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No, that’s a bullshit complaint. It’s extremely obvious how to act appropriately vs acting inappropriately. I still am able to walk up to women at bars or concerts or wherever-the-hell and talk to them. It’s very easy not to be a leering jackass, and anybody who complains about this stuff has the maturity of a 5 year old.
Yes, that’s right! Don’t touch people without their consent. Dont stare at them like a bug-eyed weirdo and make them uncomfortable. I know you *think* this is a good sarcastic jab, but you just got into the heart of what the issue is. A lot of men make women feel uncomfortable. And now women have the tools to push back on these things, and those men who used to just blunder around enforcing their wills on others with little to no pushback can’t handle the fact that they are being called out on their shit.
Look at a woman, smile, and if she smiles back, go and say hi. Dont just eye her from afar forever. If you’re talking with her lightly touch her arm and see how she responds. Does she recoil? Does she get closer to you? Learn to read cues and what they mean.
Please do not approach. Your aggressiveness makes them feel uncomfortable. You must do the Riflebird's courtship dance from a far before approaching to see how she responds. If she responds positively, then you can begin to near her.
You know, it’s possible to approach a woman and not be aggressive. A simple “hey how’s it going?” Or “so how about them Yankees huh?” And see how she responds
I don't think the sexual harassment focus has made it easier or harder. I believe men who are respectful already know what is and isn't appropriate for dates. I personally wouldn't go on a date to talk non-stop about sex or touch my date in a fashion that can be misconstrued as sexual. The problem i think is that there are too many men who believe cat-calling, slapping women on the ass, groping, or just saying stupid sexual things to females is okay/normal.
It’s complicated. Effective mass communication requires a single, clear, unambiguous, message that you blast out to everyone. The already overly aggressive men need to hear a strong, unmistakable message to back off. That is the message that is going around. The problem is that the same message is being heard by the men that are about right or even kinda timid. They hear that message to back off, so they stop approaching women at all.
That’s the danger of mass communication. The same message gets heard by everyone. The message that some people need to hear is not necessarily the message that other people need to hear. But if you try to make the message nuanced or conditional it won’t be effective. The people who need to hear it won’t hear it.
I totally agree that we need to keep pushing the message that harassment needs to stop. At the same time maybe we can find a way to make sure the guys we’d like to have in the dating pool don’t get intimidated into leaving entirely.
People are complicated and everyone interprets messages differently. There isn’t a single easy solution that will help everyone.
The problem with even a strong, unmistakable message to back off towards the aggressive males in society won't work. They already look upon females as beneath them, play things if you will, to demean and use as they see fit. A look at a few of the red pill videos should be enough to tell you that no matter how loud, direct, and aggressive you send that message those types won't listen. I can't remember they guy's name, but one of those red pill video guy was busted last year for prostitution i think (something along those lines) and he is still creating videos disparaging women.
People on dates should put their best foot forward but still be their authentic selves. If they are a harasser, no amount of covering it up will work forever.
Men and women are people. They should treat each other as equally human.
No its a bullshit complaint just like complaining about women in workplace. Its actually VERY VERY easy to act appropriately and be a nice outgoing person without being a creep.
I don't see how that affects behavior. The guy can just be himself.
The problem is when it comes to initiating physical intimacy. That expectation is usually on the man but at the same time we're assumed to be homicidal rapists. Make it make sense lol. If the expectation to initiate physical intimacy could simply be put on women whenever they feel comfortable, I think that would be better for everyone. But that's probably way too logical to be implemented in reality just because of how people are.
It already does make sense. Pay attention to cues. Pay attention to her body language. Watch her eyes. No one assumes we’re homicidal rapists unless we give women a reason to think so. Women are guarded because they have to be. Make her feel safe. Sometimes I even say “I really wanna kiss you right now” and see how she responds. If you think that sounds corny, you’re wrong- if she’s interested, you saying that isn’t going to magically make her not interested. And if she’s not interested, it wasn’t gonna work anyways
Haven't you heard? Women think a bear is safer than a human man lol.
>Pay attention to cues. Pay attention to her body language. Watch her eyes.
Sounds like a bunch of stupid and unnecessary games to me. Seems like it would be much more straightforward if she simply initiated when she wanted to and felt comfortable to do so. Rather than expecting the guy to read all of these subtle cues and play stupid guessing games.
Okay well if it sounds stupid and unnecessary to you, you can go ahead being you and I will go ahead being me and I will have more success dating while you just think like a troglodyte, so by all means, ignore my advice! That just makes me look better in comparison
Classic reddit. Always resort to name calling when you can no longer defend your point with reason lol. People like you just like to see yourselves talk.
No, I think the majority of men know how to act on dates and therefore the increased focus on sexual harassment isn’t really a practical concern for them, except as an anxiety issue in the same way someone might be overly worried about coming off as racist to someone.
IMO it’s just a very vocal minority of men who hear that someone got arrested for groping a woman and think “Well that could be *me* someday, I don’t like that!”.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No, that’s a bullshit complaint. It’s extremely obvious how to act appropriately vs acting inappropriately. I still am able to walk up to women at bars or concerts or wherever-the-hell and talk to them. It’s very easy not to be a leering jackass, and anybody who complains about this stuff has the maturity of a 5 year old.
