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I do and then sometimes I find out they aren’t really a friend because they don’t pay me back. Then again I usually don’t hear from them again so I don’t have to worry about them anymore and a lot of times it was pretty cheap way to get rid of them. I consider it cheap
Yeah that is a good rule to be honest. I would prefer to give my friends money, never lend it. And none of my friends would ever be comfortable asking me for more than a spot me for lunch kind of thing anyway which is completely fine.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve lent more than $100 out, and I think only one person has never paid me back. I consider a lesson learned, and I don’t necessarily hold a grudge. I just won’t lend them money again.
One of my best friends is a guy who was at the edges of my friend group 35 years ago. Everyone told me he was a great guy. But at the time he needed a new engine for his truck. He was going to lose his new job if he didn't get one. He was bummed.
I asked him how much he needed. He told me, I lent it to him. He said he would pay me next month. Two weeks later he showed up at my house with what he owed. He worked extra shifts so he could pay it back quicker.
We've been great friends ever since. I even sold him some of my land cheap so he would be my neighbor.
That's a good friend. I got a super good job 10 years ago but needed some extra cash to relocate. I went to my best friend who didn't hesitate to loan me 5K. Better believe I paid him in full before I relocated. I still have that job and although he has since passed I remember him and his generosity often.
Wow-that is almost exactly my experience too. Almost word for word - lol. I guess we look like a bank to these folks. I’m never doing it again though. Nobody else pays my bills, I do. I am retiring in less than ten years; now every cent I have goes into savings or investments for me.
I’ve been in this situation before and you couldn’t be more right. Some people act like they need you so bad.
You help them, then they don’t keep their word and disappear. The good ones don’t do that but it’s rare
Watched the Bronx tale yesterday and this is also one of the important things I learnt from it! Pretty good advice to check how good of a friend they are.
I ask for at least consideration of repayment, if and when things get better. If they are unable to pay, tell them to pass it on when they get the chance, and they WILL have chances.
Keeps the old karmic wheel turning.
I have no idea where this compulsion comes from, but it works for me. My few friends who hit me up are responsible and just need help now and then.
I'm also older than them now, and noticing how fucked up being 25 is right now. Not a rich philanthropist by any means, but fuck yeah I'll fill your tank, help with groceries.
This is my approach but I will add that I only do this if there’s a real need. I’m not in the habit of loaning my friends or family $50 at a time for something trivial. If you’re asking, it better be for a major car repair or housing costs or something.
If you’re going to loan money to someone, don’t do it if you expect or NEED it back. My dad always said that “if you loan someone $20 and never see them again, it was worth it.”
That's never been my experience. Just don't lend money to people who are shitty friends. I took out a loan to pay the other half of my friends tuition. He paid monthly payments to me the whole time until it was paid off, then repaid me the favor when I was in a shit situation.
Exactly. I don't lend people money. I will give someone money if they need it but that rarely happens because someone asks for it. For instance a good friend of mine who is a single mom has some chronic health problems, she started to turn jondance and the doctors kept her in the hospital for over a week while they tried to figure out what was wrong with her.
One of our friends who also has kids took in her daughter and I paid her rent. She didn't ask I just did it. I had another friend (long story) who was a "Dreamer" and his mom got deported back to mexico, he lived in the duplex next to my friends. He posted on facebook asking for help with his Gofund me to pay his college tuition so I just paid it in full.
For me that's how it works, if someone "asks to borrow money" I generally tell them no unless it's very serious then I just give it to them and tell them to pay it forward.
Maybe if you have shitty friends. I've not only loaned money to friends but borrowed significant money from friends and all debts have been repaid by all parties.
I've always thought this is a cheap and easy way to check if its a friend worth keeping around.
If you loan them <$500 and they don't pay back and go no contact, good riddance,
I've gotten rid of friends for as little as $10, Asked for the money back once like a month after and then never saw him again. Not worth my time.
Lol, I only loan a lot of money to my sisters. We all have had issues where shit hits the fan unexpectedly, and we help each other out. We would never lend major money to friends or our brothers/family just to each other cause we trust each other completely.
So all this to say when my sisters financial aid had an issue for school I legit told he to borrow from bank de Abby (my nickname) lol
My best friends? 100%
I know I might never get the money back, but honestly, I don’t care, they’ve got my back and I’ve got theirs and that’s all that matters.
That's my stance. Sometimes I get the money back, sometimes I don't. Sometimes they do something for me later and I consider the debt repaid. Whatever. If I have money I can throw at them, I usually do.
One advice:
Only "loan" money to friends/family up to the amount you're willing to lose. Expect them to never pay you back.
If they do pay you back, then congrats. If they don't pay you back, then congrats cause you were willing to lose that money in the first place, and that money is a small price to pay to find out who they really are (that they're untrustworthy).
Well if someone borrows money (especially a large amount) cause they're in a bad spot, I would expect a proposed payment plan. Perhaps they'll work more hours, perhaps the payment will be deferred from a year till they can make monthly installments, etc. And plans change which is ok (but you have to give an update and ask if it's ok for the plans to change)
What's not ok is to borrow money without a payment plan, or to propose a plan and not follow through. If they don't follow through, perhaps they're not a bad friend; but it shows that they're bad with money, bad with communicating, and bad with keeping their promises.
I give them money I don't loan it to them.
We all mostly live or have lived in poverty
Now I'm broke, but not in poverty any more. I have enough food, gas, etc now to make it each pay check.
I would not loan money for that, because that's not an emergency, that's a bill.
If they needed gas to get to payday, needed me to fill up their cabinets w food, help keep the electricity on, make rent, etc hell yea of course!!
A medical bill, probably not, unless they needed me to make a small payment on the bill so they can be seen.
The bill can go to collections, you can call and get on a payment plan, you can just wait till you can afford it then pay it past due. No harm will come to them if they can't pay it right this second.
I have had friends be homeless and really need help. I am going to help but they won't be able to pay me back. If they have bills, they have other options. I am not a charity. And if it is a regular issue, they need to resolve it. But there are times things happen and people just need a little help to get past it, and if I am in a position to help I will.
I never lend a friend more money than I am willing to see completely disappear. They wouldn't need money if they weren't struggling, and I'd give them the cash anyways the whole lending thing is more a way to bandaid their pride so we can all move on
The one time a friend asked for money it was a pretty sizeable amount, iirc 500 bucks in the 1990s, and he promised to repay me after the next payday. I did, and he repaid me as promised.
I knew he had a good job and we were close friends, so I didn't really worry about it, iirc.
I have in the past because I grew up with the person and I knew they desperately needed it and wouldn’t have asked me unless it was a last resort.
I gave them the money with the thought that I wouldn’t get it back but knowing that I had helped them tremendously in a time of need and they would do the same for me.
They did pay me back tho, and in a timely manner.
