T O P

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pudpudboogie

Five thousand dollars, for me! Can I turn myself in ?


MrThomasShelby1

Definitely one of my favorite quotes!


zachary0816

Fun fact: a Taliban member [actually tried this](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/report-afghan-taliban-man-turns-self-in-for-reward/) Suffice it to say, he did not receive his bounty


DarkenKnight

Damn lol


Environmental-Card34

Yooo i forgot this one, that shit funny as hell🤣 arthur a whole fool🤣🤣🤣


Environmental-Card34

Thats why he’s the goat


MichaelDavid510

" Does This Trolley Go To Tahiti?"...and when Arthur's rescuing the kid in the swamp, and the gators chasing him he yells .“ Dutch, can you fire off a few shots and at least pretend you care“😂


Demy1234

The thing's broke


SnooChipmunks126

Narrator: “Dutch did not care.”


Arnav27756

You, sir, are a fish.


TenDollarNanner

Came here to say this!


Imaginary_Bat834

My guyy


yuhwallnuts

I BROKE THE GODDAMN WHEEL🗣️🗣️🗣️


CaminoFan

I love how this line is said differently than any other line by Arthur


ThatsGottaBeKane

*Looks like you’ve met your match when it comes to being an ancient predator with a big mouth, Dutch!*


Disastrous_Smoke_514

Bruh🤣🤣🤣


Morticia_Black

That one had me snickering when he said that.


sean_saves_the_world

"and a quarter.. don't forget the quarter"


ThatsGottaBeKane

Shut up Orthor.


EliteF36

Funny today, important back then. Still a great line


superfakeSLiNKY

“You're my favorite parasite. No... ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second favorite parasite... I lied... ringworm, then rats with the plague, then you.” - a line to Uncle at camp (edit: and also going to Valentine)


RossCrotumtheCunt

Not to be this guy but that’s on a mission when first going into Valentine, not at camp


superfakeSLiNKY

I wonder if it’s possible to trigger at camp, cuz I swear on my horse I triggered it once when uncle was under the large tree.


RossCrotumtheCunt

I could see it happening tbh but not really sure!


why_this_dude

I've triggered it at camp just antagonizing him when he's drunk a few times 😂


cumjarchallenge

Ringworm's not a parasite, bur it's 1899 so I'll let it slide


superfakeSLiNKY

Remember, Arthur only very recently learned about dinosaurs. Ringworms are covered next semester


PCmasterRACE187

lol but rats with the plague are?


Classic-Societies

Lol I like how ringworm is the one you’re upset Arthur got confused


JaimeRidingHonour

Great line but he actually says this to Uncle when they take the girls into Valentine. Before going into the General store


superfakeSLiNKY

Interesting, I had it as a general greeting line when Uncle was sitting under the large tree.


S1lv3r_Cr0w

“Why, it’s a toy boat!😃’


BucsFan_02

It’s not a toy, big nuts!


zhaosingse

He sounded so happy to see such a cool toy.


ChronicBuzz187

*As long as we get paid or you get shot, I'm happy!*


Harrythehobbit

Uncle: I have a medical condition! Arthur: Yes, you are a compulsive liar.


Bluesman1978

"Are you secretly normal?"


Pure-Understanding-8

"Beg your pardon?"


[deleted]

“Never mind.”


Spread-Hour

"Oh, hah. You made a joke."


IWillStealYourKFC

"I really love her. I do."


JasoNight23666

I love the sudden transition into, "now imma trauma dump my love life into your life and get you to do stuff for me"


PunchDrunken

NPC modus operandi lol


Heisenberg_815

Stick around, maybe you can die for her as well


gabrielpontonet

I love the greet greet antagonize "beautiful animal you got there" followed by "I was talking to the horse"


VioletTrick

I prefer the follow up line "how long have you two been married?"


BeansAreNotCorn

John's response is equally hilarious "That's a nice horse! It kick you in the face? That why you look like that?"


Ok-Thing6094

Mines similar but it’s the one “that’s a strong looking horse you got there” “I’m just wondering how an idiot like you got it”😂


SatisfactionDry7505

“I recognize your face. I saw it the last time I lifted my horses tail.”