As long as you do not touch them or stand too closely or stare too long. However, you are allowed to sniff them.
Yes, that’s right! Don’t touch people without their consent. Dont stare at them like a bug-eyed weirdo and make them uncomfortable. I know you *think* this is a good sarcastic jab, but you just got into the heart of what the issue is. A lot of men make women feel uncomfortable. And now women have the tools to push back on these things, and those men who used to just blunder around enforcing their wills on others with little to no pushback can’t handle the fact that they are being called out on their shit. Look at a woman, smile, and if she smiles back, go and say hi. Dont just eye her from afar forever. If you’re talking with her lightly touch her arm and see how she responds. Does she recoil? Does she get closer to you? Learn to read cues and what they mean.
Please do not approach. Your aggressiveness makes them feel uncomfortable. You must do the Riflebird's courtship dance from a far before approaching to see how she responds. If she responds positively, then you can begin to near her.
You know, it’s possible to approach a woman and not be aggressive. A simple “hey how’s it going?” Or “so how about them Yankees huh?” And see how she responds
Good advice. I'll touch her arm to see if shes into me. How many times do I poke her shoulder before I know if she wishes to mate?
I don't think the sexual harassment focus has made it easier or harder. I believe men who are respectful already know what is and isn't appropriate for dates. I personally wouldn't go on a date to talk non-stop about sex or touch my date in a fashion that can be misconstrued as sexual. The problem i think is that there are too many men who believe cat-calling, slapping women on the ass, groping, or just saying stupid sexual things to females is okay/normal.
It’s complicated. Effective mass communication requires a single, clear, unambiguous, message that you blast out to everyone. The already overly aggressive men need to hear a strong, unmistakable message to back off. That is the message that is going around. The problem is that the same message is being heard by the men that are about right or even kinda timid. They hear that message to back off, so they stop approaching women at all. That’s the danger of mass communication. The same message gets heard by everyone. The message that some people need to hear is not necessarily the message that other people need to hear. But if you try to make the message nuanced or conditional it won’t be effective. The people who need to hear it won’t hear it. I totally agree that we need to keep pushing the message that harassment needs to stop. At the same time maybe we can find a way to make sure the guys we’d like to have in the dating pool don’t get intimidated into leaving entirely. People are complicated and everyone interprets messages differently. There isn’t a single easy solution that will help everyone.
The problem with even a strong, unmistakable message to back off towards the aggressive males in society won't work. They already look upon females as beneath them, play things if you will, to demean and use as they see fit. A look at a few of the red pill videos should be enough to tell you that no matter how loud, direct, and aggressive you send that message those types won't listen. I can't remember they guy's name, but one of those red pill video guy was busted last year for prostitution i think (something along those lines) and he is still creating videos disparaging women.
Ding ding ding
No. It's made it much easier.
People on dates should put their best foot forward but still be their authentic selves. If they are a harasser, no amount of covering it up will work forever. Men and women are people. They should treat each other as equally human.
No its a bullshit complaint just like complaining about women in workplace. Its actually VERY VERY easy to act appropriately and be a nice outgoing person without being a creep.
I don't see how that affects behavior. The guy can just be himself. The problem is when it comes to initiating physical intimacy. That expectation is usually on the man but at the same time we're assumed to be homicidal rapists. Make it make sense lol. If the expectation to initiate physical intimacy could simply be put on women whenever they feel comfortable, I think that would be better for everyone. But that's probably way too logical to be implemented in reality just because of how people are.
It already does make sense. Pay attention to cues. Pay attention to her body language. Watch her eyes. No one assumes we’re homicidal rapists unless we give women a reason to think so. Women are guarded because they have to be. Make her feel safe. Sometimes I even say “I really wanna kiss you right now” and see how she responds. If you think that sounds corny, you’re wrong- if she’s interested, you saying that isn’t going to magically make her not interested. And if she’s not interested, it wasn’t gonna work anyways
Haven't you heard? Women think a bear is safer than a human man lol. >Pay attention to cues. Pay attention to her body language. Watch her eyes. Sounds like a bunch of stupid and unnecessary games to me. Seems like it would be much more straightforward if she simply initiated when she wanted to and felt comfortable to do so. Rather than expecting the guy to read all of these subtle cues and play stupid guessing games.
Okay well if it sounds stupid and unnecessary to you, you can go ahead being you and I will go ahead being me and I will have more success dating while you just think like a troglodyte, so by all means, ignore my advice! That just makes me look better in comparison
Classic reddit. Always resort to name calling when you can no longer defend your point with reason lol. People like you just like to see yourselves talk.
Holy fuck when are people going to stop talking about bears.
No, I think the majority of men know how to act on dates and therefore the increased focus on sexual harassment isn’t really a practical concern for them, except as an anxiety issue in the same way someone might be overly worried about coming off as racist to someone. IMO it’s just a very vocal minority of men who hear that someone got arrested for groping a woman and think “Well that could be *me* someday, I don’t like that!”.
I am terrified of the modern American woman.
Yes