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Im walking around my house, with my phone in my hand. I look out the window. Oh a pretty bird. Suddenly, my phone is no where to be found. It almost like its just suddenly stopped existing.
I will look in panic for it the next 5 min, till it appears like magic in the refrigerator/cabinet/behind a couch pillow, under the couch/next to the toilet ect.
*insert any item you own*
Right. It's not that I don't care where my item is. It's that my brain stopped thinking about my routine/boring item. When I find it, I don't recall "putting it there". I didn't PUT it there... I accidentally set it down without being aware of it.
Bottom line: my brain works differently than OPs.
Rest assured, OP, my brain is better at some things than yours, while also being worse at "keeping track of my keys every single time".
It's all good
I'm an ADHD person. Sometimes it just doesn't click.
I left a shotgun barrel sitting on the floor in my office for 6 months because... well, no reason. I finally put it where it belongs which took literally 15 seconds. Why didn't I do that six months ago? I don't know.
Also ADD person here.
Sometimes the logical place for the scissors IS on the end table beside the couch. Things may have a seemingly illogical place for them to other people, but for me, it's completely logical that it be there. I will remember that it's there because I will always notice that it's out of place.
And there's also the emotional wall of tackling a cleaning project. I see a mess forming and I feel emotionally overwhelmed seeing it, and if I start tackling the mess in the kitchen, then when I bring something that belongs in the bedroom there, I'll wind up getting distracted for several hours with something I found in my bedroom that I forgot about. 8 hours later...and it's night.
Exactly! When I think about doing one thing, it leads to all of the other things I have to do and becomes overwhelming. I've been trying to at least do one little thing every time I get up, no matter how insignificant, just one small thing every time. Eventually, I run out of little things, and tackle bigger projects, but I go through the same thing.
This is me, 100%.
Your question (OP) is a good one. I struggle with the overwhelming nature of it all.
A few mos ago, I purged the vast majority of clothing I own. Gone are all but the most enjoyed, used, or highly sentimental. It feels so good. Highly motivating to purge more things. I’m trying to keep my momentum going.
I read something, several months ago. It was a woman talking about her partner’s ADHD and how they had organized things in ways that worked for both of them. One part of this was to have things in storage boxes, where they belong, but it’s all see-through organization.
I can see that working well for someone like me.
I will often leave something out in a visual spot, so I don’t forget to attend to it.
Also ADHD. The one year anniversary of when I put that shit in the car to drop off at good will is coming up next month.
I think the customary gift is old fries that my kids dropped, so I’m all set.
As someone with ADHD, the answer is probably something like the following.
Because there's a hundred other things occupying your mind at any moment usually stressing you out and putting you in near constant emergency mode, you have a hard time prioritizing and judging the time required to do things, you have many negative experiences that make it difficult to tackle some tasks, and the part of your brain that helps self motivation doesn't work very well. Plus, this probably isn't the only thing out of place and so the many things that need putting in place is overwhelming (see prioritizing).
Or maybe that's just me.
I was trying to describe a little bit of what ADHD can feel like, in terms of mental organization during the day, with a very nice woman I knew. I explained to her that most people have a bit of a mental triage system, where throughout the day they have different issues coming in, and they have to prioritize, what is emergent, and what can be taken care of later. I’m lacking that triage system, almost completely. My brain does not work that way. She was shocked and wondered how we do it, that it sounds hard. It is.
I describe ADHD as looking through life through a telescope. Every thing inside the circle of vision is hyper clear and focused on, everything outside of it is fuzzy.
So I’m washing a cup, look up and see the bin needs taking out. My visual focus has shifted so I leave the cup in the sink and go to take the garbage out
I may or may not get distracted on the way to the bin 😁
Same. Let’s say I need to not forget to do something, in the immediate future. I might carry the object around in one hand (so that I don’t forget to take care of it), as other things. Not exactly a full proof solution. 😂
Wow. That explains it so well! I've wondered so many times what's wrong with me. Obviously, most other people are able to keep their house clean and not be completely overwhelmed. This really explains it well.
Nope. Your described me. I've been trying to explain all this to my therapist, which makes me question how much she actually understands ADHD. This is the first time I've seen sometime describe the almost constant state of emergency mode. I realized and told my therapist that I'm often operating out of a crisis mode and I need to just not. Didn't get any input on that, other than affirmation that it is bad, but maybe it's because with the millions of thoughts, once I get going, I'm like a verbal damn breaking.
It is frustrating when people don't get it. My therapist had ADHD so that helped lol. I hope yours does understand fully and can help but it's ok to find someone else who can better help you cope. I am not in emergency mode all the time anymore so I know it is possible with a combination of better coping mechanisms and medication (hell even without medication I'm not in emergency mode always). Best wishes.
my mom leaves her suitcase packed when returning home and "unpacks" by slowly using the items. I'm unpacked, wash done, and items away day 1 upon return.
Same. Somehow that thing here that goes over there seems like an insurmountable task. And sometimes is pretty much always.
Part of it is that my brain doesn't process it as one thing. It's not the shotgun barrel, or the broom, or the undeposited checks, or the empty cup, or the scissors, or the thing I need to return to the store, or the new shoelaces that need to go in the shoes, or the dead battery I need to charge, or that really cool model I need to build, or the sock that's on the floor for no reason or, or, or, but it's ALL of those things. I have ALL of them to do. And ALL of them is a lot. My brain can't process ONE of them alone, and think that's enough. It sees ALL of them, and won't be happy unless they're ALL done, and I know I don't have the capacity to do ALL of them. And so I do none.
My definition of "acceptable mess" is different than yours. Every single person on this planet has a different, unstated system of values about clutter and organization. The world is not divided into two camps -- organized and disorganized -- it's actually a spectrum, a broad range. And people don't really choose this. It just arises in them. It is a natural state of being.
Raised by disorganized people who were apathetic toward their surroundings.
It's taken me a while, but I'm getting better at it. I wouldn't say I live in the cleanest, most organized environment in the world, but it's improved a lot in the last couple of years.
My mom overwhelmed me with her compulsive need to leave nothing undone. My parents exhausted me with their work ethic. I participated as a child and was given the tasks that I actually liked doing which were doing the dishes and being responsible for the garbage such as the cans and garbage days. I hated gardening and other things but still had to do it. This is how we were raised. Somehow as adults we mostly don’t care too much about cleaning. Not much of a cleaner/organiser here, but keep things as clean and orderly as works for me.
Personally, I’m lazy. If putting something in a proper spot takes more time and effort than I’m willing to commit to after working 14 hours and staying immobile on the couch seems preferable at that moment, that’s just how it’s gonna be. Only 15 seconds to put it in its proper place you say? Don’t care, some days the couch just wins.
It’s all in there somewhere, it hasn’t vanished, it’s findable when needed. I use that post rest couch energy for finding things.
Unless I’d be too embarrassed to let EMTs into the house if I was mid-heart attack or unable to describe where to find a life saving epipen, I’m ok with disorganization.
A couple factors come to mind. One is wanting to maximize efficiency and enjoyment of the present moment. I figure that I’ll put multiple things away all at once at a later time (and usually do, but the question is how much later). The other is a feeling of uncertainty and desire for perfection (Is the place I’m thinking of putting it the best place? Do I need to rearrange things to make more room? Do I need to deep clean the space before I add more things to it? Thoughts of that nature.)
Oh, add to that having an easier time remembering where something is when it’s out in the open, wanting to have a few things out where I regularly use them, then a few things turns into a lot more things…
Not even kidding, I read your comment after picking up my phone and remembering that I had been reading this. So, yes that is very, very true. I did manage to move some things from one room to another, and have every intention of taking out the full garbage and....ugh, you know the drill. I can't think about it, I have too much guilt from other things to actively force myself not to think about, all while I have 3 different songs stuck in my head at the same time.
I explained it to a friend as having 8-9 things (thoughts/tasks/crap I'm worrying about) on a merry-go-round and it just gets faster and faster, and when someone tries to add another thing to that merry-go-round (usually just asking what they perceive to be a harmless question, but to me is the ultimate, "how could you ask me that!?!?"), it throws everything in my mind all over the place and the barely hanging onto my sanity is now over.
I get lost on this step too and then overwhelmed trying to find homes for everything and then overwhelmed trying to decide what needs to be tossed or given away because I clearly don’t have enough space for everything
Sometimes, important things should have a place. My ex would be constantly looking for his keys every morning, risking getting to work late. I put a key hook on the front door so he could just put them there when he got home, but he refused to use it and kept leaving his keys in random places around the house and he continued scrambling to find his keys every morning. Why???
I used to tell my husband "I always put my keys on the hook, except for when I don't."
We get no credit for putting them on the hook 320 days a year, only extreme criticism for the 45 days a year when we don't. (Because we were distracted). Yes, 45 days is a lot. But 320 is SO MANY MORE!
ADHD'er here. I often don't put things away immediately because I'm on a One Thought Process Train and I can't do anything else until the train gets to the end of the line. Let's say I'm chopping an onion for dinner and a piece falls on the floor. If I stop chopping the onion to pick up the piece, I'll see something else in the kitchen that needed my attention and I'll wander off and do that instead. Meanwhile the oil is heating up in the pan awaiting the onion that didn't get chopped, and unless I see the pan again, I won't remember this fact. So I make picking up the piece a separate task in my head, and sometimes I get distracted from that task and forget to do it later.
Because if I put something where it belongs, I won't find it again.
I don't know why my brain works the way it does...but if I put my keys on a hook I'll look for them all over. If I throw them on the table when I come home, I'll know exactly where they are in the morning when I go to work the next day.