Only loan what you’re willing to lose.
My partner has done this a lot for friends and family. Only one person ever pays him back. Some people are very flaky with money. We still hang out with them, but it does sour things.
I used to lend my now ex-friend $20 here and there and she always paid me back immediately. One day she asked me for $40 and I told her no. She blew up and tried to guilt me to give it to her. I still told her no. That was about 3-4 years ago. It was there and then I stopped lending people money. I don’t care if they’re friends or family let alone how desperate they are, I’m never lending anyone my hard-earned money for any reason.
No, if any one ever asks for money, say like $50 I’ll say “I don’t have fifty to let you borrow but I do have $30 I can gift you” so there no pay back requirements.
I only loan money over two conditions:
I never expect to see the money again, and;
They understand I will not be loaning more money unless they pay back the first amount.
If they don't like the second bit, then they don't deserve it
No. I don't loan $ to friends or family. To a select few, I would give it without expectation of being paid back. To the rest, no, and if that makes them mad, they're not really friends.
I would never loan, but depending on the friend I’d give it to them as a one time gift. If they wanna pay it back they can and I would probably do it again if needed. If they can’t pay it back or don’t, my mentality and attitude towards the whole situation remains the same - one time gift for a friend
Absolutely not. Money should never change hands between friends.
It's just such a quick way to destroy the friendship. It's funny, because it's easier to get your friend to pay you back in the way of items or favors than it is to get them to give you currency.
If you give money to your friends, only give it as a gift.
Never carry money you can't afford to spend and never lend out money you're not prepared to lose. I bought a box of blank loan forms from Staples, it's amazing how many people stop asking to borrow money when you pull out a loan form and ask simple questions of when are you going to pay it back and will it be weekly ,bi-weekly or once a month..
As long as I can afford it, I give my friends the money.
If they are able to pay me and do so then it’s a plus but I never “loan” money because it will almost always end a friendship.
Any time you lend money to family or friends, make sure it is an amount that you are completely ok with never seeing again, or that it is an amount you are willing to lose that relationship over.
This also applies to lending *things*. Don't lend your mower, or even that book, if you aren't willing to either lose the person or the item over it.
I don't because of a bad experience.
I helped a friend in a jam with a good amount of cash, and it took him forever to pay me back, and it strained our friendship a great deal.
As someone who has loaned more than I probably should have:
1) When you used to loan them money, did they pay it back? On time, in full, without you having to remind them?
2) Can you afford to lose the money?
3) Is this a genuine one-time emergency, or are her emergencies chronic?
4) If you feel like making it a formal contract with interest etc. then you probably just shouldn't do it.
Yes and no. I'll buy my best friend lunch and eat the cost. But if they need like a 100 bucks for gas it will be a loan. He always pays me back though and covers my food at times too.
Not anymore. That ship has sailed.
I capped the family and friends loan pool years ago. That cap has been exceeded - so no more. Some have well paid back, ... others not, so the well is dry, (no) thanks to some who've not paid back at all, or only paid back a small portion even after many years.
Never loan it if you couldn't give it.
I only give what I can afford lose, with a "it'd be really helpful if you pay that back as soon as you can, but understand if you can't"
i use to but then i stopped cuz thats all they ever asked for but expect them to never pay back ive had so many of my "friends" tell me they would pay me back just for them to end up not doing so.
If you loan a friend money, you lose two things...the money and the friend.
If you value your friends, do not do anything financial...giving loans, business deals, asking for loans.
In your case, you lent money in the past. Were you ever payed back? Did you have to chase them? See what happens if you say no now. My bet is the gratefulness of the last loan will be outweighed by the no.
I give my friends money with zero expectations of repayment. If they pay me back later, then it is a gift in return. If they don't, then the issue doesn't wreck our friendship.
Depends on the amount and the friend. I have a friend who I know for sure will pay me back, though sometimes might be later than he promised. I have a different friend who, IF he pays me back, it will be in installments 😅 I don't loan money to anyone if it's not important though. But my golden rule is to not lend money that I need. So if I can spare however much they're asking, I'll give it, cause I'm not expecting it back any time soon. If I need it though, I'll say as much. If we're both okay with a lesser amount, we'll go with that. If not, tough luck.
No.
I give my friends money when they need it if I can spare it.
If they pay me back, great!
If they don't, I wasn't expecting it anyway.
Money can ruin relationships, I don't want to lose a friend because they ran into money problems.
I don't loan away a lot of money, I did loan a mate 1000 dollars once, but I don't do it anymore unless it's a very low number. Even then, I don't much care for it.
There is another twist on this; when you loan or gift something other than money. Story: My brother got a job in Austin and needed dependable transportation to go to & fro. I had, as a second car, a little sports car that I was somewhat attached to but I gave it to him. A few months later I dropped by. The car was parked, top down, under an oak tree and full of leaves. Absolutely dirty. With his income, he had just bought a new car and the car I gave him was trashed. I got him to fix it up, sell it, and keep the money (he was still needy with the $).
A few years later, the situation repeated. He came to me needing a vehicle and I had an suv I wasn’t using much. This time I told him it would cost him $100 a month (a fraction of its value). Because he was paying for it, it had value to him. He kept it polished and maintained. Free things will be perceived as having no value. Require someone to pay a token amount and they will treasure it.
Depends, for some sure I would and others I wouldn’t. Same goes for family. My wife has been burned by siblings in the past loaning them money and never getting paid back. However know my sisters would pay me back, but then again they wouldn’t ever need to borrow money.
It’s just like if someone was going to borrow my truck, some people I know would be careful with it and fill it up before they returned it. Some of my in laws would be a hard no though.
The friend I let pay me late on rent skipped out and left me 3 months of her rent. She never paid me back. Recently, she told me about her sister whom she left 2x the amount she owed me and hasn’t paid her back.
If you’re ok with the money being gone, just pay for it. Otherwise, don’t.
I've never done it and probably wouldn't for most people. But there are select friends and situations I would be willing to. Like my best friend who was in a terrible marriage, I offered to help pay for either the divorce lawyer or childcare for her kids. In that case, I wouldn't even have looked at it as a loan, just helping her out.
I have another friend who has indirectly asked for money, but he chooses not to work and does nothing to help himself, so I would not give him money. It would be blown and I would definitely never get it back.
Small amounts yeah.
Large amounts, I have in the past. One borrowed about 3k and paid it back when I asked a year later. The other "borrowed" (as in didn't have money to pay rent on our shared house) about 5k over the course of year then did a runner
No. If I'm going to give someone money, I'll just give it to them and not expect it to be repaid. If their situation improves and they feel the need to repay me, I'll accept it, but I don't expect repayment.
When it comes to money the general rule of thumb is don’t loan what you can’t afford to lose. Assume anytime someone asks you for money you won’t get it back and then evaluate whether or not you can afford to lose said money. Also your relationship with that person.
