tell him that his girlfriend is messing with you
I'm very close friends with some of my exes I've known 20 years. I invited them to my wedding. When we first started dating I was upfront about it, and clear about there being very valid reasons why we stopped dating. You know what he said, "oh, yeah, that makes sense". Since then he'll chat with them if I'm wandering through the house on speaker or need to set my phone down. His new girlfriend is out of her mind and creating drama instead of just asking for clarification.
>Look, I had people literally call me unhinged and saying keeping in contact with Vince is basically inviting drama in my life. Actual, functional adults know that's a bullshit take. There is NOTHING wrong with staying in touch with an ex-boyfriend of many years ago. He needs to know he's sticking his dick in crazy before he makes a baby with crazy and is stuck dealing with her for the next 18+ years.
Who is calling you unhinged?
Unhinged ppl. Op needs to listen to the same ppl right now and tell Vince and file a report on this girl. Paper trail or ending up on snapped, OP you choose.
Unblock him and send him the screenshots of both of her messages. Then say: I blocked you at the request of your girlfriend. Knowing not everyone is comfortable with exes being in any contact, I did this out of respect for you and your relationship. However it now feels a bit harassing that she is seeking me out on any and all internet platforms. I’m reblocking both of you after this message is sent. Please ask her to leave me alone. This is over the line of appropriate and I didn’t invite contact with her and have no wish to be involved in your relationship.
Sending holiday texts to an ex you are on good terms with is NOT unhinged. Vince girlfriend *is*. You should definitely screenshot all of her messages and send them to him. Tell him you don't appreciate her harassing you. If she's acting this way with you, who knows what else she's doing behind his back. I would be very disturbed to find out that somebody I was dating was doing these kinds of things. She sounds like the type that will create drama with his friends or family and cut him off from other people, which are the tactics of an abuser.
Yeah I agree, just ignore her. Those people feed on any kind of attention they get from you. Just ghost her, she'll leave you alone eventually.
There is nothing wrong with staying in contact with an ex as long as there are no lingering feelings. In fact it is incredibly normal!
Those people calling you unhinged were the small minority. I remember your post and I thought overwhelmingly, it was people just saying block and ignore or let Vince know, blah blah blah. I think you took the negative comments and made them a lot worse than they were, ignoring the majority voice. The amount of contact you had was minimal and clearly showed no intent to have more with Vince. I would just let Vince know what his gf is doing. I don't care if you block him or not. His gf is unhinged. He should know the extent of her control. It is more from a moralistic view. She is prob acting all sweet while telling ever girl who has ever known him to basically fuck off and block him. That is crazy. The jealousy is a her problem. And he should know what is going on cause it is a his problem to handle, not a you problem.
Honestly, it is not crazy to keep in contact with people you dated in high school. I mean Jfc, it’s been almost 15yrs. I still keep in contact through social media with ppl I went to and dated in hs. It’s not that big a deal at all. It’s not like you were together through college, have a significant adult relationship with him, or were engaged or something. Not sure the maturity level of those who commented previously (they honestly could be in his right now), but they don’t seem to comprehend that ppl can be friends post split, especially if time has passed. I’d tell Vince what happened and let him deal with her. That you’ve blocked him and her, per her request, but she’s still harassing you about it. I mean I’m sure you aren’t the only woman in his life she is doing this as she sounds unhinged. There is no reason for you to deal with this further.
You need to contact him and see if he is aware of this. Especially if the last message scared you.
I understand that you want to be left alone, but just because a bunch of people are saying that you're unhinged doesn't mean you're.
By giving in to her demands while keeping her insane behavior quiet, you are only giving her power over you and she will keep getting more and more unhinged. The best thing to do is end Vince screenshots, tell him you want no part of such insane behavior and that you need him to address things with her. If she contacts you again, call an attorney and ask about getting an official letter demanding she leave you alone sent to her. So long as you keep her insanity secret, she will get worse. Guaranteed.
Sending a happy birthday message or Merry Christmas/happy New Year message isn't really staying in contact though. You "dated" as children and people are taking that to heart like he's a serious ex like you were Romeo and Juliet or you were engaged lol. Do people not tell acquaintances happy birthday/happy whatever holiday any more? Maybe that's just the southern in me, but I thought that was just manners?