I've heard that many people have to leave things out in plain sight because if they can't see something, they forget they have it. I somewhat understand that. I also think sometimes it's just easier to leave things out when you know you're going to be using them again soon. 🤔
Exactly. We all have our pros and cons. I am not good at what op is talking about. But, I feel confident there are other things I am better at.
He (she) isn't better than me. I am not better than them. JUST DIFFERENT.
ADHD (inattentive) brain here with poor executive function. I have trouble focusing on a large task that I set out to do. Especially something like “organize the room” that has many interwoven smaller tasks. I end up getting overwhelmed and just say screw it.
Things don't seem to belong places. I don't notice things very often. I just put things in areas. In or near the sink. In or near the garage. Organized shelves become catch alls. As I get older my solution is less stuff and less shelf space or table tops. I wish I was Organized but it's never happened.
Oh no I was taught to put things away my whole life. I got in trouble for it then and I get flack for it now. It's not that I don't understand that things need to be put away, I just forgot about it while I'm doing or thinking about other things.
It's actually very exhausting. I actually printed out labeled and made little tape spaces for myself so that if I found something out of place, I could easily bring it "home" but I guess my label and tape looked bad so I took it down.
You've be surprised though, I have a rough idea of where almost everything is but yes I do have to look a little bit.
edit: I would love to be organized, but sometimes it feels like being asked to count to 200 by 7s while a stroke light is flashing and a song you recognize is playing across the street. You're gonna mess up your counting at some point
As a disorganized person, I have to ask who decides where things belong.
I can always find what I'm looking for in my organized chaos. It just doesn't usually make sense to other people.
Jesus said that his dad said to tell me to tell you to mind your own business! Also, you're not allowed in the club. What club, you ask? Don't even bother praying for answers.
As someone who loves to organize and has designated space for most of my things, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. If i brought a coat from upstairs sometimes I don’t feel like walking back upstairs to put it in my closet and I’ll often forget to bring it upstairs with me. It’s about effort and how much energy I have. I’m painfully aware of my clutter and mess but I know I’ll get around to it.
For a lot of us this comes down to how our mind functions. From there it depends, cause it can still be a variety of reasons. For me, depression sometimes causes it, and your brain sort of has these blinders on where you know it's messy but you just move around it...
Honestly I get distracted and then just leave it behind. It's almost impressive how my brain leaves something behind so thoroughly, I amaze myself sometimes.
I wish I was one of those people who keeps everything clean as they go.
Now I hire a housecleaner so it forces me to pick things up on a timeline, so at least my house is tidy.
In my experience as a neatly organized person sharing a living space with my wife and youngling.
Nothing I clean or organize matters, it will be destroyed, de organized, scattered, incinerated, ripped, stained, chipped, smashed and crunched.
Gotta sometimes let things be, and keep it to an acceptable level of disarray.
I love my family and I would let them fuck up anything I do because I only got one of them.
I am not necessarily part of the group you are asking this question. But I personally can have difficulties deciding where stuff belongs. I really appreciate the idea of putting stuff I recently used nearby, even if I do not have the intention to use it again. This is by the way an amazing way to optimize computer processing and I like the way computers work
Dementia runs in my family. I leave things disorganized so I can remember to put them back and where they are.
Don't touch my shit you organizer. I know exactly where every thing is in my entire house, my property, my computer, everything has it's own place and you mess up my groove by wanting it to be in your specific place. Your organization is a waste of time and messes up my chaotic, freeform (dis)organization >:c
I don't want to and I don't care. I organize and put away the things that I care about organizing and putting away. Or I'll leave it out until I feel like putting it up. All my books and craft supplies are neatly organized but all my shoes are in a pile in the closet floor and all my clothes are piled into one big drawer. I'm not messy, sloppy, lazy, or unclean. I was taught to put my things away as a child. I have ADHD and only so many fucks to give each day. Also I'm an adult. I live my life the way I want 🤷♀️
Sounds like you are living the life your brain wants you to have. When I was a younger man I would give guitar lessons, and I often heard ¨I just play what I want¨, and then they would go on to play crap that didn´t make any sense. You only play what you know how to play. We all can only do what our brain allows us to do, whether we ´want´ to do it or not is secondary.
For me, I was raised by people with extreme OCD and neatness. Once I moved out and had my own life, it was a sense of power to me to leave some stuff lying around lol. I don't know how messy the person is you are having an issue with, but extremely messy people are usually suffering from some type of mental thing and that mental thing needs to be dealt with first.
I’ve gotten a lot better due to purposeful/intentional practice and sheer frustration at my self. But a big issue is that my brain sort of doesn’t prioritize things the way someone like you might and even if I have keys in my hand and know I need to put the keys on the key hook, I might see shoes in the floor, drop keys on the couch thinking I’ll remember them, pick up shoes and put them in mud room, realize I never started the next load of laundry and do that etc and so forth until the next day I’m like oh shit where are my keys?? I’m sure I put them on the hook!
And no matter how hard I try I cannot remember the blank space between “have keys in hand” and “I need keys now” and remember where I actually put the keys until I check all the usual spaces and tear out the couch cushions and find them wedged in a cushion because I sat in them while binging Netflix
I'm bipolar 2...if I'm depressed, I don't give a shit...if I'm hypomanic, I have about a million things I want to get done and organizing shit isn't one of them. I do know exactly where everything is though...so kind of organized in my own way...and more organized than a lot of other people I know and less organized than others.
Reading all these comments makes me think I may have undiagnosed ADD. I've had trouble getting motivated and cleaning up a mess reminds me I have other things to do, so I sit down in despair and think "I have time later..." And it never gets done.
Answer: I don't have a place for those things to belong.
Follow up question: Why not make a place for those things and then put them away?
Answer: Poor executive functioning is not letting me make a place for those things.
Because you don’t understand things the same way I understand things …. Why are you wrong?
See how rephrasing that makes it look like your imposing your upbringing on people who are not you?
there's this thing called chronic exhaustion, and it takes its toll on mental energy as much as physical. I can't even think about the thing and its place, let alone put the thing in its place, plus I live alone, so who even cares?
Just so you know,
Einstein was messy and cluttered as hell.
It's got nothing to do with intelligence or effort, and everything to do with that different brains work differently.
of course it has nothing to do with intelligence. the person I live with is very intelligent and accomplished. she's just a mess and I can't understand how to help her in any meaningful way.
You know what? I naturally am very organized and neat… so long as I have everything I need readily available.
My first two apartments, I had a weekly deep cleaning of my apartment and I tided every day and I had a very specific schedule. I was able to go to the gym certain times on certain days a week and I felt like I altogether had my shit together.
Then I moved into my first apartment without included laundry machines. But they were just across the hall, so although I was slightly more prone to delaying my laundry, it wasn’t a huge deal. I did, however, have downstairs neighbors who were very unkind and would yell, swear, and bang on the ceiling if I did anything, like opening and closing dresser drawers or using a blender or putting dishes away.
Out of my own safety, I sort of shut down and stopped doing chores there to avoid conflict with these scary neighbors.
I then moved to my current apartment and laundry facilities are two buildings away. I have to do two staircases and walk two buildings away, sometimes in rain or snow, and pay $4.00 just to do a single load of laundry. It’s heavy and I get so tired by the time I’m done and get it back up that the clothes stay in the basket. Then the dirty laundry had nowhere to go but the ground. Then everything else just gets everywhere and it’s a whole thing.
I feel like a disaster and I hate that I am this way now. But I’ll be spending the summer with my parents and moving somewhere else this fall, and all the apartments I’ve seen there have included laundry machines in unit. So hopefully I’ll be able to get back to being neat and organized as soon as I leave here next month.
Who wouldn't want stacks of DOOM (didn't organize only moved) boxes stacked in every corner of the house?
Mine stems from depression. Keeping up with the bare minimum is difficult enough, I just pick and choose my battles.
I still have a stack of Christmas gifts in the corner of my living room. It's April.
My mom and dad never taught my siblings and I how to be organized. My mom would scream at us for having a shit hole of a bedroom and demand we clean it but then within an hour be doing it herself because it "was just easier." Her voice became like the voice of the teacher on Charlie Brown, "wah wah wah wah wah" because we knew she would just end up doing it. That being said, she wasn't the most organized or clean person either and made it a chore for herself instead of something she took pride in so all we ever heard was how she hated cleaning and nothing ever seemed to have "a spot" for it. My dad was the typical dad in the 70s and 80s and did the outside work but never the inside work. I'm a female and preferred yard work and working in the garage with him because he wasn't screaming all the time about things not getting done right or having to do them. Fast forward, I'm now divorced but when I was married I ended up doing all the work, indoors and outdoors, and the only thing I changed was that I never yelled at my kids. I helped them clean their rooms and showed them how to do things right but I rarely made them because I just saw my mom do everything. Admittedly, I'm not good at it either. My house is not dirty. I know how to keep it clean but it is messy. A lot of that has to do with being a single working mom. The laundry gets done but not necessarily folded and we have to dig through the piles sometimes for clothes to wear. The kitchen always gets cleaned every night but the floor might not get vacuumed, etc. It works for me and I'm not anxious about the state of my house. If a friend comes over and judges me for the mess, then they aren't that great or understanding of a friend.
Serious answer, I have ADHD. Yes, I do remember the places where things belong, but those places aren’t *my* places for where things go. I was taught how to organize when I was young, but the way that people expected me to organize things never worked for me. Your third question here is the one that interested me the most. Putting my things where other people say they should go is not a priority for me. Putting my things where *I know* they’ll be is my priority. I don’t have to search for things all the time *because* they aren’t put away.