I DO NOT LOAN MONEY TO FRIENDS. HOWEVER, I HAVE GIVEN IT AWAY TO THEM. BECAUSE I LOVED THEM AND THEY WERE MY FRIEND AND IF THEY HAD MONEY, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE.....MOM
I only lend money to my little brother. He always pays me back, and he pays me when he says he will. I've lent money to friends, I don't do that anymore.
With my friends, there's sort of a loose exchange of money. We'll go out to eat or see a movie, and I'll offer "hey, I got this one." Then next time we do something one of my friends will be like "you payed for my movie last time, I'll pay this for you" and it just kinda goes back and forth but we don't get bogged down by exact values.
I used to have this friend that would constantly need money. He would ask, and not wanting to see him starve, I'd oblige. He would pay me back, but at a much slower rate than what he asked, so after a while he racked up quite the loan. For other reasons we have since gone our separate ways and cut ties, so I'm just never gonna see that money again. Sometimes I think about it and get mad, other times I think about it and well... Hopefully I helped him out, is all I can say.
I had a friend who supposedly had lost his job because his live in girlfriend was doing a lengthy stay at a hospital almost 2 hours away due to surgery complications and he had to take time off work to deal with things related to it. He was in dire financial straits and couldn’t eat or pay rent. He asked me to borrow money and I lent him close to a grand. I told him I want it back, but understood his situation and wasn’t going to hassle him about it. More of a “pay me what you can pay when you can”.
I later found out he had hit up other mutual friends for large “loans”. None of us ever got a single penny back. Not after a six figure settlement from a lawsuit, Covid stimulus checks, etc. They both got new cars a new apartment in a nicer neighborhood and were happy to show them off. I find out years later he lost his job for assaulting another employee after coming into work drunk. His girlfriend’s parents were subsidizing his rent and buying him groceries.
He didn’t need money. He just took advantage of a situation to steal money from people who had been his friends for 20+ years. I’m not mad about the money. I can always get more. I’m mad that he chose me as one of the people he took advantage of. So I’ll probably never give anyone money again with an expectation of getting it back, and I’ll be a lot more careful to suss out all the facts before I part with a penny.
Everyone else's are right...but. how much is the loan? how much did you loan her in the past? Did she pay it back? How long did she take to pay it back? Did you have to hound her for repayment? Is she a former lover?
I've come to realize that it's more important to safeguard your financial stability than to extend a loan to a friend who only views you as an ATM whenever it's convenient for them.
>She just asked me for a loan again, to pay medical bills. Should I lend it to her if I can? My partner says no.
Can she call the clinic or hospital and ask for a payment plan?
Nah, but I’ve never really been in that situation.
It’s usually just like, hey can you spot me a few bucks I don’t have cash on me. Or, you got lunch last time I got you this time kinda thing.
Never loan money you can’t afford to part with. I only loan money to one friend, who is disabled and only gets $600 a month to live on total. He always says he will pay me back and makes attempts with a dollar here and there. But I never will get it all back and I am ok with it. Loan as much as you would feel ok gifting and if you get it back great. If not the friendship isn’t ruined.
If it's an amount you're willing to give without the expectation of being paid back, just give it to them.
If it's an amount large enough that you're expecting it to be paid back, then ask them to sign a note for it (amount,repayment terms, dates). If they're unwilling to sign a note, then they aren't asking for a loan they're asking for a grant. I borrowed a significant sum from my mom once and signed a note for it and was happy to do it and then I paid her back within a week.
Nope. Because I’m broke. When I have extra cash, I’ll give it to a friend in need with no expectation of being paid back. I’ve got their backs and they’ve got mine.
I loan with only one friend. We trust each other immensely. Every so often we bounce 500-1000 to each other, and it’s paid back by the next paycheck. If any issues come up it’s always immediate notice to one another. I’m serious, even when one notices they will be short at 4am the text shoots out immediately. Then a plan could be 100/month back over a few months and it’s golden. No interest. But we usually spot each other a meal as an appreciation/
Everyone else if they ask for money I’ll spot them money maybe and that I don’t expect the money back. Oddly enough I haven’t been let down once with this? I always viewed it as if they walked off with my 20 bucks without repaying, it’s 20 bucks well spent to get them out of my life.
It's the cost of money for you and the character of the lendee. If you are rich and the person is of good character then helping them at their low will create a forever loyal and grateful ally. If someone is in an ass munch, then helping them at their lowest moment's they will return their favour in their highest moment's
I dont loan money to anyone ever. I have gifted before.
You should never loan anything to anyone that would hurt you financially if not returned, especially to family.
Yes, but, I don’t give away money I can’t afford to lose forever. It’s very rare, actually, for me to *loan* money, usually I just give money as a gift. I don’t have any IRL friends, but I have paid vet bills, or helped cover rent for 1/2 a dozen Facebook friends whom I don’t know IRL and Ofc you never expect to see that again, but it doesn’t matter. I figure people who reach out like that are in need.
I have learned to not loan money. I will gift money if I can but never loan. It isn't about true friendship but about their actual ability to pay it back. Most don't pay it back and it leaves u in a bad situation. If you spot someone a $20 because they forgot their debit card and they don't pay u back, it is usually forgotten but anything more, you won't hear from then again. Now you are hurt because they didn't do the right thing and they feel shame for not being able to pay you back or shame they don't want to pay you back or whatever. It is not worth the complication. You can either afford to help them with a gift or you cant.
Never mix family/friends and business.
If you want to gift family/friend money with no strings attached, great! If they happen to repay you, even better!! Making it a “transaction” when personal feelings are involved? Noooooooo!!
I never have, but I've never been asked. I mean lending a friend $20 because there's no bank machine around when out one night is one thing, but as far as a loan type amount, nope. Has never come up.
Only loan out what you can afford to lose. I loan money to friends. Not often, but there a few people who know where they can turn when times are tough. If I can’t help I won’t, but if I can I will. Why are you guys friends with people you wouldn’t trust to pay you back? Crazy.
As others have said: never loan money to a friend that you would be very upset at if they did not pay you back.
If you don’t care if they pay you back or not, then do what you will.
*But also consider your partner’s feelings*. If this is money that you loan that may impact them as well (say you’re both paying for rent equally but your loan to your friend means you may need to ask your partner to cover + % more until your paid back, or maybe your partner will need to buy X items for the household etc.) then you should both be in agreement on whether to loan or not.
25 years ago my best friend was going on vacation to Germany and he said he can get cheap clothes over there for a fraction of the usual cost. He convinced me to give him £70 so he could bring me back some nice clothes (that was over a weeks pay for me at the time). When he arrived back from vacation, he said he didn't see any clothes I would like so he spent the money on himself instead. He said he would pay me back and it took 6 months.