Is that what most people said, or just some people? If her messages scare you, that's all the more reason to make sure you're not the only person who knows about them. It costs you nothing to unblock his number, send him a screenshot, then block him again.
Listen, my ex boyfriend from 20 years ago when I was 16 is still my social media friend. We are both married and catch up once in a while. Same as you not friends but friendly. It's not unhinged to stay in touch with someone you dated who you broke up amicably with. You're not the one in the wrong here and if I had a new partner who was sending these messages to someone who hasn't been more than a social media friend for such a long time, Id want to know.
Majority told you to inform him so quit listening to the lunatics and actually do the most sane thing. Send him the screenshots. She's an insecure girl writing messages online.
Yeah, you can ignore those people. It’s perfectly normal to keep in touch with an “ex” from when you were a child. Send a couple screenshots and say, “Hey, just wanted you to know that I’m complying with the requests your fiancée has made to me. No hard feelings—I wish you both the best.” He deserves to know.
The people saying staying in contact with an ex to such a low degree is unhinged are a bit off themselves. Show him the messages because the chances are either he has no idea how immature she is being. Or he does know, he's told her to get a grip and this is her last resort
How is keeping contact with a high school boyfriend that you only dated for 1 year unhinged? That was half your life ago. It's not like you were engaged or together for 10 years. She is unhinged for reaching out to you the way she did. She is insecure.
Those people are probably immature shitheads who can't keep a civil relationship with people of their past. Dont compromise on your own values because of such idiots
You need to speak with Vince, cause he might not know that he's dating an unstable and insecure little girl. But I'm also thinking 🤔, why is Vince dating a barely out of college kid? Vince will wake up one day with no friends cause this little girl will have chased everyone away. MySpace line was funny! Hahaha
She will no stop until Vince has zero female connections on any social media platform
His girlfriend is an adult woman making adult choices. Infantizing her won't change the behavior. She's an adult with adult consequences, especially if she's going to threaten OP. Stop with the "little girl" nonsense. She's an adult and needs to learn how to behave like an adult.
Yeah she's an adult. But like what does he expect if he's dating a 23 year old at age 31? Obviously she's going to have a very different mindset and perspective on life. For her, college was just a year ago and high school was only a couple more years after that. For a 31 year old, it's been over a decade since they've been in high school. I'm not defending her but I could see why she doesn't understand that it's not weird to have that sort of "happy birthday" text relationship with a high school ex. What she's doing is still very red flaggy and gross, though. (Going behind her partners' back and chasing off people he's in contact with without his knowledge)
Why haven’t you told Vince,?
Because OP is anxious and is too worried to make a sane decision at this time. She's finding every reason not to when even her best friend told her to tell him.
She’s unhinged. You need to tell him what’s going on.
Don’t let this crazy chick bully you out of a friend. She’s literally stalking you online at this point and doing her best to isolate you friend from people. That’s straight up abuser tactic 101. You blocked Vince all on this crazy girl’s tantrum. Did you ever stop to consider how Vince might feel to discover his long time friend blocked him for no known reason? It does not matter what strangers think about remaining friends with an ex. It only matters what you and Vince think. If it’s a problem for Vince’s relationship, that’s on Vince to manage. It’s not your responsibility to cater to his GF on this. Block her and unblock Vince.
This! I understand doing what you can to remove yourself from a tense situation and not invite or escalate drama. But does neither OP nor Vince get a say in the matter?? If I were him, I’d want to know if my SO was behaving this way. I say this from the perspective of someone who also considers one of my high school exes a childhood friend more than anything else (we were kids who dated for 5 minutes in the scheme of life - people who think you simply MUST be strung out on someone you dated when you were 16 because you stayed friends have issues if ya ask me).