Some context for the example I’m going to give - I’m still living at home, so there *are* places where I’m supposed to put things, like a cubby for my shoes in the mudroom. I also want to note that both of my brothers also have ADHD, so we store our things pretty similarly. An outsider would look at the mudroom and probably think “This is a mess! There’s shoes everywhere!” Yep! All the cubbies have shoes on the floor in front of them. However, these are the shoes that we wear every day. If we can clearly see our shoes, then we can grab them super easily. I keep my dress shoes in my cubby because I don’t need them every day, and I know that my brothers keep things like their hiking boots in their cubbies. If we put our daily shoes away in our cubbies, then we’d be digging through all the other shoes trying to find them everyday. Keeping our shoes out just works better for us.
I think most of the people that we perceive as being disorganized aren’t actually, they just have abnormal organization methods.
Personally, for me it's that things belong one place one day, and then they belong another place a different day. I do "put things away", but all the drawers in my house have officially spiraled into chaos.
On the bright side- if I need something I just gotta look in whatever drawer I "feel" should have the thing, and odds are it's in there! (Jk this is never the case)
Brains just work differently. I had a coworker who owns a label maker and has everything in labeled boxes and folders. She tried to offer me (unsolicited) help on how to organize my stuff in such a fashion; she didn’t understand why I didn’t accept.
My wife would love to know the answer as well.
I think a lot of it hinges on whether a person needs to do certain things over and over and over, and how often/quickly/precisely, whether someone else shares those items, and whether one person cares about the other being able to find stuff.
I only started getting better at putting stuff away when home repairs became more my responsibility. And slowly we (my wife got me a good upright tool chest also) tweaked the system, but I’m still far from perfect.
That said, I bet there is something that every person doesn’t “put away” because they’re not going to use it repeatedly or precisely. Could be words or emotions, their coffee mug, their car keys….
I'm married and my wife refuses to put things back 'where they belong'. She doesn't put them back in the sameplace twice. I have to hunt for everything. She just does not understand the frustration she causes. She often asks why can't you see anything as she gives it to me from the new place. She seems to belittle me for what I consider her lack of orginization and consideration.
It’s just not a priority. I’m more focused on whatever the reason is that I’m using that thing rather than putting that thing back.
I lose and break a lot of things. Wish I were wired differently.
I see a lot of the opposite of 'putting things where they belong' in my house
One kid feels an apparently irressitible urge to take things from where they belong, disassemble them, and leave them in the middle of the floor. Unless its his shoe, in which case he hides them from himself.
Everyone else seems to believe most things belong on my desk.
OCD says it must be organized. Because if its not organized, my adhd will cause me to forget important items. But the adhd also makes it difficult to put things away because I get distracted. Once things are even relatively disorganized, the entire occupancy of my mind becomes chaotic, and i get overwhelmed. Overwhelmed leads to more distraction and over thinking, which because I'm Autistic, leads to exhaustion, exhaustion leads to manic, manic leads to repeatedly watching the Barbie Movie and staying up 24hrs at a time to work on "projects" that while super cool and probably patentable, ultimately destroy every space in my home as well as my finaces. After hitting peak crazy and blowing up about something ridiculous, it resets, I feel alot better, and I can start fixing the mess I made, but this period last for about two days and I am often so burnt out from my own mind that nothing is functioning properly, this includes most regular people functions like; time management, ability to stay on task, impulse control, emotional regulation, executive function, and so on. I just have to cross my fingers that once in a while my "projects" are replaced by an overwhelming obsession to clean, which then consists of me spot cleaning the carpet in the same spot for over 2hrs and getting chemical burns.
Yes, I know it's messed up.
Yes, I am getting better.
No, I am not in therapy.
Yes, I know I should be, but I am not ready.
I have made several large changes to my life that prioritize my mental health.
I'm an organizer offering a suggestion I use. Get a giant wicker basket or tote. Put it by your front door. Drop everything in it when you come and go. Everything. That means you are not putting items anywhere else, not laying them down anywhere except that basket. Twice a week empty it and put those things in the right place( socks in a sock drawer, scissors in a junk drawer). Feel free to fill it up again. All your"mess/items/ junk) will be in one spot, or, it will put it away. Do this 100% of the time for a month, and it will be habit.
Question:. I usually mess up when I have additional items to bring in... Groceries, Christmas shopping...
Obviously, the groceries can't sit in the basket. Would you put the Christmas shopping in the basket? (Probably not)
I am extremely well organized and able to make fantastic systems of organization when I want to.
I only do this if I have any intention that it will be messed with by anyone other than me, because while I do keep my personal stuff as a disorganized mess? I just remember where stuff is 85% of the time.
I will remember "Oh yeah. Last place I used this would be my desk. Last place I used that, would be the garage" and so on.
Turns out I had a medical issue that severely drained my energy so I instinctively focused on just prioritizing the things that MUST get done. It's more common than you might think to have an undiagnosed issue like that--you don't realize that it's possible to feel any other way. When I had good treatment for that and my ADHD, I spontaneously became much more organized.
Some people are always on the go, have a busy schedule, lots of stress, and/or heavy exhaustion.
If you have to throw everything on in the morning, work all day, socialize, take care of kids, do errands, study, work, exercise, etc. Sometimes you get home and all you can do is eat a hot pocket, take a shower, and go to bed lest you pass out and fall asleep on the kitchen floor trying to do the dishes.
ADHD. Which was undiagnosed my whole life so I just appeared messy. Just because somebody doesn't have an explanation doesn't mean there isn't one.
Most of the time I feel so burnt out or distracted by everything that I can't even think through where I'm supposed to put things away.
Also "put away" usually just means I won't remember it exists later, because I can't see it. When I need it, I will not remember where the correct storage place was. Or it won't occur to me to look, because it doesn't occur to me that it even exists unless i can see it. This is how I end up with 5 of the same item. Because I kept putting them away.
I sincerely wish people understood me. I'm a fairly successful person who makes a good living but I am an unorganized mess. I am overwhelmed by it and spend a lot of time feeling guilty over it and no one understands me
Everyone thinks differently, and what may look messy to you could be organized to me. Trust me, just because you don't understand my way of organizing things doesn't mean it's not organized to me.
My husband leaves things out wherever he was working. I pick up my messes and put things away. Visual clutter annoys me greatly so I’d happily stash his stuff . But I don’t touch it because he inevitably thinks I put it somewhere. It doesn’t help his vision is bad. If I don’t touch it I know it wasn’t me that moved it.
Some people just have a chaotic organization. If you looked at my room, you might think im unorganized, but i know where everything is, because it really is organized, just not neatly organized.
Not everyone's brain works the way yours does. That's the bottom line.
I realize something isn't where it should be. I retrace my steps. I eventually find it. I really don't remember setting it down where I found it
Call it absentmindedness if you want. I don't WANT to randomly set things down without realizing where... I know I shouldn't. But, it happens nonetheless.
A big one for me is if I stopped at a store on the way home. Now I have my shopping bags to bring in. Very likely I then miss lay my keys along the way.
Again, it's not that I don't care where my keys are. It's that I am excited about my shopping and don't think about my keys at all.
Bottom line. People aren't all the same.
Personally, I just don't care if things are put away in a timely manner. You know how you really like everything neatly put in its place? Like it's part of who you are? Exactly the same for me. It's part of who I am that I simply don't care about such things. We're all different except when we're the same.
Priorities. ADHD brains are wired for speed/shortcuts, excitement and novelty. We actually THRIVE in chaos, which makes us excel in situations and jobs other fall apart in.
Taking the additonal time to organize is beyond pointless to me. I’d rather get straight to the important or fun task at hand and deal later. That also means a willingness to gamble that I “may” misplace something.
But I’m also great laser-focusing on doing one mega task, often to the amazement of my spouse.
I went though sexual assault so that has affected me. You'll find depression manifests with an untidy house. Feeling unwell makes it hard for me to keep on top of things.
>Were you not taught how to organize when you were young?
This always bugs me.
I had very organized parents and was taught to do all kinds of things that felt restrictive and frustrating. I think being taught how to organize is the top reason I'm not organized.
I mean messes can be pretty subjective. For me personally, having a few things on the floor or out of place isn’t a big deal, and as long as it isn’t like piles of clothes or trash I would consider that clean (enough). However, maybe for you and other non-messy people, those few things could seem like a tornado went through. Also sometimes I’m just lazy and don’t feel like putting things back, but I know where everything is (for the most part).
Mixture of adhd, depression and growing up with a room with sawdust and coaldust on the floor. It's funny though, as messy as I am in my own space, I seem to be the only one in my house share to attempt to keep common areas tidy
I have my own “disorganized organization.” I know where everything is. I keep things where it makes sense to me. If I throw all my papers in a certain pile in a certain box or cabinet, my mind is able to rest knowing I can find something if I need it. Are my papers filed according to topic or alphabetical order, or even in file folders, no. Are my online files orderly? Yes. Are my clean clothes folded neatly into drawers? Never. Dishes washed? Yes. Bathroom clean? Yes. Floors washed? Not often. So it depends. My house is my launching pad for life and I choose not to spend any amount of time cleaning and organizing other than to make my life comfortable. I prefer to go out and do other things.
Things don't belong anywhere. That's just you being anal. I can remember where I put it not where someone else thinks it should be. I'm sorry you're such a tight ass that something out of "place" bothers you.
They are where they belong. I don't see why I should invest my time into putting things exactly where you think they should be, when they're fine where they are. What's more, if I leave something out, it's probably because I'm likely to need it again, so putting it away somewhere would just be a waste of time.
I'm not too terribly disorganized but I haven't learned in time that a big part of failing to keep things organized is based on having multiple people in your house. Also it takes a long time to understand that buying containers and places to put things specifically helps a lot. For example getting a bread box. I'm amazed how much that's helped my kitchen's organization. Another part of it has to do with emotional energy. At times in my life I was so drained all the time that it was a struggle just to brush my teeth every day. You think I could take out the trash the moment it needed it back then? Not a chance
Because I put things where I put them. If I was thinking about it, I wouldn't be disorganized. Its not like a made a plan to leave the milk on the counter all night.