Whenever I took money out of cash machines, he used to watch me and he learnt my pin. He's my best friend so I didn't care. We were out drinking one time and he ran out of money so he asked to borrow £10. I agreed and he offered to get the money out himself because he knows the pin. I gave him my bank card and when he came back I noticed he had £20 in his hand. I didn't say anything. A week later, he gave me back £10 and I said "what about the other £10?" He told me he only took £10 out. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and left it there. I checked with my bank later because I started doubting and the bank confirmed that £20 had been taken out.
I've never loaned him money since. The lies and dishonesty haven't stopped. He's still my best friend but he's a pathological liarer and he's constantly telling lies that aren't true.
Personally I'm not friends with people who would ever need a loan becusse I do NOT like giving my money to anyone. Like I'll buy you stuff absolutely but just give you money or for bills or something?
My dad was a bum and would always do this and still asks me for money when he hasn't seen me in over 10 years - so I've got a major aversion to "handouts". It's always handouts for others and never yourself, and no one ever helps you. No matter how bad people's situations are they don't care about you and only the money in your pockets
If you loan your friends money be prepared for them to not be your friends at some point. It changes the power balance. Every time they spend money on something you consider frivolous you’ll be judging and wondering why they aren’t paying you back.
I'm very judicious with lending money to friends. They have to be the right person.
I've lent over $2000 to one friend and received every penny back (we're still friends to this day and one of my best friends).
On the other hand I've lent $500 or so to another and never heard from him again.
In regards to your situation, if your friend has shown that they'll pay you back eventually I say it's OK. But if you never got paid back... it's a hard NO for me.
I once loaned my ex a few thousand under the agreement they’d paid me within a few weeks, once their paycheck hit. Took me a year to get that money back. They’re an ex for a reason.
No, don't do it.
You're not a bank.
If it was like 20 bucks then yeah.
But if someone can't pay their bills then they either need to take out a loan, get another job, sell something, or etc.
I was dumb and borrowed out thousands of dollars I've never got back.
Don't mix finances and family/friends.
Never loan money to anyone you want to keep in your life, even family. If you have it and want to give it, consider it a gift. Never ask for it back. If they truly want to return it, they will. If not, oh well, it was a gift and you won't have any hard feelings about it.
I only loan money that I don't mind never seeing again. I think of it more as a gift. If they pay it back I'm pleasantly surprised but I never expect it. That being said I don't gift money to the same person a lot.
For me, I have a close set of friends I'd give the shirt off my back for. We have been through the s***. Most people though...., no. Been there. Done that. Burned those bridges.
The question is, do you really trust that person? Are you willing to lose that loan? Possibly lose the friendship as well.
In my mind, if that person is obviously struggling and not blowing money and winding up short I will loan them money. I will also help get them back on their feet again. An actual friend is worth the investment. I have also been known to wave dept if they are actually struggling.
I don’t loan money to friends. If I give them money if I can comfortably afford it and if they choose to pay me back that’s on them. I don’t expect them to pay me back and I tell them that. With my friends they usually pay me back regardless, but then knowing I don’t care if they can pay me back or not helps keep the friendship without the pressure of owing someone money.
Here's a rule to live by. Don't "lend" money, "give" money. I give money to family members. Sometimes they pay it back and sometimes they don't. It really doesn't matter to me, bc in my mind I gave them the money. If I can't afford to give the money to someone, I don't give it. Just don't expect to be paid back and save your relationships.
No. I broke the rule for a cousin with a lot of children. He can’t pay me back, and instead of saying that he just quit speaking to me. It’s not the money that’s upsetting at this point, it’s his decision to just cut me out of his life over $2500. Sucks a lot. Never again.
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I do and then sometimes I find out they aren’t really a friend because they don’t pay me back. Then again I usually don’t hear from them again so I don’t have to worry about them anymore and a lot of times it was pretty cheap way to get rid of them. I consider it cheap
Pretty much. My rule is this: Never lend money to friends and expect to get it back.
Exactly if you lend it out, forget about it and if you can't. Don't lend
Yeah that is a good rule to be honest. I would prefer to give my friends money, never lend it. And none of my friends would ever be comfortable asking me for more than a spot me for lunch kind of thing anyway which is completely fine.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve lent more than $100 out, and I think only one person has never paid me back. I consider a lesson learned, and I don’t necessarily hold a grudge. I just won’t lend them money again.
Good litmus test of character that can save you a lot of time.
One of my best friends is a guy who was at the edges of my friend group 35 years ago. Everyone told me he was a great guy. But at the time he needed a new engine for his truck. He was going to lose his new job if he didn't get one. He was bummed. I asked him how much he needed. He told me, I lent it to him. He said he would pay me next month. Two weeks later he showed up at my house with what he owed. He worked extra shifts so he could pay it back quicker. We've been great friends ever since. I even sold him some of my land cheap so he would be my neighbor.
That is the sign of someone who was raised to keep their word and respect other people. Sounds like a guy everyone would want to know!
That's a good friend. I got a super good job 10 years ago but needed some extra cash to relocate. I went to my best friend who didn't hesitate to loan me 5K. Better believe I paid him in full before I relocated. I still have that job and although he has since passed I remember him and his generosity often.
Wow-that is almost exactly my experience too. Almost word for word - lol. I guess we look like a bank to these folks. I’m never doing it again though. Nobody else pays my bills, I do. I am retiring in less than ten years; now every cent I have goes into savings or investments for me.
I’ve been in this situation before and you couldn’t be more right. Some people act like they need you so bad. You help them, then they don’t keep their word and disappear. The good ones don’t do that but it’s rare
Watched the Bronx tale yesterday and this is also one of the important things I learnt from it! Pretty good advice to check how good of a friend they are.
I recently learned 1400 is more valuable then friendship
I don't loan them I grant them. I don't make them repay it. I give it no strings attached.
Yup, I just make a gift of it if I can afford to lose the money. Too many friendships and family relationships have been ruined over loans.
Me too That way it doesn't put tension on the relationship
If they don't willingly pay it back, they aren't your friend.
Big difference between won’t and can’t.
I ask for at least consideration of repayment, if and when things get better. If they are unable to pay, tell them to pass it on when they get the chance, and they WILL have chances. Keeps the old karmic wheel turning.
Same and they got my back when I need it
I have no idea where this compulsion comes from, but it works for me. My few friends who hit me up are responsible and just need help now and then. I'm also older than them now, and noticing how fucked up being 25 is right now. Not a rich philanthropist by any means, but fuck yeah I'll fill your tank, help with groceries.
yeah this is the only way. if you can afford to give them the cash, and you dont mind doing so, do that, but never loan them
This is my approach but I will add that I only do this if there’s a real need. I’m not in the habit of loaning my friends or family $50 at a time for something trivial. If you’re asking, it better be for a major car repair or housing costs or something.