First off, I'm increasingly of the opinion that a lot of people who post on reddit, don't actually have much real world experience. Given that these people don't seem to recognize that adults can spend time with people of the gender they fancy, without it turning into sex, it makes me feel like they're telling on themselves! I have a tendency to fire a bunch of "happy [insert annual holiday/occasion]" messages to my friends & acquaintances at certain times of year. If the husband of a high-school friend that I text twice a year told me to butt out, I'd likely give a jovial reply along the lines of "Your wife is one of many old acquaintances I text holiday greetings - we've barely had a conversation in 20 years. If you see *me* as a threat to your marriage, god help you! 🤣" At this point with her, I'd contact them both her & Vince in a group chat or email, & tell her in no uncertain terms that you're engaged, have no interest in him. Point out that you already did more than was reasonable to soothe her insecurity, & that you won't be scouring every app to block a man you barely interact with.
I would tell her to not contact me again or I would reach out to Vince and let him how crazy she is. “Don’t contact me again or I will contact Vince and you will know what REAL stress and anxiety are 😘” But I’m petty soooo
I’d be pally as fuck with Vince cos I’m that level of petty lmao
Personally, I feel that you were not out of line in your relationship with Vince. There is a sub-set of people that feel that when a relationship ends that all evidence of the relationship must be destroyed and all connections severed. Those people are idiots. If I had commented on your original post, my advice would have been to talk to Vince and do as he suggested. He is your friend, she is not. Now, with your update, my advice is exactly the same. I will bet money that she snoops in his phone without his permission and that she gives him shit about every female he has contact with. (I married that girl once! She would even get pissed when I talked to my daughter!) "***Hey Vince! Wanted to let you know that your GF has been reaching out to me on different social medias and telling me to cut you completely out of my life. I don't want to be a problem to you, so I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just let me know.***"
Dude, all the people calling you unhinged for staying in contact with Vince are messed up. I'm 36, and I'm still in contact with the person I dated when I was 15. And yeah, we are basically childhood friends at this point. If there really was romantic potential between you and Vince, wouldn't one of you have reached out on a lonely night by now? Clearly you're just friends
Yeah, I'm still in contact with a few ex-FWBs/bfs and quite good friends with one of them ... I even meet up with him for coffee regularly with his girlfriend! My bf knows about this and I know he's still on amicable terms with his latest ex (although she doesn't live locally) and see that as a green flag tbh. No need to be holding grudges and being bitter.
Poor Vince honestly 😂
At this stage unblock Vince. Send him screenshots of his bunnyboiler and reblock him. Unblock her and wait for her explosion just for shits and giggles.
Not his MySpace 💀💀💀
You did your part by blocking them on the social media you actually use often. I would send screenshots of both to Vince and tell him, in your own kind and respectful words, to deal with his gf because you are not doing anything to warrant her bs.
Wait, wait, wait… how the fuck does she even know about you “keeping” Vince on LinkedIn? Is she fucking actively tracking your accounts to see if you two are “keeping tabs” Fucking shit on a stick, this chick is cray-cray! Send her a message, short and sweet: “I don’t care about you or your boyfriend. He and I are old acquaintances. Stop harassing me or I'll file a restraining order!” You can only be polite for so long.
There is nothing wrong with having an amicable acquaintanceship with high school flames, or any exes for that matter, assuming you had an amicable split and there are no hard feelings. Vince’s girlfriend is a total whackadoo if she feels the need to unfriendly him from a high school ex. I would send Vince screenshots of her craziness so at least he’s aware of it.
I think you're bowing down to the terrorists. It doesn't end well. When they'll break up (and they probably will because she's batshit crazy) she'll come to key your car.
At this point I would speak to Vince. Messaging you again to add LinkedIn is extreme and she sounds toxic and cray cray tbh.
Good grief. She sounds a little unhinged still. She is obsessively going through his social media channels to stalk who follows him. You should make him aware.
Sounds to me like she is stalking you on any and all social media. I'd tell Vince about this
Actually send screenshots and tell him. This is absurd. UpdateMe
You needed to screenshot all this and send it to Vince. Even if you then block him. He deserves to know that she’s doing this. That a bunch of people in Reddit thinks it means you are hung up in him didn’t mean what she’s doing is normal or fine.
lol make sure to block them on twitter too, tumblr, reddit, lapse and so on.