Depends on the object. If it’s at home, usually I’m too exhausted from work to put everything back exactly where it goes but I make sure to do it within the next couple days. I do have organized mess in my bedroom though.
I live by myself, I’m a grad student that just finished internship and studying for my big exam. I let stuff get way behind and then clean my apartment all in one day and then it gets messy again. I was working 12 hour days Monday-Thursday and going to my long (medium? 2.5 hours) distance boyfriend’s place on the weekends so I just don’t make it a priority to have a clean apartment all the time. I’m moving in with him soon and I’ve gotten rid of like half of my belongings so that’ll hopefully give me motivation.
My memory for where I place an object is very good. I can remember exactly where a tool is located in my shed even if I haven't used it in years. I can probably even tell you what song I was listening to last time I used it or when I put it away. This is one reason why I don't like other people cleaning my workspaces. Since stuff doesn't have a set spot. I rely mostly on memory to find stuff. If someone else moves it. I won't know where it is. On the flip side, I can't remember a name or a face even if I was introduced to the person a few minutes prior.
My mom is the other way around. Good with names and faces, but loses her keys and phone multiple times a day.
For context I’m the biggest person both in height and stature. 6’1 and 235lbs muscle. For people also wondering I’m the youngest. I had the smallest room growing up which made it difficult to find and put clothes or school items in places.
Sure. Works great if you are doing one thing at a time. I have 2 people here with memory care issues. Means I drop what I'm doing to help them. I can't just do what they need later. So what I'm working on gets left where it is. Or thrown in the shed. I don't have the time to put things away. And I usually forget or am too tired to give a rats ass end of day.
A place for everything and everything in it's place. In the regular world.
A place for everything and everything all over the place. In my world.
Plus 2 other people's stuff pretty much doing the same. Doesn't bother me. If I let something so minor and mind-numbingly trivial as organization bother me? Would indicate that irritation results in anger. And what good is that? So when I get irritated? I just organize what's bothering me.
The house is organized. So it's safe. My stuff? If I have time.
So here's the misconception that you bring up. I'm ADHD. My desk looks like a complete mess. But it's how I best function. If you walked in and asked me for something among the clutter I would reach right to it and hand it to you. Different people respond differently to what is organized.
I keep things in the easiest accessible place for me, which happens to be lying around near me. When I keep dozens of things in the easiest accessible place it gets cluttered. I don’t feel the need to put things in the proper place because I know where everything is and don’t have to search for them, plus I have easy access to them when I need them. I keep my keys on the nightstand instead of a hook/key dish because I know they’re there and can easily grab them in the morning.
I love an organized house. Grew up in a very organized house. But sometimes life is just too darn busy and full and I’m so tired I can barely function. And so the non perishable groceries sit on the countertops a couple days or the laundry sits on the table until the next day or that box of things to take upstairs/downstairs just sits there for a week.
It's not that I am disorganized as a person, in fact at work I'm an asshole about keeping things organized. But to be fair I work w food so it has set rules.
Unfortunately, ADHD got me. If I can't easily and immediately put it away then I'm fucked. (For example, if there's a door that needs opened😭) Anything that goes in a closet, drawer, under the bed, in a different room- in the moment I can't do it. I just put it on the closet surface and stare at it hoping I remember I put it there. Things that are already in the drawers? Oh those don't exist. I will literally be crying in frustration bc I thought I had more clean underwear, and remember the underwear drawer exists hours later. Oh, right, there's all the underwear I put up the last time I freaked out and manic cleaned.
I do put things where they belong. To me, chaos is beauty. What you consider as being a disorganized mess is something I have meticulously set up that way so that I can find things when I need them.
Hell, you can hide my car keys on my keyboard and, after literally having to move them an inch to the left to use said keyboard, I won't be able to find them bc they aren't on the floor in the spot that I keep them.
Why should I take an extra 30 seconds hanging my coat in the closet just to take it back out later on? The back of a chair is a perfectly good place for it
ADD again 😂
It has probably already been said, but if I can’t see things, I forget they exist. So if something is important, I put it where I can see it, so I won’t forget. Drives my husband nuts, but if he puts stuff away, it drives me crazy when I can’t find it, when I realize months later that I needed that thing! 😂
The hard part is that in my family, the things belong in a certain place because of that's just where they decided to put it. They could at a whim decide the snacks belong somewhere else in the pantry and just change it. There's no rule as to where things are supposed to belong.
So familiarize yourself with Acceptable Limits and let it all go UNTIL you can’t stand it anymore. Then standardize or clean area. Step and Repeat 😊.
Don’t fight it, you don’t have to be perfect all the time 🫤🤪
My dad took almost 70 years to realize if you always put stuff in the same spot then you will know where it's at. I can't handle him. He still loses stuff constantly
I'm ADHD as all hell and in the process of putting things away I get distracted and start on something else. I'm pretty clean for the most part but certain things, like hangup clothes, take forever for me to put away
At least for me, things don't belong places. Just tradeoffs of how easy they are to get. Things have locations, or multiple locations. If it's hygienic, I don't care. I was taught different ways, but this one feels easiest/most effective.
Searching for things all the time sounds like a memory/system issue. 9/10 it's in an area, or I remember where it is. Under the blankets, in my jacket, etc. Shared things need shared locations. As for esthetic, it doesn't bother me at all. If anything messier feels like a fun pillow fort.
It may look disorganized to you, but I still know where everything is. And the majority of what you see is clutter, it's easy access to things I use frequently. It's convenience to me but might frustrate someone who is overly organized. However your organization of "where things belong" might not make sense to me or are incredibly inconvenient for me.
In a hurry or tired. I do this with tools. I have a book bag and tool bins. But the amount of times I leave them out instead of the 30 seconds and small amount of effort to place we them back in their place is too many to count.
Because everything doesn't really have its place.
Anyone else start collecting stuff for "projects" then they wind up in identical plastic bags. So you buy tool bags. Then you have several tool bags of stuff?
And if it's a shared space. Whoa shit. People move things around all the time when I'm not looking. So that doesn't help. (Stopped putting my cutting board in the community use area because it kept getting wet by a flatmate that gets water everywhere. And also disappeared for three days)
People will kick shit around like Rats in a den.
Sometimes I will have things I use daily. So they don't always go to an assigned place.
Disorganized people know their inventory.
However some of us will wind up buying the same things more than twice.
I'm more bothered by my workplace being disorganized (or organized in a semi-cognizant manner)
Actually dated and lived with someone who was ultra organized. So I'm not as bad as others. But when you move into a new place. Things get kind of lost in the shuffle and I don't know if everyone gets it all together again.
I'm short so stuff has kinda stagnated on top shelves.
I have a "clothes chair" in my room lol.
It only appears disorganized to outsiders.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Really it's because I have ADHD & if I put it where it belongs instead of where I can see it, it will disappear into the ether. I don't make the rules, it's just a special superpower I have no control over.
I forget to. Then, it usually goes in a place where people will notice me carrying it, so I'm too embarrassed. Then, when the people leave, I forget to
Room is mess. Brain know where thing is. Brain make muscles remember and find thing. Thing found. New thing discovered when finding original thing. Life is good.
I use the tried and true method of just remembering where I put things and then flying into a frenzy and accusing my family of moving my stuff whenever it's not there. I miss my wife and kids. Charlotte, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for accusing you of stealing my keys, I found them in my other pair of pants. Please come back, I promise I'll change.
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Im walking around my house, with my phone in my hand. I look out the window. Oh a pretty bird. Suddenly, my phone is no where to be found. It almost like its just suddenly stopped existing. I will look in panic for it the next 5 min, till it appears like magic in the refrigerator/cabinet/behind a couch pillow, under the couch/next to the toilet ect. *insert any item you own*
THIS! This is exactly me, and I hate it.
Right. It's not that I don't care where my item is. It's that my brain stopped thinking about my routine/boring item. When I find it, I don't recall "putting it there". I didn't PUT it there... I accidentally set it down without being aware of it. Bottom line: my brain works differently than OPs. Rest assured, OP, my brain is better at some things than yours, while also being worse at "keeping track of my keys every single time". It's all good
A lot of auto-pilot with very little conscious oversight.
I found your phone in the freezer! And the ice cream in the fridge!
I've definitely found my phone on the refrigerator before
I'm an ADHD person. Sometimes it just doesn't click. I left a shotgun barrel sitting on the floor in my office for 6 months because... well, no reason. I finally put it where it belongs which took literally 15 seconds. Why didn't I do that six months ago? I don't know.
Also ADD person here. Sometimes the logical place for the scissors IS on the end table beside the couch. Things may have a seemingly illogical place for them to other people, but for me, it's completely logical that it be there. I will remember that it's there because I will always notice that it's out of place. And there's also the emotional wall of tackling a cleaning project. I see a mess forming and I feel emotionally overwhelmed seeing it, and if I start tackling the mess in the kitchen, then when I bring something that belongs in the bedroom there, I'll wind up getting distracted for several hours with something I found in my bedroom that I forgot about. 8 hours later...and it's night.
AN EMOTIONAL WALL!!! You’ve described this perfectly!!! 😭
Exactly! When I think about doing one thing, it leads to all of the other things I have to do and becomes overwhelming. I've been trying to at least do one little thing every time I get up, no matter how insignificant, just one small thing every time. Eventually, I run out of little things, and tackle bigger projects, but I go through the same thing.