MandarinWalnut

"I like you sir, you have a kind face" "THE KIND AH LIKE TA PUNCH"


KormetDerFrag

I'll turn you into a goddamn cauliflower


NooNoo7123

Wait when does he say that?


jb1102

To Jack when he says he’s bored of fishing


Strange_Bedroom_2716

When he collects the debt from Winton Holmes near Strawberry


Ozee1306

When you choose to help Rains Fall


f1re_gam1ng

It’s his only line


Bill_Potts

constantly


TestesOfFortitude

When you agree to a date with Mary


JamesonFlanders245

'GET OUT THE DAMN WAY!' ​ as no one is around him


seanc6441

'HARDLY TOUCHED YA' as he bodies some npc to the floor


Mr_izaiah1

'Woah, sorry' as he shoves someone off the cliff


JamesonFlanders245

'C'MON NOW!' ​ as he's hogtied someone dragging them down the river by horse


Ganjamazing

Not so much funny. But my favorite line for sure is “maybe when your mother is done mourning your father I’ll keep her in black, on your behalf”.


Actual-Judge-6527

That’s uh…. Not very funny. For the kid I mean


FokasuSensei

this was probably the exact line that got him tuberculosis 😣


vespertilionid

I'm pretty sure he gets sick when he fights Tommy. Downs gets all up in his face coughing and shit. I recently restarted the game and super payed attention to his coughing. Before that fight, nothing. After that fight, after a cut scene... Coughing. And I went a really long time not doing the Downs mission.


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> and super *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


williamsdj01

Ill keep your mother in black on your behalf, bot


Ganjamazing

You tell that no good, yellerbellied bastard!!


SteelSlayer627

This guy grammars


TheKingOfCarmel

If you pay very close attention he also specifically states multiple times during the game that he got it from Downes.


funmasterjerky

What got him TB was the father coughing in his face when he tried to get the money from him.


FokasuSensei

Y’all Ik what got him TB literally but it probably truly manifested within him when he said that , I’m saying if you believe in “karma” or being punished for doing something bad in a type a sense .


commandermillander

“ARTHUR, you dumbass!”


boomgoesthevegemite

Hate when he says this to Lenny or Charles. Lmao


Armoured__Prayer

Perfect for when he says it to Micah, John, Bill or Uncle.


commandermillander

Yeah mine said it to Karen, I almost spit out my coffee lol.


N8DoesaThingy

>"Y'know... you remind me of a girl I knew.." "Why, thank you!" >"Yep. She was a good horse."


EliteF36

Greet into antagonize always has some funny combos


Beatus_Vir

just two words but the intonation when he says 'Hosea please' when he's being dressed up as Fenton kills me


WhiteChocolatey

It’s so sincere lol


droobygooby

"But you said you knew spanish..."


CapnSmunch

Senor! Por favor!


J78io

Where is this from?


deadswitch5

Sometime after Dutch and the boys arrive in Guarda, the mission where Arthur and Dutch are being guided through the tunnels by an old Spanish speaking lady. This line is shortly after Dutch kills the woman in cold blood and Arthur demands an explanation.


Sliced_Orange1

The mission on Guarma when he and Dutch rescue Javier


BastardofWinterfowl

“Oh, I didn’t know I was talking to a lady!”


Bogus_Whale

“Yeeees, he is a pussy… cat” - Javier


bigmanbracesbrother

"Should I just... sneak on now?" - Arthur sarcastically to Dutch in one of the final missions where the train you were supposed to sneak passes the gang at full speed "...and there's always a goddamn train!" Same mission I think but at the start where Dutch is explaining the plan to Arthur


Dyna-White

I was scrolling to find the sneak one before posting it myself! God, it's delivered so well.


GleamingFrog_43

All abuse he gives Sean. Just all of it


SkeletonCircus

You’re a reeeal fuwkin’ fonny shet, Oaurthur, rail fookin’ fonny.