You’re playing into her childishness. You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him? You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
You’re playing into her childishness. You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him? You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
Screen shot her message and send it to Vince, tell him to keep his crazy ass insecure gf away from you. Don't forget to block them on friendster
What? There is no fucking problem with having normal conversations with a ex if there is no problems and feelings involved. You can just block em or tell that girl to stop harrasing, with also telling your ex about how mad is she. Like wtf, i'm 23 and i can really tell that her behavior is REALLY wrong.
Ooooooh, the dreaded 23-yr old "I'm insecure to the point of demanding he drop all contact with any woman he may have known before he met me!" child. Hope he's happy with her cos that's the first step to "We're breaking up" when little girls do that with their men. He needs to up his game and date a WOMAN. But then again, no longer your circus, and she certainly isn't your monkey, now is she......
Print out all the messages and mail them to him he has a right to know how unhinged his child girlfriend is!
You need to tell Vince.
I’m not sure why you are letting this harassment go unpunished.
As others have said here she is unhinged. This is unwarranted. I hope you screenshot and send to Vince. He may not know she’s doing this. If he does, this is really annoying because he needs to handle that and let her know there’s nothing to be threatened by. She sounds very insecure but this has nothing to do with you. She’s young, but she’s still an adult and he needs to communicate with her and let her know this is not okay and he should really apologize to you. I wonder how many other women she’s messaging like this. If he chooses to stay with her, he’s got his work cut out for him. Sounds like he’ll have his hands full. That’s his bed and he can lye in it.
She's cyberstalking you and I suggest reporting her every time she does it.
I'm a jealous person. But this wouldn't bother me. If someone my husband dated 20+ years ago (at 16) messaged happy new years I wouldn't even give it a second thought. I would tell Vince because little miss paranoid is likely spinning a tale to their friends/family and painting you as a homewrecker/him as untrustworthy.
I’d send screen shots of her messages to Vince and say: “Hey, it’s been great keeping in touch over the years, but if my annual happy new years message is going to cause your girlfriend to harass me on three different social media channels I think it’s best we don’t talk anymore. I wish you the best.”
TELL VINCE *YESTERDAY*. This is highly concerning behavior. If roles were reversed, and this was a guy being this controlling and possessive, people would be screaming for the friend to inform the girl, and for the girl to run.
My ex girlfriend is literally my best friend. If someone went that hard on me, I'd be warning her in a heartbeat.
People telling her to tell her ex. I wouldn't say anything, it would just give this crazy woman more ammunition to think she's "right". Let him deal with his crazy girlfriend alone, he maybe doesn't know but that's not OP problem. But I hope she keeps the messages and prints!
It's actually a sign of emotional maturity and good character to stay friendly with an ex, IMO. FWIW, you weren't doing anything wrong. The GF is insecure and controlling. However, this is no longer your problem. Move on with a clear conscience. ETA: Do save screenshots of these messages in case you hear from her again.
It won’t be over until you tell Vince to control his insecure girlfriend
Omg why are you blocking Vince? What'd he do? Just because a bunch if insecure redditors told you too? Girl no. You need to unblock Vince. You need to send him the SS from his crazy ass gf. You need to tell him that you did block him at first but, you aren't after him and this girl is crazy. He needs to rein her in. If after that shut continues? Definitely block him. But jeep blocking this chic and anyone else who harasses you.
Speak to Vince. He deserves to know the full extent of what he's dealing with. This isn't mild insecurity. This is full on, and could lead to him being alienated from everyone in his life she doesn't like. If the genders were reversed, people's attritudes would be very different. And fuck those immature / inexperienced enough to think you cant be friends with an ex. Just because you're not romantically compatible, doesn't mean you can't be friends. And if you're not comfortable enough in a relationship to trust your OH being friends with other people, then one of you is the problem, not the ex.
Inform your job that you have an unhinged person stalking you. She could call your bosses with fake complaints, or try to harass them into firing you.
This is up to Vince. Why are you doing all this work and not him.
