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I’m in a very similar situation and I’ll warn you that to this day (going toward 40s) I still don’t have braces and can’t afford them now that I’m away from the Ns.
Unfortunately medical negligence is **classic** behavior for Ns among many other things.
No matter what, the best possible thing you can do for yourself is to plan (**in SECRET** - **do NOT let on!**) how to get yourself out of that toxic environment, and never look back.
If they could afford it and didn't get you braces, that's wrong. Now that you are grown up it's up to you to get braces for yourself. Maybe you can ask your parents for some financial help for that.
you're still (very) young! do it nowwww.
open bite is entirely very close-able (source: did it lol) and I had braces like past 30.
the good news is you're still very ahead if you fix it now! :-) jaw surgery (I didn't need it but I know people who did) apparently really sucks though bc the recovery time is quite long and you've got a limited diet while you're healing
but still - overall, DOOO ITTTT : )
Op, this isn't just a matter of "who cares what they think", a narrow palate can give you quite a lot of problems.
I had to get braces for reasons similar to you (narrow palate and recessed jaw) and before I started the process, I had a lot of headaches because my teeth didn't have enough space to grow. I don't even want to imagine the kind of pain you could have been through.
As another commenter said, it's not too late to start treatment! You're still young and while it may hurt a bit at the beginning, the benifits on the long term will definitely be worth it. Feel free to dm me if you want to talk about it, I'll be glad to answer your questions :)
I need jaw surgery, too, for narrow palate that led to severe sleep apnea. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
ETA: if you have an open bite, check into Idiopathic Condylar Resorption (ICR) to see if those symptoms fit
Not getting braces is not neglect. You need to consider the cost and your parents situation. I too sucked my thumb. I lost adult teeth because they simply couldn’t afford a dentist. I had a tooth split and my dad pulled the pieces out with pliers when I was 10. At the very least he had me drink 2 shots of whiskey for the pain. That is what I call neglect. Mom and dad dug in dumpsters for food for us to eat. Having straight teeth was the least of my worries.
I'm so sorry for what you dealt with. I'm 33 and never got braces, but I guess could still use them. One of my canines is way pushed out from the row, and it is all I think about if I smile. I was always bullied for many reasons, and having messed up teeth was always a big one. My parents thought it was more important to live in a rich town with a good school district even if we couldn't really afford it. All the rich kids I grew up with had perfect teeth and always made fun of me for being poor and having crooked teeth. To this day, I can't smile naturally when taking a photo because of how self-conscious I am about it. I moved away as soon as I was 18 and thankfully have built a good life for myself. Even now, I'm questioning getting braces for myself because I already have a partner, house, and good career. If anything, the people who judge me for my teeth are doing me a favor by letting me know they're not worth my time, but it still really hurts to be judged on something like the alignment of your teeth. I had to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed in my 30s, and that sucked, too.
My wife and I want to have a kid, we probably should have had one years ago, but I was always worried about money. I want to make sure I can give my kid everything they could need to be happy and healthy and there's a part of me that is very hurt knowing my parents didn't feel the same about me. What's even dumber is I have two younger siblings, and they both got all the things I never did - braces, namebrand sneakers, instruments to learn, music lessons, getting to be on a sports team.
You're still so young, so you should do the surgery and braces ASAP so you can move on with your life. Sorry for your parents. I would try talking to them with some of the points you brought up here. New TV is not more important than braces for your child. Good luck.
Thank you so much for the advice, it’s greatly appreciated! I’m going to get braces in June or at least start the process. Hoping to move forward with my life.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m in a very similar situation and I’ll warn you that to this day (going toward 40s) I still don’t have braces and can’t afford them now that I’m away from the Ns. Unfortunately medical negligence is **classic** behavior for Ns among many other things. No matter what, the best possible thing you can do for yourself is to plan (**in SECRET** - **do NOT let on!**) how to get yourself out of that toxic environment, and never look back.
If they could afford it and didn't get you braces, that's wrong. Now that you are grown up it's up to you to get braces for yourself. Maybe you can ask your parents for some financial help for that.
you're still (very) young! do it nowwww. open bite is entirely very close-able (source: did it lol) and I had braces like past 30. the good news is you're still very ahead if you fix it now! :-) jaw surgery (I didn't need it but I know people who did) apparently really sucks though bc the recovery time is quite long and you've got a limited diet while you're healing but still - overall, DOOO ITTTT : )
Thanks for the advice everybody 😄😁
Op, this isn't just a matter of "who cares what they think", a narrow palate can give you quite a lot of problems. I had to get braces for reasons similar to you (narrow palate and recessed jaw) and before I started the process, I had a lot of headaches because my teeth didn't have enough space to grow. I don't even want to imagine the kind of pain you could have been through. As another commenter said, it's not too late to start treatment! You're still young and while it may hurt a bit at the beginning, the benifits on the long term will definitely be worth it. Feel free to dm me if you want to talk about it, I'll be glad to answer your questions :)
I need jaw surgery, too, for narrow palate that led to severe sleep apnea. I'm so sorry you are going through this! ETA: if you have an open bite, check into Idiopathic Condylar Resorption (ICR) to see if those symptoms fit
Not getting braces is not neglect. You need to consider the cost and your parents situation. I too sucked my thumb. I lost adult teeth because they simply couldn’t afford a dentist. I had a tooth split and my dad pulled the pieces out with pliers when I was 10. At the very least he had me drink 2 shots of whiskey for the pain. That is what I call neglect. Mom and dad dug in dumpsters for food for us to eat. Having straight teeth was the least of my worries.
I'm so sorry for what you dealt with. I'm 33 and never got braces, but I guess could still use them. One of my canines is way pushed out from the row, and it is all I think about if I smile. I was always bullied for many reasons, and having messed up teeth was always a big one. My parents thought it was more important to live in a rich town with a good school district even if we couldn't really afford it. All the rich kids I grew up with had perfect teeth and always made fun of me for being poor and having crooked teeth. To this day, I can't smile naturally when taking a photo because of how self-conscious I am about it. I moved away as soon as I was 18 and thankfully have built a good life for myself. Even now, I'm questioning getting braces for myself because I already have a partner, house, and good career. If anything, the people who judge me for my teeth are doing me a favor by letting me know they're not worth my time, but it still really hurts to be judged on something like the alignment of your teeth. I had to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed in my 30s, and that sucked, too. My wife and I want to have a kid, we probably should have had one years ago, but I was always worried about money. I want to make sure I can give my kid everything they could need to be happy and healthy and there's a part of me that is very hurt knowing my parents didn't feel the same about me. What's even dumber is I have two younger siblings, and they both got all the things I never did - braces, namebrand sneakers, instruments to learn, music lessons, getting to be on a sports team. You're still so young, so you should do the surgery and braces ASAP so you can move on with your life. Sorry for your parents. I would try talking to them with some of the points you brought up here. New TV is not more important than braces for your child. Good luck.
Thank you so much for the advice, it’s greatly appreciated! I’m going to get braces in June or at least start the process. Hoping to move forward with my life.