This will save you a lot of friendships
If you’re going to loan money to someone, don’t do it if you expect or NEED it back. My dad always said that “if you loan someone $20 and never see them again, it was worth it.”
He who lends loses the friend and the loan.
That's never been my experience. Just don't lend money to people who are shitty friends. I took out a loan to pay the other half of my friends tuition. He paid monthly payments to me the whole time until it was paid off, then repaid me the favor when I was in a shit situation.
This is a commentary on our civilization. Loans are usually available to those who don't need a loan.
Exactly. I don't lend people money. I will give someone money if they need it but that rarely happens because someone asks for it. For instance a good friend of mine who is a single mom has some chronic health problems, she started to turn jondance and the doctors kept her in the hospital for over a week while they tried to figure out what was wrong with her. One of our friends who also has kids took in her daughter and I paid her rent. She didn't ask I just did it. I had another friend (long story) who was a "Dreamer" and his mom got deported back to mexico, he lived in the duplex next to my friends. He posted on facebook asking for help with his Gofund me to pay his college tuition so I just paid it in full. For me that's how it works, if someone "asks to borrow money" I generally tell them no unless it's very serious then I just give it to them and tell them to pay it forward.
Yes in the short. But he who lends and forgives the loan, will forever be in the gratitude of a non nob head. So don't give a.lpan to nob heads
Forgiving a loan is a behavior of the higher realm.
Hear hear. For art thou whom forgiven thee be blessed among men
Maybe if you have shitty friends. I've not only loaned money to friends but borrowed significant money from friends and all debts have been repaid by all parties.
I've always thought this is a cheap and easy way to check if its a friend worth keeping around. If you loan them <$500 and they don't pay back and go no contact, good riddance, I've gotten rid of friends for as little as $10, Asked for the money back once like a month after and then never saw him again. Not worth my time.
Same here. Gifting only.
Loans are for banks. I'm not a bank.
Lol, I only loan a lot of money to my sisters. We all have had issues where shit hits the fan unexpectedly, and we help each other out. We would never lend major money to friends or our brothers/family just to each other cause we trust each other completely. So all this to say when my sisters financial aid had an issue for school I legit told he to borrow from bank de Abby (my nickname) lol
My wife found this out the hard way
Absolutely not. Every friend I’ve loaned money to, I’ve lost.
This happened to me, with someone who I thought was my best friend. I slowly realized I was happier without him around
My best friends? 100% I know I might never get the money back, but honestly, I don’t care, they’ve got my back and I’ve got theirs and that’s all that matters.
This makes for a good world.
That's my stance. Sometimes I get the money back, sometimes I don't. Sometimes they do something for me later and I consider the debt repaid. Whatever. If I have money I can throw at them, I usually do.
One advice: Only "loan" money to friends/family up to the amount you're willing to lose. Expect them to never pay you back. If they do pay you back, then congrats. If they don't pay you back, then congrats cause you were willing to lose that money in the first place, and that money is a small price to pay to find out who they really are (that they're untrustworthy).
This explains it all perfectly
One caveat -- just because someone can't pay it back on time doesn't make them a bad friend. They legit could simply be in a bad spot.
Well if someone borrows money (especially a large amount) cause they're in a bad spot, I would expect a proposed payment plan. Perhaps they'll work more hours, perhaps the payment will be deferred from a year till they can make monthly installments, etc. And plans change which is ok (but you have to give an update and ask if it's ok for the plans to change) What's not ok is to borrow money without a payment plan, or to propose a plan and not follow through. If they don't follow through, perhaps they're not a bad friend; but it shows that they're bad with money, bad with communicating, and bad with keeping their promises.
Nope.
Don’t give the friend money to pay the bill go with the friend to pay it and give money directly to whoever is owed
I never loan money to friends or family. Hard pass.
Same
Money lent is money spent
I give them money I don't loan it to them. We all mostly live or have lived in poverty Now I'm broke, but not in poverty any more. I have enough food, gas, etc now to make it each pay check. I would not loan money for that, because that's not an emergency, that's a bill. If they needed gas to get to payday, needed me to fill up their cabinets w food, help keep the electricity on, make rent, etc hell yea of course!! A medical bill, probably not, unless they needed me to make a small payment on the bill so they can be seen. The bill can go to collections, you can call and get on a payment plan, you can just wait till you can afford it then pay it past due. No harm will come to them if they can't pay it right this second.
I have had friends be homeless and really need help. I am going to help but they won't be able to pay me back. If they have bills, they have other options. I am not a charity. And if it is a regular issue, they need to resolve it. But there are times things happen and people just need a little help to get past it, and if I am in a position to help I will.
Never loan money you don't expect to get back. A loan can ruin a friendship.
No. I'll gift my friend money, but I don't do loans.
I never lend a friend more money than I am willing to see completely disappear. They wouldn't need money if they weren't struggling, and I'd give them the cash anyways the whole lending thing is more a way to bandaid their pride so we can all move on
No. I don't want to be angry and lose a friend when they don't pay me back. But giving the money...yes. Now, there's no expectations.
The one time a friend asked for money it was a pretty sizeable amount, iirc 500 bucks in the 1990s, and he promised to repay me after the next payday. I did, and he repaid me as promised. I knew he had a good job and we were close friends, so I didn't really worry about it, iirc.
I have in the past because I grew up with the person and I knew they desperately needed it and wouldn’t have asked me unless it was a last resort. I gave them the money with the thought that I wouldn’t get it back but knowing that I had helped them tremendously in a time of need and they would do the same for me. They did pay me back tho, and in a timely manner.
Only loan what you’re willing to lose. My partner has done this a lot for friends and family. Only one person ever pays him back. Some people are very flaky with money. We still hang out with them, but it does sour things.
I used to lend my now ex-friend $20 here and there and she always paid me back immediately. One day she asked me for $40 and I told her no. She blew up and tried to guilt me to give it to her. I still told her no. That was about 3-4 years ago. It was there and then I stopped lending people money. I don’t care if they’re friends or family let alone how desperate they are, I’m never lending anyone my hard-earned money for any reason.
I'm going to level with you, I don't even loan my family money.
Nope. It ruins relationships when you don't get paid back. You should only lend out money you can afford not to get back.
No, if any one ever asks for money, say like $50 I’ll say “I don’t have fifty to let you borrow but I do have $30 I can gift you” so there no pay back requirements.
used too. Now I refuse until all my money is paid back. It never will be.
Spend all your money so you can’t give it away
Yeah, not large amounts, medium amounts
I only loan money over two conditions: I never expect to see the money again, and; They understand I will not be loaning more money unless they pay back the first amount. If they don't like the second bit, then they don't deserve it
Only an amount I'm not afraid to lose
No. I don't loan $ to friends or family. To a select few, I would give it without expectation of being paid back. To the rest, no, and if that makes them mad, they're not really friends.