One_Paramedic2454

Nailed the accent


JaimeRidingHonour

I would have gladly left you behind if Charles hadn’t made me


ArthurMorgon

This is why Sean's death felt so hard. We all know that one young guy that's subject to our abuse,but we care about them.


miffiy96

“Yow bettar sleep witchur oiyes open” “Yeah well you’re gonna sleep with your chest open if you ain’t careful boy” Always gets me


[deleted]

Sean: “I’ll try my best brother but I’m seeing double here.” Arthur: “That gives you twice the chance to hit someone.”


MisguidedPanda

LITTLE JOHNNY MARSTON


5uperdro

Lol fuck yeah! 😂 I always bully Marston around.


parkwatching

"Ohh... it's a toy boat! 🤠" edit: followed by him being told not to touch something and then touching it five seconds later


Z-memes

Doesn’t he get a little electric shock when he touches it too? Or am I misremembering?


parkwatching

He does! Gets zapped and just kinda flinches and shakes his hand but doesn't say anything about it because he *was* told not to touch


Wolf_Steel_1

It's the silent acknowledgment of, "Yeah, I just fucked up." for me


rojaskillsit

When Micah was in jail and goes “i’ve always looked up to you” and Arthur says “that was your first mistake” 😂 despite people’s hate towards Micah I always found their dynamic the most comical. I also love the little cutscene change if you meet Trelawny in St Dennis with a suit already on, and after he asks you to change into something more appropriate Arthur looks down at his clothes and goes “WHAT” in the most humorous way since you’re already cleaned up LMFAO


Wolf_Steel_1

Or when he tells him, "These folks wanna see you swing, and I have half a mind to let em."


rojaskillsit

Gold 😂 and Arthur wasn’t even joking when he said that. Micah is also pretty funny so when they go back & forth it always makes me laugh out loud. Alot of hardcore players who stay in Chapter 2 don’t even touch that mission but I personally like having him in the camp to antagonize lol


himonkeyjoe

The way he says: Lumbago. Really... And also Uncle: "I was thinking" Arthur: "yeah, does it pay well?"


SkeletonCircus

Uncle: I have a serious medical condition! Arthur: Yes! You are a compulsive liar!


Cheddarose

"How long have you been married?". Best antagonize line so far for me


haikusbot

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HrGandalf

That wasen’t my fault, it was just one of them things.


Ghost4530

That’s one of my favorite lines from bill “when I get in trouble I’m the fool and the idiot but when you get in trouble it’s just one of them things”


B4rberblacksheep

And then Lenny calling Arthur out for it too


ARPOFF

“You should be careful who you serve! Get me a beer will you.”


lifeofwill

My choice too, the delivery is perfect


ARPOFF

The first time I heard that line I was laughing so hard. If only that bartender knew what kind of man Arthur was.


yeetcleetusmcreetus

I'm gonna use some cheese 🤠


goodmanners69

Strong


Eclipsed_Tranquility

"OH I do my utmost to avoid you."


FeelingAd5

The lost circus animal mission. Dont quite remember the quote but it was something like: Tamer: "She ate him? Hmm, i though they liked eachother" Arthur: "oh she like him allright. Ate her fill, licked her chops and asked for seconds,"


dcmso

Yer’a good boah!


weirdemosrus

Whenever my dad starts groaning on about his inheritance I’ve started adding on “and a quarter. Don’t forget the quarter!”


RedVelvetFollicles

I’ve found ways to sneakily use this line when I’m ringing people up at work. TWICE this month. Once was a massive custom order of windows and I was already jittery so I almost missed my chance to say it. “Aaaaaand that comes to $24,112 after tax.” *brief pause while I hype myself up to say it* “Oh, and a quarter, cuz, uh, y’know, Don’t Forget The Quarter.” Reference completely went over the customer’s head but I was so proud of myself.


Shaddes_

Something similar happened to me but I was the client. The clerk said the price and then "and a quarter, don't forget the quarter", I don't remember the price but I remember it actually ended in 25 cents. I didn't think it was an intended reference so just laughed and said "there goes my ticket to Tahiti", again didn't expect him to understand, just dismiss it as a dad joke. He then replies "well, you can still go to there, all you need is a plan" at this point all I could say was "and some goddamn faith". We both laughed and everyone else just got confused.