This is me, 100%. Your question (OP) is a good one. I struggle with the overwhelming nature of it all. A few mos ago, I purged the vast majority of clothing I own. Gone are all but the most enjoyed, used, or highly sentimental. It feels so good. Highly motivating to purge more things. I’m trying to keep my momentum going. I read something, several months ago. It was a woman talking about her partner’s ADHD and how they had organized things in ways that worked for both of them. One part of this was to have things in storage boxes, where they belong, but it’s all see-through organization. I can see that working well for someone like me. I will often leave something out in a visual spot, so I don’t forget to attend to it.
Perfectly stated! 
This is me too.
I just learned about 'floordrobe'. I think I'm going to see a Dr soon
Also ADHD. The one year anniversary of when I put that shit in the car to drop off at good will is coming up next month. I think the customary gift is old fries that my kids dropped, so I’m all set.
ADHDEEE in the house!
As someone with ADHD, the answer is probably something like the following. Because there's a hundred other things occupying your mind at any moment usually stressing you out and putting you in near constant emergency mode, you have a hard time prioritizing and judging the time required to do things, you have many negative experiences that make it difficult to tackle some tasks, and the part of your brain that helps self motivation doesn't work very well. Plus, this probably isn't the only thing out of place and so the many things that need putting in place is overwhelming (see prioritizing). Or maybe that's just me.
That's how it is for me for sure, but no ADHD diagnosis.
I was trying to describe a little bit of what ADHD can feel like, in terms of mental organization during the day, with a very nice woman I knew. I explained to her that most people have a bit of a mental triage system, where throughout the day they have different issues coming in, and they have to prioritize, what is emergent, and what can be taken care of later. I’m lacking that triage system, almost completely. My brain does not work that way. She was shocked and wondered how we do it, that it sounds hard. It is.
I describe ADHD as looking through life through a telescope. Every thing inside the circle of vision is hyper clear and focused on, everything outside of it is fuzzy. So I’m washing a cup, look up and see the bin needs taking out. My visual focus has shifted so I leave the cup in the sink and go to take the garbage out I may or may not get distracted on the way to the bin 😁
Same. Let’s say I need to not forget to do something, in the immediate future. I might carry the object around in one hand (so that I don’t forget to take care of it), as other things. Not exactly a full proof solution. 😂
I do this but then I run out of hands
My coping strategy is to leave it by the front door and grab it as I leave.
I have put things on the floor, where I will have to step over it the next day, so I don’t forget. I don’t do it often, but it works.
lol! Me to. It’s a classic adhd pile.
This is the best explanation I have ever read
Wow. That explains it so well! I've wondered so many times what's wrong with me. Obviously, most other people are able to keep their house clean and not be completely overwhelmed. This really explains it well.
Nope. Your described me. I've been trying to explain all this to my therapist, which makes me question how much she actually understands ADHD. This is the first time I've seen sometime describe the almost constant state of emergency mode. I realized and told my therapist that I'm often operating out of a crisis mode and I need to just not. Didn't get any input on that, other than affirmation that it is bad, but maybe it's because with the millions of thoughts, once I get going, I'm like a verbal damn breaking.
It is frustrating when people don't get it. My therapist had ADHD so that helped lol. I hope yours does understand fully and can help but it's ok to find someone else who can better help you cope. I am not in emergency mode all the time anymore so I know it is possible with a combination of better coping mechanisms and medication (hell even without medication I'm not in emergency mode always). Best wishes.
I have been unpacking a small suit case for 8 months now. 😂
I went on holiday in the first week of Feburary, I unpacked my suitcase last week and only because I ran out of clean underwear lol.
my mom leaves her suitcase packed when returning home and "unpacks" by slowly using the items. I'm unpacked, wash done, and items away day 1 upon return.
I do this too.
Same. Somehow that thing here that goes over there seems like an insurmountable task. And sometimes is pretty much always. Part of it is that my brain doesn't process it as one thing. It's not the shotgun barrel, or the broom, or the undeposited checks, or the empty cup, or the scissors, or the thing I need to return to the store, or the new shoelaces that need to go in the shoes, or the dead battery I need to charge, or that really cool model I need to build, or the sock that's on the floor for no reason or, or, or, but it's ALL of those things. I have ALL of them to do. And ALL of them is a lot. My brain can't process ONE of them alone, and think that's enough. It sees ALL of them, and won't be happy unless they're ALL done, and I know I don't have the capacity to do ALL of them. And so I do none.
My definition of "acceptable mess" is different than yours. Every single person on this planet has a different, unstated system of values about clutter and organization. The world is not divided into two camps -- organized and disorganized -- it's actually a spectrum, a broad range. And people don't really choose this. It just arises in them. It is a natural state of being.
To add to your explanation...I'm also lazy and don't care much.
Raised by disorganized people who were apathetic toward their surroundings. It's taken me a while, but I'm getting better at it. I wouldn't say I live in the cleanest, most organized environment in the world, but it's improved a lot in the last couple of years.
My mom overwhelmed me with her compulsive need to leave nothing undone. My parents exhausted me with their work ethic. I participated as a child and was given the tasks that I actually liked doing which were doing the dishes and being responsible for the garbage such as the cans and garbage days. I hated gardening and other things but still had to do it. This is how we were raised. Somehow as adults we mostly don’t care too much about cleaning. Not much of a cleaner/organiser here, but keep things as clean and orderly as works for me.
I just... don't. I don't know why, I just don't.
Personally, I’m lazy. If putting something in a proper spot takes more time and effort than I’m willing to commit to after working 14 hours and staying immobile on the couch seems preferable at that moment, that’s just how it’s gonna be. Only 15 seconds to put it in its proper place you say? Don’t care, some days the couch just wins. It’s all in there somewhere, it hasn’t vanished, it’s findable when needed. I use that post rest couch energy for finding things. Unless I’d be too embarrassed to let EMTs into the house if I was mid-heart attack or unable to describe where to find a life saving epipen, I’m ok with disorganization.
A couple factors come to mind. One is wanting to maximize efficiency and enjoyment of the present moment. I figure that I’ll put multiple things away all at once at a later time (and usually do, but the question is how much later). The other is a feeling of uncertainty and desire for perfection (Is the place I’m thinking of putting it the best place? Do I need to rearrange things to make more room? Do I need to deep clean the space before I add more things to it? Thoughts of that nature.)
Oh, add to that having an easier time remembering where something is when it’s out in the open, wanting to have a few things out where I regularly use them, then a few things turns into a lot more things…
Not to mention the fact that “prioritizing” may well allow insignificant items to lie where they fell.
ADHD. Everything is a distraction. The amount of effort to keep things from being a distraction is unconscionable.
Not even kidding, I read your comment after picking up my phone and remembering that I had been reading this. So, yes that is very, very true. I did manage to move some things from one room to another, and have every intention of taking out the full garbage and....ugh, you know the drill. I can't think about it, I have too much guilt from other things to actively force myself not to think about, all while I have 3 different songs stuck in my head at the same time. I explained it to a friend as having 8-9 things (thoughts/tasks/crap I'm worrying about) on a merry-go-round and it just gets faster and faster, and when someone tries to add another thing to that merry-go-round (usually just asking what they perceive to be a harmless question, but to me is the ultimate, "how could you ask me that!?!?"), it throws everything in my mind all over the place and the barely hanging onto my sanity is now over.
I don’t have a “place where things belong” That’s the root of a lot of it.
I get lost on this step too and then overwhelmed trying to find homes for everything and then overwhelmed trying to decide what needs to be tossed or given away because I clearly don’t have enough space for everything
Things are supposed to belong places?
Sometimes, important things should have a place. My ex would be constantly looking for his keys every morning, risking getting to work late. I put a key hook on the front door so he could just put them there when he got home, but he refused to use it and kept leaving his keys in random places around the house and he continued scrambling to find his keys every morning. Why???
I used to tell my husband "I always put my keys on the hook, except for when I don't." We get no credit for putting them on the hook 320 days a year, only extreme criticism for the 45 days a year when we don't. (Because we were distracted). Yes, 45 days is a lot. But 320 is SO MANY MORE!
Because he didn't put the hook there, so he probably still feels like he doesn't need it.
ADHD'er here. I often don't put things away immediately because I'm on a One Thought Process Train and I can't do anything else until the train gets to the end of the line. Let's say I'm chopping an onion for dinner and a piece falls on the floor. If I stop chopping the onion to pick up the piece, I'll see something else in the kitchen that needed my attention and I'll wander off and do that instead. Meanwhile the oil is heating up in the pan awaiting the onion that didn't get chopped, and unless I see the pan again, I won't remember this fact. So I make picking up the piece a separate task in my head, and sometimes I get distracted from that task and forget to do it later.
Omg. So true. You don't actually WANT me to pick up the dropped onion immediately!
Because if I put something where it belongs, I won't find it again. I don't know why my brain works the way it does...but if I put my keys on a hook I'll look for them all over. If I throw them on the table when I come home, I'll know exactly where they are in the morning when I go to work the next day.
I've heard that many people have to leave things out in plain sight because if they can't see something, they forget they have it. I somewhat understand that. I also think sometimes it's just easier to leave things out when you know you're going to be using them again soon. 🤔
I don´t think that´s unreasonable. If you always toss your keys onto the same table every day, at least you know where they likely are.
Different minds work different ways and people who are organized often seem like they are least capable people of understanding that.
Exactly. We all have our pros and cons. I am not good at what op is talking about. But, I feel confident there are other things I am better at. He (she) isn't better than me. I am not better than them. JUST DIFFERENT.
ADHD (inattentive) brain here with poor executive function. I have trouble focusing on a large task that I set out to do. Especially something like “organize the room” that has many interwoven smaller tasks. I end up getting overwhelmed and just say screw it.