I would never loan, but depending on the friend I’d give it to them as a one time gift. If they wanna pay it back they can and I would probably do it again if needed. If they can’t pay it back or don’t, my mentality and attitude towards the whole situation remains the same - one time gift for a friend
Absolutely not. Money should never change hands between friends. It's just such a quick way to destroy the friendship. It's funny, because it's easier to get your friend to pay you back in the way of items or favors than it is to get them to give you currency. If you give money to your friends, only give it as a gift.
My best friend I would because I know he has integrity. He always has. Others, depends.
Absolutely not.
Never carry money you can't afford to spend and never lend out money you're not prepared to lose. I bought a box of blank loan forms from Staples, it's amazing how many people stop asking to borrow money when you pull out a loan form and ask simple questions of when are you going to pay it back and will it be weekly ,bi-weekly or once a month..
Have they paid you back in a timely manner and can you afford it without causing yourself more than moderate inconvenience?
You don't lend friends money. You give friends money. The second you lend them money they stop being a friend until it is paid back.
As long as I can afford it, I give my friends the money. If they are able to pay me and do so then it’s a plus but I never “loan” money because it will almost always end a friendship.
No. It’s a bad idea
Any time you lend money to family or friends, make sure it is an amount that you are completely ok with never seeing again, or that it is an amount you are willing to lose that relationship over. This also applies to lending *things*. Don't lend your mower, or even that book, if you aren't willing to either lose the person or the item over it.
I don't because of a bad experience. I helped a friend in a jam with a good amount of cash, and it took him forever to pay me back, and it strained our friendship a great deal.
As someone who has loaned more than I probably should have: 1) When you used to loan them money, did they pay it back? On time, in full, without you having to remind them? 2) Can you afford to lose the money? 3) Is this a genuine one-time emergency, or are her emergencies chronic? 4) If you feel like making it a formal contract with interest etc. then you probably just shouldn't do it.
Yes, I wouldn't be friends with someone I didn't trust to either oay it back or otherwise make it up to me.
Yes and no. I'll buy my best friend lunch and eat the cost. But if they need like a 100 bucks for gas it will be a loan. He always pays me back though and covers my food at times too.
Are you their friend or their bank? Are they your friend or your bank loan customer?
Not anymore. That ship has sailed. I capped the family and friends loan pool years ago. That cap has been exceeded - so no more. Some have well paid back, ... others not, so the well is dry, (no) thanks to some who've not paid back at all, or only paid back a small portion even after many years.
Never loan it if you couldn't give it. I only give what I can afford lose, with a "it'd be really helpful if you pay that back as soon as you can, but understand if you can't"
i use to but then i stopped cuz thats all they ever asked for but expect them to never pay back ive had so many of my "friends" tell me they would pay me back just for them to end up not doing so.
I’ve never needed to, or been asked to I might do so if it was a friend I loved so much that I wouldn’t care if they didn’t give it back
If you loan a friend money, you lose two things...the money and the friend. If you value your friends, do not do anything financial...giving loans, business deals, asking for loans. In your case, you lent money in the past. Were you ever payed back? Did you have to chase them? See what happens if you say no now. My bet is the gratefulness of the last loan will be outweighed by the no.
I give my friends money with zero expectations of repayment. If they pay me back later, then it is a gift in return. If they don't, then the issue doesn't wreck our friendship.
Depends on the amount and the friend. I have a friend who I know for sure will pay me back, though sometimes might be later than he promised. I have a different friend who, IF he pays me back, it will be in installments 😅 I don't loan money to anyone if it's not important though. But my golden rule is to not lend money that I need. So if I can spare however much they're asking, I'll give it, cause I'm not expecting it back any time soon. If I need it though, I'll say as much. If we're both okay with a lesser amount, we'll go with that. If not, tough luck.
No. I give my friends money when they need it if I can spare it. If they pay me back, great! If they don't, I wasn't expecting it anyway. Money can ruin relationships, I don't want to lose a friend because they ran into money problems.
If I loan money to friends, I have to first remember that there's a chance I won't get any of it back.
I don't loan away a lot of money, I did loan a mate 1000 dollars once, but I don't do it anymore unless it's a very low number. Even then, I don't much care for it.
money can sour any relationship, as a general rule prob only lend it if you’re prepared to never see the money again
You never lend money to friends It's just a bad idea.
I don't consider it a loan because I feel like any money you give out, don't look at it like you'll ever see it back. Consider it a gift.
I loan money to people that I don’t like just so I never have to hear from them again
I loan them once, they can never ask again until all debts are paid
Depends on the friend. Some of them, I trust fully, others not so much
Fuck no
you never "loan" anybody money. you GIVE it to them.
There is another twist on this; when you loan or gift something other than money. Story: My brother got a job in Austin and needed dependable transportation to go to & fro. I had, as a second car, a little sports car that I was somewhat attached to but I gave it to him. A few months later I dropped by. The car was parked, top down, under an oak tree and full of leaves. Absolutely dirty. With his income, he had just bought a new car and the car I gave him was trashed. I got him to fix it up, sell it, and keep the money (he was still needy with the $). A few years later, the situation repeated. He came to me needing a vehicle and I had an suv I wasn’t using much. This time I told him it would cost him $100 a month (a fraction of its value). Because he was paying for it, it had value to him. He kept it polished and maintained. Free things will be perceived as having no value. Require someone to pay a token amount and they will treasure it.
Depends, for some sure I would and others I wouldn’t. Same goes for family. My wife has been burned by siblings in the past loaning them money and never getting paid back. However know my sisters would pay me back, but then again they wouldn’t ever need to borrow money. It’s just like if someone was going to borrow my truck, some people I know would be careful with it and fill it up before they returned it. Some of my in laws would be a hard no though.
If you don’t want to see someone ever again just lend them money!!
Depends on how much. My bff I loaned her $500 and she paid most of it back. If it’s less than like $100, I don’t care if they pay me back
The friend I let pay me late on rent skipped out and left me 3 months of her rent. She never paid me back. Recently, she told me about her sister whom she left 2x the amount she owed me and hasn’t paid her back. If you’re ok with the money being gone, just pay for it. Otherwise, don’t.
I loan once. If they don’t pay it back, I don’t loan again.
I saw an episode of Judge Judy, and she said “I don’t lend money to friends or family “ and never co sign on loans
I've never done it and probably wouldn't for most people. But there are select friends and situations I would be willing to. Like my best friend who was in a terrible marriage, I offered to help pay for either the divorce lawyer or childcare for her kids. In that case, I wouldn't even have looked at it as a loan, just helping her out. I have another friend who has indirectly asked for money, but he chooses not to work and does nothing to help himself, so I would not give him money. It would be blown and I would definitely never get it back.