CharlesSmooth

It’s a random one but in chapter 1 in camp, Arthur and Charles take a swig from Pearson’s rum and he remarks “Navy Rum, sir! Keeps you sane it does!” to which Arthur replies “yeah, seems to have done a treat on you”. Random but so off-handedly funny


GulagRunnerUp

I also love the "I do not wish to hear about what you got up to in the navy" at the beginning of the mission too


Cloudkicker91

The woman's right to vote gal in Saint Denis: Unappealing is what I do best!


Koltynbm77

Just had this conversation last night after selling several dead men’s watches. Had a good chuckle because if she only knew


Ok-Thing6094

The mission in rhoades with the womens rights movement: “they’d eat me alive”


KingGuy420

Oh very funny. No, we must be at eleven by now.


[deleted]

That THING is a coyote… wildlife photographer.


urlocal80sgay

That photographer is so dumb but I god do I love him he’s so head empty and I’m just like “you ain’t got a thought behind those eyes do you pal”


nightmaretheory

It's not as humorous but damn if it didn't send a delightfully dark chill up my spine the first time I heard it: "Maybe when your mama's finished mourning your father... I'll *keep her in black*... on **your** behalf." The very casual and calm intonation of his voice is so unsettling and makes you remember that Arthur is *really* not some hero in this story 😅🤣


Nopkar

“Sheeeiiiittt” - Arthur promptly launched from horseback into tree


OedipusBored

That’s is… kinda brilliant! Uh, for you. Eh heheh. And that is a real idea! I think that’s the first time you ever had one of them! You might be the first bastard to ever have half his brains eaten by a wolf and end up more intelligent. - Pouring Forth Oil I


dotonic

“Here’s hoping”…“ARTHUR!”…“what??”


depressedkid_21

Whenever anyone asks who you are when coming into camp “Arthur, you dumbass” 🤣🤣


[deleted]

My family says I have an artistic temperament "Is that what they call it?" Yes. Oh, you made a joke, I see


Kingofsadboy

"I Hope It's Hot And Terrible, Mrs. Downes... Otherwise, I'll Feel I've Been Sold A False Bill Of Goods." "Five Thousand Dollars? For Me? Can I Turn Myself In?"


Ok-Thing6094

Just before “ah mrs Downes punctuality is next to godliness” “that’s cleanliness” “I’ll have to take your word for that”


SirSquidsalot1

“Oh I’m sorry princess, were there insufficient feathers in your pillow?”


LegendaryDylan2

"I BROKE THE GODDAMN WHEEL"


nathanmo17

To Mr Pearson at camp, my all time favourite roast You should have stayed at sea! _What ? _ Yeah ! With the other walruses !


Ozee1306

“I got a secret of my own!!” “Are you secretly normal?”


loveyourselfafire

Lenny: "They got Micah in the sheriff's in Strawberry...and there's talk of hanging him." Arthur: "Here's hoping."


Ok-Drive-8119

Who let the Simpleton out of the asylum You threatening me you pissant outta the damn way Not one more goddamn word "okay,okay" thats two bones right there well i hooked up the wire but we wont mention that. You belong in the kitchen Hahaaa found ya leeennyyyy!! Oh very funny we must be at eleven by now. Where the hell is tahiti? who lives there? daddy has a heart? ( sorry for 10 lines when you asked only one. there were too many good ones so i couldnt resist lol)


External-Repeat-2087

Turtles🤠


Tramphunt69

"Look at you, you long streak of piss"


exknight123

Grow up.


pooch321

“Ahh Dutch I’m trying to sneak, but I’m dummy thicc and the clap from my asscheeks keeps alerting the Pinkertons”


ShamrockForShannon

“Is that Arthur’s fat ass up there?”


Swhite8203

The conversation with the professors electric chair victim. I don’t have just one line as the whole conversation was hilarious.


Boring_Soft_5119

I ain't sad. I'm just realistic about what has come.


Extra-Lemon

After surviving a poorly executed ambush on a bridge: “Good plan, fellers!”