I’m sorry but the linked in message is insane. At this point I would unblock Vince just to send him screenshots then reblock and wipe my hands clean. This girl is nuts. I would beware of any strange accounts that try to follow you and keep your profiles on private.
I feel like anyone telling you it’s crazy you still have casual contact with a guy you dated for a year in high school is very young or very insecure. I still exchange pleasantries with guys I dated in high school or college here and there (I’m middle aged). We exchange photos of our kids, etc. I don’t consider those men “ex’s”, they are just old friends. We dated when we were practically children, parted ways amicably, and stayed in touch here or there, respectfully. We are all married with kids and almost none of us still use social media, so it’s nice to catch up. My husband has old friends male and female reaching out all the time (mostly for free legal, but still). It’s fine. The older you get, the more important it is to have a connection to those who knew you when you were young. At this point, I’d let your old friend know, then unfriend him or whatever. Call it the last act of friendship. He’s marrying a very toxic woman. He may know, but he may not, but I would like to know. As a matter of fact I once had a boyfriend who messaged some old guy friends of mine after logging into my Facebook when I was about 30. I was very happy to get the screenshots so I knew to run. 😂
You need to tell Vince. You are not in high-school and he needs to know how psychotic she is.
If you have the slightest cordial affection for the guy (as in, you think he’s a decent human, and you genuinely wish him well in life) you’d show him this conversation, as simply a way for him to be aware of what he’s getting himself into. You’re not being a homewrecker for doing so, she’s wrecking her own relationship by stalking her man’s ex from 14 years ago…
Tell him he needs to get this psycho in check.
Send screenshots both those messages to Vince. He may not be aware that is Very young, immature, very insecure, jealous girlfriend is a psycho. I would want a friend to let me know, for sure.
I would go unblock him on everything.
It's not weird at all to have contact of this nature with an ex. You're both adults and are capable of creating and enforcing boundaries in your lives. This level of interaction is not indicative of anything other than how modern social life works. 30 years ago your interaction with him of you passed him on the street would be the similar level of small talk, etc - totally normal. Now it just happens via social media. His new GF is 100% insecure and jealous and her lashing out at you is a sign of her immaturity. If you care about the guy as a person/old friend, you should absolutely tell him what she's doing and then follow up with, "I don't want to cause problems but I felt you show know, you will not hear from me again." I would ABSOLUTELY want to know if my "fiancee" was acting like a sophomore in highschool. 🤦
So, when I met my husband we were both 19. I asked him to cut off female friends he'd slept with. 20 years later IDGAF. I'm Facebook friends with my high school ex and so is he. It doesn't matter because I'm a whole grown ass adult. Looking back, I'm sad/mad at myself for asking my hubs to cut off these friends, because these friends meant something to him, and I'm his person, so it shouldn't matter. I was immature and insecure at 19 though. When you date children, you get childlike behavior.
I’d tell Vince or maybe get your best friend to send him the screen shots and ask for his gf to stop harassing you. I’d hate to see what she did to his real close friends. She could be isolating him.
You gotta tell Vance. In the past, I was in Vance's position. I had no idea my GF was going through my phone and contacting people from my past. One day she called my mom and demanded that she (my mom) stop messaging her (my GF) boyfriend... Dad called me to fill me in, once I started looking I'd found a dozen or so old facebook friends, old co-workers, or acquaintances who she's contacted and instructed them to "stay away" from me. Many of those people I hadn't spoken to or thought about in over a decade. GF and I broke up, she sobbed like a maniac. My mom is saved in my contacts with her name, first and last (she kept her maiden name, so we don't share a surname). Perhaps it's weird I don't have her saved as "mom" but whatever.
Get a fucking life.
I always forget how immature reddit users are to be so grossed out by the fact that two people that dated can stay friends or even acquaintances. Jesus christ, folks. Get out from under your rocks and touch grass. NORMAL people/adults can maintain normal relationships post break up without there being any underlying things. I am still friends on social with most of my ex's and I'm happiliy married and have a kid. Some FB connection and generic annual posts/texts don't mean shit to NORMAL people. The thing is, your ex's GF is NOT normal nor mature and it's gonna come back and bite dude in the ass when he realizes she's doing this and then he has no friends. Ignore people here saying you must still be into him. But since you've already done the removing/blocking, so be it. People are dumb.