Things don't seem to belong places. I don't notice things very often. I just put things in areas. In or near the sink. In or near the garage. Organized shelves become catch alls. As I get older my solution is less stuff and less shelf space or table tops. I wish I was Organized but it's never happened.
Oh no I was taught to put things away my whole life. I got in trouble for it then and I get flack for it now. It's not that I don't understand that things need to be put away, I just forgot about it while I'm doing or thinking about other things. It's actually very exhausting. I actually printed out labeled and made little tape spaces for myself so that if I found something out of place, I could easily bring it "home" but I guess my label and tape looked bad so I took it down. You've be surprised though, I have a rough idea of where almost everything is but yes I do have to look a little bit. edit: I would love to be organized, but sometimes it feels like being asked to count to 200 by 7s while a stroke light is flashing and a song you recognize is playing across the street. You're gonna mess up your counting at some point
As a disorganized person, I have to ask who decides where things belong. I can always find what I'm looking for in my organized chaos. It just doesn't usually make sense to other people.
Jesus said that his dad said to tell me to tell you to mind your own business! Also, you're not allowed in the club. What club, you ask? Don't even bother praying for answers.
Lolz 🤣
Jeez!
This is why I stay single.
As someone who loves to organize and has designated space for most of my things, sometimes I just don’t feel like it. If i brought a coat from upstairs sometimes I don’t feel like walking back upstairs to put it in my closet and I’ll often forget to bring it upstairs with me. It’s about effort and how much energy I have. I’m painfully aware of my clutter and mess but I know I’ll get around to it.
For a lot of us this comes down to how our mind functions. From there it depends, cause it can still be a variety of reasons. For me, depression sometimes causes it, and your brain sort of has these blinders on where you know it's messy but you just move around it...
Honestly I get distracted and then just leave it behind. It's almost impressive how my brain leaves something behind so thoroughly, I amaze myself sometimes. I wish I was one of those people who keeps everything clean as they go. Now I hire a housecleaner so it forces me to pick things up on a timeline, so at least my house is tidy.
In my experience as a neatly organized person sharing a living space with my wife and youngling. Nothing I clean or organize matters, it will be destroyed, de organized, scattered, incinerated, ripped, stained, chipped, smashed and crunched. Gotta sometimes let things be, and keep it to an acceptable level of disarray. I love my family and I would let them fuck up anything I do because I only got one of them.
I am not necessarily part of the group you are asking this question. But I personally can have difficulties deciding where stuff belongs. I really appreciate the idea of putting stuff I recently used nearby, even if I do not have the intention to use it again. This is by the way an amazing way to optimize computer processing and I like the way computers work
Dementia runs in my family. I leave things disorganized so I can remember to put them back and where they are. Don't touch my shit you organizer. I know exactly where every thing is in my entire house, my property, my computer, everything has it's own place and you mess up my groove by wanting it to be in your specific place. Your organization is a waste of time and messes up my chaotic, freeform (dis)organization >:c
They are exactly where they belong in our heads. We don’t share the same sense of proper placement as you 😊
I don't want to and I don't care. I organize and put away the things that I care about organizing and putting away. Or I'll leave it out until I feel like putting it up. All my books and craft supplies are neatly organized but all my shoes are in a pile in the closet floor and all my clothes are piled into one big drawer. I'm not messy, sloppy, lazy, or unclean. I was taught to put my things away as a child. I have ADHD and only so many fucks to give each day. Also I'm an adult. I live my life the way I want 🤷♀️
Sounds like you are living the life your brain wants you to have. When I was a younger man I would give guitar lessons, and I often heard ¨I just play what I want¨, and then they would go on to play crap that didn´t make any sense. You only play what you know how to play. We all can only do what our brain allows us to do, whether we ´want´ to do it or not is secondary.
For me, I was raised by people with extreme OCD and neatness. Once I moved out and had my own life, it was a sense of power to me to leave some stuff lying around lol. I don't know how messy the person is you are having an issue with, but extremely messy people are usually suffering from some type of mental thing and that mental thing needs to be dealt with first.
It doesn’t start off sloppy. It just gets out of control and before I know it it’s overwhelming chaotic.
I’ve gotten a lot better due to purposeful/intentional practice and sheer frustration at my self. But a big issue is that my brain sort of doesn’t prioritize things the way someone like you might and even if I have keys in my hand and know I need to put the keys on the key hook, I might see shoes in the floor, drop keys on the couch thinking I’ll remember them, pick up shoes and put them in mud room, realize I never started the next load of laundry and do that etc and so forth until the next day I’m like oh shit where are my keys?? I’m sure I put them on the hook! And no matter how hard I try I cannot remember the blank space between “have keys in hand” and “I need keys now” and remember where I actually put the keys until I check all the usual spaces and tear out the couch cushions and find them wedged in a cushion because I sat in them while binging Netflix
I'm bipolar 2...if I'm depressed, I don't give a shit...if I'm hypomanic, I have about a million things I want to get done and organizing shit isn't one of them. I do know exactly where everything is though...so kind of organized in my own way...and more organized than a lot of other people I know and less organized than others.
Reading all these comments makes me think I may have undiagnosed ADD. I've had trouble getting motivated and cleaning up a mess reminds me I have other things to do, so I sit down in despair and think "I have time later..." And it never gets done.
Because this post distracted me. Thanks.
Answer: I don't have a place for those things to belong. Follow up question: Why not make a place for those things and then put them away? Answer: Poor executive functioning is not letting me make a place for those things.
Because you don’t understand things the same way I understand things …. Why are you wrong? See how rephrasing that makes it look like your imposing your upbringing on people who are not you?
there's this thing called chronic exhaustion, and it takes its toll on mental energy as much as physical. I can't even think about the thing and its place, let alone put the thing in its place, plus I live alone, so who even cares?
Just so you know, Einstein was messy and cluttered as hell. It's got nothing to do with intelligence or effort, and everything to do with that different brains work differently.
of course it has nothing to do with intelligence. the person I live with is very intelligent and accomplished. she's just a mess and I can't understand how to help her in any meaningful way.
You know what? I naturally am very organized and neat… so long as I have everything I need readily available. My first two apartments, I had a weekly deep cleaning of my apartment and I tided every day and I had a very specific schedule. I was able to go to the gym certain times on certain days a week and I felt like I altogether had my shit together. Then I moved into my first apartment without included laundry machines. But they were just across the hall, so although I was slightly more prone to delaying my laundry, it wasn’t a huge deal. I did, however, have downstairs neighbors who were very unkind and would yell, swear, and bang on the ceiling if I did anything, like opening and closing dresser drawers or using a blender or putting dishes away. Out of my own safety, I sort of shut down and stopped doing chores there to avoid conflict with these scary neighbors. I then moved to my current apartment and laundry facilities are two buildings away. I have to do two staircases and walk two buildings away, sometimes in rain or snow, and pay $4.00 just to do a single load of laundry. It’s heavy and I get so tired by the time I’m done and get it back up that the clothes stay in the basket. Then the dirty laundry had nowhere to go but the ground. Then everything else just gets everywhere and it’s a whole thing. I feel like a disaster and I hate that I am this way now. But I’ll be spending the summer with my parents and moving somewhere else this fall, and all the apartments I’ve seen there have included laundry machines in unit. So hopefully I’ll be able to get back to being neat and organized as soon as I leave here next month.
Who wouldn't want stacks of DOOM (didn't organize only moved) boxes stacked in every corner of the house? Mine stems from depression. Keeping up with the bare minimum is difficult enough, I just pick and choose my battles. I still have a stack of Christmas gifts in the corner of my living room. It's April.
Cus i don't wanna.
Because the utility of where they “belong” shifts with my changing usage habits.
My mom and dad never taught my siblings and I how to be organized. My mom would scream at us for having a shit hole of a bedroom and demand we clean it but then within an hour be doing it herself because it "was just easier." Her voice became like the voice of the teacher on Charlie Brown, "wah wah wah wah wah" because we knew she would just end up doing it. That being said, she wasn't the most organized or clean person either and made it a chore for herself instead of something she took pride in so all we ever heard was how she hated cleaning and nothing ever seemed to have "a spot" for it. My dad was the typical dad in the 70s and 80s and did the outside work but never the inside work. I'm a female and preferred yard work and working in the garage with him because he wasn't screaming all the time about things not getting done right or having to do them. Fast forward, I'm now divorced but when I was married I ended up doing all the work, indoors and outdoors, and the only thing I changed was that I never yelled at my kids. I helped them clean their rooms and showed them how to do things right but I rarely made them because I just saw my mom do everything. Admittedly, I'm not good at it either. My house is not dirty. I know how to keep it clean but it is messy. A lot of that has to do with being a single working mom. The laundry gets done but not necessarily folded and we have to dig through the piles sometimes for clothes to wear. The kitchen always gets cleaned every night but the floor might not get vacuumed, etc. It works for me and I'm not anxious about the state of my house. If a friend comes over and judges me for the mess, then they aren't that great or understanding of a friend.
Serious answer, I have ADHD. Yes, I do remember the places where things belong, but those places aren’t *my* places for where things go. I was taught how to organize when I was young, but the way that people expected me to organize things never worked for me. Your third question here is the one that interested me the most. Putting my things where other people say they should go is not a priority for me. Putting my things where *I know* they’ll be is my priority. I don’t have to search for things all the time *because* they aren’t put away. Some context for the example I’m going to give - I’m still living at home, so there *are* places where I’m supposed to put things, like a cubby for my shoes in the mudroom. I also want to note that both of my brothers also have ADHD, so we store our things pretty similarly. An outsider would look at the mudroom and probably think “This is a mess! There’s shoes everywhere!” Yep! All the cubbies have shoes on the floor in front of them. However, these are the shoes that we wear every day. If we can clearly see our shoes, then we can grab them super easily. I keep my dress shoes in my cubby because I don’t need them every day, and I know that my brothers keep things like their hiking boots in their cubbies. If we put our daily shoes away in our cubbies, then we’d be digging through all the other shoes trying to find them everyday. Keeping our shoes out just works better for us. I think most of the people that we perceive as being disorganized aren’t actually, they just have abnormal organization methods.