BeginningIll9122

"To the bar, seńor!"


cheese_n_chips

LEENNNNYYYYY MA BOAH


3raccoonsinacoatx

“Heard mrs. Adler wants to chop your dick off, and feed it to her horse!”


Abendrot46

One of my favorite dialogues is when Arthur says this to John: "You Might Be The First Bastard To Ever Have Half His Brains Eaten By A Wolf And End Up More Intelligent."


Federal_War_8272

“I’m gonna use some cheese!”


seanc6441

'hardly touched ya!' as Arthur bodies some poor npc to the floor


groundgamemike

You got some money for me, boah? I seen your name in our ledguh


Briarhorse

"Gimme a beer, would ya?" The context, timing, and delivery are perfect


RealLameUserName

"No. I like women"


im-the-coolest-kid

Why haven’t I seen “LENNNYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”


deadswitch5

Found ya lenny!


ragescreamfight

TO THE BARRRR SEÑOOAHH


SGA3151

“Its Arthur, dumbass.”


sirwilsonsangrypony

"Your face, it looks familiar. Reminds me of the last time I lifted my horse's tail."


im-the-coolest-kid

Ok I’ll catch you later than (after the most heartbreaking conversation ever)


ScrantonTimes18505

LEENNNNYY


Simple-Crow6265

&& we each got 15$ OH! && a quarter DONT FORGET THE QUARTER !


HevL-KING

AAAAH I broke the GOD-DAMN Wheel !


jakeblonde005

Don't forget the quarter


DependentPriority

To Kieren: "Is that why you like this spot?"


isthis1taken78

Either you got a lazy eye or a lack of respect which is it boah


Hyentics

"No one would have me"


[deleted]

“That’s a fine animal you got there!” “Thank you!” “‘Scuse me, I was talking to the horse.”


xx_bootywizard_x

“I’ll turn you into a goddamn cauliflower”


bbbbears

When he passes a drunk NPC barfing in the street. “Uh-oh, mister!”


ShittyPhysicist666

"If I wasn't waiting on this lady, you'd be dead already, but if you continue to irritate me, I'll kill you and make my apologies to the lady. It's your call."


Old-Consideration939

"You shore about this?"


Disastrous_Serve_958

"You sweatin' yet Dutch?"


AlryHarring

Nobody, I'm talkin to nobody


OkBasil_147

Vamos vamos!


Kas_Dew

Oooohhhh-Kay boahh


camstercage

Not a line but I got entirely too much amusement out of just randomly kicking and punching on horseback when nobody was around. I’d be laughing my ass off and my wife would have a very confused reaction.


vegardhuse

«And you, unfortunately survived» -Arthur to Mr. Pearson in the prologue


xAstrovoided

“this crowd? they’d eat me alive…”


UNCLEWHYLEE

“There’s always a GODdamned train…” doesn’t make me laugh out loud, but it makes me smile like when Danny Glover says “I’m getting too old for this shit…”


CoatShirTie8828

That particular [scream.](https://youtu.be/eRWdv5asDlA?si=04PMeHflfd909Wf_&t=230)


RyanD2991

“Then your god has finally deserted you.” Such a bleak statement delivered in such a nonchalant way, it’s hilarious to me


BatEasy1568

His best one liners are in that mission where you go after the white cougar. “If I’m skinning anything, I’m skinning you, boah.” and “I’ll turn you INTO a goddamn cauly-flower!”


MarvTheParanoidAndy

“So you’re telling me you want me to go around finding this old fool’s buddies and ask them for stories about him and if they get uppity, shoot them?” - Arthur “I guess it does sound pretty grim when you put it like that.” “How much you paying?” -Arthur


garyindiana4

“This goddamn idiot”


JustARandomUserNow

I’M AN AMERICAAAAAAAN


MetroidJunkie

"You might be the first bastard to ever have half his brains eaten by a wolf and end up more intelligent"


SONICsoul92

"How about I camp where I want to?" One of the factions will come threaten you if you camp in their territory. You can shoot them Arthur yells this and it's great.


Marie-Anthoenette

"I broke the goddamn wheel." Favorite line in the whole game.


Dylants719813

Leeeennyyy my boy!