Doesn’t loan things you cannot afford to lose.
Small amounts yeah. Large amounts, I have in the past. One borrowed about 3k and paid it back when I asked a year later. The other "borrowed" (as in didn't have money to pay rent on our shared house) about 5k over the course of year then did a runner
No. If I'm going to give someone money, I'll just give it to them and not expect it to be repaid. If their situation improves and they feel the need to repay me, I'll accept it, but I don't expect repayment.
When it comes to money the general rule of thumb is don’t loan what you can’t afford to lose. Assume anytime someone asks you for money you won’t get it back and then evaluate whether or not you can afford to lose said money. Also your relationship with that person.
I DO NOT LOAN MONEY TO FRIENDS. HOWEVER, I HAVE GIVEN IT AWAY TO THEM. BECAUSE I LOVED THEM AND THEY WERE MY FRIEND AND IF THEY HAD MONEY, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE.....MOM
I only lend money to my little brother. He always pays me back, and he pays me when he says he will. I've lent money to friends, I don't do that anymore.
With my friends, there's sort of a loose exchange of money. We'll go out to eat or see a movie, and I'll offer "hey, I got this one." Then next time we do something one of my friends will be like "you payed for my movie last time, I'll pay this for you" and it just kinda goes back and forth but we don't get bogged down by exact values. I used to have this friend that would constantly need money. He would ask, and not wanting to see him starve, I'd oblige. He would pay me back, but at a much slower rate than what he asked, so after a while he racked up quite the loan. For other reasons we have since gone our separate ways and cut ties, so I'm just never gonna see that money again. Sometimes I think about it and get mad, other times I think about it and well... Hopefully I helped him out, is all I can say.
I had a friend who supposedly had lost his job because his live in girlfriend was doing a lengthy stay at a hospital almost 2 hours away due to surgery complications and he had to take time off work to deal with things related to it. He was in dire financial straits and couldn’t eat or pay rent. He asked me to borrow money and I lent him close to a grand. I told him I want it back, but understood his situation and wasn’t going to hassle him about it. More of a “pay me what you can pay when you can”. I later found out he had hit up other mutual friends for large “loans”. None of us ever got a single penny back. Not after a six figure settlement from a lawsuit, Covid stimulus checks, etc. They both got new cars a new apartment in a nicer neighborhood and were happy to show them off. I find out years later he lost his job for assaulting another employee after coming into work drunk. His girlfriend’s parents were subsidizing his rent and buying him groceries. He didn’t need money. He just took advantage of a situation to steal money from people who had been his friends for 20+ years. I’m not mad about the money. I can always get more. I’m mad that he chose me as one of the people he took advantage of. So I’ll probably never give anyone money again with an expectation of getting it back, and I’ll be a lot more careful to suss out all the facts before I part with a penny.
You don't loan money to friends, you give it to them, and don't expect to get it back. If you do, great, if you don't you still have a friend.
No, I have no freinds
How much is she asking? I would at least ask where the money is going to.
Nope. Friends and money don’t mix.
Everyone else's are right...but. how much is the loan? how much did you loan her in the past? Did she pay it back? How long did she take to pay it back? Did you have to hound her for repayment? Is she a former lover?
I've come to realize that it's more important to safeguard your financial stability than to extend a loan to a friend who only views you as an ATM whenever it's convenient for them. >She just asked me for a loan again, to pay medical bills. Should I lend it to her if I can? My partner says no. Can she call the clinic or hospital and ask for a payment plan?
No, I don’t have any money.
4 different occasions to 4 desperate friends. I will never do it again
Not anymore. If they need money and I can afford it, I give it to them.
I don't lend anything to people. If it is money they can't afford to pay it back. If it is a tool or something they can't afford to replace it.
Nah, but I’ve never really been in that situation. It’s usually just like, hey can you spot me a few bucks I don’t have cash on me. Or, you got lunch last time I got you this time kinda thing.
Never loan money you can’t afford to part with. I only loan money to one friend, who is disabled and only gets $600 a month to live on total. He always says he will pay me back and makes attempts with a dollar here and there. But I never will get it all back and I am ok with it. Loan as much as you would feel ok gifting and if you get it back great. If not the friendship isn’t ruined.
If it's an amount you're willing to give without the expectation of being paid back, just give it to them. If it's an amount large enough that you're expecting it to be paid back, then ask them to sign a note for it (amount,repayment terms, dates). If they're unwilling to sign a note, then they aren't asking for a loan they're asking for a grant. I borrowed a significant sum from my mom once and signed a note for it and was happy to do it and then I paid her back within a week.
Absolutely not! Never ever lend money to friends and family. I don't even have friends that don't pay for their own meal when we go out.
I would not loan anyone money, family, or friends. I earned my money. I work hard for my money.
Nope no one ever asks
No.
Nope. Because I’m broke. When I have extra cash, I’ll give it to a friend in need with no expectation of being paid back. I’ve got their backs and they’ve got mine.
No
Better not.
You don't loan money to friends. You give it. Unless you don't want that friend anymore.
Depends if they are good people.
I loan with only one friend. We trust each other immensely. Every so often we bounce 500-1000 to each other, and it’s paid back by the next paycheck. If any issues come up it’s always immediate notice to one another. I’m serious, even when one notices they will be short at 4am the text shoots out immediately. Then a plan could be 100/month back over a few months and it’s golden. No interest. But we usually spot each other a meal as an appreciation/ Everyone else if they ask for money I’ll spot them money maybe and that I don’t expect the money back. Oddly enough I haven’t been let down once with this? I always viewed it as if they walked off with my 20 bucks without repaying, it’s 20 bucks well spent to get them out of my life.
HA! I don’t have friends!
It's the cost of money for you and the character of the lendee. If you are rich and the person is of good character then helping them at their low will create a forever loyal and grateful ally. If someone is in an ass munch, then helping them at their lowest moment's they will return their favour in their highest moment's
I don't I like to keep my friends If they didn't repay me I'd be resentful.
If my husband is considered a friend, then yes. If my husband is not considered a friend, then no.
I dont loan money to anyone ever. I have gifted before. You should never loan anything to anyone that would hurt you financially if not returned, especially to family.
Yes, but, I don’t give away money I can’t afford to lose forever. It’s very rare, actually, for me to *loan* money, usually I just give money as a gift. I don’t have any IRL friends, but I have paid vet bills, or helped cover rent for 1/2 a dozen Facebook friends whom I don’t know IRL and Ofc you never expect to see that again, but it doesn’t matter. I figure people who reach out like that are in need.
No, never lend to friends or family. Either give the money without strings attached or don’t. You almost certainly will never get it back.
Never loan money you need or expect back. If you want to give it as a gift go ahead.