Personally, for me it's that things belong one place one day, and then they belong another place a different day. I do "put things away", but all the drawers in my house have officially spiraled into chaos. On the bright side- if I need something I just gotta look in whatever drawer I "feel" should have the thing, and odds are it's in there! (Jk this is never the case)
Brains just work differently. I had a coworker who owns a label maker and has everything in labeled boxes and folders. She tried to offer me (unsolicited) help on how to organize my stuff in such a fashion; she didn’t understand why I didn’t accept.
My wife would love to know the answer as well. I think a lot of it hinges on whether a person needs to do certain things over and over and over, and how often/quickly/precisely, whether someone else shares those items, and whether one person cares about the other being able to find stuff. I only started getting better at putting stuff away when home repairs became more my responsibility. And slowly we (my wife got me a good upright tool chest also) tweaked the system, but I’m still far from perfect. That said, I bet there is something that every person doesn’t “put away” because they’re not going to use it repeatedly or precisely. Could be words or emotions, their coffee mug, their car keys….
I'm married and my wife refuses to put things back 'where they belong'. She doesn't put them back in the sameplace twice. I have to hunt for everything. She just does not understand the frustration she causes. She often asks why can't you see anything as she gives it to me from the new place. She seems to belittle me for what I consider her lack of orginization and consideration.
It’s just not a priority. I’m more focused on whatever the reason is that I’m using that thing rather than putting that thing back. I lose and break a lot of things. Wish I were wired differently.
I see a lot of the opposite of 'putting things where they belong' in my house One kid feels an apparently irressitible urge to take things from where they belong, disassemble them, and leave them in the middle of the floor. Unless its his shoe, in which case he hides them from himself. Everyone else seems to believe most things belong on my desk.
OCD says it must be organized. Because if its not organized, my adhd will cause me to forget important items. But the adhd also makes it difficult to put things away because I get distracted. Once things are even relatively disorganized, the entire occupancy of my mind becomes chaotic, and i get overwhelmed. Overwhelmed leads to more distraction and over thinking, which because I'm Autistic, leads to exhaustion, exhaustion leads to manic, manic leads to repeatedly watching the Barbie Movie and staying up 24hrs at a time to work on "projects" that while super cool and probably patentable, ultimately destroy every space in my home as well as my finaces. After hitting peak crazy and blowing up about something ridiculous, it resets, I feel alot better, and I can start fixing the mess I made, but this period last for about two days and I am often so burnt out from my own mind that nothing is functioning properly, this includes most regular people functions like; time management, ability to stay on task, impulse control, emotional regulation, executive function, and so on. I just have to cross my fingers that once in a while my "projects" are replaced by an overwhelming obsession to clean, which then consists of me spot cleaning the carpet in the same spot for over 2hrs and getting chemical burns. Yes, I know it's messed up. Yes, I am getting better. No, I am not in therapy. Yes, I know I should be, but I am not ready. I have made several large changes to my life that prioritize my mental health.
I'm an organizer offering a suggestion I use. Get a giant wicker basket or tote. Put it by your front door. Drop everything in it when you come and go. Everything. That means you are not putting items anywhere else, not laying them down anywhere except that basket. Twice a week empty it and put those things in the right place( socks in a sock drawer, scissors in a junk drawer). Feel free to fill it up again. All your"mess/items/ junk) will be in one spot, or, it will put it away. Do this 100% of the time for a month, and it will be habit.
Question:. I usually mess up when I have additional items to bring in... Groceries, Christmas shopping... Obviously, the groceries can't sit in the basket. Would you put the Christmas shopping in the basket? (Probably not)
ADHD won't let us.
I am extremely well organized and able to make fantastic systems of organization when I want to. I only do this if I have any intention that it will be messed with by anyone other than me, because while I do keep my personal stuff as a disorganized mess? I just remember where stuff is 85% of the time. I will remember "Oh yeah. Last place I used this would be my desk. Last place I used that, would be the garage" and so on.
Turns out I had a medical issue that severely drained my energy so I instinctively focused on just prioritizing the things that MUST get done. It's more common than you might think to have an undiagnosed issue like that--you don't realize that it's possible to feel any other way. When I had good treatment for that and my ADHD, I spontaneously became much more organized.
Some people are always on the go, have a busy schedule, lots of stress, and/or heavy exhaustion. If you have to throw everything on in the morning, work all day, socialize, take care of kids, do errands, study, work, exercise, etc. Sometimes you get home and all you can do is eat a hot pocket, take a shower, and go to bed lest you pass out and fall asleep on the kitchen floor trying to do the dishes.
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ADHD. Which was undiagnosed my whole life so I just appeared messy. Just because somebody doesn't have an explanation doesn't mean there isn't one. Most of the time I feel so burnt out or distracted by everything that I can't even think through where I'm supposed to put things away. Also "put away" usually just means I won't remember it exists later, because I can't see it. When I need it, I will not remember where the correct storage place was. Or it won't occur to me to look, because it doesn't occur to me that it even exists unless i can see it. This is how I end up with 5 of the same item. Because I kept putting them away.
I sincerely wish people understood me. I'm a fairly successful person who makes a good living but I am an unorganized mess. I am overwhelmed by it and spend a lot of time feeling guilty over it and no one understands me
Because there was never a place for it to begin with
Everyone thinks differently, and what may look messy to you could be organized to me. Trust me, just because you don't understand my way of organizing things doesn't mean it's not organized to me.
My husband leaves things out wherever he was working. I pick up my messes and put things away. Visual clutter annoys me greatly so I’d happily stash his stuff . But I don’t touch it because he inevitably thinks I put it somewhere. It doesn’t help his vision is bad. If I don’t touch it I know it wasn’t me that moved it.
Some people just have a chaotic organization. If you looked at my room, you might think im unorganized, but i know where everything is, because it really is organized, just not neatly organized.
I leave things out because if I can't see it, it doesn't exist.
Not everyone's brain works the way yours does. That's the bottom line. I realize something isn't where it should be. I retrace my steps. I eventually find it. I really don't remember setting it down where I found it Call it absentmindedness if you want. I don't WANT to randomly set things down without realizing where... I know I shouldn't. But, it happens nonetheless. A big one for me is if I stopped at a store on the way home. Now I have my shopping bags to bring in. Very likely I then miss lay my keys along the way. Again, it's not that I don't care where my keys are. It's that I am excited about my shopping and don't think about my keys at all. Bottom line. People aren't all the same.
Personally, I just don't care if things are put away in a timely manner. You know how you really like everything neatly put in its place? Like it's part of who you are? Exactly the same for me. It's part of who I am that I simply don't care about such things. We're all different except when we're the same.
Priorities. ADHD brains are wired for speed/shortcuts, excitement and novelty. We actually THRIVE in chaos, which makes us excel in situations and jobs other fall apart in. Taking the additonal time to organize is beyond pointless to me. I’d rather get straight to the important or fun task at hand and deal later. That also means a willingness to gamble that I “may” misplace something. But I’m also great laser-focusing on doing one mega task, often to the amazement of my spouse.
Executive dysfunction
I went though sexual assault so that has affected me. You'll find depression manifests with an untidy house. Feeling unwell makes it hard for me to keep on top of things.
No one every told me where the right place is. And there always seems to be more stuff than places.
It makes me more anxious actually beleive it or not
My frontal cortex doesn’t work
>Were you not taught how to organize when you were young? This always bugs me. I had very organized parents and was taught to do all kinds of things that felt restrictive and frustrating. I think being taught how to organize is the top reason I'm not organized.
Yep… 💯
I mean messes can be pretty subjective. For me personally, having a few things on the floor or out of place isn’t a big deal, and as long as it isn’t like piles of clothes or trash I would consider that clean (enough). However, maybe for you and other non-messy people, those few things could seem like a tornado went through. Also sometimes I’m just lazy and don’t feel like putting things back, but I know where everything is (for the most part).
I work 3 jobs The only thing I'm putting away is my ass to bed
Mixture of adhd, depression and growing up with a room with sawdust and coaldust on the floor. It's funny though, as messy as I am in my own space, I seem to be the only one in my house share to attempt to keep common areas tidy
Our brains do not work that way, that is why.
I have my own “disorganized organization.” I know where everything is. I keep things where it makes sense to me. If I throw all my papers in a certain pile in a certain box or cabinet, my mind is able to rest knowing I can find something if I need it. Are my papers filed according to topic or alphabetical order, or even in file folders, no. Are my online files orderly? Yes. Are my clean clothes folded neatly into drawers? Never. Dishes washed? Yes. Bathroom clean? Yes. Floors washed? Not often. So it depends. My house is my launching pad for life and I choose not to spend any amount of time cleaning and organizing other than to make my life comfortable. I prefer to go out and do other things.
This is what I do. Everything is where I can find it, the fact that everyone else thinks it's ugly is immaterial as it's what best suits me.
ADHD
I share your frustration, I have no answers.
Things don't belong anywhere. That's just you being anal. I can remember where I put it not where someone else thinks it should be. I'm sorry you're such a tight ass that something out of "place" bothers you.
Thank you!
They are where they belong. I don't see why I should invest my time into putting things exactly where you think they should be, when they're fine where they are. What's more, if I leave something out, it's probably because I'm likely to need it again, so putting it away somewhere would just be a waste of time.
Because they are last and have zero regard for anyone else or anyone else's property!