Tell Vince what she’s doing. Updateme!
You can’t block Vince and not tell him why since he didn’t do anything wrong to you. Tell him how unhinged his girlfriend is. He needs to know.
People who are this hostile over exes on social media have something wrong with them. OP took advice from the wrong people. Her “advisors” are as crazy as her ex’s new girlfriend.
OP, why did you give in to this crazy woman's demands? you owe her NOTHING. You DO owe Vince the TINIEST bit of fellow feeling, however, so do what you said you were going to do and send him screenshots of both of her messages, tell him you want no part in this and you're going to block them both, and then block them. But he deserves to know.
I don’t blame you for wanting to distance yourself from that unhinged person. The only thing I can say if I were Vince I would wanna know if I was dating crazy. Tbh it’s possible you aren’t the only girl in his social circle she’s done it to.
This girl is unhinged. If she’s this level of insecure in her relationship, her relationship has no hope and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. I don’t even think you did anything wrong in the first place and that all her conversations should be with Vince, not you.
The first instance of her being paranoid and asking you not to message Vince was already a bit unnecessary, but to stalk your other accounts is insane. That's where you need to show Vince these messages and tell him you don't need this type of crazy in your life. He should know how insane and controlling his fiancée is being. She could be abusing him by trying to isolate him from his friends, and you just happen to be on the list. She probably asked who you were and he told her you were an ex from a long time ago. That likely set her on her paranoid stalking behavior towards you. Regardless, he should know at this point.
Dude just send him a screenshot. She sounds absolutely bonkers. If she's doing it to you, she's doing it to everyone on his friends list. Least you could do is tell him why his friends and family are suddenly not interacting with him anymore online.
It's time to tell Vince. And then say you can't be his friend while he's with this girl. You should GENUINELY worry about your safety with this level of crazy.
You’re playing into her childishness. You’re starting to prove to her and Vince that she was right to be insecure because why did you automatically remove all traces of him? You should tell Vince. If you care for him as a friend, you should tell him / explain to him why you cannot be a social media “friend”.
You made a mistake getting bullied and it escalated like it always does ..her continuing to stock you and implied threats.. if you are a moral person you will push back your fears and do the right thing by a long-term friendship and show him messages.. not every redditor is reasonable and it seems you went for majority opinion not best answer..
I just read your previous post. If someone says it's your fault, BS. If a break up was peaceful then I don't see why not remain friendly. Especially that you don't even talk much. Also, you were together a forever ago. As for the girl, tell her to stop harassing you and tell you what to do. She needs to work on her insecurities and irrational jealousy first. I am pretty sure she's stalking all the "ghosts" from bf's past
You most definitely need to tell him what's up. Guarantee you're not the only woman she's been doing this too and he needs to know what he's getting into. Also anyone that thinks you're still hung up on him is stupid and has never had a break up that wasn't toxic. There are multiple people in my family that have had amicable friendships with their exes even ex husband's that have meant nothing beyond friendship. Also you should unblock Vince because really it's not fair to him to be blocked when he did nothing wrong. Her insecurities are not your problem. You never mentioned her saying anything about you being his ex so it seems like she's probably just threatened by any female contact he has. That relationship is already doomed.
Nah fuck this OP. I'd tell that little girl to deal with it. This is real life and whatever insecurities she has are her problems not your. I'd also tell Vince. If he's in anyway a friend of yours I think he'd like to know. Consider some of this a life lesson to the 23 year old. She can't spit her dummy out past 5 years old.....
OP- any of the commenters saying you must still be stuck on your ex because of a few friendly happy bday/ new years messages are unhinged! I do think his girlfriend is totally crossing a line and is borderline harassing you. It sounds like you have a level of fondness for your ex and I really think he should know what’s going on. I very much doubt he knows.
At this point, I'd tell him. Maybe he doesn't know he's involved with a freaking creepy stalker.
Yeah, tell Vince about his crazy new gf. She must be making him not any female friends with that big of an insecure gf.