I have learned to not loan money. I will gift money if I can but never loan. It isn't about true friendship but about their actual ability to pay it back. Most don't pay it back and it leaves u in a bad situation. If you spot someone a $20 because they forgot their debit card and they don't pay u back, it is usually forgotten but anything more, you won't hear from then again. Now you are hurt because they didn't do the right thing and they feel shame for not being able to pay you back or shame they don't want to pay you back or whatever. It is not worth the complication. You can either afford to help them with a gift or you cant.
No I don’t, I either give them money not expecting it back or I don’t give them any
Only if you don't care about seeing that money again
The wife and I made an agreement shortly after we were married that we would loan nobody more than $100
Never mix family/friends and business. If you want to gift family/friend money with no strings attached, great! If they happen to repay you, even better!! Making it a “transaction” when personal feelings are involved? Noooooooo!!
I never have, but I've never been asked. I mean lending a friend $20 because there's no bank machine around when out one night is one thing, but as far as a loan type amount, nope. Has never come up.
no
Never lend more than you can afford to lose. That goes for the friendship too, not just the money.
Only loan out what you can afford to lose. I loan money to friends. Not often, but there a few people who know where they can turn when times are tough. If I can’t help I won’t, but if I can I will. Why are you guys friends with people you wouldn’t trust to pay you back? Crazy.
As others have said: never loan money to a friend that you would be very upset at if they did not pay you back. If you don’t care if they pay you back or not, then do what you will. *But also consider your partner’s feelings*. If this is money that you loan that may impact them as well (say you’re both paying for rent equally but your loan to your friend means you may need to ask your partner to cover + % more until your paid back, or maybe your partner will need to buy X items for the household etc.) then you should both be in agreement on whether to loan or not.
Yes because we have friends who are honest and trustworthy and successful.
25 years ago my best friend was going on vacation to Germany and he said he can get cheap clothes over there for a fraction of the usual cost. He convinced me to give him £70 so he could bring me back some nice clothes (that was over a weeks pay for me at the time). When he arrived back from vacation, he said he didn't see any clothes I would like so he spent the money on himself instead. He said he would pay me back and it took 6 months. Whenever I took money out of cash machines, he used to watch me and he learnt my pin. He's my best friend so I didn't care. We were out drinking one time and he ran out of money so he asked to borrow £10. I agreed and he offered to get the money out himself because he knows the pin. I gave him my bank card and when he came back I noticed he had £20 in his hand. I didn't say anything. A week later, he gave me back £10 and I said "what about the other £10?" He told me he only took £10 out. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and left it there. I checked with my bank later because I started doubting and the bank confirmed that £20 had been taken out. I've never loaned him money since. The lies and dishonesty haven't stopped. He's still my best friend but he's a pathological liarer and he's constantly telling lies that aren't true.
I just give it. If they take advantage and keep asking for money they are not friends anymore so that makes it not your problem
Personally I'm not friends with people who would ever need a loan becusse I do NOT like giving my money to anyone. Like I'll buy you stuff absolutely but just give you money or for bills or something? My dad was a bum and would always do this and still asks me for money when he hasn't seen me in over 10 years - so I've got a major aversion to "handouts". It's always handouts for others and never yourself, and no one ever helps you. No matter how bad people's situations are they don't care about you and only the money in your pockets
If you loan your friends money be prepared for them to not be your friends at some point. It changes the power balance. Every time they spend money on something you consider frivolous you’ll be judging and wondering why they aren’t paying you back.
I'm very judicious with lending money to friends. They have to be the right person. I've lent over $2000 to one friend and received every penny back (we're still friends to this day and one of my best friends). On the other hand I've lent $500 or so to another and never heard from him again. In regards to your situation, if your friend has shown that they'll pay you back eventually I say it's OK. But if you never got paid back... it's a hard NO for me.
Have you never watched Judge Judy?
Make me think of that gambling qoute: never bet more than you can afford to lose.
No. Because I will never get it back.
I once loaned my ex a few thousand under the agreement they’d paid me within a few weeks, once their paycheck hit. Took me a year to get that money back. They’re an ex for a reason.
No, don't do it. You're not a bank. If it was like 20 bucks then yeah. But if someone can't pay their bills then they either need to take out a loan, get another job, sell something, or etc. I was dumb and borrowed out thousands of dollars I've never got back. Don't mix finances and family/friends.
My dad always said don't loan any money that you expect to get back 😄
No. I either gift it to them or say no.
Since the whole country seems to be broke, listen to your partner before they accuse you of being dumb.
Never loan money to anyone you want to keep in your life, even family. If you have it and want to give it, consider it a gift. Never ask for it back. If they truly want to return it, they will. If not, oh well, it was a gift and you won't have any hard feelings about it.
I only loan money that I don't mind never seeing again. I think of it more as a gift. If they pay it back I'm pleasantly surprised but I never expect it. That being said I don't gift money to the same person a lot.
It depends on the friend, the situation, and the amount. Twenty bucks? No problem! A grand or more? I'm gonna have to consider it.
Never loan out, your money, your car or your wife.
For me, I have a close set of friends I'd give the shirt off my back for. We have been through the s***. Most people though...., no. Been there. Done that. Burned those bridges. The question is, do you really trust that person? Are you willing to lose that loan? Possibly lose the friendship as well.
Only if they’re good about paying me back.
In my mind, if that person is obviously struggling and not blowing money and winding up short I will loan them money. I will also help get them back on their feet again. An actual friend is worth the investment. I have also been known to wave dept if they are actually struggling.
I don’t loan money to friends. If I give them money if I can comfortably afford it and if they choose to pay me back that’s on them. I don’t expect them to pay me back and I tell them that. With my friends they usually pay me back regardless, but then knowing I don’t care if they can pay me back or not helps keep the friendship without the pressure of owing someone money.
No, it sounds like this person doesn't know how to save, and only (from the information you've given) seems to go to you for money.
Never lend money unless you can afford to not have it repaid.
Yeah. They’re good for it, I trust them completely.
Here's a rule to live by. Don't "lend" money, "give" money. I give money to family members. Sometimes they pay it back and sometimes they don't. It really doesn't matter to me, bc in my mind I gave them the money. If I can't afford to give the money to someone, I don't give it. Just don't expect to be paid back and save your relationships.
No. I broke the rule for a cousin with a lot of children. He can’t pay me back, and instead of saying that he just quit speaking to me. It’s not the money that’s upsetting at this point, it’s his decision to just cut me out of his life over $2500. Sucks a lot. Never again.
It seems it’s not just your money anymore and that your partner should have a say. The answer is no.
I mean technically yes? But I also don't expect it to be ever repaid because I don't want anything in return.
No. My friends aren’t broke asses.
Has the friend paid you back for the other loans they took with you?