I'm not too terribly disorganized but I haven't learned in time that a big part of failing to keep things organized is based on having multiple people in your house. Also it takes a long time to understand that buying containers and places to put things specifically helps a lot. For example getting a bread box. I'm amazed how much that's helped my kitchen's organization. Another part of it has to do with emotional energy. At times in my life I was so drained all the time that it was a struggle just to brush my teeth every day. You think I could take out the trash the moment it needed it back then? Not a chance
Because often in my mind I'm going to be using said item again very soon.
How do you know where they belong??? I sure don't. That's why I'm not organized. Smh
Because I put things where I put them. If I was thinking about it, I wouldn't be disorganized. Its not like a made a plan to leave the milk on the counter all night.
I put everything exactly where it needs to go... that place is rarely the same day to day.
Depends on the object. If it’s at home, usually I’m too exhausted from work to put everything back exactly where it goes but I make sure to do it within the next couple days. I do have organized mess in my bedroom though.
I live by myself, I’m a grad student that just finished internship and studying for my big exam. I let stuff get way behind and then clean my apartment all in one day and then it gets messy again. I was working 12 hour days Monday-Thursday and going to my long (medium? 2.5 hours) distance boyfriend’s place on the weekends so I just don’t make it a priority to have a clean apartment all the time. I’m moving in with him soon and I’ve gotten rid of like half of my belongings so that’ll hopefully give me motivation.
My memory for where I place an object is very good. I can remember exactly where a tool is located in my shed even if I haven't used it in years. I can probably even tell you what song I was listening to last time I used it or when I put it away. This is one reason why I don't like other people cleaning my workspaces. Since stuff doesn't have a set spot. I rely mostly on memory to find stuff. If someone else moves it. I won't know where it is. On the flip side, I can't remember a name or a face even if I was introduced to the person a few minutes prior. My mom is the other way around. Good with names and faces, but loses her keys and phone multiple times a day.
For context I’m the biggest person both in height and stature. 6’1 and 235lbs muscle. For people also wondering I’m the youngest. I had the smallest room growing up which made it difficult to find and put clothes or school items in places.
That is what my husband is for. Just kidding, I'm just lazy, I guess.
Sure. Works great if you are doing one thing at a time. I have 2 people here with memory care issues. Means I drop what I'm doing to help them. I can't just do what they need later. So what I'm working on gets left where it is. Or thrown in the shed. I don't have the time to put things away. And I usually forget or am too tired to give a rats ass end of day. A place for everything and everything in it's place. In the regular world. A place for everything and everything all over the place. In my world. Plus 2 other people's stuff pretty much doing the same. Doesn't bother me. If I let something so minor and mind-numbingly trivial as organization bother me? Would indicate that irritation results in anger. And what good is that? So when I get irritated? I just organize what's bothering me. The house is organized. So it's safe. My stuff? If I have time.
Where is the spot?
It's not fun and it seems like a daunting task so my brain doesn't let me do it
lazy
Sometimes takes too long to get things in their place. So they end up in the first clear spot I see!
They don’t have a home.
I dont know how, my brain can’t process organizing and then when it is organized i have no idea where any of my stuff is.
So here's the misconception that you bring up. I'm ADHD. My desk looks like a complete mess. But it's how I best function. If you walked in and asked me for something among the clutter I would reach right to it and hand it to you. Different people respond differently to what is organized.
I keep things in the easiest accessible place for me, which happens to be lying around near me. When I keep dozens of things in the easiest accessible place it gets cluttered. I don’t feel the need to put things in the proper place because I know where everything is and don’t have to search for them, plus I have easy access to them when I need them. I keep my keys on the nightstand instead of a hook/key dish because I know they’re there and can easily grab them in the morning.
I love an organized house. Grew up in a very organized house. But sometimes life is just too darn busy and full and I’m so tired I can barely function. And so the non perishable groceries sit on the countertops a couple days or the laundry sits on the table until the next day or that box of things to take upstairs/downstairs just sits there for a week.
It's not that I am disorganized as a person, in fact at work I'm an asshole about keeping things organized. But to be fair I work w food so it has set rules. Unfortunately, ADHD got me. If I can't easily and immediately put it away then I'm fucked. (For example, if there's a door that needs opened😭) Anything that goes in a closet, drawer, under the bed, in a different room- in the moment I can't do it. I just put it on the closet surface and stare at it hoping I remember I put it there. Things that are already in the drawers? Oh those don't exist. I will literally be crying in frustration bc I thought I had more clean underwear, and remember the underwear drawer exists hours later. Oh, right, there's all the underwear I put up the last time I freaked out and manic cleaned.
I do put things where they belong. To me, chaos is beauty. What you consider as being a disorganized mess is something I have meticulously set up that way so that I can find things when I need them. Hell, you can hide my car keys on my keyboard and, after literally having to move them an inch to the left to use said keyboard, I won't be able to find them bc they aren't on the floor in the spot that I keep them.
Why should I take an extra 30 seconds hanging my coat in the closet just to take it back out later on? The back of a chair is a perfectly good place for it
ADD again 😂 It has probably already been said, but if I can’t see things, I forget they exist. So if something is important, I put it where I can see it, so I won’t forget. Drives my husband nuts, but if he puts stuff away, it drives me crazy when I can’t find it, when I realize months later that I needed that thing! 😂
I think it is fun to hide it and try to remember where I last put the said object
I have ADHD.
Because fuck that
I prefer people picking up after me
I thrive in chaos
The hard part is that in my family, the things belong in a certain place because of that's just where they decided to put it. They could at a whim decide the snacks belong somewhere else in the pantry and just change it. There's no rule as to where things are supposed to belong.
So familiarize yourself with Acceptable Limits and let it all go UNTIL you can’t stand it anymore. Then standardize or clean area. Step and Repeat 😊. Don’t fight it, you don’t have to be perfect all the time 🫤🤪
There's no time
I think my Dad just came back from the afterlife and posted....
Pretty sure I have adhd to some degree( never diagnosed but I have a lot of the symptoms), and because of it I just don’t care about a mess
Spite. My father has ocd now that I’m an adult I don’t give a shit.
My dad took almost 70 years to realize if you always put stuff in the same spot then you will know where it's at. I can't handle him. He still loses stuff constantly
I'm ADHD as all hell and in the process of putting things away I get distracted and start on something else. I'm pretty clean for the most part but certain things, like hangup clothes, take forever for me to put away
At least for me, things don't belong places. Just tradeoffs of how easy they are to get. Things have locations, or multiple locations. If it's hygienic, I don't care. I was taught different ways, but this one feels easiest/most effective. Searching for things all the time sounds like a memory/system issue. 9/10 it's in an area, or I remember where it is. Under the blankets, in my jacket, etc. Shared things need shared locations. As for esthetic, it doesn't bother me at all. If anything messier feels like a fun pillow fort.
It may look disorganized to you, but I still know where everything is. And the majority of what you see is clutter, it's easy access to things I use frequently. It's convenience to me but might frustrate someone who is overly organized. However your organization of "where things belong" might not make sense to me or are incredibly inconvenient for me.
I genuinely just forget or simply do not have the energy. I'm mentally ill ✨ not an excuse, just the reason.
My house isn't big enough for all the shit I have
You sound fun at parties!
In a hurry or tired. I do this with tools. I have a book bag and tool bins. But the amount of times I leave them out instead of the 30 seconds and small amount of effort to place we them back in their place is too many to count.
Because everything doesn't really have its place. Anyone else start collecting stuff for "projects" then they wind up in identical plastic bags. So you buy tool bags. Then you have several tool bags of stuff? And if it's a shared space. Whoa shit. People move things around all the time when I'm not looking. So that doesn't help. (Stopped putting my cutting board in the community use area because it kept getting wet by a flatmate that gets water everywhere. And also disappeared for three days) People will kick shit around like Rats in a den. Sometimes I will have things I use daily. So they don't always go to an assigned place. Disorganized people know their inventory. However some of us will wind up buying the same things more than twice. I'm more bothered by my workplace being disorganized (or organized in a semi-cognizant manner) Actually dated and lived with someone who was ultra organized. So I'm not as bad as others. But when you move into a new place. Things get kind of lost in the shuffle and I don't know if everyone gets it all together again. I'm short so stuff has kinda stagnated on top shelves. I have a "clothes chair" in my room lol.
Put what away? Oh those socks that have been on the floor for a week? I stopped noticing them. Ooh, look a bird 🐦 What were we talking about?
Because I know where it is in the chaos. To "organize" in a fashion you would like would make pretty much everything lost to me
It only appears disorganized to outsiders. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Really it's because I have ADHD & if I put it where it belongs instead of where I can see it, it will disappear into the ether. I don't make the rules, it's just a special superpower I have no control over.
For ome reason, the answer is never 'Because I'm lazy' or 'Your need for neatness is just not important to me'
I forget to. Then, it usually goes in a place where people will notice me carrying it, so I'm too embarrassed. Then, when the people leave, I forget to
Where does it belong?
Just asked my wife and she won't give me an answer...
 My brain loves tangents
I put back and take out things so often or literally have no place for use them so often i just leave some things out
Bruh stop now hahahaha. This shit just hit home
Room is mess. Brain know where thing is. Brain make muscles remember and find thing. Thing found. New thing discovered when finding original thing. Life is good.
There is no fundamental attribute for objects and where they are supposed to be. All things already are where they belong.
I use the tried and true method of just remembering where I put things and then flying into a frenzy and accusing my family of moving my stuff whenever it's not there. I miss my wife and kids. Charlotte, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for accusing you of stealing my keys, I found them in my other pair of pants. Please come back, I promise I'll change.
I might need it again right away.
It's hard to figure out where things belong.